Original subtitles

Hey. See ya.

Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?

Work. This early?

Well, I promised my boss I'd come in early so I could get off by four to make

freshman orientation at Columbia.

Oh, is that today?

Yeah, isn't that exciting? Well, I gotta go. Oh, honey, I remember how

devastated you were when Columbia didn't have room for you last semester.

Yeah. And I believe I said, Carol, why don't you use the downtime to take a

Your semester will be around before you know it. I've actually enjoyed working.

Which I believe I also predicted.

Well, it's time for Columbia University and I am ready.

Yep, yep, yep. Which is exactly what I knew she... Right.

What are you doing here?

Mr. Carpenterio, don't you remember I said I'd come in early? You mean nobody

called you?

About what?

You don't work here anymore.

What? But I'm the best page break clerk in the department.

Not anymore.

And before you go, I'd like to say a few things. Well, there are a few things

I'd like to say, too.

You are not a very good boss.

What? And somebody should tell you this because it might do you some good. You

have major B .O.

Because I'm being fired. You're not being fired. You're being promoted.

Have you ever been alone with yourself in an elevator?

Pardon me?

Those punks in punctuation heard how good you are and they're stealing you to

their manager.

I'm a manager?

And do you know who told them all those good things about you?

Your smelly ex -boss. That's who.

is due here any second, and his office has got to be perfect.

I don't want to give him any excuse to fire me and bring in his own secretary,

who he's probably having an affair with.

Excuse me, I think I'm your new manager.

You're Mr. Fever?

I am.

Ever said anything to your boss you regretted?

That he smelled bad?

Miss Bieber.

Oh, please. Call me Carol. Hi, I'm Leslie, your secretary.

Oh, I'm sorry, but I have my own secretary.

He's pumping up at the gym today.

I'm kidding.

Oh, wow. A boss with a sense of humor.

This is my office?

Uh -huh.

You know, I expected a guy.

They're always guys.

asked me to call them by their first name, except once at a Christmas party

the Xerox machine.

What should I do first?

Should I learn my new job?

Call Mike and gloat.

I'm just asking if my grades stay up and if Gary's parents say it's okay, and if

I promise to obey the chaperone, would you have any objection to me going on a

ski weekend.

Oh, what did your father say?

He has no problem with it.

Hmm.

Did you ask your father?

He has no problem with it.

So you didn't ask your father.

Well, I kind of figured I'd start at the top and work my way down.

Uh, okay.

Hi, Ben.

Hi, Chrissy.

Dad, you remember that ski trip you said I could go on if Mom said it's okay?

He said okay.

Yeah!

I've just been outsmarted by a 13 -year -old. Well, he got me, too. It's tough

to resist a little tyke when he looks at you and says, I'm starting at the top

and working my way down.

Don't start whacking those skis yet, young man.

Hi, guys. Hey, Mom, listen, I've got a pay -per -view tomorrow, so I'm just

going to get some dinner and take it up to my place, okay?

Fine. Okay. Go ahead.

Deprive me of the single chance I have each day to enjoy the oneness of my

brood.

Okay.

But I told everybody I was going.

When? Yesterday.

You guys will never believe what happened at work today.

Carol, we're in the middle of something very important here. No, we're not.

We're at the end of it. I got a promotion. I'm the manager of the

department. Oh, honey, that's wonderful.

Yeah.

Oh. So, Carol, were they disappointed at work when you told them you couldn't

accept the promotion?

Well, why would I tell them that?

Because you're starting Columbia University in two weeks.

Right, right.

Oh, how was the freshman orientation?

That was today, wasn't it?

You didn't go?

I completely forgot.

I forgot, too. Did you say I could or couldn't go?

Couldn't. Well, I'll just catch the next orientation. I'll have my secretary put

it on my calendar.

You have a secretary?

a ski trip.

Okay.

Philosophy, anthropology, calculus, political science, English literature,

French, and German.

Now for Tuesday.

Hey, Carol, listen, I have this paper due tomorrow, and I wanted to know if

could look it over for me. How much?

Oh, from the bottom of my heart.

No. How much are you going to pay me?

Pay you?

Forget it.

I'll be washing my hair. Every minute you wait, the price goes up.

Yeah, well, who needs your help? I'm perfectly happy with the tea.

Hello?

Okay, just a minute.

Carol, for you, some guy.

You expect me to fall for that?

I'm sorry, she doesn't know any guys.

Well, she can't come to the phone right now.

If you must know, she's in the can.

Is there really somebody on the phone?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. He said he's from your work. He said it's an emergency.

Well, that's impossible.

You expect her to climb off the throne for that.

Hello, this is Carol Seaver.

Bill, sure I remember you.

No, you didn't pull me away from anything.

I have to approve the text?

I've only been the manager for one day.

Uh -huh.

Well, I guess if I didn't check the file draft, I should say no.

Right?

Okay, bye.

Mike, a $50 ,000 press run was set up to start tonight, but they needed my

verbal okay.

