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Why are you staring at me?
I can't help it. You're so cute.
I remember when you were three years old and you'd sit in your little car seat
and you'd play with your little toy steering wheel and you'd go beep, beep,
beep, beep.
Mom, come on, do it for me just one more time.
Beep, beep, come on.
Beep, beep, come on.
Beep, beep.
Thank you.
Now, for your test, remember, hands on the wheel at 10 and 2, feet on the
pedals, 7 and 4.
Just a little driver's humor there.
It's good stuff, Mom. Thanks.
Seriously, my test is in an hour. I just want to get a little practice.
Okay.
Crosswalk!
Barbara Jean, are you nuts?
Yes.
That's the point.
Kira has got to be prepared for anything.
It is crazy out there on the road.
It's not very sane here in the driveway either.
Okay, Kira, let's take a four -span around the block.
Oh, no, no, not yet.
Let's talk safety first. Now, before pulling out, always check your rear.
back from your practice drive already?
We haven't left yet. By the time we actually get to my test, I'm going to be
old to drive.
Kira, I'm just trying to prepare you for real driving conditions.
Get off the road, you idiot!
Learn how to drive, moron!
Seriously, I hear that all the time.
Hey, do you have a flashlight or a stun gun I could hit her with?
No hitting in the car.
Yeah, no hitting in the car.
Stop hitting my seat. Oh, how do you like me now? All right, all right.
it. Everybody out. Thank you. Kira doesn't need to practice.
Everybody knows.
You take a driving test in a cool car, you pass.
Thanks, Pam, for letting me use your car. I know you two have a special
relationship. Well, not so much anymore.
Cars are a lot like women. See, after a year or so, they... Let's go take that
test.
Okay, I'm set.
Well, gentlemen.
You wouldn't let your sister get eaten by a dinosaur, would you?
Do you know any?
Go upstairs and play in your room.
Okay.
Look at me.
I'm Mom.
I like bossing people around.
Is Tara back yet? Did you get her license?
I don't know. She better hurry up and get it soon. I only have one fingernail
left.
I just feel so weird, Kira, getting her driver's license.
It was like yesterday that I was teaching her how to ride a bike.
She'd ring that little bell.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Beep, beep.
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Beep, beep.
Hey, maybe we'll get lucky and she'll flunk.
Oh, she's not going to flunk.
I told her how to dress for the test. You know, shirt down to here.
Skirt up to here.
I've never even driven a car before I took my test.
I have a license to drive a car, a motorcycle, and an 18 -wheeler.
And yet, she's always here.
Your insurance rates are going up.
And listen, don't even worry about the insurance. Yeah, I got a pretty strong
feeling that the first person who walks in my office tomorrow is going to need a
root canal.
I say I got my engagement ring.
Congratulations, sweetie. What's going on?
Kira got her license.
Oh, congratulations, Kira. I remember when I got my license.
I felt so free. It was like a path for it to drive.
Yeah.
I just hope your picture turns out good.
When I got my license, my face looks like this. Yeah.
Not every time I get pulled over, that's the face I have to make.
You are so lucky, Kira.
The three months between when I got my license and when I got pregnant were
the best, most freest times of my life.
But I don't miss it. I mean, more than three months would have been way too
much.
Okay. Well, now that you've got your license, we have a few rules we need to
over with you. Yeah. I don't need rules.
Cheyenne drives, and she doesn't have a bunch of rules.
She's a wife and a mother. She's not going to do anything crazy. Exactly.
Between school and home, she's practically a prisoner.
A bird in a gilded cage.
Have fun at school, honey.
Yeah.
Cage a bird.
First of all, no friends in the car. And you have to tell us where you're going.
You can drive to school, to the library, and home.
What about Mexico?
Ring, ring.
Beep, beep.
Look, honey, I know it sounds a little strict, but maybe this will make up for
it. Cool, a picture phone.
And my picture is your screensaver.
Your picture's my screensaver, too.
Use it only for emergencies, okay?
Okay. I've got my emergency phone, and I know the rules, so can I have the keys
to go to the library?
Oh, yeah. Hey, that's a great idea. I'll drive.
Brock, let her go. We've got to learn to trust her sometime.
Here, honey.
Have fun.
Buckle up. Lock the door. And check your rear.
Love you.
Love you, too.
And keep that phone on.
Trust her?
What is wrong with you?
Come on, Barbara Jean, let's trailer in my car.
Wow, Mrs. H., that is so cool of you. I wish more parents trusted their
children.
There's a tracking device on her phone.
What?
She's 16 and mobile.
I mean, this way, even if she doesn't call, I can go online and find out where
she is.
That's not the Mrs. H. I know.
It's a changing world, Ann.
And I'm changing with it. Oh, by the way, they had a special on it, so I got
one, too.
Cool.
delicate the GPS tracking thing is. I typed in my phone number and the
is showing our neighborhood.
Hey, take my phone and run down the block, will you?
Oh, you run down the block and I'll meet you there. Gotcha.
Oh, Reba, thank goodness you're here.
It's amazing how two people can feel so differently about the same thing.
Kira's late.
She was supposed to be home at nine and it's four minutes after.
You know, I tried calling her, but she won't pick up.
Oh, my gosh, Barbara Jean, do you know what that means? Do what?
She has caller ID.
It's all right. I trust Kira.
How quaint.
