Original subtitles

Alright, final item of the Galactic Defiance meeting...

our plan to take out the Gromflomite Queen.

-It is not ready for approval! -What did I just...

Quiet! We can be a Defiance without talking over each other!

Thank you. Corsica?

As it stands, our assassination task force

has yet to provide a clear plan...

We provide lots of plans.

Your committee keeps killing them.

Well, it's an assassination committee.

Whattaya want them to do?

All intelligence indicates it needs to be a surprise.

Which is why we need to plan it carefully.

Why don't we turn things over to our assassin, Beth Sanchez?

Great. It's an assassination meeting.

Where the hell is the assassin?

Beth. Where are you?!

Um, assassinating.

Are you insane? We're still in a meeting about this.

We've been meeting about it for months.

Is the plan to kill her with old age?

There is no plan. We still have to approve one.

Do you even look at your Defiance e-mail?

Who has the patience for three-factor authentication?

Beth!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

The Defiance says hello.

Or goodbye?

I mean, I guess the hello meant goodbye anyway,

but this guy beat me to it?

-Oh! -Oh, my God!

Who are you?! An assassin?

I mean, I wish.

Kill her!

Time to go.

Oh, shit.

Uh, hey, good news... the Queen is dead.

Bad news... I didn't do it. Worst news... I need a lift.

I can't approve an extraction

from an unapproved assassination.

I'll have to call an emergency meeting.

I'm going to die.

Aah!

Ughhh!

Whoa! You beat out Luigi's?!

Mm.

I'm hammering sushi. What's up?

Well, funny story,

or maybe not that funny.

Are you pitching a Hulu Original?

I-I kinda...

went rogue and now I'm trapped on a Gromflomite ship.

Send the coordinates. I'll pick you up.

Really? Just like that?

Of course just like that. You're my daughter, probably.

Jiro! Lava cake to go.

The lava cake was already ordered.

I can see it from here.

You don't have to explain.

Ya think it'd be easy to scan the only

warm-blooded thing on the ship.

We tried that once. Lotta rats in the walls.

Is that why the ship always has a "B" in the window?

-Huh? -Huh?

Hey! Freeze! You first.

Agh! Walked... right... into... it!

-Ah! -Wow, Beth.

You've been staying busy.

Oh, shit! It's Rick Sanchez!

Hey. My daughter is just as dangerous.

Wait, so the gun also shoots a sign?

Yeah, for clarity, so people know it's quicksand

and not a brown portal or diarrhea.

But doesn't the sign tip off the enemy?

No, no, the other side says "ordinary sand."

There she is!

Aw, what? Oh, oh, oh!

See, there's your classic diarrhea.

Ugh! Whatever. Can we go now?

Just portal me to HQ.

Actually, could you portal me, like, a block away?

So they don't know your dad drove you? Sure.

Okay, all in favor of Natalie thumbnailing

an emergency rescue budget?

-Oh! -Oh, whoops.

You're a prick.

Stop acting embarrassed. I'm a legend here.

Oh, hey, BugAnne. Hey, Rick.

Yes, it's disappointing

that the legend doesn't fall far from the tree.

Huh. That's a weird way to thank her and apologize. Dad!

Thank her for what? A botched assassination?

Whoa, whoa. I don't botch shit.

I just turned down sloppy seconds.

Yeah, their mothership wasn't on red alert for her birthday.

You sure about that?

Red alert for the Queen's birthday!

That's right, Her Majesty is 70 days young

but still laying eggs and banging drones.

You go, girl!

Yes, Queen. Space Beth: What? No.

I saw that bitch's pillow through her face.

A Sting Trooper did it. Why didn't they pin it on us?

Translation... ya botched.

-You can say that again. -Always botchin'!

-Nepo baby. -Excuse me?

Dad, stop helping.

This is the opposite of a nepo baby.

This is a human with half my DNA

that despises me for the same reasons you bailed on her.

