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Now, Jake, you have no idea how this thing got on the couch?
Yeah, Van did it.
Van's been in Denver all week.
Oh, well, I did hear this thing on the news about this guy who breaks into
houses and pours juice on the couch.
Well, then maybe the safe thing to do is to get rid of all the juice in the
house.
Don't let the bad guys win, Mom. Yeah.
Van, you made it. You know why they call it standby?
No. Because you stand by a gate all night and watch everybody else board the
plane.
And despite what you think, calling a ticket agent a complete moron does not
speed anything up.
Well, the good part is you're home. Relax and tell me all about your week.
Sorry, Mrs. H. I've got to go stack out for like 63 million hours.
Oh, well, thanks for the ride, Mrs. H. Yeah.
Reba. You will never guess we're brought in our going this weekend.
I'll give you a hint.
It's the birthplace of rock and roll.
Memphis.
The birthplace of rock and roll in Texas.
Austin.
South Texas.
We're going to San Antonio.
San Antonio with my San and Romeo.
It's our first weekend together since the separation, and Kira doesn't want to
go, so we were wondering if you could maybe watch her.
I don't need to be watched. I'll be fine at home by myself.
Oh, no, too dangerous.
There's some nutcase running around with a juice box.
Be happy to.
Well, thanks.
So, I guess we better get packing.
You and Henry can wear your Pokemon Speedos.
No. Whoa.
So,
Kira, what new and exciting things do you want to do this weekend?
How about I mope around because I resent the way I get treated?
I said new and exciting.
Van, I just flew home.
I'm exhausted.
Oh, of course you are. You sat in a cab, you sat in a plane, you sat in Dad's
car. Look, Van, you are only here for three days, and it's going to be jam
-packed with family fun. It's going to be so good.
Where are you guys off to? Well, since we're off to a late start, we're going
have to blow off the doll museum.
But we still have time for family photos, toy store, birthday party.
And Pizza Playland. Well, hang on. Didn't we do family photos last weekend?
Was this last weekend?
Let's get cracking. We're burning daily.
Bye -bye. Bye, Grandma.
Bye -bye.
I'm so tired.
With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter.
I'm a survivor.
I've always dreamed of going to the ceramic place and spending 60 bucks for
to make a plate that says, I hate ceramics.
I put a kitten on it.
It has a sword through it.
Hey, Merry Christmas early.
Aw, thanks.
Ew.
You having fun?
I had less fun than the cat did.
How's your weekend going?
Great. You know, it's amazing how much you can get done by cutting in line.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah? Well, thanks for ruining my life!
Ben, is anything wrong?
I was trying to hide it from you.
The team just called.
I gotta go back to Denver a day early. What the...
Since somebody is fighting in the living room, I'm going to go in the kitchen
and have it out with your sister.
Why do you have to go?
For extra practice. The coach said, get your butt back here, son. You don't have
a choice.
I know you don't know I'm Cheyenne, but that is like a perfect impression.
We were going to go ice skating and get Elizabeth's name painted on rice.
Oh, great.
So now my daughter's going to be the only kid without her name on rice.
Jeez, maybe I should just quit the team. No, Ben, don't quit.
If you need to go practice, you should go.
Thank you for understanding, sweetie.
But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to Elizabeth.
As soon as I get back to Denver, I'm going to write her name on corn.
That way, she's going to stand out from the rest of the kids.
They're yellow.
Look, I know this weekend hadn't exactly been a blast, but if you wouldn't be so
negative, maybe everything you say wouldn't lead to a fight.
I want to move back in. See, that's exactly what I'm talking...
What? I want to move back in. With you.
No, you don't.
I do.
just saying that because they wouldn't let you stay at the house by yourself
please i was hanging out over there when you thought i was upstairs i just
really miss you i mean come on you're my mom honey i miss you too i mean come on
you're my daughter so it's okay of course it is but only if you're sure
this is a big deal i'm sure okay we have to figure out a way to tell your dad
and barbara jean Because this is a really tough thing for parents to go
I mean, we have to handle this in a kind and delicate manner.
Thanks, Mom.
Okay.
In your face, Brock and Barbara Jean!
San Antonio was beautiful, Reba. The restaurants, the Riverwalk. It's like
Paris, but you can get a burrito.
Anyway, Kara called and said you wanted to see us, so here we are.
Yeah, so here you are.
Smiling and happy.
Remember that feeling.
Well, I've got something to say to you, and it's going to be hard.
