Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without a...

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Do you think I have to learn how to cook first?

Not necessarily, Mom. You wrote an article about Eskimo mating rituals, and

never... Bad example.

No, Mom, I'm really jealous.

Since we've seen them last, they've been to Alaska, Russia, China, Tibet.

What's our next trip gonna be?

Well, in June, your cousin Harold's getting married in Pittsburgh.

Wow, we better get our passports ready.

Well, the projector's set up.

Where are the slides, Julia?

I'll get them. They're in my bag.

Boy, Alex is going to be so excited when he comes home and finds you here.

Excited or panicked?

You know, Alex was intimidated by you when he was younger, but I'm sure he's

over that by now.

Who are you kidding?

I bet he's still terrified of her.

Oh, who are we supposed to be doing dishes tonight?

Alex.

Who's on backup?

Valerie.

Oh, we have two winners tonight, Jennifer and Valerie.

So where's Alex? Why isn't he home yet?

I have to be honest, Carrie. I don't usually worry about that sort of thing.

I see you two are as close as ever.

Carrie, I've never understood why you're attracted to him.

Neither have I. That's the beauty of it.

What do you possibly see in him?

Well, for one thing, I like the fact that I can beat him up.

We all do.

Boy, I love it when Carrie and her mom are here.

It's like my dinner with Andre.

With who?

It's a movie.

Oh.

Alex, where have you been? You missed dinner.

I just spent two hours arguing with Dr. Schulte about the school dress code.

Our school doesn't have a dress code.

It does now.

I wouldn't wear that to school tomorrow if I were you.

You really think you're hot stuff, huh, Alex?

Pretty hot, yeah.

You're sitting on top of the world, aren't you?

You bet.

Remember Carrie Newman?

Uh, Carrie Newman?

Yeah, what does she have to do with anything?

She's in the living room.

Uh, Carrie Newman is in this house now?

Oh, my God.

He's so cute when he falls apart.

Since you two are kids, she's had you running around in circles. I love it.

Come on, Jennifer, let's get the rest of the dishes.

Don't leave me.

Uh, all right.

All right, don't panic.

You're older now.

You're more mature.

You can handle this.

I gotta get out of here.

Hi, Alan.

Carrie!

I was just coming in.

You always enter a room backwards?

I'm breaking in a new pair of shoes.

Uh, you look great, Carrie.

It's quite an outfit.

Thanks. I found it in a flea market in Brazil.

Belonged to an Amazon woman who had many male slaves.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Oh, thanks. Uh, JCPenney, Toledo.

Never worn by anyone else.

Uh, Carrie, now don't try anything, okay?

My parents are in the next room.

Take it easy, Alex. All I want is a friendly hello hug.

How about a friendly hello wave?

Mom.

You don't hug easy, Alex.

So, uh, how long are you and your mom in town for this time?

Overnight? A couple of days. We're back for good. Oh.

Julia took a job as regional correspondent for Newsweek.

We're staying with you until our house is ready.

Huh.

Alex, you're hyperventilating.

There's nothing hyper about this ventilating.

It's good to see you, Alex.

Old friends are special friends.

It's good to see you, too, Carrie.

You know, Alex... The last time I saw you, you were wearing a blonde wig and

pinafore.

That whole thing was your idea.

Remember, you wanted to paint my picture.

Alex in Wonderland.

What do you say we go out tomorrow night?

Out of the question.

Carrie, it is the man's responsibility to make the advance today, and it's the

woman's duty to fight him off.

Anyway, if we were to go out, I should be the one to ask.

Okay, ask.

Don't ask if you're telling me to ask.

I mean, that's the same as you asking me.

I am the man. I call the shots.

Mom.

Oh, yeah, they are.

Four years old, Carrie and Alex taking a bath.

Can we speed it up a little, please?

Let's give everyone a chance to study the slide, Alex.

This isn't film school, Dad.

Wasn't Alex adorable?

He looked so round and soft and cuddly.

Like a gerbil.

Sorry,

last line. Well, those were great.

Thanks, Julia.

You're welcome. Carrie developed a lot of the recent ones herself.

I've got a darkroom in the house.

I bet you do.

Hi. Yeah, sure.

Victor!

Can I come in and meet some of my friends?

No. I mean, I can't. My motor's running.

Yeah, I can see that.

Victor, it's so nice to see you.

Well, see you all later.

Have a good time.

Nice almost meeting you.

