Original subtitles

A friend of mine became a big-shot Hollywood director.

He put himself in his own movies.

Big mistake.

My oldest friend Jack teaches acting in the Valley to people in refrigerator boxes.

He said the idea came to him when he was locked in a public bathroom for a night.

Me, I own a laundromat. My best friend has four legs and cataract.

We had gone out to Los Angeles to change the world.

And then we got hit, smack in the face by something we hadn't seen coming: Fame.

You 're fired!

It had been all over the news for the last few days.

my director friend, Pete Smalls, had taken the big swim.

No surprise, really, the way he'd been living.

I didn't really know how to feel about it but I didn't have much time to think.

I had some pressing problems of my own.

OK, I have the time and the place. Seven-thirty, King's Tavern.

You bring all the money. Ten thousand, not five, not five and a half, you bring ten thousand dollars, you hear me?

And KC, do yourself a favour, cause I'm known to do bad things to people.

... you piece of shit! How about I take your dog?

I owed ten thousand to a guy named Nimmo. Ten thousand wasn't much, but

in the laundry business it was a lot of dirty sheets.

Hollywood headline has attained new information regarding the drowning of world-renowned director, Pete Smalls.

Known best for the slapper trilogy, "Blood Bucket 1, 2 and 3".

Mr. Smalls was survived by his wife, Julia Smalls

whose only comment to the press was: "my lawyers will deal with my pain".

Hollywood had loved Pete Smalls with all its heart.

But behind the Hollywood sign it's written that all the heart in tinsel town could fit in the navel of a fruit fly

and still have room for three caraway seeds.

We had drifted apart. I hardly knew Pete anymore.

We lost what we once had.

We all lost something.

But that was then and I had to pay up now, or else.

I can't say I don't see it coming, but still, it came pretty hard.

You 'll get your almost-blind dog back when you come up with the ten thousand!

Oh, come on! Leave my dog alone!

Come on ...

weight gain and weight loss that's a hard one for all of us -

but in extreme cases people have gained large amounts of weight and lost it at the same time.

KC, it's Jack. Pick up the god-damn phone, Pete Smalls is dead.

Yeah, I heard, it's all over the news. - So you're coming with me?

I... I can't. - What? Why not?

Uh, Nimmo beat me up and took my dog.

Yeah well, who's Nimmo? - A loan shark.

He took your dog? Buddha? That can't stand, man.

You got ten thousand dollars?

yeah, I do. - Uh huh, yeah.

I do, I do. I didn't before, but you come to the funeral -

you help me bury Pete, I'll get you your money.

Yeah. OK. You know what, Jack, why don't you just send it to me? - Ah, no way, no way.

You... Look. You come out to LA, you put Pete in the ground -

I get you your money. That's the deal.

I guess I had no choice but to take Jack up on his deal and head out to LA.

Come on, you big ape.

I've been here for two hours. What, are you walking here? Hello!

Move! Damn! I missed it.

Damn. I hate this airport.

You're two hours late. - Security stopped me.

And you pick me up in a... in a scooter. God-damn scooter.

My car is broken. This is a loaner. Come on!

Oh, we gotta go now. - All right, Jack.

If you had to pick my greatest flaw, what would it be? - You're a liar, Jack.

Yeah, yeah, we're leaving.

When am I gonna get my money, Jack? - After the funeral, that was our deal.

All right. Well, I can't face this Hollywood crap without a drink.

There'll be booze there. - What if there isn't?

How long do you think Buddha is gonna live for? - What do you mean?

I mean, there's a difference, if he's got 1 or 2 or if he's got, like, 7 or 8.

He's got a lot of life left in him, Jack.

Did you get the change? - No, there's no change. It's 10 bucks, come on.

How's Julia handling all this? - Oh, Julia's a fraud, man.

Pete and Julia's marriage was a fraud.

How's your blood pressure Jack? - Why do you bring that up? I'm perfectly healthy.

California-healthy. You wanna wrestle? I will wrestle the shit out of you.

It's not too good uphills, is it Jack? - I love the hills, man. Keep me in shape.

Just enjoy the view.

We're gonna be rolling in Bellevue, man. - Oh yeah? - Yeah, rollin'

It looked like Julia had taken the opportunity to turn Pete's death into her own art show.

She was always looking for some way to express herself.

Julia... - Look what the cat dragged in.

You wanna say hello? - No, no. That prick next to her, that's Hal Lazar,

Pete's producer. They're fucking.

I'm going to comfort her. - No, comfort me.

Brought the world's biggest leech with him. - They'll be gone soon.

We'll see whose ass is tight now. - Come on, we're here for Pete.

For Pete...

Here man, I brought you some M&Ms. I know that you like the blue ones.

