Original subtitles

[INTRO MUSIC]

ANNOUNCER: And now, DreamWorks' "The Penguins of Madagascar."

[THEME MUSIC]

-Hit it!

[DANCE MUSIC]

[CAMERA CLICK]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[INTRO MUSIC]

RADIO: Yup, summer in NYC.

The heat goes on.

Temperatures expected to hit record highs again

today with no relief in sight.

-Sky Spirits, I vow to continue shaking my booty until you cry

your cool tears of rain down upon us.

Mort, shake a little more to the left.

Maurice, keep your arms up!

-Either I'm hallucinating, or the bouncy is melting.

-I am stroking.

The heat.

-We need some fresh dancing legs.

-Kowalski, how's that deck temperature looking?

-Let's see.

I would describe the surface as a searing inferno of agony.

-Poetic.

Private, what have we got between us and the water?

-I'm picking up some small patches of shade

at two, four, and six meters.

-Right.

Follow my lead.

And-- go!

[SHRIEKING]

-And-- go!

[SHRIEKING]

-Oh.

And-- go!

Now!

[SHRIEKING]

-Hey, birds!

I command you to join us in our rain dancing at once!

-Not much on rhythm, but gotta love the enthusiasm.

-I smell burning feet!

-Every man for himself!

-Uh-oh.

-Our water!

It's all gone.

-They've drained our entire pool!

-Those maniacs!

Do not ever get between a penguin and his water.

-Must swim.

Must swim.

Must swim.

-Never!

MARLENE: Uh, guys.

It's not just you.

They drained all the pools across the entire zoo.

[GASPING]

SKIPPER: Gentlemen, this is our destination.

The cool, clear, and refreshing water of the East River.

-It's-- it's like a storybook fairy tale.

-But, Skipper, can we make it with Alice watching?

-Nope.

Which is why she's leaving.

RADIO: We're giving away one all-expense

paid cruise to our third caller.

[DIAL TONE]

[RINGING]

RADIO: Congratulations.

You're our third caller.

That means you are the winner of a free weekend cruise.

-Huh?

What's that?

A free weekend cruise!

Uh, yeah.

OK.

I can do that.

SKIPPER: Bon voyage, Alice.

Looks like she'll be off our backs for the next three days.

-And look, that must be her substitute arriving now.

-Whatstitute?

-Officer X?

-Now apparently Zookeeper X. He's

come back to exact his revenge.

-Don't be ridiculous.

He's probably forgotten all about us by now.

-Hmm-- penguins.

-Uh-oh.

-Is everyone in position?

OK.

Now, do the thunder puma stomp.

And now do the termal shower shake.

Uh-huh.

Oh, yes.

Yes!

Yes!

It's working!

Ah, the sweet taste of raining water.

-Actually, that's just my sweat.

-OK.

That would explain the saltiness.

-Well, well, well.

It's the penguins.

I say that the four of you made just one

tiny mistake the last time we met.

You didn't finish me off.

-That's what I said.

-This time, I'm the one in charge.

So if you're thinking about making mischief,

you better think again.

Because you're all in my house now.

Oh, what's the matter?

You boys sweating a bit under the hot sun?

-Technically, penguins don't perspire so much as--

-Get used to it!

Because the sun is nothing compared to the heat

I'm bringing out of your feathered butts.

I am the Sahara in July.

I'm a five-alarm fury burning out of control.

I am molten magma mayhem.

-Hey, Skipper?

What about pudding?

What about the East River?

-Zookeeper X is going to be all over ups

every second of every day.

-Then we go at night.

-If we make it to Lex, we can catch the E train to the river.

-Rico, token us.

OFFICER X: Sorry, penguins.

But you birds are all catching the Officer

X-press to nowheres.

-Run!

-Skipper, what now?

RICO: Must swim!

Must swim!

-We dig.

-I just need to calculate precisely

where we should break through.

Huh?

OFFICER X: X marks the spot.

[LAUGHING]

RICO: Must swim!

Must swim!

-Not even Alice knows about this backup ventilation shaft.

OFFICER X: Allow me to blow your mind.

-X!

X!

X!

X again!

-I don't understand it.

-It's like he's always one step ahead of us.

-Yup.

-It seems I've turned your world upside down.

Hmm?

-Men, I've lost battles before.

That I can handle.

But he keeps zinging us with those one-liners.

I won't have it!

-Skipper, what are we going to do?

-Something very rash.

Something totally unexpected.

-According to this compass, the East River is due-- thataway!

[MUMBLING]

-Roger that.

Any sign of X?

-It's all clear, Skipper.

-And at 400 feet and climbing, I don't

think there's much chance at running into him.

We're home free.

-I guess you're right, Skipper.

You know, unless Officer X did something

like hide inside the pretzel cart before we took off.

Well, you have to admit it's kind of strange.

We ran all over the zoo gathering

supplies and didn't see Officer X. Not even once.