Yeah. Sure.

Wow, Victor's a real hunk. Where'd she meet him?

We used to live next door to his parole officer.

Parole officer?

Mrs. Newman, how can you let her go out with a guy like that?

I trust Carrie.

I am opposed to this date.

I just want to say, for the record, that I am opposed to this.

So recorded.

Now, this whole thing is my fault. I mean, if I had gone out with Carrie like

she asked me to, she wouldn't have to go out with societal dregs.

You're dying to go out with her, but you don't have the guts to do it.

No, no, no, that's where you're wrong.

I'm going to ask her out, but not because I want to. I'll do it because

calls me.

I owe it to Carrie to save her from herself.

I've got to be strong for both of us.

Gee, the ship that has lost her way in the night, and I'm her lighthouse.

I've got to show her the way. And if I succeed, we'll both be better human

beings and better citizens.

Sounds like a fun date.

Alex, I thought you went to bed hours ago.

Where could she be?

I'm telling you, Carrie is headed for trouble.

Someone has got to show her how a proper young lady should act.

Let me guess what that someone should be.

I have got a whole date planned.

It's going to be a very wholesome evening.

I thought we'd start with a quick trip through the art museum.

Good choice. You're having a wonderful exhibit on the Renaissance nude.

Probably wouldn't have been time anyway.

Oh, okay, okay. First, we'll go to the Red Cross, donate blood.

Then, uh, I figured we'd tail the bookmobile for a while.

If time permits, we'll go to the orphanage, pass out lollipops.

Alex, you don't go to any of these places.

Well, I'm not doing this for me, Mom.

I'm doing this for Carrie.

Why don't you just admit that you want to go out with her because you like her?

Like her?

Mom, I am doing this because I'm her friend.

I am not romantically attracted to her at all.

Attraction there.

Well, it's late.

I think maybe we should all be going up now, don't you?

Come on, Elise.

They don't need ushers.

Kids.

Why did you wait up for me, Alex?

Oh, I didn't wait up.

I'm always up at this hour. I happen to be...

Something of a night owl. I move by the rhythms of the night.

Where have you been?

Dancing. There are no dance clubs open at this hour. Streets are open. The

are open.

If you want to dance, you can dance wherever you are.

Even in the kitchen.

Okay, you can lead.

Hey, Carrie, Carrie, I don't want to dance. I want to talk.

We can dance and talk at the same time.

No, not me. I'd have to dance, talk, and nothing count.

Okay, Alex, what is it?

Uh, Carrie, I'd like to offer you a unique experience with me that will

your life.

I like a man with confidence.

Uh, uh, Carrie?

I think that you and I should go out.

Great. It's a little late, but what the hell, let's go.

Oh, no, no, no, not now. Tomorrow night.

Oh, okay. I'm free tomorrow night. You know, it would be really wild. Wait a

minute, Carrie.

Carrie, I am planning the state.

I decide what we do and when we do it and how much we enjoy it.

All you have to do is be ready when I pick you up.

Okay. Which room do you want to pick me up in?

Right, I forgot.

We're staying in the same house.

In the next room.

Well, I better rest up for tomorrow night.

Good night, Alex.

Unique experience that will change my life.

I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep now.

Come on, Mallory, will you get out of the bathroom already?

You've been in there for the better part of the century.

Next time, I'll just take a sponge bath.

Uh, Dad, I didn't know you were in there. I told Mallory to let me know as

as she came out.

I gotta have a shower before my date. What time are you going out?

Eight o 'clock.

Just under three hours.

You hurry, you'll make it.

Oh, hey, the shower curtain was closed and the water was running. How could you

tell?

My mind must have been somewhere else.

Go ahead. Finish your shower.

I'm too tense now.

I might drown.

I'll tell you what.

We can take one together and then I can save you if you start to drown.

Okay, Carrie, please. Will you just go in and take your shower?

I'd like to be alone right now.

Okay, okay.

By the way, don't bother to change. You look great.

to call my brownie troop?

Why not?

Why not? I have no dignity left.

You don't start out with much.

Alex!

I forgot to give you your robe.

Uh, yeah.

It's my robe, all right.

Alex, I'm shocked.

the world's most wholesome date to me.

Oh.

Hey,

this

is quite a place.

Don't you think?

your customer, Alex.

Uh, this is Carrie.

Oh, wow!

Sherry and Carrie.

Isn't that cute? Our names almost rhyme.

