Original subtitles

Come in.

Sit down.

I've been informed of your wish

to take leave of our holy community.

Just for the weekend, Reverend Father.

Of course, but if I'm not mistaken,

it's for a family party.

Yes, that's right.

You see, I must go home, Reverend Father.

It's a Remington family tradition.

My aunts, Victoria and Elizabeth,

are going to have their birthday this Friday.

There's the occasion for a family reunion.

Otherwise, a very rare event.

May I add, Reverend Father,

my two aunts are very pious women.

I'm quite aware of their reputation.

Why, that reputation has even penetrated

the walls of the Vatican.

But...there is a "but."

Remember, Brother Percival,

that this annual escapade of yours

is completely against our rules.

If such an irregularity were not turned in our favor...

I...

I'm afraid I don't follow you.

It's quite simple, actually.

Your aunts are

extremely rich

and quite old.

It seems that the rest of the clan

is financially well off.

However, their moral character

is not free of certain weaknesses.

Quite difficult for us to forgive.

Would you like us to go into detail?

Reverend Father!

There's your cousin, Harvey.

He's general director of the Gold Gun Arms factories.

His activities hardly advance world peace!

And there's your Uncle Frederick.

He's in industrial pharmaceuticals.

Condoms and other birth control devices

make up the largest part of their production.

This, in spite of the extremely firm position of the Pope,

and Erika with her modeling agency and fashion magazine.

She makes the best of her positions to satisfy

her lesbian taste for young models,

who are all too willing and ready to do anything to succeed.

Shall I continue?

No. I think not.

I don't think I could!

Apart from your aunts, who are admittedly saintly women,

the rest of the clan reminds me of Sodom and Gomorrah!

I ask you, Brother Percival,

not as a Remington, but as a priest,

would God want such a considerable sum of money

winding up in the hands of that flock of black sheep?

You can easily convince them that our brotherhood

and its work with the young are most deserving.

You'll have the distinct advantage of reminding them

how we can intercede, on their behalf,

to assure an equally rich reward in Heaven.

I'm sure it's possible, Reverend Father.

I was hoping that I might find chance to persuade.

Go right ahead and do so, Brother Percival.

I'm happy to see

that you are aware of your duty,

and that of your aunts,

towards our holy community.

Go in peace.

Here we are, m'ladies.

After having lived here

for 92 years,

don't you think we can't recognize our own village?

Of course, m'lady.

Excuse me, m'lady.

Go refresh yourself at the pub, my trusted friend.

We shall be at least one hour.

But don't drink too much!

Yes, m'lady.

Well?

Get a move on!

Or we shall be late for tea!

Alice!

Alice!

Never around when I want her!

Alice!

Saints preserve us, where have you been this time?

I'm doing me best, ma'am.

Then sit down and do your best

helping me pluck these pheasants!

Yes, ma'am.

- Mrs. Barnstable? - What now, girl?

Is it true what they say in the village?

What do they say in the village?

Well, that the family is only after our mistress's money.

- And who said that? - Well, the owner of the pub.

- He heard it from Father Henry. - That's rich, that is!

We can thank that old goat, Father Henry, again.

He's crazy and...

Mad.

Keep plucking, girl!

At least in this mansion, we're down to earth.

At least in my kitchen! Just look at the time.

Still have to prepare the salmon souffles,

steam the lobsters,

stuff the pheasants and set the table.

So keep your questions until later, please!

All right, girl.

I suppose we can talk and work at the same time.

The whole bloody family is after the money!

The darling old girls are blind as a bat.

And worst of all, there's not one worth it.

Do you hear me, Alice? Not one.

All of them!

Parasites.

Hypocrites!

Be very careful of those people, Alice.

They look good, sound good and they're respected everywhere,

but that family is like a stillborn calf.

Soft and smooth on the surface,

but underneath,

nothing but maggot-infested rotting flesh!

You know, with these engine problems,

I hope we don't get there last.

Why? It's not a race.

But that's just it. It is a race!

Really?

Yes, really! Damn it!

Do you think I'd go to this geriatric birthday party

just to hold their wrinkled, trembling old hands?

Do you have any idea how many bloody problems

I'm having at my factories?

That fire last week.

Two tons of rubbers gone up in smoke.

Do you know how much that cost me?

And the pollution.

When plastic burns, it pollutes! It stinks.

Those mad ecologists have been on my ass

for three weeks now!

And it's just begun!

Where's the connection with your aunts?

Ah! You can't see the connection.

I'll tell you the connection.

If those two old crows would finally die

and leave me just one third of their fortune,

nobody could touch me.

I'd build up the company and corner the market.

I'd crush the Germans and the Americans

with their silly French ticklers.

As for the ecologists? Up theirs!

But in this race, I've got 10 others from the family

after the same trophy!

It's so touching to hear how much you love your family.

Wait 'til you meet 'em. You'll understand.