This organization resents and discourages talent.

It's why working here was always beneath me,

and it's why none of you are worth eating her shit,

and if you don't start appreciating her,

I guarantee you, she'll be next out the door.

It was a good rescue, though. You got me fired!

Only because you blew your chance to quit!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I really hope I am the clone

because I never asked to be born.

I can't handle watching you host those parasites.

Clone or not, that's still my blood in your veins.

Yeah, I know. I'm trying to overcome that.

Ouch. Oh, boo-hoo.

Whatever. Drop me off in space.

What are you going to do?

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this inside hit on the Queen.

I-I know a guy that knows a guy

that knows some bugs.

Look, I gotta drop you off somewhere.

It might as well be the filth-encrusted apartment

of an insect-supremacist arms dealer.

Fiiine.

I thought you were dropping me off.

I gotta make sure it's the right supremacist.

They all look alike.

Aah! Hey! No mammals allowed!

That's our guy. Oh, shit, fuck!

Guh. Oh! Oh, hey.

I-I didn't mean that about mammals.

You're... You're clearly a good one.

She is. She's very interested in insect politics.

Um, actually, there's no such thing

because insects are genetically inclined for organization...

Ohhhh! Ah!

So tell us which insect organized a hit on the Queen.

I dunno. You guys kinda proved you're not gonna let me fall...

Aaahhhh!

Aaah! Aah! Oh, God. Oh, Jesus.

Talk. You're just gonna...

Aaaaagghh!

Aaah! Oh. Alright, alright! Shit!

It was Fantabulous!

The former Royal Doctor!

Wait. The medical officer?

That's all I know, I swear!

Is it, though?

Oh, God! Aaaahhhhh!

Dad? He said that's all he knew.

I'm a mammal. I'm disorganized.

I've heard of that doctor, though.

Classic disgraced eugenicist trope.

You can get disgraced for eugenics by insects?

I suppose he had a gift.

Did he have an address?

Hi. Don't be afraid to surrender.

Yeah, you can even join us as an unlikely ally.

I don't know what that is.

I can explain.

Does your bug culture have ghosts? Yes.

Has it had any hit movies about busting ghosts

successful enough to generate sequels and cartoons?

Of course.

Well, an unlikely ally would be like a ghost

that hangs out with the ghostbusters.

Okay, that is the most offensive job offer I've ever received.

More offensive than death?

Good luck with that.

Wait, so he's too cool to be a Slimer,

but he's asthmatic?

Aah!

Aah!

That's... new.

A super-soldier formula?

I said "new" not "creatively trailblazing."

Ugh!

Ah!

Aah! Jesus Christ.

I hope killing these things is leveling us up.

It's some kind of suped-up fungus.

What? Should we be wearing masks?

Nah, we're fine. It's a bug problem.

These little guys don't affect mammals.

Why would they?

It's a highly evolved symbiote.

Its goal is galactic domination,

so why would it want to be hosted by shit-flinging monkeys

from a planet named after dirt?

Wow! We're disease bragging now?

That fungus is no disease. It's the cure.

My species has been wasting away for generations.

We're being led by a... Yeah, yeah.

Millennials killed Blockbuster Video.

Just tell my daughter why you whacked your own queen.

Her Majesty refused to distribute my medicine.

So I had her killed in secret

and replaced with a robot Queen who will.

All of Gromflom One will gather for her birthday,

and all will receive a gift!

That's not how birthdays work, dipshit.

How about this for a birthday?

Close airlock seven!

You really don't know me, do you?

And you don't know me.

Or the various sizes of bugs!

Ultromflomites, attack!

Behold the Gromflomites of the future.

Soon we will reign again!

He's getting away!

And living rent-free in your head!

Whoa!

Ahh! Ugh!

Ah, so much for my fucking break.

Aah!

Toro, toro!

Olé!

What was that "rent-free in your head" shit?

