Original subtitles

In high school, everyone's got that one magic moment, when all the fears and insecurities

of being a teenager just vanish in your on top of the world.

It's like the planets have aligned or something, and everything you touch just turns

to gold.

And then there's this other moment.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

This was unfortunate on two levels.

One, no one wants to get their balls cut off.

And two, we haven't even had the chance to use them yet.

Well, socially I mean.

[MUSIC]

It's about being able to make mistakes.

And when you're 17, you screw up a lot, but that's okay, seeing as people expect it.

I mean 99 times out of 100, they give you a free pass.

Well, this story is about number 100.

[MUSIC]

Let me go back to the beginning.

Now, it all started around my 17th birthday with our usual morning routine.

I'm a film appreciation.

Now, when I say film appreciation, I mean film duplication.

You see, Fred borrows them from his job at the video store.

Then Matt and the Xcopies them at school.

And I market them to me, refreshment.

>> My God is so bad.

>> Totally unwatchable.

This is really shouting work.

And she loves the boom mike is in the shot.

Why do they always show the guy's face?

>> Because they're trying to make us feel like we're better looking than that guy's.

We should be able to get chicks as hard as her.

Or the healthy you know.

The basic rule of partner.

It's okay.

All right, now $3 number seven is a modern class.

It's a great employment friend with a lot more than $20.

[MUSIC]

Matt's an aspiring filmmaker.

At the moment, he's a little unrepreciate it.

And he gets pushed around a lot, especially in gym class.

But he's still trying to develop his personal visual style.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> My God, it's not guys.

It's a door again.

>> Vusted.

[MUSIC]

>> Now you could say that Fred's problem is that he can't get up the nerve to talk to girls.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> The person only I think is just a self-confidence issue.

One that he's working in very hard.

Five, six, seven, eight times a day.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> [MUSIC]

>> Man, you're so good.

>> Yeah.

>> [LAUGH]

>> That's me, taking loose.

Now to understand why I let it stay on the wrong road, you have to imagine what it's like to be a 17 year old guy.

With only one thing in your mind, all day, every day.

But they have absolutely no way of getting it.

>> If you were all sitting here.

>> But your parents have signed your permission slips to attend my sexual education course.

I think we will begin with hormones.

>> [LAUGH]

>> Hey, what they can have picture of me.

>> I can see by your tittering.

>> Chair Horatio.

>> That a lot of you are uncomfortable.

>> Unballs with me.

>> The mail organ.

>> The mail organ.

>> The mail organ.

>> It's a very natural.

>> Yeah.

>> Was that rich in Rose and Rose party on the weekend?

>> I assure you.

>> Half of you.

>> Half of you.

>> Half of the bathroom.

>> The other half of you.

>> Half of vagina.

[LAUGH]

>> Mr. Lois, would you like to join us?

>> Thank you.

>> Back to the breast.

[MUSIC]

>> I absolutely refused to believe it.

Rachel told me she wasn't ready, but she did it with him.

Look at her face.

I was fed up with losing out and something had to be done.

>> [LAUGH]

>> You see that?

>> [INAUDIBLE]

>> That should be us.

>> That's not going to be us.

This year, next year, or any year.

>> Every night.

Think about it.

All you got to do is follow the simple lessons of Tony, Montana, and Scarface.

>> Good movie.

First you get the money.

Then you get the power.

Then you get the women.

>> Word.

>> So we're going to become Cuban drug lures.

>> The porno-pirity and operation is bringing in plenty of money.

>> And then once I get my new car for my birthday tonight, we'll have the power to go wherever we want.

And then there's nothing stopping us from getting the girls.

[MUSIC]

>> My spacer.

[LAUGH]

>> What a one.

>> Nothing's going to change, Deacon.

>> You're still going to be the kid who should have passed some fifth crate and no one will ever let you forget it.

>> [SOUND]

>> This is stomach virus, asshole.

>> Happy birthday!

>> Happy birthday!

[MUSIC]

>> Is that new computer system you've been talking about for months?

>> Arts.

>> Why did I rat-

>> Sorry, I ain't got excited.

>> Don't you like it, honey?

>> Yes, I do.

I do.

I'll take it.

Max.

>> Well, we can take it back if it's not the right one.

>> No, dad, no, no.

>> No, no, it's, I don't know.

I guess I just thought you guys are buying me that car I wanted.

>> The car, why do you need a car?

>> So you don't need a car, you can borrow the minivan anytime you want.

>> Right.

[MUSIC]

>> Tom Cooperman's party's been legendary.

But in the five, six years he was at our high school.

Never invited his voice.

>> Okay.

>> Cool.

>> Let's go on, man.

>> Come in.

>> No, actually, we're having a say on this man and everybody likes to keep it really

chill and if you don't believe in the dark powers then you can't come in.

>> Wait a second, man.

What?

It's my birthday today.

So, got me a little slack, right?

>> [LAUGH]

>> That's your birthday.

>> You guys, my best friend's are here.

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> Woo!

>> Nice to meet you, man.

>> Good, man.

>> You ready to sweat her, man?

>> Thank you.

>> You're doing a great job, boys.

And look what I have.

>> I'm back.

>> That's what I do.

>> You're making him.

>> All right, have a good time, man.

>> All right.

>> Where ever it is.

>> Like, he know what to do with the rubber.

>> [LAUGH]

>> My God.

>> That's now y'all on me.

[MUSIC]

>> Yeah, she looks good.

[MUSIC]

>> No, no, be your full mustache.

[MUSIC]

>> I'm gonna go talk to her.

>> I got to lose her.

>> Jesus, friend.

>> You're dignity.

>> God.

>> Don't talk to her.

Please.

[MUSIC]

>> Yummy.

>> Hey, Deacon.

>> Hey.

>> Where's Jake?

>> Like I care.

>> I mean, you're not going out with me anymore.

>> Uh, break it.

>> [LAUGH]

>> So, Naomi?

>> Yes.

>> Hey, come on, Naomi.

Come on to the pool.

>> Talking to Deacon.

[LAUGH]

[MUSIC]

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

>> Whatever.

[MUSIC]

>> Whatever.

[MUSIC]

>> Gee, we like so long.

>> Take.

>> Save up for a car selling $400 to $20 each.

[MUSIC]

>> What?

>> Here's a small problem.

>> What?

>> I got fired yesterday.

[LAUGH]

>> All right, Russ caught me and went for a stir.

It was crazy.

>> It was like some sort of sting operation he'd been planning for months.

>> You're kidding me.

>> Tell me you're kidding me, right?

>> I'm not kidding you.

And now, I gotta work twice a week at my dad's office.

>> See, I told you the scarf face plan was stupid.

>> This is great.

>> So now, you have no car, no goods, you always got no money.

>> And no poor shit.

>> Tony Montana would be pissed.

[MUSIC]

>> Stop right there.

Stop right there.

Stop right there.

Stop right there.