But darling, I understand.

I'm sure I'll love your aunties.

By the way.

Does the family know you've remarried?

Did you think I was gonna show up

with a girl 30 years younger

and simply say to those human hemorrhoids,

"She's number two, a nightclub singer.

A would-be opera star.

Let good old Fred have his final fling"?

Well, just what did you say?

Hah! I told 'em a story, all right.

You're to sing next year at Lascala.

From nightclubs to Lascala. What a conceit.

If I told them where you really worked,

holy hell, we'd be disowned, disinherited, disemboweled.

If they could get their precious Percival to do it.

So understanding.

Your dear, dear aunties.

I know, but try and be nice and act distinguished,

because I'm telling you, I haven't won yet!

Damn. Twenty past four already.

Watch out!

Roadhog!

It's not yours! Give it to me!

All right, you two. That's enough!

Well, that's done!

Otherwise, we'd have to walk there.

Now what?

- He took my cookie! - I took just one!

But darling, such a fuss for a cookie.

You must learn to share with others.

Why don't Aunt Victoria

and Elizabeth share with us?

Oh, it's not the same thing, my dear.

They'll share what they have when they die!

Okay, Mommy.

I'll share my cookies with him only when I'm dead.

That's enough!

Quiet, you two!

Give me those cookies, now!

Children, unbelievable.

Islam needs you!

Down with American imperialism!

Revenge your dead! Take up arms, but not just any gun.

Our J32 was inspired by Allah,

so it's easier to use and effective.

One blast can wipe out 20 infidels, or your money back.

Can you find better?

The J32 from Gold Gun Industries, at the service of Allah!

Not bad.

At the moment, I only have the Islamic version.

Next week, I'll have the Russian and the Chinese versions.

Right.

I'm expected at a family party this evening.

And I'm already running late.

What's my schedule for Monday?

You have an appointment with our Central American friends

at 11 a.m.

They want to see the 127 in action.

Damn. I won't have time to get back here.

I thought about that.

I put a 127 in the trunk of your car,

with a few rounds of ammunition.

Good weekend, my friend.

If it is good, in about a year or two,

we can start building tanks, heavy cannons, maybe jets.

And then a nice third World War.

Stop dreaming, Michael.

Let's not ask for too much. That could backfire.

Give the video author a raise for being unscrupulous.

Bertha, I forbid you to go.

- Mommy, I must. - No, you mustn't go.

You must stay here, near your mother!

I don't feel well, I'm going to die.

Oh, for 20 years you've been saying that

every time I leave the house for two days.

You're all right. I'm sorry, I'm expected soon!

All right, go! Leave me.

Let me die like an animal!

I may not get there first,

but they'll appreciate the effort I made

with this old thing.

Ah.

There she is. Bertha.

The family virgin.

Now, we'll have a laugh.

If she arrives.

Yee-hah!

Get a move on, girl! They'll be here soon!

I'm doing me best, ma'am.

These woods we've been passing through

for the past 10 minutes are part of my aunts' estates.

Their mansion house isn't even in sight yet.

Do you think they could leave you everything?

All that?

If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be here.

Where would you be?

Home.

In bed.

With you.

That's nice, but how are you going

to explain me to your aunts?

You're my new collaborator.

You write for my magazine.

Don't worry, it'll be all right.

Victoria and Elizabeth are very old and very naive.

For the rest, they know my taste in sex,

and they'll try to upset you.

Let it go in one ear and out the other.

Oh, easy.

Hey, listen!

We're not here to enjoy ourselves.

Okay?

Don't forget it.

Mm-hm.

Hey!

There's my dear cousin Fred's new wife.

Not bad.

She must have caused that old toad a bundle.

Interested in her?

If you feel like buying her, wait for the heritage.

Don't be bitchy.

You know I'm only here for business.

Besides, you'll have all you need to enjoy yourself, angel.

Is everything ready, Radu?

Certainly, m'lady.

Good.

It's so important

the family be received in the finest manner.

They're so nice.

If m'lady says so.

Hm.

Hell! He's all we need.

- What's wrong? - That imbecile.

Stuck up little prick! Just wait!

The bastard!

The little shit!

What's going on?

Same as every other year.

It's my young cousin, Roger.

A conceited, useless idiot

who's gone through his mother's fortune in just 10 years.

He's here to hopefully fill up his bank account.

Mrs. Barnstable! They're here!

I know it, girl!

Just wait and see when I kill that jet-set jerk!

Good day.

Hey, you little idiot! You driving for gangsters these days?

Why, it was you, Uncle Fred. I didn't recognize you.

You've grown old.

However, your newest wife?

Very nice, indeed.

Cousin Erika. I'm so pleased to see you again.

Uh-huh. You lie as poorly as you make love.

About the lying, I know. I've been told often.

For the rest, what would you know?

You're not going to introduce me?