I like the orange.

Jesus Christ, it says "no touching". Can't they read?

What did they do to him? - Yeah. Looks like old Pete's made of marzipan.

Weird. Gimme a hit of that.

Oh, shit! - Get them off Pete, Hal.

It's a fake, man. It's a fake!

I came to bury a friend, not a toy.

Get away from him Jack!

Where is my friend Pete? - Oh, my God! Oh no!

OK, everyone, settle down, this is a family matter. - I'm calling the police!

Go ahead!

It was really nice work, Julia.

You know, you smoked all your friends to the bone and now you're back in town. Why?

Jack really loved Pete, you know? - Jack is fucking crazy!

This town has no love for you, KC. If I was you, I'd stay away.

Well. I'm just passing through. I'm gonna get my dog back.

That same dog?

I always thought that dog was the best thing about you, KC.

Julia said you can see Pete. And she made the head.

I knew it, didn't look a thing like him.

Can I get my money now?

Why you gotta ask me that all the time? Yeah, after we see Pete.

Is he gonna get hysterical? - No, he'll be fine.

Fucking traitor! - What are you doing? Come on, stop!

You're not fighting back now, huh?

What? - Shh, quiet!

I have glow sticks. - We're not fucking camping Jack!

It's not an expedition. - All right, all right.

You know, KC, Pete stole your screenplay, man.

I know, it sounds really nuts, and I should have told you before

but I had to get you out of the laundromat so that you could see what

this fat slub of whale blubber really was making a mess of out here...

I never wrote a god-damn Kung-Fu script, Jack.

That chop suey shit, that was all Hal-schmucko's idea.

You get me out here with your "I'm gonna get you your money" shit. You're lying to me.

The minute he showed up at the airport on that tinker toy, I should have known I was in trouble.

Jack was the prince of all tomorrows, but I needed my dog back today.

You're lying to me. - What, was I supposed to tell you the truth?

You would have never come here. You'd still be waiting for Buddha's paw to come to you in the mail, man.

Look at this.

Look, look at the back. Look at it!

REMEMBER ME

This came a week before Pete took a swim.

He stole your script, word for god-damn word. He drank himself fat over it, he drank himself sick over it.

Why would Pete do that, Jack? - Because he was scared.

You saw his last two films. - No.

Well, don't. It's not right this fucker Hal Lazar should head off with your script.

Look at this. Come around. Look at that shit.

Look! Can you see it?

Yeah. You know what? People fuck people in Hollywood all the time, so what?

I've got a lawyer. Says he's got a financier partner.

He'll buy Pete's film for something over cost.

I mean, we've got Hal Lazar over a barrel.

You know, this may be a chance for you to get back on your feet.

Ten years? Don't you think that that is maybe just long enough?

I mean, the way you walk around with, like, bad luck is your only friend?

She would have never wanted that.

So when are you meeting these big-shot Hollywood guys?

Tomorrow.

I need to prove that it's my script. - Is Pete's editor proof enough?

There is one thing. - What?

She's French.

You have a boo-boo? - Yeah, boo-boo. Wait, what?

Come. - Where are you going?

First I must take care of him.

Are you gonna show KC some film?

Do you like it? - It's nice.

You keep it. - No.

Please, keep it.

Sorry. Now let me see.

Your script is beautiful.

Is it my script? - Yes, of course.

It was torn to pieces, for what he did.

He loved you, KC Munk. More than a man should love another man.

So what did happen to Pete that night? - On the set he was a wild, wild man.

He was to play the Kung-Fu Master Suey.

He was filled with disdain and the crew laugh at him.

And he makes them fired.

Are you all right in there? - Jack, please, shut your mouth when you speak!

I'm not supposed to have persons in here. If I'm caught with you, I'm in trouble. Bad!

You know, get him done. What's up?

The last I saw him, He wandered down the beach.

I think to swim. - Do you think so?

I think. To swim.

I should have never left him alone.

What the fucker, Jack! - Who the fuck is Jack, sugar-tits?

Just a minute, Monsieur Bob! - Are you fucking someone in here, in the other room?

If I'm found with you, I'm thrown out on the street. Totally empty, without my clothes.

I'm going to cut the shit out of this shit.

Go! - I'm ... Oh, here you are.

I was just going home, Monsieur Lazar. - My editor's home, is the editing room.

Please, please. Come on. It's all right.

I want you to cut everything with the fat priest in it.

You can't be serious.

I have an 18 million dollar movie that nobody wants to buy.

So, yes, I'm serious.

If Jack and Saskia were right and Pete had stolen my script and shot a movie from it

then it had to be worth enough to get Buddha back.

That woman is really something.

Don't get too worked up. She's in love with Pete.

