Original subtitles

It's so cold. Even with my coat on.

Maybe your senator boyfriend has a blanket in his car

for screwing americans.

Yet another opportunity where a blanket would have come in handy.

You guys, this has to stop. Someone could have got hurt.

What if Meredith was taking her smoking break

below that window? You know what would have happened?

The shards of glass would have shaved her face.

It might have been funny, but also incredibly tragic.

I agree.

And I want to state for the record that I am intending to sue Jim

for acute psychological distress.

What are you talking about? You're the one terrorizing me.

With snowballs, Jim? With fluffy little snowballs?

- No, I thought we were just playing. - Dwight's right.

That was dangerous and inappropriate.

I'm really surprised at you guys.

Last time I was here, you were both best friends.

All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story.

You see this on my desk?

Know who gave me this?

My girlfriend Tara, who lives in New York.

- Wait, what girlfriend? - I haven't told you about her.

I find that unlikely. You email me when you get a new zit.

I'm in my 40s, and I still get zits. I think that's pretty interesting.

But I am not on trial here. The Scranton strangler is.

So anyway, we have this great weekend,

and she drives me to the airport, and we get to JFK,

but I'm flying out of Laguardia.

So we laugh, and then we spend the rest of the day

walking around slomo drinking latte.

And at the end of the day, she gives me this,

and she says: "Michael, next time, you should take a cab."

- I didn't know you had a girlfriend. - I do. She is.

Did you see her face?

It seems to me that a person sitting in the annex

that still has feelings for Michael G. Scott.

And it ain't Tara.

So you went homemade this year.

Money problems, is that what this is about?

Dear, we can't help you.

No. Jim had a great year, actually.

I just wanted to get your opinion.

- Are you good at homemade? - Look at this.

Who did this?

I'm not welcome here, but tell me who did this,

or I'm leaving.

I don't think Erin seems to like you.

That's not true.

- I don't know her enough. - What happened?

Toby, what did you do?

Toby's very jealous of the attention you've been getting.

No, I would never ever do anything like that.

But it does seem you would.

Really? Turn it on me.

Well, isn't that nice? Thank you very much.

Wait, guys, listen.

Toy Story is all about toys that come to life

when people aren't looking.

You don't think... It's not possible...

that Woody did this to himself?

- It is Christmas. - No,

it really seems like something Michael would do.

The fact that you would think that

points to the possibility that it is probably not me.

- And that I have been framed. - Why?

I'm sorry, why are we discounting the "Woody came to life" so quickly?

Surprise! It was part of the party.

- Pretty funny, no? - You think this is funny?

I don't.

But someday I think we will laugh about this...

- When we tell our kids... - Yikes.

- My god. - All right!

Holly, I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident.

An accident borne of jealous feelings.

Michael, you have to let this go.

I'm with someone else. I don't feel that way anymore.

Really?

You certainly seemed jealous when I talked about my fake girlfriend.

- That's what Jim and Dwight thought. - No, fake girlfriends are wrong.

You made up a fake girlfriend to see if I'd get jealous?

And you destroyed a gift my boyfriend gave me?

What is the matter with you?

When you got transferred,

and I drove you up to Nashua, you said:

"Michael, I love you, but I can't do this."

But then, with this other guy,

you don't have any problem with a long-distance relationship.

And you know what?

That is what is the matter with me.

- Michael, I'm sorry. - And we did this stupid party for you.

You guys, it wasn't my fault.

Nothing is ever your fault.

Just like when you ate those maple candies

that you brought for us!

I really think you're better off.

Erin, would you do me a favor and find my street clothes for me?

Is she an amazing cook or something?

"Hey, Pickles, Merry Christmas.

"Open immediately.

Love, Swiss cheese."

Damn it, Dwight!

Didn't think your affectionate nicknames would be your undoing, did you, Jim?

Let that be a lesson to you all.

So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out?

No, they bring it in.

You lucky son of a bitch.

I have been trying to get on jury duty

every single year since I was 18 years old.

To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown,

judging people while my lunch is paid for...

That is the life.

Daddy, I'm bored.

Can I read my book in your office?

Sure, sweetie.

Jada, Darryl, i'm so glad I found you guys.

A grinch stole the star from on top of the Christmas tree

and is hiding it in the warehouse somewhere.

You want to go help me find him?

I am the mean old grinch.

The little girl

who wishes to win back the Christmas star

must first succeed

at these challenges.

That sounds fun and christmasy, you mean old grinch.

What kind of challenges?

Something like an obstacle course, Mr. Grinch?

You must answer

topical political questions.

"How many congressmen...

"is the state of Pennsylvania guaranteed?

And what other state has the equal number?"

I don't know.

Do you know the other state?

