All language subtitles for stick.s01e02.crab

Come on, Mitts. We leave in two days.

- I need you to come with me on this trip.
- Forget it.

- Now cut the wheel.
- Hey, I am cutting it.

You're off-tracking too much.

What is off-tracking?
I don't even know what that means.

It sounds like something you do
on a dune buggy.

If you're gonna borrow this thing,

you gotta learn
how to operate it properly.

Just slow it down.
You're coming up on a pivot point.

Hey, well, if you're this worried,
you could just come with us on the trip.

No. I don't think so. No, thank you.

All right, start your turn now.

You're not supposed to hit the cones.

It's just eight weeks. The good ol' days.

You and me out on the road,
playing golf, remember?

Yeah. All right, start your cut now.

Okay. No, no, too much.

- I know what you're doing, Pryce.
- What am I doing?

You're deliberately driving
like an asshole

so I'll go on this trip with you.

I'm not that calculating.

I genuinely drive like an asshole.

Have you seen my car?

All right, now let's just slow it down.
Come to a complete stop at the chair.

Slowly.

That actually went better than I expected.

Listen, come out today
and just watch Santi play.

This is a very comfortable chair.
I loved this chair.

If you don't wanna come on the road
after you watch the kid swing,

- I'll drop it.
- You'll drop it?

- I will drop it.
- You'll drop it?

I said I'll drop it, but I think
you're gonna be begging me

to pick it up after you see him.

- Are these your clubs?
- Top of the line.

This is like the island
of lost clubs here.

Where did you get these?

People leave shit at the range
all the time,

so I guess you could say I found them.

There's a reason for that.

This looks like a TV antenna.
What is this?

It's like you're sponsored by team janky.

Hey. One, two, three, eyes on me.

Put your phone away.

Quick little icebreaker.
Why do you think we're here today?

Because you promised
to give my mom $100,000,

and you want to make sure I don't suck.

No. Well, yes.

But we came out here today

because I wanna see what you do
on the course.

I wanna see what you see. Your instincts.

You know Arnold Palmer?

Iced tea. Lemonade. Mix it.

- I'm missing a nap for this.
- No, he's being funny.

That's good. I like that.

Arnold Palmer,
true philosopher of the game,

distilled it all down to this,

"Golf is a game of inches.

The most important being the six inches
between your ears."

Meaning, you can't just grip it
and rip it.

You gotta be able
to think your way around the course.

I appreciate the TED talk
and everything, but can we just play golf?

Best idea I've heard all day.

- Let's play.
- All right.

I don't know, you might want to putt it.

You catch this too strong
and it's going into the gully.

What do I know?

Oh, come on.
You're not gonna give us anything?

Fuck.

It's okay.

Remember, it's all about the six inches
in between the ears.

You were right.

The kid can hit the damn cover
off the ball.

Soft hands too.

But he plays like a 17-year-old.

He goes for broke.
All risk, little reward.

When it's good, it's great.

But when it's not,
it looks something like that.

Fuck.

Whoa. Easy, cowboy.

You don't need to cut the corner here.

Just lay up right there
and then onto the green for a birdie

and you card a 71.

I thought you wanted to see my instincts.

I do. But why take a risk
when you can end on a high note?

Why go around when you can just go over?

- Tell me you don't wanna go on this trip.
- I don't wanna go on this trip.

Your mouth's saying one thing,
but those eyes are saying something else.

You're giddy.

Drink me.

Macchiato with half and half.
Your favorite.

Thank you. Wow, you're all cleaned up.

Easy with the come-on.

We are over, sadly,
but we need to be professional.

Sorry. I see you in a clean shirt,
and I just can't control myself.

I know, but you gotta try.

Jill, can you bring in
the closing documents for Raintree.

- Sure thing.
- Here we go, closing documents.

By the way,
I took the kid out this morning.

I'm telling you, what he was doing
with his shots, spectacular.

It's exciting.
I'm glad you found something.