Rachel, this is Roger Harris.

A Remington, only by his mother.

I'm enchanted, Rachel.

Are you cousin Erika's, uh...new collaborator?

Yes, that's right.

And it works, this, um, collaboration?

Yes. Well, we've only just begun.

Yes, I see.

Well, you know, this kind of collaboration is always

the hardest in the beginning.

Afterwards, you'll get used to it.

Jesus Christ!

It's about time your mistresses installed

some electricity in the halls.

After all, it's not the Middle Ages.

The bedrooms have sun, sir.

At least we won't break our necks getting into bed.

Here.

Your room, sir.

Well, well.

Cousin Bertha.

Exercising?

- Not too disappointed? - With what?

Well, not having a connecting room with Erika.

It'll be quite difficult to...

collaborate tonight.

I was warned about this family

and the sarcasm I'd have to suffer.

You're getting very boring.

Hang on, old girl.

I promise I'll find something new quite soon.

We'll see.

Here's your room, miss.

If you require anything,

there is a bell cord by your bed.

For you, sir, it's the room at the end of the corridor.

As usual.

Permit me to inform you

that drinks will be served in the small saloon in one hour.

Okay, Radu. Thanks.

"Okay, Radu. Thanks."

What an age.

Will you be ready soon?

Yes.

Soon.

Are you changing?

God damn it!

It's been 20 years since I refused

to put on a fucking monkey suit

and I'm not gonna start now!

You're not going to act stupid tonight.

Listen, you!

Did I comment when you burned your nagging face

with your overpriced hair curler?

They should all be here by now.

It's that parasite of a priest.

Aren't you ready?

Oh, it's you.

Can I come in?

If you insist.

Does it amuse you, watching me do that?

I find you very beautiful.

Oh, very original.

I see banality is quite normal for you.

You know what I'm thinking about?

No, but I've got a terrible feeling

that you're going to tell me.

Well, if I did manage to get hold of that inheritance,

I'd like to buy you from Erika for a good price.

You don't like hearing the truth?

I don't like hearing it from total strangers.

Total strangers?

It all depends on you if we remain so.

It all depends on me?

Yes.

Well, there's no danger of our relationship

taking off for a long time.

You really hate men?

I don't see any men here.

I can only see a poor excuse for a man

who thinks he's Robert Redford.

All right.

Now, it's my turn.

So you're trying to survive, but I think you want a man.

You can't admit it.

You're no spinster.

Stop being so aggressive.

Come on, now.

Relax a little.

In these secular times, my dear aunt,

our holy community finds it difficult just to survive.

How we continue to educate our boys!

I was a teacher, too, Percival,

and I know how much you love children,

so I thought I'd sit you by them.

They all at the table.

Mrs. Barnstable.

Not a bit too soon, either.

Alice! Help Radu with the lobsters.

Yes, ma'am.

The one about the husband!

Who's impotent!

He goes... he goes to his doctor...

And he...he...

Did I tell you that one?

How about the one about the young lady

who just wanted to eat her lobster in peace?

Did I tell you that one?

All the same, Harvey.

I'll never understand how you can do the job you do.

Selling all those arms, which will kill so many innocents.

That's immoral.

Honestly, Auntie. Am I wrong?

Dear, gentle Helen, I do agree.

Harvey, my boy.

Yours is a horrible business!

Yes, Harvey.

Helen has a strong point.

Profiting from such an enterprise.

Why, Aunt Elizabeth.

On the contrary.

My very strong sense of moral duty

compelled me to be a part of Gold Gun.

I certainly can't follow that.

It's quite simple.

Our products help in the struggle

against communist expansion in the world.

In that way, I'm certainly pleasing God.

I never looked at it that way before.

What do you say, Percival?

Since it is to kill communists...

Like I always say, it's all in the mind.

I think the old proverb says it best.

"With a pure heart,

all is pure."

I feel so reassured!

I was beginning to doubt you, my boy.

Oh, Auntie Victoria.

Only senility could explain that degree of gullibility.

We're leaving first thing in the morning.

Be ready.

Or I swear I'll leave without you.

What's with you?

I thought we were staying the weekend.

I didn't bring you here to get all excited

over that horny, tight-pants stud.

So now all that's over, we leave tomorrow.

Well, well, cousin.

Conjugal problems?

Boring bastard.

Stop that.

If you please.

I'm warning you, I'm going to get angry!

All right! You've asked for it!

What's happening, Percival?

Nothing, Aunt Victoria.

I'm just showing the child how to use a fork properly.

He's a dear little fellow.

How's it going out there?

If I dare to say,

painfully.

What now? Who can that be at such an hour?

Alice, go and see!

Me?

Why me?

And why not you?

I dunno.

It's pitch black out there!

And it's far to the gate.

And I'd have to go through those creepy bushes!

You silly little twit!

And just who do you think you're going to meet at the gate?

