All language subtitles for cybill_s02e07_they_shoot_turkeys_dont_they

Timmy, do you know what you found?

This jewel is the sacred eye of Moabba.

Someone must get this back to the
Zendure Temple or we're all doomed.

Dylan, it's your line.

But, uh, nobody likes a bossy director.

Hal, we really need to rehearse this
scene, okay?

Yeah, well, I don't give a rat's ass
about the scene. People watch my movies

because I'm lovable. You got that?

So, Dylan, what game are you playing?

Oh, just one where an old blonde lady
asks you a bunch of stupid questions and

you get to hack her to death.

Sounds fun. Can I see it? Hey, hands off
the hair, you old witch!

Bitch!

Well, I better get back to the coven.

Those cats aren't going to skin
themselves.

monster, huh?

The soda's warm. Give me a cold one,
Barbara.

Yes, sir.

They say you should never work with kids
or animals. I'd say he qualifies as

both.

Uh -huh. And his parents.

You see them here teaching him any
values?

No, they're too busy cashing his
paychecks.

People like that make me sick. How do
you stand it?

I'm his mother.

Since he fired his dad, I've really got
to watch my step.

Cute kid.

Love him.

Really lovable.

Yesterday. Sybil, I have fabulous news.

My prodigal son is returning.

Justin is coming home for Thanksgiving.

That's wonderful.

I knew he'd come back. It's been three
years, Sybil, without a word.

You remember the night he left?

I'd just come back from that Save Our
Furs benefit.

He told me he hated my entire pampered
materialistic existence.

Then he asked for $2 ,000 and left for
Peru.

Maybe being away three years changed his
mind.

Maybe the money ran out.

Sybil, I don't want to celebrate another
40th birthday without him.

I want to prove to him that I'm not
something he has to run away from. And

going to start by showing him the best
old -fashioned Thanksgiving we've ever

had. Well, except for that one in Aruba
with Ivana Trump and Richard Simmons.

Hey, I've got an idea.

Why don't you bring Justin to my house?

Everyone's in town.

So I'm going to make a good old
-fashioned Memphis Thanksgiving.

I'm going to use all four Southern food
groups.

Sugar, salt, grease, and alcohol.

It sounds tempting, but I can't. Oh,
come on. The whole family's going to be

there, and you're part of my family. Did
I mention there'll be alcohol?

I'd love to, darling, but I want Justin
all to myself this weekend.

I'm even going to cook.

All his favorite health foods.

Oh, one question. Is it still correct to
call it brown rice, or is it rice of

color?

Hey, Mom.

Hey, Zoe. I didn't expect to see you
here today.

Well, I missed you.

Really? Yeah, right.

I came to visit Sean.

Oh, too bad. I was going to take you
shopping for a car today.

I love you, mommy.

Yeah, right.

Listen, since you're here, I need to
tell you something, and please don't

me any grief.

Justin used to talk to me with veiled
contempt.

Cherish these moments, Sybil.

Sean and I want to spend Thanksgiving
together.

Well, that's no problem. I'd love to
have Sean.

At his house with his family eating
their food.

But, Zoe, the whole family was going to
be there. It wouldn't be the same

without you.

Thanks, Mom. I knew you'd understand.

Hey, Sean, Mom said okay.

Okay, you can spend Thanksgiving with
Sean.

But I owe you on Columbus Day, Missy.

Oh, hi, Sid.

Camping equipment?

Ira, you hate camping. You don't even
like eating out on the patio.

Those days are over. I just had a deep
fear of the primal feelings the outdoors

stirred in me. That's funny. It always
came out eek, a bee.

Hey, I happen to be allergic. One sting,
I swell up like Marlon Brando.

Did this camping trip have something to
do with your writer's block?

Sybil, I don't have writer's block.

I'm having a complete mental, emotional,
and spiritual breakdown.

Well, at least you're writing again.

even close.

But I did read Iron John this weekend,
and I decided what I need to do is

release the wild man within.