We need your signature here, here,
here, and here.

Okay.

I kinda feel like
I'm signing a peace treaty.

I should use different pens,
you know, the way the presidents do?

- I'm kind of in a hurry, Pryce.
- Yeah. Let me get cracking.

Sorry.

Thanks.

I hope you're right about this.

Lunch de... Oops, sorry.

- Didn't mean to interrupt.
- It's okay. You can come in.

- You two know each other.
- Of course. Pryce, good to see you.

Ben Putman.

- We met a few times at Christmas things.
- That's right.

- How are you doing, Ben?
- Great, yeah.

- It's been a while.
- Yeah.

How's things? You still golfing?

- Yeah, still golfing.
- Good, good. America's pastime.

Yeah, it's actually baseball, but...

Right. Yeah.

Anyway, I just came to drop off lunch.

Thank you, Ben.

You're welcome.

It's a bento box.

'Cause of my...

Anyway, it's stupid.

I try to follow a Blue Zone diet.

Ninety-five percent fruits,
veggies, grains, you know.

I have high cholesterol.

Well, no one lives forever, right?

No, they do not.

- Anyway, I'll let you get back to it.
- Okay.

- Ciao.
- Ciao?

You have a coworker
who says "ciao" unironically,

and I don't think he's Italian lineage.

Stop it, he's nice.

I know he is. I'm just kidding.

I have to go.
I need to be in Lockwood in 20 minutes.

Jill will take very good care of you.

- Okay?
- Okay, do what you need to do.

And Jill and I will hold down the fort.

You look really good, you know?

Whatever you're doing, keep doing it.

Grazie.

I can't make it through the month
on three tanks.

You know, nobody wants a Mylar unicorn
that can't float.

You want the tanks or not?

All right, just put it there
and take the empties.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Hello.

Stranger bearing gifts.

Wow. Okay, this looks real.

It's real. 100K as requested.

First stop, tournament this Sunday,
outside Deerville, Kentucky.

We're gonna ease back
into competitive play.

- Uh-huh. Okay.
- Okay. I'll pick you up on Saturday.

Are you gonna quit today?
'Cause I don't wanna miss it if you, like...

- No, no.
- ...do something crazy,

like turn over a desk
or tell someone to go to hell.

- No, I'm...
- No, that's not your style.

Okay. All right. See you Saturday.

Bye.

You awake yet?

Santi?

Santi?

Santi?

Haven't seen you hit in a long time.

So...

So, I'm going to the bank

to deposit Pryce's check.

Okay.

You sure about this?

You know, going on the road,
and playing again?

I'm sure.

Santi...

I cash this check...

And if you're not sure about it...

I'm gonna give this money back.

- Seriously, we don't have to do this.
- Mami?

- No, we don't have to.
- Mami?

- Even if you think that this is...
- Mom.

I'm pumped about this.

'Cause it's $100,000, baby.

Look at this.

You ever been fitted for clubs?

No, sir.

Okay, here are some of the numbers
I'm gonna be looking at today.

Club path, spin rate, attack angle...

- Wait. Pryce, look.
- ...etcetera.

- What?
- Maybe I don't need new woods after all.

- Look at this.
- Good one.

Let's go, come on. It's time to play golf.

Okay, warm up a little bit
so we get a baseline.

I don't need to warm up.

Hey, Rahm warms up.

McIlroy warms up.

- Everyone warms up.
- Yeah, 'cause they're old.

Okay, slick. Let 'er rip.

Yeah, who needs warm-up?

Great. That's a keeper.
Put that one aside.

Lob city.

Like a butterfly just landing.

They could've shown a movie
on that flight.

Okay, let's change it up. New course.

Let's up the degree of difficulty a bit,
see how you do.

No.

Okay, not your best.

That's okay.

Come on, we're just testing 'em out.

Try again.

- No.
- You can't dress that one up.

That's a bad one.

Are you fucking kidding me?

What was that?

You ever hear of Willy Grossweiner?

Is that your porn name?

