Original subtitles

Thanks, guys.

Today is a big day.

So, I'd just like to say... How do we get in? We can't see her.

She's just got her year nine exam results. Straight A.

Show me the certificate.

Where did you get those from?

Clock. Don't spoil it, okay?

Here you are.

She can't be quitting it. Thanks, Nan.

She's a bright kid.

Yeah, well, she follows her dad, doesn't she?

Anyway, produce shacks.

You've done good, kids. Yeah.

Come on.

I think we've covered all that, yeah?

Now, we all know what else the day is, though, don't we?

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

All right?

Yay! All right, Dave?

Shall we have a couple of them?

Why not, Dane? I've just come to tell you something.

Well? You're done.

See you, everyone.

Bye, Dane. Bye. It's an island.

Dawn!

Dawn!

Wait.

You can't do this.

I made my mind up, Peg.

There's nothing I can do.

Go on now, before you start me off.

Dawn!

You've got two minutes.

I've got a tip on the last Bernard entry.

I need you to place a bet for me.

Fifty quid.

If Peg finds out, she'll do her nut.

But this horse is a cert.

Grace off.

Band.

I own 60.

Don't drag me into this.

Sorry, Glenn.

I'll start again.

Now, you drag yourself down to the bookies and place a bet or I'll get my

and load your rump with lead.

Well, why didn't you just say?

I'm taking Cowboy Lil away for a few days for the winnings. And I want to

her like a lady.

All right, what's the horse's name?

Dirty Weekend.

I've never held a certificate before.

I am so pro -do.

He's amazing.

I know.

We should celebrate.

Absolutely. Nothing too expensive.

Oh, absolutely.

What about a picnic?

Love it.

Just the three of us.

Yeah, just the three of us. Wicked.

Yeah? Right, what shall we take?

Hey, does the day ring any bells for you at all? You know, the months.

The date.

The face.

No.

Unbelievable.

Such a shock.

I'm bored, Billy. We never do anything exciting. We had a night away only last

week. In the back of the van.

You've seen the constable's house. You don't surprise me anymore.

But we're great together.

We're just standing still, aren't we?

Oh, don't start all that.

I like a strong man, a man who takes control. You know that. But I... Oh,

let's not drag this all out. Come on.

Quick peck and I'm off.

See you, babe.

It's days like today that make you take a trip down old memory lane, isn't it?

What are you prattling about?

My childhood.

My summers.

The day I was born.

I don't know what's good into you today.

You're flapping about like a knackered kite.

I'm not in the mood.

So shift your jatsy from under my feet.

You've been crying?

No? Good.

Because there's only one person on the earth who's been crying.

That's me.

Game checker. That's who.

She was the one, Dad.

I'm sorry, boy.

I know she meant the world to you.

You listen to your dad. Come here.

You look at me.

You've set your bar very low.

You can do a lot better than that bit of old slap.

Oh, my God.

There you go.

Feeling better already, eh?

Don't need to help me.

You can't beat cheese and pickle sandwiches.

Well, I told you, we haven't got pickle, it's tomato.

Yeah, that's ridiculous.

That's like gammon without the egg.

That's like spaghetti bolognese without pasta.

It's like coleslaw without the chips.

Yeah, pub classics.

Well, that's it.

Hiya.

Yeah, good chance.

Yeah, sorry, love. No, I'm chocked up today.

Yeah, got a load of scrap to get rid of.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, I miss you too.

Yeah, I love you too.

Bye.

That was Lash.

Well, if it was Billy, I'd have been worried.

You're my best friend.

Sorry, your tab's full.

So, what day is today?

Saturday. And? Anything happening?

Window cleaner at three.

I knew it! Eh?

Well, it's a cover -up, isn't it? It's got to be if even my best friend doesn't

remember it's my birthday.

Your birthday?

Have one on me.

I can smell it in the air. It was too obvious.

So, what time's it starting?

What? Mr Price Bash.

Eh? Don't kid that kid, Melvin. Come on.

I can see you're in it with him.

Trust me.

The only thing booked in the hall for tonight is... Over

-60s hot yoga.

What the hell is hot about over -60s doing yoga?

Nothing. I put both rads on and towels under the door. It's minging up there.