The devil?

Get a move on, girl!

You're too old to be talking that way.

Besides, I need Radu to serve the pheasant.

Move it!

Yes, ma'am.

Youngsters!

Damnation.

This is private property, madam.

What can we do for you?

Open this gate.

I can't, madam.

Open

this gate.

Ah.

That's better.

I don't like talking through bars.

But would you be so kind as to give them this,

and to wish them the best birthday of their lives?

They're all so little.

They shall be given this very evening, madam.

I'm counting on that.

Good evening.

Good evening.

So you opened up for her

without knowing what she wanted first?

That's great.

This place is really safe.

A pity NATO doesn't put you on guard at the Berlin wall.

Defecting would be so much easier.

But she only stayed a minute.

She left this for our mistresses.

What is it? A time bomb?

I don't know!

It's a very successful evening.

I don't regret having married Fred.

What's wrong?

Why are you looking at me like that?

I know you were merely joking, my darling,

but it might not be evident to the others.

We were a bit confused, old boy.

Roguish tricks are sisters to beauty, they say.

I understand perfectly well the roguish antics

of your beautiful, young wife.

And anyway, black humor is so...

British.

Just the right word!

And Jessica practices ice cold humor!

Aww.

I dunno what you're up to,

but if all it is to get her in your bed,

I'll warn you now.

She hasn't had enough to drink yet.

You little whore.

My children!

Isn't it exciting?

A stranger has brought this package

and a letter, just for us.

Neither of us has a clue as to who sent it.

It's quite unexpected.

Most likely, it's another one after the profits.

It's sickening!

Sickening is the word.

- Yes. - Now, tell us the truth!

It's one of you who's behind all this.

In any case, it's deplorable that he or she

hasn't made themselves known.

Aunt Elizabeth.

Does this person suffer from the light of day? I ask you.

That's right, Auntie.

When you really love someone,

you come to see them, like we have.

There's also an envelope.

Open it and let's get this over with.

Well, perhaps it is time to open up our presents!

That's right! Bring on the presents!

And we can keep the package 'til the end.

It'll add to the surprise!

Good idea, Bertha.

Radu?

Would you bring the presents, if you please?

Yes, m'lady.

My dear children.

You are so generous.

For us,

it's...

Such happiness.

Yes.

Such happiness.

Here's to another 20 years!

God help us.

With God's will and...

we love you all so much.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Don't overdo it.

Do you think this is too much?

And the anonymous package?

We'll never know what's in it.

Now, I'm going to read it.

"Dear Aunties.

I am aware my presence is not desired this evening.

However, in my absence, let my humble gift congratulate you.

It's very old and full of surprises

I wish I could be there to witness.

I accept I have been written out of your will.

I only ask forgiveness

and a little refound friendship.

I send my deep affection.

Love, Christopher."

Oh, Elizabeth.

How he's changed.

Changed?

Christopher?

Oh, please!

You may as well expect a vulture to become a vegetarian.

Frankly, Aunt Victoria, Christopher may be our relative,

but he deserves only one thing.

Condemnation!

Percival was right about that horrible man.

Just think what he's done!

We should have a...

Shut up, Bertha!

That evil boy doesn't deserve our pity!

Such sacrileges he committed.

To put him back in the will would be a big mistake!

I'm sorry, but we must be firm and unmoving,

or we sacrifice our own moral values!

All our values, in short.

We must all remember our blessed Lord's example.

All his life, he practiced forgiveness!

What's Christopher done that you all hate him so?

You'd better ask what he hasn't done.

He once belonged to a satanic sect.

Actually became the head priest of it.

He was really the black sheep of the family.

One foul night, he and his ghoulish group

broke into a cemetery in a London suburb.

They were celebrating a black mass.

Until the police arrived.

He got 10 months.

Well, we could at least open the package!

Oh.

It's lovely!

If this is his peace offering,

he must be sincere.

You're right, my dear.

We should be thankful for such a change.

Oh, no. Don't even think about it.

The birthday cake!

We forgot the cake!

Oh, here it is!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

Blow and make a wish! ♪ To you ♪

A wish! A wish!

A Wish! A Wish!

A Wish! A Wish!

A Wish!

And now, Jessica is going to sing your favorite song.

I propose a toast, for the hundredth time this night.

With all our hearts,

a happy, happy birthday to our dear aunts,

who we always have in mind.

Well, now, what a storm!

Our weekend is complete.

Radu, could you go to the stables

and check if the animals are not too nervous?

A wise precaution.

Alice!

Close the windows in all the rooms and bring in the wash!

Yes, ma'am.

Maybe we could eat the ice cream now.

Oh, good idea. We'll need a knife.

Radu!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu, Radu!

I've got to go to the toilet.

Well, go on, then, but hurry! We're going to eat dessert.

A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

Radu! A knife for the cake!

But where is he?