[MUSIC]

>> Not for monkey cars, not for--

>> Do you have any?

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure if you can't.

>> I'm not sure.

>> Yeah, and here's the best part.

I got an angle.

>> Well, Conne of Angle.

>> We can make pornos the cater to guys like us.

>> Your main versions?

>> Exactly.

>> I don't films made by Virgin's four virgins.

>> Well, here's a question.

How are we going to get the women to star in the film?

>> And the guys.

>> That's simple.

We'll surf the net or something.

We can figure that out.

>> Men.

>> [LAUGHTER]

>> What's so funny?

>> There was too much, man.

I could--oh, you're funny.

>> I'm serious about this.

>> You can't make a porno.

>> Deacon.

Do you have any idea how much trouble we would get in?

>> Do you have any idea how much money we'd make?

>> Like how much?

>> How much?

And after buying a car, I have to get more camera shit.

And after taking out girls, I have to do whatever the hell we want.

>> But what about the moral implications?

It's a three-market transaction between two consenting adults.

What's the problem?

>> Uh, hello.

We're not adults.

He's got a point, Deacon.

You just don't get it, do you?

If we make this movie, this year could be the best year of our lives.

We go in, boys, and we come out and mend.

But you know what? You two losers, rather sit back and play it safe.

Well, I'm not waiting on you, man.

I'm not waiting to know the minute.

I'm making this movie with or without you.

When I show up at school, my new set of wheels,

you want me not to say?

Sorry, guys.

It should be sale.

It should be blue.

>> That was a great speech, Deacon.

>> Thanks, man.

>> I'm not a good person.

>> I'm not a good person.

>> I'm not a good person.

>> I'm not a good person.

>> I'm not a good person.

>> Hey, thanks, man.

>> Did you work that out before?

>> No.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

So let's say that we were actually going to do this.

What would we call our company?

>> Oh, I know.

>> After school special.

[MUSIC]

>> Hey, Doug.

>> Hey, darling.

>> How you doing?

>> Ready for number eight?

>> Sure, just give me a couple of minutes.

>> Great thing, huh?

Good action.

Nice arc there at the end.

>> Thank you very much, Mikey.

>> No problem.

>> Hey, buddy, let me ask you something.

I want you to be completely honest with me.

>> Sure, Vic.

>> I think I'm too fat.

>> Are you kidding?

>> I mean, I know I put on a few pounds.

>> Vic, the camera loves you.

>> Seriously?

>> Absolutely.

>> Thanks, buddy.

>> Thank you.

>> All right.

>> Thank you.

>> So.

>> Hey, you.

>> All right.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> So.

>> I needed it.

>> Dr. Jim Loma.

Dr. Hey, what's your blow up?

>> These reports are the emergency room.

>> Okay.

>> We need two forms of idea to prove she's over it.

>> Okay, I wish money to me.

>> Well, the first time porno mattress makes only 250 to 500 bucks.

>> That's it?

>> That's not included.

>> Yes, Matt.

>> I'm not supposed to have sex with these women, are we?

>> No, man.

>> Fred, your father wants you to take these year un-samples down to the lab.

>> Okay.

>> In a minute.

>> All right.

We also need an adult signature to set up the bank account and website.

Let's use principal dagger's name.

>> Oh, my God.

You're a genius that will never come back to haunt us.

>> Dude, who's needing to get a use, huh?

>> Ronald Crankser, here for my four o'clock appointment.

>> He's got a rectal exam.

It's worse when he sleeps.

He does a lot of night scratching.

I try to prevent him.

>> I'm too nervous about that.

>> Oh, don't forget your sample jar.

>> Don't forget your stool jar.

>> Oh, no.

>> Why not?

It's perfect.

My dad's come, Mr. Gricha's signature on file is credit card number is Social Security Number.

>> I never find out.

>> It's not like we're sending him our annual report.

It'll be like an official name of record or something.

>> Code blue.

>> Crankser, park to the specimen.

>> Gricha, it is then.

>> Hey, we need corner names.

>> What do you mean?

>> It's a basic rule of porno.

All people affiliated with production of an adult film have corner names.

So their friends don't recognize them.

>> Oh, he like Johnny Hardmember.

>> Exactly.

>> Hey, that's a good one.

>> I'll be balls, make long cocks.

>> You guys are dorks.

Those names are pretty actors.

>> You're just jealous.

You don't have a cool porno named like exactly.

>> Exactly.

>> All right, fine.

But I'm Sam.

>> Sam.

>> Yeah.

>> Sam's slamming back door man.

>> That name's socks.

>> You don't get it, do you?

A porno name needs to be a very subtle thing.

>> Sorry, balls.

I guess I'm a little new at this.

>> Yeah, and you're funny too.

[MUSIC]

>> I see what I'm making from Hawaii.

Do you know what a Hawaiian driver's license looks like?

>> No, exactly.

[MUSIC]

>> I want to see him a little suspicious like why are we in Cleveland?

>> Vacation.

>> No people in Cleveland, vacation in Hawaii.

Where do you think people from Hawaii go?

[MUSIC]

>> Aloha.

>> Mwah, hello.

[MUSIC]

>> Yeah.

Mom, can I use the car?

>> Deacon, I have to go to the video store later.

I'm sorry.

>> Mom, you said I could use the car, but it's never free.

>> Okay, Deacon.

I'll walk to the video store.

Where are you guys going?

>> Out.

>> I come to your boys or dressed like Don Ho.

>> Because, Mr. Lewis, this is the new style.

>> Yeah, for ass Wranglers, max.

>> [LAUGH]

>> Ass Wranglers.

All right boys, let the Wranglers begin.

[MUSIC]

>> Are we really going to do this?

>> Yeah.

[MUSIC]

>> Yeah, let's go.

>> Well, I won't tell the next stop.

I'll send another kind of thing.

But no, it's not the faffa thing, but no, no, no, no.

>> Yeah.

>> Man, you've been living for the hands, take it at the heart.

The lance of training it for me.

All your grump is empty, this breaks, doesn't.

>> All right, Dean.

[MUSIC]

>> Oh, Richard running there from Hawaii.

Okay, we'll have a good time guys.

[MUSIC]

>> Good morning guys.

>> Nice validation, John.

>> Well, thanks.

>> Thanks.

>> You understand?

>> We have to get into the strip of the night.

>> Next two years of high school?

>> What made you want?

>> Totally depend on it.

>> Okay.

>> I'll get it.

>> Oh, wait, wait, wait.

>> Gosh.

[MUSIC]

>> Have a good time guys.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> All my stresses, but I'll not you kiss.

The truth is I will have to write.

I must resist.

>> Hey.

>> Hey, boy dad.

>> You dragged me.

>> Oh, I'll have a scotch straight up on the rocks.

>> Oh.

>> Oh.

>> That's right.

>> I'll have a seven and seven.

>> All right.

>> Shakes, for me.

