Original subtitles

Okay, well, thank you very much for coming. We're doing a second series of

Misadventures of Romesh Ranganathan, and we're looking for some constructive

feedback.

So, I guess the first question I'd ask is, what did you guys think of the show?

I thought you were really good in it. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Because I'll tell you who didn't.

This guy.

This is the cult of stupidity. Romesh and his potty -mouthed, sarcastic

voiceover appeal to the sort of people who think imagination, spirituality and

history are things to be sneered at.

At JohnMcCray189.

Arrogant, patronising, uninformed. So different from my own experience, my own

experience of this fascinating country.

Can't even spell my name right. Unfunny prick.

Terribly unfunny.

This dog reminds me of Romesh Ranganathan.

It's not just about this feedback, it's about getting your take. So, does

anybody else have any other thoughts?

Can I just say, I thought you were really great in Travelman.

Do you mean Travelman with Richard Ayoade?

We're done.

Against my better judgment, this time I'm going to be visiting Mongolia,

Bosnia, Colombia and Zimbabwe.

Oh, my God. He is packing.

I want to know if our preconceptions of these countries are justified.

Bosnia is the land of miracles.

Is there more to Zimbabwe than Robert Mugabe?

Is there more to Bosnia than the war?

Is Colombia all about drug cartels?

Now this is beautiful.

I don't really think this is necessary, do you?

Where are

you

travelling to?

I'm going to Mongolia.

Excellent. So, Ron, what do you know about Mongolia?

What I know about Mongolia is very little.

It is seen as the most remote place in the world. You know, people go...

I'm heading to the middle of the answer, Mongolia. You know, it's a punchline.

That's one thing I know about it. The other thing I know about it is Genghis

Khan. So those are literally the only two things I can tell you about

You're just going to feel a little prick, OK?

So it actually says here that 8 % of all Mongolians are descended from Genghis

Khan, which actually makes sense if you think about it.

There are loads of Khans, aren't there? Imran Khan,

Sadiq Khan.

Shere Khan.

James Khan.

Shaka Khan.

I flew

into the Mongolian city of Ulaanbaatar, the capital of the most sparsely

populated country on Earth.

Only 3 million people live in Mongolia, in a place roughly six times the size of

the UK.

I've been told to meet my local guide Idra at a comedy club. So I grabbed the

first taxi I saw and headed into town.

You've

got

a lot of these sort of industrial buildings with the smoke coming out the

right? Oh yeah.

I don't know what was happening, but most of our power station in the city.

Yeah? Yeah.

So do you have pollution issues?

Oh, a lot.

It's one of the worst cities in the world.

Really? Yeah. One of the worst in the world?

Yeah. Now you can see the city covered kind of by smoke.

Isn't it really annoying being a taxi driver with all this traffic?

I'm not really a taxi driver.

I'm a lawyer.

But we do also on our free time kind of taxi.

So you're not a taxi?

Oh, no, no.

I'm not a taxi.

So you just saw me and picked me up?

Yeah.

Does everybody do that?

Yeah. So if I was just driving along and I saw somebody, I'd just pick them up?

Of course, yeah.

Everybody's trying to make some money. Right, right, right.

The not -really -a -taxi -driver dropped me off at the comedy club.

where I tracked down Idra, a TV presenter, comedy compare, and local

entrepreneur. I've seen a lot of Mongolians.

Hi, Ron.

How's it going?

You found it? Yes. How are you doing?

Welcome to Mongolia. Nice to meet you. How do I pronounce your name?

It's Idra.

Idra. Yes, you can call me Idra. I, Idra, anything.

Idra.

So would you say you're like a Mongolian enthusiast? Are you proud and a fanatic

about the country?

Would you say? You are? What about Mongolia do you like so much?

It's a very memorable place.

Memorable. Right. You could go to, I don't know, fancy resorts and have good

times, but I don't think you would remember that on your deathbed. Yeah,

wants to do that? Yeah, but you're going to create a lot of moments that you

would absolutely remember when you were 100 years old. Okay. Before we go on a

trip, I should share a little life.