We'll never get the cake cut.

Here, girl.

Take this knife up to them,

then hopefully they'll stop all that noise.

Saints preserve us. What a family!

I wonder if any other surprises are in store for this night.

That's smashing!

Holy shit!

Just listen to that uproar.

At least they're enjoying themselves this year.

Blasted thing!

That doesn't sound good.

My God, Radu!

The lobster must have been fresh!

M'lady has terrible indigestion!

No way out here. We'd break our necks.

Anyway.

They won't get in here.

That thing weighs a ton.

I hope so.

Did you see the strength they possess?

Listen, lesbian! Shut the hell up!

Don't try to scare us more than we are already!

You listen.

Who pushed that enormous thing in front of the door,

while you looked out of the window?

Me, the lesbian.

So you can shove it.

Let's all try to stay calm.

If we want to get through the night alive,

we must help each other.

John.

Please.

Excuse me, Rachel.

I got carried away.

I'm really sorry for your...

I mean, what happened to Erika.

That's all right.

It was too quick for her to have suffered much.

- Do you think it's them? - I don't know!

- Who's there? - It's me!

Father Percival!

For pity's sake, open the door!

Wait!

Are they after you?

I don't know! Open, for God's sake!

Are you sure you're alone out there?

Make sure, damn it!

You damn fool!

Do you think I could answer your questions

if they were here?

Open up!

All right, John!

You've asked him enough! He's our flesh and blood!

Let him in!

Come in!

Thank you, Helen!

As for you.

I'll never absolve you for such behavior!

If you try to confess this,

you can stick all that penance cattle up your bum!

I say!

There's a child present.

I'm sorry.

Can't you shut up for five minutes?

You're getting on everyone's nerves.

It can't be.

- It's not possible! - What's not possible?

All of this mess.

Those transformations, the possessions.

It's absurd! We're victims of collective hallucination.

That's it! A collective hallucination.

Those things just don't exist.

Do you hear me? It's just our imagination.

They are not real and I'm going out to prove it. Now.

They don't exist.

They exist.

I wonder if Fred is still alive.

In any case, it's no big loss.

That's my husband you're talking about,

you insensitive little bastard.

Shh! Listen.

What is it?

It's probably the old hags' dog. He must have seen them.

It seems far away.

At least we've got something to be glad for.

Why is it so calm all of a sudden?

I don't know.

All I do know is that we've got to get out of here.

My God.

I've just remembered.

Before dinner, I asked Fred for the car keys.

I'd forgotten my face powder.

I've still got them.

Well, that changes everything.

Now, we'll get out of here as quickly as possible

in Fred's car.

Yes, but what about the others?

Christ, what can we do?

They'll just have to be careful.

At the first village, we'll stop and alert the police.

But isn't that just like abandoning them?

Of course not. We shall alert the police.

Oh, shit.

A dead end.

Shh.

Listen.

Hey, what now?

I don't know.

Like breathing.

Run!

I think we've lost her.

Are you sure you know your way through these cellars?

Do I just.

When I was a boy, I used to bring the village girls here

to play doctor.

Come on.

There's a way out to the north.

Oh, God.

Move.

Quick! The keys!

Get a move on!

Oh, shut up, will you?

Stupid bitch! What's happening?

Start it!

God, we've done it!

It's got hold of it!

Oh, nasty little girl.

We cut off Aunt Victoria's hands.

We also cave her head in!

What way is that to act?

No!

I'll have to punish you.

No!

No!

Unless...

Unless you sing for my birthday.

Right away.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Sing, bitch!

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Dear Auntie ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

All right.

Go on.

You can go.

I can go?

Hurry up.

I like to change my mind.

Get on with it, my lovely.

Kill her.

And you! Can't you do something?

" Me?

Yes! You are a priest, aren't you?

I don't know.

Exorcise them.

Do... do... do what?

But bloody hell, what are you good for?

But I...

For centuries, you have burned innocents

at your godforsaken stakes!

And now we've got two monsters after us,

and what are you doing about it?

You are just like a worm who's crying and squirming

in front of the crucifix!

Pathetic bastards!

John, please.

After all, the Inquisition was not my fault.

Oh, hell. Forget it.

Oh my God.

What?

What's the matter?

Suzie.

She asked me 20 minutes ago if she could leave the table

to go to the toilet.

She would have finished by now.

She wouldn't know what's happened since.

Oh my God.

How could we forget Suzie?

But this can't be happening!

Why did you have to let her go to the toilet?

Oh, that's really the limit!

What the hell was I to do?

Say, "My dear Suzie, hold on for just a moment,

because your great aunties are going to turn into demons"?

Is that really what I should have said?

Where is everybody?

Mommy?

Suzie.

Yes, I'm here.

- Where are you? - At the end of the corridor.

I'm coming!

I can't make it!

Continue, my dear. You'll make it.

You see, my angel.

