Original subtitles

- You lose.

- Can you move it to the left?

Can you move it to the right?

Can you move it to the left?

Can you move it to the right?

And stand up, sit down,

fight, fight, fight.

- Good afternoon, students.

This is Principal Hardbutt speaking.

I would like to take this opportunity

to wish each and every one of you

my very best wishes for a happy summer.

Expect for the following,

who will report to my office immediately.

Brad Lovett.

- Shit.

- Steve Hardman.

- Damn.

- Hugh G. Rection.

And Marvin Eatmore.

Please remember, to leave your desks

and lockers neat and tidy

and exit the school in an orderly fashion.

- Buh bye.

See ya.

Have a good summer.

Caio.

See you back in the fall.

- Hey, Jake.

- Look at this.

Look at this.

- Congratulations.

These are the lowest marks ever recorded at Beaver High.

Don't you think four years in grade 12 is enough?

You guys have screwed up every hour

of every day since you set foot on this property.

You've been disrespectful, disruptive,

a complete disgrace.

However, I've decided to give you one more chance

to graduate.

Coxswell Academy runs a special program

for students just like you.

- Special school?

- A college of knowledge for morons.

♪ Boys want to play ♪

♪ Girls want to dance ♪

♪ Maybe its time for a new romance ♪

♪ Now we are loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summertime party ♪

♪ It's time we celebrate ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summer school was there ♪

♪ And its great ♪

♪ Are you ready for a summer of fun ♪

♪ Look out girls ♪

♪ Cause here we come ♪

♪ Hey there baby ♪

♪ Won't you come with me ♪

♪ I got something to show you ♪

♪ That would bend your knees ♪

♪ My legs are shaking ♪

♪ I can feel the heat ♪

♪ My bodys rocking ♪

♪ To a brand new beat ♪

♪ Now we are loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summertime party ♪

♪ It's time to celebrate ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summer school is there ♪

♪ And its great ♪

♪ Can you feel how its gonna be ♪

♪ A night of loving for you and me ♪

♪ My legs are shaking ♪

♪ I can feel the heat ♪

♪ My bodys rocking ♪

♪ To a brand new beat ♪

♪ Now we are ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summertime party ♪

♪ Its time to celebrate ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summer school is there ♪

♪ And its great ♪

♪ Can you feel how its gonna be ♪

♪ A night of loving for you and me ♪

♪ My legs are shaking ♪

♪ I can feel the heat ♪

- Hey guys.

First a survey.

Welcome party

our mission, should we decide to take it,

is to locate and ravage as many woman

on that bus as possible.

- Yeah, look at them.

Little darlings.

The best of the worst.

- Welcome to Coxswell Academy.

I've been assigned to give you your orientation tour.

Here at Coxswell, we believe in a sound mind

and a sound body.

Therefore, before we begin our rigorous program,

we require that you all take a medical exam.

- Medical exam?

- And you're?

- Candy Barr.

- Oh really?

Can I take a bite later?

- This is my friend Tracy

and this is my friend Gail

and Nikki.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Now, when you get inside--

- Aren't you gonna come inside?

- Oh I'll be in there before you know it

but in the meantime,

you'll see signs directing you where to go.

It's very important that you follow the instructions

on those signs.

Gentlemen, if you would,

please go around the corner

and the ladies, follow me.

- (mumbles) one of those lecherous types.

- Yeah, that depends on how gorgeous he is.

- Ladies, your examination.

Doctors.

- Thank you, young man.

- Thank you, sir.

- Over there, please.

Right into the corner.

Now, to begin the examination.

I'm going to ask you young ladies

to strip down to your bras and panties.

Right behind those screens.

- Doctor, I have this little problem.

What if I don't wear a bra?

- Do you have tits?

- Little ones.

- I'm going to make an exception.

You may take the examination.

- Thank you, doctor.

- You are such a genius, master.

- How come he's got a video camera?