Release him?

Ira, this is your wild man we're talking
about.

Poor little guy's probably afraid to
come out.

Hey, Sim, thanks for letting me store
this stuff. Whoa, you too?

Yep, me and my buddy Ira. We're gonna
head up to Big Bear tonight, smear some

mud on our chest, howl at the moon, and
cook a turkey in the earth.

you go on this trip, you've released
your wild man in every cheap motel in

Southern California.

He said he'd buy the beer.

You guys, you said you were coming and I
bought all the food and everything and

Terry was going to bring the baby.

Terry's taking the kid on a business
trip with her to Prague.

She says she wants him to see Eastern
Europe.

He's two months old. He doesn't even
know he has feet.

Hi, Mom.

Dad. Dad. Hey, Rach. Oh, there's
Grandma's itty -bitty little pumpkin

There you go. Already you're suppressing
his wild boy within.

That's the problem. Kids today don't
have strong adult males around to

counterbalance all that pumpkin bunny
stuff.

Hey, Billy boy, how are your booties
hanging, huh?

Mom, make them stop.

Go.

Smear mud.

Be men.

Wild men.

And beer.

Mom, um, I need to talk to you about
Thanksgiving.

Don't tell me you're not coming. Okay,
but then you're going to be even more

disappointed if I don't show up.

What? It's Kevin's parents. They're
insisting that we go to Boston.

Well, happy Thanksgiving to me!

You know, these things are hard to find.

I could have settled for some cheap
pilgrim cutouts, but I wanted the best

my family. And this is the thanks I get?

Here. Why don't you give this horn of
plenty to Kevin's mother?

I just sit here with my pathetic horn of
nothing.

I'm sorry, Mom, but at least you'll have
the rest of the family.

Wrong. You mean you're going to be all
alone?

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

This is a good dry run for the nursing
home years.

I'll just take out my teeth and gum some
stuffing.

Oh, that little William just gets cuter
every day.

I can't let Justin see me like this.

Everything in my wardrobe screams Rodeo
Drive. I need something that says I'm

not special. So I thought I'd see what
you have.

Oh, Marianne. They're the nicest things.

But not to me.

Here, let's try these for a start.

Oh, they're nice. They're like shoes,
only someone sawed the heels off.

Yeah, that was my great -grandma's idea.

Mama's heels just kept getting stuck in
the mud when she was plowing.

Now you're taller than I remember.

Do you know what you found here?

This jewel is the sacred eye of Moabah.

Someone must return this to the temple
of Vandoria or we'll all be doomed.

I'll go. No.

You're just a boy. It's too dangerous.

Cut! Hey, I told you never to touch the
hair, lady.

Killing children is wrong. Killing
children is wrong.

Okay, okay. Okay, let's take it back to,
uh, but you're just a boy.

Okay? And action.

But you're just a boy. It's too
dangerous.

Remember, you're not out there alone.

Your father is watching you. Your mother
is... Get your hand off my ass.

You know you liked it, babe. You're
asking for it, you sawed -off little

packwood. Who do you think you're
talking to?

You, you arrogant little punk.

You know, someday you're gonna get
pimples and your voice is gonna change,

then what are you gonna do, huh? Huh?

Hey, look, I don't take this crap from a
nobody like you.

You know, that kid on the Wonder Years
used to be real cute, too.

Oh, jeez. Dylan!

Dylan!

I worship you.

Yeah, yeah, get in line.

Hey, everybody, let's hear it for Sybil.

Now, now.

You know, when you've been in the
business as long as I have, you don't

anybody push you around, especially if
they're three feet shorter than you.

I remember one time I was on The
Partridge Family. Okay, everyone, that's

wrap. Dylan says he's done for the day.

What do you mean? We still have two
scenes to shoot. We'll shoot them

Everyone be here at 9 a .m. Hey,
tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

And this movie has to wrap tomorrow. It
goes on the air in three weeks. You got

a problem with that? Talk to Sybil. It's
her fault.

