Original subtitles

Previously on Cherish the Day. I hope your meeting with Miss Bluma goes well.

Okay, you remember.

Some things just aren't fair.

There's gotta be something we can do. And her stories are incredible.

We record it and put it online.

People are gonna love this. We're supposed to let the corporate radio come

our house?

I thought we were on the same page. We are.

I want to meet with her, see what she's talking about. You never know.

I'm doing a podcast.

Can we talk about it after dinner?

Do you really care about anything that ain't got to do with you? I don't know

what I did, I don't know what I said. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?

I'm almost done. Oh.

Take your time.

You sure you still want to do this?

Do you want to?

We're here.

We might as well go in.

Yeah.

Right?

Nervous? No.

You?

No.

We're just checking it out, right?

Shopping.

That's right.

Shopping.

You show me how deep love can be.

This is my prayer.

I cherish the day.

How long have you two been married?

Two years.

Two years, three months, actually.

Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourselves?

I used to be a CEO of my own tech

company.

A great tech company.

And you, Gently?

I produce podcasts.

The number one podcast that's out right now. Busy Lives.

Yeah.

Well, a lot of people coming to couples counseling come with an agenda, a series

of things that they want to work through.

Thank you.

And I try to provide a space where you can talk about anything. I want you both

to feel free and feel safe to share yourselves here.

So, what made you decide to come here today?

Why don't you turn towards one another?

Really try to connect in that time.

Now, Evan, tell me, when you look at your wife, right now, how do you

feel?

I love her dress. Speak to Jen.

And I'm happy that you came today and that we can do this together.

Me too.

You sure?

I am.

Why?

You're making that face.

No, I'm not.

Gently, can you tell Evan what you'd like to accomplish here?

I'd like to know what's wrong.

What's wrong?

Yeah, what made you think we had to come here?

What's going on with you? What's wrong with me?

Don't you mean us?

No, I mean what I said.

I'm not the one who wants to be here.

Okay, we'll come back to this in a moment.

Tell me how you two met.

At the library.

Which one?

I'm going to tell you what I'm about to do. Ladies, can we consider tabling this

while the rest of us in line handle our book business?

I don't have any problems. We just want to read.

They say it's fundamental.

He's right.

My memory is really bad.

When you think back to that first meeting, what word comes to mind?

Why that smile, Johnny?

I've always appreciated how he instantly loved someone I loved.

Luma Langston.

Oh, shit. Luma Langston.

Yeah.

My granddad used to always say that Luma Langston was the real Diamond Dixie and

not that white lady she played the main for.

Your granddad was right.

You still got it, Miss Loma.

You still got it.

Don't intend to lose it anytime soon.

I instantly fell in love with you and everything that came with you.

I wish that were true.

It is true.

You know what she's talking about right now, Evan?

Really try to hear what she's saying. Don't defend.

I'd like you to translate to me what you think she's saying.

That I don't accept parts of her.

Any truth in that?

Damn.

Rewind.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Jim.

Look, let's just take care of it.

We can go to a real appliance place and we can pick out something with the

measurements.

I can't do that. I can handle it. And we can get it delivered, installed.

It's easier.

That's the solution to everything, huh?

Throw some money at it? You're trying to fix something the way you want it done

and you're judging my way.

I don't...

Believe in blind acceptance and that it should be in a relationship. We should

be pushing each other. We should be helping each other become better.

How does gently help you be better?

She's helped me take risks. How?

By her example.

She's a freer spirit than I am and she made me want to be free.

What's the price for light mosquitoes to light innocence?

I feed off bioluminescence.

Love and intent.

How has heaven helped you?

You show me the value of anchors.

That they aren't always weight.

That feeling stable, solid.

Be a good thing sometimes.

Okay, Evan, I'd like you to look at gently right now and tell her what you

in this moment.

It wasn't supposed to go like this.

I feel like everything I say makes you upset.

You see what you just did?

Oh, my God. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you're doing.

Gently, gently.

