Original subtitles

Champagne, caviar, woman desperate to impress.

Charlie's mother must be on her way.

Joyce and Edward will be here any second with Charlie's brother Andrew and his

new fiancée. And I'd appreciate if you didn't bring up Andrew's first wedding.

The one you ruined?

All I did was read a poem at the rehearsal dinner, which made the bride

that she didn't love Andrew.

We don't know that for sure. She ran out of the church screaming, thank you,

Hope, for opening my eyes.

Champagne, caviar.

Honey, no one blames you for ruining Andrew's wedding.

Except your mother. Except my mother.

Stop. I'll get it.

It was a beautiful poem.

Charles. Hey, Mom.

Oh,

look at you.

So handsome.

Seems like just yesterday I held you at my breath.

That is joy.

Just ignore it's the scotch talking.

Hi, Dad.

Charlie.

Hey, Andrew!

Hey, big bro, how you doing?

There's my beautiful daughter -in -law.

Oh, well,

technically you're not my daughter -in -law, but my heart says otherwise. Mine,

too. You remember home?

Oh, of course. The Poet Laureate of Ohio.

Hey, everyone, here she is.

all the way from Sweden, my beautiful fiancée, Astrid Lugi Beguber.

I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you. What was your name again?

Astrid Lugi Beguber.

Hello. It's nice to meet all of you.

You know, I speak a little Swedish myself.

Välkommen.

Val Korman.

You know we don't have to talk about it. We've got a different waist.

But you know...

Oh, asteroid.

Were you named after a particular asteroid or the arcade games?

Actually, my name is Astrid.

Yeah, well, just so you know, in America, it's pronounced asteroid.

Astrid.

Astroid.

Astrid.

Okie doke. Check out the dumb blonde.

I'm sorry your parents couldn't be here, but I understand you're also having a

ceremony in Sweden?

Yes. My father wishes to be here, but he is on the committee that decides the

Nobel Prizes.

Not that you're going to listen to me, but it's pronounced noble.

By the way, Hope, wonderful dinner. You really have a unique way with chicken.

Well, thank you. Most people worry so much about tenderness and flavor, but I

like your take.

Moisteness be damned.

You know what makes good chicken?

The Navy.

During the Korean War, I spent six months in a tub. I ate like a king.

Justin, look at you.

Yeah, look at me.

That's what a ring bearer wears in a traditional Swedish wedding.

I think he looks dashing.

Looks like a little girl to me.

I don't lose four toes to the siege of Busan to watch my grandson flit around

a dress.

That's it. I'm changing.

Look at my beautiful granddaughters.

Before you know it, we'll be gathering for your wedding.

I'm never getting married. It's just an outdated institution that keeps women

from reaching their true potential.

No offense, Mom.

Oh, you'll marry.

Nerds mate. Where do you think other nerds come from?

Well, we should probably head on back to the hotel.

You two aren't staying together tonight.

Yeah. It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride the morning of the wedding.

Hey, why doesn't Astrid stay with us?

Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea.

Come on. It'll be fun. We can take her out and celebrate her last night as a

free woman. All right, Faith. That sounds delightful.

And, Charlie, we should go have a few beers. Dad, you can come with us.

Well, Grace was on tonight.

Those fruitcakes cracked me up.

Well, maybe just one beer. I'm still working on my best man speech.

You remember Andrew's toast at your wedding?

It was a corker, all right.

Andrew's a funny one.

I think Charlie's a hoot. I mean, just the other day, he came into the kitchen

with his pants pulled up to his chest.

Were you being an old man or a nerd, honey?

I was Seymour, the old man nerd.

Kind of had to be there.

I'm not sure that would have helped.

It's just not funny.

Hey, honey.

Remember the story I told you where Andrew got the marble stuck up his nose

he was too embarrassed to admit it, so he told everybody he had a big zit?

Oh, yes. I love that story. You told it at Christmas.