Oh, wow, a $50 ,000 press run?

Yes!

I didn't know they printed money there.

Get out. Ow.

What did I say? What did I say?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Did I tell you that was a great book or what?

I have 400 pages in and I can't put it down.

Yeah. You get to the part yet where they find out that Mr. Shepard is just an

alias and he's really the dragon.

He's the dragon.

Oh.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

No,

Ben, we haven't changed our minds. No ski trip.

Am I interrupting something?

Not tonight.

Well, I wanted to talk to you about the right time to quit my job.

Well, honey, it's customary to give about two weeks' notice. Well, that's

what I meant.

I don't think I want to quit.

Oh, wait a minute.

Does this end up with you asking me if Ben can go on a ski trip?

Mom, I'm serious. I don't want to go to Columbia next semester.

Not go to Columbia?

You're kidding with your grades and your scholarship and your dreams. Oh, honey,

don't go off half -cocked here. Let her finish.

Fine, I'll go off half -cocked then.

You see, I was thinking. Thinking? And where do you get this behavior, huh?

talk this out with someone who's rational. No offense.

Well, your father understands.

Jason, will you give us a minute?

Oh.

Well, you don't have to leave. Just don't say anything.

Fine.

I'll just read a book.

only supposed to be a temporary job.

Which was your idea, and thank you. You're welcome.

But with this promotion, I'll get more time in the workforce, which you said

a good idea, and again, thank you.

You're welcome.

But it'll only be for one more semester, and Columbia will be waiting for me in

the fall. So I don't see how a reasonable person like yourself could

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, Carol, I know that getting a promotion and being entrusted with all

responsibility is pretty heady stuff.

It is. But I'm sure you've asked yourself this.

Is this new job really worth putting my 12 years of preparation on hold?

Well... Because a lot of people, you know, once they lose sight of their

they never quite get a fix on them again.

You think that's what I'm doing?

Do you?

Maybe.

Well... Sweetheart, it's your life. You gotta make your own decisions and call

your own shots. I just hate to see you lose your momentum for college.

You're right. I'll give my notice tomorrow.

No, no, no. Only if you want to.

I do.

Thanks, Daddy.

And thanks, Mom, for not saying anything.

It's just a phase.

Sometimes I want to talk to the mom. Sometimes I want to talk to the dad.

Let's just be thankful she's talking.

Jason, the watchmaker did it.

Morning, Carol.

Leslie, who's my boss?

All department managers report to Mr. Littlefield.

Well, could you tell him I have to see him right away?

It'll take weeks.

Well, I can't wait. I'm going to Columbia in two weeks.

Do you think that's wise with that whole drug thing going on down there?

Could you just call him?

Morning. I have the press run deadlines for next week. Oh, thanks, Ray. Sure.

Wait, what kind of a guy is Mr.

Littlefield? VP?

Oh, he's a great guy.

Yeah? Well, how do you know him?

Last year we had a major screw -up and he came down.

He reamed half of us and he fired the other half.

So how is he a great guy?

I'm still here.

Not... if Mr. Littlefield going to see you today, he's coming here now.

He is? You're kidding.

You're more important than I thought.

Carry on, troops.

You're Carol Seaver.

Yes, Mr. Littlefield. Please, please, I'm Warren.

I didn't expect you to come down here and see me. Oh, nonsense. I wanted to

down and welcome you aboard yesterday, but I got tied up.

Not literally, of course.

Hey, that was a great call last night.

Great call? You saved us 50 grand by stopping that press run. The copy was

ready, and you made the right decision.

Well, thank you. I've got my eye on you, Carol.

This is just the start of big things for you here.

Really? Now, what was that, uh...

urgent matter you want to talk to me about?

Well, see, I, uh... Well... This is my life, and I have got to call my

own shots, and I am not quitting.

You're not?

No.

Oh.

Well, this has been a productive meeting.

They hurt me.

But all the other kids are going to go skiing.

Well, we're not all the other kids. Parents, we're yours.

Benny, did you tell them about the hot tub?

Everything's going to be cool.

Gary's older brother is home on leave from the Navy.

He's going to be watching us the whole time.

A 19 -year -old tailor is not my idea of a chaperone.

But, Carl, I think I'm a total weenie.

Girls are going to?

Are you two as shocked as I am?

Hi, honey.

How did it go?

You're right.

It's my life, and I have to call my own shots.

So I'm taking your advice.

I'm keeping my job. Thank you.

young lady.

Stay.

Carol, don't you take another step.

I thought that we covered this matter last night. Jason, if you start

again, I swear I am going to go on that ski trip with the 19 -year -old sailor.

Mom, don't you understand this was my decision to make? Well, maybe we

miscommunicated last night, Carol.

Not at all. Did you or did you not say this is my life? Yes, but I... And did

you or did you not say that I had... I have to call my own shot. Oh, yes. And

did you or did you not say... Did you or did you not say you were going to

Columbia and quitting this job?

