All language subtitles for george_lopez_s06e09_joins_the_neighborhood

Hey, guys. Whoa, stop.

What do you got there?

Nothing.

Let me see.

That's your mom's lingerie catalog,
cochino.

It's for my social studies class.

I'm writing a paper about how women are
objectified in today's culture.

Really?

Can you give me the definition of the
word objectified?

I don't know, but neither do you.

Oh, no, Sasuke, I do.

Then use it in a sentence.

Okay. My son doesn't know the meaning of
the word objectified, therefore... Put

it back. Put it back! All right.

I'll see you in the recycling bin.

What's going on up there?

Mom said you guys are hosting a
neighborhood watch meeting.

Oh, man.

Look at these people eating my food,
drinking my soda.

I want these people in my house.

Oh, and Gidwani's here, too. I hate that
guy.

What did he do to you?

I borrowed his generator during the
blackout. I gave it back to him, but he

keeps saying that I didn't.

Um, didn't you sell a generator at your
garage sale?

All right. Hey, even if I did, it's his
fault for not coming to my garage sale.

I like my neighbors.

If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have
cable, bottled water, or a cute little

kitten.

George, come on. The meeting started.

Why are we having it here?

I told you. We're the neighborhood watch
captain.

Since when?

ago. Why do you think we've been walking
the neighborhood every night shining

flashlights into people's yards?

I thought we were looking for the lost
kitten.

By the way, I got a pretty good idea. I
know where it is.

Well, everyone, this is my husband,
George.

Where is Mike Tenderuta?

Okay, but now that I'm neighborhood
watch captain, I'll get to the bottom of

Let me describe it for you. It is big
and red, and it was in your garage.

Are you yelling at a watch captain?
Because I can have your yard rezoned as

dog park.

That'll make your barefoot Tai Chi an
adventure. You'll be like that.

Last item on the agenda.

Um, I know everyone with a child is
concerned about whether sexual predators

living in the neighborhood.

My police contact told me you can go
onto the Megan's Law website and it'll

you exactly where they live.

See?

Our neighborhood comes up and there are
no sexual offenders nearby.

Well, what's that?

That wasn't there yesterday.

Chris Watson, sex with a minor, 138M.

That's just up the street. I saw a
moving van there last weekend.

There's no picture on the website.

Does anybody know what this guy looks
like?

No.

So a sexual predator just moved into a
house that Max has to walk by every day

on his way to school?

All right, that's it.

I'm neighborhood watch captain. I say we
go confront this guy. Who's with me?

Wait. You're overreacting.

There is a better way to deal with this.
I am going to send Mr.

Watson a certified letter to let him
know we are aware of his presence.

And to show him we mean business, I say
we double our patrols.

Okay, let's double our patrols.

Why don't you just send him Max's
yearbook with a highlighter?

He can pick out the one he wants.

Okay, let's go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's going on?

We just found out a child molester lives
up the street.

I'll get my gun. Betty.

You're on probation. You can't have a
gun.

Relax. I'm not an idiot. It's not
registered to me.

Come on, let's go get this guy. Wait, I
want everyone to keep in mind, there are

laws. You can't just run around like a
bunch of vigilantes.

We're not vigilantes.

I'm a neighborhood watch co -captain.

And I'm making a call in the field.

Watch out.

You're all deputized.

We're the law now.

It's on!

You are doing.

Are you going to solve every problem in
the neighborhood with fear and

intimidation?

She's right.

Eventually, somebody's going to confront
us.

So after the molester, I said we get
that kid who races his minibike up and

the street.

I remember when I was little, these
streets were safe.

I could walk to the bar alone at last
call, help you off the floor, and roll

home in my little red wagon.

Yeah, that was back when a kid could be
a kid.

Here it is.

Lester! You know what you do!

Hey, man!

What's up,

George?

I always knew there was something creepy
about you Gutierrez.

We heard Chris Watson just moved in
here. That's right.