Philosopher with you your life is not the length of time you were awake,

It's the collection of time you vividly remember in the end of your life Yeah,

I'm not it could be bad. But in the end when we look back it will be memorable

Okay, that's my point. You are offering vivid Long -lasting memories what you're

not offering is any guarantee whether those will be good or bad exactly, but

they will be remembered will be remembered and it will be Worth

So you're saying I'm going to remember? Yeah, I think so. Believe me.

Cheers, man. Cheers.

The next morning, Idra outlined his plan for the

week. Travelling across his vast nation, we'll be seeing everything from the

Gobi Desert in the south to the eagle hunters of the west.

Taking in monasteries, nomads and epic train journeys along the way.

We will start with a crash course in the legacy of the Mongolian Empire, now

seen in the country's three manly sports, archery, horse riding and

I mean, I don't really go in for horse riding, and for a man with one lazy eye,

archery is frankly reckless.

So it was decided that we'd spend the morning wrestling.

Every Mongolian kid tackle each other. They grow up with a good notion of

wrestling techniques.

It's like soccer for European kids.

And I want you to have a little taste of it and learn some defense techniques.

Why has he got a whip?

He's going to whip on your butt.

He's going to whip on your butt? To burn more energy. If you're too slow, he's

going to punish you. Well, it's not punishment. It's a little encouragement,

a manly style.

OK, so just to be clear, you've brought me to a room filled with men in

underpants, and one of those men is going to whip the other men?

Yeah.

What did he just say? Don't let the police find out about our underground

club.

I asked if they had any spare kit, but it became clear that borrowing someone

else's pants is considered disgusting.

Fortunately, Idra had bought me some new ones, and by fortunately, I obviously

mean unfortunately.

First thing, this is... I don't need to wear this. Nobody needs to wear this.

No, that was a mistake.

Okay. And also the other mistake was to buy industrial Wolverine boots for this.

These are the biggest boots. Should be fine. Should be fine, bro.

Should be fine. You're a big man.

Looks good.

Man needs big stuff.

Okay. You're ready. Let's go then. Yeah, do it.

You look good.

Thank you. Wait, all right.

Wait.

It's the first time I'd say in my life that I've worn the same thing that

everybody else is wearing, but still felt horrendously embarrassed.

Because the outfit is not forgiving.

It's one step below just writing fat bastard across my torso.

Hey, they welcome you.

I'm scared too.

What are you scared about?

A little bit scared.

Get a good grip. Get a good grip.

Exert a little bit.

You need to tell me what is about to happen.

What is about to happen?

You went into it, and the guard would go... Okay, do it, Ron. Do it. Do what?

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. Go for it. Go for what?

Defend your position.

I don't know. Just do something.

What am I supposed to do?

Ron, I don't know. Just do something.

What am I supposed to do? Is the aim of it to tweak his nipples?

Is the aim of it to pinch his... I don't know what this sport is.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

I'm serious, bro.

Go, go, go.

What is that?

That's a warning.

Do a good job or in the training, you'll be smashed.

It was at that point that the session very much got away from me as well as

from this production because nobody was in control of what happened next.

Are you

okay?

But they were nice. They were very friendly. They weren't...

They were as welcoming as you could be when you're just pummeling the shit out

of someone that you've just met.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, mate. Thank you, mate. Thank you.

I requested

the

rest of the day off to visit a physio, but Idra was keen to press on.

bundling us into the back of a Russian camper van and driving us out of the

city.

It bore all the hallmarks of a Soviet -era abduction, but Idra explained that

were going to see a statue of the country's legendary leader, Genghis

In Britain, if I was in a vehicle and I could smell fuel to this level inside,

that would be considered alarming.

Is that the same...

In Mongolia? Are you worried about how much petrol you can... I mean, it is

strong, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, I kind of grew up commuting in this type of van. Right.