No. Pryce Bangin'. That's my porn name.

Grossweiner was a guy
I played with at Q-school,

and he had a superpower on the course.

He didn't care about his last shot.

And he wasn't worried about
where his next shot was gonna land.

All this guy was focused on
was his swing in the moment.

It's like he knew that was the only thing
he could control.

So I call it "Grossweiner's Law."

Here. See, on the first course
you were lights-out.

Eighty-one percent of fairways hit.

That's better than the tour average.

But when we switched it to Eden Prairie,
it was a different story.

As soon as you found trouble,

ball dispersion was all over the place.

You got stuck in a bad spot
because you couldn't get outta your head.

You need to find your inner Grossweiner.

- Hey.
- So, Mrs. Wheeler,

why don't you give me an idea
of what your financial goals are?

Making money.

Specifically lots of money.

And what's the status of your portfolio
at this point?

Below four figures.

Retirement accounts? 401(k), IRA?

Starting late but starting strong.

Well, then, let's start low-risk.

Our AIP returns
five-to-eight percent annually...

Well, no, no.

I mean,
I want to be more aggressive than that.

Financial markets are very complicated.

No, I'm fully aware. Oh, yeah.

I'm looking for the hole in the market.
You know what I mean?

Like, something overlooked.

For instance... Helium.

- Helium?
- I know for a fact there's a shortage.

I have inside information
because of my job.

- That's illegal.
- No, no.

I'm just, you know...

I can't get my unicorns to float.

- Mrs. Wheeler...
- So...

- ...sorry to cut you off...
- No.

...but I have to advise you
to take a different tack with this money.

I applaud your ambition, I really do,

but you can't be willy-nilly
about something like this.

I've seen people
make some catastrophic mistakes,

chasing the next GameStop or whatever, so...

I don't have a penis.

- Excuse me?
- No, I'm just reminding myself.

'Cause if I did have a penis,

I don't think you would be
talking to me in that tone.

Or putting that face on your face.

Trying to upsell me your bank's portfolio.

Full of hidden fees,
and below the market returns.

No. Uy, no.

- Have you seen Pretty Woman?
- No.

I always wanted to do this.
Do you work on commission?

- Yes.
- Big mistake. Big. Huge.

There's enough bang in there
to blow us all to Jesus.

- What?
- Hurt Locker. You ever see that?

You gotta see it. It's a classic.

Thanks for the clubs, Pryce.

Like, for real.

A serious player needs serious clubs.
And those are serious.

Hey, we stand at the threshold
of world domination.

Our march towards greatness begins today.

I don't know the movie, man.

Not a movie. Just me talking.

See you tomorrow.

My little pretty one, pretty one

When you gonna give me
Some time, Sharona

Will you make my motor run
My motor run

...line, Sharona

Are you kidding me?

How you doing?

I'm having a pretty good day.
I'd love to keep it rolling.

Unpaid parking tickets.
You're arresting me for that?

Thirty-two unpaid tickets, sir.

Bench warrant is a bench warrant.

You know, there are actual criminals
out there right now committing crimes

that you aren't catching because of this.

You know that, right?

You got someone you can call?

Hey, are these cuffs really necessary?

My skin chafes easily.

Okay. How am I gonna dial?

I can dial for you, sir.

All right, go to favorites
and hit "Puss Boy," please.

Puss Boy?

- It's a nickname.
- Yeah, I assumed it was a nickname.

Hey, leave a message.

Hey, Mittsy, it's me.

I need you to pick up.

I'm in jail.
And I need you to bail me out.

What? Who's that?

Hi, Pryce, it's Elena.

- Sorry to bother you.
- Hey!

Hey, Elena, hey.

- No, no. You only get one call.
- This is an incoming call.

It doesn't count.

You're not bothering me. How you doing?

Well, actually I'm a little anxious

about leaving on this trip tomorrow.

Sure, that's perfectly natural.

Listen, Elena, can I call you back
in just a little bit, please?

