Original subtitles

There you are. My favorite person. My hero.

My pal.

My role model. Do you have a second?

No, this is my favorite cartoon.

No, I was talking to Mike.

Yeah, it's my favorite cartoon, too.

Mike, listen, I...

Look, I need you to drive me on a date tonight with a girl who quite possibly

could be your sister -in -law. Come on, Benny, get Mom or Dad to drive you. Oh,

come on, that would ruin everything. This babe is 15 years old.

Oh, 15, a ripe woman. Good work, Benny.

What's a ripe woman?

Uh, well, Jersey, it's kind of hard to put into words.

Is kale ripe?

Like you guys are so hot.

Please, will you drive me? This girl is like no other girl I've ever met. She

actually likes me.

Well, this I gotta see. All right, I'll drive you. Great. And I also need you

to... What was that?

I need you to find a date for Trisha's brother who's home from college.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You expect me to find a date for this crazy girl's brother?

Look, I'm just asking you for one woman. You've got hundreds of them. Well, not

anymore. I mean, just lately I've been seeing one. Kate.

Well, she's a little tall, but okay.

Betty, we have a very special relationship.

I'll wash your car for a month.

Does that include White Wolf?

No, no, that would be wrong.

I am desperate. Where am I going to find a college -age girl who's available on

such short notice?

Sam, I'm just driving you and this girl. Why do I have to meet her parents?

Why? So they can see what a safe driver you are.

Well, that is true.

Oh, and by the way, if Trish's brother asked you, you were blonde until five o

'clock today.

What? Well, how else could I get him to go out with you?

I am not going on any dates.

Carol, I am bigger than you. I could kill you.

Hi, Benjamin.

Hi, Trish.

You're going.

What are you so worried about?

She's not so bad.

Not so...

Hi, I'm Brad.

Apparently, my brother has given you the impression that you and I are going...

Yale? Uh -huh.

Let's party.

Benjamin, wasn't that great? Oh, I love being upside down with you in that

skirt. How'd you like it, Carol?

Carol?

Boy, that was fun.

What's next?

Parachute drop.

How about it, Trisha, for a little free falling? Ooh, you're so nasty.

Um, I think I'm just going to sit this one out.

Oh, well, um, heck, so will I.

You know, a lot of people get nauseous.

Are you going to upchuck again?

No.

And I'm sorry about your shoes.

Look, I'm not really your carnival kind of girl. I mean, I'm more comfortable in

museums and theaters and libraries.

If you're a Shakespeare nut, I'm your girl.

Quote any line, I'll tell you what play it's from.

Holy moly, it's Erica.

In the red uniform.

Those lips. Those fingers.

Who? You the second trombone?

I used to date her.

Heck, we were practically engaged.

Talk about bad timing, huh? I meet a great girl like you, my old fiancé

back into my life.

See ya. See ya.

I took five years of piano lessons.

I swear it was an accident.

What? Haven't you ever heard of gravitational pull?

Where's your brother?

Ben, we're going home.

Oh, we dumped you.

For your information, he didn't dump me. I dumped him, okay?

We're going home, Ben.

Carol, please.

Take him to take you back.

Break his glasses if you have to.

You heard me. The carnival is over.

I'll find you another date.

Just give me two more hours. Have pity on a brother who has never done you any

harm. Yet.

Oh, Benny, you're nasty, aren't we?

So what does your brother look like?

There's no one running your ride.

Oh, let him spin, darling. I see a woman in distress.

I'll tell you what.

If you stop calling me darling, I'll go for a ride.

No problem, sweetheart.

Okay, where is that little weasel? I can't even smell him from up here.

Oh, no.

It's Brad.

Yale, it figures.

You can't see me alone on this thing.

Now what?

Don't worry, darling.

Wheels jam.

Well, I'm jamming. I dare not with single -bolt construction.

The bed's over there.

The bed.

I'm sorry I'm not used to carrying men around.

Does it hurt bad?

Oh, Libby.

Do you need some ice on it, Mr... Jake.

Jake Landau.

Hi, uh... Judy Jones.

Nice to meet you, Judy.

Oh, the complete works of William Shakespeare?

Yea, verily, sweet Juliet.

I like to read it in the lonely hours of the night.

Wow. You surprised?

Oh, no, no. It's just that I didn't think that you... Could read.

No, no, no. But I mean Shakespeare?

Life's but a walking shadow.

A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no

more. It is a tale told by an idiot.

Ben! What?

I have to go.

Stick around. I don't get much chance to talk Shakespeare.

I can't. I'm so...

It was nice meeting you.

Hey, Judy, wait up! Hey, Greg, I see you found a live one. Show her a good time

yet?

I'm working on it.

You saw the page. Me, they laugh at.

I don't care.

Ben!

Ben!

Ben! Ben!

He's not here.

Good. The kid's not here.

No luck, huh?

No. The kid's probably having so much fun he lost track of time.

There's nothing wrong with having fun.

Oh, I didn't say there was.

My idea of fun is a little bit different.

You tried the whip.

Excuse me?

The whip.

Oh, you mean the ride.

Well, I'm not really the whip kind of girl.

Give me five minutes.

I watch them from up there every night.

Here comes the grand finale.