It's dumb people saying something meaningless

'cause they've learned a new phrase.

It just means you're thinking about something!

Focus, Dad! The queen is a spore bomb.

Ooh, you better call the Defiance.

Why, so they can form a committee?

You don't want your old job back?

No, Dad, the Defiance sucks,

but that doctor keeps trying to kill me,

he is not getting the "W."

Oh, God. I'm turning into my father.

That's all you had to say, partner.

Alright, should be pretty easy.

We get in undetected, find the spore bomb,

and portal it out of there. Step one...

we blend in as bugs working for

the Department of Transportation.

My guy Cisco will be at the back door at 7:00 a.m.

-Who's Cisco? -My inside man. Don't worry.

Okay, but what if he doesn't show up?

What's that supposed to mean? You don't even know Cisco.

Which is very concerning

since this plan seems very dependent on him.

-So let me finish the plan. -Fine.

Step two... Cisco provides us with security credentials

for the maintenance tunnels.

And if he doesn't show, what's our backup plan?

I use Cisco so that I don't need a backup plan.

What's that?

We ordered food, remember?

I've never heard of this Cisco guy in my life

and all of a sudden he's the most reliable person ever born.

Maybe I work with more reliable people than you.

Make sure my fries are there.

Thank you. Oh, wait, are there fries?

Oh, okay, I see them. Thank you.

Where were we? Step three...

we quickly and quietly patch into the surveillance grid.

Wait. How 'd we get there?

With the credentials we got from Cisco.

So in other words, if Cisco...

Cisco has never not shown up!

Can I just ask, what does someone have to do

to achieve the level of trust you place in this random man?

-I trust plenty of people. -Name two.

Uh, easy... Birdperson and Cisco.

Cisco's at the same level as Birdperson?!

Yeah. He listens to my plans.

Well, I guess I would, too,

if I was the pivotal goddamn participant.

That's all this is? You're jealous of Cisco?

I don't want to rely on him. If he doesn't show up at 7:00,

we're two humans in bug costumes banging on a door

until the cops find us, then we're running and gunning.

We're not going to be running or gunning

at any point in this plan.

It's gonna be you, me, and Cisco staying under the radar

and preventing a coronation catastrophe.

Oh, shit.

-Freeze! -Don't move!

Hands in the air! Huh.

I don't know what got into Cisco.

This may be unpopular, but the Queen was a bitch.

I mean, big deal, you had a billion kids.

Did you find them?

We're kinda hard to miss.

Stay back or die! Yeah! Listen to him.

Why?! She's infected!

Bullshit! She would've turned.

Ya think I normally look like this?!

I mean, maybe. I-I don't know you.

I need your labs, your data,

everything you've got on this thing.

Stop pointing a gun at me!

Stop pointing a gun at me!

Can... Can you cover your mouth?

So it's true? You're infected?

It obviously affects mammals slower,

but, yeah, it's jumped species.

Then perhaps in you lies the cure.

Was stepping from the shadows meant to give that more weight?

No, my pen rolled into the corner.

But even if you do cure it,

our scanners show a big, scary,

dramatic spore hive growing deep underground.

Real, you know, final-boss vibes.

They're building an ultra army.

Kinda what I just said,

but looks like we both need an antidote.

So, tenuous alliance?

Oh! Unlikely allies!

We got our Slimer!

Dad? Am I growing a...

horn?

Yeah. Uh, just relax. I'm working on it.

I can feel them... the hive...

Uh! Kinda funny, huh?

I hate working with others...

but now the collective is calling me...

Maybe send that shit to voicemail, sweetie.

Cadet, for your service,

the Federation stands scrung in scrung with you.

Yes!

Huh. Thought that would be it.

Don't sweat it. We're long on bugs and short on ethics.

I mean, if I gotta be fascist...

Ow! Shit! What the hell?

Oh, sorry, sorry,

I brought in my rotating math projector light.

