Original subtitles

You’ve reached Anne.

Send an SMS - don’t leave a message. I won’t check it anyway.

I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Bye!

Hi, Anne. I’m at the hospital with Dad.

You should have been here now.

Damn you for not being here.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.

I just wish you were here with me.

I really miss you.

Do they think that people with poor prognoses love cars?

Or knitting?

Do you like knitting? - Dad…

I’ve read about a treatment in Germany that we could...

Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your clients.

I’ve talked to my old colleagues. I know my prognosis.

Sorry.

''I hope your whole fucking family dies in a fire, you cunt''

Ole Johan Middelthon.

Fucking, bloody, stupid...

Don’t get mad. - Of course I’m mad!

We thought that you were dying, and now...

They make mistakes in your job, too.

I’m thinking about the guy who thought he was better.

Now he’s getting a phone call saying he has incurable cancer in the head.

I’ve been lying awake lately.

Thinking… really scared.

Suddenly I get my life back, after that stupid doctor switched the tests.

For six months, I’ve thought about what happened to Anne.

How short and brutal life is.

I’ve had a great life.

But I want to be honest with myself and the people around me.

Ok.

Why did you do that? - Do you have to talk to Finn?

He has to invite the kids to Copenhagen.

Why are you paying and booking everything?

He’s their father, he can do it.

He lives in Copenhagen. They don’t have to know that he’s an idiot.

They’ll realize it at some point. - That has to come later.

Pernille?

I really loved your mom, and I’m happy for the time we got,

but the thing is that I’m gay.

Are you? - Yes.

That’s great, Dad.

Congratulations. Or what do I say?

Congratulations? Yes, that’s nice.

Thank you. - Dad.

My God.

I need to move. Can you drive me to Lake Sognsvann?

Of course.

Is that why you’re at Sognsvann all the time?

To meet men?

I’m hiking every day. I love the outdoors.

Sorry! “Gay and loves the outdoors.” That’s your dating profile.

Gay and loves the outdoors!

I’m in a totally different place now.

My sister, I mean, my lawyer,

says that I should get custody of Linnea again. Pretty soon.

First, we’ll talk about unsupervised visits from Linnea.

The most important part is what’s best for the child.

I have to answer that. Sorry, I’m on call.

We have to say something. It’s humiliating and embarrassing.

It’s not embarrassing. You can’t use that word.

You are here to observe, not moralize.

I don’t see how she can be working.

She’s not balanced.

Let’s first see if she notices and how she reacts.

Then we might have to mention the trousers later on.

I’m sorry. I had to give a second opinion about a patient.

Do you want coffee? - I’d love one.

Martine, what are your thoughts about the help you’ve been offered?

Do you take milk?

No, thank you. I take it black.

I take it black too.

There you are.

Can you drive? My knee really hurts.

Of course, boss. - Thank you.

“Adult for a day.”

“My knees are hurting. Adults have bad knees.”

“I heard a crying baby. Damn!”

“I looked down at an unhappy baby.”

“I don’t know how to breastfeed, so it drank from the carton.”

“There was a man in the bed. Why did I marry him?”

Are the girls coming next weekend? “It’s over. I threw him out and patted my baby.”

SHE TEXTS “No, this is your dick” THEN ERASES AND CHANGES IT TO “No, this one” No, this. I sent the flight details two weeks ago “I’d rather be single. I bought buns for all the girls in the class.”

“All the boys in my class are criminal.”

“The boys wanted to ride in my convertible, but I said: No way!”

Should I read it all? - That’s fine.

That was great. Really imaginative.

Can you booka cool restaurant for us? Can you leave the room so I can talk to your mum?

I understand that You’ve had a tough year.

How is your nephew doing at his new school?

It’s going as well as it could, I think.

Sorry for being so blunt.

When I lost my sister, it felt better when people asked me directly.

That’s fine.

Leo’s living with us while his father’s in rehab,

but I think we’re doing quite well.

It seems like Sigrid isn’t doing that great.

She often leaves the classroom to visit the library or the school nurse.

Because she’s so sad.

She’s upset because she had to change rooms, but I don’t think she’s particularly sad.

Is it a bit like the shoemaker’s children?

Because you work with difficult issues, it’s easy to ignore your own.

That’s possible.

I’m going to talk to her. - That’s good.

That’s all I had.

Thank you for the coffee. - Thank you for coming.

Are you hurt? - My knee. I’m having an operation.

I’m sure you’ll be fine.

This might be a bit blunt,

but I have two tickets for Father John Misty this Friday.

Do you want to come? - That’s nice.

I’ll check with the babysitter, then I’ll text you.

Absolutely.

Look out for Hans Petter. He had sex with Sylvi’s mother.

And he had breakfast at Harald’s.

Vilde said that he gave both her mum and her dad chlamydia.

It makes you sterile. - I don’t want any more children.

So that’s fine. Tie your shoelaces.

Couldn’t you ride it home? Isn’t the point to get some exercise?

That Sats Elixia gym membership is a waste.

Don’t call it Sats Elixia when it’s called Sats.

And don’t say “exercise”. It’s too steep.