I'm just saying it's possible that Officer X could have

anticipated our plan and might have hidden in the cart's

pretzel department before we took off.

[LAUGHING]

-Why that has to be just the most ridiculous--

-You can't possibly imagine the statistical improbability that,

well--

-That Officer X-- the Officer X is hiding down there.

-Just inches below our very feet.

-Well, the very idea.

I mean it's-- it's just that it's so--

-It's so-- so-- so--

-So totally obvious!

Battlestations!

On three.

One, two-- I can't do it.

I mean what if he's really in there.

What if we at least start with one of those witty one-liners.

Probably something about pretzels.

-Something like I'll bet you never expected this twist.

-Exactly.

-Come on, now you're the ones being silly.

Look.

See for yourselves.

-Yeah, he's right.

There's nothing there.

-Nothing but pretzel salt.

OFFICER X: Evening, boys.

This is where I rub some salt into the wound.

-Mort, shift three inches to your left.

Maurice, grab Mort's tail.

Well, Sky Spirits?

Are we getting warmer here?

Give us a sign.

-Well, it's raining penguins.

I guess that's a sign.

-Skipper!

Help!

-Mort, did you just have the audacity

to kick your stinking foot into the sacred temple

of my royal buttocks?

Well, keep doing it!

Go, go!

Yes.

Kick me, Mort.

Harder!

To the left one.

Another right one.

Keep them coming.

It's working!

Yes!

Ouch.

Yes!

Ow.

Wait.

That last one kind of hurt a little bit.

-Of course.

It's the salt.

The sodium granules released from the pretzel cart

into the convective cloud layer must

have sparked a freezing nucleation reaction.

And boom!

Instant rain.

-Sky Spirits-- thank you.

Ow.

Thank you for this wonderful-- ow.

Mort, you can stop kicking me now.

Mort.

Mort!

Hello.

Maurice, will you get this maniac off my booty!

-Well, well, well.

Looks like I'm finally going to get my payback.

SKIPPER: Sorry, Loser X, but no sail.

Ha!

Zinger.

Gotcha.

-Home again, home again.

[SCREAMING]

-Well, Skipper.

I'd say mission accomplished.

-Yup.

And did you catch my no sail line.

You know, with the cash register?

Not a bad way to end.

[INTRO MUSIC]

KOWALSKI: Positive ID on deli owner.

Approaching the refrigerator.

-And?

-And?

-It's?

KOWALSKI: We have day old tuna salad.

[CHEERING]

-He's off to the store room.

Definitely a dump job.

-I can't believe people just throw away old tuna.

I mean what is salmonella anyway?

-I believe it's Italian for little salmon.

-Ah, a taste of the old country.

[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

-Kowalski, tuna extraction options?

-That skylight is our entry point.

I suggest the parasail.

Quick and silent.

[ZAPPING]

-With a slight chance of dancing the high voltage chacha.

-What?

Maybe that's just how I fly, all right?

-Is that really the safest approach?

-Psh, no.

But using wind and velocity calculations,

I've determined the ideal body shape for clear parasailing.

[NERVOUS SIGH]

[YELLING]

SKIPPER: Release Private!

Fly, you magnificent beast!

[SQUEALING]

-Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ha ha!

I made it.

-He's clear.

[CHEERING]

-Approaching skylight.

This is the greatest thrill of my life.

Ah!

-He missed it.

-No tuna!

I mean, Private's in danger?

-No, he's descending safely next door.

Kowalski, what's on the left of the deli?

-I believe that would be Madam Hilda's Training

School for Bad-tempered Rottweilers.

-Uh-oh.

[BARKING, SCREAMING]

[KNOCKING]

-Oh, my.

How did you get down there?

Never mind.

Come, come.

Let's have a look.

-Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

-Just bumps and bruises.

Don't worry, little one.

My new intern will take good care of you.

Shawna, your first patient is ready.

-Look at you, soldier.

Freshly decorated with combat souvenirs.

Who cares if we didn't get the tuna salad?

-Uh, me?

-Now you own your pain like a real man.

Sorry.

Seriously, couldn't be prouder.

-Funny.

I don't feel very manly.

-Knock, knock.

Oh, my gosh!

Aren't you just the cutest thing ever?

Cootchie-coo!

Oh, does that tickle.

You are so sweet.

-Oh, I wish this morning would never end.

-OK.

Back to the habitat.

-No!

Shawna!

-Hey!

What is it?

Let go of it!

This isn't a game, spa princess.

No more owies, no more hospital.

-Owies.

-Surprise!

-You really didn't have to do this.

[SHUSHING]

-Anything our wounded hero wants.

Today's your special day.

-(SINGING) Fishcake!

-Well actually, what I'd really like

is another crack at parachuting into the deli.

You know, get back on the horse.

Laugh in the face of danger and such.

[WHIMPERING]

-Skipper?

-Remember when I said I couldn't be any prouder?

I was wrong.

I was wrong!

-Release velocity achieved.

