Original subtitles

Although Latin American women have practically achieved the same. Excuse

Van. Hey.

Excuse me, Van. I'm trying to dust the furniture.

Well, can you do it later? I'm watching this show about women's rights.

Now, there's rugby socks on the table.

Well, all right, but this counts as one of my chores.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Rock, where's Jake? What do you mean, where's Jake?

What I mean is, we were married once and had a son.

At this time, do you know his location?

Wait a second, he's not here? Because I was supposed to pick him up and take him

over to Tammy Anderson's house. No, you were supposed to pick him up at Tammy

Anderson's house and bring him here.

Hey. Hey.

Jake, how'd you get home?

Tammy Anderson's dad gave me a ride.

And all the way home, he wondered how someone forgets their kid.

Me, too.

Hey,

I'm sorry, buddy. You know, your mom asked me to do it. I guess I kind of

it. That's okay.

Hey, Tammy's mom let us paint.

Let's have a look.

Oh, hey, did Elizabeth do that?

No, honey, that was Jake.

Recently?

at a bus stop. I call it. Where's Dad?

See you later, Dad.

Yeah.

Brock, you're a good father, but lately you just haven't been spending any time

with the boy.

I'm sorry, but I've been swamped. You know what? We're trying to get the

practice back on its feet and juggling two families. Geez.

I haven't even had any Brock time.

As I recall, it's Brock time that got you two families.

I'm just worried that it's starting to affect Jake.

You know, she's right, Mr. H.

You don't want to end up like that song about the boy and his dad with the dog

and the cradle and the rubber spoon.

Before you know it, he's going to be grown, married with a kid of his own.

Won't call as often as you like.

I got something in my eye.

Great. Now the other one's got it.

What's up with Van? The same thing happened with him and his dad. They were

never close.

He doesn't really like to talk about it, but he's getting better now.

Diane, I need you.

Hold on, baby.

Well, take your shoes off and ain't finish the table.

I'm going to be spending more time with Jake. I am going to coach him in

football. Isn't that great?

Are you talking about tackle football?

Reba, this is Texas.

You're lucky I don't tackle you right now.

I don't want him to play tackle football.

He could get hurt.

He's one of the smallest kids in his class.

Reba does have a point.

I mean, I was the only girl on my sixth grade football team.

And I ate boys like Jake for breakfast.

Which makes it all the more important that he learn not to let his size stop

him. Come on, Reba.

Kid living with his mom? Turn him into a mama's boy.

Jake's not a mama's boy.

Hey, Mom!

Where's the sewing kit?

It's where you left it. Hey,

tough guys sew, too, you know.

Look, Reba, tons of kids play football and they don't get hurt. You know, it'd

do them a world of good to get a little dirty, mix it up some.

Oh, Brock has a point.

When I played football, I got hit in the head all the time and it didn't affect

me.

Somebody get the phone!

You don't even know if Jake wants to play football.

Say what? Why don't we just ask him? Jake, come over here, killer.

What's up?

Listen, pal.

How would you like to have a great time playing football and being coached by

none other than your ever -loving dad?

Jake, you don't want to play football and get all sweaty and have people

slapping you upside the head all day long, do you?

Jakey, you know, on the one hand, you'd have girls cheering for you, and on the

other hand, possible head injury.

Although, honey, I played as a kid, and I'm fine.

Yes, that's my boy. All right, we're going to start workouts first thing

tomorrow. Cool. I can't wait to decorate my helmet.

If he wants to decorate his helmet, you let him.

You're not the boss of me.

What'd you say?

Oh, hey, Reba.

Here's a sport Jake's not too small to play.

Origami.

The ancient Japanese art of folding paper.

He folded a towel at our house once. Nobody got hurt.

Any chance you could fold your lips?

happened? Where is he?

Oh, you got nothing to worry about, Reba.

Oh, thank goodness.

So he's okay?

He was horrible.

Oh, God love him, he stunk on ice.

But he's not hurt, right?

No, Reba, no.

