Original subtitles

It's official.

Brock has lost his mind. No, I think it was official when Brock left me for you.

Why? What's the matter? What's up with Dad?

No way.

Brock got a motorcycle?

That's the funniest thing ever. Oh, no.

Not even close.

Just wait.

Guess what I just wrote up on?

A gay pride float.

A Harley.

Come on, Barbara Jean. Wait till you feel the wind in your face as we cruise

down the open road out behind the Walmart.

Great. At least today he's wearing jeans underneath his chaps.

Hey, everybody.

Hey. How was your seminar? Oh, it was excellent, and the hotel was top -notch.

It even had a coffee maker. In the bathroom!

I ate in there every day.

Oh, Elizabeth missed you so much. I'm going to go upstairs and tell her you're

here. Oh, Mrs. H, you should have gone to the seminar with me. This guy was

the Donald Trump of real estate.

I have so much to tell you.

I got something to tell you, too.

Yesterday morning, there was a message on the office voicemail from Steve

Norris. Norris Realty, Steve Norris? Yeah. They're like the biggest firm in

city. What do you want? Oh, nothing much.

Just a meeting.

You know what I think this means, Van?

He wants us to join him.

No way. We can't just leave our company.

Why not?

Realtors move to different agencies all the time. Well, that may be so, but I'm

not that kind of person. I'm a loyal guy, Mrs. H. Ever since I was six years

old, I have never brushed my teeth with anything other than Aquafresh.

realistic. I mean, if our company could make more money by getting someone to

replace us, they'd do it in a skinny minute.

It's just business.

Just business? Well, sorry, Mrs. H. If you take loyalty and ethics out of

business, you know what you have?

Television network?

With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter, I'm a

survivor.

What's up, James Dean?

Hey.

Brock,

you all right? Never better.

Look, check it out. It's an electrical stimulation belt. It's like doing 2 ,000

sit -ups in an hour. I'm going to get my six -pack abs back. Remember them?

No, but I remember your man girdle.

Listen, Brock, I need to talk to you about something. This phase you're going

through with buying the motorcycle and wearing the leather outfit and...

electrocuting your belly fat.

I mean, it's kind of weird.

Funny,

but kind of weird.

What's going on?

Nothing. Rock.

All right, Reva, I'll tell you.

Barbara Jean looks the best I've ever seen her, and I want to do the same for

her. Okay, I may choke on these words, but here they come.

Rock, you're a good -looking man.

A good -looking man of 50.

Why do you have to be more than that?

Reba, you don't have to tell me I'm good -looking.

I know that. I'm not an idiot.

But don't you see? That's actually the problem.

How so?

Well, I've always been the best -looking one in all of my relationships.

You do. remember that we were once in a relationship don't you what's your point

well my point is

switching

firms wouldn't be loyal

First Realty could be a huge opportunity for you guys.

You know, I can never figure you out. You're the one person I would expect to

agree with me. Ever since you got sober, you're always whining about doing the

right thing. That was a faith, okay?

Now, I'm comfortable with my sobriety, and I'm going back to thinking what's

best for me.

I mean, us.

Really? You mean you're going back to that vain, shallow chick I fell in love

with? Welcome back, honey.

Look, I really think that you should do this.

Look, there's more to this than just loyalty. Our company doesn't see me as

mom's assistant.

They see me as her partner. They know how good I am. Well, so would these

guys. No, Steve Norris doesn't know me from Eve.

He thinks I'm the assistant.

Maybe he thinks that now.

I mean, who cares, man? After hearing you talk at the meeting, he's going to

know how great you are. Hearing me talk?

I don't see that happening, Cheyenne. Your mom can be a little... Okay.

Set the meeting.

But tell Mom it's later than it really is. Get a little alone time with him.

Yeah, by the time she shows up, he's already going to be impressed with you.

I love that idea.

I'll set a lunch meeting. At my seminar, they were teaching us how to impress

people with lunch meetings. You tip big and order things that aren't on the

menu. I could order, like, yak.

Hey, Mrs. H!