Since childhood.

So I feel secure.

I mean, I would not justify it from a technical point of view. No. But based

my experience, you should not worry today. Okay.

I'm nervous even to fart.

I don't want to add anything more.

To the mix in here, do you know what I mean?

Hey, Chinggis Khan statues right there. Is that it?

Yeah. That is enormous, isn't it?

Born in 1162, Genghis Khan, or Chinggis Khan to the Mongolians, was the founder

of the second largest empire the world has ever known.

Rising from near total obscurity, he brutally conquered an area stretching

Eastern Europe to Japan, killing an estimated 40 million people in the

or 10 % of the world's entire population.

weird, isn't it? His position so that he ejaculates up onto his neck.

It's a good feeling.

He's revered in modern Mongolia. The statue is symbolic of an effort to

Mongolian heritage after the years of oppression the country experienced under

Soviet rule.

My perception of Chinggis Khan is grand scale slaughter of people.

and took over a large part of the world, right? Yeah, I understand. Sort of

aggressive takeover. I don't mean that in a business sense. I mean that in a

killing everybody in sight sense.

So what is your take on that?

He was one of the most influential figure who shaped the modern

world. For example, he was the first guy who put law...

above anything else and also he tolerated all religion and all

marriages i think he is not just the founding father of mongolia but he is

also one of the founding fathers of the world today right yeah he was said

to have killed around 40 million people how does that sit with mongolians in

regards to sort of balancing up against what they consider to be his positive

attributes

It's a historical fact, so I don't really mean to justify all the deaths.

It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago.

But I admire his legacy that is still living today.

There could be maybe up to 30 million descendants of him in the world right

Could be.

It's quite an admirable start, isn't it? He's killed 40 million people, but he's

trying to single -handedly replace them.

Not content with erecting a giant 130 -foot statue of Chinggis Khan, there are

plans to make the site even more impressive, with a massive army of 10

personalised mounted soldiers around the base.

You are able to pay to be part of Chinggis Khan's army. You get a life

statue of you on horseback being one of Chinggis Khan's soldiers.

And so then I inquired about the price, and that's when I was told it would

be... $15 ,000.

So I declined.

What did you get instead?

Well, for the statue lover that's on a limited budget, they actually do a

smaller version for 200 quid. So I decided to get one.

Are you happy with it?

Um... Am I happy with it?

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's a statue.

It is the ideal purchase if one of your lifelong dreams was to have a horseback

statue of Dave Lee Travis.

The weird thing about it is they've done the... They've actually done the horse

bits.

Up to here.

You can check it out, yeah.

It's so weird.

You idiot.

Why would they do the horse bits?

Are you mad?

That's 250 quid for that.

The next day.

I fought my way through an hour of traffic to meet Idra in the centre of

city. I'd expected Mongolia to be about huge open spaces, horses and goats,

clean air and zen living, but its capital couldn't have felt more

In a country of just 3 million people, nearly half live in the city, all

into a small dock in the middle of a vast, otherwise empty country.

So I'm going to level with you. This is much more urban and built up than I

anticipated it being.

This city was originally built for only 300 ,000 people during the Soviet time.

Right. But the population has grown into 1 .3 million.

Okay. That's way above. That's a million more people than it was designed for.

Right. And the infrastructure is not catching up fast enough.

And that's causing a lot of environmental pollution.

It's a disaster level pollution.

Half the people live in a, we call it, GER district.

GER is a nomadic, it's a nomadic house.

Okay. And because of that, they are burning coal.

In the winter, when it gets colder than this, maybe after a month, we will have

massive smog in the air.

Right. In several months of the cold winter, this city turns into the most

polluted city in the world. It's unbearable, I think.

Unbearable? Unbearable for a lot of families.

So what will this city look like when it's really cold, then? Would we be able

to see across this square?

Not really, not really.

The explosion in Ulaanbaatar's population began in the decades

overthrow of Soviet rule in 1990.