- Fucking punk ass bitch! Fuck you!
- Stop resisting, sir.

- Shut up.
- Excuse me?

What? No, that's not me. Sorry.

- Hang up.
- Am I on speaker?

Who else is on the phone?

It's Sergeant Sheffield, ma'am,

- from Fort Wayne PD.
- No.

Are you in a police station?

- No. I--
- Yes, he is.

Elena, can we talk about this tomorrow

when I pick you guys up?

- Does that sound like a good idea?
- Are you in jail?

- No, I--
- Yes, he is.

For the record, I'm not in jail yet.

- He's being processed.
- Right?

Yes. It's not a big deal.

Jail is not a big deal?

No, jail is a big deal.

It's very serious. It just so happens
in this instant, it's really not. It's...

Right? This isn't...

Hello, Elena?

Why would you do that?

Why would you
just pick up a call like that?

You see, this is why some people
think you guys are dicks.

I don't personally.

But you can see why some people do
when you do something like that.

You got somebody else you can call?

Jesus Christ, Pryce. What did you do?

You okay, pal?

What is he doing here?

Wait. Why are you two dressed
like it's prom?

We were at a function.

A function?

Ben was being given a Humanitas award
by the Kiwanis Club, which you ruined.

It's fine. You didn't ruin it.

It's not fine. And you did ruin it.

Your ability to find new ways to fuck up
boggles my mind.

- Arrested.
- It was an administrative error.

What, are you two dating?

It's always someone else's fault.

"It's an administrative error."

- Hey.
- "The ball took a bad bounce."

"The Dyson got stuck on my dick."

When are you gonna start
taking responsibility for your own shit?

Take it easy on him, honey.
He's had a tough night.

Wait. Why is Ben Putman calling you honey?

Are you two together?

Yes. We're on a date, okay?

Bento Ben?

You're dating Bento Ben?

You have a nickname for me?

For how long?

Six months.

I was gonna tell you the other day,

but you were doing so good
I didn't wanna ruin it.

Bento Ben,
who says "ciao" when he leaves a room?

I don't always say that.

I don't wanna do this right now.

You're out of jail. You're welcome.

I hope we can still be buddies.
I don't want this--

Ben, please, just shut up.

- Ben.
- Yeah?

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

I've had a really bad night.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Six months they've been seeing each other.

I mean, can you believe that?

Of course I can believe it.
You've been separated for years.

I mean, what do you expect her to do?
She's moving on.

I know, but with that guy? I mean...

- You said that guy was a nice guy.
- I thought he was, but he tricked me.

Look, it's not like you haven't
dated other people.

Like a lot of other people.

I mean, you were pretty serious
about that one woman who...

who keyed your car.
I liked her. What was her name?

- Beatrice. Yeah, I thought she was great.
- Right.

But that...
Come on, that was a fling. That's...

We weren't bringing each other,
you know, bento boxes.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

She said I looked good.

Who?

Amber-Linn. The other day.

So what? That's great,
that's a nice thing.

- What's wrong with that?
- Nothing's wrong with it.

Except maybe I'm not doing well.

Maybe I'm doing the opposite.

Maybe this thing with Santi,
that's like the only thing I got.

And if it doesn't work out with this kid,
then where am I?

Then it's like I got nothing.

Okay, so...

if he's gonna make the final match
at the US Amateur,

he's gonna have to play nine rounds
at Eden Prairie over seven days.

He's not gonna make it if every shot's

- like a fucking roller coaster.
- Yeah, I know.

He's gotta learn how
to control his emotions.

All right? He casts at the top
of his swing,

which destroys his accuracy.

Under pressure,
that's just not gonna cut it, man.

So, we gotta fix that.

Wait, what'd you say?

I said, under pressure,
that's not gonna cut it.

No. You said "we".

- I did?
- You can't take that back.

That was like Butch and Sundance "we."

Like Thelma and Louise.
Like Turner and Hooch.

You know all those characters die, right?

