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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,760 So, this girl was riding me, right? 2 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,803 [audience laughter] 3 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,346 Right? 4 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,514 [laughs] 5 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:17,392 -Yeah, so she was riding me... -[scattered applause] 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,395 She said-- she said-- she said it was like... 7 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:24,441 -Late for a very important date. -You're not supposed to be back here. 8 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,193 I don't... I've never performed for this many people. 9 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,988 I'm honestly wondering  if I should just come back another time 10 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,990 or give up on comedy, or, like... 11 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,533 You're gonna be great. 12 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,037 And other uplifting things  that people say. 13 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,247 Wow, okay. Thanks. 14 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,875 I'm Amy Schumer. Thanks. 15 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,126 [applause] 16 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,547 Oh, man. 17 00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:49,049 Uh, one more time for Tyler. 18 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,216 -Yeah! -[applause] 19 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,801 Are you guys ready for your next comic? 20 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,179 -[whistling and cheering] -Yeah! All right! 21 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:56,806 Let's give it up for Pete Devine! 22 00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,850 [sighs] It's Devin. Devin. 23 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,852 -Okay. -Go! 24 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,188 No, I can't. Okay. 25 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:05,148 -What? -I'm gonna use the bathroom quickly. 26 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:07,442 -Big welcome-- Okay, all right... -Pete-- 27 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,153 -Fuck. -And Peter is... away. 28 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,530 Um, all right. Well, uh... 29 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:13,907 So I'm single. 30 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:15,784 Fuck. 31 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,703 -Fuck. Fuck. -[Tiff] Pete. Pete! 32 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:20,246 Don't make me run. 33 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,581 Stop. 34 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:24,918 I'm sorry. I'm-I'm sorry I made you come, and, like... 35 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,128 [sighs] Maybe I should just give up on this 36 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,798 and move home and become an accountant or something. 37 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,299 What's eight times eight? 38 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,551 A metaphorical accountant. 39 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,054 Look, what you do with me... 40 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,932 with the clients, that is fucking brave. 41 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:42,727 You walk into a room, you don't know  if you're gonna have to shit on someone. 42 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,313 You're a deranged person, but I appreciate the sentiment. 43 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,482 I'm serious. You're braver than you think. 44 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,652 I know that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have hired you. 45 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:52,654 [sighs] 46 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,241 -What do you masturbate to? -Tiff, can-- for one second-- 47 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,200 Just answer. 48 00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,869 [scoffs] I don't know, like... 49 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,831 the part in porn  where there's like... kissing. 50 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,543 Kissing? 51 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,796 Kissing, and fucking, and... 52 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,756 slobbering, and... 53 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:13,633 missionary, and all that. 54 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:16,719 Oh, come on.  You never masturbate to anything like... 55 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,055 weird or pervy? Like... 56 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,143 car crashes or Animal Planet? 57 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,770 -Or [gasps] your uncle? -No! Shh! No! 58 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,313 Your uncle is so hot! 59 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,983 Uncle Barry is very hot,  but I'm not gonna, like... 60 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,442 jack off to him. 61 00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:32,777 He's married. 62 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:35,947 Come on. 63 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:38,950 Feet. 64 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,203 -Feet! -Okay. 65 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:43,746 Okay, so you're a Foot Queen! 66 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,915 Shh. I wouldn't put it like that, okay? 67 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:47,542 Wow. 68 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,836 I've known you for 13 years 69 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,422 and I didn't know  you liked smelly, old feet. 70 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,425 I'm not, like, the president  of the Foot Club for Men, okay? 71 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,593 I mean, you could be. 72 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,429 Just one foot in front of the other. 73 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,639 Shut the foot up. 74 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,558 [laughs] This is stupid. 75 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,186 Why'd you ask me that? 76 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:09,898 Because when people masturbate, they want to zombie out, 77 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,400 even if it's for, like, a fucking second. 78 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,570 I wanted to make you feel better. 79 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,406 Did it work? 80 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,659 You made my heart come. 81 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,662 I made your soul jizz. 82 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:27,999 I'm still chickenshit though. 83 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,296 I have an idea. Come with me. 84 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,714 I hate your ideas. 