Original subtitles

Sometimes the world looks perfect

Sometimes you just get a feeling

Like you need some kind of change

Standing tall on the wings of my dream

The rain and thunder

The wind and haze

I'm bound for better days

It's my life and my dream

Nothing's gonna stop me now

Nothing's gonna stop me now

Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?

Cousin, this is the greatest day of my life!

Even greater than the day I bought

my first pair of Levi's for men

with just a skosh more room.

What happened?

Today I am in love!

You fell in love during your lunch break?

Where is this restaurant?

She the girl I tell you about from my American history class.

Yes, the one you've been worshiping from afar.

That's when she sit way on the other side of the class.

But I... I notice her because she's a poor

shy, little creature huddled in the corner.

But last night, the teacher put us together

and she begin to open up like a little flower.

Oh, that's nice.

And then today, we had to have lunch to discuss

the term paper we have to write.

And she confessed to me

that she has had secret feeling for me too.

And it's just like the great Jiminy Cricket said...

Fairy tales can come true

It could happen to you

That's Frank Sinatra.

I think Jiminy Cricket said...

When you wish upon a star

Makes no difference who you are

When you wish

Upon a star Upon a star

Your dreams come true Your dreams come true

Balki, you're in love!

Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you.

Can I buy something before the next chorus?

Thank you. Oh, well...

Cousin? Hmm.

I guess so.

We bachelors have to help each other out.

I'll just say a quick hello and make myself scarce

so you can be alone, huh?

I'm not going to be alone. Carol will be with me.

Okay, here's how it works.

When Carol gets here, you'll introduce me

and then I'll go to the movie.

Now, the movie gets out at 10:50.

If I get back and the curtain is drawn

I'll go to the coffee shop and call you

letting it ring once.

to finish any,

you know, unfinished business.

Got it?

I had no idea my date would make your life so complicated.

Don't worry about it.

What's this?

Zingers,

Ding Dongs,

candy-coated corns.

And I don't know what you call these

No deposit, no return.

Are these what I think they are?

Balki, give me the lips. Uh-uh.

Give me the lips. Uh-uh.

Give me the lips Hmm.

Believe me, wax lips do not a romantic evening make.

Okay, I'll give you...

And here's Carol.

Hi, Balki.

Hi, Carol. Hi.

This... This is my cousin, Larry.

Hi, Carol.

Oh! What is that that you're wearing?

Well, I'm wearing my shirt and...

And my suspenders and my Spider-Man underwear.

I... I meant your cologne.

No wonder all the girls at school are crazy about you.

Oh!

Tell me something I don't know.

Okay, you come here and sit down.

And Cousin Larry will make some small talk with you

so that he can go to a movie and leave us alone.

Uh, so, um, you're in Balki's history class?

Uh-huh. Hmm.

I hate history.

But I have to take it to get my high school diploma.

Hey, isn't Balki a great guy

Yeah.

But let's talk about you.

I hear you're a photographer.

Oh, yes, I am.

Can you get me into a modeling agency?

Well, I... I...

Nudity is no problem.

Balki?

Anyone for some uncola?

No, thanks. I better be running.

But... But Carol, we have to put our notes together

so we can start writing our term paper.

Oh. Uh...

I... I meant to tell you.

My mother is in the hospital and... And she needs me.

You understand?

So run away, child, and don't look back.

Don't worry. I put our notes together

and next time, we start writing.

Oh, Balki.

You're the best study partner a girl could have.

And I just wove you to death.

Uh, here, my notes.

Uh, well, I better be running.

Cab's waiting.

Isn't she wonderful?

Uh, Balki... I can't help noticing that I'm here

and she's not.

Well, of course not. Her mother is in the hospital.

She looked a little overdressed

for a hospital visit, don't you think?

Well, her mother is probably in a very nice hospital.

Well, it looked to me like she was dressed up for a date

Oh, cousin, that is not possible.

You hear-ed her.

She woves me to death.

Is wove the same thing as love

or is there something wrong with her tongue?

It's forked.

Balki, in Madison, I knew a girl like Carol.

Her name was Misty.

She was in my algebra class. I was very good in algebra.

Of course I was, it had nothing to do with life.

I started going around telling everyone how much in love we were.

But it turned out they were just laughing behind my back

because they knew that she was just using me to get a good grade.

Misty got her A and then she dumped me.

Really broke my heart.

You see what I'm getting at?

Well, of course I do. Don't be ridiculous, yes?

Balki... Balki, Carol is using you to do her work

and when the class is over, she won't remember your name.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that Carol is using me to do her work

and that when the class is over, she won't remember my name?

Yes.

Oh. Popo.

What popo?

Popo.

You haven't had a date in four weeks' and then Balki,

the immigrant sheepherder who doesn't even know what fork to eat his soup with

comes home with a beautiful woman

and I think that you're just a little bit blue with envy.

Uh, that's green with envy and I don't believe I am.

Well, I don't think you would have mind so much

if I bring home someone who had been beaten with the ugly rock.

Stick, stick. Ugly stick.

And I... I am just trying to help you.

Jealous, jealous, jealous.

Oh. Me, jealous?

You got that right, Mr. Lonely Guy.

All right.

I tried.

If you don't wanna listen to me, fine.

But when she breaks your heart, and she will,

just remember, I tried to warn you.

Come on.

I got new batteries. What more do you want?

Cousin. Balki?

Oh.

Cousin, before I tell you what I am going to tell you

I want to tell you that last night

Carol told me she loved me, again.

Oh, she's gone all the way

from wove to love in two weeks.

That's real progress.