- Have you heard of video dating?

- Yeah.

- This is video x-ray.

- Oh.

- Oh, oh my god!

Oh my god!

- Hey, they're not doctors.

- No, but he was.

- Well, well, well

welcome to Coxswell Academy.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Principal Arsenault.

And if you're responsible for that lovely couple,

I don't think you're gonna like it here.

Well, gentlemen.

Let me tell you about Coxswell Academy.

We pride ourselves on tradition

and high academic standards

and nobody steps out of line.

Don't any of you move an inch.

- Jesus, we've already moved nine.

- Hello.

Hi, you must be Ms. Lott.

Welcome to Coxswell Academy.

- Why thank you.

Mr. Arsenault, I'm really looking forward to it.

- Is there any way I can be of assistance to you?

- Um, yes I believe you can.

Can you show me my box, please?

- Certainly, must have your name across the little slot

or something.

- I know but some of these slots

are smaller than others

and I guess that's okay

as long as my mail doesn't get bent in half.

- Um, oh here it is.

Mona Lott.

See you've been getting some mail already.

- Oh I get my share of mail.

- I bet you do.

I was thinking at the first convenient time for you

we should get together

cause I may have another position

you might be interested in trying.

- Oh, well any position under you

would be just fine.

- Well that sounds pretty encouraging.

- Oh and um, in the meantime,

don't forget to tell any students

who might be interested that

I'll be available for private French lessons

in the evening.

- Oh, (speaks French).

- That's very good.

- Thank you.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Alright, you squid brains.

I'm gonna overlook this little stunt of yours

just this one time.

But if you try anything like this again,

I'm gonna make this the most miserable part of your life.

Do I make myself clear?

- Yes, sir.

- Now move out.

- Shit, what a dump.

- Well at least it beats that reform school

they were gonna send us to.

- So where does Arsenault get off, anyway?

I mean this isn't a school,

it's a concentration camp.

- So Bradly, where's all these luscious babes

you promised us?

- So who's in charge around?

A teacher or somebody?

- Nobody, I think we're on our own.

- Alright, anybody want a smoke?

- Sure.

- Spark it up.

- Take your pick.

- The big one.

- Of course.

- maybe this place is gonna be alright after all.

- A ten hut.

Do I smell something burning?

I said do I smell something burning?

Turkish blend.

Now, there will be no smoking,

no drinking, no swearing,

and no screwing around.

Understood?

- Yes.

- Yes, Ms. Von Blow.

- Yes, Ms. Von Blow.

- Good.

Now, beds.

Beds will be made every evening at 10 o'clock.

Lights out every morning before school

and uh...

And uh, try to be good girls.

Whenever you can.

♪ I've been hanging out ♪

♪ At school wondering what to do ♪

♪ With myself ♪

♪ What to do ♪

♪ I seen you walking down the halls ♪

♪ Looking hot as a summer in July ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Summer in July ♪

♪ Is where I want to be ♪

♪ Summer in July ♪

♪ On the beach ♪

♪ Just you and me ♪

♪ Summer in July ♪

♪ I can't take one more day ♪

♪ Summer in July ♪

♪ I need a break, give me a break ♪

♪ School break ♪

♪ Give me a break ♪

- Hey, Laurie, getting my fries?

This sucks.

- No it doesn't.

I think its got potential.

- I'm talking about Coxswell, you moron.

- Yeah too much damn homework.

- Food so bad, I lost my appetite.

- Forget about food.

I'm hungry for sex.

- So where's all these girls we're supposed to meet?

- Yeah I thought we were gonna screw.

- So I can get you guys anything?

- Sure.

Four cokes and give me a little cherry with me.

- You'll be lucky if you find any around here.

- I don't know about that.

Take Hugh for example.

- Man shut up.

Tell the whole.

- Hughie, before this semesters out,

I guarantee that you lose it.

- Yeah, just take a look around this place.