Under the communist state, Mongolian language and culture were outlawed and

religions were suppressed.

Now the country is experiencing a return to traditional beliefs, with religions

such as shamanism undergoing a revival.

So what exactly is shamanism? Shamanism is an ancient religion that was

practiced by Mongolians for thousands of years.

Right. And Buddhism is a latecomer that was adopted after Chinggis Khan's

conquest of Eurasia.

And shamanism is reviving and mostly people who have deep problem in their

go to shamans for solution and mitigation for their family issues.

Idra offered to introduce me to a traditional shaman, a respected

figure. who could connect to powerful ancestors from Mongolia's ancient past.

We tracked her down on the far side of the city, working in a day job at a

beauty salon.

I'll translate for you. You can ask any question you want. Any question?

Any question. Okay, great. Can I ask how it is she has become a beautician and a

shaman slash shaman?

So how does it work then?

And does she have any control over when it happens?

The normal term is twice a week it happens.

The spirit will do twice a week? Probably non -working hours.

Right.

On Wednesday after work hours, spirit usually comes in.

Okay. And we can go there together.

So we can go there now?

Yeah, probably we should just... We'll wait for her to finish this later, yeah.

Okay.

Will I find this experience as a Westerner frightening?

Not in a way that it's haunting, but in a way that it's just new and

unworldly. But man can be brave only when he's scared.

Okay, I swear sometimes you make this shit up.

Oh, look at this guy now. Come on. What is this driving in this country, man?

Such was the state of the traffic, the three -mile journey to the GER district

took us over two hours.

I mean, listen to it, man. It's crazy.

Are you serious right now?

I mean, everybody's on the line. This guy's not. It's straight across the... I

think it's switching.

At one point, we came close to abandoning the idea.

But Ayuna told us she only has access to the ceremonial gear on Mondays and

Wednesdays.

The other shaman welcomed their spirits on Thursdays and Fridays, and so...

If we really wanted to meet this spirit, this was our only realistic window.

We ploughed on.

So this is the yurt district that we were talking about earlier. You see

fences around here?

You smell the coal?

Oh wow, that is strong, isn't it?

Okay, here we are. Great. Here we are.

They had to put an ayuna into the clothes that she wears to receive the

And then I knelt in front of her, him.

Don't face your back.

And he then talked to us about our problems.

Now, there's two ways of interpreting that. One way is

to say it's incredibly insightful because I do have a problem with my eye.

The other side of the argument is I'm wearing glasses and both my eyes don't

look in the same direction, so...

That could be an indication that there is a vision issue.

He then said, is there a predator in the family?

And my first thought was Lisa's mum.

But then it became clear...

But then it became clear he was talking about an animal.

It can be a dog. Predator, no.

It could be anything, like... No.

Idris said, it could be anything, it could be anything.

So then I just said, yes, it's a dog.

Yes, yeah.

Because I didn't want to be disrespectful.

And then I thought we'd move on.

But it turns out the dog was to prove to be quite focal to the whole ceremony.

So I thought, what's the easiest way to draw a dog on its legs?

So I just drew it sat down.

But the head was so disproportionately large to the body.

First of all, I had to screw up the piece of paper.

And then burn it completely.

So look at the flames well, and then this will replenish your physical fire

in you.

And also this will disconnect your guilt.

He then took the ash, put it in a little thing of vodka.

I then had to walk out with the vodka out of this gate and then 21 steps

towards my home, which is in west.

So I had to walk 21 steps west.

and then tip the vodka out the outside of my palm and then come back.

There we go.

Before coming out of the trance, he said that he thinks that my major issues are

sorted out, but that I had many, many small issues with my body that couldn't

really be resolved in one session.

Would you go back to get your other issues resolved?

Yes.

Yes, I would.

If he happened to be in Crawley.

After three days in the city, it was time to move on and explore the rest of

country. I'd enjoyed bits of my time in the capital, but I still felt that I'd

not really experienced the best of Mongolia.

