Original subtitles

I don't know about you, but I myself am an absolute dreams -of -glory addict.

Sometimes I cause chaos at the Olympics by high -jumping 30 feet, or I stagger

the whole musical world with my great symphonies.

I have literally hundreds of these lovely little glory dreams to choose

The best time to use them is in bed at night, when reality is suspended.

Because then, if you get a good one...

You go drifting off to sleep in a state of supreme ecstasy.

Mr. Clements?

Yes? They told me I'd find you here.

Butterball. I'm sorry, but... William Butterball.

B as in Brooklyn, O, Oliver, T, Tommy, I, Idaho, B, Brooklyn, O, Oliver, L as

love.

Butterball.

Butterball, of course. Do forgive me. I'm miles away. Please don't apologize.

I'm easily forgettable. No, it's the light in here.

Why they keep it so dark at lunchtime, I shall never know.

I couldn't see you. Sit down. Let me get you a drink. Oh, no, thank you. I never

drink at lunchtime. Never. No. I just came to give you my decision.

Oh, good.

Good. You've, um, you've made a decision.

Yes, about the offer that you made to me last week.

That was subject to negotiation.

I'm not going to negotiate. I've decided to accept your offer.

You have?

Yes. To sell Butterball and Company.

And the subsidiary company, the one in America.

Especially the American company.

Wonderful.

Let me congratulate you. It's the right decision.

Well, you're a rich man now. This calls for a celebration.

No, thank you. I'd better be getting along. I've instructed my lawyer... No,

please, Mr.

Clemens, I'd rather not. I insist.

No, no, I hardly drink at all and never in the middle of the day. Oh, come on.

No. No.

No, no.

Nope.

I envy you, Mr.

Clement. Me?

Why? I'll tell you why.

I'm listening.

Success. Success?

You, sir, appear to me, sir, to have made a success of your whole life, sir.

no, no.

I'm a very ordinary person. Oh, don't tell me what it is to be ordinary.

I am the most ordinary person you will ever meet. I am much more ordinary than

you are.

I am very, very, very ordinary.

Two more martinis, please.

I'd like to ask you just one question.

Ask away.

Tell me honestly now.

Isn't it possible for someone to reach my age without having experienced even

one single small success in anything he has done?

Everyone has their little success from time to time.

Me.

I, Baraboy, nothing. No, no.

I have not had success in anything at all. Never.

That's not true. Even today, you just sold your business to my clients for 200

,000 pounds. I call that one hell of a success.

Oh, not my business. No, my uncle's business. May he rest in peace.

See, nine years ago, when he was dying, they traced me to Kansas.

A lonely living relation.

That business was worth four times what it is today.

And under my management, it lost three quarters of its value.

If I didn't sell it to you now, next year I'd be dead broke.

Broke? No, I am the most unsuccessful man in the world.

Well, I believe you've got this all out of perspective.

I mean, thousands of things count as success. Things like catching a good

or fixing the motor of your car. Wait, could I have my film?

Or pleasing someone with a present, or winning a small bet, or a good round of

golf.

My handicap is 49.

And what about women, Mr. Sotagos? Women? Yes, women.

Every man under the sun, even the most wretched down -and -out tramp had at

time or other had some silly little success with women.

Never! Don't you like them? Like them? Oh, dear me. Oh, yes,

I like them. I like women.

It's just that you think... Well, I don't know how to say this.

I just don't seem to get along with them.

I mean, I can't get a striking distance of them.

Oh, but there was this girl in high school in Kansas City.

Well, it's been very nice to do business with you, Mr. Baltimore, but I'm afraid

I've got to rush.

Another little matter I have to sort out for my masters.

But don't you worry, Mr. Butterball. You're a rich man now.

The girls will soon come running.

I prefer music.

Do you realize that every name of every great composer begins with a B?

Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Berlioz, Bartok, Britten.

A huge audience applauded, waiting for him to conduct his own first symphony.

He bowed. The great conductor and composer, a living legend, Bada Balls,

natural successor of Bach, Beethoven, Brahms. He captured the time the

orchestra's ready.

Bada Balls, first symphony.

Put the tray on the table, Mason, wouldn't we?

I'm afraid I can't hear you, sir. The music is rather loud.

I said, put the tray on the table, Mason. Thank you very much.

I must say, that was fun.

Really was.

I'll do it.

Now, it's crazy.

But it's not crazy if you do it in private. I mean, who's to know?

Mason? To heck with Mason. He probably does a pretty crazy thing himself.

What's going on here? Some guy's setting up in competition for the festival

hall?

It did seem to go very well, didn't it?

What did you call me? Well, I prefer maestro.

Thank you. Thank you. Yes, the success has been amazing and very gratifying.

My colleague, Leonard Bernstein, another great composer whose name begins with a

B. Bernstein was telling me the other day that he simply has to include a

ball symphony in every program. It's because it's just what people want these

days. Yes, yes, yes.

Music is my life.

It just seems to make me very happy.

No, no, my father didn't want me to be a musician, but I wish he were alive

today to hear people call me maestro.

Well, that's very kind of you. Thank you. Well, we're all laborers in the

business.

Could you tell me, do you sell things conducted with youth?

Batons?

Certainly, sir. Would you like to come this way?

What did sir have in mind?

Something simple for the youth orchestra to follow? Oh, no, I want the real

thing. Give me something Leonard Bernstein might use.

Leonard Bernstein?

How about this one, sir?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Yes, that'll do, thank you.

Is there anything else, sir?

We've got a full range of musical instruments, sheet music.

How about that piano?

Yes, sir.

This gentleman is interested in purchasing a concert grand.

Then he's come to the right place.

This particular instrument has a lovely tone.

