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Last time on Growing Pain... It's time for another deeper family meeting and
none of you's going anywhere!
Dad wanted a family vacation.
Takes your breath away, doesn't it?
So what's it gonna be, folks? Florida or... Mally! He thought we were all
excited about the idea.
Mally would be okay!
But there was trouble ahead.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, a shark!
Mom had to work on a story.
That explains why you've been too tired to socialize.
Yeah, I love history, too. Carol found there was another fish in the sea, while
Mike enjoyed the local culture.
Looks like someone's joined my tour without paying.
Hey, I just bought me.
Aloha, Mike. Did you remember to bring your son?
Hey, I haven't been able to think about anything else.
So tonight, let's see what happens to our vacation in Maui.
Someplace neat. Come on.
Come on.
Uh, you know, there's dead people here.
Sure. My great -grandfather, his father, and my great -aunt Loki.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm sure they're very nice people.
Uh, quiet, well -behaved.
Just follow me.
Look, where are we going?
To heaven.
Exactly how do you mean that?
Show me that smile again. Oh, show me that smile.
Don't waste another minute on your crying.
We're nowhere near the end. We're nowhere near the best it's ready to
As long as we got each other.
Everybody owns this.
Oh, yeah, you know, that's kind of like a state park. See, we got this back in
Long Island.
There's so many people and all the graffiti all over the place.
This is a great beach.
You know, I mean, you got hand and shells to work.
Why are you so nervous?
I'm not nervous.
I'm not nervous.
Oh, boy.
Is it because you haven't spent much time alone with them?
Um, what are you kidding?
I mean, yeah, I guess you could say that I haven't spent nearly enough time on
it.
It's okay.
I like that.
Usually boys from the mainland talk to me like they know everything and I know
nothing. Just because I've spent my whole life on it.
Oh, well, trust me. I know less than any guy you ever met.
I sense that about you.
You know, I sense something about you, too.
From the moment you said aloha.
You can say it again.
Aloha.
Aloha. Aloha.
I'm going swimming. You did say you brought your trunks, didn't you?
Oh, uh, right.
What's this? This is a hollowed -out pineapple with booze in it. Why, did you
get what, the thermonuclear device?
I didn't order that. Yeah, the lady in the far corner said it.
I'm married.
A blonde Twinkie over there.
All right.
Hi,
good looking.
I'm Roxy.
I'm Raul.
I'm Ted.
Can I buy one of those?
Oh, any time.
Right.
So, you live here?
Of course not. This is a hotel getting game.
No, actually, I'm here visiting with my family.
Are you really?
Me too.
But I'm afraid that I behaved a little selfishly and stupidly towards my
husband.
And all he wanted was just to have a family all together.
Sounds like a hell of a guy.
Well,
it's no exaggeration to say that he's married to a pretty terrific lady.
Why, thank you.
You are more than welcome.
Boy, I wish that my husband weren't easy to talk to if you are old.
If we were here right now, what would you say to us?
I'd say, Jay.
I just wired the last part of my story.
And from this moment on, I'm here for some family.
Well, they have a great thing in this hotel, you know, called Room Server.
Send it right to your room.
They can eat it in your underwear.
This is a typical old -fashioned native home.
Oh, uh, nice.
Do you like it? Yeah.
Uh, do you know these people?
I live here.
Oh, I love it.
Oh, this is nice.
So what time does your family expect you back?
Ma, hey, what family?
Malia?
Aikopuna? It's my grandmother.
Oh, you live with your grandmother?
What?
And my grandfather, and my mother, and my father, and my uncle. Oh, gosh, you
live with all these people?
Uh -huh.
Oh, well, I bet you can't wait to move out of here.
Why would I want to do that?
Well, because, you know, you never have any privacy. Your life probably isn't
your own.
Yeah, but it wouldn't be any fun without my family.
Tell me you had a little sister.
No, this is my daughter.
Luna, this is Mike. He came all the way from the mainland to visit us.
Mike, this is Luna.
How's it going?
Oh,
wait, we've got to check on the kids.
