All language subtitles for mr_belvedere_s03e17_the_cadet

Uh, yeah, Pam, that sounds great.

I love horseback riding.

Are you kidding?

I was practically born in the saddle.

Okay, yeah, I'll meet you at the stable
on Saturday.

Great, bye.

Kevin, I didn't know you were an
equetrian.

If that means someone who can ride a
horse, I'm not.

It's just I really like this girl
Pamela, but the only way she'll go out

is if we go riding together.

And you don't have any experience?

Nope. Unless you count the time the dad
put me on the booking bronco outside the

supermarket. He kept sticking nickels in
until I threw up.

How nice.

Yeah, anyway, I was hoping, you know,
maybe you could give me a few pointers.

Like how to steer, put on the brakes,
stuff like that.

Very well, Kevin.

But we'll have to start slow.

Okay, sure.

I'll just go and get some nickels.

How'd you know I was here?

I can smell you.

Oh, yeah, I ate in the cafeteria.

So I guess Mom and Dad aren't back yet,
huh?

Nope. I don't know why they keep going
to those stupid parent -teacher meetings

anyway. Just gets everyone all upset.

Yeah, but you're in enough trouble, so
you better put that thing away.

On the other hand, I've probably got
nothing to lose.

didn't stone us.

Oh, then it would be better than last
year.

Mrs. Burkholder told us that every day
it's the same thing with you. Goofing

off, talking back.

I do not talk back.

Well, what about that stunt you pulled
with the substitute teacher?

Hey, I may have helped tie her up, but I
didn't undress her.

I'm gonna get an aspirin.

Pretty funny, huh, Dad?

Mom's gone. You can laugh now.

You'd better shape up, mister.

What have you done now?

Mom and Dad just got back from talking
to my teacher.

Oh. I take it they went upstairs to
sleep it off.

No, I think they went up to figure out
my punishment.

Really?

I hope they don't start without me.

Never met her before.

Who cares when you dropkick the jacket?

As you came through the door, no one's
there.

But sometimes things get turned around
and no one's there.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our...

And that's the last time I take you to
the supermarket.

What did I do?

George, when I tell you to get a dozen
eggs, I don't mean from somebody else's

cup.

She hadn't paid for them yet.

Besides, at least I wasn't standing
around stuffing my face in the cookie

That bag was already open.

I see it was you.

People have been asking me that all day.

I'm at wet. I came home from the library
and he was gone.

Hey, I told that kid he was grounded.

All right, Buster, get your tail in
here.

You guys back already?

What happened to you?

You want to fight?

Yeah, but it wasn't my fault. See, this
kid at the movies kept kicking my seat,

and I told him to stop it, but instead
he threw some jujy fruits at me.

So I hit him because Dad says I should
always stand up for myself. Right, Dad?

What were you doing in the movies?

Did I say movies?

Wes, you knew you were grounded.

I thought that only meant a night. And
where'd you get the money to go in the

first place?

I think I'm in enough trouble already.

All right, wise guy, that's it.

You're grounded morning, noon, and
night.

You mean no school?

You keep pulling stunts like this,
you're going to wind up in military

Now stay here and help Mr. Belvedere
unpack those groceries.

Why do I have to suffer?

Hello, Heather.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere, how was horseback
riding?

I had fun.

I think there's something wrong with my
legs.

They won't close.

Keep them that way. We'll be out again
tomorrow.

Hey, I'm not going back out there.
Everyone was laughing at me. Oh, I don't

think they meant to, Kevin.

It's just that people are accustomed to
seeing someone ride on top of a horse.

My saddle slipped.

I tried to tell the people it was trick
riding, but I don't think they bought

it.

Hey, at least my horse didn't faint when
it saw me coming.

You mean Nervous Nellie?

She was just being a smart aleck.

Hey, Belvedere. George.

I have two ways that he's still locked
in his room.

Yeah, unless he climbed out the window
and stole the car.

That was last week.

I don't know what I'm going to do with
that kid.

I mean, I can't control him anymore.

What's going to happen when he gets
older?

I didn't know we were letting him.