What could I have said that would have offended you right now in that

Even in a connected moment, he'll say something like, everything I say upsets

you. You're not taking responsibility for yourself or for the part.

that you play in any of this is putting it all on me.

Like, you've done nothing wrong, and I'm just randomly upset. I don't know. It's

juvenile. It diminishes me.

I'm over it.

Yeah.

You're always over it.

Like, since literally day one.

Point blank. The end.

So, look, you can either get in or get left. I'm ready to go. I'm good.

I just think we should have left it right there.

Yeah, me too.

But you didn't.

Apology accepted.

I accept your apology too.

you can see in a short time with some real introspection we can uncover root

causes key questions and layered feelings that need to be assessed and

but it isn't easy now i know you two are meeting with other therapists and

that's a smart process but if you decide to go with me this is what it'll be

like real work unblinking unflinching

You want to go to the other appointment?

Yeah, the next one is Miss Luma's referral.

I don't want her fussing if we miss it.

Is that the only reason you want to go?

Of course not.

I'm not resistant to this.

I just feel... like... I'm forcing you.

Like it's all on me.

Look, I'm committed to this.

I told you I would and I am.

Can that be enough?

Can you just trust what I'm telling you?

Things ain't what they used to be.

Now it's twice as hard.

Keeping the past in the past. These secrets in the dark.

Everyone around me changing.

I still see their scars.

Got two sides on their faces.

And they played a part.

I just wanna take it back, back, back, back, back Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

just wanna take it back, back, back, back, back Yeah, ooh I just wanna take

back, back, back, back, back Can we take it back, take it back, oh

Is she even a real doctor?

I don't see any degrees.

Maybe she doesn't need to show up.

Ah, you must be Gently and Evan. I'm Coral LaRose.

Nice to meet you, my sweetie.

Get over here.

Give me some love.

All right.

Come on in.

Dr. LaRose.

Doctor of love, sugar.

But I like to keep it simple so you can just call me Coral.

Wow, look at you two.

Beautiful, beautiful.

You know, I think you might be one of the prettiest couples that I've seen.

Fabulous. Okay, and the dress is fierce.

Child, don't let me mess around and lose a couple of pounds because I will be

rocking that.

All right.

So.

How are you guys doing?

Okay, you don't have to be so tense. I don't bite.

Okay.

Well, Miss Luma told me that you guys are looking at different counselors

Smart, smart, smart, smart.

Everybody's different, you know, and you want to find the right person that

you're going to vibe with.

Now, me, I like to cut straight on down to the real nitty gritty, so shall we?

And so my company didn't work out.

I made some miscalculations.

But, you know, we're fine with our personal finances. We don't have any

problems between us. What's mine is hers.

What about you, sweetie?

You're okay with sharing one big pot?

Yeah, it's cool.

It's cool like it's going to work for you, or it's cool like you don't want to

say anything because you don't want to start something.

It's beautiful for the most part, you know, living at the beach, having nice

things, not having to worry about bills.

But it comes at a cost.

Mm -hmm.

Last time I checked, money ain't free, okay? Am I right?

Okay?

I mean, he's a really generous guy. I sound like a crybaby or like I'm

ungrateful, and I'm really not.

I know what I didn't have, and I know what I have now, and I'm very fortunate.

You know, when I think about the things that really cause a lot of emotion, it's

not being a baby if you explore those feelings.

Actually, it's quite the opposite.

Yeah.

When I was on my own, I didn't have a lot, but I had enough.

And when we moved in together, I was not making anything as significant as he

was, so I helped with... I helped out around the house. I helped him with his

errands, and that was my way of contributing.

So when he threw it back in my face, I just can't shake that off. You're just

not going to forgive me for that, are you?

I want to talk about my podcast.

Yes, baby, I want to hear all about it, but can we talk about it after dinner?

Is that cool?

Whatever. Oh, come on, don't do this to me.

I just want to stay focused. You know, take a shower and... Okay, you're right.

I want to hear all about it. I'm listening. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'm listening.

Okay, look.

