Original subtitles

You are here with me, looking

far,

far away.

Yes,

I'll be still.

Do you hear me?

God damn it.

Where were you?

I went for a walk.

Nice.

He had to go to the bathroom, and you weren't there to help me lift it. I

thought Mickey showed you how to do it yourself.

Oh, yeah, you try doing it yourself. It's not that easy.

I'm sorry.

I just, I did not sleep very much all that night.

Go take a nap.

No. Yeah, Mom.

Mom.

Barbara! Dad, I'm here, Dad. Barbara!

Dad, do you need something? I can do it.

Okay, all right.

Mommy's calling for you. Okay.

Hi, honey.

Barbara! I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Hi. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Okay. All right.

The morphine. What?

On the nightstand. Pass me the morphine.

Okay. Thank you.

Okay, here we go.

Barbara. Okay, we'll do half.

Only half.

Okay.

Okay, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go.

Okay, there.

I should have come back sooner.

Yeah, you should have.

What did you do?

Mom, it's fine.

Oh, I didn't... No, I didn't throw anything away. There we go about this.

Well, I... Well, it smelled like shit and had human teeth inside.

Where do you even get teeth? Mom, you know what? I really don't want to know.

Get the medicine.

Well, it's disgusting.

When did you start believing in voodoo?

When did you become a cultural chauvinist?

I've always had a spiritual side.

You went on a yoga retreat 20 years ago. I'd hardly call that being spiritually

enlightened.

Well, Deb says that all experiences have meaning and value.

Oh. Well, if Deb says that, then it must be true. They don't just let anyone

become a yoga instructor.

What?

You don't need this negative energy weighing him down.

Mom, I don't... Go.

Any changes in the medication?

He's in the meeting, so we stopped the odansetron and Kroger.

That's to be expected at this point.

You should talk with this doctor.

You may be able to stop the dexamethasone tablets and the Thorazine

stick with the mirtazapine and oxycodone.

Has he been responding to the morphine?

Yes.

Oh, he doesn't need that much.

That's the recommended amount.

No, but he doesn't like taking that much.

He closes his mind.

I think he's beyond that.

Clearly he's in pain.

You need to be giving him the full dose.

Mom, come on.

We should.

Thank you so much for your time.

You need to make sure he's getting his full dose of morphine.

It's important to stay ahead of the pain.

I see this happen all the time.

She's withholding it because it makes her feel needed.

I'm sure she already feels pretty needed. He calls out for her all the

calls out for her because he's in pain.

Not because he wants her.

If she gave him the correct dosage, he wouldn't call out.

Almost there.

Okay.

Come on, Annie.

Yep.

This will be much easier than getting you to the bathroom.

Mom. Yeah.

Do you remember that thing Dad and I were working on?

What thing?

The non -profit.

The scholarship program.

Oh, the one to help ethnic kids.

Low -income mom.

Jesus Christ.

Is that still a thing? Yeah, we definitely don't call people ethnic

No, I meant the scholarship program.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's the hope.

Dad said that if the grant didn't come through, that he would pay to contribute

to... No.

What do you mean, no? The answer is no.

Can we have a conversation about it, please?

We can't afford it right now.

Can I ask why?

Medical expenses.

I thought insurance was covering the medical costs.

It's not that.

Look, I would not ask if we had any other options, but we were counting on

money. Why are you always borrowing money? I'm not always borrowing money,

it's not for me. It's for the kids.

What a martyr.

Mom, I'm not a martyr.

Mom, you know what? Is this something you even wanted, or are you just doing

this for him? Of course I want to do this. Of course.

Because if you really wanted to do this, you would have applied for more grants.

What was the backup? She was the backup plan.

What? You cannot rely on us forever.

God damn it.

Where are my glasses?

Mom, you're alarmed. Yes, I know, I know, but I can't read the goddamn

spreadsheet without my glasses.

Mom, where are they? Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.