Well, we know it wasn't me.

I thought you trusted my judgment.

So did I.

But since that didn't work, I'm going to lay it out for you, Carol. You're not

dumping 12 years of preparation over some goofy job.

Goofy job?

Come on, Maggie. We've been counting on it. I mean, straight A's, class

valedictorian, full scholarship to Columbia.

And she's not going to throw it all down the drain. No, over my dead body.

Oh, Jason, you're not reasonable.

I love you.

Maggie, reason is my cover. Inside, I'm as wacko as you.

Jason, I have never seen you like this.

Well, what am I going to do, Maggie? I mean, I'll never forgive myself if I

don't graduate from Columbia.

I mean, if we don't, if she, if her doesn't, oh, you know what I mean.

I'll go up and talk to her.

Dad,

about the ski trip deal, I feel I have to call my own shot here. Oh, oh, oh,

oh.

Oh,

I'm glad you're here.

Here's my Columbia course catalog.

classes. I want to make sure there's no miscommunication.

Carol, you can pick out your own classes.

Oh, gee, I don't know if I'm up to that.

Carol, I'd like a better attitude than this.

Whatever you want.

Look, Carol, I think you're expecting too much from us if you think we'll

a major change in your life's direction without an argument.

Now, I know you say it's only temporary, honey, but how can we be sure?

I'm sorry if our expectations are a burden, but...

You brought that on yourself when you started reading at the age of five.

Four and a half.

Yeah.

You know, honey, just between us, and if you ever repeat this, I'll deny it, you

have a gift that, frankly, your brothers don't have.

There's so much you can do. You have so many opportunities.

are reporting to me.

I'm running a department.

I've never had that.

I mean, my first month there, my hands shook every day.

And now when people come and see me, little me, their hands shake.

I'm not changing my direction.

I'm finding it.

This job is more important to you than school?

Yes, right now.

I mean, sometimes I get the feeling that it wouldn't be me who would be

graduating from Columbia. It'd be you and Dad.

Oh, Carol, how can you... Look, honey.

Just promise me that it will only be for one more semester.

Oh, yes. Anything, Mom. Thank you.

Wait. Why are you being so reasonable?

Well, you can't sleep with your father for 21 years and not catch a little

something.

You know what I mean.

If I were you, I'd hold off on that.

Excuse me, I'm here to see Carol Stever. Your name?

I'm her father. She invited me to lunch.

Daddy, you're early.

Yes, well, I drive fast when I'm tense.

Go ahead, go ahead.

This is my office, and these are all... So where are we going to lunch?

Anywhere. I just thought that if I could show you... There's nothing you're

going to show me, Carol, that's going to change my mind. Now, if that's why you

invited me down here for lunch, then you made a big mistake.

Well, I just thought that if you came down here... Carol, they need you in

layout. They said it's an emergency.

Well, I can't. Go ahead. Go, go, go. I'll wait here. All right, I'll hurry.

Office.

It's a cubicle.

Is the boss around? The boss?

Yes. Miss Beaver, hold me...

Oh, Carol.

No, she just stepped up for a minute.

Darn it.

I got her to start these galleys. We've got a whole press run waiting to go.

Well, she'll be right back. Just leave them with me.

Can you be trusted?

What do you think?

for a minute.

No, I can't approve anything. I'm just, uh, I'm her father.

Yes, yes, I'm very proud. Very proud.

Dad. Oh, here she comes.

Sounds important.

Yes?

No, I need it today.

No, it must be today.

I'll sign off any overtime, but I want to see it on my desk by the end of the

day.

Bye.

I know I'm not going to change your mind. I really don't want to get into an

argument here.

You're the boss.

Yeah.

My little girl, imagine this.

Dad, I'm not following. This isn't a goofy job, Carol.

Do you want some water? You've got your own cubicle here.

No, I mean, you've got an office. You've got real plants. You've got furniture.

You have people coming in asking you to solve problems.

I'm doing all right here.

I mean, we're... You and I... We're... You.

You. What?

I'm saying I'm so proud of you.

So I don't have to quit? You have to. Come on. No, honey, I was never going to

force you.

Maybe.

Daddy, have I ever let you down?

No. No.

I wish I could ask you the same question.

Daddy, thank you.

I promise, next fall, I'll be a freshman at Columbia just like you wanted. No,

you won't.

What? No. I want you to go where you want to go.

But I hope it's Columbia.

Let's have lunch.

I'm buying.

Are you going to get my daughter's name on this door or are you going to sit

there gnawing on your salami?

We'll be back in a moment.

Just wanted to buy some paste.

Hey, you never know.

I mean, look, you feel like you're going to run into a couple of hot babes like

them. Not a shot.

Well, hello.

Are you sure we should be doing this?

Oh, come on, buddy. That's what we were put on this earth to do. We're guys.

When I say now, you pop the clutch. Like I said before, I got it. That was then.

This is now.