I was just really excited to share my idea with you, and it feels like you

really give a damn. You know how important this dinner is to me. Okay,

thing's important to me. Just as important. Just as important as a $17

investment into a company who allows you to have as many dreams as you want

without having to think about mortgage or insurance or even a bill.

I was over the moon that day. You know, I had finally found my thing, my

purpose, my calling.

The podcast.

Ooh, girl.

Oh, you know I am hooked on that.

Oh, all of those juicy tidbits about black Hollywood.

Oh, and then when Miss Luma gets to talking, girl, and she's going on and on

about who's left with who with it, who's dirty business, and just all those

black stars, girl. You are doing a fantastic job.

I love it. Thank you.

Thank you. I built that from the ground up all around Miss Luna, and I'm really

proud of it. Well, you should be.

Shouldn't she?

Yeah.

Is it?

When you were telling me about the idea for the podcast, you knew that I was

getting ready for a dinner. It was really important, and you knew that. And

just expected me to drop everything in that moment, and I just couldn't. And it

wasn't that I was disinterested forever or against you.

This is the perfect example of the double standard we live under. What's

for him, it ain't okay for me.

He is always complaining about me being on my phone.

Look, tell him.

You are always complaining about me being on my phone.

Yet you stay on your phone.

But when you do it, you're working. When I do it, I'm not paying enough

attention to you.

I work, too.

When I'm on my phone, I'm reading.

I'm doing research, too.

And I just feel like you never really supported me in that. And I've always

supported you. Always.

I'm just, you know, always so busy, so.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you got a whole other vibe going on. Work is important to you.

Of course.

Yeah. But I am considering really striking out on my own. Risky.

I love it.

It's a beauty, right?

You remember that?

Yeah, I do.

I'm sorry. Back up, back up. Because I'm going crazy right now. Are you actually

saying that I don't support you?

Look. I don't support you. That's an accurate statement, gently.

I need a flatbed.

Oh, a flatbed.

That's the worst counter, Erin.

You need a hand?

Yeah, I'd like a hand. What am I not seeing? She makes me happy more and more

every day. She challenges me.

She's who I'm with, and I expect you to respect me enough to see that.

Take good care of me. care of my girl do you hear me otherwise okay look look

look look sometimes we forget the good all right so i just want us just to take

a deep breath okay and we're going to breathe out all of the bad okay just and

we can breathe in the good you guys come on i need you to work with me okay just

try this all right i need you to breathe out just breathe out all of the the

misunderstandings

Breathe out all of the grudges.

Breathe out all of that. And we're going to breathe in those butterflies

that you had in your stomach when you first started dating.

Oh, all right.

That's how we do it, huh?

Want to know my favorite Buddhist quote?

Do not dwell on the past.

Do not dream of the future.

Concentrate your mind on the present moment.

I like that.

Breathe in those moments when you knew that this was real.

My man, I didn't order my car.

Hey.

You need a ride?

I damn sure do.

Come on.

Breathe in the first dance.

This is how you travel.

Breathe in all of those things that you love about each other Where were we?

Breathe in the love that is shared between the two of you.

I love you.

Love you too.

How are you two relating to each other physically?

There's no physical violence.

Boy, she's talking about sex.

Yeah.

Right.

All is well there.

Yeah, when it happens.

Oh, so has your lovemaking become more infrequent?

I wouldn't say infrequent.

Maybe not as frequent as it used to be.

And how frequent was that?

A lot.

Long as you want it, you can keep it.

I jump inside it with no regrets.

Make you cry next to me.

When I'm feeling, you know I mean it.

It's raining all season. I want to feel you rocking on my body.

I feel you rocking on my body. While everybody's in the party.

I feel you rocking on my body. I want to feel you rocking on my body.

I feel you rocking on my body.

Well,

you know, it seems like you guys have shared a lot of beautiful moments.

A lot of trust, too.

It happened.

I think I'm struggling with it now.

Yeah, but I don't think trust is our issue.

Trust is exactly our issue.

Look, it's been really hard for me to watch the way you treated J. Doe.

He was a trusted person in your life, and you just threw him away, and that's

been hard to watch.

