Original subtitles

What if the judge disallows the testimony?

He won't.

What time is it?

9 .34. Well, he might. You know, Judge Vipers has been making some pretty off

-the -wall rulings lately.

Yeah, his wife's been cheating on him.

Let's go get a bike.

Got one all the way.

One all the way.

All right. Make it two.

And the gentleman wants another one.

All right, let's just say, hypothetically, that Judge Dreyfuss

testimony. What then?

He's gonna allow the testimony.

Well, what if he doesn't? I mean, my whole case is based on that testimony.

Well, that and Hound Dog Norris.

Who's Hound Dog Norris? He's the other attorney.

He knows how important the testimony is. He's gonna be standing on his head

trying to get it disallowed. Yeah.

Judge Dreyfuss' wife is cheating on him. The washing machine repairman.

What's that got to do with anything?

Well, the planet is an automobile repairman. Not exactly the same thing,

but it's close enough for drivers to rule in your favor.

I do trust you. It's just sometimes these theories, you know, they're a

confusing.

Lefty knows both.

It's 9 .41.

What are you talking about? You got mustard all over your chin.

All over it.

My suit.

My suit. Look what you did to my suit. You should watch where you're going. My

suit.

Oh, that's a suit.

about the suit.

Did you hear that? I heard it. Come on, we gotta hurry.

The hearing's in ten minutes. I can't go in the courtroom like this.

What are you talking about? I need you there. No, I'm going home and change.

You start without me. Talk slow.

Tipping the scales at 473 pounds, she's the calorically challenged woman.

Why, Joe?

Hey. Let's talk about sex. Ooh, our favorite subject. Hey, Jill, you getting

any? As much as I can.

Aw, get out of here.

Ray, you don't know what it's like to make love to a woman like me.

Ooh. Maybe you ought to try it. Hey, what do you say, Ray, huh? She could

you some things you've never seen before.

Yeah, I bet she could.

Well, you're going to have to tune in tomorrow to find out Ray's answer.

Okay, Jill, we've got a date tomorrow at 9 .35, and in the meantime, you're

about to become the first recipient of the all -new WFZY giveaway.

It's an official Rick and Ray callus scraper. That's right, Rick, and all you

aliens out there who don't know anything about calluses or how to scrape them,

join us at 7 a .m. for more information from the infamous and sometime

infantile...

away from me.

Only you could come up with something that revolting.

Now, will you please stop that? That's revolting.

Crisis management, may I help you?

Yeah. Oh, Ricky. Ricky, she wants to know why she can't go to the radio

with you.

Rick Hamlin.

Tonight.

Thick as a dog. I'm going home to bed.

You too?

You could be here all day, lady.

Hey, don't listen to him. He's having a bad hair day.

No.

Yeah, next week. Maybe.

Yeah, right.

Bye.

What's wrong?

Why didn't you call me last night?

I knew you were working.

Well, I'm not working tonight.

So why don't I cook you dinner at your place?

Well,

I didn't know you could cook.

I know how to do everything, baby.

You know what we need?

What could we possibly need?

I think we need a little wine.

But you said you didn't want any wine.

Mm -hmm. That was before when it was your idea.

But this time it's my idea.

Let me get you some wine.

No, no. Stay here.

I'll get it.

Okay.

I'll give you that.

Mr. Matlock, thanks for coming. Oh, sure.

You're not bald.

No, no, it's just one of Ray's bad jokes.

I love the morning you had on that highway dating game. Oh, that was a good

shuffle. Of course you liked that one. That was my idea.

You want to know what Ray wanted to do that day? Mail strippers. Hey, Ray,

hello, it's radio. You can't even see strippers.

I thought you guys liked each other. You sounded like it. No, we just sounded

like it.

No kidding.

Acting, Mr.

Matlock. We didn't see each other. We didn't speak to each other. I'd say for

about the last three years, we actively despised each other. Oh, that's why the

police wanted to talk to you. Yeah, that and the fact that somebody with a

ponytail like mine was seen running from the scene.

Well, a lot of men have ponytails these days. Yeah, and then there was the

little matter of the callus. Oh, yeah, that thing you had on the show.