I just thought they'd have to be getting home then.

Why?

Well, because the carnival's going to be over.

Maybe.

Everyone's going to be going home.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for them to leave.

What are you talking about?

When they're gone, it'll be our carnival.

Never had my own carnival before.

Then you do.

This is when I like carnival best.

Nobody here, but if you listen real close, you can still hear the laughter.

You never have to go home.

You get to stay here every night.

Yep.

So what's your pleasure?

Well, we haven't tried the parachute drop yet. If you're in for a little free

-falling. Oh, Ben!

I forgot about my brother. Judy, relax. He probably found another way to get

home.

Well, no, I'm not worried about him. It's just that, well...

I've never forgotten that he existed before.

What a wonderful feeling.

So you're not worried about it?

Let me show you my favorite place, where anything's possible.

Oh, I want to go here.

Oh, but this is just photographs. I'm talking magic.

I thought this was my carnival.

Oh, this is great.

You really shouldn't touch those costumes.

It's my carnival. I'll touch what I want to touch.

Touch, touch, touch, touch.

Touch, touch.

So, what costume do you want to wear?

Huh?

What do you want to be?

I don't know.

What do you want to be?

Well, what I'd like to be?

Well, I'd like to be a woman who's considered desirable and attractive and

fun.

but without giving up my intelligence or drive or dignity.

And I would love to have enough self -confidence so that I wouldn't be some

from Yale dumping me for me dumping him.

I think that costume's being cleaned.

Okay, then.

How about stripper?

Dress up. Just be in the picture with me.

You're a dangerous woman, Judy Jones.

A dangerous woman.

So, what do you want to do next?

What do you think?

Hmm? Hmm?

Ben, wake up.

What? What? Where's Carol?

Isn't she in her room?

No, but the car she drove is in the driveway. Explain that.

Uh, I can't. Can I?

Ben, level with us. Did Carol come home from the carnival with you or not?

No. Well, how did you get home?

You drove?

Again? No. I learned my lesson.

Trish drove.

I thought she was 15.

How'd she get a license?

I didn't say she had a license.

Nor did I say she learned her lesson.

Keep your eyes shut. Keep them shut.

Come on. Come on. Come on. You ready? Yes. This is the place. Open your eyes.

A fun house? You have no idea.

Come on.

Jake?

Jake?

Over here, darling.

Don't leave me alone like that.

Jake, over here.

There's nothing in here that's going to frighten you.

This is how I see myself.

You're the skinniest fat woman I know.

Well, this is how I used to look.

I don't believe it. This is how you looked to me.

Well, this is how I wish I looked.

This is how you look.

No, it's the mirror and the light.

No, it isn't.

How do I look in the mirror?

Terrific.

How do I look in person?

Terrific.

What does that tell you?

I like the way you look.

You take my breath away.

Is it getting a little warm in here?

I mean, maybe we should... You know, we could be so much more

comfortable staying in my trailer.

Trailer?

Well, don't get the wrong idea. I'd be happy to stay here, too.

Wrong idea.

Let's go to your trailer.

This isn't anything like I thought it would be.

What is it?

The trailer.

The books.

You.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

Particularly you.

It's perfect.

What's perfect?

Tonight, you make me feel so beautiful.

Look, what we're going to do here tonight, Judy, is...

I don't want to lie to be any part of this night.

My name isn't Judy.

What? I only told you that because I was afraid of letting a stranger get too

close to me.

My name is Carol Ann Seaver.

Oh, it's nice to meet you. And I'm 19 years old, and I live at home, and not

because I have to, but because I think I want to. It's okay. And I go to school

at Columbia in pre -law, but I'm not really sure anymore.

Look, I don't need to know all this. I need.

For you to know all this.

I need you to know me.

I know you're plenty.

I never really dated too much because I never really thought men were interested

in me.

Until you showed me.

Look, Carol, Judy, whatever your name is, I don't care.

You don't have to tell me anything about you.

Because I trust you.

Shut up.

What did I say?

Look, uh, it's getting late.

Why don't you go home or something?

I said something to upset you.

Good night.

Stop your crying, darling.

Nothing ever works out for me. Nothing.

You got it all wrong.

You don't know how well it worked out for you tonight.

something wrong with me.

Something wrong with you?

What are you doing? Looking at one of those funny mirrors again?

I'm just seeing things the way they are.

I'm not attractive to be with.

You got it all mixed up.

You're beautiful, Cal.

You can't go around waiting to hear from guys like me because you don't know who

they are or what they want.

They could hurt you.

I don't like that.

Oh, why?

Used to be.

Do you mean it when you said that I was beautiful?

Don't you listen.

Don't ask me.

Say to yourself, I'm beautiful and any guy who doesn't want me is a damn fool.

I can't say that.

Then nobody can.

Come on.

Say it. Now.

What? Out loud?

Yeah, shout it. People will hear me. That's the point. Shout it.

I, Carol Siebert.

Neither am I, darling.

Neither am I.

What the heck happened to you?

And why are you dressed like a gypsy?

Oh, yeah, Mark, I... I want to know what's been going on tonight.

Magic. Magic.

Mom, isn't this a wonderful place?

Well, I'll let you know after you tell me what you mean by magic.