Pete is dead. What, is she gonna mourn him for the rest of her life?

Usually it takes more than a week to get over the death of someone you loved, Jack.

Wait, hold up. Let me get that card again.

I think there's potential. I know there's something between us, you know, underneath.

Do you want the card?

Xan?

What are you doing here? - I hate mum, dad.

And what the hell are you inhaling there?

Remember KC? Yeah?

I can't be at mom's.

Dad, I'm in love with Aram. We're gonna live together.

Who's Aram? I don't know who Aram is.

Last year, you gave out Valentine's Day cards to like, fifty different guys.

Father, I've had my period.

Is that the big lover guy over there hiding behind the tree?

Is he that Armenian kid? - Yeah.

Let me tell you something about Armenians. You know, their country is right next to Greece.

If you know anything about real homosexuality ... - Oh dad, believe me, Aram is not ...

Hey, hey!

God! It's like yesterday I bought you a beautiful princess dress.

Now, you just want to take it off.

You're still my little baby girl, right?

Even if you're gonna get married now.

Aram and I are not getting married. - No? - No.

Fuck! Oh, shit!

You know, I was thinking, KC ... Maybe that loan shark of yours will take less.

Maybe take, like, four, four and a half grand or something like that.

I don't pay rent, I can get that together really easy.

Jack, your producer guy and his lawyer have their own money, right?

Man, oodles. Oodles, piles... tons.

They capitalize. That's the word around town, anyway.

You know, I'm really glad you're here.

Did you ever fool around with Julia? - What?

Did you ever fool around with Julia?

Once or twice.

I can't believe that!

I don't think I could ever be that mad at my dick.

Go to sleep, Jack.

Good night. - Nighty-night.

You have a boo-boo? Do you have a boo-boo?

You have a boo-boo.

Pete has a boo-boo.

Doggy has a boo-boo.

Doggy has a boo-boo.

Pete has a boo-boo.

What was that? - Nothing.

Your worst nightmare.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince.

So Jack and I went frog-kissing.

Why don't you guys have something to eat? They have an avocado salad here that will give you an erection.

Maybe I'll take one home, for emergencies. KC, what about you, do you want an erection?

I think I'm gonna wait outside.

Should have asked if they had one of them kiddy-chairs for you.

You want us to ask?

Wait till the medication kicks in. - Bernie, how about an avocado salad?

You know I don't eat that greasy crap.

Lenny owns an avocado farm. That's why he's always pushing them.

I'm gonna get some air. - Anyway, it is terrific to meet you.

I'm a huge fan. Shannah, say hello.

This is my assistant, Shannah. - Most people have two names, Bernie.

Most people aren't like you, Shannah. You gotta ask my wife about that.

I'm gonna get some air, Jack.

Is there a problem? Lenny, did you say something off-colour, or something?

What the fuck? Not a word. What are you talking about? - He can be a little uncouth sometimes.

But, listen. Between us, we have produced over 48 pictures.

Do you want the titles? - I'm going to step out now.

All right, whatever. Hey, I'm a fan!

I get it. But the bottom line is Pete Smalls is a genius.

I want this film.

And I will pay whatever it is. Up to 20 million. - I told you.

Bernie is in love.

Listen. We're gonna move the money from an offshore account.

This has got to be for domestic and worldwide rights, capisce?

No problem. - All right. Shannah, go outside...

I want you to ask me nicely.

Please go outside and inform Mr. Smalls, that we are finished with the bullshit business

and we can get back to some serious fucking around. - Bernie, wait a minute.

That's not Smalls out there, breathing in the parking lot.

That's Jack's partner, Munk. - KC Munk, you know?

What the fuck, you told me I was meeting with Pete Smalls! - Don't blame me for this fuck-up, asshole.

See, this is what I get for hiring a pair of tits. - You know what? Fuck your job.

Write with your hand, then try fucking your wife.

Hey! That was rude!

I think there's been a misunderstanding. - No, no, don't worry about her.

She's just another fucked-up kid, who wants everything right away.

You guys understand, Pete Smalls is dead, right?

I didn't know that. - What do you mean dead?

You mean, unfinanceable? - He's dead. Like, funeral-dead.

Why am I sitting here, if Pete Smalls is washed-up, dead corpse?

Hold on. I'll tell you why you're sitting here. You're sitting here because "dead" and "dead" are two different things. You follow?

You'd better start making some sense, lawyer-brains because if Pete Smalls' name is not on this film, I don't want it.

From the grave, to your living room.

Pete Smalls speaks from the beyond.

That's good. - OK.

Let's say I like Pete Smalls being dead. Let's say I get it.

That's gonna knock off a few million. Right? Is that fair?

It's good. Whatever you guys think. - We'll do an ad campaign.