85 00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,176 [whispering] Okay, okay, okay, okay. 86 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,552 I don't want to do this. 87 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,305 Just do what you did with Fred and give 'em hell. 88 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,766 Okay. 89 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:49,103 Hey! Okay. 90 00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:57,570 [Tiff] No. 91 00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,406 No negotiation. Peeing is extra, Fred. 92 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:02,283 Yeah. 93 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,118 -[bones crack] -Yeah. 94 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,288 Oh, and bring your own towel. I'm not a fucking gym. 95 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,625 Okay, I'll see you tonight. 96 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,421 [sighs] 97 00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:19,884 Everybody loves Freud, right? 98 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,679 I stan for Sigmund. 99 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,641 But y'all wrong. 100 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,688 Freud's fascination with sexuality 101 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,314 and role play 102 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,193 is a minefield  for ethical patient relationships. 103 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,781 Clients fall in love with their therapists. 104 00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:42,740 Why? 105 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:43,950 Think about it. 106 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:47,120 It's the first time  they're finally feeling cared for. 107 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,207 So, when we, you know, physicalize 108 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,377 the sub-conscience, à la Freud, 109 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,422 we enable that emotional transference, 110 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,590 and that, write this down, 111 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:03,511 is trouble spelled L-A-W suit. 112 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,765 But in your book, you say  that role play can be beneficial. 113 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,686 Thank you for mentioning my book. You get an A forever. 114 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,813 Actually, um, 115 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:16,899 he goes on to say that, though beneficial, 116 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:21,904 role play can re-traumatize the patient, causing more harm than good. 117 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:22,947 Money-shot, Kate! 118 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,657 It's raining A's in here. Hallelujah! 119 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,286 Well, what makes you right and everybody else wrong? 120 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,874 So, blow jobs are like... 121 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,668 the Airbnb of sex. Right? 122 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:39,714 It's a fun, temporary stay  as long as you clean up after yourself, 123 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,967 but anal is straight up... home-owning. 124 00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,762 You know, you're paying a mortgage, you're landscaping, 125 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,388 you're constantly fixing pipes. 126 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,766 -The mess is your mess. -Literally. 127 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,934 Well, in your case, you sloppy bitch. 128 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,311 [chuckles] 129 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,022 Hey. Cute waiter? 130 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:57,523 Hi. 131 00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,317 -Hi. -We have a question. 132 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:03,154 Is a blowjob full sex? 133 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:05,406 Um... 134 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,575 Blowjobs are not on the menu. 135 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:08,826 So... 136 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,371 [laughter] 137 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,831 Thank you. That's good to know. 138 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,500 -Mmm. -I was about to order one. 139 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,460 [Peter] Fucking idiot. You're so fucking stupid. 140 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:18,878 Next class... 141 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:23,299 we will start our thesis presentation. 142 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,426 Impress me, Goddammit. 143 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,931 And remember, my students, all talkie, no touchie. 144 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,016 Hey there, trouble bubble. 145 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:36,396 I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or whatever. 146 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,563 Or-- or not. 147 00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:42,110 Hi, I just wanted to say that I will gladly do my presentation first. 148 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,237 Hey, Miss Chester,  can I talk to you for a hot sec? 149 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,197 Hey, that's great, Kate. Thank you. 150 00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:51,035 Uh, I can't, Doug. I'm busy. 151 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,295 Hey. 152 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:02,713 Wanna... 153 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,590 explain that outburst? 154 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,053 Physicalizing role play can be a very... 155 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,638 energizing 156 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,557 psychological exercise... 157 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:13,975 in my experience. 158 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:15,685 What experience? 159 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,983 Little advice: you want to survive this... 160 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,651 creaky institution... 161 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,989 you need to have  professional boundaries, okay? 162 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,283 They're just-- they're like a necessary evil. 163 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,160 All right? 164 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:33,911 And... 165 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,913 being nice to your professor... 166 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:37,957 can get you far. 167 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:40,793 Okay? 168 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,383 [whispering] Come on, come on, come on. 169 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,177 [groans, unzips zipper] 170 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,263 [exhales] 171 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:57,477 Sometimes when I can't pee, I do a long division or sing "Happy Birthday." 172 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:03,191 I'll just wait here until you're gone and then crumple into a million pieces. 