You know, George, at his age, a little
rebellion is quite normal.

The thing is, I yell, I scream.

I threatened to stick his butt in
military school. Nothing ever seems to

in. Yeah, so you see, Wesley's a very
perceptive young man.

And he knows an idle threat when he
hears one.

Like when you say you're going to fire
me.

Well, he's going to know I'm not kidding
this time.

Can I watch TV now?

No, finish your homework.

I did.

So do some extra credit.

You want to get that, pal?

Sure.

Excuse me. Is that the Owens residence?

Maybe.

Who's there, Westman?

I don't know. Some Army guy.

Maybe Kevin forgot to register.

Actually, I believe I'm here about you.

Come on in.

Mr. Owens.

Colonel Wayne, Bunker Hill Military
Academy.

I appreciate you stopping by.

Oh, no problem.

The cadets are on the rifle ranks today,
and I like to keep my distance.

So, Wesley, your father tells me you
might benefit by a little military

discipline. He did?

Yeah, it's a real good school, Wes, and
worth thinking of sending you there.

That's right, young man.

Bunker Hill takes great pride in its
curriculum of academic, physical

and military science.

How's that sound, Wes?

I always wanted to try a flamethrower.

Oh, hi, honey.

Colonel Wayne, this is my wife, Marsha.
Hello. Pleasure. This is Colonel Wayne

from the Bunker Hill Military Academy,
the place we're thinking of sending Wes

to. What are you talking about?

Oh, look, why don't we go in the kitchen
and let these two get acquainted?

Okay.

So, your father tells me you have become
quite the little minute to society.

Ah, he just likes to brag.

You think we should have talked about
this first?

I'm just trying to throw a little scare
into the kid.

Well, I don't know if I like it.

What's Wesley done now?

Stolen a tank.

No, that's Colonel Wayne from the Archie
Bunker Military School.

George thinks we can frighten Wes into
being good.

Oh, but I've already told him we were
selling him to the gypsies.

Dad, I'm sorry. I'll be good, I swear.

That colonel says you've got to get up
at 4 o 'clock in the morning and stand

attention before you can eat. I probably
won't even...

home until Christmas.

I like that last part.

Wait, this isn't funny.

Don't worry, honey. You're not going
anywhere.

That's right, champ.

I think you learned your lesson.

I sure have.

Come on, Marshal. Let's go tell the
colonel he won't be drafted west just

Thanks, Mom.

Thanks, Dad.

That wasn't so tough.

Hello, Mr. Belvedere.

How was your ride?

Fine.

I'll be in my room.

Where's Kevin?

You mean your son, Kevin?

Yeah.

The last time I saw him, he was
galloping through a toll booth on the

Pennsylvania Turnpike.

What?

Fortunately, he had the exact change.

I got it.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Wesley's father.

What do you mean, how did his operation
go?

Let me get back to you.

Yeah, thanks.

Goodbye.

What was that all about?

I don't believe it.

Wes hasn't been to school for the past
two days.

He told his teacher he had to go in the
hospital to have some polyps removed.

Anything interesting happen?

No, simple stuff.

Mind if I fix myself a snack?

How about a nice big bowl of Pollock?

Uh -oh.

Wes, what the hell is going on?

Nothing. It's just so grounded around
here, and I gotta have some fun, so I've

been going to the arcade.

Wes, what's the matter? Why are you
doing this?

When I go to school, I just get in
trouble.

Not the school you're going to.

You're shipping out.

Huh? You're going to military school.

All right, Colonel.

Thank you.

And I guess we'll be seeing you in a
little while.

Right.

Goodbye.

He said we can drop him off any time.

George, this is crazy.

I'm not sending my baby off to the army.
Look, if we keep threatening him with

stuff and then not following through,
he's going to wind up in a worse place

than that. I just think we should calm
down first, then discuss it. You mean

give it a couple of days and then forget
the whole thing? Yes.

Look, we've got to do this for his own
good.

You know how things work around here. He
pulls some stupid stunt, we get mad, he

gives us that cute little smile, and the
next thing you know, we fold up like a

couple of tents.