All right? Get this, watch: "Pete Smalls, the director from behind. "

Beyond. - OK, let me finish.

"The director who refused to die."

It'll be like an Elvis thing. - That's good, Elvis. Whatever you guys think.

"Pete Smalls Is Dead? I do not think so. I saw him at Ralph's last week."

You did?

You said they have money, Jack. - I said they have access to money.

Oh yeah? Who paid for the coffee? - Bernie is hot on the idea that Pete's dead.

I can get these guys to buy that film from Lazar. And then we finish it.

You know what? If I go to Lazar and ask him politely as I can for the 20.000 dollars, that's it.

20.000 shit-ass dollars? - Half of which is yours. 10.000 dollars.

But me? I'm gonna go home, I'm gonna get my dog.

Where are you walking to?

Later!

I'm gonna get you your money. You just got to promise me one thing.

That you stick around and see this through to the end, god fuck it.

Where are you are going to get me my money now, Jack? - Look. Pete hooked me up with his uncle Saco.

He's got a garage, he let me teach there for nothing. This guy, he is loaded.

He doesn't just fix mufflers. And he loves dogs.

If this doesn't work, we go to Lazar.

Now, get on. Come on.

Come on, get on.

Jack took me to a garage on the corner of Argyle and Vine where someone had stuck a fig tree in the ground-

and named the ten square blocks east of the 101 "Little Armenia".

For you. They fly to Mexico.

Monsieur Monk... Pretty, non? - What are you doing here?

I live over there, and my engine is stinking on my piece-of-shit auto. And you?

Jack's up there to get me some money, so I can get my dog back.

Sounds like this dog is a very important doggy. - Yeah.

Come, come. - What are you going to do?

About what? - About the rape of your work.

I don't know yet. - When you know, give it to me.

They took his dog. - Jack, please. Don't explain anymore.

Jack, I beg you. Too many words can tear your heart.

Sorry. Could you just give him the money?

Do you want your dog back?

Yeah.

I'll get your dog. - How?

Why are you talking to me like an animal?

Maybe you don't believe me. - My dog is sick.

I said I get your dog, I get your dog. Do you understand me, KC Munk? Man to man?

I understand. - OK.

Look. Now we talk more seriously.

What do you know about women? - They have teeth.

They have teeth, yeah, they have teeth that bite you.

And they bite you everywhere, and you like that bite. Bitey-bitey!

I like it, you're a film maker. And I talk to you like a film maker.

I'm not a film maker. I was. - No "was", is!

You make me a love film, I get your dog, I promise.

What kind of film? - A love film.

What kind of film is that? - Love that burns your brain.

And the more you look at it, the more it burns.

And the more it burns, the more you want.

Not that you forget your beauty dog.

But close.

Now ...

Why are you dancing? - Because I want to.

He's talking about a porno film, Jack. - He said "love".

Pornography. - He said "love"!

You are such a nay-sayer! - We're going to Lazar's.

With Jack's heart as our GPS, we were lost.

Being lost with him was ok, but if I let him know I felt that way

I was afraid he'd take me in that scooter and head straight for the moon.

20.000...

Are you threatening me? - Pete never owned the rights to the script.

So that amounts to stolen property, right? - Shut up, Jack.

KC, I would never start a movie -

with an overweight, strung-out, washed up, ignorant director without rights.

You're bluffing. - All I want is the 20 grand and...

Blah, blah, blah...

Knock if off, KC.

You gave Pete your screenplay at Odessa Restaurant. - The hell I did.

You did. He paid 150 dollars for your rent so, you gave him your screenplay.

Oh and as I recall, you also kissed him for it.

What is it, Julia? That's a bunch of shit.

150 dollars was a lot back then. Wasn't it?

Man, I've got, like, 1800 bucks.

That's for Xan's college. - That's not gonna do it.

Jack was a human mood ring and I think he was about to turn purple.

He had everything riding on this and it had been pulled out from under him by a greasy napkin

signed at the Odessa restaurant 15 years ago.

I just wanted my dog, but Jack had wanted a lot more.

I was thinking about Buddha, but I was also thinking about Saskia.

I couldn't see what she saw in Pete. I know movies were like religion to the French,

and to them, Jerry Lewis was a god.

But still, to work so hard for Pete

he'd gone soft long ago. Maybe she knew something I didn't know.

This is Nimmo's answer machine. Right now I'm out walking the dog. I'll call you back when the fucker...

I'm sorry about your dog KC. I'm sure everything will work out ok.

Do you think so? - Sure.

What is he doing?

So, why are men like diapers, KC? - I don't know. Why?

Cause they're always on my ass and full of shit.

One of these is yours. Sure looks like someone needs help.

Porno is addictive, dad.