When we first arrived in Ulaanbaatar, I think you had this sort of textbook

reaction, which was, oh my God, it's like much more built up than I thought

was going to be.

And so you've got that initial reaction, but to be honest...

That has slightly been to its detriment in terms of the fact that we have spent

time in a city that is not geared up to deal with the number of people that are

there.

It's hugely polluted. So much so that the more affluent residents move

during the winter because it's too much for them. The traffic is insane.

It is...

rage encouragingly insane.

Every day in Ulaanbaatar is like your worst day in the UK, traffic -wise. It's

mad. They've had to introduce traffic calming measures, where if you've got a

certain number of plates, you can only drive in the city on certain days. And

that is happening in the most sparsely populated country in the world.

I mean, the pollution is at such a level that apparently they're having to build

a second airport because during the winter, when the smog is at its highest

levels, at the current airport, planes can't see to land.

If Mongolia was just Ulaanbaatar, I'd be arriving at a very swift conclusion

that it's not really for me.

But I'm looking forward to seeing a bit more of the countryside and seeing if

maybe that's going to sort of alter my first impression on it.

That night, we headed to the train station to catch an overnight train down

the Gobi Desert, in the far south of the country.

The Trans -Mongolian Railway is part of a legendary route that stretches

from Moscow all the way to Beijing, a journey which takes six nights and

five time zones.

We'd be travelling just one stop south, but even that would take nine hours, and

so Idra decided to pass the time by teaching me some key Mongolian phrases.

Can you say... What does

that mean?

It means I love my horse.

It's a line to make instant bond with any Mongolian man.

Is that right?

Yeah, whatever trouble happens, just say that.

How do you say in Mongolian, it's too early in this friendship to be sharing a

cabin on a train?

Well... I can express that in terms of horse.

Why is everything horse with you?

Because it makes more sense.

Like, you wouldn't say we're best friends.

You would say our horses are best friends.

Are you being serious right now? Yeah, I'm serious. That's how you express it?

Right. I love your horse. That means I love you, man.

Same thing.

Is that true?

That's true.

You wouldn't say, oh, we're getting along well. You would say, oh, our

are rubbing.

to each other okay are you winding me up now no it's uh it's true okay how do

you say my horse can't believe i've got to spend nine hours with your horse

It is the desert.

Where are the sand dunes?

Covering most of southern Mongolia and northern China, the Gobi is an area five

times the size of the UK.

Although despite the misleading title, only 5 % of it is actually desert in the

sandy Lawrence of Arabia sense.

We were here to visit a unique Mongolian Buddhist site that lies in the heart of

this vast expanse of nothing.

We're going to the energy center of the earth.

What's the energy center? What does that mean?

Mongolians believe that there's a spot.

Right. Where all the energy is concentrated.

Okay. And how are we getting there?

We've got camels.

If I get on a camel, I'm just going to get loads of shit on Twitter from

militant vegans.

He's going, I didn't realize misadventures meant misadventures of

All that shit.

Hashtag horrendous animal abuse.

Hashtag camels are people too.

Are you saying that Twitter guides your life?

No. Don't be ridiculous.

Instagram as well.

So you see, we are able to enjoy the camels, and two of those camels would

had people on them, and they don't now, as a direct result of what we've done.

How does that feel?

It feels good. I kind of get your point now. Yeah? Yeah, these are happy.

I mean, admittedly, it's, I would say, about 5 % as comfortable as I thought it

was going to be.

Yeah.

Where's the actual energy centre?

It's around here. This is it, yeah?

The energy centre and nearby monastery were established around 1820 by Dantan

Ravja, Mongolia's most revered spiritual leader.

who believed the site to be the location of a gateway to the mythical land of

Shambhala.

In Mongolian culture, it's considered to be the sacred place where all the

energy of the world converges.

This is where you

tie this blue cloth.

It's called khatak.