You can't get hurt in the fetal position.

To be honest, it was a little embarrassing.

Oh, please tell me you didn't say that in front of him.

Oh, of course not.

Did you roll your eyes?

No, I didn't.

Not even when he put the dandelion in his helmet.

But, honey, you can still put him on the team, can't you?

It's not up to me, Barbara Jean.

The Parks Commission makes the cuts, and Jake is going to be the first to go,

the poor little guy.

Where is he?

He was chasing a butterfly.

Or it was chasing him. I couldn't look.

Oh, Jay, buddy.

You need anything?

Chocolate milk, a cookie, something?

You want to come over to our place and fold some towels?

No, thanks.

Hey, Dad, I had a great time today.

Yeah, me too, buddy.

And the best part is... We get to spend every Saturday together for the rest of

the season.

Sure we will, Jake.

Sure we will.

I'll see you at home, Barbara.

So, Jake, you really had a good time today, huh?

Yeah. Really?

I mean, you could just spend Saturdays with me.

Don't be jealous, Mom.

A boy has to spend time with his father, too.

It doesn't mean I love you any less.

This is horrible, Barbara Jean. I know.

Because to me, that little old boy's heart's gonna be broken.

Can't believe I'm gonna say this, but somehow or another, we gotta get that

on the football team. Okay, Reba.

I'll coach him.

Not you, Barbara Jean. Somebody knows what they're doing.

He's not trying out for mascots.

Man, I think I feel so much better now that my dad and I have talked.

Honey, driving by his house and honking your horn is not talking.

He knows my honk.

Ben, I need you to coach Jake.

I thought you didn't want to play him football. I didn't, but he feels it's

important to spend a lot of time with his dad.

So you want me to teach him that the only way to win his father's love is by

playing some silly game?

Because let me tell you something, Mrs. Higgs. You can run around all you want.

And it's not, you know... I won't do it.

Someone's got to break the cycle.

I think he's doing way better with this.

Diane, I need you.

Right behind you, baby.

So, I bet someone who doesn't know what she's doing is...

I'll go answer the phone.

Oh, I knew it.

4950.

Ready or not, here comes Daddy.

Where's Elizabeth?

Where's Elizabeth?

I should only count to ten next time.

Hey, Anna, is everything okay? You were yelling.

It was fine.

Elizabeth just got scared, but Daddy made everything okay.

Why don't you go inside now? Yes, I think he's a freak now. Wait till you

dating.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Dating?

Yeah,

she's gonna grow up.

You're going to train Jake?

Hey, somebody has to. She might not be the most qualified, but at least she

doesn't burst into tears every two minutes.

And I happen to be extremely qualified.

After high school, I coached football professionally for a year at Gatesville

Women's Prison.

We would have won the Texas State Prison Tournament, except my quarterback was

shot trying to escape.

If you're going to make things up, why don't you make things up that make you

sound good?

Why do I even have to do this?

After I make the team, I'll just practice with Dad and the other kid. You

We're just making extra sure that that happens.

What do you mean?

Everybody that tries out gets on the team, don't they?

Well, um... Not exactly, no.

But don't you worry, Jackie.

If I can turn little arson Annie into a top -notch running back, I can help you.

But I thought everybody made the team. I'm not as good as those other kids.

That's okay. That's why we're out here with Coach Cuckoo.

This is bad. I'm the worst guy out there.

And two of those guys are girls.

Okay.

First off, let's lose the sexism.

Come on, look.

Even if... If by some chance you don't make the team, it doesn't really matter.

Hey, there's a lot of other things that you're really good at. But Dad doesn't

care about those things. Oh, yes, he does.

No, he doesn't. Not like he...

how the kid feels.

Oh, knock it off. You don't know anything.

Oh, yes, I do. I never had a relationship with my father either.

You're unbelievable.

You know that?

You're so busy with your little pity party that you can't keep the same thing

from happening to him.

This is a sensitive issue for me.

