Original subtitles

As a special TV offer, you get a genuine one -point diamond ring, plus a 14

-carat gold necklace, plus a beautiful heart -shaped pendant. All for only $19

.95.

Impossible? But wait, there's more.

No, there isn't.

Morning, Mr. Belvedere. Good morning.

Morning. Morning, pal.

Oh, anybody seen my fork?

Mr. Belvedere, is this your day off?

Oh, no, ma 'am. Is there anything you'd like?

Yeah, breakfast.

Oh, I haven't even begun to prepare it.

I presumed you'd eat when you got home.

From where?

Servities. Services?

Who died?

George, it's Sunday.

Yeah?

Oh.

I am sorry. In tidying up the drawers, I came across a church bulletin from your

good shepherd of Beaver Falls, and I assumed... Oh, and we do go.

It's just that, uh... We're not fanatics about it.

I think.

It's just that with things being so crazy the past couple of months, we

gone as frequently as we should.

Perfectly understandable.

But now that you're here and we have the time, there's really no reason why we

shouldn't go.

Right, honey?

It's Sunday.

Son's out.

I got your clubs, Dad. What do you want me to stick them?

Hey, honey, guess what? We're all going to church.

It's not Easter.

Again, I apologize for the misunderstanding.

Uh -huh.

It's just that I've only been here a few days and I haven't quite gotten used to

your routine.

Hey, it's okay.

We didn't have any plans anyway.

Well, have a good worship.

Thanks.

Say a little prayer for me.

I will.

You're going to need it.

When you cop kicked your jacket, as you came through the door, no one bled. But

sometimes things get turned around and no one's fed.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live a good life yet.

He's such an embarrassment.

I think I'm aware of that. Hey, don't worry about it, partner. Anybody could

have spilled that collection plate.

Down some lady's dress?

That was great.

There must have been over $20 worth of change in there.

I'm gonna change.

I've never seen a fat broad jump like that.

We'll talk about it later.

Mr. Robert, all I did was ask where there weren't any dinosaurs on Noah's

I wondered that myself.

Yeah, well, this kid in the next pew starts laughing at me. I don't care what

did. You don't hit someone over the head with a hymnal.

I was blessing him.

Regardless, breakfast will be ready in 15 minutes.

Thank you.

Come on, champ.

Let's get out of these monkey suits and go out and fire the old football around.

Pop Warner's coming up. Sure, Dad. I'll be right there.

Add up, baby.

What are you watching?

Aerobics?

It's Le Coffin by Adolphe Adam.

It's a ballet.

Oh, yeah, we don't watch that sort of stuff.

Ah.

How come you like it?

The same reason your father likes watching his sporting event.

It's part faith, colorful, emotionally engaging, and there aren't any beer

commercials.

They're just dancing.

Hey, look at that guy jump.

He looks like Dr.

J.

That guy is Lieutenant Berbanto, and the jump is called a cabrio.

It's a very difficult maneuver.

Yeah, well, if he's so great, why isn't he with the Celtics?

Because he chose to dance.

It requires the same skill, stamina, and strength as any of your professional

sports.

Wow, look at him spin around.

That is called a pirouette.

Think I could do something like that?

I don't see any reason why not.

If you were to practice and have discipline, you could be on your toes in

time. Oh, yeah?

Whoa, now he's sliding across the floor.

What's that called?

A mistake, Wesley.

Hey, Mom, Mr. Belvedere said I could learn ballet.

Hey, Prancho, what's the holdup? Come on, Dad.

Baby, that kid's a natural.

Heather? Yeah, Mom?

I'm going over the phone bill. Do you know anything about that 1 -900 number?

Yeah, it's a Duran Duran hotline.

What about it?

Well, you must have called it 15 times.

That's almost $10.

I thought it was free.

Well, it isn't. And I think that $10 may just come out of your allowance, young

lady.

But I need that money for birth control.

I'm kidding.

Mom, I'm kidding.

Really.

God, she's so tense.

Hi,

Mom. How was class, honey? Oh, great. We learned a lot of neat new stuff.

I hope you're minding your plies.

Yeah, I can do all that stuff.

By the way, we're going to get to see it Friday night. We are?

Yeah, they're having a recital, and I'm in it.

Oh, my.

Guess you're going to have to tell Dad now, huh?

Possibly. Come on, Mom. He still thinks I'm playing football.

You can't keep lying to him.

I'm not lying.

Your mother is simply telling your father a slightly edited version of a

part of the approximate truth.

Yeah, well, it's making me crazy.

Dad keeps asking me, is he looking good out there? Is he rushing? Is he

blitzing? I'm getting an ulcer.

Yeah, remember the time Dad got home before we did? I had to stay outside and

roll around in the dirt.

Look, honey, you know Dad.

Sports mean everything to him.

He played them all through school.

He writes about them for a living.

He just has a hard time dealing with anything that isn't athletic.

In the athletic sense.

I meant athletic more in the, uh... Cro -Magnon sense?

But the point is, we are going to tell him.

Promise?

Dad's home. I'm home. Ballet slippers.

Give me those.

Hi, Dave.

Oh, hi, honey.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, Wes.

Look what I got for you.

Great.

interest after a couple of lessons, and there'd be no reason to upset George.

Well, in thinking about it, I don't think you're giving Mr. Owens enough

Go on.

What I mean is, if you tell George how Wesley came about it, how much he's

enjoying it, and how well he's doing at it, I think George might understand and

accept it.

Right.

Of course, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave my name out.

I think he's upstairs.