I did. Did my dad laugh?

I laughed.

Charlie, you don't have to be funny. Just speak from the heart.

We don't do that in my family.

My dad still signs his birthday cards, best regards, Lieutenant Edward

Shanowski.

I think they like the old man nerd.

Oh, God.

I got nothing!

Ah, good morning.

Shh. Oh, there's no reason to shout.

So, what did you and Astra do after I went home last night?

I don't know. What time did you leave?

Right after I convinced you two not to streak the putt -putt course.

Oh, right.

Well, first we streaked the putt -putt course.

Don't worry, I don't think Father O'Malley recognized me.

Although he did say high faith.

Anyway, we wound up at this bar, and this crazy Swedish women's volleyball

showed up, and one thing led to another, and we wound up playing this great game

called flugan.

Flugan? Yeah.

First you roll the dice, then whatever number you land on, you drink that many

shot. I don't think I get it. I know, the rules are hard to understand at

Especially if you're the Schlingman.

Where's Astrid?

Still sleeping. I'm sure she'll be down in a minute.

Hey,

sounds like you two had quite a night.

Yeah. Did you have fun?

Yeah.

Faith?

Yes?

Where's Astrid?

She's right in front of you.

No, she's not.

No wonder she put up such a fight when I tried to drag her into the cab.

How could you bring home the wrong Swede?

Do I need to explain the rules of flugan again?

I can't believe you did this to me.

Charlie's mother already hates me for ruining Andrew's last wedding.

Well, maybe he'll like this one better.

She's younger.

She'll probably last longer.

Jake, where is Astrid?

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, no, sweetie, we're not hot, so we just have a wedding in two hours and no

bride.

She's talking about a youth hostel. It's a hotel for foreign travelers.

Oh, we should check it out.

Maybe Astrid is staying there.

We're looking for the one with the pear -shaped birthmark on her right butt

cheek. How do you know that?

Strip flugan.

Let's just find Astrid and get out of here.

Hey, right here. I found her.

What happened to you last night? You left right after the championship.

Fine.

You find the right suite if it's so easy.

Hello?

Faith? What time it is?

Time to get married. We have less than an hour to get you to the church.

All right, Justin, here's your ring of pansies.

Dad!

Andrew, he's already in tights.

Sorry, guys, it's an old Swedish custom, and it means a lot to Astrid.

Tough luck, buddy.

And here's yours.

I'm just glad my father's dead.

I was just in the bride's dressing room, and guess what?

There's no bride.

Would you care to explain that?

Hope is bringing her. Don't worry, Mom. Why would I worry?

It's not like she ruined Andrew's last wedding. But wait, she did!

Come on, Joyce.

Breathe, breathe.

Listen, POW's less hysterical.

Relax, Mom. They'll be here.

I'll go find them.

It's one man giving you away to another man. Like your property.

I hope you like cats.

Because when you get older, you're going to be living with a whole lot of them.

Oh, we made it. With five minutes to spare.

Oh, my head.

Let me get you some aspirin. I have some in my purse.

Oh, and you could come across Charlie's credit card, which might have fallen in

there and may have bought me some new shoes.

Oh, thank God you're here.

We'll be ready in two minutes. Okay. Oh, hey, how about this for a toast opener?

My brother, a priest, and Henry Kissinger are going skydiving. Go!

Help me get her into her dress.

Okay. Oh, you are going to be a beautiful bride.

Sorry you didn't get to shower.

I have a couple of wet naps in my purse.

Nice beautiful.

Okay, I'll get you another aspirin. Got it.

Uh...

bottle did you take the aspirin from? The tall skinny one or the short fat

I don't know. Why does it matter?

Because one of these is aspirin.

And one isn't.

Okay, they're ready.

We're all set.

What's she doing?

Don't worry. They're just finishing their... tree -wetting taffy.

She's going to ruin everything.

Edward, I'm telling you, she's got something in for Andrew.

Touchdown!