Okay, look, Ben, I'm sorry what happened between you and your dad, but that was

a long time ago.

My little boy is hurting now.

What do you want me to do about it? Help him!

Well, my dad never helped me.

He never helped me make the team.

Never came to the tryouts.

You can't impress somebody who isn't there.

Be strong, Van. Be strong.

All right, dang it, I'll do it.

But no halfway. That boy is mine.

Thank you, Van.

He's going to need a new pair of shoes, lots of water, and a pan of fudge

brownies.

Brownies? No questions. I've got to turn a boy into a man, and I get hungry.

All right, this time, run a skinny post.

On two. Hut, hut!

Way to go, bud. That's like 10 in a row you caught.

I thought it was 11.

Well, I don't count the last one because of the way you dance.

Never do that again.

All right, so we've gone over passing A+. Receiving A+. Now the only thing

is the fun part, hitting.

What about kicking?

Kick it.

Kickers are little wimps who are afraid to get hit, Jake.

I think I want to be a kicker.

No, you don't. Didn't you hear me? Hitting is the fun part.

Not when you're the one getting hit.

Wait a minute. Is this why you did so bad the other day? You're afraid of

getting hit?

Yeah. I also don't want to be lit on fire.

I'm weird.

I bet you think I'm a big baby. No, no, no. Listen.

When I was playing, I was afraid of getting hit, too.

No, you weren't. Oh, yes, I was.

Everybody's afraid of getting hit, but you can use that to your advantage.

See, you need to hit them first so they get scared first.

Now, we're going to do a play right now, but we're going to do it in slow

motion. I want you to try to hit me before I hit you, okay?

Got it. On go.

Ready, set, go.

Me!

You said slow motion. Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I messed up. Let's try that again.

Okay, here we go.

Ready, set, go.

Hey, no fair. Oh, I'm sorry. One more time. Ready, set, go.

That's right, Jake.

Whoa.

I like that feeling.

Still want to be a kicker? I want to hit a kicker.

Lesson over.

Yeah. All right. All right. Put it out. No. Get off me. No.

Jake.

I think you're so funny and you are so not.

Yeah? Well, you think you're so pretty and you so are. Well, shut up, Kira.

Hey. So, honey, what happened?

Was he hurt? Tell me he's not hurt.

He's hurt.

He's hurt. He landed in the dirt.

I will sell that guitar.

He's fine. He'll be right in. Did he do it? Did he make the cut?

Yes, he did.

He got banned.

What?

Banned?

Oh, good Lord, no.

Steroids?

He should have been there.

He was an animal.

He was in on every play. Running, jumping, putting the smack down on guys.

My son is a monster.

Okay, wait a minute. I don't understand. If he was so great, why was he banned?

Yeah, isn't that how you're supposed to play? Run around like a crazy lunatic?

Great sport, by the way.

Yeah, well, they don't want him playing like that at his age, so some of the

parents got together with the committee and they banned him for one year.

They called him an assassin.

Jake, can you believe it? So you just let them ban him?

Oh, no. No, no, no. I said, okay, if he can't play, then I'm not going to coach.

And what did they say to that?

They said that's what they were thinking, too.

So... they banned me. I can't coach for a year.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the assassinator.

Stay very still, folks. He's trained to hit anything that moves. He's 75 pounds

of ornery whoop -ass.

But he's so cute.

Watch it, cheerleader.

Thanks for the help, man. Hey, no problem, buddy.

Helped me, too. Gave me a chance to work through some of my failings. I can't

believe I spent all those years mad at my dad, because... Oh,

boy.

I'm gonna go call my dad.

You know, all of this has really helped him. I think he's had a real

breakthrough. I'm just glad I could have been there for him.

Cheyenne, I cast a machine!

Okay, this is getting old.

Well, Jake, I think this might be the first time you ever got in trouble with

anybody. I'm really proud of you. Come on, Mr.

Assassinator. I'm going to take you in the kitchen and buy you a soda.

I'll get it. Well, thank goodness you hear it, too.