Come on. What's so great about
Thanksgiving?

It's just a celebration of how we
screwed the Native Americans.

hard enough playing out a desperate
charade for my son without you mocking

i'm sorry i'm just cranky first my
family bailed on me now i have to work

thanksgiving oh you poor dear would you
like a glass of burdock root tea it's a

natural diuretic no i'm trying to retain
water

tragedy was happening there.

Sybil, what exactly is happening there?

It's a long story. You see, the
rainforests are the lungs of our planet,

we cut them down... Well, you'll tell me
over dinner.

Oh, is that what that is?

Dinner? Mmm.

Smells.

Smells.

Say, tell me if you think Justin will
like this. I'm making all of his

macrobiotic foods for Thanksgiving.

Then you finally found the kitchen.

Don't be silly. I've been there before.

It's the room with the ice machine.

So I'm the first person to actually
sample your cooking. I feel deeply

And deeply afraid.

I should warn you. What? Warn me what?

They say if this food is cooked
correctly, the first few bites taste

Well,

you did a good job.

That's squash with hijiki.

What's hijiki? Aquatic vegetables.

It tastes like something Flipper coughed
up.

That's the beauty of it.

Oh, and I have acorn cake sweetened with
semi -permented brown rice for dessert.

Oh, and it's not even my birthday.

Oh, God.

My cake fell.

How can you tell?

I said, well, I'm just not good at this.

Justin's going to see right through me.

I don't live like this. I don't eat like
this.

And God, these clothes.

I look positively Baltic.

Marianne, all you have to do is be
yourself.

When I was young, I chose to make my
family my career.

What a joke that was.

Dr. Dick doesn't want anything to do
with me.

If the restraining order is any
indication.

I want my son back.

Marianne, he's coming for you. He's
coming to see his mother.

I'm not the mother you want.

if I became a Buddhist.

They're deep, right?

Marianne, you're good enough just the
way you are.

I guess we could serve the acorn cake to
the pigeons.

Just shoot them. It's more humane.

I'm really sorry. I never would have
yelled at that kid if I'd known we'd

to work on Thanksgiving.

That's okay. I can visit my dying
grandmother in Vermont anytime.

Ow!

You know, we do get paid double for
working the holiday. That's got to come

handy with a dying grandmother and all.

Ow, ow, ow!

Ah, the perfect Thanksgiving.

Empty house, sushi, and the director's
cut of Blade Runner.

And I didn't even have to lie. I just
said I was having dinner at your house.

You sure no one's going to be home?
Yeah, my mother's working, and Dad and

went off in search of their manhood, so
they won't be back anytime soon.

Mom?

Zoe?

Rachel?

Here.

Burp him.

So, we're on the plane, and Kevin says
he wants to sit by the window. And it

hits me, it's always about what he
wants. We're flying to see his parents

my mom sits home with a broken heart.

P .S. I just grabbed a cab and the baby
came straight here because I didn't want

my mom sitting home alone on
Thanksgiving.

Where in the hell is she anyway?

Hey, we're back.

Is there any turkey left?

Oh, Lee, tell me that's actual food.

So at first... There goes the sushi.

I'm starving. Jeff lost our turkey in
the woods.

It wasn't my idea to bury it in the
first place. I distinctly told you to

a stake in the grass so we wouldn't
forget where it was.

You said you were going to stay right by
it.

Of course that was before that chipmunk
drove you screaming into the night.

It wasn't a chipmunk.

It was a squirrel.

He had big patches of fur missing. I
don't think he was well.

Hello, Mother Sheridan?

Kevin? Oh, great, another half -person.

Hello, Rachel. Hello, Kevin.

Why aren't you in Boston?

I think it's obvious that I decided not
to go, not that you left me much choice.

I'm sorry, Kevin, but I felt it was very
important to be here for my mother.

Well, I can understand that feeling,
especially having just gotten off the

with my mother, who is regretful in the
extreme.

Well, Kevin, I guess we have a different
opinion.