Ben's asleep. Am I still out?
Oh, we should wake her.
It's for you.
If Bobby calls, tell him I'm out.
Tell him I'll be out tomorrow, too. Tell him I've got plans.
Big plans.
Hello?
Susan, hi.
No, no, no, no, no. I can hear you just fine.
Uh -huh.
Well, okay, okay, when do they need it by?
Uh -huh.
Day after tomorrow?
Well, Susan, that means I'd have to come back right now.
Well, I know it's important.
I mean, I know it's important, but... Okay, okay, hold on.
Honey?
Aloha.
Yeah, right.
Early night tonight, Mike.
Yeah, it sure was.
What happened?
Ah, forget it, Dad. You wouldn't understand.
Well, try me. What's it about?
Women.
Yeah, you're right. I probably wouldn't understand.
See, Dad, I went out with this girl, okay, and she was beautiful. She was
gorgeous. She was perfect, Dad. And the only thing is that she turned out to be
not a girl.
What? Yes, he was a woman.
Well, how old was this woman? 17.
Oh, she's a girl. Oh, Dad, she has a girl.
She has a girl. Yeah, this girl, woman, Malia, she has a kid.
Well, this girl, woman with a kid, Mike, does she also happen to have a husband,
too? Not anymore.
Well, they're fine not anymore.
Well, see, she got married really young, and this dude turned out to be one of
these guys who just wanted to party and mess around all the time. You know, one
of those guys who only thinks about himself. You know the type.
Kind of, yeah.
Yeah, well, seeing Malia standing there with her little girl, it was weird.
Why? Well, Dan, in all the dating that I've done, let's face it, it's
considerable.
Usually the only kid involved is me.
Well, what you're realizing, Mike, is that every girl you date is a person.
She's always going to be somebody's daughter or sister.
Or mother.
weren't busy this morning.
Oh, gee, was it this morning you said was your day off when the hotel lets you
forget with the pool?
Uh, the pool with the gas.
Well, okay then.
Ben, can you point that thing somewhere else, please?
This is where the mushy stuff starts anyway.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
This is where the mushy stuff starts.
And I'm really sorry I'm so needed with the paper.
It's not your fault you're so successful.
So what are you going to be missing anyway? A couple of days relaxing in the
sun? Big luau that I made reservations for?
Me?
I'm kidding.
I'm fine.
I know that someday we're going to have a family vacation together.
I'm sure we will.
Well, I don't know, Ben, last time on a horseback ride. Hey, Dad, look, it's
Bobby! Hey, Dr.
Stever! Hey, Ben, what are you doing here?
Give me Surprise Carol.
Dad, quick, you've got to buy me some more videotape.
Arigatou gozaimashita. Bye -bye.
Bye -bye.
Sayonara. Arigatou gozaimashita.
Arigatou gozaimashita.
Are you trying to join my tour without paying again?
I don't know what I'm trying to do.
I sense that about you.
Well, that's fundamentally true.
But it's generally conceded that the Roman Empire fell when the Atalgencia
shifted its priorities from concern for the welfare of the empire to totally
selfish and hedonistic pleasures.
Tell me about it.
What are you doing here?
Now!
No, Carol!
Mommy!
Is that it?
Is that the best you guys can do?
So this is what's been going on behind my back, huh?
It is not. I spent seven days waiting for that phone to ring, which it never
once did. That's because I was working overtime to save enough money to come
here and surprise you.
Hi, I'm Hadley Barnes.
Oh, hi. I'm really stink.
Bobby! Hey, you guys!
Say cheese!
Hello, yeah, this is Dr. Fever. I had a reservation for five for your luau
tonight, and I have to cancel that.
Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
Well, who knows where the kids are, and my wife had to go back home to her job,
so...
Reporter.
Yeah, so anyway, just cancel it, okay?
Thank you.
Dad, Dad!
The horseback riding was fantastic!
You should have come!
I got this really neat horse that looked like the Black Giant, only its butt was
white!
Well, yeah... So what time's the luau? I mean, what do they do there? Do they
have a lot of food? Tell me, tell me!