I thought you were in the shower. - Don't worry about it dad. Aram and I have seen these already.

Twice.

She's a good kid. - There's a bond of trust between us.

It's the trustworthy ones you've got to look out for.

What's this?

You got one too? Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't know what they meant. - It meant that Pete was in deep shit and needed our help.

I don't think Pete sent them. - Then who did?

Of course, I did. I did every job for Pete. Look at this shit.

Now I destroy this film. - You sent both these cards.

He gave me three cards, I sent them.

What three? - These and Joey-something.

Joey Sausa! Joey Sausa? Sausa?

Joey Sausa. Fat-Joey we called him. The four of us used to kick around in New York,

before we chipped in to get him an airplane ticket to come to LA.

LA hadn't treated him so good. He ended up in a motel watching TV

and getting Jack to drive him to the methadone clinic once a week.

Joey! I worry about Pete.

Pizza delivery. - Fuck it, get in here!

Panda pizza. - Joey, look. The problem is that KC signed...

That's up in the drawer, yellow envelope!

KC, come here! We've got Lazar now.

It says, Pete says it was your original screenplay. Right there, notarized.

We've got the fucker!

Where did you get this paper, Joey? - Pete was your friend, KC.

And when he comes by, all fucked up like he was

and he gives me an envelope, I don't say nothing.

So the director from beyond reached out of the grave and gave us life again.

He had turned the rights back over to me and threw that wrinkled napkin in the trash.

Can I help you? - Health department.

Are you ready?

Your play.

For the boss.

He didn't order soup.

My god, I am a big fan of yours. - Jack, what do you want?

You know, maybe you want to take a look at this.

I teach a class on Tuesday nights in the valley...

You know, maybe you want to stop by, cause after that movie...

Jack, come here. - Wait a minute.

The name is Games, Jack Games.

I should be dancing on your fucking entrails right now. Guys?

That sounds like you want to negotiate. That's a good choice.

That's my negotiation.

Word is Pete Smalls' picture is a mess. Jack is a guy that's gonna cover the cost of the negative.

These guys are for real.

Uncomfortable? - A little.

You come to me, and you bring 16 million dollars personally, and we'll have something to talk about.

That's good. - Okay, good.

That's sorted out.

As a rule I don't like looking down at people, I like eye to eye -

so, bearing that in mind, I either got to get down on my knees in front of you or I'll have to have Alfie here to get you up on me.

No, I can do that. In the future I can do that.

I don't get on my knees for...

Bob, give Mr. Munk here 10.000 dollars.

For his dog.

Right now? I don't...

It's what you want, isn't it?

I have 500. How about I give you 500 and I'll do the rest in a check?

Is that cool?

Go get another dog.

Remember, cream rises to the top.

You are a waste, Munk.

How is it? - I think I can put it back together.

I meant the finger. - What? Oh, that will mend.

What were you doing in there? - He offered me money.

I'll see you later. - Thank you so much, baby.

And what did you do?

I punched his fist with my stomach.

Ow! - The price for doing business.

Did you hear him say 16 mil? - I heard your finger snap.

I had just turned down the 10 grand that would get Buddha back.

Was I stupid? Was I back to my old ways of saying no to people who I didn't like?

Let me do the talking, I get the personal connection.

Yeah, yeah, what? - We got the Pete Smalls deal.

Len, it's Chico and his chihuahua, here with some deal. - What the fuck, I don't want to hear any more bullshit.

Come on in guys. - Chico and his chihuahua?

That's the way friends joke around. Forget it.

So we are back to kissing frogs.

Fuck you! - Have a seat.

So, look. Smalls' picture is a "go". My foreign guys like it. - That's great.

Paging doctor Fine. - What's this?

That's a contract that says that KC owns the screenplay that Hal Lazar never purchased.

Who's Lazar? - Hell fucked-up Lazar, he owns Smalls' picture.

Well... word is, it needs a little tinkering.

Maybe it needs a little work but this says he does not own the picture, free and clear.

Doctor Fine, paging doctor Fine... - Well good then, he'll sell it to us real cheap.

Listen, I got to go back and make a call, so I'm gonna apologize in advance.

Surgery, doctor Fine! - Lenny here is gonna take care of all the details, right?

You gotta forgive him, he's got a weakness for clam.

It drains him, he's unable to concentrate.

It's my opinion that sex with women is for fairies.

So, when do we get our financing? - Fuck you!

I say that with all the love in the world.

What you guys got to know is that the money is good and we're financing pictures.

Ask around if you don't trust us. - I hate you!

Is that the best you can do, sweetheart?

Wait, where are you going? - Don't worry, she'll be back.

It's this twisted little game they play. They call it "that hoof".