Yeah, it was another one of Ray's bonehead ideas.

I thought it was like the... Stupidest thing I ever heard of in my life. But he

goes ahead and orders dozens of the thing. And he has my name printed up on

of them. Where does it end up? Oh, that's right, ladies and gentlemen.

outside of Ray's bedroom window.

Yeah, wherever Ray is now, you can bet he's laughing his head off.

I don't get something.

If you hated each other, why'd you stay together?

Money.

We're a team. We're like Rick and Ray.

Separately, we're just run -of -the -mill DJs.

But together, we've got something special. We have something people want

listen to. Alone, not much.

Whoever shot Ray pretty much shot my career.

Well, one good thing.

At least it shows that you didn't have a motive.

It's this time I have my lawyer with me.

Detective Pat Pelletti.

How'd you get the orange out of your suit?

You're a police detective?

We serve and protect homicides.

Do you recognize this cap?

Is that a question he won't answer at this time on advice of counsel?

No matter. His name's inverted on the inside.

It was found two doors down from Ray Wallace's place in the garbage.

Is this yours, too?

On advice of counsel... It was in the cap.

So, Mr. Hanlon, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come with me.

No, wait a minute. Go ahead.

I'll come with you.

A little early to be drinking, isn't it? It's tea. Do you mind? Oh, well, your

tea's a hundred pounds.

Why do you always have to stand so close to people?

You gotta hear this.

The station manager records everything that goes on in here before, during, and

after every single broadcast.

He says he's gonna write a book someday.

Yeah, if that chance, guy could barely write his own name.

Anyway, um, this is a tape recording of what went on in here right after

yesterday's broadcast.

Get this thing away from me.

Only you could come up with something that revolting.

There. Did you hear that?

That was me.

I couldn't stand that stupid callous scraper. I threw it across the room.

What do you think?

What do I think about what?

I hated the callous scraper. Why would I carry around something I hated? I

wouldn't. I mean, it proves I'm being framed, right? The DA is going to say

you knew you were being taped, and that's why you did all those things.

We have to have more.

There is no more.

Whoever killed Ray, broke in here after we left, took one of those talus

scrapers and stole one of my hats.

Do I have an alibi? No. I was home all night blowing my nose.

Okay, just try to take it easy. Take it easy? I can't. You're looking at a guy

who's going to spend the rest of his life in prison because of a talus

All right, all right. Tell me everybody who was in here when you threw that

scraper. All right.

You're right.

Whoa.

Ray had some babe in here right before I left.

I didn't get her name.

Oh. Oh.

I got her voice, though.

Counselor, good to see you.

I think.

When you suggested we talk over dinner, I kind of thought you meant a

restaurant. Well, I kind of did.

I live here with my ma, and she's the best Italian cook in all of Atlanta.

You keep your paws off her.

Right this way.

Ah, there's my mother. Sophia Pelletti, Ben Matlock.

Sit, sit, sit. Yeah, come in.

Sit down, sit down.

Okay.

I hope you're gonna like this.

Oh, it looks good.

Thank you.

My, um, Pat tells me you're a lawyer.

That's right.

She also says you're a little clumsy.

I'm clumsy? Oh, now let's not start that again.

I like a man with a little fire in his belly.

There's room for someone there, too.

The man's here on business, isn't it?

Oh, what did you want to talk to me about?

Oh, I wanted you to hear something.

Rick did not commit that murder. Oh, yes, he did.

Sure as I'm sitting here with garlic bread.

There was somebody in the control room, thank you, with Ray right after he and

Rick finished their show. A woman.

She could have picked up that callus scraper, stolen the cap. She knew Rick

going to be home with a cold.

I'm not working tonight.

So why don't I cook you dinner at your house?

I didn't know you knew how to cook.

I know how to do everything, baby.

Sharon Perlene. She was with him when he got whacked. They've been going out for

a couple of months. You already talked to her?

Yeah, she's the one who called the police.

Look, if you want to meet her, just show up at Ray's house tomorrow at 1. I'm

releasing her stuff. Now, eat your manicot before my ma has a cow.

What was she doing at Ray's house?