Can't miss.

- Let's turn this situation

into an instinct project.

I propose that we start a point system.

10 points for every girl that we score.

Five for an almost

and two for look see

and a cool 100 for a certain Ms. Mona Lott.

- In order to roll your R's correctly,

the sound must come from deep in the throat.

You must relax the throat muscles.

Now a well lubricated throat is essential

and remember, for good French, you must take

a very long, deep,

breath.

Now you try it.

it's good, it's very good.

Okay, don't forget to study your French over the weekend

for the oral exam on Monday

and the quiz on Wednesday.

Au Revoir.

- Uh, Ms. Lott.

- Steve, was it?

- It still is.

Steve Hardman.

- Well what can I do for you, Mr. Hardman.

- I really need some French.

- I beg your pardon?

- I mean, I really enjoy French.

I'm going to Paris in the fall

and I'd really like to get some French under my belt.

I overheard you say in the office

that you were available for private tutoring.

I thought maybe if you weren't doing anything tonight--

- Oh tonight?

- Yeah.

I could uh, I could do it at your place

or in my room or anything you want.

- Hey you guys.

I was so impressed I bought the whole company.

Von Blow.

- You girls should be ashamed of yourselves.

I've never seen such a disgusting array of perversion.

I'm gonna have to confiscate everything.

- She'll probably wear out my vibrator.

- And if I catch any man in this dormitory,

I'll see to it personally that he sings soprano

for the rest of his life.

- Hi, there.

Sorry I'm late.

I had to pack my suitcase.

- There's something suspicious here.

Come closer, young lady.

What's this hair on your face?

Have you been taking steroids?

- No, have you?

- Quiet.

Don't get smart with me, young lady.

What's your name?

- Brad...

Bradine Lovett.

- What is wrong with your feet?

- They're flat.

- Yeah, like her ass.

- Be quiet.

Well make yourself at home.

- Thank you.

Oh poo, all the beds seem to be taken.

Gee, do you suppose I could share with anyone?

- Oh you can share my bed.

- Maybe I'll just sleep on the floor.

- It's alright, Ms. Von Blow.

Bradine here can sleep with me.

I'm used to it.

- Is that okay, Ms. Von Blow?

- Well just for tonight

but remember what I told you all.

No screwing around.

- We wouldn't dream of it.

- Screw the constitution, all men are not created equal.

♪ Get up and move to the music ♪

♪ Get up and groove to the music ♪

♪ Take a chance ♪

♪ And get out on the floor ♪

♪ Staying up and shaking your body ♪

♪ And don't stop before anybody now ♪

♪ You gonna see ♪

♪ What the others could ever do for you ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Get down on the floor ♪

♪ On the floor ♪

♪ I said ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Get down on the floor ♪

♪ On the floor ♪

♪ Dancing ♪

♪ You were standing on a leather wing ♪

♪ Hey you standing on the railway ♪

♪ Head held high ♪

♪ About to feel it way down low ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You got to take the first step ♪

♪ And let the sound take you on to the next ♪

♪ Step by step by step ♪

♪ Your rhythm here on the dance floor ♪

♪ You hear a sound ♪

♪ You hear it ringing ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You see the sights ♪

♪ That make you want to sing ♪

♪ The dance floor life ♪

♪ And your karmic dance you'll never forget ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Get down on the floor ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Dance the night ♪

♪ Just get down on the floor ♪

♪ On the floor ♪

♪ Hey you standing on the leather wing ♪

♪ Hey you standing on the railway ♪

♪ Head held high ♪

♪ About to feel it way down low ♪

♪ You got to take the first step ♪

- Hi.

- What you doing?

- Taking my contact lenses out.

I'm blind as a bat without them

but who needs to see when you're going to sleep, right?

- Right.

Right.

It's really funny.

You have a very nice laugh, Candy.

- I do?

- Yeah, you do.

Let me see it.

I mean hear it again.