>> Thank you.

[MUSIC]

>> We know that a seven and seven.

>> I have no idea.

But I heard the guy over there order one and I like the way it's down.

>> I'm a miracle.

>> This constant condition, mastery, and straight up addiction.

>> Straight up, the nation's strength, the strength of the nation's strength.

>> Straight up, the nation's strength, the nation's strength.

>> Straight up, the nation's strength, the nation's strength.

>> Do you want to dance?

>> Uh, no, thank you.

>> I need to go to the bathroom.

>> How about you find me a drink?

>> Okay.

>> Seven and seven.

>> You want mine?

>> What brings you voice to the pretty kitty?

>> Well, actually, we're filmmakers and we're here looking for new talent.

>> Really?

>> Really?

>> You interested or what?

>> No.

>> But I do know someone who is.

[MUSIC]

>> Hi, I'm Ashley.

You guys have film makers?

>> I'm a photographer, actually.

I want to shoot on film.

But these guys wouldn't let me.

>> All right, here's the paint top of dollars.

>> Okay, hetero only.

No am.

And we'll be distributing through our website.

So.

>> Aren't you a little young?

>> No.

>> No?

>> Well, aren't you, is the question I have to ask.

>> We will need two forms of writing through the over 18.

>> Okay.

>> I'm Aceme.

>> Then you're hired.

Shouldn't we audition her first?

Shut up, Matt.

>> Everybody's favorite on a school girl.

Give it up for Aceme.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> That's really cool.

>> That's really cool.

>> Look, this is my picture and this is my number.

And you're so happy.

Okay, bye.

>> This makes her.

[MUSIC]

>> God.

>> Okay, people reset and we'll go again right away.

>> If I can eat the car.

>> Okay, five minutes and we'll go again right away.

>> Here's someone who's been muscling in our territory.

>> Yeah, I heard that.

The recruiting and talent.

Jimmy Rumor says it from Hawaii.

>> Why?

>> I'm sorry from Hawaii.

Why I come to Cleveland.

>> I don't know.

Vacation?

>> It's Cleveland.

>> Look out the window.

>> Hey, there's the rock and roll hall of fame, huh?

>> Yeah, I guess.

>> What is this?

Effort Vic Month?

If these goddamn amateur yay, both.

I'm trying to muslin.

Am I a territory?

I swear to God.

I'm gonna go off.

>> Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa.

Who are you gonna shoot?

>> I don't know.

>> Everybody, nobody, I don't know.

>> Come down, Vic.

>> Huh?

>> I don't need you all agitated.

You still got five films of star and today.

>> Hey, you're right.

>> Yeah.

Of course I'm right.

I'm worried about it, okay?

We'll find these guys and we'll take care of them.

>> Good.

>> Good.

>> You hungry?

>> Yeah.

>> I could eat.

>> We'll grab some lunch.

>> Sure.

>> Good.

>> All right.

>> All right, let's pray for lunch.

>> Everybody, we're breaking for lunch.

>> What are you guys doing?

>> Oh, we came up with a great idea.

We're gonna pre-sell copies of the video on the website.

>> Well, that work.

>> I don't know, but it's fine.

One thing though, I just thought about it.

If our motto is "Buy Virgin's" for virgins, maybe we should put like a picture or something

of one of us on the website to sort of sell the image.

You're not putting my picture up there.

>> Why, you're a virgin.

>> No, this is a good idea.

But it doesn't necessarily have to be one of us.

[MUSIC]

>> No, do you think he'll be mad?

>> Are you kidding me?

He looks great.

He'll probably even get laid.

>> What's he doing?

>> Honey, are you in here?

[SOUND]

>> Oh, I'm boys.

Look who's here.

You're good friend Jake.

>> Hi, guys.

>> Okay, boys.

>> Have a good time.

>> Bye, Mrs. Lewis.

>> Good bye, Jake.

>> I just see you come again.

>> I'm going for sure.

[MUSIC]

>> The hell's going on here, sphincter.

What are you doing here?

>> Nah, I don't know.

>> I saw the strippers drop you guys off.

>> We don't know what you're talking about.

>> Oh, yeah?

>> Yeah?

>> Well then, what's this?

>> Huh?

>> Oh my God, there's a boy at the door looking at us naked in the shower.

>> Gady club, secretary lathers all of their glistening.

>> Shut up.

>> Glistening bodies.

First girl, I'm so dirty.

Do me the right way, she moans.

>> Kind of sick shit is this.

You guys trying to run a whore house or something?

>> No.

>> That is great writing.

Are you crazy?

>> They're not a horse if we film them, 88.

>> You re-tards?

>> They're trying to make a porno movie?

>> Hey, you can't prove a thing.

>> Yeah.

>> Who's the girl?

>> Uh, stripper, her name's Ashley.

>> Shit.

>> Who's the guy?

[MUSIC]

>> You know, because maybe I could, maybe I could do it.

>> No, it wouldn't work.

>> Why not?

>> It's a lot harder than it looks.

>> You need concentration, stamina, girth.

>> What, you don't think I can do it?

Trust me, the jaguar masters nailed his.

>> Forget about it, man.

>> Listen here, you little fuck.

I want to do it.

All right, if you don't let me then I'm going to tell your mom what kind of sick shit you're up to.

All right?

Come on.

>> Oh, man, it says no.

>> Okay, fine, you can do it.

You'll need these.

>> I'm fine, I'll see you on set.

>> Bye, fucker.

>> In my basement after school.

[MUSIC]

>> She's all alone, what are you guys going for there?

>> I'm not going up there.

>> Yes, to give all the waterfalls to the sea.

>> Yeah, and that person is you.

So go.

You're wasting time.

Man, I'm really nervous.

>> I'm not going up there.

>> I'm not going up there.

[MUSIC]

>> Is it time?

>> So I'll be directing.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

I want you to play this really understated.

It's very visceral scene so it's important not to play it too over the top.

>> Uh-huh.

>> Hey, did you guys shave or something?

>> Let's, let's roll.

>> Let's do this, come on.

>> Get the boom.

>> Okay.

>> Boom in position.

>> What?

>> What?

>> Give me a second.

>> [MUSIC]

>> It has to be close to you.

>> Get close.

>> Get close.

>> What?

>> What?

>> Come on.

>> My mom gave me $30 for this boom and he just broke it.

>> You're at a disgrace.

>> Make me nervous.

>> Um, so Ashley, could you take your position?

>> Okay.

>> Are we really going to do this?

>> Obviously, yeah.

>> Okay, so, um, we're starting with the masturbation.

>> Okay.

>> And then, uh, fill up the yearbook editor is going to surprise you.

>> Okay.

>> Okay, um, action.

>> These yearbook photos of the debate club are just making me so hot.

>> I can't help myself.

>> Wow.

>> And you know, I hope nobody comes in because I think I've got to love the door.

>> Oops.

>> I can't remember here.