Want me to go get him?

Oh, no, no.

I'm sure he'll be down when he'll be down.

Hi, honey.

Aren't these ballet slippers?

Uh -huh.

I found them hanging on my shaving mirror.

I didn't do it.

You mean they're not yours?

Sure they are. Yeah, yeah, they really are, Dad. I mean, you don't even have to

ask her to try them on or anything.

George. They're not Heathers.

Who's Arthur?

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Wes.

I think you can tell him now.

So how long has he been taking ballet?

Oh, not even much more than a month. A month.

So all this time, when I thought he was out playing football, he's been doing

twirls down at the tutu farm.

Stupid old dad.

George,

I'm sure if you just took a moment...

else you want to tell old Pop?

Huh?

Heather's still in school?

Hey, Kevin, you married or anything?

Any kids?

Sir, I think I'm partially responsible for this.

It's Belvedere, isn't it?

This is your fault.

Well... George, that's not fair.

Now, I was the one who said it was okay. Yeah, and I took him to class.

I helped him pick out his ballet slippers.

It's still your fault.

Is everything okay?

Sure, pal.

So, I see you traded in your spikes for a pair of toe shoes.

Yeah, I'm getting pretty good.

Yeah, I bet you are.

Then you're coming Friday night?

Heck yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Great!

What the hell is Friday night?

You wanted to speak to me, sir?

Yeah.

We were watching television.

I don't want to hear it.

and I decided to hire a domestic, I had a certain picture of what that person

would be like.

She would be plump and pleasant, wear an apron, keep mostly to

herself, and just kind of be around when we needed her.

You know what I had in mind?

Yes, Mrs.

Buttersworth.

What I don't need is some front man for the bullshoy putting crazy... the ideas

in my kid's head.

Look, sir, I admit that I did introduce Wesley to the ballet, but it was his

decision, a laudable one, if I may say so, and I think he deserves everybody's

encouragement and support.

It's good we can talk like this.

Come on, Dad. We're going to miss the recital.

Everybody's waiting.

In a minute.

Dad, that clock doesn't even work.

It doesn't?

Let me get my tools.

Come on, Dad. You're stalling.

I am not.

All right.

All right.

Come on, Dad. It won't be that bad.

I mean, it can't be any worse than those sports banquets you drag us to.

Hey, those are fun.

No, they're not.

Boy, I can't believe we made it.

Yeah. Dad must have stopped for gas three times.

Come along, sir.

We must keep up. I'm coming, I'm coming.

I don't know what the big hurry is.

I'm glad you made it. I was getting worried.

We're here.

Wesley's very excited.

Yeah. Well, it's going to start in a couple of minutes. I saved us some seats

down front.

Great.

I'm going to go get some.

Would you like some tropical punch?

Got anything harder?

I'd rather be at a Penguins game myself.

You got that right.

But I can't miss my little princess.

I know what you mean.

Hey, I'm Jack Sorrell.

I'm George.

So how about your daughter?

She must be pretty excited.

Yeah, she is.

Shh. It's starting.

Check out Prince Valiant.

There's a guy that rides side saddle.

All right. This guy's putting the make on it. I really believe that.

This kid doesn't have a chance.

Which one's yours?

One of those over there.

My Cindy's the one next to Tinkerbell.

Pink made kind of a nice move there, huh? Sort of a little fruit loop.

Fruit loop.

Tears your heart out, doesn't it?

Soon.

Actually, if you let his hair grow a little bit, he'd make a pretty nice

That's my son.

What? My son.

You're kidding.

His name is Wesley.

It's not Prince Valiant.

It's not Fruit Loop.

And it's not Tinkerbell.

And he's doing a hell of a job up there, and I'm proud of him.

And you open your fat mouth one more time, you're going to be dancing in

Never Land.

I'm sorry, folks.

You kids keep going.

Hit it.

Sorry, guys.

Sweet Georgia Brown.

Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd.

Yeah?

I heard a noise. I thought perhaps we had squirrels.

Well, getting a head start with the spring cleaning?

Yeah, I'm thinking of getting rid of a lot of this junk.

You know, Wesley was very proud of your outburst this evening.

Yeah, he's a good kid.

See this? Yes.

The day Kevin was born, I had this ball autographed by everybody on the Pirates.

Bill Mazeroski, Danny Murtaugh, Roberto Clemente.

Put in his crib with him, hoping that something might rub off.

Willie Stargill did.

But things never really worked out. I see.

I mean, Kevin tried hard enough, but he kept falling down, getting hurt.

I had to stop him for his mother's sake.

Well, he has a good heart.

Yeah, but with... Heather being a girl, Wesley was pretty much my last shot.

You know, in a trophy or something.

Is a trophy so important?

I don't have one of my own.

Mrs. Owens led me to believe you were quite the old American.

I could have been.

If I'd have had a little more speed and agility and talent.

Yes, that might have helped.

I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Not necessarily.

You must never give up hope.

Why not?

Well, you never know what fate and chance may bring.

Ballet today, backfielder tomorrow.

You may be surprised.

You think so? Sure. Take me, for instance.

When I was a youngster, I did practically nothing but practice the

It wasn't until long after that I developed my animal -like passion for

bowling.

I'm going back downstairs.

See ya.

Ah, that's the George I know.

At any rate, the boy seems to be progressing quite well with his lessons.

And even George is taking a more active interest.

He had a number thrown on the back of Wesley's leotard.

Oh, a footnote.

The events of the last few days have reawakened in me an interest I thought

long since forgotten.