Send me 4,000 kroner.

Is Sigrid upset because of Anne?

Her teacher says she’s leaving the classroom.

4,000 kroner for a used bicycle?

Isn’t it supposed to be cheap?

Why did you buy a bike when you’re leaving for Argentina?

That’s not the Argentina account. - Which account is it, then?

You’re so cheap! You live for free in grandfather’s house,

and your children can’t have a bike?

Just because you can pay for your kids, doesn’t mean that you should.

You don’t want to be like Celine who got an apartment from her dad.

I’m not like Celine. I have the wrong personality.

You have a charming personality.

Sigrid isn’t upset. She just says that to get out of class.

Sigrid, yours is powered up. Can I have mine back?

I’m just sending a picture.

Why do you leave class? Because you’re upset about aunt Anne?

I’m not upset about aunt Anne. Or, I guess I am.

I’m upset because Leo is staying with us.

He takes up a lot of space, and he’s a boy.

How do I add Vegard Harm on Snap? - Sigrid, give me my phone.

From the Baseball Bat Case. - Don’t read it.

“I’m going to cut your cunt with a blunt pair of scissors.”

Why is that? - They’re not doing it.

I’m working with people who can get a bit upset.

Everybody hates Child Welfare.

That’s not true. You don’t hear about the people who are happy.

So you’re actually leaving class because Leo took your room?

Dad called and invited us to Copenhagen this weekend.

We’re going to a cool restaurant, Gorilla in Kødbyen.

Who don’t we do any cool things? - Give me my phone.

Shouldn’t you use a knife instead of scissors?

I told Grandpa that you could drive him.

He’s shopping for some clothes. - I have to make dinner.

Can’t we just eat later? You can be nice to your father.

Especially when he buys you a car.

Pørni is upset because someone wants to cut her cunt with scissors.

Did you tell the kids that I’m gay?

Not yet. I wanted Leo to be here too.

There’s no point in waiting.

What about Father John Misty?

I don’t know if this looks good. - It’s great.

I haven’t heard from the babysitter.

Who are you texting? - Nobody.

We can play “dare” at my place afterwards.

The babysitter just answered. No, sorry.

How about this?

The last one was prettier.

Prettier? I’ve had pretty shirts for 71 years.

I’ll take this. - Get both.

Turn signal.

It’s automatic.

Stop!

Easy.

Not that easy.

You have to use the turn signal going into the roundabout too.

Or else you’ll fail your driving test.

That’s possible, but you can’t shout at a learner driver.

My driving instructor says so too. - He has brakes. That’s different.

Do you want some wine? - I’ll have to drive Sigrid, so no.

Sigrid can take the bus. Here you are.

Thank you.

Can the girls bring sleeping bags so we don’t have to wash the bedding?

I want to change my name.

To Baldwin. - Why is that?

I’ve always liked Alec Baldwin. - Then you should just do it.

Are you crazy? Are you going to register it officially?

Baldwin Middelthon. - I’m just making up for lost time.

Cool shirt.

Dad asked me if you could call him so that you can talk.

OK.

I won’t check it anyway. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.

Hi! Dad isn’t sick after all.

The hospital made a fuck-up.

I got so angry. You would have been embarrassed.

Dad came out of the closet on the way home.

That’s what you’ve always said.

Leo is still very quiet. I don’t know anything about raising boys.

He still doesn’t talk to Charlie. Maybe he just needs some more time.

That’s it.

You have to stop feeding the wild cats.

Are you upset because of that shirt?

We can go and change it, but you’re not driving.

Down in five.

We’re taking this to the county board.

I’ll mention the formal mistakes.

Of course. We’ll re-evaluate the visiting arrangement.

Nice.

Thank you.

Formal mistakes, my ass.

It’s one wrong date. - You have to be precise.

Do you want to drive me home? - Yes.

You know that you’re destroying families?

My sister has agreed to everything.

There’s no reason to deny her unsupervised visits.

I hope you sleep at night. - Do you?

Do you really think your sister has changed her behavior?

Last time she was half-naked, and she didn’t notice.

Linnea is a safe child.

I’ve never heard her complain about anything.

Have you met a safe child?

Safe children are angry and disgusting, and they don’t listen.

You don’t know anything about traumatized children.

Shouldn’t you drive me home?

I’m so happy that my children are disgusting. How about yours?

Do you mean the twins? They’re not old enough yet.

They’ll get there. - I hope so.

Do you want to come up for a coffee? - Now?

The twins are away. Also… we haven’t talked about what happened.

Nothing really happened.

No, but I don’t normally kiss my colleagues.

You don’t? - No.

I don’t want it to be strange. - It won’t be strange.

So come up for a coffee.

You have your twins, I have a lot of kids.

It’s not a situation That’s crying out for a standing 69.

I actually meant coffee, but I could have managed a standing 69 too.

It’s a very difficult position. - Is it?

Just say if you change your mind. - See you!

Sigrid, can you come?

How was your day, Leo?

Leo?

How was your day? - OK.

The teacher has stopped calling me Leon.

You’re so slow! I thought you hated being late.

Somebody had peed on the toilet seat, and I had to clean it.