173 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,609 [chuckles] 174 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:06,986 [zips zipper] 175 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,030 My name's Josh. 176 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,073 I left my number on the check. 177 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,536 Nice dick, by the way. 178 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,580 [flushes] 179 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,502 And there it was,  his number, like, right on the check. 180 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,212 I'm fucking Meg Ryan. 181 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,296 Did you call him? 182 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,173 -Well... okay. -Ooh. 183 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,968 Ugh, I'm supposed to present on what kind of therapist I want to be, 184 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,053 and look at me. 185 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,180 Not exactly something  school would approve. 186 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:36,182 -[gasps] -Don't they know you're a dom? 187 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:40,144 Well, no, I don't really go around telling my professors about my sex work. 188 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,898 Secrets, secrets everywhere  and not a whip to drink. 189 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:45,733 There's a stigma, Pete. 190 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,985 A stigma that we have to eliminate. 191 00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:50,279 By not talking about it. 192 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,699 I'm the one teaching you about this job. 193 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,284 Not the other way around. 194 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,120 Complete the knot. 195 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:01,290 Oh, God. This is just like  Boy Scouts all over again. 196 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,048 So, is that like your maid, or... 197 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,342 He's a client. 198 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,927 You pay him to do this? 199 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:14,679 He pays me. 200 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,181 Watch this. Rolph! 201 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,852 The kitchen better be fucking spotless  or I'll chop your dick off, okay? 202 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,104 Yes, Mistress May. 203 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,648 Is he German? 204 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:26,566 See? 205 00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:28,985 I'm a full-service fantasy provider. 206 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,403 You're a fucking genius. 207 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,362 Look here. 208 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:36,576 Dom work is about much more than just hog-tying someone. 209 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,493 Ooh. 210 00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:38,744 It's all... 211 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,247 about the knot. 212 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,499 Oh, okay, ouch. 213 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,251 It's about the rope... 214 00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,587 pressing against the skin, 215 00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:51,966 becoming safer, but more dangerous with every... 216 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,218 ...Tug. You see, Pete, 217 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,054 masculinity is inherently constricting. 218 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,557 Expectations... 219 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:03,311 dominance and power, emotionlessness. 220 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,271 So... 221 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,941 men come to me to escape  this crippling societal prison. 222 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,068 Once the sexual patriarchy dies, 223 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,987 then all genders will be equal. 224 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:14,655 Wow. 225 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,325 -You should say that to your class. -Well... 226 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,743 It's not that easy. 227 00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:21,245 Everyone thinks dom work  is just about sex work. 228 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,581 It's really just liberation from shame. 229 00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:25,750 [exhales] 230 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:29,086 As the daughter of Born Again Christians, I can preach that. 231 00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,254 [chuckles] 232 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,255 Amen. 233 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,218 Uh, Tiff? A little help? 234 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,387 Oh. It's part of the lesson. 235 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:42,892 [Peter] Tiff! 236 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,479 What the fuck is this? 237 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:47,772 I-I don't know. 238 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:48,689 [Tiff sighs] 239 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,150 This place better be fucking spotless, Rolph. 240 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,443 -Yes, Mistress. -Move! 241 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:53,361 [Peter] Shit! 242 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,780 -Tiff! -Toodles! 243 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:57,907 Motherfuck! 244 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,075 [grunts] 245 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:01,744 [straining] 246 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:03,788 [groans] 247 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:08,793 Little help? 248 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,178 [footsteps approach] 249 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:22,264 Tiff, your consultation is here. 250 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:31,148 Okay, so I'm gonna go over a list  of questions pertaining to your needs, 251 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:35,069 and then we'll discuss pricing and how best I can be of service to you. 252 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,071 Wow-ee. 253 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,031 Sorry, this... 254 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,908 This is really a lot. [laughs] 255 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,952 [whispers] This is a lot. 256 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:43,869 It's a lot. 257 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,788 A lot of rubber. A lot of rubber. 258 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,290 I can't even look at that one, it's so big. 259 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,334 Makes me feel like... 260 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,086 ouch. [laughs] 261 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,671 -Or whatever. Okay. -Anyway... 262 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,131 Um, what brings you in today? 