Original subtitles

Hey, thanks for working with me on the backwards dance, Sam.

Yeah, by the way, you haven't officially asked me yet.

Oh, sorry.

So you want to go?

That's how you ask?

Where's the romance?

Sam Savage, I just want to say that, well, you're a guy and I'm a girl and,

heck, if you'll go to the dance with me, I'll be the happiest girl in the world.

It would be an honor to go with you, Angela.

Great, let's get back to work.

What color tablecloth do you like?

Whatever color you like is fine with me.

Sam, we're doing this together. I really want your opinion.

Okay, definitely red.

Ish gold.

Ish blue. Blue is perfect.

Now, which blue? There are 40 different shades.

I like whichever one is cheaper.

I've been crunching the numbers and there's no way we can afford all the

on this list. I mean...

Disco ball, chocolate fountain, laser lights, bubble machine, revolving dance

floor.

Well, then what can we afford?

Balloons.

And we have to blow them up ourselves.

Hey, Jack.

How would you like to provide the music for the dance?

You want to hire my band?

No, I want to borrow your record collection.

Oh, you want to pay me to be a DJ.

How much you want? Two hundred.

How's 50 ,000? Like an insult. 55?

Now we're talking.

Wow.

Sam, you're a really good negotiator. Really? Well, maybe I can negotiate with

your bra to release its two hostages.

Okay, let's talk crepe paper.

You know, they're also called streamers.

Because, um, you know, when you... Please say something.

Okay,

Kyle. Let's see what you might be eating today.

One large bottle of flaming coolant hot sauce.

Not sure.

Possibly cheese?

some old milk.

Also, possibly cheese.

Let's play refrigerator roulette.

Uh -oh. Uh -oh.

Uh -oh. Uh -oh. Uh -oh.

We're going to send it to a cool website, dumbidiots .com.

Isn't it enough that I know you're idiots?

Does the whole planet have to?

Yes.

Yes, they do.

inputs out.

Any girls after you to the backwards dance yet?

Yeah.

Six, fourteen, seven.

Oh, I'm holding out for nine.

Hey, guys.

Jessica, hey.

Hey. I know why you came by.

And I'd love to... You'd love to what? Move out of the way so I can ask your

brother to the dance?

Yes.

You mean my date?

Hell no!

Yes, and backwards.

Well, then it's not a date.

What are you saying?

I'm not not saying anything.

Okay, pretend this is a four -words dance.

Are we going?

You're so cute when you play dumb.

Am I going to the dance with her or not?

Yes. Yes!

And you're screwed.

Why? She's captain of the dance squad.

And you have to dance with her in front of the whole school.

So? So I've never seen you dance. Well, yeah.

It's because I've never danced.

I mean, I'm probably not great at it, but I'm probably pretty great.

Oh. Yeah, sure, like the time you thought that you could leapfrog over the

parking meter.

Yep, and only me and the meter made saw that one You're gonna be dancing in

front of the whole school, but you know what don't worry teenagers.

I'm pretty forgiving How

many

people watch the video so far two or as I like to call

idiots have that we don't.

They're all either shocking or hilarious.

None of them take a sip of hot sauce and cry like a girl.

You left in the part where I cried?

Come on, come on. You gotta be smart about this.

We're way dumber than these idiots.

I could pour hot cheese all over myself and be the human nacho.

That's really stupid. You're a genius.

All right, I'm going to the store. You guys need anything?

A hundred cans of nacho cheese and a blank videotape.

You guys pull another stupid stunt, I'll ground you.

And I don't mean punished. I will put you in the ground.

It's winter. The ground is frozen.

Yeah, you have to store our bodies in the garage until spring.

showed you.

What's he doing with that shovel?

Don't!

So, I was thinking about putting the chocolate fountain closer to the stage,

then that would free up the snack area for some extra charity.

Yeah, about that chocolate fountain.

Yes? Um, I love it, but I was just wondering if we should have it.

It's just that for the same amount of money, we can get four confetti cannons.

Confetti cannons?

Dance? Are you nuts?

I thought you wanted my ideas. I do. I want your good ideas.

Look, it's a great idea, okay?

Think about it. We're dancing, we're having fun, and then bang, we're having

super fun. Why?

Because the sky is filled with confetti.

Confetti. You can't say it without smiling.

All right, but I know you're smiling on the inside.

Sam, girls spend a lot of time on their hair, and the last thing we want is a

head full of paper dots.

It doesn't have to be just confetti. You can put lots of things in there. Like

what? Like, I don't know, like fake snow or tinsel or sand, whatever you want.

You want to blast sand at people while they're dancing.

Why don't we just cover the floor with broken glass?

Oh, you're probably right, Angela. It's much better to have people walking

around with chocolate all over their faces and being chased by bees.

Bees? Where do you get bees?

Bees love chocolate. Bees love honey. Bees make honey. I know what bees make.

Are you as turned on as I am? No!

Get talk! Big exam!

Beat room!

Look, it's crazy to fight about this.

You know way more about dancing than I do. Let's go with the chocolate

Thanks, Sam.

I'm sorry we fought.

Me too.

Now are you turned on?

Not great.

I must tell you, this comes as a shock.

The people have come to expect great things from me.

Oh, man, I have a date with an insanely hot dancer. What do I do?

Relax. I've got the perfect solution for someone who dances like you.

Yeah? Don't dance.