Khatak. Khatak, yes.

This symbolizes holy and clean spirit in you.

Tie a beautiful knot.

There you go.

Let me just do one more.

How's that?

Looks perfect.

Pre the Soviets, this was like a big religious hub.

Then the Soviets came and shut it all down. And now it's come back to be sort

a place where people come to visit.

Regardless of what your beliefs are or not, there is something.

I'm trying to look for another word apart from energy, but there is an

these places.

Even if you don't believe it at all, there is something nice about coming to

places like this, and there's sort of like a vibe here.

It's good.

I also noticed that over there, lots of people just sort of lying down. Oh,

that's the main point.

That's the main point? That's the main point. This is the pinnacle of our trip

here. That over there? That over there. What is that? That's the exact spot of

energy center of the Earth.

We lay there connect with Mother Earth and get that energy.

I like the absolute tranquility.

Some people are known to transfer the energy through mobile signal to their

families. Should I try?

Yeah. I'm going to try and call my wife.

Hello?

It's me.

Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm in this... No.

No, the reason I'm calling is I'm in an energy circle.

Huh?

An energy circle thing.

Sorry, I just wanted to test it.

All right, I'll speak to you in a bit.

Okay.

All right.

Did she feel it?

What she felt was...

That it was too early for me to call her.

In truth, the rejuvenating benefits of the energy centre had failed to offset

the exhausting nine -hour train journey required to reach it.

But Idris seemed content that we were ready to move on.

He was taking me to meet a traditional nomadic family.

But along the way, we stopped to look at another Mongolian statue.

What do you think?

What exactly is this statue doing here?

It's a bit of a mystery.

Nobody really knows who's doing this and why these statues are appearing

in different spots in Mongolia. I can tell you the why. The why is because

amazing.

It's not shoddily done, is it? It's a very well... Crafted? Correct, yeah. A

very well -crafted stone cock.

It is.

Is this part of the whole Mongolian manliness thing? Do you know what I

Wrestling, archery, horse riding, huge cock statue.

I have no idea, but a number of people come to these statues to ask for

fertility.

You would have to touch it?

Yeah.

How much do you think it weighs?

Three tons?

Yeah.

What do you feel? What do you feel?

Stone!

What do you think about the flame?

Well, everyone's got them, haven't they?

Nothing unusual in that.

The old hot rod.

The thing that I find mind -blowing about this statue is that nobody knows

it's here. You can't find any information about it.

That, to me, is typical of the difference between Mongolian attitudes

British attitudes, because if you were in a nature reserve or a national park

Britain, nobody would go, oh, have you seen that massive stone cock in the Lake

District? Yeah, what's that all about? Don't know.

Just think it appeared there one day. They're just cool with it. That would

never happen.

What's another good thing to do with a statue that looks like a cock?

Get enough of a distance away so that you can do funny pictures.

Cox's side, it was clear that there's an awful lot of nothing in the Mongolian

countryside.

50 % of the population still live nomadically out here.

Some 1 .5 million people spread more thinly than anywhere else on the planet.

I was keen to learn how you meet someone.

when the nearest available woman might live over 50 miles away.

But Idri explained that monthly dance nights are held and agreed to take me to

see one.

So we're going to check out this dance party? Yeah, we're going to check out a

dance party in a small town.

It's nothing like clapping in the city.

OK. But we need to be a double -winged man for my friend tonight.

So we're going to try and find him a partner?

Yeah, it's all about him tonight.

OK.

This is it, yeah? Yeah.

Satellite dish, nice.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

So, this is a very nice place. How long have your family had a gear in this spot

here?

How long do you think you'll be living with your parents for?

Yeah, legend.

How do you go about meeting a girl?

It's Facebook.

It's Facebook, is it?

Wow. And is there anyone that you've got your eye on particularly tonight?

Does she know that you like her?

Maybe, OK.

She thinks you're annoying.

Is that what he said?