Rachel, if you're going to lose control
like that, I think we should talk in

private.

All right.

I hope you'll excuse the outburst, but
marriage isn't all please and thank you.

Wow.

Sybil really went all out this year.
Turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberries. We

would have had a much better day if we
just let her cook for it. She hardly

loses a turkey.

You know, this might not be such a bad
Thanksgiving after all. If Sybil got

by six, she could have the turkey ready
by ten.

Yeah, and while it's a -cookin', she'll
still have time to do the cleanin' and

the mendin'. I suppose we could cook it.

Yeah, it'd be just like my home ec
class, except I won't be the only boy.

Dylan suggested a few changes.

I'll bet. What do I do next? Fall off a
cliff?

Ha! I knew it.

She lands next to a large, venomous
snake, rolls away into a pit of

and dies. Oh, come on. It's
Thanksgiving.

Haven't I suffered enough?

Okay. Ready to rehearse.

Two giblets from inside cavity.

Well, Jeff, what are you waiting for?

I can't believe I'm about to stick my
hand up some turkey's butt.

Well, try giving it a name. It'll make
it more personal.

Hey, look at the stuff I gathered from
the centerpiece.

Two pine cones that symbolize the fall.

A crab apple to commemorate the harvest.

And is there a freshener from the car
just to make it smell nice in here?

Isn't it festive?

Oh, Kevin.

You've been a bad, bad quarterback.

This isn't Zoe's room.

Let's do lunch sometime.

Really?

Hi,

Dylan.

Somebody must have put mare in his
shampoo.

Who would do such a thing?

It was in his conditioner.

It wouldn't be the Cowboys without those
cheerleaders.

I'm telling you, that Cunningham is a
bad, bad quarterback.

It's all just a big joke to you, isn't
it?

Well, let me tell you something. If two
married people want to play the frisky

cheerleader and the bashful quarterback,
it's their own damn business.

You didn't tell them, did you?

Food, let's eat. Come on.

Hey, let's eat.

Shouldn't we wait for your mother? She
wouldn't wait for us.

She'd probably eat at the set anyway.

Dear Heavenly Father, we'd like to thank
you for this deal.

Touchdown. I can't believe this.

Hi, how are you?

You're all here. I thought you had other
plans.

Oh, I get it.

It's a surprise.

Thanks.

story.

And that wild man thing, Earth to Sybil.

Gotcha.

Zoe, I know that look. I bet you were
behind this whole thing. Maybe we will

you that car.

I just can't wait to dig in.

I'll get it. Y 'all have been slaving in
the kitchen all day. Thanks.

Didn't somebody tell her? Blow that car
and you're a dead man.

Justin.

That's kind of a cute holiday tale.

On his way to the airport in Portland,
he decided to stop at a poultry farm and

liberate all the turkeys.

To make a long story short, he was
arrested, and he used his one phone call

let me know and apologize.

Oh, Marianne, I'm sorry.

Why do we have to have these wretched
holidays? It's all so pagan.

The hot toddies, the mulled wine, the
endless champagne toasts.

Who am I kidding? I love this time of
year.

Are you gonna be okay?

I'm never gonna spend another holiday
with Justin.

There's always gonna be some cause more
important than his mother.

The only way I can get his attention is
to turn up on the endangered species

list.

Your family's here. I'm gonna go. No,
I'm not gonna let you wallow in this

alone. Wait here.

Everybody?

I know you went to a lot of trouble, and
you have made this the best

Thanksgiving ever, but there's something
I've got to do.

So, bye.

So long, Stephanie. Are

you

sure we should be doing this?

Maybe Justin has other plans.

Like what? Making bail?

I'd like to let you back out of this.

Thanks, pal.

Well, you'd do the same for me.

Maria, do you realize we are the only
passengers on this plane?

Hmm. Yeah, I have an idea.

Why don't we take a couple of these
bottles to the cockpit?

Get the pilot liquored up and see if we
can get him to do a loop.