I rethought what you said, and I'm in. I'm going to set the meeting with

Oh, yeah. Now remember, Van, let me do most of the talking, okay?

Oh, you know me.

I'm not one to yak.

Thank you.

This is for you.

And this is for the valet.

And this is for you giving that one to the valet.

Van Montgomery.

Steve Norris. I like your style.

Tips are like peanut butter.

You gotta spread it around.

Can I bring you something to drink besides water? First of all, thank you

the water.

And that's for the guy who made the ice.

Something to drink, let's see.

Do you have pomegranate juice?

No, I'm afraid not. We have orange, tomato, apple, grapefruit, and

you have tangerine juice?

No, sorry.

Watermelon?

No. Raisin? Plum?

Garbanzo bean?

I've never even heard of... That's right, I'll just stick with the water.

No hard feelings, huh?

I like a man who doesn't settle for something he doesn't want. You should

ordering cheese.

Steve North, graduated MacArthur High School, class of 1980.

Married 22 years to the former Ann Peterson.

Two children, a boy, Eric, standout wide receiver at SMU, and a daughter, Tara.

Just graduated from Bucknell University with a degree in chemistry.

I Googled you.

That's very impressive, but that's not me.

What?

Hey, I wish it was me.

My wife left me and my son flunked out of beauty school.

Stupid Google.

Great, now you probably think I'm an idiot.

Why, because you tried something?

That's what's impressive.

Besides, you don't need to know who I am.

I know who you are.

Yeah, right.

I do.

You are one of the hottest young real estate agents in town.

I watch the MLS.

I see how you move properties with innovative ideas.

Like that place on Garfield. It's set for eight months until you got the

listing. You sold it in two days.

I hired a Kliegelite, did the show, and at midnight... I know, I was there.

I still have the balloon animal.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

It's a wiener dog.

So it makes me wonder what you could do with a larger inventory.

Like, say, ours.

Oh, man.

I watch the MLS, too. You guys have the best listings in town.

Thanks.

You know, Van, I'm beginning to think that this is one of those meant -to -be

situations.

Should we order cheese?

Oh, hey, there's Reba. Let's just keep that Google screw -up between us, okay?

Why is Reba here?

Van, I'm not interested in Reba. I want you.

Yeah, but Reba and I are partners. That's the offer.

Oh, hi there, Reba Hart.

Hi.

So, now that we're all here, let's get this meeting started.

Actually, I don't think...

there's anything for us to talk about. Yes, there is. No, there isn't.

Comes down to loyalty, Mr. Norris.

And thank you for your time.

Okay,

he's not taking up his messages and he wouldn't talk to me at the valet stand.

How am I going to kill him if I can't get in touch with him? Mommy, you have

to calm down. I told him, let me do the talking. But what does he do? He sneaks

off to the meeting early and then turns down the biggest break we've ever been

offered.

Finally. All right, you listen to me, fathead. You get your lying, scheming,

finagling butt back here to this house.

Oh, Mr. Norris.

Oh, no. I thought it was my minister.

Uh -huh.

No, he didn't tell me that.

Yes, I am very lucky to have such a loyal partner.

Yeah. Okay, bye.

They didn't want me. They only want Van.

Really?

I mean, what's up with that?

I'm going to kill him.

Why?

Why I'm going to kill him, this is an opportunity. He cannot pass up. He's got

to take that job. It's not going to happen, Mom.

I mean, Van has got a lot of screwy things about him, but they're mostly

screwy things, like loyalty.

But this is big, Cheyenne.

Big for him and big for your family.

Doesn't matter, Mom. Van is not going to take that job without you.

I was hoping it wouldn't come down to this.

Cheyenne, I'm going to have to break up with your husband.

Ma, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Hi -ching!

Hello, Gucci shoes!

No, no, no. Don't give me that crap, Dom. The deal was, the band gets the

you get the bar. So now, because we're packing people into your club, you want

to get a piece of the door?

No way.

That is a deal -breaker, my friend. We will walk away. I swear.

Yeah, I'd break my heart too.

What are you, crying?