>> What?

>> Get me close.

>> Oh.

>> Yeah.

>> Oh.

>> Yeah.

>> Oh.

>> Yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Did I just move out?

>> Oh, no.

You were great.

I think I've got everything I need there.

I'm going to set up for Jake.

>> I gotta go to the bathroom.

>> No, you're not, Brad.

>> Jake, you ready?

>> Yep.

>> Action.

>> Oh, my God.

What are you doing here?

>> I'm sorry.

Please don't tell the principal.

>> Give me one good reason why I shouldn't.

>> Cut.

>> That was perfect.

>> Oh, I don't want to move on to the sexual material.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> And action.

>> That's it.

>> It's not hard.

>> Yeah.

>> Oh, yeah.

See that.

>> Shut up, man.

>> Um, Ashley, maybe you can help him out a little.

>> Yeah.

>> Wait, what?

>> Okay.

>> Oh, God.

>> Wait, I'm not set up for that shot.

>> Yeah, that's just not right.

>> Oh, okay.

>> I'm sorry.

>> I never do this.

>> I never do this.

>> She got me too excited.

>> What?

>> I got a problem.

Okay?

Okay, is that what you guys want to hear, huh?

>> That I got to do.

>> I'm sorry.

>> I never do this.

>> I never do this.

>> I never do this.

>> I never do this.

>> She got me too excited.

>> What?

>> I got a tiny P.P.

and I'm a premature ejaculator, huh?

>> All right.

>> Okay.

>> Let's come down.

>> It'll be fine.

Not a problem at all.

We'll film it again and we can splice it together, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Well, we'd have to shoot it like 20 times to get enough footage.

>> That's it.

Little fucks.

>> I'm out of here.

>> Look now.

>> Thank you guys.

>> Anybody about this?

I'm going to kick your ass and kill you.

I'm going to write now.

>> Come on!

[MUSIC]

>> Now what?

>> Just one second.

>> Second.

>> Deacon.

>> You do it.

>> What?

>> Come on, you see?

>> It's your big chair.

>> I'm going to do it.

>> I'm going to do it.

>> Come on, you see?

>> It's your big chance.

>> Come here.

>> Yeah.

>> What once you do it?

>> Right.

>> What?

>> Come on.

>> You do it.

>> I've tried to camera.

>> God, like you're the only one who can run the camera.

>> Oh, fine.

Fine.

I'll do it.

I'll do it for the sake of the film.

>> Man, give me.

>> It's time.

>> No.

>> No.

>> No.

>> Yeah.

>> That's true.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> There you go.

>> Yeah.

>> Okay.

>> It's treating us.

>> Okay.

>> You know what?

I say we just pay Ashley and chalk it up to a failed experiment.

>> Fine.

>> Yeah.

>> Me too.

>> No.

>> We can fight someone else.

>> Who?

>> And we're going to pre-sell them through our website.

>> So what do you think?

>> You guys are going to be legends of the school, man.

>> Oh, my God.

I've got it.

Oh, my God.

>> The math team captain.

>> What?

>> The math team captain is in detention for something.

All right?

>> For fiction grades for a girl.

>> Oh, my God.

That's perfect.

>> And the cheerleaders in there.

And she's going to be a good one.

>> And she is going to get grounded if she fails one more test.

That's perfect.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> So she goes over to this house.

>> And she's really, really hot.

>> Really hot.

>> I got it.

>> Really?

>> Really?

>> All right.

>> Okay.

>> But she's not in the--

She's not like a calculus or anything.

She's like, "Hell's wrong."

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Because she's a slut.

>> Right.

>> She has a right.

>> She has a right.

>> She has an equation.

>> I didn't know.

>> She's making--

>> Make it broader.

>> 12-inch ruler.

>> Yeah.

>> You're getting closer.

Slide rules slide.

Slide rules slide.

Slide rules slide.

Slide rules slide.

Slide rules slide.

Slide rules slide.

Slide rules slide.

>> Oh, my God.

I got to go to the bathroom.

Okay.

I'll leave you keep carrying.

>> Oh, my God.

>> And you just know what to do is.

It's strange.

It's kind of foreign.

[ Music ]

>> Oh, my God.

>> Oh, my God.

You okay?

>> Yeah.

>> Change.

I'm so embarrassed.

>> Well, I guess I should go.

>> Um, you can--

You wait while I change my shirt really fast.

You just turn around, block me and nobody will see.

>> So I haven't seen you around school for a while.

>> Oh, yeah, you know, I'm just working on this.

This project at home.

>> Cool.

You can turn around then.

>> Listen, Mark and J.T. are having a party tonight.

>> You're gonna meet me there?

>> Really?

>> Why not?

>> Yeah.

>> Who?

>> What's up?

>> Oh, there!

>> Oh, there!

>> Oh, there!

>> Oh, my God!

>> Oh, my God!

>> Oh, and that's the history of the blow home.

Now, on to the sea lions.

Sea lions, as you will see, are not really lions.

They have no herd, no tail.

They do not live an effort.

>> I'm a man.

>> Dig in!

>> Dig in!

>> Dig in!

>> You guys want me?

Our site got linked by another bigger site.

Somebody read our stories and liked them!

>> That's great!

>> And we got a few more pre-orders and a ton of hits.

>> How many?

12,000.

>> Oh, shit!

>> Yes!

>> Nice!

>> Guys, we got to hurry up and make this movie.

I can't really do it tonight.

>> Where are you going?

>> That you owe me invited me to a party.

>> Can we come?

Yeah!

Of course you can.

Um, the thing is, I really want you to, but, uh, I, uh...

I don't know.

I was kind of getting this vibe from, you know what I mean?

>> Okay.

We can just meet you there.

>> Sure.

>> Sounds good.

>> It's at Mark and JT's List Excess.

[MUSIC]

>> That's right, I'm not.

>> I'm just making sure the fan is showing.

[MUSIC]

>> What is it?

>> I'm so happy.

>> Oh, no.

>> Hey guys.

>> Oh, look who's here.

So, I hear you guys are working on a project together.

>> Uh, yeah, yeah, we are, but we can't really talk about it.

>> Yeah, it's private.

>> Hey guys.

>> Hey, Ken.

>> What's up, buddy?

>> I'm from Skinn.

>> Come on.

>> What's up?

>> What's up?

>> What's up?

>> What's up, shit?

>> What's up, see, what are you doing hanging out with this loser?

>> What's your problem, Jake?

>> What's yours?

>> Whatever.

>> Whoa, whoa, hey, what was that all about?

>> You really pisses me off.

Jake is such an asshole.

>> Tell me about it.

>> Mm, Neil and we are going up.

>> Neil and we are going up.

He was mean to me all the time.

Okay?

I think he was compensating for his little penis that never gets hard.

>> [Coughing]

>> [Coughing]

>> You're really smart to dump him.

>> And I'll tell you why.

>> Because you.