Ichmir had proved himself to be a perceptive young man, but he apparently

wanted Idra and I to go along with him to the big dance night.

We went in and I was expecting just kind of a straight kind of party, like a

club almost.

But it wasn't quite. It wasn't a club. What is going on in there? And what are

those dancers that they're doing?

During the communist times of Mongolia, the government would require every

citizen know five to seven dances.

And this is where people meet each other. Right.

Well, we saw Ishma, he's in there.

You spoke to him, confirmed that his potential partner is in there.

He seems to have almost no competitor.

No, there's no competitor.

I think just looking at him and looking at the competition... Right.

He's obviously winning. He's clearly the thoroughbred in there. Absolutely,

100%, right? Yeah.

The night had a sweet innocence about it, like a school disco.

Only at this school disco, if you struck out with a girl...

The next available one might live several hundred miles away.

But Ichmir had a plan, a tactic that is familiar to teenagers the world over.

We were to laugh out loud at his jokes and generally give the impression that

were having the best night of our lives.

She just thought, oh my God, who are those cool guys? That guy in the middle

just making them laugh so much. So we started doing that and then we started

doing a little bit of bopping in the sea.

Yeah!

Just really... Then we started going for it. Oh, a bit of a wave.

A bit of a wave. And then, when the moment was right, we stood up and then

started going for it.

And then Idra basically terrorised everybody that wasn't in the couple.

And it worked.

Unbelievably, it worked.

That was amazing.

It's so good, it almost makes me think I want to leave my wife and then get him

to set me up with...

Someone better. Do you know what I mean? Because I did settle.

The following day, we got up early and continued our journey back to

Ulaanbaatar, where we boarded a four -hour flight to Ulgi, in the far west of

the country.

Idja was promising a change of pace, saying that we'd be spending the next

days experiencing the true remoteness of traditional Mongolian life.

Staying in a gear in the Altai Mountains and meeting some eagle hunters.

We are now what looks like in the middle of nowhere, but this is not enough.

This is not nowhere enough for you. No, it's not. So we're going deeper into the

nowhere. Yeah.

I think you will find your own beauty in absolute isolation.

As the overwhelming smell of petrol filled the car, we traveled further and

further into the darkness.

And it became clear that something was seriously amiss.

So our destination was supposedly 20 kilometers away. Now we have driven

over 70 kilometers.

And this valley is not ending at all.

I think we're right in the middle. And there are different branches of mountain

range.

surrounding us, and it's impossible to locate the right direction.

Okay, so we're lost.

We're not lost unless the driver gives up. So the driver is upbeat, and the

driver is checking out the valleys to find the gear. How many valleys are

Hundreds.

He's starting to panic.

He's starting to panic.

Because the driver has started to sound negative.

He's starting to crumble.

What? Oh, what should we use to navigate?

Oh, that's right.

It's like the end of the world out there.

At this moment, As a captain of the car, I would like to officially announce

that we are in a stage called We're Lost.

Right, OK. Well, that's great.

The situation appeared hopeless. There were no buildings, no landmarks. We had

no phone reception, no GPS.

And the only sign of life was a small goat which forced our vehicle to a

halt.

This is nowhere.

This is proper remote, isn't it?

I've been slightly undermined by that vehicle going past, but still, you get

idea.

How cold is it?

It's the wind.

It's the wind chill factor of, fuck me.

She'll be fine.

Miraculously, the owner of the goat eventually realised his animal had

off the truck, returned to collect it, and pointed the way through the

There are roads, we're not in, like, complete wilderness.

Oh, look!

We found it? Look, turn around.

Holy!

Holy crap!

Hey!

Hey! We found it!

I think that hug is like a little too... So, yeah, it's not... You got worried,

right?

Yeah, as a captain of this vehicle, I was worried.

I'm going to have to confess that I cannot sugarcoat it with being Mongolian

this time.