What? They're right there.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Let me give him a drink. Let me do it. Let me do it. I'll do it. Yeah.

Yes, fine. Do it.

Why don't we take the night off, all right? We deserve a break.

I can't leave them alone.

It wouldn't have to be for long.

No, we... We can just go to dinner.

I'll call Nikki, and she can come over. No, no, that is... No, that is out of

the question.

Then you go and I will stay here with him.

What if something happens? What if... What if he stops breathing? I'll call

I got it.

I got it.

How's it going?

It's the same.

I honestly don't know how much longer we can keep this up.

Sorry.

It's fine. It's fine.

I mean, it's not, but...

I finally convinced her to take a night off, so that's something.

Hey, really? What you doing?

I'm going to dinner with friends, I think.

Maybe a movie.

I don't know.

I mean, that's a big step for her.

Yeah, she hadn't taken a night off since Dad got sick.

Look, I know this is terrible timing, but did you ask her about... I'm working

on it.

I'll get the money.

Barbara! It's okay.

It's okay. I'm here.

Do you want some water?

She's not here, Dad. It's just me.

Dad, um... What can I...

Barbara!

Barbara!

I'm coming, Dad. I'm coming. I'm coming.

Here we go, here we go.

There you go.

It's okay.

What's wrong with it?

I think he's dead.

Can you fix him?

No, sweetheart.

When something dies, they can't come back.

Why not?

It's just the way it is.

All you can do is let him go.

Do people die?

Yeah.

Everything dies eventually.

Will you and Mommy die?

Yeah. But not for a very long time.

I don't want you to die.

It's okay.

Hey, hey.

I know.

Death isn't anything to be afraid of.

It's natural.

Death is what makes life so special.

You know what the funny thing about death is?

Even when someone dies, they don't really go away.

They don't? No.

As long as you remember them and love them, they'll always be with you.

You know what that means, right?

are stuck with me forever.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad, let's get you back to bed.

What?

What?

Come on.

Oh, it's okay.

I already gave him his morphine.

What?

What?

He was in pain, so I gave it to him a little early.

You can't just give him his medication whenever you like. There's a schedule in

play, but there's a... All right, I'm sorry. I will not do it again. I'm so

sorry, Mom.

But he's fine. Look, he's fine.

What's the big deal?

I just gave Robert his morphine.

to him without checking anything first. Oh, my God.

It's not my fault.

Oh, so it's my fault?

Did we call somebody?

Did we take him to the hospital?

I don't know.

He's on one of those DNR things.

I don't think they would allow us to help him.

Is two doses lethal?

What do we do?

Do you hear that?

What?

That scratching sound.

It's just the rats.

Rats?

Cut them for yours.

They got him through the roof.

It was Robert's job to call the exterminator when things got really bad.

I think it's time to call the exterminator.

Mom. Mom.

Mom.

What do you think he...

He's already cold.

I thought the end would be different somehow.

Some final moment.

We weren't even awake. It doesn't feel right.

Oh, no.

What? What?

We need to close his eyes and mouth before the rigor mortis ends.

We waited too long. Much harder. I don't want to hurt him.

It's a little late for that.

Try. Give it another try.

Okay, here we go.

It won't stay down at all.

It doesn't feel real.

No.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I don't know.

Okay, I don't... All right, I don't really know.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, no.

Um... Mom?

No, I... Mom!

Yeah, okay.

What the hell? Mom!

What the fuck?

I understand.

All right.

Thank you.

What? Why were you running away from me like that? I wasn't running away.

Were you talking to the funeral home? No.

What are you doing?

We need to keep the body cold.

Why? Stop the decomposing.

We need to keep it cold so it stays fresh through tomorrow.

You want to keep him here overnight?

Yes. Are we allowed to do that?

Alexa, play of you.

Here's a view by Human Things.

Are you okay?

Alexa, stop.

Alexa, please.

Alexa, stop.

Mom, just tell me. What's going on?

