Original subtitles

I don't understand.

Does this mean Cheyenne's first wedding was fake?

Oh, no, honey. It's just that when two people have been married for a while,

they want to have another ceremony to celebrate.

So it's kind of like when you eat something that tastes really good, and

you burp and think, man, that tasted good.

Hey. Hey, honey. Oh, Mom, are those little rice bags for our ceremony?

Yeah. They're beautiful.

Oh, I hope they're okay.

But I'm going to need them back. I'm going to make rice pudding for the

reception.

Well, you know what, Mom? You don't have to go to all this trouble. I'm fine

keeping things on the simple side.

Well, honey, I'm just so excited.

I finally get to throw you a wedding where it's not on the same day as prom.

Well, I really appreciate it.

And thanks for letting Barbara Jean help out, too. Okay, gotta run. Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

Barbara Jean. All right, Mom. Look, Van and I decided that with your high blood

pressure and...

cramming everything into two weeks, but, you know, it might be nice if Barbara

Jean helped you out a little bit.

So you've asked Barbara Jean to help make my life easier?

Where have you been for the last five years?

Right. Mom, she's my stepmom, and she really wants to be involved. And look,

is really, really important to me that everyone gets along this time, okay?

Okay.

Don't give it another thought. Thank you.

Just don't let Barbara Jean get too wacky.

And good luck with that.

Okay.

Reba, I ordered a horse and a carriage, but can the horse stay over here?

You know, you got all those weeds in your backyard, and Thunder will love

You hired a horse and carriage? What happened to the white limo?

That's a little pimp daddy, huggy bear, 1985, you know.

I'm so glad you're wanting to help, but I know you're busy just being Barbara

Jean.

Look, I am perfectly capable of taking care of this ceremony on my own. Yeah,

well, your daughter doesn't think so.

And Reba, like it or not, I am way more qualified.

Who here has been married the most recently? Let me think.

Me.

I know, because I provided you with a husband.

Well, maybe.

It's time you stop beating a dead horse and get on with your life. No, I'll show

you a dead horse. Oh, right now.

Hi.

Everything okay down here? Yeah, just talking about horses.

Well, actually, one didn't have it anyway. Oh.

Well, I'm off to my 12 -step group. Oh, which reminds me, at the reception, no

booze and no open mic. Oh.

You got it.

We'll just be here getting along, honey. Bye -bye, Cheyenne.

Yeah.

We wrecked Cheyenne's last wedding because of our bickering, but that's not

going to happen again.

So we work together?

Yes. Horse in the backyard?

Yes.

Matching outfit?

Get out. Okay.

Look,

all I'm saying is this is our wedding. The only people who should be invited

people who are meaningful in our lives.

And Bill Gates.

He probably won't come, but he might send a check.

Fine. If we're just going to invite close family and friends, I guess I'm

with that.

Okay, you love birds.

I've wrangled the caterer, hired the musicians, and ordered programs, and

confirmed the minister.

Dang, I'm good.

Well, Mrs. H, that sounds fancy. Well, fancy is my name.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Reva, wedding crisis.

Talk her down.

Should we wait to see if she's going to jump first?

Relax, Barbara Jean. That idiot was me.

Oh.

Okay.

How y 'all doing?

Mom, that sounds like a lot of flowers for that small little room at the senior

center. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who's paying for all these flowers?

We are. Well, a wedding is nothing without flowers.

And we may need that many flowers.

Because you're not getting married as the senior sitter.

I got us a church.

The church? Really?

Oh, Cheyenne, you are one lucky girl.

Because your mother is a saint.

A saint with the cunning of a Bolivian street urchin.

Come on, Brock.

Now that we got the big church, our options are wide open. I'm thinking

show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're paying for the light show, right? You know, let the moth out of

wallet, okay?

So what do you think about all this?

I don't know, Mom. I'm worried. Barbara Jean's got that look in her eye.

You know, the same look that got us fireworks at Grandma's funeral.

This will not be a circus, I promise.

No elephants and no cotton candy, okay?

Okay. All righty. Thank you. You got it.

It'll be fun.

That's great, Mrs. H. Keep the cotton candy a surprise.

What are you talking about? Trust me, I know my wife, and she loves the circus.

If this is not the biggest, flashiest wedding of the year, she's going to be

disappointed. I'm not sure that's true. Trust me, it's true. Trust me, it's not.