What's the deal? I thought you said they were ready.

Don't worry, Andy. I'm sure everything's fine.

Why'd you call me Andy? You only call me that when things are going wrong.

Relax, amen.

Hey, man.

Oh, my God, you haven't called me that since my last wedding.

Well, hey, let's give it up for Mrs. Weschler on the pipe organ.

Well, I was going to make this toast at the reception.

But since we've got a little time on our hands, my little brother Andrew.

Where do I begin?

You know, I think he was the first baby I'd ever seen with back hair.

I didn't know if I had a little brother or a new pet monkey.

And now, as I look at him standing there on this...

His wedding day.

I'm still not sure.

Who keeps sleeping pills in an aspirin bottle?

Hope, now is not the time to point fingers.

Hope, what's going on in there? Oh, great.

Joyce, now what?

I have an idea, but I'll need some chicken wire, a piece of plexiglass, and

rubber cement.

Are those new earrings? What's going on in there? Nothing.

Then why are you blocking the door?

I'm not blocking the door.

My foot's asleep.

Hope, if you ruin this wedding, so help me God, I'll never forgive you. Now step

aside.

Fine. But first, I have something to say to you that I've been wanting to say

for a very long time.

I make good chicken.

Everyone loves my chicken.

even the juices, and I use an exquisite blend of Provencal herbs and spices

that's one of the most sought -after secrets in Glen Falls.

What is your point? I try so hard to please you, but nothing I do is ever

enough. So you know something?

I don't care anymore, because I know in my heart that I did not ruin Andrew's

first wedding, and I have very little to do with what's behind this door.

You look beautiful.

Where's Faith?

I can't believe my little boy is finally... Oh, you're

right. Mustn't keep Andrew waiting.

See you out there.

We did it. Did what? She's passed out. She can't walk down the aisle.

I'm okay. Are you sure?

Yes, I want to get married.

See, Hope? Now go out there and tell them to get the show on the road.

I don't want to give Joyce one more reason to hate you.

She's right.

She already hates you so much.

Okay, Astrid.

Now I'm going to get your bouquet. And I want you to get ready for the happiest

day of your life. Okay?

Okay. Okay,

somebody's not even trying.

If you're so smart, Dr. Kissinger, where's your parachute?

Hey!

All joke aside, my wife had an idea about what

I should say tonight, and I think she's right.

Sometimes it's enough just to speak from the heart.

Andrew?

I have known you for 36 years, and I don't believe I've ever said these three

simple words to you.

I love you.

I love you, bro.

I love you, too, bro.

This was all your fault. You coddled them as children.

Hey, ladies and gentlemen, check out my daughters.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to join in holy matrimony

Andrew Edward Shanowski and Astrid Loogie Begoober.

Oopsie doopsie.

Marriage, it is a symbiotic relationship between souls, like two saplings

planted together.

In marriage, we give ourselves... freely and generously into the hands of the

one we love.

So by joining hands right now, looking into each other's eyes... Hey, Astrid,

beautiful ceremony.

If there is anyone who believes this union should not take place,

speak now or forever hold your... Stop!

Everyone needs to use the restroom.

Now would be a good time.

I think I will hit the head. Oh, sit down.

Have you gone mad?

Why are you doing this to poor Andrew?

I think the bride can explain.

Oh, no, she can't.

Astrid?

had nothing to do with this.

I'm the one that took Astrid out, got her drunk, took her streaking, pool

hopping, and cow tipping.

Lost her, found her, then accidentally drugged her.

But I only pretended to be her so that you wouldn't blame Hope for another

failed wedding.

This is all my fault, and I'm sorry.

Oh, Faith.

I forgive you.

Excuse me.

Where's Astrid?

Right here, Andy.

I love you.

Oh, my God.

And I forgive you, too.

You might want to take a couple of these.

Are they aspirin?

Yeah, that's right.

Aspirin.

See you in a couple of days.