They were in bed together.

Now, eat.

Hello, Detective.

Hi. This is Ben Matlock. He's the lawyer defending Rick Hamlin.

And why would you want to do a thing like that, Mr. Matlock?

Ooh, larder stain.

You know, you don't get them off, they'll ruin your paint.

Mr. Matlock here is kind of an expert when it comes to stains.

Would you mind if we went in? This is going to be rather painful. I'd like to

get it over with.

Were you here the night Ray was murdered?

We all know you read my statement, Mr. Matlock.

After you.

It occurred to me this morning that if I had been in the room, I would have been

killed, too.

My things are in the closet. May I get them?

She dropped the wine when she saw the body.

Club Soda will get that out, right?

You pretty good around the house?

Yeah. Ooh,

iron your own shirts.

Yeah.

Do some cooking, a little cleaning.

Yeah. Me?

I'm no good at that stuff.

You're the guy I've been looking for.

Did you find the bag lady the neighbor saw leaving the scene? Oh, bag lady.

Well, Mr. Yates said he saw a short woman in a red sweatshirt and yellow

Not exactly what I'd call a detailed description.

You're not even going to look for her? She might have seen the killer.

Oh, Mr. Matlock, newsflash. I already got the killer.

Uh, excuse me. Did, uh... Did you see her?

Did I see who?

The bag lady.

Oh, no.

I, to be quite honest, never give people like that a second glance.

What do you do?

What do you mean, what do I do?

I mean work.

I edit a weekly magazine.

Hard?

No. It's time -consuming.

Mondays and Tuesdays, I normally work till midnight.

But Wednesdays, after we go to press, I celebrate.

That's the time that I would spend with Ray. That became our night.

I would spend Wednesdays with Ray.

I thought about it all week.

Just being with him.

May I go, please?

Yeah, yeah.

Nice -looking dame.

She's okay.

Did you ever hear of a nightclub called Martel's?

Yeah, it's a trendy place. Anything goes.

You know.

Look at all these credit card charges here.

Looks like he went there Monday and Tuesday.

Oh, and the cat's away.

You know where it is?

Sure, it's 19th and Adams. Why?

Well, hi, sailor.

Hi.

Did you see that wild -looking girl?

Oh, her?

She's a he.

Come on, Mr.

Sandman. Here. All right.

You want to dance?

He likes you.

What kind of place is this?

I think you heard his feelings.

You'll just have to get over it.

Heartbreaker.

Hey, Bobby!

Hey, Pat!

What can I get for you?

I think you can spill.

Not a thing. I gotta go. But look.

The suit here went down in a couple of places.

Do me a favor. Tell him the truth.

Did he come in by himself or was he with the last couple of weeks? He was with

the same girl. I know her name.

Dunn. Marcia Dunn.

Hey, Neil.

Hey, Ben. What's going on?

Some woman either OD'd or offed herself.

Looks like it happened sometime yesterday.

Name wasn't Marcia Dunn, was it?

Yeah. How did you know?

I don't know. Just looking.

I have no idea who Marcia Dunn is.

Why do you ask, Detective?

Because there's a mulberry tree outside of her apartment.

I beg your pardon? And you have mulberry stains on your car.

And she was seeing your late boyfriend, Ray Wallace.

Really?

And because she was found dead yesterday.

Apparent suicide. The medical examiner says she injected something called

Darzac.

what my father used when he killed himself.

The day after your stepmother was found shot to death.

Ancient history.

Is there a point to all of this, Detective?

Point? Oh, no.

Except the people in your life have a tendency to die.

This magazine you edit, it's a medical journal?

Yes, it is.

Editing all that scientific stuff must be pretty difficult.

Not at all.

Actually, it's quite fun.

Pretty smart, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

Also pretty possessive when it comes to men?

I am no more possessive than the next woman.

Are you possessive, Detective?

It wouldn't bother you to know that Ray Wallace was sleeping with someone else?

Not at all.

My relationship with Ray was a purely physical one.

We both wanted the same thing.

Sex.

Not love.

Not marriage.

Just sex. sick.

Haven't you ever had a relationship like that, detective?