I didn't mention it before because I didn't think he'd approve.

Approve of what?

Deb recommended him.

Recommended who?

He doesn't have a name.

I mean, she gave me his number.

I mean, not his number, but...

If it may lift.

Things we have to prepare before his arrival.

Mom, who is coming over? The man Deb recommended.

Recommended for what?

To bring Robert back.

From where?

You don't know.

Oh, Mom.

No, Debra said he could. He's done it before.

Listen, will you just let me? I always, I always let you.

When chemo stopped working, I went along with the crystals and the herbal teas

and the smudging and all the other bullshit that didn't work. Well, maybe

didn't work because you didn't believe that it would. Oh, yeah.

Sure, it's my fault that Intense can't cure cancer.

The point is, I let you try it, but this, Mom, Mom, this is fucking crazy.

luckily, it's not up to you.

Alexa, play.

Mom, wait. I can't seem to find.

Mom, wait.

Alexa, shut the fuck up.

Look, I know we don't always see eye to eye on everything, but I really need you

to just take a minute, take a minute, and really think about this, okay?

Do you honestly believe that some random guy can bring Dad back? Yes.

See, this is why I didn't tell you.

Mom, you're a smart woman. How can you possibly believe that that's true?

Fuck Deborah!

Deborah still thinks vaccinations cause autism. You cannot listen to her. But

what if he's right?

What if he can bring Robert back?

We can't just sit around and do nothing.

You have no idea what it's like. You're not the only one. It is not the same.

It is not the same.

That's a play of you.

Tears of You by Human Beings.

Hey, kiddo.

I don't know what to do.

Your mother's grieving.

You've got to be patient with her.

If you fight her on this, she's just going to dig her heels in more.

What would you do?

Well...

If you don't let her try this, then you're the bad guy.

She'll resent you and always wonder if it could have worked. But if you go

with it and it doesn't work, then what's his name? It's the bad guy, not you.

I hate when you're right.

Alexa, turn on the volume.

Have you been smoking?

Have you been drinking?

Where do you want to start?

We need to gather all his precious objects.

Anything that holds the most memories of him.

Things he most loved.

We really have to clear this all out?

There must be a blank slate.

If you know what it's like to be...

Can't we just burn one thing?

We have to burn everything.

It's just stuff.

Not him.

It's all we have left, Mom.

Do you think keeping a watch is going to help you remember your father better?

No, that's not what I mean.

Because none of this matters.

It just doesn't matter.

It's the memory.

That's what's important.

I love that photo of you, too.

It's my favorite.

Now you're such a good little dancer.

Couldn't get enough of it.

It was so sad when he made you give it up.

What are you talking about?

You don't remember?

Rupert thought the damn thing was a distraction, how he took you out of your

classes.

That doesn't sound like him.

It was exactly like him.

That's what he did.

Molded people.

That's why you ended up in chess club instead.

Well, that's not how I remember it.

You always had a glorified image of your father.

You never saw him clearly.

Oh, and you did?

People save the worst parts of themselves for their spouses.

It's terrible.

Yeah, sometimes it was.

If you were so unhappy, why didn't you just leave?

Because he also saved the best part for me, too.

Robert wasn't perfect.

Nobody is.

Loving the best part of someone is easy.

It's seeing their flaws and accepting them and knowing they do the same for

That's love.

Come on, honey.

I know it's just best. Mom, one photo will not make a difference.

Oh, no, no. No, no. No phones. No phones. No phones.

Look, you will thank me tomorrow.

Now,

let's get cleaned up.

Is this really necessary?

Ow!

What's wrong?

I've lost my place.

I don't know if I should start at the beginning or if I should go pick up from

where I left.

I didn't say anything.

I think you should slow down.

It's not too late to back out.

I can't back out.

He's not even here yet. We could just call and say we changed our minds.

I'm not changing my mind.

Jesus, when did you get this dark?

Okay, my mother was at the punishment.