Evan built his whole company with his boy, and then he just dumped him. I

dump him, J. Doe. Wait, wait, just let her finish, sweetie.

Because of what? Because he made a mistake?

Because he disagreed with your philosophy?

Because he wanted to stick to the mission?

Babe, that's not what happened.

We are not supposed to have a board that has completely changed the fundamentals

of our company.

They have no idea who we are or what we stand for. They have no idea. They don't

give a shit.

We're not supposed to stop just because they don't get it, man.

Jado, Jado's team slipped up and leaked info to the public.

I mean, the investors were calling for someone's head and it wasn't going to be

mine. I mean, I started the company.

He was our friend.

It's business.

Evan, how does it make you feel when you hear this?

Being judged.

Unsupported. Join the club.

Sorry, I should not have said that. I shouldn't have said that.

Then why did you?

I'm sad.

Disappointed.

I don't know.

See, and that's all the part of this glorious life.

Your reactions, your perceptions, and your processing of these things, they

determine the rise and the fall, darling.

And we've got to rise.

We've got to rise.

What am I admitting? Just admit it.

Look, I'm not saying I'm scared of him, okay?

Okay. So then what would you say? Hey, Evan, I need you to be truthful with Dr.

Como. If we're going to get the most out of this session, we got to look it in

the face. No. We got to trust the process.

You ain't no good.

Nah, look, I'm just giving the man his respect. You got a name like Bone, and

you know you got some respect coming to you.

And whatever, man. I ain't talking to y 'all. Look, me and Bone are good, all

right?

Hey, you smiling, sis.

What's going on?

What are you thinking about?

I'm just thinking back to the first time I ever met Ben and his friends.

You don't snag now.

Ben,

this is Evan, a new friend.

Evan, this is my parent, Ben.

Look, who set you up? Uncle Bob, please sit down.

What set you strong?

TV set.

Homie, I'll take care of you, man.

Nobody moves nothing around here without my say -so.

Yeah, I understand, yeah. I'm good, yeah.

Everything's good.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, it was a pleasure to meet you, sir.

You too.

Finn's like my dad. He raised me.

And he always knew Evan was the one.

He said that?

Yeah.

The night Evan proposed, I got cold feet.

I was scared and confused.

So I talked to Ben.

And he told me not to run away just for the sake of running.

First time your mother was coming to get you and didn't show up.

That night, you ran out of the house.

Rode your bike all the way to Kenneth Hunt Park, remember?

Yeah. That's when you started your running.

The older you got, the further you ran, all the way to the other side of the

world. But you ain't been nowhere since you met Heaven.

He looks at you like you're everything in the world to him.

That matters.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

And my whole tribe loves Evan, so.

And what about Evan's family?

Do you have a good relationship with them? It depends on how you define good.

Here we go.

What? I mean, look, his pops love me. I can say that, you know, right from the

start. But the rest of his family.

Esther, come on.

Like, gently has got to be my niece's favorite person.

Esther's my heart.

You picked a great color. Rolling in here looking like the Obama's bringing

the flash to get her hair done.

And I think your hair looks dope.

And what about Evan's mom?

Long story.

Sorry, we got a minute.

Okay.

I guess unlike Ben, Evan's mom didn't think I was the one.

It's... Not like that.

Me and my mom, we were always very close.

She was such a classy person, and she had very clear views on what's right and

wrong, what's good or bad.

But the code that she lives by is flawed.

All right.

Drop it, okay?

It's me, and I know you.

That's all right. I'll play the bad guy. I understand that.

But I know what you want.

And I know what will really make you happy.

Don't blow this whole thing on pride, Evan.

Rise to the occasion of your life.

Let me at least give you, and gently, a wedding to remember.

It's based on things that...

Aren't important to me to surface things.

I think that's why she was hard on gently.

Being with her.

Made everything transparent.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

I do know what you're saying.

And getting to know your family is key.

I do that because where we come from gives us the foundation of how we love.

So, let me ask you both, what do you two hope to accomplish through therapy?

It's okay.

It's okay.

We'll work through it step by step.