You're quite a guy, Ben.
Why, what'd I do?
Well, you are the eternal...
You mean I need glasses?
No, I mean you and I are going to go to that luau tonight and we're going to
have a great time so you go get changed, okay?
Yes, Dr. Seaver? I just canceled that reservation for five for the luau and
like to reinstate it for two, please.
No, no, no, no. She didn't come back.
What they do is they take a pig and they stuff an apple in his mouth and they
put him in the ground and they roast him.
Well, he's still alive?
No, no, see... Hey, Dad, there's Bobby.
Yo, Bobby.
Hey, why don't you come and join us for the luau?
Oh, you don't have to be nice to me. Just, just care I'll cut my heart out
stomp that.
Nothing personal, Bobby. All the women in our family treat men that way.
Uh, fever party?
Yes, uh, party at two, I remember.
Well, there'll be three now.
Yeah, my sister's sulking, my brother disappeared again, and my mom flew home.
I heard she's reported.
close to the pool across.
That'll be perfect, thank you.
What's he doing in my seat?
Carol, we didn't know you were coming.
Well, I'm certainly not going to let him ruin my vacation.
Well, uh, do you have a table for four? I can go.
It's up to you.
Four? Do you, uh... I was waiting for the younger gentleman to respond.
He's staying.
Sway.
So? So?
Where's your boyfriend?
Henley is not my boyfriend. We were merely discussing the fall of Rome.
Carol, the man was greets in your back.
Don't make it something gross.
Oh, me?
Hey, look, I may be slow compared to you, but I know what I saw. I saw a guy
coming on to you. You're so beautiful and smart. Maybe you're used to that,
I'm not.
Beautiful? I was always afraid of losing you.
I never thought I was...
So soon.
You're afraid of losing me?
Why wouldn't I?
I don't know. I mean, I always thought that I would.
You're absolutely right, Bobby, honey.
Enjoy the luau.
Hey, everybody. This is Luna. It's Malia's little girl.
Hi. Yeah,
your mom has to work, and she's going to meet us a little bit later.
Hey, come on, don't play with the silverware.
Yeah.
Yeah, you gotta keep your eye on it all the time.
Hey, Luna, no.
Waiter.
Excuse me, I hate to say it, but I think we're gonna need a... Look, why don't
you just take that table over there? It seats up to 12.
Oh, yeah, thank you.
Hey, come on, Luna.
Don't play with the sand.
that you weren't ready for women with kids. Yeah, well, you know, I was
about what you said about there being more to girls than just the way they
You thought that?
Yeah. You know, I figured that, you know, everyone eventually ends up with
with kids. Can't be that bad, can it?
Well, Mike, you know, being part of a family isn't always easy, but it's
Luna, no!
Interesting.
Bye, handsome.
Married. What?
Mom!
Before you say a word, when I changed planes in Oahu, I called Susan at the
paper, and I told her that my family was just as important as my career.
You're here!
Jason, have you been listening to me?
You told Susan that?
Honey, are you one question off? Of course I'm listening.
So the story can wait?
No, she didn't say that.
Who? Susan. What?
She didn't say the story could wait. She said if I didn't realize how much the
paper was counting on me, then there was no reason for me to hurry back.
You're here!
Yes! I quit! You quit? Your job?
No, honey, no.
You've got to call her back.
Okay. Okay what?
No, I'm kidding.
Kidding about quitting or kidding about calling? No, I did quit my job and I'm
not calling anyone.
You're unemployed.
I don't think that's good.
Bill, maybe you should... Oh, Jason, shut up.
Finding another job is easier than finding another family.
Swept away.
No one in the world but you and I.
Gotta find a way to make you feel the way that I do.
I am swept away.
Get out of warning.
But next morning begins the day.
I was swept away.
I was swept away.
I hope I wake up soon.
Something about me changed forever.
Can't you see I'm swift away?
No one in the world but you and I. Gotta find a way to make me
feel the way that I do.
I am swift.
I've got to find
and accommodation were provided by the Maui Prince Hotel at McKenna Resort
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