Having a daughter was here. Turn out just like you.

I'm not. Oh, yes, you are.

I mean, you blame me for all your shortcomings while your father... Can we

Please, I think you should slow down.

Good for you.

Okay, look, I'm not trying to talk you out of anything.

I just think it seems like you're a little stressed, that's all.

I'm here for you, okay? I'm just saying I'm here for you, whatever you want to

do.

Are you okay, Mom?

We both know that you just don't want to be here.

I just said I'm here for you.

No, I just said you ruin everything if you stay. What are you? I'm ruining it.

Honey, I want you to go. I want you to go. What is going on? I'm not going to

leave. Just go.

It's what you do best.

That is not fair.

You knew he was sick.

And you left anyway.

And then you didn't come back until it was too late. I did not leave because

got sick. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Your precious life in New York was more

important to you than your dad. No, Mom. I left because of you.

Me? Yes.

How controlling.

You were breathing down my neck. You were micromanaging everything I did,

everything he did.

Well, what was I supposed to do? I mean, how was he supposed to take care of

himself? I could have helped, but you treated me like a child that was getting

in the way. Oh, fine. It's my fault that you left. Is that what you're saying?

Fine. Then it is my fault. No, it's your fault that you stayed away so long. You

should have come back sooner. You should have come back when he was coherent

enough to recognize you. I didn't know how bad it was. You just kept saying he

was doing fine.

every excruciating detail, the weight loss, the vomit loss. You should have

me. You knew he was sick.

And you just didn't want to deal with it. No, you didn't want to deal with it.

He wanted to die in peace without the chemo. But you forced him into treatment

even though the doctor said it wasn't going to save him. But it didn't matter

what he wanted. And it didn't matter what I wanted because the only thing

ever fucking matters is what you want.

We'll find it.

Oh!

Mom! Mom!

Mom.

We cleared everything out.

I got the incense and candles you requested.

The crystals have been hanging for three weeks.

You want us to prepare the body first, right?

So, we'll get started.

Is that really necessary?

He's supposed to be naked for the ritual.

What are you doing? I told you... You can have a little modesty until the

starts.

Is that all right?

See, it's fine.

What is that?

It's a witch's letter for protection.

Is that your hair?

Oh, my God.

What was that?

Here are the ashes.

He wants us to put Robert in the circle.

How are we gonna... Just do it.

I'm gonna get under him. Right here.

Okay. One, two...

Mom, can we talk for a second? Not now. Yes, now.

How much are you paying him for this?

None of your business.

Mom, mom.

There's a lot of money in that bag.

How much are you paying him?

Did he all have done?

Mom, mom, this conversation is not over.

How much?

Everything.

What does that mean?

But you still have your savings in your 401k.

Yeah? All of it.

Mom.

Mom. Mom. Tell me.

Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't.

I'm going to do it.

I can't. It's too late to turn back now.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. What are you going to live on? I can't support you.

I can't. It doesn't matter.

Of course it matters. Of course it matters.

Okay, Mom. Mom.

Okay, Mom.

Imagine you're actually able to bring Dad back.

What are you going to live on? Did you ever think about that? It doesn't

Oh, for fuck's sake. Mom!

How could you do this to me? That wasn't just your money!

Don't be so hard on your mother.

She's trying her best.

No.

I can't.

I can't.

You know, you can't leave her alone with him.

You're all she has left now.

Where is it?

What did you do with it?

Megan.

What is that?

What's that for?

Protection.

Protection from what?

Once the circle is sealed, we cannot leave until the ritual is complete.

Okay?

We have to do exactly what he says

or things could get.

What?

Once we prepare the body, we'll do the second surrender and perform the spell

take us to the other side. Then we'll summon Robert's spirit back to his body.

And the third surrender will bring us home.

Are you ready?

Yes.

So I should have a side.

What's that for?

Cry. Cry?

Well, I can't just cry on command.

Your father just died.

I'm sorry, I...