It's staggering.

Imagine the odds.

So, what will the gang be having?

Uh, two apple pie and two glasses of milk.

No, wait. Actually, make that...

One glass of milk, two straws.

I hope I'm not being too forward.

You can't.

I'll be right back.

Don't miss me.

We won't.

You know, it's really nice to be here with you, Carrie.

Thank you.

It's nice to be with you, Alex.

I was kind of hoping we could go somewhere with...

A little more ambiance.

More romantic.

More intimate.

Maybe some candlelight.

Ah, there's candlelight right over there.

Alex, would you say that I've been a pretty good sport tonight?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I guess so.

Did I complain when you took me to the bingo finals at the senior citizens'

home?

No. Did I complain when we went to the immigration center to watch new citizens

being sworn in?

No. Alex, let's get out of here.

Come on. We could go skydiving or horseback riding or dancing.

I know a great club with a really hot band.

I want to get crazy with you, Alex. Don't you want to get crazy with me?

I mean, no, no, no, we can't.

because it defeats the whole purpose of this night.

We can have fun without having fun.

Alex, you can't tell me this is a normal date for you. The purpose of tonight

was not to have a normal date.

Well, you've succeeded there.

This is not the Alex that I wanted to go out with.

My Alex made me laugh.

He made me feel special.

And I can make him laugh and feel special.

That Alex has no place here.

I'm here instead.

Carrie, I'm worried about you.

What are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about the way you act.

The way you dress. The way you talk.

You don't act like a girl should act. You should be more like... Sherry?

What is wrong with Sherry?

You put a brain in that head, you got a real special girl.

So that's what tonight was all about? You were trying to show me how to be a

good little girl?

Carrie, you've got to settle down before you do some damage.

I just want you to have some pride, some self -respect.

I just want you to see that there are other options.

You're right.

There are other options.

And I'm going to exercise one of them right now.

See you around, Alex.

Hi, Alex.

Hi.

Up kind of late, aren't you?

To be honest, I'm waiting up for Mallory.

I know it's old -fashioned, but every time she goes out with a new boy, I

help worrying a little.

I didn't know that.

That's because I usually worry upstairs.

There's a lot more to worry about with girls than with boys, isn't there?

Not more worries, just different ones.

But you would say that a girl has to be more careful than a guy.

You know, worry more about her reputation, her demeanor, the way she

public.

Where's Carrie?

She walked out on me.

All I was trying to do was help her, and that's the thanks I get.

Maybe she didn't want to be helped.

Maybe she's happy the way she is.

Well, maybe she's happy with it, but I'm not.

I guess that's the real problem, isn't it?

Mm -hmm.

Why am I driving myself crazy?

I mean, she's not going to change.

Not likely.

I guess I better just forget about her, huh?

That would solve the problem.

Yeah.

You're right. It would.

Thanks, Dad. Good night.

Good night, Alex.

Why do I have to be the one to change?

Because you want to be with her.

You know what I feel like when Carrie and I are together?

I feel like an astronaut who never went through the training program.

I'm out there in some other world, and I don't even know how to fly the ship.

Well, then, uh, you were lucky to be with someone who does.

Yeah.

I guess you're right, I am lucky.

It's pretty amazing out there.

I know.

I married an astronaut myself.

Uh, Dad, if, uh, boys and girls are supposed to be treated the same, how

you're waiting on for Mallory?

Because you're already home.

Uh, well, uh, I think I'll finish my waiting upstairs.

Just want to say right off, I don't know why I came back.

I think I do.

You wanted to tell me what a jerk I was, how rude I was, how obnoxious,

presumptuous, manipulative.

Keep going. I think you're on the door.

Carrie, I am sorry.

Boys, this evening really backfired.

I wanted to reform you, to turn you into a real lady, and instead... Instead

what?

I think maybe you already are a lady.

It's just that you're a different kind of lady from the kind of lady that I

think about when I think about the word lady.

Alex, what if I decided to become the good little girl you want me to be?

Do you really think either of us would be happy with that?

I don't know.

Carrie, we're so different.

Why do we like each other so much? Because we are so different.

Because we see in each other something we don't see in ourselves.

That's what it's always been about, Alex.

What are we going to do?

What do we want to do?

I'm glad I asked.

Will you go out with me tonight?

I already did.

No, no, no. I mean, again, it's still early.

I know a real romantic place.

Great ambiance.

Sounds nice.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.