You deserve someone little.

>> What's wrong?

>> Treat you really well.

>> You know what you are.

You're a nice guy.

>> [Coughing]

>> [Coughing]

>> Look, take him.

>> I don't want you to do that for a long time.

>> So I didn't you.

>> [Music]

>> [Music]

>> Do you have anything?

>> I want protection.

>> [Music]

>> Yeah.

>> Do you want to?

>> Oh, of course.

>> Yeah.

>> [Music]

>> That's a problem.

>> It's my first time.

>> It's okay.

Just go slow.

>> Okay, don't panic.

Don't panic.

What do I do?

I mean, what do I do?

I got to think.

>> Right.

>> I know I've seen porn.

I've seen lots of porn.

That's it.

>> A bar a little scene from Forrest Pompa.

>> [Music]

>> Yeah.

>> And I think I'll take a little sample from American Thigh.

>> Part one and two.

>> [Music]

>> And then I finish up with some classic material,

Pope Frick.

[Music]

>> You know it's true what they say.

It really does help the company.

>> Come on, I can tell me you're a lesbian or something.

>> Where the hell is coop?

>> Oh.

>> How is this special effect?

>> If you want this bill to look amateur, you can find somebody up to do it.

>> Cuz I.

>> Ciao, talkin' 'em about.

>> Come on, already.

Let's do it, all right?

Okay, place, please.

>> [Music]

>> An action.

>> Watch your ass, man.

>> Oh, there's some, a temple blockbuster has me so scared.

>> Put your head in my lap and I'll let you know when the scary parts are over.

What are you doing?

>> [Sighs]

[Music]

>> Monsters coming out, baby.

Just, oh God, this is, man.

>> How's Naomi?

>> Fine.

>> Oh, Jesus Christ, this is horrifying.

>> I'm sorry.

>> All right, be honest with me, do you ever think that maybe we've just got a little more ass with all this?

>> Oh, God damn it, because I'm one of the stick.

>> Fire, fire!

>> [screams]

>> Fire, fire!

>> Fire, fire!

>> Fire, fire!

>> Fire, fire!

>> Fire, fire!

>> Fire!

>> Fire!

>> I can't believe this.

>> You are okay.

>> What?

>> You're okay.

>> You're okay.

>> Nice, rack.

>> What did you do in here?

>> The max-sprained his wrist is soccer practice.

What's going on here, Deacon?

>> Wait, wait, honey, I'm sure Deacon's got a pretty good explanation why there's a very beautiful naked girl in her kitchen.

>> Well?

>> Well, I'm a Deacon's girlfriend, Ashley.

>> His girlfriend.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> My girlfriend.

>> What are you doing in my kitchen without any clothes on?

>> Oh.

>> Oh, well.

>> You have an makeup party.

>> Hey, Cal, party.

That's great.

Where's the other girls?

>> Oh, dear.

>> Uh, dates.

>> Through them up.

>> Yeah, those did.

Mine didn't.

Mine got six years ago.

>> Mine has mono too much making out with me.

>> What's that smell?

>> Uh, we had a small fire, Mrs. Lewis.

I tipped over a candle.

It was to set the right move.

>> Fire?

>> Oh, don't do that.

Allow me to take responsibility.

I feel better that way.

We can pay for it.

>> I am really sorry, Ashley.

I just didn't even know we had a girlfriend.

>> Say it would you like to stay for dinner tonight?

>> Oh, no.

>> Ashley is this--

>> Okay.

>> Great.

>> I'm art.

>> Oh.

>> Okay.

Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Do you have a shirt?

>> Yes.

>> She's on.

>> She's got this robe.

>> Yeah.

>> She's got a shirt in here.

>> Chance.

>> Look at this.

Johnson comes in and he's like, hey, where are the ND-90s?

I'm like, man, you gotta be kidding me.

We just continue the ND-90s like six months ago.

>> And they think he's the genius.

>> Johnson says it could complete more.

>> Exactly.

>> Ashley, I have a personal question for you.

>> Exactly, hold, are you?

>> Well, I'm 19, but I tell people I'm a scene.

>> Right.

>> 18.

>> I just--

>> Is it that funny?

>> I've got it.

I've got it.

>> I'm going to do it.

>> What sausage are?

>> I'm going to die.

I'm going to die on set before you hear yourself.

>> What are you doing here?

>> I'm going to come by and say hi.

Maybe we could hang out in your bedroom.

>> Oh, God.

Now it's not a good time.

>> That's wrong.

>> Well, nothing, nothing at all.

It's just-- let me talk to you later.

>> Deacon, who is it?

>> Hi, Mrs. Lewis.

>> I'm Naomi.

>> Yes, this is Naomi.

>> And she's my good girlfriend.

>> It is girlfriend.

>> He can have two girlfriends.

>> What?

>> Break your heart around me.

>> What do you mean?

>> He can--

>> All the other girlfriend is having dinner with us.

>> Oh, God, I can explain.

>> Naomi?

>> This is Deacon's other girlfriend Ashley.

>> Hi.

>> Oh, my God.

How old are you?

You sweat.

>> 18.

>> I thought you were a nice guy.

>> Hey.

>> Hey, let her go.

>> Are you insane?

>> That's not Naomi Feldman.

I've been fetishizing about her ever since I was in the seventh grade.

>> Oh, fantasy and reality are two different things, Deacon, okay?

Don't fall in love with her because of who you think she is.

Make sure you fall in love with her.

Take the real deal.

>> All right, so what should I do?

>> Whatever.

>> So she's a porno actress in your porno film, and she pretended to be your girl.

friend because she ran upstairs naked because of light caused a fire and you've never had sex with her and you've never kissed her.

>> Yeah, pretty much.

So I guess this means you're not my girlfriend anymore.

>> Not necessarily.

I want to come to set tomorrow.

>> No.

>> Why not?

>> I am curious.

I want to see what this porno looks like.

>> I'm sorry, but you can't.

There's just no way.

Man, Fred, I'll kill me.

I'm supposed to be telling anyone about this.

>> Well, just tell them I'm creative consultant for the female point of view.

>> No offense, but the female point of view really doesn't matter on these kind of movies.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Thank you.

>> I didn't have any money.

>> In fact, you gotta see this.

>> Does that have to school special shit is amazing?

They get a ton of heads on their site with their stupid stories, and they don't even have any product yet.

>> Are you sure it's the same guys in the pretty kitty?

>> The same guys.

>> The same guys.

>> The same though.

>> I just found out where they live.

Give me their address.

What are you gonna do?

Give me the address.

>> I'm gonna teach those assholes a little something about their dope film business.

>> Goddamnit, my amateurs.

They take a screw-vick ramilop.

>> Are you ready?

>> I'm ready.

>> You gonna do this?

>> Let's do this.

>> Let's do this.

Let's do this.

>> Let's do this.

>> Let's do this.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> Hello.

>> Is you great, sir?