Anyway, no -one's mentioned your birthday.

Sorry.

They all forgot me.

You in court today?

No. A man can look smart, can't he?

Dawn didn't pull any punches, did she?

I like that in a girl.

You know where you went wrong?

You had one girl.

Sorry? With three or four, you should have a look over your head.

When one of us falls, you just climb back on another.

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

When I was your age, a girl called Nancy broke my heart.

I loved her and didn't tell her.

You know what I did?

You told her how you felt?

I started riding her sister.

Life's one big, long race, but you've just finished the first furlong. You've

stumbled. That's all.

Look at me.

Just off for the weekend with a lady.

See? Still in the saddle.

Still jumping the sticks.

Huh?

Yes.

Hey. Now you know what you gotta do.

Call her?

No. Call her sister.

50 and forgotten.

Can you believe it?

No.

You look a lot older.

That's because I'm tired.

Running the business is taking its toll. So is carrying all that timber around.

Share a few stone you ought to.

Look at me.

Same weight as when I was 12.

That's why I look much better than you.

Have you got anything else to say?

Yeah, you went bald, Uli, too, so that can't help your confidence.

Just stop speaking now.

Please, Madeline.

Say nothing.

I'm a man ignored.

I'm invisible.

Sorry, what was that?

All right, that's it.

It's time to make a stand.

To be seen.

To be heard.

Like that crowd who protest on the rules. What are they called?

Prisoners.

Right. There's only one thing for it.

You going up on the roof?

Yeah, and don't try and stop me. Do you mind paying your tab before you go? Just

in case, like.

Now is not the time to talk about money, Melden.

It's done. You know what to do, so get started.

It's me.

Call me back.

It's done. You know what to do, so get started.

Hiya, me again.

Call me back please.

Billy! Billy! Me again. Call me back, please.

Please don't. Please.

Please, please, please, please.

The last thing she said to

me was she likes a man to be strong.

Well, I've got a 20k kettlebell under the bed if you fancy swinging a few.

I don't think she means that feel to strong, Bob.

It's OK to be sad, love.

Have you spoken to her?

Well, you left her a few messages.

How many?

Twenty.

Jesus, that's really strong, that is. That's absolutely normal for someone

broken -hearted.

And stalkers.

Just tell her how you feel.

I'll be able to. That's the last thing you should do. You look pathetic.

Ignore him. You should always be honest with each other.

Well, but she said I don't surprise her anymore.

What does she want you to do? Hide her on the corner and shout boo?

I think she wants more from me. I think she wants less. Bobby.

Me again?

Billy, call me back.

Murphy!

Murphy!

You put that bed on for me?

Yeah, of course.

Good. I need the windage.

Yeah, and I need your help.

Help? Yeah, the thing is, I'm stuck in this window.

Stuck?

In the window.

Ah, right.

Right, hang on.

Oh, thanks, Riff.

Thank God.

What are you doing?

Enjoying the show.

You malicious old get!

Careful now, Clayne.

What's that little rump behind you there?

It's begging for a boot.

All right, Merv? Yeah, good, good.

I could come with you if you want a bit of company.

Best you have a bit of time, Merv. Boys, I need your help.

I'm stuck in this window.

Stuck?

In the window. How do you manage that?

We're all keen to know.

Yeah, well, I was trying to fix the gutter. I think you should just come

and pull me a bit.

I've got a crowbar, Glenn, if you want.

No, you're all right.

Well, I can wedge it in by your gut. No, I'm fine.

I'm on to the picnic.

It takes some grease up with you, boy. Shut up!

Oh, for God's sake.

Come on.

Easy.

Easy in there.

It's no good. He's like a coke in a bottle.

We need to push him from the outside.

What's going on in there?

I'll push.

You pull.

Won't be a sec, Doc.

What's going on?

Right, I'm going to grab your head.

Are you sure about this?

Ready, Bobby?

Hang on, my phone.

It's in my pocket. Take it out. I don't want it falling all over the shop.

Here.

Ready, Bobby?

Ready? How much longer?

Stop it.

Right, on three.

On three, Bob.

One, two, three.

Oh,

thank

God.

Thank God for that.

I thought I was going to die in a window.

Dad, your phone.