You're here.

This is the bedroom I had when I was a little girl,

just like you.

Nearly a century ago.

Can I play here?

Of course, my little lamb.

If you give me a kiss first.

Where are Mommy and Daddy?

In the house somewhere.

What are they doing?

They're playing hide and seek with the others.

Auntie Victoria and myself

look for them

and we'll find them.

Can I play with you?

But my lamb, you're already playing!

If you had listened to me,

we wouldn't be here this weekend.

We'd be safe at home.

Of course.

Of course, our master is content with his job as a clerk

and driving his own delivery van.

But I am a Remington!

An aristocrat who made the mistake of marrying

a pen pusher who has no ambition!

Did you believe I could accept that for the rest of my life,

when those millions could change all our lives?

To hell with those millions and your fucking family,

and its phony nobleness!

Yes, we commoners may well be dull,

but we leave our parties happy and alive!

Your sick family can burn in bloody hell!

- What did you say? - Oh, please stop it!

You two should be looking for your daughter.

Of course.

I don't know what's happening to us.

We're all going crazy.

Okay.

What shall we do?

You go.

I'll stay here and keep watch.

All right.

Keep watch.

Wait!

You can't open that door!

Those monsters could be behind it!

I know you want to save your daughter,

but to risk our lives?

I can't accept that!

I have a right to live also.

I simply won't allow a hysterical woman

and her over-maternal instincts to take that right from me!

We'll just wait here and pray for the child.

That's all.

Selfish, phony bastard!

Listen well, priest.

I'm going out of this room to look for my daughter,

who's only eight years old.

If you try and stop me,

I swear,

I'll knife those two holy orbs

you have so little use for.

Now, get out of my way.

I'm coming with you, Helen.

I'm warning you, I'm putting the furniture back

and I won't open the door anymore!

Come on, dear.

I'd rather keep you

next to me.

I'm quite sure your mother was proud of you

on the day of your ordination, right?

Yes, of course.

Why?

Because it wasn't the first time

she made a stupid mistake.

Huh?

It could be the others.

No matter who it is, let's stay together.

Come on.

Let's continue.

Oh, I'm freezing.

They can't be far away.

Mommy, I'm tired.

It'll be all right, my dear.

You'll see.

Why are we here?

We're looking for your sister, darling.

It could be her.

Please.

Let it be her.

It seems to be coming from upstairs.

It's Suzie.

I knew we would find her.

Suzie.

Suzie, come play on the swing!

Suzie, come play on the swing!

On the swing!

Quickly! Gilbert's ran away to find his father!

Mommy?

Oh!

Gilbert!

Oh, my darling boy!

Oh!

Mommy?

Bitch, is it nice to have in your arms?

Vicky's hungry!

Come on!

Come on!

Be a good boy. Wait in there.

Won't be long.

Good God, come on.

Come on!

Don't worry. We'll be all right!

Have they gone?

I don't know, dear.

So, you damn bitch of a lesbian.

Fed up with women, are we?

Going out with our little boys?

And in the parish as well.

Aren't you ashamed, you whore?

Tell me!

Get the hell out of here.

Go to hell!

Baby!

We have John with us!

Have a little guess what we're going to do

to Gilbert's daddy.

Time's up!

We're going to cut him up alive,

just like that stupid cow of a daughter.

The difference will be that this time,

you'll hear the agonizing screams and so will Gilbert!

Is that what you want?

I don't believe you!

John is not with you!

So move it!

Rachel! It's true!

They've killed the priest and taken me!

If you don't open, they're going to kill me!

No.

Not that.

Please!

Open the door!

I beg of you!

I don't want them to hurt my daddy!

It's not your father, it's just a trick.

How do you know?

I hope so.

If that's the way you want it. Listen, child!

Listen to what we do to your father because of that bitch!

God, if you exist, help us.

♪ There's no John to save the boy ♪

♪ There's no John ♪

Bloody liars!

Holy water only works in the movies, little horse's ass!

Do you know what I'm going to do?

No.

I am going out to see what's happening.

You are crazy!

It's been more than an hour since your wife left!

I can't see her coming back anymore.

She must be dead!

Do you want the same thing to happen to you?

Is that what you want?

Yes.

If she is dead, it's because my cowardice

runs right through to my backbone.

I have just enough courage to admit what I am.

And you.

You pathetic excuse for a man.

You hide behind your clerical collar!

You've never been the man you pretend to be.

So I'm going out to find my family.

Excuse me.

All right.

What's going on?

Hm?

Stop drinking.

You are disgusting!

You old gus. Shake the cobwebs off your arse.

And piss off.

Bastard!

She's right, old man.

Getting drunk won't change anything.

Excuse me.

Getting drunk, as you say,

permits me to suffer less from my situation,

and if I had more bottles,

which I unfortunately don't,

I'd propose

the same remedy for you.

Cheers!