It's some kind of sick, fucked-up torture routine that keeps them hot for each other.

Really? What about our deal? - It's Buddha!

Buddha? What, is he on acid? - Where are you going? Thanks.

Buddha! Boo-boo!

Munk! We're this close, and then you go fucking bananas!

Hey, Buddha! Hey, open up!

Saco!

Come on, I'm not fucking around, man. Come on!

Something stinks, KC. - You live across the street from Saco.

Everyone has to live somewhere. - He said he would help me get my dog.

I just saw my dog. - So what?

Par hazard, it's not about that. It's not about your doggy, or your postcards. Merde!

I needed answers, but I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying.

Her eyes were telling me something, something I hadn't heard in a long time.

Something I probably should listen to.

What do you think?

About what? - That I'm canned, fucked beyond words!

I refused to let that sadist pig

use Pete's name to make this "love movie".

So I'm thrown out. - What did he call it?

"Love movie".

Lazar knows nothing about love.

He called it a "love movie"? - We have something in common, you and I.

We have nothing to lose.

Was Lazar connected to Saco?

If he was, who had Buddha?

Eskimos have 500 words for snow, the French have 500 kinds of cheese.

And all I have is 500 kinds of questions.

I had to find my partner. I'd left him kissing a frog.

Jack!

Jack, are you okay? - Take it easy.

Say that again. - Quoi? Are you okay?

Let's fall in love. - Let's get sober.

Careful, Jack. - What round is it?

Fight's over, Jacko. You won.

Who is the woman? - Only you, baby.

In the photo. With you and Pete and KC.

It's Jill. - She is beautiful.

Yeah, she was, she could have any man. Lucky shrimp, she chose him.

KC was a lot of fun back then.

The two of them together, they could light up a room.

They were a light you could steer by.

What happened to KC's fun?

She got sick and she died.

It was slow and it was mean. Took the skip right out of his step.

When was this? - It's been ten years since I saw the man smile.

All he's got left from her, is the dog.

OK, here's the plan: We take the only thing they care about. The movie.

Oooh, the man has a plan. Welcome back, baby.

Does your pass key still work? - Voilà.

We needed a car to transport the negative and we needed a way to get in the lab.

Aram's day job would provide both. Everybody loves pizza.

And Aram said Panda Pizza was the best.

Back off!

We only have ten minutes.

Panda Pizza, huh?

Hello! - Hello again, how are you?

Just make it fast! - I'm in the deep shit side.

I need the big help. - You're looking at the best big help there is in Hollywood.

Slow down. It's good to see you.

You're pretty in black. And a fun hat.

No cameras. Get the negative and get out of here.

What are we looking for KC? - Something with Pete Smalls' name on it. And hurry up!

What's going on between you and Saskia? - Nothing.

It doesn't look like nothing to me. - Jack, you're my best friend.

Don't you think you'd know if I was nibbling on Saskia's ear?

Would you tell me if you nibbled on her ear?

No. I said I'm not, okay?

Shh, quiet!

Wait!

I'm gonna help you in any way I can, sweetheart. You just tell me what to do and poppa's gonna help.

You didn't do anything wrong. You just deleted a couple of credits.

Why did you say you were nibbling on her ear?

For fuck's sake Jack. Maybe I did say it, but I didn't do it.

And if I were you, I'd be more concerned about why Xan and Aram are being so quiet.

Huh? Shit!

Aram!

What? - Got ya, daddy!

Credit screw-ups, they happen all the time. - Do they?

Well, not all the time, but daddy's gonna fix everything.

As soon as Bob gets back from his break, we're gonna go get some mango margaritas. My treat. Margaritas fix everything.

Ever since this disaster my heart is jumping in my breast.

In my bosom! Like I can't breathe.

Can you feel it? - Yeah, I can.

Oh Sly, I feel so safe with you. - Mango margarita!

How do you say margarita in French? - I must go.

I like these suits! Look at him!

You must leave that here. - She's right dad. The first place they're gonna look is your apartment.

Yeah Jack, let's go back to your place and wait it out.

Now that we had Pete's negatives Saskia was happy, but Jack was freaked out of his mind.

What's taking them so long to find out?

What's your rush? I didn't think you'd be itching to deal with fucker Lazar again.

I want Jack Games' balls in my mouth!

I gotta hide these fucking tapes.

They're here! Give me that!

Hey guys.

I gotta hide those tapes. - Any news?

All it says is something about an insurance claim. - They're not here!

The tapes, they're gone! They've been here! I knew they'd be here!

Aram borrowed them, dad. You'll get them back.

Oh my god, fucking Lazar is claiming lab negligence.

And now the bond company is gonna cover the cost of the negative.

Don't do that. Where are you going? Hey! Wait up!