Sometimes, sometimes a good parent, has to do what's right for the child, even
though it's painful for you.
Oh, I totally know.
This one time, I was rocking Henry to sleep when I realized I was sitting on
tiny metal fire truck.
Oh, now, he was kind of gassy and I didn't want to wake him, so I just
rocking and rocking, tears pouring down my face. Now, I still have a scar if you
want to take a look at me.
I'm sorry, Reba, you were saying?
Yeah, remember the time when I loaned you guys that frying pan and Kira?
Well, you can keep the frying pan.
Kira wants to move back in with me.
Oh, my gosh.
My Kira?
My sweet little Kira wants to leave the nest?
Actually, I think I was the one that laid the egg, but I get your point.
Is that true, honey?
Yes. Now, Brock, before you say anything... Well, it's okay with me.
Really? But, Brock, she's our little baby.
Barbara Jean, we can't force her to stay. Yes, we can.
No, we can't. Oh, I will tie her to the banister.
Honey, if you really want to, it's fine with us.
goodness i think i'm gonna cry oh barbara jean i mean she's just gonna
be four houses down you can come by anytime you want actually scratch that
just give me a moment to remember your faith
Well, that wasn't so bad.
I'll be up in a minute. Kara, I thought you'd be happy.
I am happy.
Well, you don't seem happy. I'm fine.
Honey, we just asked your dad if you could move back. He said it was okay.
What's the problem?
Of course he said it's okay. He hates me.
Is that why you wanted to move back in? Because you think your father hates you?
Wasn't it obvious?
He couldn't wait to get rid of me.
Honey, why would he want to get rid of you?
Because when I'm around, they always fight.
Oh, Kara, honey, you are not responsible for your dad and Barbara Jean's
problems. Really? Because they just had a great weekend without me.
Well, that don't prove anything.
They just had a burrito in Paris.
When they go to therapy, they get along.
When they go to dinner, they get along. At the birthplace of rock and roll in
South Texas, they got along.
What's the one thing in common?
I'm not there.
I wasn't there either.
When I lived over here, you guys fought all the time.
I moved over there, and now they fight all the time. Oh, honey, you... You
be more wrong, and I'm gonna prove it. I'm gonna go get your dad.
Hard to believe getting your dad would solve a problem, but here I go.
tickets for me and elizabeth we are coming to denver with you tomorrow
coming to you're you're going you what yeah that way you don't have to be so
bummed about you know leaving early and you could show us all around denver i
have a list of places that we have to see no we can't i mean see denver is
dangerous especially during hurricane season
Plus, I have practice. I got a long, long practice. No, that's okay.
We'll come watch. It'll be so cool for Elizabeth to see where Daddy works. And
then after, we can do all that stuff.
But, but, but, but, but, see, see, see, see, you know... What's,
what's the matter? Boy, you just can't drop by practice like that.
I thought a lot of wives come live. They do, but not on... No Wives Day.
No Wives? Yeah, and can you believe that's tomorrow?
Oh, shoot. You know what?
No wives week.
What's going on, Van? Do you even have practice tomorrow? Of course I do.
Absolutely. No.
You don't?
Then what?
Are you having an affair?
Oh, of course not.
How could I have the energy for an affair the way you got me running
Oh, hold on. So you're saying that you're leaving early because we're doing
much stuff together?
No.
No, Cheyenne, no. That is not it. That is completely not it.
Yes.
Wow.
Hey, you know what? That is not fair. You are completely giving me no credit
not having an affair.
Hey,
Barbara Jean.
What are you doing?
Kira used to sit here and shush me when Jeopardy was on.
I'll take endless pain for a hundred, Alex.
All right, honey, I'll stop by tomorrow.
There you are. What's the big idea of giving Kira up so easily?
What? I didn't give her up easily. Oh, yeah? Well, she's over at my house
crushed because she thinks you don't want her anymore.
Well, why in the world would she think that? Because you didn't fight... for
her. She thinks that she makes it harder on you two. Oh, come on. That's just
crazy. I mean, I was just trying to be a good father, you know? If she wants to
be with you, I didn't want to make her feel bad. And in any case, she should
know how much I love her. Right.
Even though you two do fight a lot.
What? What are you talking about?
Well, you know, when you come over, you're always picking on her.
Barbara Jean, I'm not picking on her. I'm just asking her about her day.
Well, it seems like picking.
You know, please don't tell me how to talk to my own daughter. Oh, yeah, you
don't need lessons. You just radiate love.