263 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,883 Oh! You know, it's actually-- it's not for me. It's... 264 00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,218 for... 265 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,095 [whispers] my husband. 266 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,015 -I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. -Sorry. 267 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,351 [clears throat] It's for my hus-- my hus-- 268 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,019 I can't hear you. 269 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,272 I just said it, the thing that you're asking me. 270 00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,482 -One more time. -[loudly] It's for my husband! 271 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:16,652 Good. 272 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,113 You can do this. You can do this. Hey, Jo-- 273 00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:20,823 Josh, hey, what's up? It's Pete. 274 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,200 Hey, Josh, it's Pete from the restaurant. 275 00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,453 Hey, just nothing much-- 276 00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,163 Carter! My funny friend. 277 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,122 Wait... 278 00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:30,666 Fred, are we doing a kidnapping tonight? 279 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:31,834 No no, no. 280 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,128 You're gonna pee on me. 281 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:35,045 [laughs] 282 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,298 Chug some water, baby boy. 283 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,427 Motherfrick. 284 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,680 Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm. 285 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,933 Hi, I am not peeing on Fred! Oh. 286 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,438 Well, look who got out  of his ropes course. 287 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,190 Sorry, I was just, um... 288 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,275 -Hi. Hi. -Daphne... 289 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,194 -Yes. -This is my assistant, Carter. 290 00:12:58,986 --> 00:12:59,820 Assistant. 291 00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:01,989 Professional. [chuckles] 292 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,785 Okay, well, you know, I-I-I have to go  pick up the girls from ballet. 293 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,286 So I'm gonna, um... 294 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,163 Uh, okay. Okay. 295 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:12,374 Bye. See you next week. 296 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,668 -I'm a mom. -Oh, fun. 297 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,589 Okay, who was that? 298 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,466 None of your business. 299 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,760 How come you never tell me anything? 300 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,346 Because if I told you  what we were gonna do before we did it, 301 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,598 -then you wouldn't do it. -Truth to power. 302 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,517 Now, help me with this tarp. 303 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,185 You're peeing on Fred. 304 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,729 But Tiff, I get pee shy. 305 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,689 Whoa. 306 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:44,907 This is not a criticism,  but I like it tighter than that. 307 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,659 Okay, just give me a second. 308 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,581 [humming] 309 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,462 I told my friends how funny you were. 310 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,173 You tell people about this? 311 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,384 Yeah. I'm not hurting anybody. 312 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,301 Mmm. 313 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:05,636 We are. 314 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,263 [laughs] 315 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,600 You are funny! I want to see you do stand up. 316 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,394 You gotta let me know  when your next gig is. 317 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,145 I'll let you know. [grunts] 318 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,064 -Oh! -Tight enough for you? 319 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,233 -Bamm-Bamm. -Okay. 320 00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,360 [sighs] Put this on. 321 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,238 Drink this. 322 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,325 Okay. 323 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,419 All right, where do you want it, Freddy? 324 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,714 Mouth? Legs? Tiny dick? 325 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,466 Lady's choice. 326 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,054 Why can't you do this? 327 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,932 He wants you to do it. It's a compliment. 328 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,267 I believe in you, Carter. 329 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,019 Thank you. 330 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,186 You got this. 331 00:14:58,856 --> 00:14:59,773 [sighs] 332 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,902 Okay. Fuck. 333 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,486 Jesus Christ. 334 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:12,328 [grunts] 335 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:31,430 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 336 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,892 ♪ Happy birthday to you... ♪ 337 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,227 ♪ Happy birthday... ♪ 338 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,146 [humming] 339 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,982 ♪ Happy birthday to... ♪ 340 00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,151 [Tiff whispering] What are you doing? 341 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,363 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 342 00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:50,699 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 343 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,743 ♪ Happy birthday... ♪ 344 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,245 I'm peeing! I'm peeing! 345 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,290 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 346 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,877 -[Fred laughs] -♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 347 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:05,297 [Tiff and Pete] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 348 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,216 ♪ Happy birthday... ♪ 349 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,385 ♪ You're... peeing! ♪ 350 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,138 ♪ Happy birthday to... ♪ 23838

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