Put it back in your decoration bin.

Aah!

Holy shit! You did it!

The projector helped!

Wait. Does this mean my family won't get paid?

I told them my death would pay for college.

Oh, you'll die.

You all die, eventually.

Look, I know it might suck to be my daughter sometimes,

but there are some perks to being related.

Ughhh... Dad...

Ugh. All right. I'm still human.

I like boobs. I like boob milk.

Oh, no. I-I like jelly.

I want nutritious jelly!

Agh! Ah, I want boob milk.

Ah, I like boobs.

Turn on the cash!

W-What? Never mind, I'll do it.

I'm cured, baby! Cured human Rick!

Oh, shit. Sorry, Beth. Daddy's coming!

Damn. Small attack squad.

You killed a lot of us.

Well, who else would be down for this?

I mean, it is "bring your daughter to work" day.

"Bring your daughter to work day"?

It's my work, Dad.

You were sitting on that one for the last six hours?

Thank you, Rick.

It is rare to find something Bird Daughter likes.

Mask up, boys!

These puppies have triple spore filters.

Should keep us fungus-free.

Time to deliver the payload.

Is the payload a bomb or a cure?

Who cares? It's a payload.

I think it's time we remove Gene from the text thread.

You can't respond. It only feeds the beast.

Speaking of beasts, I see you are parenting as well.

Oh, she called me.

I'm trying not to blow it.

You and me both.

This way.

She led us into a trap!

What trap?! Didn't you want to die?

Protect the payload!

-Aaaah! -Aaah!

Yes! Yes! I'm gonna be dead!

Bug State, here my son comes!

L-Let's all make an effort to check

on that guy's kid in college.

Bug pact!

Aww, look at that.

I think she is having a good time.

Don't start celebrating yet.

Let's fucking goooooooooo!

She gets it from her mother.

Glad you picked up my call, Dad.

Uh, glad you called.

We don't have to do it all the time.

Oh!

General! Aah! No, no, no!

Check out the scrung on this guy! Ha, ha!

Now you've got it!

This fucking guy?

Yes! It's me again!

I warned you I had different-sized bugs.

That was foreshadowing. Every hive needs a mind.

And in those minds will be me, paying no rent at all.

I might even charge rent!

Quite a birthday, no?

This guy's brain is cooked.

Attack!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, shit!

Oh, oh, moving fast!

Smash!

Beth!

Ah!

You can cut all the heads off you like!

You'll never be rid of me!

Agh! What! No! Stop laughing, you idiot!

Oh! Oh, shit!

Put me back on top! Put me back on top!

Agh! God! Not like that!

No! Who said you could bring a payload in here?!

General Ronkonkomus Joe: Move, move, move!

No one gets to say the phrase "rent free" after I die.

It dies with me.

I did everything you could do with it!

Aaah! Rent free! Rent freeeee!

Ugh!

So, can I kill these guys? Is the truce over?

I don't know. Is it?

Perhaps we Gromflomites can change...

without having to transform into giant monsters.

I'm sure the Defiance would be interested in that.

Get a room.

Ha. Ha. I had fun.

Today I am proud to honor heroes from both sides

on what will forever mark the dawn of a new age.

Not that we're gonna be doing this every week.

I mean, hopefully never again actually.

Congratulations.

The Defiance owes you two a debt of gratitude.

Rick, pretty cool to see you working with your daughter.

Pretty... hot.

Uh, oh, okay. Y-yeah. Yeah.

Please don't fuck my co-workers.

Uh, hey, you called me.

Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

Oh, shit!

Cisco, what's wrong, baby?

Remember the space guy who paid me all that money

to do that thing?! Yeah.

Well, I missed the goddamn thing!

Did the space guy know you had a drug problem?

Well, I-I didn't before I met you, Sandy!

Hey!

Aw, sorry. I shouldn't blame you.

It's okay.

More drugs?

Yes, please.

Did you get any of that?