Go!

Skylight entrance in five, four, three--

-Oh, Shawna.

SKIPPER: Uh, Kowalski, what's on the right side of the deli?

I believe that would be Gunnerson's

House of Rusty Bear Traps.

-Oh, boy.

[SCREAMING, CLAMPING]

SHAWNA: Aw, back already?

Poor guy.

You must be the unluckiest animal in the zoo.

-Funny.

I feel like the luckiest penguin alive.

-All better.

Now let's hope I don't see you in here again.

-No power on Earth could keep me away.

PENGUINS: Surprise!

-What?

You made me another cake.

-Nope.

-Oh, um, no thanks.

You've earned some serious relaxation time, soldier.

-I've got magazines.

Oh, oh, this one has unicorns and quilting.

-Oh, any quilts with unicorns?

[GAWKING]

-No, no!

I insist on another tuna salad recovery mission.

I shall conquer or get moderately into trying.

-Private, are you sure you--

-Don't feed the boy your doubter's poison.

He has got to pummelled this bad luck streak into submission.

Anytime you're ready.

Private?

-Now's good.

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

-Whoa!

[BUZZING]

[GAWKING]

[GROANING]

-Frankly, boys, I;m starting to think Private's bad

luck streak may be unprominable.

-Egad!

-I know!

Tough word, right?

Unpomelable.

Try it.

-No, I mean egad!

Look at this.

Private's harness was cut before that last run.

This is no bad luck streak.

It's sabotage.

-Sabotage?

-Impossible.

No one else had access to that parasail.

The saboteur would have to be one of us.

-1-2-3 not it!

-Not it!

-What?

-Ah, he admits his guilt.

[MUMBLING]

-Oh, no I didn't.

You started it.

-Hey, Private.

Did you know Rico was secretly sabotaging-- what

in the name of corn-fed candy stripers?

-Seriously, is this like the eighth time today?

-I'm going to call you Mr. Butterflippers.

-I guess I just must be accident prone.

[GASPING]

-Air quotes.

The mime of insincerity.

He's lying.

-Sorry, compadre.

Looks like this was an inside job.

Inside Private's own puppy love-twisted brain.

-Be right back.

-Be right here.

Sighing longingly.

Ah!

-Accident prone, Private?

Oh, I've seen accident prone.

Try Manfredi and Johnson, with a Chinese lantern.

And six bottles of rocket fuel!

-Worst talent show ever.

-All right, I admit it.

I did it all to be was Shawna.

But you don't understand.

When Shawna bandages you, you're like an angel cake

being frosting by fairies.

-Uh, what?

-You know nothing about love.

-Oh, relax, young Private.

Actually we do understand.

-You-- you do?

-Of course.

Who hasn't gone stupid for a lady?

-Me.

-Guatemala?

Doris the Dolphin?

Don't make me show everyone the tattoo.

-(SOBBING) Doris.

-But the important thing is to take a deep breath.

Realise you've gone too far, and snap out of it!

-Yes, that does make a lot of sense.

No!

I'll never leave!

Shawna is my destiny.

[EXCLAIMS]

-Is this why my sweet little guy's been in the hospital

so much?

Are the other penguins bullying you?

Don't you dare.

-Oh!

[WHIMPERING]

-Easy.

I'm not going to hurt you.

-Sister, I'd like to see you-- OK,

the lady is not without her charm.

-Of course.

Avian insanity fever.

-Avian insanity?

Where'd she get that crackpot diagnosis?

[GROWLING]

-No problem.

A simple injection should mellow them out.

-Needle!

[MUMBLING]

-You call this mellow--

-(SLOWLY) Mama, I'm a pretty, pretty butterfly!

-Yeah.

-Aw, don't worry, sweetie.

You just say goodbye to those bullies.

You will never share a habitat with them again.

-Goodbye-- forever?

But-- but that's not what-- I didn't mean for--

-It's OK, Private.

All we want is for you to be happy.

-The thing is, Skipper, without you three I don't think I

could be.

Forgive me, Shawna, for that which I must do.

-Whew.

So we'll start quarantine procedures, and--

[MUMBLING]

-Ah!

OK, I'm just going to pout this mask back on

and take a teensy little check of-- huh?

-Baba-hooey!

[SHRIEKING]

-You've got it, too?

And I've been touching you all day?

-Avian insanity!

-Only contagious through saliva.

Well, I didn't get any of his spit on me.

-Hello.

-Ew!

[DOOR CLOSES]

-I'm sorry, Skipper.

-That was a noble sacrifice you made, Private.

Maybe it's just the medicine talking.

Are you naked?

Oh, we're all naked!

-Um, no.

-OK, it is medicine.

Anyway, forget what I said before.

This is the proudest I've ever been.

-She really was wonderful.

-And that's why you never beat yourself up over the lady.

Love has enough sting of its own.

-Almost forgot.

PRIVATE: Ow!

-Told ya.

[THEME MUSIC]