No, I mean I'm going to show you how not to dance at a dance.

What do you mean?

Write this down.

Any time she tries to drag you onto the dance floor, you say you have to go to

the bathroom or pretend you're getting calls on your cell phone.

This is good. This is good.

And finally, whisper in her ear, hey, can we go somewhere quiet where we can

talk?

That's brilliant.

I won't have to dance and she'll think I'm interested in what she has to say.

Thanks, man.

You're not dancing in thanks enough.

I don't get this show wife swap.

And all they do is vacuum, argue, and cry.

Why bother swapping?

You'd think they'd swap for something good, like... Patriot's tickets or a

plasma TV.

Dad, are you busy? I need some advice.

Is it a moral, ethical, or spiritual problem?

No. Oh, maybe I can help, too.

It's about Angela.

We kind of had a fight today.

You were wrong. She was right.

You haven't even heard the problem yet. Doesn't matter. You were wrong.

No, I'm not.

Okay, one of us wants a chocolate fountain for the dance, and the other

wants a confetti cannon.

Who wants the fountain?

Angela, get the fountain.

Yeah, you gotta get the fountain.

Cannon sounds cool, though.

So how do I make her realize that my way's better?

Do I be right, Sam, or do you want to be happy?

Can I be both? Nope.

So what am I supposed to say when I know that she's completely wrong?

Oh, she's completely wrong?

Completely.

In that case, what you say is, yes, dear.

Or, I agree, darling, it's also acceptable.

Okay, maybe if I give you guys the whole back story, then I think you'll know

where I'm coming from.

It's going to take a while to break this pony hook.

So, I'm going to put the food here.

That's smart.

And I was thinking of putting Jack's DJ stand right here.

This is exactly where I would put him. We are so in sync, it's uncanny.

And right here is where we'll put the chocolate fountain.

Wow, right here, huh?

Oh, yeah, so everyone can see it.

Isn't that clever?

Yes, dear.

I just, I think it's so clever.

I agree, darling.

You ready for Friday night? We are going to dance, dance, dance, dance.

You know it.

Awesome, because I hate when guys try to pull those lame tricks to avoid

dancing.

Tricks? You know, like phony bathroom trips or fake phone calls. Oh, the

What about wanting to go someplace quiet to talk?

Well, that I would love to do.

Right. After we dance our braids out.

Gotta take this. Sorry.

Bye.

Hello?

You know your perfect solution?

Well, it wasn't so perfect.

All right, don't freak.

No, you don't get it. I've got to dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance,

dance.

If there's absolutely no way out of it, just remember these three simple moves.

All right, you're on a tightrope.

You see?

Oh, am I going to fall?

Am I going to fall?

Oh, look out, it's breezy up here.

All right, move number two.

You're the quarterback.

Where's my receiver?

Where is he? Where's my receiver?

Uh -oh.

Now I got two balls.

All right? And I'm still on a tightrope.

Still on a tightrope. Okay, but what if I mess up?

Move number three.

Spin.

Regroup.

Once you got your bearings, go back to move number one.

Tightrope.

Okay? Chris, give number one a try.

Okay.

Two.

Walking on a tightrope.

Two balls.

Now, remember to make sure we light the rockets on both sides at the same time.

Or the couch could flip over and that might not be safe.

Right. And according to my calculations, we should only go up eight feet in the

air.

Then why are we wearing helmets?

He should go nine.

We're rolling?

In G minus.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Stop it!

Ow!

What are you trying to do?

Become the couch rocket, kids.

not see the helmet?

You're teetering, you're teetering.

Where's your receiver?

Where's your receiver?

Now there's two balls.

Spin and regroup.

Nice, you caught it.

Thanks, man.

You really saved me. No problem. Now, anyone about this, I'll pound you, spin

and regroup, and then pound you again.

Now let's dance.

Next. Next!

Where do you want us to stand?

See the drawings and footprints out here, Pete?

That should be a clue.

Okay, on the count of three. One.

I'm not even ready.

Consider it a life lesson. Next!

Can we do a press song?

Sure.

But first, which one of you has a boyfriend?

Why don't you come up here and be my assistant?

You too.

Beat it.

Angela, you did a wonderful job. I mean, everything looks great. Everybody's

having a wonderful time. Yeah, everything really turned out. Where's my

chocolate fountain?

And may I say you look stunning?

It's supposed to be right here.

I don't see it.

That's the point. If I saw it, would I say the words, where is it? No, I'd be

too busy dunking a banana in it.

Is that a confetti cannon?

Okay. I was gonna get the chocolate fountain. I really was. But when I went

the store and I saw the confetti cannons, I just knew that if you gave

chance, you'd love them as much as I do.

You think you know what I like better than I do?

In some certain ways, yeah.

Like what?

I knew you were gonna like me years before you did. But no, you had to go

with all different sorts of chocolate fountains before you gave this confetti

cannon a chance.

I see where you're headed with this, and it's not gonna work. I'm really mad.

So you think you are, but I know that you're not.

Ready to dance?

Cell phone off.

Ladder empty.

Let's do it.

Jack.

All right, everybody.

I'd like to dedicate this next song to my brother, Chris, who doesn't know the

meaning of the word quit.

And lots of other words.

Chris, bring it.

No, Angela, wait!

Are

you

okay?

Grandma? Are you making pancakes?

So you're not mad?

Oh, no, I'm mad.

But I really want to dance in the competition.