- No, they don't. Hooch lives.
- Yes. No.

Hooch takes a bullet
and bleeds out at the end.

Really? Why? That's so unnecessary.

Well, that's what happened.

Be honest.
Will you come with us on the road?

Yes, yes.

Yes! Finally!

Finally, we get some good news. A win!

See, it doesn't have
to be all darkness, Mitts.

Sometimes there can be a little light.

And I'm right about this kid. Aren't I?
There is something special about him.

I'm not imagining that.

Yes, okay, he's special.

And you're driving the bus.
Okay, 'cause with you behind the wheel,

it turns into a magic bus.

You know what song I'm hearing right now?

- What, "Magic Bus"?
- No, "The Boys Are Back In Town."

"And if they wanna fight
you better let 'em." Come on!

Hey, let's do it. You ready to roll?

We're not going.

What do you mean? We're all set.

Look. We got the beverages.

We got the snacks.
Come on, we're born to run.

My mom told me
that you got arrested last night.

- So, she told me to give you this.
- No, hold on.

Yeah, technically I was arrested.
And it was no big deal.

Let me explain
to your mother what happened.

Pryce, she doesn't want you
to explain it to her. Take this.

Santi, wait a second.

Unpaid parking tickets,
that's what I got arrested for.

You can get arrested for parking tickets?

I know. It's like jaywalking or something.
It's ridiculous.

- How many?
- Thirty-two.

What is wrong with you, man?

I was a little too casual
with my parking choices.

I made a mistake.
Let me explain it to your mom.

Look, I don't know what to tell you.
She doesn't wanna talk to you.

I mean, do you want this? I want this.

I mean, if this is important to you,
then you talk to her.

It was parking tickets.

- What did he say?
- He wouldn't take the check.

He's still out there?

Mami, Mami... parking tickets.

- That's why he was in jail.
- Uh-huh.

- It was for parking tickets. Wait.
- Parking tickets.

Mami, what are you doing?

No, he's not a criminal.
He's an idiot, but he's not a criminal.

I know you're disappointed and everything...
you know, it's my fault.

Because I didn't think this through.

- No.
- You need stability in your life.

We have a good place here.

- And I have a good job.
- You hate your job.

No, I hate parts of my job.
I don't expect you to understand,

but if something happens to you,
I'm never gonna forgive myself.

Mom, you've never forgiven yourself
for anything.

- And nothing bad is gonna happen.
- We don't know this guy.

- You have unpaid parking tickets!
- It's different!

- Hey, hey!
- No, it's not!

Stop packing my unpacking.

All of this is just an excuse.

Hey.

I know you're scared.

That is awesome, dude.
What is that, a 37-footer?

My wife and I went to Utah in May.
We rented one. Think it was a C-class.

Hey, pal.
I'm not really a chitchat kind of guy,

so why don't you just keep walking?

You're pretty rude, man.

Yes, I am.

- You shouldn't have to see me like this.
- No, Mami, it's okay.

No, it's not okay.

Not okay.

You know,

I've tried to make good decisions for us
ever since your dad left.

It's never good enough.

- Yeah.
- We're pacing ourselves.

Little by little,

- the chicken gets fed.
- Yeah.

No, I can't be, you know,
willy-nilly about something like this.

'Cause, no...

...a catastrophe.

No.

Have you ever heard of Willy Grossweiner?

- I'm not in the mood for dirty jokes.
- What?

No, no, no.

It's not a joke. He was a golfer.

And the thing that made him so good

was that he never thought
about the shot that he took before.

That was history.

And he wasn't worried about where
the ball was gonna end up after he hit it.

He couldn't control that.

The only thing that he could control
was his swing.

In the moment.

Mami,

Mami, sometimes we have to forget
about the things that have happened before

and not worry about what happens next.

Sometimes we just need to take the swing.

Hey.

Let's see where the ball lands.

It might be a great lie. We don't know.

We won't know unless we try.

- Shotgun.
- Yes!