- Sure have a strange way of looking at things, Bradine.

- So I've been told.

- Bradine, why aren't you getting ready for bed?

- Well I--

- First you must take your bath.

- My bath?

It's okay.

I don't really need one.

- Everyone needs a bath

and everyone is going to have one.

If I had my way,

I would make the whole world take a bath.

Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know?

- Rub a dub dub, two girls in a tub.

- There's lots of room if you want to come in.

- No, that's okay.

I'll just sit here and watch,

I mean just wait until you're done.

- We won't be long anyway, Bradine.

- Oh that's okay.

Take all the time you want.

I'll be the official blow dryer.

- There, all done.

Could you hand me a towel, Bradine?

- No.

I'm just joking.

Here.

- If you're modest, Bradine, the door locks.

- Get clean, Bradine.

- Damn it.

- Bradine, I don't hear any splashing in here.

I want to hear lots of splashing

or I'll come in there and wash you myself.

- I'm splashing, splashing.

- I got caught, too.

- Wasn't that door locked?

- This door?

No, it's busted.

- Oh.

- You don't mind if I jump in, do you Bradine?

I think we're out of hot water.

- Uh, no.

I don't mind.

- You don't have to worry about me, if you're shy,

I can't see a thing without my contacts.

- Right.

Oh, look isn't he cute?

- Cute?

I've heard him called lots of things but never cute.

- He's pink, isn't he?

I can't tell without my contacts on.

Pass him over here, I just want to squeeze him.

- Oh the duck.

- Look at him, he's so cute.

could you pass me the soap, please?

- Sure.

Oh, oops.

- Oh I'll get it.

- No I will.

- No, no I will.

I know where it is.

It's right between your legs.

- It is, it is.

- Where is it?

You must be sitting on it.

- I hope so.

- Oh boy.

- Oh.

- Well I'll wash yours if you wash mine?

- Sure.

- Here you go.

Hey Bradine.

- What?

- You don't happen to know any nice looking guys

around here do you?

- Well, actually there's one guy

who kind of turns me on.

His name is Brad.

- Yeah, what he's like?

- Well, firstly, he's a hunk.

- A real hunk, huh?

- Ah numero uno.

- Okay, you're turn.

- Oh, my turn.

- So Bradine, about this guy Brad.

Bradine, did you forget to take your bra off?

- My bra?

This bra.

Well it's wash and wear, it's okay.

- Could you introduce me to him?

- To?

- Brad.

- Oh Brad.

Candy, I want,

yeah I'll be happy to.

- Great.

Okay you're all done.

- All done, okay.

- Rinse off.

♪ I've got a rubber in my wallet ♪

♪ One of those little whatchamacallits ♪

♪ I'm saving it for that special day ♪

♪ When the right girl comes my way ♪

♪ It leaves a circular impression ♪

♪ From all those years of compression ♪

♪ I've had it since I turned 13 ♪

♪ I got in a vending machine ♪

♪ Circular impression ♪

♪ Leading to a state of depression ♪

♪ In my wallet ♪

♪ I can't wait to install it ♪

♪ No, I can't wait ♪

♪ It's in a little tin foil packet ♪

♪ Sometimes I'm tempted to unwrap it ♪

♪ It's got a reinforced border ♪

♪ I hope its still in working order ♪

- There's a man in here.

You!

Oh you pervert. - What?

- I'll get you.

Get him, girls.

Don't let him get way.

I'll kill you, I'll kill you.

- Get away from me, you Nazi gorilla.

- Get him, get him.

You come back here

you kid you.

- You still want to meet Brad?

- Sure.

- You just did.

- Stock market analysts predict the constant

up and down fluctuations have a good chance

of reaching a climax during the night.

- Oh you must be the student.

She's in the shower.

- Okay.

- Mona, your students here.

- Oh my goodness, Steve's here.

- I'm sorry, I've got to run.

- That's okay, thank you.