Maybe the grinch hid the christmas star,

and we could ask for clues,

and he'll tell us if we're hot or cold.

The star has been hidden.

Is the little girl hot or cold?

Well, it turns out she's burning up because the star...

is right behind her ear!

And the game's over seconds later.

- I'm so glad you could come. - It's nice. I know.

Hey, everybody,

this is my boyfriend, Senator Robert Lipton.

Senator, it's an honor. I'm Angela's friend Oscar.

A pleasure.

Robert seems great. He's very handsome,

firm handshake, he's gay, good sense of humor.

I'm AJ. I'm here to see Holly.

It's kind of a surprise.

I know who you are, and I think you should go.

I bet you didn't even bring us anything, did you?

Was I supposed to bring you guys something?

What?

- Surprise. - What are you doing here?

I wanted to see you.

- How are you? - Nice.

You look great.

When did you get here?

Just now.

- Good to see you again, AJ. - Pleased to see you.

- Good trip down? - It was great.

Good, good. Good to see you.

Have fun. Enjoy the partay.

I am dead inside.

What do you want? We got some granola,

got some cupcakes, chips, apples, pies...

You have a whole room of vending machines.

I know. Isn't it something?

I can't decide what I want.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you so much.

Merry christmas to you.

For your feet.

It's amazing.

It's so great.

For me?

Thank you very much.

I don't know if you have had a chance

to use the new parking meters that accept credit cards,

but Robert was instrumental in that legislation.

That's awesome!

A real David and Goliath story.

I'm just so touched that she's so interested in my work.

I am.

The real problem is the teachers' union.

Zip it, Meredith.

You tell me why my kid is 17 and still can't read.

Who's in charge of making drinks? Is there a bartender?

You are. You make your own drink.

I'll make it. What are you drinking?

An "F" train to Brooklyn.

I don't know how to make that.

I'll just stick with my mohito.

And you know those annoying geese at the park?

He's helping eradicate them as well.

I think they've really become a pest.

Annoying.

I don't think he's in the ceiling.

I don't think any of us really know.

All right.

Is it...

Is it pebbles from the beach in Jamaica?

Go easy with the shaking.

You like it?

I love it.

I do make great Christmas gifts.

But I couldn't make that.

All right, my turn.

It's just... I didn't...

I didn't have time, so that's just a place holder.

Right. Of course.

"The adventures of Jimmy Halpert."

This is awesome!

That's my bike.

That's my desk.

And that is my daughter.

I mean...

Michael, wait.

Don't run.

You're gonna slip.

That's good advice.

I read this story about

a woman who slipped on some black ice,

and she hit her head and went into a coma forever.

And then every day, her husband went

and visited her in the hospital until she died.

That's a sad story.

At least he was married.

Slow down. Everything's gonna be okay.

It's not.

Man, I can tell you confidently that it is not gonna be okay.

I shouldn't tell you this, but...

AJ won't commit to Holly.

And she's gonna tell him that if he doesn't propose to her

by the end of the year, it's over.

Really?

Really.

And I don't know about you, but I don't know of happy marriages

that start off with an ultimatum, do you?

So just be patient.

I mean, I can wait till then.

Come here.

I don't want you to fall.

I surrender.

I don't accept your surrender.

There's only one way that I would ever relent.

Anything. You got it.

You hit Pam in the face with a snowball while I watch.

You're a psychopath.

I'll take that as a no.

I was in the mall, and I saw that,

and I thought it had your name written.

Michael, this is the gift that corporate gave us

that I picked out. You're re-gifting this to me.

No, that's not...

No, I went to the mall and I picked that out for you.

Well, show me the receipt.

From the mall.

That...

This is a fast food receipt from April.

How many number nines did you order?

Is everyone here kind of mean?

I think everyone's on edge because of the strangler trial.

I'm so glad you came down.

It's been so much harder than I expected.

What happened to Woody?

Get ready for this. You're not gonna believe it.

I was making salad, and he fell right into the dressing.

I mean, there was salad dressing all over him.

He smells awful.

It was blue cheese dressing.

Great.

We wanted to give you something.

Merry Christmas.

A hostess apple pie!

This is my favorite breakfast. How did you know that?

Thank you very much.

- What do you say? - You're welcome.

You know, I seem to remember

that Santa promised that he would listen to the gifts you wanted for Christmas.

Didn't he say that?

I think I know where he is.

A trampoline...

Video games.

A horse.

Are you sure you don't want a pony?

You want a real horse.

All right.

You have to pick up after them.

Sorry. I'm ready.

I don't want to go.

Come on, bear man.

Come on.

Have you ever seen 'em do that?

I'm sorry.

I had no idea.

No, it's okay.

- This is it. - What?

- Go! - What? What is it?

In the end,

the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all.

It's fear.

Merry Christmas.