>> Yes.

>> That's great.

>> Ronald J. Great.

>> Actually, it's Ronald.

>> But yes.

>> Huh.

>> I get it.

Brilliant.

You ain't even a goddamn kid, aren't you?

Get it off!

Come on!

>> What are you doing?

>> What am I doing?

I'm putting you in retirement from the portal business for good.

>> You hear me?

>> More schoolgirl fantasies.

And no more goddamn portals, by virgins, for virgins.

You got me?

>> [SOUND]

>> You don't hurt me, Alan Bitch.

>> I'm sorry, I'll never read the beginning.

>> It was only that one time my wife was at her sister's lease.

I promise.

>> You ran into a dirty movie?

You told me it was Jacob the liar.

>> What?

>> I shouldn't be entitled to a little joy in life.

>> And look at all the trouble you brought in his house.

>> Mm.

>> I don't think you are a power.

>> Excuse us.

I don't think that was him.

>> How was that?

>> I'm sorry, that was the interesting game on the site.

>> The budget on your girls.

>> I know, I'm sorry, think I'm sorry.

>> Jesus.

>> You see that cake?

>> That was a good cake.

>> Yeah, look good.

>> That's ice cream.

>> I can talk about ice cream cake.

>> Let's kill one.

>> All right.

>> Super easy man, camera right is left and camera left.

>> What do you get, Rich?

>> There's a line that we can't correct, do you understand?

>> You can't cross the line.

>> What is she doing here?

>> Now, I only use my girlfriend.

Excuse me?

Can I talk to you?

>> Yes, Brent.

>> Brent, Brent, Brent, Brent.

>> Brent, Brent, Brent, Brent.

>> I know we can give a female point of view on shut up.

>> What are you doing?

Huh?

>> Didn't you see that Beatles documentary on the history channeling?

You're pulling a yolk of on us.

>> What?

>> All right, fine.

You know what?

I'm sorry, I said anything.

I'm sure it's going to be great.

All right, let's just get started.

She's going to be really helpful.

>> Hey, Coot.

What are you helping these guys out?

>> Sorta.

>> Okay, people, places everybody.

Let's try to do this with a little feeling.

Okay.

>> Hey, Coot.

>> Hey, Coot.

>> Hey, Coot.

>> And action.

>> This is called radical equation.

It's so hard.

>> Maybe we should just stick to the long division.

>> Coot, this is all wrong.

She would not be fantasizing about some geek.

>> He's not a geek.

>> He's the math team captain.

>> No.

He should be really well dressed.

And maybe he's a foreign exchange student from Portugal.

>> Okay, nobody told you this.

It's not a big deal.

>> But nobody calls Coot but me.

>> Who cares, Naomi?

>> Do you can agree with me?

>> Look, you guys, can we get this done today and my balls are free.

>> Shut up, Coot.

This is important.

>> In my balls heart.

>> Oh, it's so good.

>> Oh, shit, I'm sorry.

>> Sorry, baby.

>> You know what?

This is ridiculous.

I mean, who does it dress rehearsal for a pro?

No, anyway.

>> Oh, sure.

Why don't we just throw the script out while we're at an improvise?

>> Guys, I appreciate this.

I appreciate getting money for doing absolutely nothing.

But this is my career.

And I have no footage from my wheel.

Whatever.

>> Ashley, listen.

>> Ashley, come on.

>> Where are you going?

>> Come on, where are you going?

>> Come on, where are you going?

>> Come on, where are you doing?

>> Oh, great.

That is just great.

What do we do now, huh, Deacon?

>> Your girlfriend ruined everything.

>> Wait a second here.

If you guys knew anything about women, we wouldn't have this problem.

But you don't.

>> Who asked you?

>> Whatever.

>> I'm out of here.

>> Come on, Deacon.

>> Yeah.

>> Get out of here.

Leave already.

Go!

>> Are you coming, Deacon?

>> Okay, here we are.

>> Wait a second.

What are we doing here?

>> Oh, I thought you might want some new clothes.

>> Oh, I thought you might want some new clothes.

>> Oh, I thought you might want some new clothes.

>> Oh, I thought you might want some new clothes.

>> I really don't need new clothes.

I got to meet up with men and Fred later on today.

I already blew them off yesterday.

>> Deacon, you don't have to hang out with those boys anymore.

>> Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, wait a second.

>> I just thought we could spend the day together.

>> What about men and Fred?

>> What about me?

>> What about me?

>> [SOUND]

>> What are you wearing?

>> I'm wearing a sweater.

>> Why?

>> Not an eye of been talking.

>> Okay.

>> We want to make this movie.

>> Yeah, I do, obviously, so do I.

>> No, Deacon.

>> We want to make this movie.

We wrote.

>> Without you.

>> I know what this is about.

It's about Naomi.

>> Five virgins, four virgins, remember?

As soon as you got what you wanted, you blew us off.

>> Come on, man, you understand.

>> Do you even like her?

>> Fine.

>> Duke got me.

>> I'm not sure.

>> I'm not sure.

>> I'm not sure.

>> [MUSIC]

>> Fine.

>> Fine.

>> [MUSIC]

>> Deacon.

>> Reaching.

>> How are you?

>> Good, good.

>> How was France?

>> It was so fun.

>> I'm just a cup at a cat today.

This school totally screwed my schedule.

>> How's John Baldwin?

>> Who told you about that?

>> Everyone knows.

>> Everyone's a liar.

I didn't do it with John Baldwin.

>> You didn't?

>> Is that like how it was with us?

>> [MUSIC]

>> As soon as you got what you wanted, you blew us off.

>> Do you even like her?

>> Is that like how it was with us?

>> I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like the whole world is just passing us by and we're just sitting still.

And like, I don't know.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

>> You know, you can be a real dick sometimes.

>> [LAUGH]

>> All right, so now what?

Do we make this thing?

>> I know.

>> Hey, we should call it quits.

>> Hey, guys.

>> Oh, hey, what are you doing here?

>> I need you.

>> I need you to make this movie.

>> For my real.

>> Well, actually, we were just talking about the--

>> Wow.

>> I'm an eyelash takin'.

>> Make a wish.

[MUSIC]

>> Testosterone is the drug more powerful than heroin.

>> And girls know it.

>> They use our obsession against us to get flowers and class rings and commitments.

And in Ashley's case, we'll link the adult videos.

But come on, if she hadn't come back, we could have stopped.

But we were weak.

At that moment, Ashley would have asked us to jump off a bridge.

As I'm sure you can guess, we would have done it.

We had to finish the film.

>> So I've been thinking about getting into films.

Any tips on how I can break in?

>> Not really acting plashes, I guess.

>> Well, I didn't think there was much, you know, acting in those sorts of films.

>> I guess it kind of depends.

>> So I think you can give me an audition?

>> For what?

>> I'll never have been cutting your hair.

>> I don't know since I was like, "Hey!"