Hold the pose.

Okay, this is weird.

Hold it.

I mean, I hate this.

How long?

Don't ask questions.

I just want to know.

I don't get it. Try to get out of your own heads and lean into the experience.

Are you okay?

Not really.

It's hard to hold, isn't it?

Yes.

Take a deep breath and close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Why are you...

Why did you stop?

Too uncomfortable.

If you could have allowed yourself to stay in that place, that particular

exercise simply could be you enjoying the closeness of your partner, holding

your partner, connecting to your partner.

Okay. I see.

It's okay. Let's try another exercise.

Tell me the first thing that pops into your mind when I say marriage.

Why? All right, y 'all.

Roll with me.

Money. Necessary. Burden.

It's okay.

It's okay. We'll embrace our truths at the end of the session.

Sex. Busy. Busy.

Yeah, I hear y 'all.

Church.

Mother. Spirit.

Very good.

Vacation.

Necessary.

Interesting answer there.

Solitude.

Relief.

Future.

Help.

I guess scared.

Marriage is hard, y 'all.

It isn't just smiles and fun and she's my beautiful queen and he's my amazing

king post on Instagram.

Sometimes you gotta dig in.

Go deeper.

Let me ask y 'all a few questions.

Hard ones.

Ready? Yeah.

Evan? Do you love your wife?

Of course.

Do you want to be with your wife?

Of course.

Gently.

Do you love Evan?

Yes.

Do you want to be with Evan?

I do.

Yes, that's why I'm doing this.

How many nights a week do you spend together?

Well, normally a lot.

But I've been working lately.

I have a big show coming up, so I've been really busy.

I feel like... It's like I barely see you anymore, G.

And you are around? I mean, more than she is.

We used to hang out all the time.

I'd come home, and you were there.

I don't know.

Everything was just cool.

But now, it's like I'm lucky if I can see you twice a week.

Wow.

Gently, you have a different take on that? I just find it interesting that

things were cool when I was home waiting for you.

I never tripped.

You know, I never said, I barely see, I'm lucky if I see him.

I mean, but it's different.

Gently, you're shaking your head. Tell us what you're thinking.

I'm just thinking this is crazy.

I don't want to answer to you. If I want to be out, I'm going to be out.

But that's a thing a woman's perspective.

Or a grown woman.

It's not a married woman's perspective.

Because I'm married, I'm beholden to you.

You come and go whenever you please, and you do not ask me for permission.

Actually, yes.

I am beholden to you. I thought that you were beholden to me.

I thought that's the way it was supposed to be. So you don't want me to do the

one thing that makes me the happiest I've ever been in my entire life? The

thing. So I don't make you happy?

I didn't say that.

In a perfect world, what do you want, Evan? Look, it's not even in a perfect

world. I'm not asking you too much. I just want the way that it used to be. I

miss you, Gently.

I want a wife I can come home to at night, a woman who would put me before

job.

Gently, what do you want from Evan?

I want you to want this for me.

This meaning your career? Yeah.

Dude, you're flipping the script.

Oh, there's no script.

It's called evolving. That means growing, changing. It's growing apart.

Go further with that.

I don't know. It's just the exercise that we were doing early when we put our

heads up to each other. It's just...

If you had just stayed in that moment, you could have learned something about

yourself. But you're not willing to be uncomfortable. You don't want to be

uncomfortable, gently, ever. I shouldn't have to be uncomfortable.

I have catered to you.

I've changed myself for you.

And I find one thing for me, and you mad.

That makes me furious, and I resent that, and I'm not doing this with you. I

shouldn't have to give up what I love for you, for anyone.

No.

You shouldn't have to give up what you love for me. Can you please stop with

passive -aggressive shit, Evan? It's really weak. Excuse me? Please stop. I'm

not the weak one. You heard me. No. Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

Stand up. Let's try one more. No, I don't think this is working. It'll all

together with this last one.

Please. Trust me.

Trust.

Okay, y 'all follow me.

Face each other.

Hold hands.

Now, I want you to hold this connection as long as you can.