Five minutes later, he's outside doing
something else. I know.

Anyway, I checked it out.

It's a good school.

It's only a half an hour from here, and
they're not going to put up with any of

his screwing around.

Now, why don't you go upstairs and help
Westman get packed?

May I say something, sir? Hey, I don't
want to hear how we fail as a family.

Or how we're making a mistake.

Or what a big jerk I am. Or any of that
other junk.

I was just going to ask which suitcase
to take.

Oh.

But you made some excellent points.

Hi, Mr. Belmere.

Wesley?

You want some place?

No.

I think you are.

Boy, they're really going all out this
time. They even got you playing along.

Where are all your teens up?

In the wastebasket.

I was shooting hoops.

It doesn't really matter.

They'll issue everything you need.

I'm just packing some civvies in case
you decide to go AWOL.

Yeah, right.

So what's going to happen now?

Is Dad going to take me out and pretend
to drive me someplace, or is Colonel

Clink going to show up again and take me
away in a Jeep?

I think your father is taking you.

This is for real, isn't it?

Mm -hmm.

In that case, could you feed my lizard?

He prefers maggots.

Are you down yet?

No. I guess he's still getting his
little things together.

It's okay, everybody.

I'm fine.

Oh, man, you wouldn't believe it. One
minute the stupid horse won't move, the

next minute I'm jumping fences and
halfway to Hoboken.

I never would have got off if it weren't
for that clothesline.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, Mom. It's
okay.

I'm fine.

I don't care about you.

Now sending Wes to military school.

Whoa.

George. Maybe it's enough that we've
gone this far, don't you think?

Look, if he promises to straighten up
and fly right, and really means it this

time, then maybe it'll be a different
story. But it's got to come from him.

I'm ready.

Okay, pal, let me get my coat.

Honey?

Are you sure there isn't something you
want to tell us before you go?

Not really.

Are you sure?

They still want to know how I got the
money for the movies I sold to my

Heather's underwear.

Come on, buddy. It's time to go.

Okay.

Bye, Mr. Belvedere.

Don't forget me.

I'll think of you every time I hear a
siren.

Bye, everybody.

Bye, honey. Come on, let's go.

pretty good i'm almost done pretty good
i'm almost done what i'm almost done

shining the boots shining the boots what
shining the boots black shining

them black sir oh sorry i always forget
well maybe this will help you remember

cadets

be able to see myself.

So go to the zoo.

What was that?

Go to the zoo, sir.

That's better.

When you're finished with those, I could
do with a shine.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere, I knew they'd give
in. Let me get my stuff.

Oh, your parents didn't send me.

I happen to be in the neighborhood, so I
thought I'd drop by and say hello.

Oh, well, we're not allowed to have
visitors till the weekend. You're going

get me in trouble.

You seem to be doing a good job of that
all by yourself.

Yeah, they don't got much of a sense of
humor around here.

You call one general barf brain and
they're all over you.

Wesley, I think if you talked to your
parents and told them that you'd learned

your lesson, you'd be back in civilian
life in no time.

Hey, I'm not going crying back to Dad
like...

prince back in England did.

Don't make this a test of wills with
your father.

He's even more pig -headed than you are.

Look, all he wants is a perfect little
soldier, so that's what I'm gonna be.

Now, Phil, excuse me, I have some boots
to lick.

Good morning, Kevin.

Hey, Mr. Belvedere.

Looking forward to your big ride with
Pamela?

No, she's thick.

She's probably got hoof and mouth or
something.

Nothing you did, I hope.

Anyway, I don't care.

Kevin, what's the matter?

I don't know. I've just been thinking
about what Dad did, sending Wesley to

place. It's just not fair.

Kevin, I think we all missed your
brother.

I'm not talking about that.

How come they don't have enough money to
send me away to college and he gets to

go to military school?

Because they like him better?

Take it easy, Marsha. We got plenty of
time. I just made them these cookies. I

don't want them to get hard.

Too late.

Hey, I'm ready.

What the hell are you wearing?

It's my new dress. Don't you like it?

Yeah, it's great. Now go put on the rest
of it.