Where all you wanted to do was get into bed?

You didn't answer my question.

The truth.

I encouraged Ray to seek out other partners.

Practice makes perfect, don't you agree?

This free love attitude of yours, it's very hip.

You should be on Oprah.

That's all you can go.

Oh, Miss Perlene, if you, as you say, encourage Ray to seek out other

partners, why didn't he tell you about Marsha?

I don't know.

That's a very good question.

Thanks for coming down.

Well, she's some piece of work.

She was toying with you.

Why? I think this whole thing's a big game to her.

Yeah? Well, if she killed Ray Wallace, this is one game she's not going to win.

I take my wife to physical therapy every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

You always come home at the same time?

No, sometimes we go to the pool afterwards or to a movie or out to eat.

We get home at all different times.

Does your car make a lot of noise?

Better not. It's brand new.

It wouldn't make any difference anyway. The stereo is so loud, she couldn't have

heard it.

All right, thanks, Mr. Yates. You can go home.

Thanks.

How did she do it?

You think her scheme really depended on this gentleman seeing her?

Look, she had to have known when he and his wife were going to be home that

night.

Wait a minute.

Stay there.

Get into bed with me.

What?

I'll be gentle.

No!

What, do you think I ought to try something? Get in the bed.

I

don't feel

right about it.

You're fabulous in bed.

I'm getting up.

Come on, come on.

See? That's it.

That's how she knew.

Every time Yates pulls in his driveway, his lights shine in here.

Yeah, she sees the light, makes some excuse, and leaves the room.

I'll kill the music.

She comes in here, throws on that disguise, must have had it stashed in

somewhere, goes outside, shoots Ray, knowing Mr.

Yates would see her and give the police...

A description that fits Rick Hamlin.

Then she drops the callus scraper, comes back inside, takes off the disguise,

hides it, and then she pours some wine.

That way it looks like she had a reason to be in here when Ray was shot.

Then it's back to the bedroom, sees the body, does that screaming meme you would

see Mr. Yates comes running and gives her an alibi.

Then after the police are gone, she just dumps the cap and the gun in somebody's

trash.

What's up?

Did I miss something?

The bottle.

If they were having wine, where's the bottle?

I'm looking for somebody. A woman, short, late 50s.

She wears a red sweatshirt, a yellow bandana. Good luck, honey. She was last

seen Wednesday night going through the garbage cans on the 1400 block of Forest

Lane.

The man I work for is real anxious to talk to her.

Immediately recognizable.

Whoever can tell me what that is gets the money.

She keeps all her stuff in a double

-decker shopping cart from Value Rights.

Bingo. What's her name?

B.

I know where she is, too.

You sure you know where she is? Wait a minute, wait a minute.

There.

Thanks. Oh, don't tell her I sicked you on her.

She's kind of loony.

Some say she carries an axe.

Well, you got here just in time.

In time for what?

Money.

Would you put some suntan lotion on my back?

Oh, well, I don't know.

They say that too much sun is not good for a person.

I know.

But I love the heat.

Go ahead.

Spread it all over me.

Oh, that feels so good.

Would you spread it on my legs, too, please?

Well... So, Tell me, why are you here?

Oh, I wanted to ask you about that wine you were pouring when Ray was shot.

Don't stop. Keep doing it.

What'd you do with the bottle?

What do you mean?

There wasn't a half -empty or empty bottle of red wine.

in ray's house so i wondered where you got the wine you spilled in the bedroom

from now where do you think i got it from well there there was an

empty bottle of red wine found outside red's house in

the trash can so maybe you poured those two glasses earlier in the day

and stacked them away someplace

Now, why would I do something like that?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe you realized that you were pressed for time and you

had to go out of the bedroom and dress up like Rick and run outside and shoot

Ray and run back in the house to get rid of the costume, go back in the bedroom

all in two minutes, no more.

Oh, so...

You think I shot Ray?

Well, you're wrong.

Although you are right about one thing. I did pour the wine earlier that day

while I was fixing dinner.

But then when Ray came home, we just made love.

Forgot about the wine.

Didn't you ever have that happen to you, Ben?