Okay.
All right.
You know, you guys can have this fight some other time. You need to go over
there and talk to your daughter.
Wow.
What just happened there?
I don't know.
We were doing so well.
Okay, once again, a conversation for another time. Let's go.
No, no, no, no. Just wait a second, Reeve. I mean...
Maybe Kira's right. She's not even here, and we're fighting because of her. You
know, what if she really does make things harder?
Of course she makes things harder. She's a teenager.
What if I actually do have resentments toward her? What if I really did want
to go? Oh, no, no, no, Brock. This is not your therapy. Your daughter is
hurting. You need to go over there right now and tell her that she is not the
problem. I'm not going to lie to her, Reba. That's what got me in trouble in
first place, not being honest.
Now you're being Mr.
Honesty? Look.
There's a time to tell the truth and there's a time to lie.
Shoot, everybody knows that you never tell your kids how you really feel about
them.
Heck, I'm sick of Henry 65 % of the time.
Barbara Jean. Well, I am.
All right.
Cheyenne, let me explain.
I tried so hard.
I know, and I appreciate that. Ha, ha, ha.
That is me laughing. But not the real kind. The fake kind.
Look, I'm sorry I lied to you, but I'm exhausted.
I spent all week killing myself at practice, then I come back here where we
don't sit still for a minute. You are exhausted, Van.
I am the one who is taking care of Elizabeth and going to school full time.
I am just as wiped out as you, even though I still look good.
But I deal with it. I deal with it because I don't want you to miss out on
anything. But I'm not missing out on anything. As long as I'm with you and
Elizabeth. I don't need to do anything else.
And in fact, if we got a foosball table, we'd never have to leave the house.
You shouldn't have lied to me. I know.
Babe, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.
Good.
The next time something like this happens, just tell me.
Tell you that you're getting on my nerves?
I talked to your father and told him how you were feeling, and just as I
suspected, honey, he don't blame you for his problems.
He doesn't? No, and he was pretty upset about you moving out. So, I was right
and you were wrong. I don't want to rub it in, but I was right.
I see.
And, uh, is this the part where I lie to you and say I believe you?
Kira, look.
Hey, hey, hey.
Just the person we were hoping to see.
Our little ray of sunshine.
No, no, no. No, don't worry, Reba. You were right. You were right.
Sweetheart, your mom told us how you were feeling, and we just want you to
that nothing could be further from the truth.
Hey, you don't make things hard on us.
If anything, you bring people together.
You're like a little Reverend Al Sharpton.
We love having you around, and if we did or said anything to make you feel
otherwise, we're sorry.
Brock, tell her the truth.
I'm sorry?
Tell her the truth.
Um, which truth are we talking about again?
Oh, stop crying out loud.
Okay, Carrie, you want the truth? Here it is.
Sometimes you're a pain in the butt.
Mom, Reba, she wants the truth.
Honey, sometimes you're a royal, huge, honking pain in the butt.
And there's a whole ceramic store full of people that'll back me up on this.
But that doesn't mean I don't love you.
And I'm sure your father feels the same way.
Honey, you're a delight. I have no idea what your mother's talking about.
Okay, okay, she's right. You're a huge pain in the butt.
Great. Well, I'm glad we had this little chat. Kira.
I heard you, Mom. I'm a pain.
But we always love you.
I'm really supposed to believe that? Yes, because that's the magic of being a
parent. We don't have to like you, but we'll always love you.
You're not an easy child, Kira.
But you're also this strong, amazing, opinionated person. And I wouldn't
that for the world.
I wouldn't change it either.
But I would tone it down just a little bit.
So how's this sitting with you?
A little strange.
But I guess I understand what you're talking about.
That's good.
You know, because Barbara Jean and I still have a lot of work to do on our
relationship.
While having you there might not make things easier, we'd still like for you
be a part of it.
You know, talking to you is my favorite part of the day, which, by the way, is
why I ask you so many questions.
Even if it does sound like picking.
If you decide to go, I will really miss you.
I'll miss you more than him.
Because I'm deeper.
Barbara Jean?
Shh!
You're really lucky to have so many people that love you.
Sounds like they really want me to stay.
Yes, it does.
So, I guess maybe I don't need to move back right away.
Yeah, maybe you should stay over there a while and keep those two on track.
Mom, just so you know, I never once doubted that you loved me.
I know, sweetheart.
But you know what?
There were times if I'd have had the money, I'd have sent you away.
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