We know about your sick little games.

George, what are you doing here? It's
138L, not 183.

I'm sorry, my dyslexia.

We just found out there's a molester in
the neighborhood. We're going to scare

him out of here. You want in?

I got brownies in the oven, man.

I'll catch up with you guys.

Okay, we'll be across the street. Yeah,
I'll be right there, man. Hey, George,

that generator you sold me, man, works
great.

You're our thief.

He doesn't know what he's talking about,
man. He's fried.

Smell his house.

Whoa, that's my brownies.

Come on, everybody, there's a predator
at 813.

138.

I appeal to everyone to take a moment to
calm down so we don't do

anything rash.

Okay, I say after we finish with the
molester, we take care of little Mary

Sunshine here.

Blink if you're being held against your
will.

What's going on?

All right, you just blinked when you
said that, so I'm kind of confused. Are

in danger?

We're looking for Chris Watson.

That's me.

What? Really?

You know you're on a website as a sex
offender?

Yes, I registered because I just moved
here. I was going to go house to house

and talk to you all personally, but
since you were nice enough to form a mob

come visit me, I guess now is as good a
time as any.

It was five years ago.

I was a teacher, and I... I made a huge
mistake with a 15 -year -old boy that I

will regret for the rest of my life.

I served my time in prison and I'm still
dealing with things in therapy.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

All of

a sudden, no one's upset anymore.

It's okay because she's a woman and he's
a boy.

Am I the only one who finds this
disturbing?

Yeah, pretty much.

There he is!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Hey, where did you guys go? I thought we
were going to watch a game.

We found out a molester. Esther moved
into the neighborhood, but it turns out

that it was just a woman.

Stop saying she was just a woman.

She's a criminal, and she did a horrible
thing.

Of course she did.

She was hot, dude.

How can you be okay with this? She
victimized a 15 -year -old boy.

Hey, some call him a victim.

Sasuke, I call him fortunate.

Okay, if one of your teachers had done
something inappropriate to you?

As long as it was Ms. Blanco.

She was fine.

Ma 'am, Ms. Blanco. You ma 'am,
remember?

When we used to do math, I'd be like
that.

God, I was in love with her.

She must be about 60 now.

I think I'm going to go look her up in
the phone book.

had been a man and Carmen still lived at
home, you would be going crazy right

now. Look, it's different for guys.

Okay, look.

If the big bad wolf goes after Little
Red Riding Hood, it's bad. And it has to

be stopped.

But, if Mother Goose goes after Jack and
the Beanstalk, we know he wants it too,

so Southgate's all good.

That is a complete double standard.

It's one standard for men, one standard
for women.

That's two standards.

A double standard would be what I just
said, but twice.

Well, one thing's for sure. We're going
to have to warn Max about this woman.

And if you are not going to take it
seriously, I will.

You're just going to embarrass him,
okay?

I'll talk to him.

I want to be there. I'm his father,
okay? I will take care of this.

Max, have a seat.

Someone just moved into the neighborhood
that I want to warn you about, okay?

She's a criminal, and I want you to stay
away from her.

Wow, what'd she do?

She had sex with a boy your age.

And then she killed him?

No!

Look, having sex with an underage boy is
a crime.

Is she hot?

Let's just say I don't think her last
victim suffered.

Mom's worried, okay? So stay away from
her. Stay away from her. All right.

You can tell Mom she has nothing to
worry about.

Girls my age aren't even into me.

What's going on there?

Laura Ortiz wouldn't kiss me, and the
bottle pointed right at me.

She's funny. She has to kiss me. That's
the rule.

All right, take it easy, man. Relax.

Don't get down on yourself.

Laura Ortiz is a little girl who doesn't
know what she's doing.

Yeah, but I don't know what I'm doing
either.

All right.

Look, I'm going to tell you a secret
that will help you with women.

It's all about confidence.

Okay, be bold.

They love it.