- Who's there? - It's John!

Open the door!

I'm so glad to see you.

My arse!

Have you seen my wife and son?

No, we've been locked up here for ages,

and I must admit, I thought only we were left alive.

You didn't find anyone?

No.

No, except the priest. I was with him and my wife left.

Left? Where?!

I don't know. Somewhere in the house, looking for Suzie.

To Suzie's health.

You sick bastard!

Heartless bastard!

Keep cool! Can't you see he's been drinking?

Let him kill him! I beg you!

If you mention my wife or children once more,

I'll kill you, do you hear, bastard?

I was only joking.

Can I let you go?

Yes.

I'll be all right.

Right.

Let's take stock.

Unless I'm wrong, it's just the four of us alive.

If there's anybody else, we've got to find them

and get the hell out of here.

But that will be very dangerous.

Listen, we are just three men and Bertha.

If John found us, it's because he took a risk.

That's all we can do.

We can't wait here until the end of time.

The end of the time?

This is the end.

This is what we're going to do.

You and Bertha go take a look in the kitchens.

Fred and I will go to the cellars

to see if anybody's hiding there.

We meet here in 10 minutes.

Okay.

What the hell do you mean, "Okay"?

I don't think it's okay. I think it's stupid to separate!

Listen. If you've got a better plan, tell us or shut up.

You want me to go down with Bertha?

I'll leave the kitchens for you and John.

If he feels like strangling you,

I won't be there to interrupt.

- Just might be better. - Okay, okay.

Don't get upset. I was only just saying.

Go on.

And good luck.

What the hell was I doing, coming to this parish house?

The same as all of us. Chasing the heritage.

I can't see anything.

- Can't you put on a light? - I don't know!

Keep going!

Oh, it smells terrible!

Like a burnt pig.

There is a strange noise here.

Here! The switch!

I couldn't do anything.

It came out and I ran away.

I couldn't do anything.

Nothing at all.

Come on, Radu. You can't stay here.

- I couldn't do anything! - There, there, old man.

We're all in the same boat, you know.

Right. You can see there's nobody here.

Come on! Let's go upstairs.

Wait a second.

We haven't checked the coal cellars yet.

Aren't we the extra eager beaver.

Piss off! We've bloody well looked enough.

I don't think we'll find anybody here.

Just like I was saying!

Oh.

Oh.

Look.

So what? It's just a spider's web.

Oh, nothing.

I just thought the fly defines our situation perfectly.

Look at it.

The more it struggles,

the more entangled he gets.

Fascinating.

No!

Don't help it.

Its nature.

The fly's destiny.

You mustn't go against it.

Yeah, you'd better forget it.

Come and look here.

If the frame is rusted shut,

we should be able to take the gate off and get out of here.

I don't follow!

It was so easy to get out by a door or a window

on the ground floor!

You've got a short memory.

When everybody was trying to save themselves,

Roger tried the front door and it slammed in his face.

Those monsters have powers which we don't understand,

but we have to deal with it!

Okay, but why then should it be different with this place?

Because this is here and now! We have to try!

If the frame is rotten, it's rotten.

We can always try!

- I'm going out first! - Wait!

We've got to tell the others first.

What?

You don't like the idea of me saving my ass first?

That's it.

Well, you're not the bloody boss anymore!

Out I go, with or without your bloody okay!

As for the others, I don't give a damn!

You are so stupid. You're too fat to get through there.

Oh, yeah? Wait and see!

Enjoy yourself.

I'm going upstairs.

Harvey!

I'm stuck!

Come back!

Harvey!

Harvey!

I wanna get out!

I wanna get out!

Keep your shirt on, I'm coming.

Holy shit!

- Get me outta here! - Okay, but stop screaming!

You want them to hear where we are?

I'd like to see you! Do you know I'm claustrophobic?

If you think this is funny...

An elephant doesn't try to go through mouse holes, right?

Just pull! Instead of meditating on the size of my arse.

It's no use.

Wait!

Don't tell me you're gonna leave me here!

Of course not.

Grab the bars. When I pull, you push.

Shit. Me bloody belly's stuck!

Come on, you like to see flies trapped,

and now you're in your own web.

Fuck you and your sick attempts at humor!

Help me!

What's that noise? Did you hear it?

Don't move.

I'll have a look.

That's all we need.

Fred, I have some bad news.

What?

Well, Fred, the spider just arrived.

The spider? What the hell are you talking about?

Harvey?

Harvey!

Holy shit! Will you say something?

Harvey?

Huh?

(Fred screaming

It's too goddamn much!

You hear me?

You old gargoyles!

I'm going to kill you!

Do you understand?

Kill you!

Yes!

That's right!

Let's sort this out!

Come on!

Come on!

Patience, girls.

The time has come for Harvey to take care of you.

You're gonna get a test of your own vile medicine!

Your sick little game is over!