Take a yoghurt, Leo.

You have to pick them up. They haven’t been to your new place.

I’ll have to take a taxi. It’s a bit expensive.

Do you want to talk to Dad?

Hello? Sigrid?

Hi, Dad! I almost scored and had two assists.

That’s great! Maybe you’ll be the new Camilla Herrem.

I’m looking forward to seeing you.

Does Dad think I play handball? - He just got it wrong.

I have to take a pill. - Can I have one?

Of course not, it’s drugs. - Are you on drugs?

It’s for my knee, you idiot.

I’m having a knee operation next week.

Someone else has to drive you. - Yeah, yeah. Me, me, me!

“I have a gift for you. It’s sharp and ready.”

That was nice. It’s not just blunt scissors.

Sigrid, can you get the door? It’s Lara.

Can we make cupcakes? - Yes, after dinner.

Clean up afterwards. I hate a messy kitchen.

Did you know that Shawn Mendes never says no to a selfie?

It’s a principle. - That’s great.

Is he an actor?

Stay relevant, Pørni. Lara, come on.

It’s nice here.

I can’t stand starting the weekend with a messy house.

It’s lucky for me that Lara is spending the night here.

I’ve been asked to a concert, someone called Father John Misty.

You’ll never guess who invited me.

Hans Petter, the teacher.

Don’t tell the kids. - Of course not.

I don’t give a shit. He’s 28 or whatever.

Now that Lasse has finally moved out,

I’m making several trips to the buffet.

And you should too. - No.

That’s right. You’re having a quiet night at home, as usual.

Do you want to see the draft of the spring concert poster?

Let’s see. There!

You’re good. You should do this for a living.

Is it called “It hurts when buds are breaking”? That’s stupid.

But Anniken is reading that poem. - Yes, but people have to come.

Tellef! - Hello, Pørni!

Great pants! - Thanks a lot.

Hi, honey!

How is your mom doing? - Fine, she’s at home now.

Let me know me when you’re leaving, I have a book for her.

Don’t look at me like that because I’m having friends over.

You should have told me. It’s lame without enough pizza.

Don’t say “lame”.

Can’t you just order some more?

No wonder you don’t get laid. You’re running a youth club.

Bye! - Have a good time.

Can you promise me one thing? Use a condom.

What? - You never know.

Even if he’s educated with a hipster beard.

Bye! - Have a good time.

Hi!

Dad says that you’re not answering. - I don’t want to talk to him.

I know you’re angry, but you must talk to him before your confirmation.

Why do you protect him? He killed your sister with a car.

No, it was an accident.

Do I have to look after and feel sorry for a guy in a wheelchair?

No. I don’t know, but we have to make a plan,

and Charlie has to be a part of it.

Leo?

You’ve reached Anne.

Send an SMS - don’t leave a message. I won’t check it anyway.

I’ll call you back as soon as I can. Bye!

Hi! I don’t know what to do about Leo.

He’s so angry with Charlie. They haven’t talked since you...

I can’t force him.

Jesus! You scared me!

You scared me too!

You went to the garage, closed the door and didn’t come back in.

I’m not planning to kill myself. I’m just zoning out.

You hid in the bathroom when Anne and I were kids.

I wasn’t difficult, but when Anne was nagging…

Anne was just enthusiastic and loved life.

I miss her.

Me too, every day.

Why didn’t you tell us how you felt?

We would have handled it.

Maybe I couldn’t handle it.

It’s hard to admit to others what you don’t admit to yourself.

Let’s hope I can find some love at the end of my life.

I got this from my driving instructor.

It’s just weed. It’s nothing scary.

I’ve asked him for a beer, and Stephen said yes.

Do you have to get all Woodstock just because you got your life back?

He said it puts you in a good mood. Maybe it would help your knee.

This is how you really zone out.

Can’t you do that at your place?

Your speakers are so good.

Stephen says that listening to music while you light up a joint

is really chill.

He says “chill” he’s a bit younger than me.

That’s fine. We’re both adults.

At least use the fan.

Any questions? Something you want to know?

The passports are in Hanna’s bag. Other questions?

Why does the car smell of pot? - It’s not pot, it’s weed.

Any questions about Grandpa?

I have to go to the airport with you because Grandpa is gay?

We knew. Didn’t you know?

I’ve thought about it, but you’re not gay until you say it yourself.

If you don’t have any questions, I won’t make a big deal out of it.

You make a big deal out of everything.

“Big deal” is your middle name.

Sigrid? Dad was really sorry.

You know that Iben is depressed and can’t handle too much noise.

Iben is a bitch! - Iben is sick.

If he wants to be with a sick hag instead of you,

I guess you’re the bitch.

Can I have an Oreo?

I understand that you’re disappointed,

but you don’t call your mother a bitch, Sigrid.

Sigrid!

I’m so sorry!

Are you stupid? She has a bad knee!

Are you brain damaged?

Take her and get those damn Oreos!

Take a deep breath and count down from ten

when I put the mask on you.

Lift your head.

Is that fine?

Count down from ten.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Hi! Just relax.

We don’t make any formal mistakes here.