That's nice. I'll take it. How soon can you have it delivered?

Tape. I want some tape.

Tape? Yes.

I want the tapes of all Chopin, Beethoven, Walther, the Nocturnes. All?

Just a moment.

This gentleman will serve you now.

Thank you.

I love Chopin. I think he's my favorite. Yes.

I like the Nocturnes the best.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

The Nocturne.

They'll be ready in a minute's time.

Now, can I just have your name and address, please?

Butterball.

B as in Brooklyn, O, Oliver, T, Tommy, I, Idaho, B, Brooklyn, O, Oliver,

L as in love.

Butterball.

You're American?

Yes. Oh, that's a very nice name.

I'm terrible.

Rock shook.

Ratschuk? My father's Polish.

How do you spell that?

W as in Wyoming.

R as in Z -A -S -Z -C -Y -Z -K.

Yes, I believe it's quite common in Poland.

Are you over here on holiday?

No, I live here.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I must say I envy you all those tapes.

I'm building up my Chopin collection one record at a time.

Well, perhaps you could...

Well, I was wondering if someday you'd like to come along and listen to these

tapes.

How nice of you.

Do you really need it?

Oh, yes.

Well, I'd love it. It would be nice if you could come.

When could you come?

Well, I could come tomorrow.

Tomorrow would be lovely.

Fine. I'll give you my card.

What time shall I come tomorrow? Oh, any time. Any time at all.

Three o 'clock?

Yes.

Yes, three o 'clock.

Lovely.

Well, we're there.

Thank you.

Good day.

Good day.

Mason. Yes, sir.

Mason, I'm expecting a young lady to call tomorrow afternoon.

A what? A young lady, Mason.

Very good, sir.

She'll be here at three o 'clock. Her name is almost unpronounceable. It's

of C's and Z's. Miss Radjic. Miss Radjic.

Don't bother to announce her. Just show her in the concert room. I'll be waiting

there for her. I want to surprise her.

Oh,

uh, Mason, do we have any wine in the house?

Wine? Wine, Mason.

We haven't had any wine in this house in 16 or 16 years.

Ever since your uncle expressed it. I know, I know, Mason, I know, but... Will

you get them, please? I'm asking the young lady for dinner.

Very good, then. And what shall it be?

Declare it, Mason, the best you can get. Get a case.

Tell them to deliver it once.

My goodness, a concert hall.

Hello.

I'm so glad you could come.

Oh, Mr. Potter, well, how exciting.

Do you like it? Oh, yes.

You have a concert grand.

May I look? Oh, please.

It's all right, Mason. You can go now.

Do you give concerts here often? As often as I like. You see, I feel that in

order to appreciate a great composer, you have to listen to every single note

and imagine that you composed it yourself.

Do you mean you invite famous musicians here and they give recitals just for

you? No, not exactly.

No, I see.

You give recitals here yourself.

You're a pianist.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew you'd understand.

It's, uh... Irene.

William.

William Waterloo.

Yes, that has a musical sound.

Do you think so?

Do you really think so?

Yes, definitely.

Well, the truth is, Irene, that I... Go on.

You'll laugh at me.

No, I won't. I promise. You'll think I'm crazy.

Tell me.

Here, this place, this concert hall is where I am happiest.

Here, I can truly be myself or rather whoever it is I want to be.

I don't quite understand.

Do you ever think how wonderful it would be to compose a great piece of music?

Oh, yes.

Or perhaps you've imagined yourself a great pianist.

Well, yes.

Hear all your dreams come true.

Imagine if you composed this yourself.

Imagine if you were playing it yourself. What?

I think I'm ridiculous.

I don't. Why do you laugh?

I was thinking what fun.

Then try it.

Please try it. Stand up. Come to the table. No, I don't. Please try it. Try

Play like... Play like Schnabel.

Play like Horowitz.

Play like... Play like Irene Raddick.

Bow, please.

Stand up.

Bow. Please.

I have a wonderful idea.

We play a piano concerto together.

You play the piano, I'll conduct.

It'll be a marvelous occasion.

The audience will go mad.

Please, please, will you do it, Miss Radjic? Irene?

Irene, please.

Will you?

Will you?

Sorry, I get worked up.

Please.

Will you play the piano concerto with me?

Like children.

No one will know. Nobody else perhaps will know.

All right.

I'll do it. I think I'm mad, but I'll do it just the same.

It'll be a bit of a lark.

Tonight.

Yes, all right.

Tonight.

Come back and have dinner with me. We'll give the concert afterwards.

Which is your favorite piano concerto?

The Grieg A Minor.

Good, the Grieg.

You'll play it tonight.

Dinner will be at seven, evening dress.

I've got a dancing dress, but I haven't worn it for years.

You shall wear it tonight.

Great conductor and his lady.

Mr. and Mrs. Bottleball.

Mr. and Mrs.

Yes.

Yes, he's a kindred spirit.

Mr. and Mrs.

Bottleball.

You can play.

You really can play.

Not well, no.

You can, I saw you. You can actually play.

But not like a professional.

You went along with it just to make fun of me.

No, I didn't.

To humiliate me.

Never.

You should have told me you could play. But I can't. I promise I can't play

well. I only teach children at the academy.

The Academy?

Yes. The Music Academy. I teach the piano.

Oh, Mr. Bottle, I've always wanted to be a great pianist.

Perhaps tomorrow I could be Limpany and you can be Bernstein.

Please. You'd better leave now, Miss Radjic.

But... No.

No, no, sorry.

It's not going to work.

Please, go away.

I mean, you're a success in your own way.

I'm a failure.

Your music is real.

Mine's fantasy.

It's two different worlds.

Impossible.