I have something you want. - She gotta be eighteen,

...slightly boyish and willing. - We've got the Smalls negative.

I wouldn't say that too loud if I were you. Somebody making an outrageous claim like that might get a lot of attention.

In a town where people have been known to say anything for attention.

Want some? It's really good. - No thanks, I know how they make it.

I want my dog. - Your pooch still missing, is it?

It seems hardly... fair.

That I'll get my insurance money and you're still without your dog.

Too bad he can't collect on a dog, like you can on a film.

Shut up, you little twit. They can't get away with that.

High-strung nacko succumbs to the pressure and

edits in a big-money picture.

We can her ass, she runs around destroying everything in her path.

That's the lab story and it just sounds right to me.

Every time I think about that chick, I gotta fucking take a walk around the block.

You're going to blame Saskia and collect on the insurance money.

You better find that hot-headed Armenian chick before the cops do.

I thought she was French. - French, French-Armenian.

She was gone. Someone had picked her place clean to the bone.

She had nice teeth for a dirty French girl, you know what I mean? - Sure.

She paid the rent on time, which is unusual in this building.

I have to eat too, right? - Yeah, we all gotta eat.

I wouldn't worry about me. I got a dead husband, plenty of money.

Some people find that attractive. Men and women.

I have a lot of friends.

She probably took off in the middle of the night. Nobody heard so much as a peep.

Must have had relations with hundreds of men.

You know. French, young, good teeth. You fill in the blanks.

What are you looking for in there? I went through there already.

I have a deposit check, but since you boys are relations

you'll make account for the utilities?

Saco had packed up his operation and licked town.

He had Buddha, maybe the film and Saskia too.

That is illegal, for your information.

I like your suit, big guy. You know what I mean? So, anyway, where do I send the bill?

Someone scared the girl. - Yeah. And you.

Where did you first meet her?

Saskia? Saco's garage. Fat Joey. What was his name, before he became Fat Joey?

Joey Saroyan. Before he became Fat Joey.

Fat Armenian Joey?

Right? Armenian? - I don't know.

Fat Armenian Joey, who never left his room, gone.

Damn.

Are you saying Pete got in trouble with some Armenian secret society?

Whatever that is.

They could be after us. - Who's left?

What are we gonna do?

They fly to Mexico.

Follow the butterflies.

Remember, I've got eyes on the back of my head. - You must fall down a lot, dad.

Aram, told you not to call me that. How about a little land of separation here?

What? - Looks like the deal fell through.

Who said financing films is supposed to be easy?

Come on! Let's go!

Too bad about Len and Bernie. They were the only people I knew who got arrested

attempting to break into Mexico.

Where are you going? - Suarez.

Thank you.

How long that kid's gotta know my daughter

before he can watch her pee and I can't?

Long enough to call you daddy.

Maybe if I get them some food, they'll stop chewing on each other's faces.

You'd better make it spicy.

Muy picante. Gracias.

OK, there's only one real road south, but I can't find Suarez anywhere.

Just keep looking.

Do you like Mexican, Aram? - I love it, Dad.

What's this guy want? - He says he knows where Suarez is.

I'm on fire. - This guy smells.

Wake him up.

Jack still wanted to find the film, but I'd long given up on that.

I just wanted answers and I hoped she was there to give them to me.

What do you think? - We're somewhere.

Maybe we should go and see if they've got any rooms for tonight.

Do you speak English? - Claro, sometimes.

Do you know this place?

Very well.

Does this mean anything to you? - Claro.

You're Mr. Munk? I have rooms for you and your friends.

Do they have cold beer? - Are you Mr. Jack?

And you Mr. Munk, I have someone for you to meet.

Come, come.

Hey, look!

Buddha! - Buddha, some name.

Hey, hey...

How did he get here? - This man Saco, he bring him here.

And he paid me a lot of money, and he say Mr. Munk will come for him.

Saco, is he here? - No.

Is there a girl? - No. No girl.

You eat, you drink, you sleep. Tomorrow you wake up and you swim in the sea.

And you feel fantastic.

Saco had got me my dog back and I was grateful.

But why Mexico? To make a love movie?

Every man should know the love of a good dog and the love of good tequila, mi amigo.

Salud!

What's he saying?

He say, this bad man made love to the dead man's wife.

And he made the dead undead, maybe. - That's tough.

Not for him.

The minute that door opened and I smelled that familiar cheap cologne, it all made sense.

Pete called it his lucky scent. It had always given me a headache.

I can't believe I made love to that woman for... what?

Fourteen years!

So you're happy to see me alive then, are you?

Your guys slapped me pretty good over some money, skinny boy.

Maybe you needed the slap to get you out of the dirty laundry business.