Come on, show yourselves!

You can't escape me now!

You lousy Frenchman!

You've only married into the family

and your wife is rotting in the cemetery!

You dare to mock me?

You leprous whore!

I will win!

I've got to go.

I must go.

I've got to go.

I can't!

No!

That's it.

That damn box started all this.

And now, we're all going to die.

I've done nothing.

You're the guilty ones.

You.

The Remingtons and the search for money.

For 20 years, you've been wishing dead them

and yourselves richer.

It's Heaven that sent that box as a punishment!

Do you hear me?

It's your punishment!

You bloodsucking leeches!

Your punishment!

Punishment, that's it. Punishment, that's it.

I have done nothing.

But I must die

with the like of you.

It's unjust.

No.

I'm going to try

to get out of here.

And

when I do,

I'm going to tell everybody that tonight,

all of the Remingtons died!

And were damned!

Do you hear me?

Damned!

Damned!

Damned!

Damned!

Come on.

Let's not stay here.

And go where?

They're always there before us.

Look at her.

She doesn't even take notice of us.

She's enjoying herself.

The two of them enjoy a good laugh.

They throw guts around,

like so many slapstick cream pies.

We're just like flies with our wings torn off.

Little creatures

which can twist and turn in every direction,

but can't escape their destiny.

I might have an idea.

Come on.

Come with me.

Peekaboo, Father!

You know that we respect you, Percival.

Yes! A man of God isn't just anyone.

Elizabeth wants to torture you before we kill you.

But I insisted that it be really painless,

because we like you very much, Percival!

Every time you smash a student's fingers with a ruler,

I say to myself,

"He's a vicious man.

A bad priest."

And we like bad priests.

So...

Pull the trigger.

Why suffer?

Otherwise, it's her way.

And I promise you, your vocal cords will split!

What do you think of that, Percival?

Don't listen to her.

If you commit suicide, you know what's waiting for you.

A priest who kills himself!

You want to be damned?

For just a few minutes of suffering, you save your soul.

No, Percival! Let me look after you.

Be strong, just once in your boring life!

Just once!

But what's she been telling you, Percival?

It's not her who's going to have her eyes pulled out,

or her knees broken,

or her stomach eaten out.

It's all right for her.

Horrid sister!

Think about Percival.

I hope you see it all clearly.

She's just waiting for you to play martyr

so she can make a human hamburger out of you.

Don't let her do it, Percival!

Kill yourself!

After all, you never were a good priest!

No!

Yes!

I won! I won!

This is the cause of everything.

Christopher has never forgiven us.

So he sent that,

knowing damn well what would happen.

Because of our greed, we'd all be here

and then we'd all pay.

And if we destroy it?

Yes, I don't know enough about the occults,

but if a cause is destroyed, so should be its power!

Let's try.

But I think it would be better if...

What?

If we destroy it in a consecrated place.

I don't know.

It's possible.

Let's try the chapel.

- Yes. - Come on.

Oh, no.

Even him!

There's only us left.

You damned monsters.

You even killed a priest!

Damn you!

Do you hear me? Damn you!

Stop it!

- We'll be heard! - I don't give a damn!

You two think you're the strongest!

Well, we will destroy you!

Just like the box you came out of!

Do you hear me?

What's going to happen now?

You upset them!

That's what!

Here, take it and run to the chapel!

I'll try to slow them down!

John the Coward is not a coward anymore!

Well done, John!

Who's there?

It's Bertha!

Open the door!

Open, please!

No. Enough is enough.

I know who you are and I won't open.

Do you hear me?

Get the hell out of here!

For the love of God, I swear it's me!

Open!

No!

I don't want to die.

Please.

No! Don't open the door!

- No! - Don't worry, dear.

I'll just open it to check.

No!

Oh, quick! Destroy it now!

- I'm not dead? - No.

If only to upset them, we're gonna live.

We've got to act quickly!

The door's gonna give in!

What are you going to do?

I'm going destroy this damn thing.

Give me a crucifix.

It's got... it's got to!

What're you gonna do, you damn box? What're you gonna do?

Quick!

Give me the strength, now!

Enough!

Help me.

Please.

I don't understand!

I don't understand!

Oh, goodness gracious!

Inspector, I find your attitude terrible.

I'm warning you, I have friends in high places.

Heads will roll.

Now I know that God doesn't exist.

Why?

Because if he did, he could've stopped all this.

If he had stopped it,

you couldn't have proven how brave you are.

Nobody could ever prove anything.

The solutions were simply handed down from above.

See what I mean?

Yes, I think so.

My Mommy, will she be all right?

Yes.

We'll look after her.

If you want to, you can stay with me for a while.

If your father and the police agree.

Wow! That's smashing!

Everything all right, miss?

Of course.

Hurry up!

Okay.

We serve pretty good foods around these parts.

Had a chance to try any yet, miss?