Where an overwhelming desire for sex just made you change your plans?

No, not likely.

That's a shame.

Excuse me.

That's a good one. What do you think?

Huh? What is it?

Well, hello, Baylor.

Hi. Nope, never saw her.

Maybe she never came in here.

Well, if Ray and Marsha hung out in here, it stands to reason that Sharon

have seen them here.

Hey, I recognize those threads. Where'd you get them?

Vintage clothing.

Since you've got such a good memory.

Never see her.

I don't know this girl too much.

Oh, you want to dance?

No. Why, dear Wedding Bell.

Oh, come on. He's a nice boy. Forget it. Work steady. Forget it.

All right.

We can't just sit here anymore.

I've got to do something.

Look, Judy Gale, Tim, you take care of Ben.

Please. Excuse me. I said, I have your attention, please.

Hey.

Hey.

Yeah, could we drop music?

Huh. That's more like it.

Okay.

Most of you know who I am.

One or two of you do not.

Pat Poletti.

I'm a police officer. I'm conducting a murder investigation.

And I would like to know if any one of you has ever seen this lovely woman in

here. Here, pass this around, would you? Come on.

Okay, just pass it around and get a good look and tell me if anyone has seen

her. Anyone at all. Come on.

Anybody at all.

Get a good look. Don't be shy. Step right up. Tell us all about it.

Maybe she wore a disguise when she came in here.

No, I don't think so, Ben. Let's face it, this has been a dead end.

But at least you had fun with Tim and Judy Gale. Oh, it changed my life.

Well, I won't tell anyone.

Take that? Yep.

Do you always write down the license plate number on these?

Sure do.

Do you keep them?

Yeah. How long?

A few months.

You ever go to a nightclub called Martel's?

No. Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Is the license plate number on your car LSP3A7?

Yes, it is.

This parking stub was taken with a warrant from the attendant

at Martel's yesterday. The attendant's there.

mark down the license plate number on the ticket for every car they park.

And they keep them up to six months. Something to do in Europe.

Would you just read the license plate number on this ticket?

LSP -387.

That's your license plate number.

Yes, it is.

I guess the attendant must have made a mistake.

Or it could be that you're lying.

It could be that you did go to Martell's and that you did see your boyfriend,

Ray Wallace, with Marcia Dunn there.

And either right then or sometime soon thereafter, you, what, decided to

kill them both?

I'm sorry, Mr. Matlock, is there a date on that stuff?

Yes. May 29th.

That explains it.

Well, my sister was in town and I lent her my car. She must have gone to

Martell's.

She doesn't get a chance to go to nightclubs very much. You know, she

Mason City, Iowa.

Mr. Matlock?

Oh, I have no more questions, Your Honor.

Witness may step down.

Your Honor, I have one more witness.

I'd like to call, but with the court's permission, I'd like to wait till in the

morning. Sounds like a good idea to me, Mr. Matlock.

Court will reconvene at 9 a .m. tomorrow.

My grandma.

What a big night you have.

like we got you.

Let's take her to the car.

You have the right to leave the car, I think.

Yes.

And some more for our own prison boy.

It's awfully good and great to be free.

Unemployed, but free.

Eat, makes your hair grow.

I never heard that.

Guaranteed. My husband, Mr.

So, passed away at 83.

Eight passed away. every day.

Died, had all his hair. Yeah. He had also arthritis, high blood pressure,

cholesterol, and bad feet. He had his hair.

Oh.

So, you bring this homeless woman into court. What's her name? Bea? Bea. Bea.

And this Sharon Dane, she thinks that Bea saw something and was going to

against her. Right? Yeah.

Uh -huh.

But what a plan.

You make this pearling dame think that my Pat is the bag lady.

Ma, could I please have some pasta?

Why? You looked enough like the bag lady to be her.

What up? Yeah, well, it was your daughter's plan. It wasn't mine.

Oh, hey.

Don't get me wrong. I love my daughter. I do more than life itself.

Ma.

Let's have a toast.

To...

And Sophia.

And Ben.

And Freedom.

And Pasta.

And Hair.

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, Benny.

Now look what you've done, huh?