You

know what that means, right?

You're stuck with me forever.

Robert, there you are.

What are you doing? We're going to be late.

Is that what you're wearing?

I thought you liked this dress.

I do.

It's fine to wear when we go see your friends.

We never go see my friends. I just don't think it's appropriate for dinner at

the deep end.

This is not coffee. This is reinvigorating my career.

I would be back before the semester even started. Five weeks is a long time. You

left for three months during your sabbatical. It's not the same.

No, it's not, because you would be the one left alone here with Megan. That's

not...

It's not the

right time.

Maybe in a few years.

Hey, kiddo.

This is ridiculous.

Robert, you're overreacting. I knew this was a mistake. I should have never let

you talk music. It's not a mistake. She loves dancing. Well, it's a distraction.

She'd be focusing on her studies.

Robert, she's seven years old. You have to start good habits when they're young.

All she said was that Megan should be in a more advanced dance class. What could

possibly be wrong with that? Because it's not just a dance class.

It's starting her down a path. And if she goes too far down it, she could end

like...

... ... ...

Don't.

I feel so good.

I can't feel my legs.

Mom. Mom.

Mom!

What did you do?

The second surrender.

Oh, Mom.

No. I don't want to do this anymore.

Edna.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

T .T. D. E. Anna Sarka. E. Anna Sarka.

We need to get out of here. I'm not going anywhere without him.

Robert. Didn't you say there's a summoning spell we're supposed to do?

The spell summons his spirit back to the body. But it won't work if we don't

have his body. We need to get it back, Robert.

Robert.

I don't think that's him.

No, that was his body, but that's not him.

If we can get him out of time,

we can summon his spirit. What about whatever's inside his body now?

Oh, Mom.

Mom, we have to go home. This is clearly not where we're supposed to be. No, no,

no, no. We can't leave him here. That is not Dad.

We don't know where he is. He might not even be here. We should just go home.

We're not going to leave.

Why? We can't. Why not? Because I don't know how.

You don't know how to get back? Of course not.

That's what he was for.

But you said, no, no, no.

No, no, no. I know we're supposed to summon his spirit and then do the third

surrender to take us home.

But you don't know what that is. No, I don't.

Okay, first.

First we need to get his body back into the circle.

And then we need to figure out a way to summon the spirit.

And then once we're...

Come here.

Here you go.

Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Mom! Mom! Mom, what are you doing?

No.

You want this?

No. No.

Come here.

It's okay.

Maybe we can... No. No.

One more step.

Please.

I don't know if you can hear me, but if you're out there, I can

really use your help.

Please.

If there's anybody out there who can hear me.

Please help me.

Please, please.

Doctor, please!

No, don't leave! Don't leave me, please!

Dad, please come back.

Please help me.

Shut up!

Just shut up!

Go away.

Their surrender will bring us home.

Can I love you?

Do you know what it's like to be alone?

Do you know what it's true?

Hello?

Do people die?

Well, yeah.

Everything dies eventually.

Will you and Mommy die?

Dad? Yeah.

It's been a very long time.

Dad! Dad!

Dad!

Dad! Dad!

It's me! Please!

Please! Dad!

Even when someone dies, they never really go away.

They don't?

No.

No, so long as you remember them, they'll always be with you.

You know what happens, right?

You're stuck with me forever!

When something dies, they can't come back.

Why not?

Just the way it is.

All you can do is let them go.

Do people die?

Well, yeah.

Everything dies eventually.

F -U -NO!

monster in your spot all the time

Look at you.

How could you do this?

How could you die like that?

I know it's not really you.

I know.

But I need you to be her for now.

had this image of you in my head of who you both

were.

It stopped me from really seeing either of you.

Maybe if I had, none of this would have happened.

I'm tired of fighting.

You're stubborn.

And you're selfish.

And you drive me fucking nuts.

But I do love you.

All of you.

I'm sorry I didn't say that more.

you

you