I mean, she's going someplace full of
guys who haven't seen a girl in six

months.

She could start a riot.

Gee, Dad, why don't you just send me to
a convent? I think she looks fine.

Are you going to let her go out the door
looking like that? Well, we wouldn't be

going anywhere if Wes weren't in that
awful place.

Look, Marcia, don't start with me. We've
been through all this.

Are we taking separate cars?

I'm sorry.

Why are we yelling at each other?

I suppose because you don't have Wesley.

So, what do you think, Kev?

Isn't this place something?

Yeah, maybe if I rob a liquor store,
you'll send me to Hawaii.

Sure.

Hi, honey.

Hello,

mother. It's very nice to see you.

Hello, Kevin, Heather. You're looking
lovely as always.

Huh?

Mr. Belvedere, you look rested.

Well, you aren't around.

I'm very droll.

Hello, father.

Hey, Westman.

So, how you doing?

Quite well, sir.

So, when do we get the grand tour?

Oh, certainly.

Bunker Hill Military Academy was founded
in 1887 by General Ezra T.

Belcher.

On the principle of better leadership
through discipline.

Belcher, huh?

Guess that kind of tells you what the
food's like around here.

Actually, the food here is well prepared
and quite adequate.

Now, if you'll follow me, please.

Anyway, this is my room and this is my
bunk, which I share with Kid at Hostel.

He's a bedwetter, which is why I have to
talk.

This concludes our tour of the facility,
so if there's nothing else, we can

return to the reception area and do our
farewells. But, honey, we hardly had a

chance to talk.

I'm sorry. Maybe we'll have more time
next month.

Well, I suppose that's it.

Shall we go?

Not you.

Oh, how are you getting along?

Fine, sir.

Make any new friends?

A few, sir.

Look, if there's ever anything you need,
all you gotta do is let me know.

Thank you, sir.

Will you cut it out with that sir stuff
already?

I'm your father.

I thought this is what you wanted.

I don't want some wooden soldier.

I just want my kid back.

The way you used to be before you turned
into some kind of delinquent.

Yeah, well, maybe I want my old dad
back.

The way he used to be before he got
tired of me. Huh?

Before when I used to be bad, Mom would
yell and say it wasn't funny.

But you'd always laugh anyway.

Now everything I do just makes you mad.

Look, Wes, you're getting older.

You gotta realize there's a difference
between Dennis the Menace and Babyface

Nelson.

It's not it. You just don't love me
anymore.

Don't say that!

Then how come I...

And if you drop your rifle, forget it.
They make you do like a million push

-ups. I know.

I saw you.

Huh?

When?

Every morning.

I'd sort of drive by and watch you
through the fence for a while.

How come?

Because you're my kid.

And I love you.

I want to go home.

That's okay, champ.

It's all right.

I'll be good, I swear.

I promise I won't do anything wrong ever
again for the rest of my life.

Why don't we just try to make it through
the rest of the day? Okay, Pam?

Yes, sir.

What are you doing out here, Kevin?

I thought you were out riding with
Pamela.

No, I'm through with horses, and I'm
through with her.

What happened? Wind up on the tent bike
again?

No, I rode pretty well.

She liked my horse more than she liked
me.

I think they went to the movies together
or something.

What is it with me, Mr. Belvedere?

Why do I always have to pretend that I
can do something I can or that I like

something I don't?

I mean, why do I always put myself
through this just to impress some girl?

Because you're young and stupid?

Yeah. Well, not anymore.

From now on, if I go out with somebody,
we're going to go where I want to go and

do what I want to do, or they can go
alone.

That's the spirit, Kevin.

Oh, by the way, a Becky called.

Becky? Mm -hmm.

She belongs to the skydiving club.

It was nice knowing you, Kevin.

It's been two weeks since Wesley has
returned from his tour of duty, and the

transformation has been quite
remarkable.

He's been courteous, respectful,

and in every way an exemplary young man.

Consequently, the Owens household has
become a scene of blissful serenity.

What's your little fuss? I'm going to
kill you!

Thank goodness.

I was going crazy.