Trust me, you're wrong.

Man!

Would you please just let me plan the wedding, and you stick to looking

I promise, both of you will be happy with it.

Mrs. H thinks I'm pretty.

What do you think?

I think somewhere Jesus is weeping.

I just decorated this church this morning. What happened? Your version had

certain been there, done that scene at boring quality.

This is supposed to look like a church, not your bedroom.

And are those live birds?

Yeah.

Nothing to the celebration like ten live... Make that nine live, Dove.

Just a sec.

Frederico? Yeah, we've got a Dove down.

Also, I've got a heart -shaped balloon deflated near the popcorn machine.

Well, what do you mean you are out of helium?

Why is your voice so high?

Who's Frederico? Oh, he's the wedding planner.

Well, he's not actually a wedding planner yet, but he's the best darn

waxer at Hair Apparent.

Oh, you're welcome, sweetie.

Gotta run, Rhett.

Whoa!

Check out this place!

And a giant picture of me?

You know what? You're right, Mrs. H.

I am pretty.

Van, everything was supposed to go through me. Did you know about this?

Barbara Jean called me and said that you decorated the place in a subtle shade

of dull, so I said, work it, girl.

I promised Cheyenne everything would be dignified. Oh, say the dignified for our

funeral. A wedding's supposed to be fun. You gotta have fun. And hey, Mrs. H, I

invited some single men of a certain age.

I'm sure there's fire left in the old gal, huh?

Gotta mingle. Love ya.

You look beautiful.

Oh, my goodness.

One day you're running alongside their bike, teaching them how to ride a two

-wheeler, and the next day they're getting married.

Again.

I was just going to say, it doesn't even feel like so much of a wedding. I mean,

nobody's yelling.

Look, honey, your father and I just want to take this moment to tell you how

proud we are of you.

Your mother's right.

You know everything you've done.

Everything you've become. Well, we just couldn't ask for a better daughter.

Guys, I love you so much. We love you, too.

And, honey, before you go out there,

well, your ceremony might be a little more flamboyant than what you

thought it might be.

Mom, it's okay.

Now that we're here, it's...

It's just important to me that I share this moment with my closest friends and

family. No, honey.

No, no. Three -minute warning, people.

Also, there's been a robbery at a liquor store.

I'm getting a lot of interference.

All right, honey, I'll be back in a few minutes to walk you down the aisle.

Remember, don't be nervous.

It's just like riding a bike.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Who are all those people out there?

Those are your guests, Cheyenne.

Somebody's a little nervous.

But I don't recognize any of them. Mom, do you know who they are? A lot of them

are Vance clients.

What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I got the business cards to prove it. It's like a real

estate seminar out there.

I cannot believe he'd do this.

I mean, we agreed that it would just be people that meant something to both of

us.

After all that we talked about, he packed the church with his clients?

Well, honey, it could be worse. It could be all family.

Oh.

Where are you going? Talk to my husband.

Yeah, but the ceremony's about to start.

Way to go, yappity -yap.

Now get out there and keep things moving, and I'll deal with this. Okay.

Frederico? Yeah.

Ma 'am, I don't care if you ordered pickles on your burger. Just eat it.

So he says to me, can I get an interest -free loan? Well, that's when I lost my

interest.

Hey, I'm not supposed to see you. It's bad luck.

How could you do this?

How could you fill the church full of your clients?

I think when you see the quality of their gifts, you might change your tune.

So you're going to blow off all my friends from the group?

Well, hey, it'll give you something to share at your next meeting. That's not a

joke to me.

Okay, you two, let's just calm down.

Now, there's a church full of people waiting to see you celebrate your love

one another, okay? You did not listen to a word that I said.

What are you talking about? This whole thing is for you.

For me?

I don't get why you're so mad.

That's just it, Van. You just don't get it.

Okay, and there's the music. Now, to sum it all up, Van's sorry, Cheyenne's

sorry, and we can finish this conversation at another time.

Van?

Would you escort me to my seat, please?

Sure. Excuse me for trying to give you the perfect wedding. Let's go.

Your daughter is nuts. I am.

Well, she is. This whole thing is for her, and she's acting like I'm some huge

jerk. And speaking of huge, I got a place by the lake to show you.

Now back to your nutty daughter. Okay, stop talking so I can just look happy.

Why is she jumping all over me?