Oh, right. Just pass it up.

Phone.

Don't. Phone, Billy.

No, you've got to hear me out. Billy!

Just take it.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not you. No.

Please, please don't hang up.

I don't believe this.

Bobby! Are you still there?

You okay?

No. I'm bloody not.

I'm stuck again.

Can you stop messing about with that having in you?

Sorry, Dad.

Well, where are you off?

Picnic. Celebration for shacks.

But what about me?

Billy? I've got to make a call.

I am your father, and I mean nothing to you.

You two are the worst sons a man could have.

Useless, you are.

The pair of you.

Useless.

Come on, Bobs.

Beg him won't get her back, boy. You can trust me on that.

I know.

But it's obvious what I've got to do now.

Is it?

Yeah.

We've done until.

They pride me.

Won't you get it?

No.

She wants a strong man?

I'll give her a strong man.

Oi! Enough messing about, right? Meet me in the usual in half an hour.

Do not be late.

Billy.

Billy.

Mum.

Mum.

What are you doing up there?

Stuck in the window.

Stuck?

In the window.

Well, how did you do that?

I was trying to give him a clean.

I thought you were fixing the gutter in.

Why don't you just shut it?

Hey, you don't half get yourself in some scrapes, do you?

That's it, yeah.

Have a good laugh.

Life is never dull with you, is it, boy?

You've no idea about my life.

I had dreams, you know.

I was meant to be someone. You are?

You're someone stuck in the window?

Don't laugh at him.

You're the worst mother ever.

I wish I'd never been born.

Shame on you, boy.

Shame on you.

Four. Good catch.

Five. Good throw.

Dad! Sorry.

It's not easy.

You're a big kid.

Ta.

I've been thinking.

Oh, don't spoil it now, Bob.

Funny. You're a very funny girl.

About what you said to Billy earlier, you know, about being honest.

It's just that I think maybe... Yeah, Aya.

Right.

Yeah, that was Peg.

She wants us all in now.

Shakira!

Melvin, it's me.

Where are you?

I'm stuck in the window.

Stuck? In the window!

OK, stay where you are.

You're taking the piss?

I'm on my way.

What is it? I've got a lot on. Sit down.

You're all right.

I said sit.

Please.

I know you. really want. Do you?

Yeah.

Dawn.

Tyson Thomas.

Will you marry me?

Are you picking the piss?

What?

You don't even have a stone for me.

I'll get you a stone.

I promise I'll get you the best stone there is. I'm going to work hard. I'm

going to leave my nan. It's not the stone, Billy. It's you.

I'm not a long -term girl.

You're a long -term boy. I never meant marriage, babe.

I'm a flitter.

I flit from flower to flower.

And I'm a flower?

No.

You're a lovely man.

You're a good man.

But you're not meant to be.

But if you ever fancy a quickie...

You know where the squat is.

You there yet?

No. You might feel something slippery.

What the hell are you thinking, Melvin?

Baby oil.

And you're ever in, I'll loosen you up.

And coming in, stop right where you are.

Hello?

Fire brigade, please.

I'll buy you a pint, see you at... Well, so I can drink.

My ribs are too sore.

They did drag you about a bit, I'll give you that.

Drag me about a bit?

They were for the Melvin.

I've not been manhandled like that in my life.

But I think Peggy's going to be happy.

They mangled her window with that cutting machine.

Never talk of this day again, Melvin.

Never.

And not only did they abandon me, they just left me there to die.

Die where?

In the window!

Well, forget that now.

I tell you what, my family are the worst. Forget it now.

They're nothing but a selfish bunch of crooks. Every single one of them.

Happy birthday.

Surprise. Congratulations.

You remembered.

So how long has all this been going for? A couple of months.

Not a bad lot, is it?

Yeah?

Anyway, my family, they love me.

Cheers, everyone!

I see they're enjoying it.

And they're off!

Now!

Come on!

Come on!

It's been a crocking day.

Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to show you that we can still be a family, even though

things change.

Change? You know, move on.

The divorce papers.

You're a single man again, Bobs.

in my back paw.

You did put that 50 on for me, didn't you, Clint?

Yes.

You did good, boy.

Happy birthday.

What about you, Glenn?

one.