>> I know who you are.

>> Don't worry.

Your secrets save with me.

>> Come on.

I just want to just make one film, you know.

>> That's great.

>> But how can I help you?

>> I guess.

>> You do for me if I do.

>> I guess.

>> If I do, for you.

>> That's how it works.

>> Okay.

>> [SOUND]

[SOUND]

>> [SOUND]

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

[MUSIC]

>> This is it.

This is the magic hour.

The high school prom.

But let's remember what's really important.

The transition of the moment.

Like we've all, you know, for instance, we've already,

the metamorphosis by Franz Caca.

>> Yeah, dude, my mom has a book.

>> Let's see that up here and in here.

>> Action.

>> Ira?

I have something to tell you.

>> What is it?

>> This prom is making me so hot.

I think I'm ready to lose my virginity to it tonight.

>> Action?

>> Oh, Ira.

Ira.

>> [SOUND]

>> Guys, this is like Nickelodeon with penis.

>> It's going to be a kindness.

>> It's going to be, it's great.

>> It's just getting naked and getting on.

>> Round two.

>> [SOUND]

>> That's what I'm talking about.

>> [SOUND]

>> Action.

>> We're like an animal.

>> [SOUND]

>> [SOUND]

>> Okay, alright, let's set up.

>> My dress is ruined.

>> That is it?

>> What are we going to do now?

[MUSIC]

>> [SOUND]

>> Going to go hand help.

>> [SOUND]

>> So good.

>> Oh, super fast.

>> Good.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> What are you doing?

>> It's a basic rule.

>> Oh my god.

>> You gotta be sweaty and action.

>> What?

>> The teacher, I, oh.

>> [SOUND]

>> Oh, we're there, queen.

>> Are you sick?

>> I'm sick, queen.

>> I have the shrimp salad last night, man.

>> And look, I told my mom.

>> Are you just about done so much?

>> Yes.

>> Take up where we left off.

>> That's my face.

>> I'm waiting.

>> I got people, I don't even know.

>> Bounce it up and down on my stomach.

>> Find Bridgework of Gossmore and Selt, no questions?

All right, let's do this.

>> Hey.

>> Action.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

>> Hey, Vig, listen about your count.

>> Dr. Mike.

>> No, it's good.

>> Thanks.

>> You're with Dave, there's a kid on the phone.

What's up, a new account?

For what?

Something called after school special?

>> I get you for.

>> What did you say?

>> Well, that's for another customer.

>> Did you just say after school special?

>> Yeah.

>> I'm gonna get some pasta, I get some sauce, I'm gonna get some cheese.

>> I'll put it in there.

>> I'll mix it with you little bastards, nuts, and make more flossiles!

>> [LAUGH]

>> Still?

>> How does it look?

>> Well, I cut together some footage to get to Ashley for a reel, but

I don't think I can finish this movie.

Why not?

>> I can't even watch it.

Every time I turn it on, I can think about it as coop, harding all day long.

>> That was pretty gross.

>> It's just it.

>> The movie looks great, but seeing all that other stuff.

All that disgusting nasty stuff.

That's what's taken all the fun out of it.

I just, I don't want to do it anymore.

>> Great.

>> I knew it.

I knew it.

I knew you couldn't handle this.

>> I get easy for it.

>> No, shut up, Deacon.

I knew when it came down to it.

Matt would wuss out.

>> You know what?

>> Fuck you, Fred.

You're the wuss here.

At least I don't have to whack off every time I see a girl in the hallway.

>> Hey, shut up, Matt.

>> No, you shut up.

>> For once in your life, be a man and admit this movie was a mistake.

>> Hey, what do you want him to make me?

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Matt's right.

>> This movie was a mistake.

>> What are you talking about this whole thing was your idea?

>> If you didn't like making the movie, why didn't you just say something?

I don't know.

I thought you guys weren't having fun.

I didn't want to be the wuss.

>> We convinced Matt to finish the movie.

We had orders to film.

But after that, we promised ourselves we were going to shut down the website and get

out of the porn business.

We weren't going to let life pass us by anymore.

So we did when any self-respecting teeny engine would do.

>> You're going to be through a bitch and party.

>> Hey, guys.

>> Best of luck.

>> I think.

>> I was going to do some.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> This is such a great party.

>> Thank you.

>> I have the biggest news.

So I sent my real to visit and they want to fly me and cool to LA to talk about a

contract.

>> Yeah, yeah.

>> Wow.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

>> You're so sweet.

>> Hey, that's me.

>> Hey.

>> I'll see you guys later.

>> Okay.

>> Come on.

>> So what's going on, guys?

>> I'm going to ask you a question.

>> Yeah.

>> He wanted to know, actually, if we ever get girlfriends.

>> In a couple of years, girls are going to be dying to meet guys like you.

>> I told you.

>> You, friends, Matt.

>> Hey, guys.

>> Great party.

>> Hey.

>> Hey.

>> You looks great.

>> Hey.

>> You looks great.

>> Hey.

>> We're going to put my picture up.

>> What am I?

>> He got in those pants.

>> That was Naomi.

>> I don't know.

>> I thought she was your fantasy girl.

>> Yes, she was.

>> But I don't know what the same time it wasn't like it was with Rachel and I.

>> You're going to dump her.

>> You're breaking up with me?

>> Can we solve sex?

>> I only listen to what I'm saying.

>> The only reason I went out with you is because I thought you were a nice guy.

And now you want to break up with me?

>> Yeah, I guess so.

>> If you tell anybody about this.

>> I won't.

>> I have a reputation.

>> Jeez, you can tell people you don't meet if you want.

>> Really?

>> Sure, what do I care?

>> You are a nice guy.

>> Just tell me a favor and don't tell anyone about the movies.

>> All right.

>> Jesus, ladies, tell them.

He's sick little shits right here.

Our poor old, she's grassers man.

>> No, they're purpose right?

>> They may pour on movies and their basements.

>> Jake, you better give it a rash body because no one's listening to you.

>> Oh, really?

>> Shit, man.

>> You know what, I bet I know someone who might believe me.

Your parents.

>> The websites that someone else's name, all of our files are encrypted.

There's nothing tracing it to us.

>> Well, I guess it's a good thing that I took the tape of actually masturbating in your basement.

>> What's your parents?

>> Sick little movies.

They're good boy deacons making.

They might be kind of mad.

>> Did you make any copies of that tape?

>> Hell no.

>> See, sent the original tape to my parents.

>> Yup.

>> Hey, Jake.

>> What's up?

>> You're a real t--

>> You should probably avoid pissing her off.

>> No, Jake.

>> Guys, we got a problem.

[MUSIC]

>> Not so, not so fast, ladies.

>> Which one of you's balls to make long cocked?

>> Nice name.

>> Thanks.

>> Too bad you're not going to be able to use it anymore.

>> Who the hell are you, man?

>> Who the hell am I?

>> I'm the competition.