Reba, take it from somebody whose parents trusted her.
Don't trust her.
I have a great relationship with Kira, and that relationship is based on
respect. Like ours?
Right.
Now get out of here.
You want me to go? I'll go. But if she's not home in five...
I'm calling the police.
Don't touch the computer!
I tied my phone to a dog.
I gotta type in Kira's phone number. I need to track her.
So that's why you were acting so calm. A tracking device.
Genius.
Oh, the dog's headed to a river.
Okay, I just take the coordinates, I type them into the map, and we find
Look, here she is.
428 Hill Street.
Hill Street?
But that is downtown. Okay, all right.
Let's not panic. Okay.
We go into the yellow pages, type in the address, and we find that Kira is
perfectly safe at Corky's Martini Lounge.
I don't get it.
What's Kira doing in a bar?
Well, if she's anything like me, she's like... She's not.
What I don't understand is how can a 16 -year -old girl get into a bar?
Oh, Reba, there are a thousand ways.
I used to crawl in through the men's room window.
Barbara Jean. And if you're not sensitive to the cold, you can hide in
delivery truck.
I'm also licensed to drive one of those.
Barbara Jean, that's enough. Okay, all right, I know. And I mean for your
lifetime. Okay, now let's get down there.
Hey, Mom.
Oh, hi, Kara. Oh, Dr. Kara. Kara, where have you been?
The library.
Yeah, right.
More like the liar -brary.
Don't call my daughter a liar.
Unless, of course, you are lying. And if you are, young lady, you better tell me
the truth right now.
Okay, you got me. On the way home, I drove the car into the Grand Canyon.
Thelma didn't make it.
Very funny.
And why didn't you answer your phone?
Because I traded phones. You traded your phone?
Kira, I bought that phone for a specific reason.
You mean the tracking device?
Tracking device?
Can you believe her?
not the first parent to try and pull that one. I just thought you were better
than that. I think we all were a little disappointed.
Oh, shut up.
You need to get that phone back, and I don't like this person you traded with.
I don't really either. It's Cheyenne.
What is Cheyenne doing in the bar?
Cheyenne's not at a bar. She has biology lab on Tuesday night.
Reba, take it from someone whose parents trusted her.
There is no such thing as a biology lab.
Well,
that doorman was very polite.
Yeah, except you were honey and I was ma 'am.
Hey, this is a karaoke bar.
Oh, my gosh, Reba, let's sing. Oh, my gosh, let's not.
I don't think Cheyenne would come to a karaoke bar.
The GPS thingy was a ripoff.
Okay, everybody having a good time tonight?
Yeah!
Well,
keep enjoying yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, but remember one thing.
There's got to be a morning after.
Peter Elizabeth used to cry every time she sang to her.
If you keep on looking for the light.
Oh, boy. I don't understand it. Why didn't she just tell us she was singing?
Would you?
Oh, no, she's been a... This could be awkward.
Quick, start a bar fight.
Mom, Barbara Jean?
Oh, Cheyenne.
What are you looking at, blondie, huh?
What are you guys doing here?
Oh, we thought it'd be a fun place to meet all our friends, you know, here at
the biology lab.
Okay, fine.
I didn't go to the biology lab, but I didn't want anyone to know I was here.
Gee, I wonder why.
Chick definitely wants a piece of me. Yeah, bring it.
Cheyenne.
Honey, what's going on? Nothing.
I just paid eight bucks to park.
Four bucks to get in here now. I think you owe me about $12 worth of
explanation. Okay.
Mom, when did you first realize that you were old and your life was over?
but thanks for the update.
Sorry.
Every day, I wake up, and I know exactly what my day is going to be like, and
the next one, and the one after that.
Some people look at that as security.
Yeah. Some people look at that as a rut.
You know, look at all these people around here, okay?
They're about my age, and they're not wives and moms. They're just people.
You know, don't get me wrong. I love being a wife and a mom. It's just... I
don't know. You probably think I'm so weird.
Honey, no, I don't. Everybody feels like that from time to time.
Who am I? Why am I here?
Why didn't I lock the door when Barbara Jean was walking up the driveway?
Have you talked to Van about this? No, this is something that I'm sure he
wouldn't understand.
Van's always known who he is. He's a football player.
Shan, Van doesn't play football anymore.
He's the guy that wakes up every morning not knowing what his day's going to be
like.
He probably feels like he's in a rut, too.
We've had to grow up so fast.
You know what? You're smart for wanting to keep an eye on Kira.
Well, I needed a hobby.
Now that I'm old and my life is over.
Cheyenne, you realize that you can't keep coming down here by yourself.
Yeah.
And I was getting really good.
Hey, are you guys done talking? Yeah. Barbara, are you ready to go? Yeah,
this. Hit it!
Work it!
I get to do it all over again.
I gotta go bathe Elizabeth.
Bathe? Red toon already asleep.
Aw, thanks, Mom.
You're welcome.
Go have fun.
Welcome to DJ Van's karaoke palace.
Looks like we got a live one walking on the stage here.
Oh, no. Did Mom tell you? Yeah.
Are you mad at me?
I was at first, but then I got one of these.
And now I get it.
No, I know why you did it Cheyenne.
I just wish you would have told me what you're going through You've been there
for me, and I'll always be there for you And from now on
we sing together
WB Friday continues with the comedy hit Living with Fran. Fresh right now.
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