Really? Yep. Hey, and don't be afraid to
be rejected.

Act like you want them, and they'll want
you.

Does that really work?

Yeah, look, and if you're like me,
you'll be chasing women who are way out

your league.

And then one day, you're going to run
into one who's having a bad day, and

going to do something that she regrets.

That's where you come in.

They're pictures of the molester. I
passed them out last week, but a couple

the parents were out of town, so I
wanted to make sure they got one.

Oh.

Your mugshot's way better than mine.

Well, you shouldn't have resisted a rant
that Taser made your hair all frizzy.

Hello?

What?

He sure was Max.

Oh, man, I'll be right down.

What is it? That was Gutierrez. He saw
Max going into Watson's backyard.

The Predator? I thought you warned him
about her. I did.

Hey, Angie, you want to take my gun?

Are you crazy?

It's registered in your name. You might
as well...

Get away from my son.

He came over here on his own. He threw a
ball over my fence and said he had to

go in the backyard to get it.

Then why was his shirt off?

Because after I let him in, he took it
off and said, what happens down the

stays down the block.

That is ridiculous. My son would never
do something like that. You tricked him

into your yard.

If I tricked him, then why did he show
me a condom?

Hand it over.

No glove, no love, Van Buren high, go
Panthers.

It was your idea to come over here?

Yeah.

What were you thinking, Max? You could
have got her put in jail.

We're really sorry about this. Could you
please just take your son home? I

really don't need the neighbors thinking
I'm trying to lure young boys over

here.

to look young for her no golly you don't
know what i do on the weekends so i was

scared we grew apart man you got all old
hairy and had a family i stayed all

young extreme and smooth look

it's

not you okay you're a great guy look at
me somewhere out there

can't do this you just got shot down by
a sex offender later

bro be in my

room what are the jailbait i don't think
so

we need to talk i don't want to talk
about this in front of mom oh so now

all shy in front of older women

to make a point to the boy.

Do you realize how wrong and stupid that
was?

Well, dad told me I had to be bold and
confident to get a woman.

That's what you told him? I was talking
about girls his age. Come on, let's

focus on the boy. This isn't time to be
pointing fingers at each other.

And then I found out how hot the lady
was because I saw the flyer mom made.

Oh, smart peddler.

But you made it seem like it wasn't that
big a deal.

Well, look, I didn't think it was until
I saw you coming to that woman's place

without your shirt on.

It's a double standard, Max, okay? It's
a huge deal for a girl or a boy.

I was wrong.

And this would have messed you up
emotionally. Being with a woman that

Would have screwed with your head when
you were trying to have a normal

relationship.

Okay. I was wrong. I won't do it again.
Are we done?

Not yet.

Angie, I need to talk to Max.

The last time you talked to our son, he
went all Chippendale down the street.

I know what I'm dealing with now.

Mac, your brain is at war with another
part of your body.

I get it, Dad.

No, Max, you don't.

This part of your body will lie to you.

It'll trick you, and it'll make you
believe you're in love with Sonia Garcia

just because she went to gym class
without a bra and was running laps.

You can never let your guard down.

Here's the bottom line.

This isn't going to go away.

So wait till you're older and find
somebody that you really care about.

Is it okay if I care about anyone I can
get?

Are you listening to me, man? No, they
have to be special.

But what if I can't find anyone and I
end up like Ernie?

Things have to go wrong before you end
up like Ernie.

Right. Maybe this is the wrong way to
look at it.

But Ernie would have never gotten into
that woman's house.

What are you telling him?

No, no, no. You missed the middle part
with all the lessons.

All right.

I'll take care of it. Max.

Go in the living room. I want you to
watch this video from the church called

Waiting Can Be Wonderful.

We are really going to have to stay on
top of this.

Well, it can be done. I mean, I waited
till I was 18.

George, please.

You didn't have any other option.

Yeah, well, you ended up with me, so
who's the loser?