>> What the hell are you?

>> Come in the mic, town.

>> Pay the ladies twice what I pam?

>> Just after school special bullshit.

>> He's cutting into my business.

>> So now, I'm going to put yours out of business.

>> Get out of here.

>> So here we are back at the beginning, hanging from meet-hocs.

But now we're a voice of become men, and real men just don't scare that easy.

>> [SOUND]

>> That is it for my balls.

>> Start with this one.

>> Me?

>> What in me?

>> You was a conceakin' idea.

>> Fire for me.

>> You won't kill you, I mean.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're taking.

>> Right.

>> It was all his idea.

>> Even better.

>> Just get the leader.

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> We squirm and kid, and of course, when you struggle.

>> We got Briona!

>> What?

>> We free soul copies of our video.

>> [LAUGH]

>> [LAUGH]

>> I'll make 50.

>> I'm honored.

>> [LAUGH]

>> 63,200, 12.

>> It's a lot of product, Vic.

>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got orders all over the world.

I swear, all over the world.

>> And we'll give you the website if you let us go.

>> Come down.

>> [SOUND]

>> [SOUND]

>> So, what's your cut?

>> Absolutely nothing.

>> Except, what except there's no except.

>> Except, you promise to supply us with quality born free of charge.

He could come in handy, I mean.

>> [SOUND]

>> So we could go front.

>> And what, no, that's.

>> And you promise to maintain the vision of after school special.

>> And what, pray tell my deputy.

>> The key is to try to remember what it was like before you had sex.

>> What did you use to fantasize about a math teacher who bends over a little too far?

The door of a girl's locker room opens just a sliver.

Going over to your friend's house and catching his mom walking out of a shower.

>> Dude, like you deacons mom.

>> Oh, have I been there?

>> Guys.

>> All right, deal.

>> I'm going to eat those master tapes.

>> Kid, you don't need a job.

Give me a call.

>> [SOUND]

>> Next, Mr.

>> Ramelot.

>> Vic Ramelot.

>> Good name.

>> Thanks.

>> [SOUND]

>> Vic, okay?

>> Yeah, how about that?

>> Good, I'm going to go to.

>> It's me, what's the matter?

>> I damn kid.

>> I'm here to remind of me.

The way I was, my own is his age.

[MUSIC]

>> [SOUND]

>> [SOUND]

>> Come here.

>> Glad it out.

>> Glad it out.

>> [LAUGH]

>> Come on.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah, yeah, I'm good, I'm good, thanks.

>> You hungry?

>> I should eat.

>> Yeah?

>> I need you to go through the mail today.

>> Not yet.

>> I'll go get it.

>> [SOUND]

>> Hurry, hurry, hurry!

>> It's a mini dance, Brad, I'm going to go with you, Sandra.

>> I'm right, right, like the scramble.

[MUSIC]

>> What are you doing?

We don't get out of sight, man.

>> Not about to lose my life so with this.

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

[MUSIC]

>> Look over something in the mail, Deakin?

>> No, I just--

>> Maybe something you didn't want us to see?

>> Mom, Dad.

>> It's too late, Deakin.

>> If you just wait a sec.

>> I just want you to know how deeply disappointed we are in you.

[MUSIC]

>> I can't explain.

>> You can explain?

We'll explain it to me, son.

Explain it.

>> Believe it, if you just give me a chance.

>> How in the hell can you ever explain this?

>> How did you manage to get a C in biology?

>> You are a spray day student boy.

>> I knew we shouldn't have led him to have a girlfriend.

>> Let alone two.

>> Is that what this is about?

My biology class?

Mom, Dad, I'm 17.

I'm driving, I got a girlfriend.

But the fact is, you guys treat me as if I'm a little kid.

Is it too much to ask for to be a normal teenager with a normal life?

>> I don't like your tone, son.

>> I just want to have phone with my friends.

>> Okay.

>> Okay then.

But make sure we don't get a repeat performance in the finals.

>> I won't.

[MUSIC]

>> Stop.

>> You don't have it.

But neither do I.

>> You don't have it.

>> You don't just need it.

>> I need it.

>> I wish I could do you pay us a break.

>> Ah.

>> How much do you know?

>> Pretty much everything.

>> Mr. Slam.

>> These are my demands.

[MUSIC]

>> Don't.

>> [MUSIC]

>> Are you kidding?

Who do they made the first pre-order?

[MUSIC]

>> Look at that.

>> I have an idea.

>> [MUSIC]

>> It will be right here at the school.

>> So I guess we all got what we deserve, huh?

>> No money, no power.

>> No women, only Montana would be pissed.

>> Speak for yourselves, guys.

>> I don't know if we got what we deserved or not.

>> Okay, probably not.

Rachel dumped that guy and we got back together.

We haven't had sex yet, but somehow I'm okay with that.

You know, I don't think I want to rush at this time.

And even though we can't quiet about the film, we're got around.

>> It's like Coop said, we became legends of the school.

>> And Fred finally learned how to talk to a girl.

>> Hey Fred, I hear you know a thing or two about giving a woman pleasure.

[MUSIC]

>> No, I don't.

[MUSIC]

>> Matt knows the thing or two about giving women pleasure.

>> I know everything.

[LAUGH]

>> We should go out sometime.

>> Oh, I knew you'd come out.

>> Maybe I'll floor a bus could go out.

>> Yeah, it could work, you know, depending on my schedule.

>> So, call me?

>> Oh, most definitely.

>> Go, baby.

>> Ladies, ladies, what's up?

>> All right.

>> See you.

>> Watch where you're going, spanker.

>> I thought I told you, you ought to call me that anymore.

>> Oh, that's all I am sorry.

What are you going to do about it?

>> Some people just never learn.

>> You know, you really shouldn't have mailed that tape back to us.

>> Attention, boy.

>> What is that, guys?

>> I got a prop.

>> Shoot, shoot, shoot.

>> Nice, shoot.

>> Look at that, thank you.

>> Real, well listen.

>> Listen, I got a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny.

>> [LAUGH]

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> Hey, Paul.

>> Re-me-chur ejaculation is nothing to laugh at.

>> It's like I said in the beginning.

>> In high school, everyone's got that one magic moment.

>> First, this was it.

>> Don't over-save that grand-ma-hot, never get hit in that picture.

>> Say Mr. Rama, what?

>> Let's hit a drive girl.

>> I coulda hit it.

[MUSIC]

>> Woo!

>> There's a trick, this chocolat and he'll excuse me.

>> [APPLAUSE]

>> [MUSIC]

>> Yeah, that's just like that.

>> Yeah, that's like that.

>> Yeah, that's like, oh yeah.

>> Boy, what are they always going to show the guy's faces?

>> You know, it's so that guys will think that they can get girls as hot as hers.

The basic rule of porno.

>> That's true.

>> You're right.

>> My God.

>> Is that her basement?

[MUSIC]

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