See, I did the dysentery diet and I lost, what, 35 pounds. It almost killed me, but man look at me now, I'm thin and beautiful.

And I had to quit that fucking movie, I mean, it was...

I should never have stolen that from you in the first place.

God, I ruined it. I don't even know what it was called.

What was it about again? - Friendship.

Fuck me, I knew it...

I knew it. Friendship!

Cheers, man. Friendship.

That's what I need you for. To remind me of all the shit I do.

You have a gift, and it's not folding other people's dirty fucking laundry.

You cooked this up so I could remind you of who you are?

No, uncle Saco did the cooking -most of the cooking. But yeah.

In a nutshell, yeah. - What about Jack?

You should never have left him alone in the Valley like that. He's delicate.

He's not like you, he's not like me. He's not. He's delicate.

He's not going to make it out there on his own. You know? All alone.

- You saw him?

Yeah, he kissed me.

He's happy to be one of the three Stooges.

He knows he's never gonna be fucking Moe or Curly.

But he's just happy being Shemp.

What about Saskia? - She doesn't matter.

I couldn't have done it without her, man. Fuck me, Saskia.

No, fucking right. I couldn't have done it without her.

What are you gonna do? 300-pound John Doe rolls up on the fucking beach.

I needed her to plant a suicide story.

I had to kill that fucking movie. I mean, my God...

She doesn't matter. You matter. It's me and you that matter.

Forget about her.

Surprise!

I did everything for you!

We are all together again, just like old times.

Have you got my keys?

Do you like it? Do you think it's too much?

I think it might be a little tacky.

I think someone stole my keys.

Wait a minute.

So Pete had cooked this whole thing up to destroy a film that embarrassed him

and gotten Saskia and Joey to cover for him.

I wonder how many other jams his uncle Saco had gotten him out of...

KC, come on in the pool!

Not now, Joey. - You're not still sore at me, are you?

No, I'm not sore.

You saw Pete? - Yeah.

She wants to talk to you. - We've got nothing to talk about.

Don't talk like that. I think you'll like her.

Why would you think that? - Because you're a stubborn fuck who doesn't know what's good for him.

Hello, ladies. - Hey, Jack. Let's dance.

Hey, you! You passed my stuff off to the news?

Don't be mad at him, dad. - I'll get to you in a minute.

Did you? Good boy, son.

Pete always liked to make a big noise. And this time, he'd outdone himself.

There was one person, other than myself, who wasn't very impressed.

You mind if I sit?

As you like.

Why the sad face? Pete got what he wanted.

You should be celebrating.

Please KC, don't talk like this to me.

Pete was not my man. He never was.

See? You haven't forgotten how to lie to me.

Don't call me a liar. - What should I call you?

Fuck you! Shut up!

She threw a drink at you, yeah? - Thanks for my dog.

We are men, so we keep our word.

Here's to you, Saco. - Big deal. Here's to you, Munk.

Now we make a love movie? Mine, yours?

Why don't you make it with Pete? - Pete's Basmanian.

We Basmanian men, we don't pick a man till we go maddened.

It is the only way for us. He's not mad. But I'm crazy. And I'm mad.

And you have a madness in you too. Let me see.

That's it! That's a good madness.

I guess being crazy made me Armenian in Saco's eyes.

That night I drank like one, anyway.

So that's it? You're taking the cans of film? - Go on, go on, go on!

It's unbelievable, they want me back, KC.

Fucking, the film is fucking up. There's such a buzz about it now.

With the dead film, and the dead person in there, you know? - You know, you're still supposed to be dead.

Yeah, I'm the director who never died. I'm Elvis, but I've been sighted.

What happened to that whole "script was a piece of shit"?

Oh, yeah. No, because...

We don't want the film to fall down. It's our baby.

Learn fucking... Learn French, alright?

Because...

It's your words she fell in love with, right? Not mine!

I mean, she's wrong, you know? She's French.

Pete looked propped up, holding on to his words. Like, if he let the silence fall, it would never end.

He looked lonely out there. I think Pete loved us in his way.

Despite all he had done, I loved him back.

Bye, Jacko!

Au revoir, mate! - See you later, Pete!

Auf Wiedersehen! Bye! French!

The man was never any good without you, KC. - He has the negatives.

Really? There ain't no film in them cans. - What?

You know, the funny thing about donkey shit and film, it weighs just about exactly the same.

I heard him talking to some agent last night in the lobby phone!

He should have never called me Shemp.

What's the matter with Shemp? Shemp did some pretty good work.

I guess.

You got the cans but you ain't got negatives in the cans

I found this at the bar.

It's pretty, you should keep track of it.

Saco, light them up! Watch this, baby!

Smalls is dead. - Dead. Deader than a dodo.