I don't understand it. Hey, you, I got your crazy email, and the answer is yes.

Mrs. Hedges, are you okay? Oh, just all y 'all's arguments just making me a

little faint. Let me sit down and enjoy the ceremony.

Lights and music, we're a -goin'.

Ladies and gentlemen, here comes...

She's gone.

What do you mean she's gone?

She's gone. The bride's room is empty.

Oh, just for once, I wish she would get married without making such a fuss.

Gone?

How could she be gone?

You tell me. You're the one fighting with her. You were fighting with her? I

swear to God, boy, if these hands weren't my bread and butter, I'd rock.

I can't believe Cheyenne would do this.

This is just horrible.

Everything is wrecked.

Kill the doves.

Not literally, Frederico. Just no doves.

God!

Okay, nothing is wrecked. I'm going to go find Cheyenne and talk her down.

Barbara Jean, I need you to get in there and stall.

Hey, wait a minute. I've got an idea. Why don't we renew our vows?

What? Yeah, our anniversary is coming up. We could renew our vows and buy Van

and Cheyenne some time.

So what do you say, Barbara Jean?

Will you marry me again?

Oh, my gosh, honey. That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard.

And this time, it will be even better because I can celebrate with my best

friend.

I mean, I don't think Reba was totally happy for me the first time.

years later and it still makes me sick.

Okay, fine. Renew your vows. Play the banjo. I don't care. Just keep them busy

until I get back.

I am so happy I could scream.

Oh, I hope you don't mind, Van. I just sort of got swept up in the moment.

No, it'll be nice to have someone to split the cost with.

No.

No, Barbara Jean!

Attention, everyone.

There will be a brief addition to the program.

My husband and I are renewing our vows.

Sorry, Federico.

Sorry, sorry.

Cheyenne?

Anybody in here?

to be wonderful, but it still can be in a Harlequin romance novel

French bordella kind of way.

I can't go out there, Mom. I'm so mad I can barely even speak.

Van should have known better. Oh, I know, honey, and you guys can discuss

after the ceremony. Let's get out there and have some fun.

Oh. Cheyenne, how could you do this? How could you ruin everything? Are you

kidding me, Van? This wasn't about me. This was about your clients and showing

off. So what?

of you i'm proud of the things i've accomplished i thought you'd be proud

the things that you've accomplished okay let's keep this in perspective now we

got to remember the reason we're here is for you guys to celebrate your love for

one another yeah dan you were only supposed to invite people that were

meaningful to both of us my clients are meaningful they mean money okay you know

what fan the people in my support group mean something to me i wanted them here

too and and and also because when you're in love you always forgive the other

one. Do you know why I didn't invite your friends?

Because they depress me. All those people with all their problems depress

Ben, I'm one of those people.

And it's important to remember that weddings are very stressful.

So let's just take a step back and take a deep breath.

If Shia and I were married, I would have loved this wedding.

Well, maybe I'm not that person anymore.

No kidding.

I mean, what happened to us? We used to have so much fun. It's like I don't even

know you anymore.

I don't know, man.

I mean, maybe we're not meant to be together after all.

What?

Van, go after her.

Go after her.

Maybe she's right. Maybe we shouldn't get married.

But you're already married.

Oh, how could this day get any worse?

Reba, come quick. I want you to be my bridesmaid.

Oh, Reba, this is so beautiful.

Just like out of a dream.

You know, if Frederico accidentally let three doves escape, I caught two of

them.

The other one hit a window.

Barb Jean, let me go.

But you need to give me away.

I would love to if I could find any takers.

Let's stop touching now. You're kind of clammy. Hey,

what's going on with Ben and Cheyenne?

Okay, the kid's wedding is off.

Sorry.

They had another fight and they were in the bathroom, which is a bad place to

have it because the echo makes it sound far worse.

Oh, my gosh.

Are they going to be okay?

I don't know. I guess I better say something.

Frederico, Reba's going to speak. Give me a drum roll and a pin spot.

God, you are useless.

Hello.

Thanks for coming.

Traffic was nuts, huh?

Anyway, the kids had a little misunderstanding.

I'm sure they'll be okay, but... Oh.

Reba? Yeah, I'm okay.

Okay.

So if y 'all will just kind of hang in there.

I'm sure it'll be... I'm going to sit down just for a second, okay?

Reba?

Reba, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Who let the doves out?