And I sincerely apologize for the... That was bad, wasn't it? For the, yeah,

incidence of being lost. Okay, don't worry about it. It's all good. Don't

Yeah. Fine, mate. We're here now. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but we're men, right? Yeah,

sure. Let's go.

Let's go check it out.

No, not again. Come on.

Oh,

God.

Thank you

very much for having us. We're very grateful.

Okay, great.

Salo and his family are eagle hunters, whose ancestors migrated here from

neighbouring Kazakhstan.

Their life is part of a nomadic tradition that, camera crews aside, has

unchanged for thousands of years.

So what is it you enjoy about this lifestyle?

. . . . .

Hello, mate. Hey, mate.

How was your night?

It was wonderful.

Well, this is very nice. We do feel like we're in the middle of nowhere, but

where exactly are we?

Straight up Kazakhstan.

Kazakhstan. And Russia just about there. Yeah.

Just about there.

That's China.

On the way.

Cool. Yeah.

Hey!

You look great.

Are you excited buzzing to go hunting?

So how did we get there?

The problem is, if I don't ride the camel, then ride the horse, then

going to go nuts, you know? Yeah. I just can't.

I mean, it's my fault. I apologise.

I've painted myself into a vegan corner.

It's fucking freezing. Should we just get in?

I mean, this is pointless, isn't it?

Yeah.

We're going to get in.

Eagle hunting has taken place in this region for thousands of years.

a way to get the fox and rabbit furs needed to survive in this harsh

environment.

In recent years, the area has hosted an annual festival to celebrate this

ancient practice, drawing in hundreds of eagle hunters from Mongolia and nearby

Kazakhstan.

That's it.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't expect it to be that big.

It's like a dragon.

Oh, God.

Yes. Yeah,

it's enormous.

I am deeply uncomfortable.

What's with the hood?

Any moving object?

Saulo wanted to demonstrate the awesome capabilities of his eagle.

But having made such a big deal about not riding camels or horses, I don't

really feel like I could be responsible for killing a fox.

Obviously I don't want to hunt a fox, but I still want to take part in

proceedings and show respect to our host. So I have found a way that we can

fox hunting, but it's on my terms.

Okay, we're ready!

Where's the eagle?

It's escaped.

So,

what's plan B? We could try smearing in meat and let it run again.

I would say it slightly undermines the object of the exercise, but yeah, I'm

willing to do it. If it will make it, do it.

Okay, let's go.

Go,

go, go, go. Go, go, go, go. It's not moving.

It's like... Oh,

my

God.

That was incredible.

Incredible.

Smashed it.

Eagle smashed it, we smashed it. Success?

Success. No fox had to die.

The car experiment worked.

Now all I've got to do is dry clean this and give it to my youngest son.

My preconceptions about Mongolia were all based on the fact that Mongolia is a

stereotype for being in the middle of nowhere.

You could spend your time in Ulaanbaatar, and if you didn't know

the rest of the country, you'd think the place is the most overpopulated country

on earth. I mean, it's just people on top of you. It's insane. The traffic is

unbearable. And then you travel outside of the city, and you don't see anyone.

We're constantly in Britain and in the West talking about how we want to get

mindfulness and we want to cut off and we want to be able to distance ourselves

from the busyness of life.

Well, that is what Mongolia gives you. It definitely has niche appeal, I would

say. And so, you know, if I'm speaking for me personally, I wouldn't say it's

particular cup of tea, but if you're looking for...

an opportunity to completely disconnect, to cut yourself off from the rat race

or whatever other cliche you want to use, to be completely immersed in nature

and get as far away from civilisation as you can. Mongolia probably does that as

effectively as anywhere else in the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I tell you something? Mongolia has been absolutely

wonderful. Keep supporting UB Comedy Club. You've got an amazing place there.

Well, that was humiliating.

When I think of Bosnia, it only evokes those images

of tragedy and conflict.

Welcome to 1992.

Thank you.

I don't really think this is necessary, dear.

Bosnia is the land of miracle.

Fucking hell.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.