I thought you were a hell's angel.

Sorry, I had to take that. What were you saying?

I was just asking if you wanted to have a pajama party tonight and watch Little

Mermaid with me.

Did you vote for Pedro?

Oh, the perm. Yeah, I thought I'd try something different.

Mission accomplished.

Sideshow Bob.

So, listen, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go to dinner. Good God,

what have you done?

What's the big deal? So I tried something different.

Different? Why don't you try something really different and be the same person

two days...

You're driving me crazy.

What is that supposed to mean? Yeah, well, what about you? You're reinventing

yourself every day.

Well, that's different. I'm young.

The truth.

No, you stop it. You stop it. You know what I meant. Oh, you better believe I

do. Is that what this is all about, Barbara Jean? Are you getting ready to

me for someone younger?

Oh, yeah. Well, you should talk.

What? You dumped my best friend Reba for a younger woman.

Yeah, you...

Are you suddenly acting like an idiot?

Because... Because you're just so beautiful.

It's not so bad.

Listen, honey, I'm not planning anything.

What I'm doing, I'm doing for me, okay?

Because it makes me happy.

Ah, okay then.

Okay. Guess I'll go wash this out. I don't think so.

Why not?

What do you think perm stands for?

I don't know.

Permanent.

Oh, God.

Man, I'm going to need a hat.

Hey, where's your mom?

I don't know.

All right.

Thanks for your help.

What's this for? Stop asking questions. Go.

Hello, man. Hey!

People know I'm here, Mrs. H. My car's parked right out front, so don't think

you can kill me and roll my dead body up in a rug, because we don't have a rug.

Relax, Van. We need to talk.

First of all, you know I care about you, right? Oh, of course. That's why I'm

holding a garbage can lid and wearing a cup.

Van, you're a great guy.

I just think it's time for a change.

Wait a minute. Are you breaking up with me?

We're in different places. We want different things.

You are breaking up with me.

No one's ever broken up with me before.

Sam, we used to laugh a lot, but we don't seem to laugh anymore.

This is about what happened with Steve today, isn't it? Because it's not what

you think, Mrs. H. It's not just that. Then what is it?

Tell me. I can change. We can laugh again.

Look.

Remember when I hit my head with the garbage can lid?

Oh, good times.

Stop it.

Don't make this any harder than it already is. I want to be...

What is that supposed to mean, that I'm holding you back?

You want to know the truth, Mrs. H?

Steve wanted me.

That's right.

He wanted me bad.

But I turned him down because of you, because for the last year that we've

shared a business card, I have never, not once, tried to get my resume in

someone else's inbox.

Dang it, Van, I already know that.

He called me. What? Yeah, he does want you. He wants you really bad.

And if you don't take this job, you're going to regret it.

Maybe not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

But soon and for the rest of your life.

Costa Blanket was on TV last night.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. So wait a minute. You're not breaking up with me?

No. Yes!

No one breaks up with the man, man.

But you ought to break up with me.

And you've got to take that job.

Believe me, if he offered to take me and not you, I'd go.

No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would!

Maybe not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

Oh, I'll forget it.

Mrs. H, I am not going to leave you. My fan.

No, listen. You took me in during my darkest hour.

You put a roof over my family's head.

You gave me a career.

Heck, woman, you saved my life.

I mean, so what if you're a little...

You really are loyal.

Yeah, I am.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go brush my teeth with Aquafresh.

Hey, what's that?

This is your dad's sit -up machine.

It's an exercise machine for old people who don't want to exercise.

It's called the I'd Give Up 2000.

So, what's it do?

That's all I can tell. It doesn't do anything.

Hello. Oh, hey, Mr. Norris.

Van, you don't have it turned on.

Yeah,

yeah. Well, you know, it was a difficult decision for me to make.

It's just that Mrs. H and I...

Unbreakable team.

But, no, I really think that I would work well with you. I think I have

good people skills.

So, what?

Oh, no, I'm fine. I just have a little cold.

But, you know, I... Mr.

Norris, I gotta call you back, okay?

Come here, you little shrimp.