Cousin, I want you to like her better

because tonight the last class

and after we hand in our term paper

I'm going to pop the question.

What, Balki, you're gonna ask her to marry you?

Well, of course not. Don't be ridiculous.

I'm going to pop the question.

That's what "pop the question" means.

Oh, then, I'm not gonna do that.

What is it on Happy Days reruns

when Richie Cunningham gives a girl his class ring?

That's going steady.

I'm going to ask her to go steady.

Well, it's your life, and it's your class ring.

You don't have a class ring.

I do have this.

My great-grandnana's emerald brooch.

Is that real? Well, of course it is.

It's been in my family for 200 years.

Every firstborn Bartokomous son

give it to the woman who steals his heart.

You're gonna give that to Carol?

You don't think she like it?

Oh, she'll wove it.

All the way to the pawnshop.

Hey, give me that. No.

Balki, give me that pin.

I don't think so.

I just wanna see it, I've heard so much about it.

I just mentioned it for the first time.

Well, yes, that's when I heard so much about it.

May I see it, please?

I'll give it right back.

Do you promise? I promise.

Are you crazy?

Give me that.

You're gonna give a family heirloom to that barracuda?

You tricked Balki.

Give me Nana's pin.

No, I won't give you Nana's pin.

Will you give me that?

No, no. Ow! Ow!

What's the matter

Ow! It is sticking me.

Oh. Ow! Mmm.

Ooh. Ow. Ooh.

all right, put me down.

Give me the pin. No.

I can't stop you from asking Carol to go steady,

but just let me keep the pin for a day.

If you ask her to go steady and she says yes

then I'll give you back the pin

Cousin, she loves me.

I don't know why you can't believe that.

I don't need the pin, and I don't need your apologies.

I want your blessing.

Honest to God, I hope I am wrong about Carol.

Are you sure this woman is going to hurt Balki that badly?

Am I sure?

I've been there.

When he comes through that door

Oh, he'll pretend everything's all right while you're here.

But as soon as you leave

he'll open up, pour his poor, pitiful heart out.

I'll comfort him.

I've got some tissues.

The ice cream will cheer him up.

A little.

And then he'll sleep a dreamless sleep

with his arms around Dimitri.

Gosh! You're a great friend.

I can be more than a friend, Jennifer.

Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

Ta, da, da, da, da

Ta, da, da, da, da

Oh, Carol

Don't let him steal your heart away

Pa, ow, ow

* I'm gonna learn to dance if it takes me all night and day

Wax lips! Let's party.

Ta, da, da, da

Ta, da, da, da

You were right, he's devastated.

Good luck.

all night and day

You can't dance I know you wish you could

I got my eyes on you baby cause you dance so good

Macadamia nut ice cream, my favorite!

But I'm too excited to eat!

What happened tonight?

She didn't break up with you? Nope.

You asked her to go steady? Yep.

And she said? Yep.

You asked Carol Mosley, the same girl that was here two weeks ago

to go steady with you, and she said yes?

You ain't just whistling Dixie cups.

This was the last night of class?

School is over? Uh-huh.

Well, Balki, what can I say?

I... I... I made a big, big mistake. I am so sorry.

Here, please give this to Carol with my blessing.

And... I never should have taken it to begin with.

Cousin, it's okay. I'm too happy to be mad.

God, it was so beautiful

the... The way she tilted her head to the side

after I asked her to go steady and said,

"You and me go steady? That's cute."

And then she was so happy that she burst out laughing.

Balki, exactly how did she laugh?

I... I mean, was it like...

Or was it like...

The first one again.

Well, I... It was more like the second one, but she don't point.

Why do ask?

After you asked her to go steady

did you make any plans for the future?

Oh, it's all we could talk about.

We are both bursting with joy.

She tell me that she will be very busy looking for a job

and also for a new apartment

because she's moving out of the building called Jack's Place.

Did she say something like

she was too busy to get together real soon?

Yes, and I told her I understand.

Did she also say she was gonna be getting a new phone

and she'd call you as soon as she had her new number?

Get out of the city! You were listening.

Oh, boy!

Balki...

I'm afraid this is really gonna hurt.

When a woman says she's too busy

that's her way of putting you off.

And when she says she's getting a new phone

she has no intention of giving you the number.

And Jack's Place is not the name of a building.

It's Jack's place.

But, cousin, she don't say any of those things.

Not in those words, but that's what she meant.

Why are you doing this again?

Why can't you just be happy for me?

What you saying is no true.

Balki, if you don't believe me, then just call her yourself.

Hello

Jack, may I speak to Carol, please.

I think her brother's probably named Jack.

Carol. Carol, this is Balki.

Do you want to go the movies tomorrow night?

Well, of course I remember that you said you were busy,

but... But it is Saturday.

Well... Well, yes, but...

Yes, but... But...

But... But I... I thought...

I thought we were...

Oh.

Okay. Goodbye, Carol.

I hope you have a nice life too.

Jack is not her brother.

I made a fool of myself.

You tried to warn me and I wouldn't listen.

Hey, you fell in love. There's nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes when you're in love, you... You can't think straight.

Take my word for it, the pain will go away.

When?

Well, not for a long, long time.

But it will go away.

Come on.

I am never

going to fall in love again.

Sure you will. No, I won't.

I don't want to. It hurts too much.

But Carol was just not the right girl for you.

She wasn't good enough for you.

And somewhere out there

is somebody who's... Who's right for you.

Somebody who's worthy of wearing your nana's brooch.

And you'll fall in love with her

and she'll fall in love with you.

I'm glad you're here.

Here.

I bought four gallons.