- You're welcome, bye.

- Steve?

- She says.

I knew it.

I'm in the shower.

Why don't you join me.

- Good evening, Ms. Lott.

I just happened to be in the neighborhood.

Thought I'd drop by.

Yeah, then after a couple drops of the old bubbly,

I'll hit her with...

Well Mona, why don't we get into that new position

we've been talking about?

- I'm coming my darling.

- Steve!

What are you doing?

Get out of here!

This instant.

I really mean it.

Right now.

- What did I do?

Forget to speak French?

- Get out!

You pervert.

You are an animal, a sex fiend.

- You forgot degenerate.

- You little worm.

How dare you make poor Ms. Lott

the victim of your animalistic urges?

And after I've gone out of my way

to make her feel comfortable and secure here

at Coxswell and then you go pull a boner like that?

You like water, Hardman?

- I like water, sir.

- You like getting your perverted little hands wet?

- I guess I'm gonna have to answer yes to that one,

also, Sir.

- Well far be it from me to deny you

your pleasures.

I think I have just the thing

that will keep you happy all term long.

- Well doctor, must take a lot of patience to do that.

- Don't forget class.

- Nothing?

- Nothing.

- Not even a feel?

- I got a feel alright, for scrubbing floors.

- Could of done better than that at the fitness center.

- Yeah from the jets of the whirlpool, huh?

- Come on, didn't I tell you guys that Mona

belongs to the same club that I do?

I saw her there the other day.

- Mona Lott, the French teacher?

- None other.

- Is that a fact?

- Yeah, she's really into

heavy massages, too.

- You're gonna have to get a membership.

- No, i can't--

- Hi, Bradine.

- Who's Bradine?

- It's a long story, Marvin.

- Wet one, too.

- Working hard?

- Sort a.

I'm trying to figure out the logistics

of fourth dimensional film making.

You know, 4D.

- I like a man with a good head.

- Oh really?

- So you guys, we were just wondering

if you'd like to come to a beach party with us later?

- Sure.

- Yeah, when and where?

- Around the bluffs, three o'clock.

- Alright.

- Fabulous.

- Great.

♪ I want to tell you about a dance ♪

♪ That's taking all night to rock it ♪

♪ Just get together with your partner ♪

♪ School yourself into a socket ♪

♪ Come on and do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Come on and do the spoon ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on and do it ♪

♪ And do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Come on and do the spoon ♪

♪ Aint no classes needed ♪

♪ No study time required ♪

♪ Just get it on up ♪

♪ Get high ♪

♪ Until you can't get higher ♪

♪ Come on and do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Come on and do the spoon ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on and do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Yeah do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Come on and do the spoon ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on and do the spoon ♪

- Are you warm yet, Steve?

- Sure am.

My pokers red hot.

- Watch it, Marvin.

You're gonna burn your wienie.

- Here, Tracy, you want one?

- Alright.

- Hey 10 points if you get it in my mouth.

- Get it in, Marv. - Come on Marvin.

- Come on, come on.

- Forget it.

It's not big enough anyway.

- Spent a lot of time in the water together, lately.

- Yeah, whenever I'm near you I get wet.

- Hey Tracy.

How bout going for another swim?

- But we've been swimming all day.

- Yeah but uh, that was with bathing suits on.

- Now, where were headed after our bath that night?

- I think it was to bed.

- Skinny dipping in the moonlight?

Alright, let's go.

- Our mentor and founder, J. Peter Coxswell.

Of course, this is only a small scale model.

I want you all to take a step in here

and take a good look at this.

I mean not only is this a beautiful piece of artwork

on its own right,

I also think it captures the intellectual

and moral strength of which this school prides itself on.

Yes, the renowned sculptor will soon be

arriving from New York to create the full scale model,

under my supervision, of course,

and he assures me that it will be ready in time

for our founder's day celebration.

- That's a nice racket you have there.

- Thanks.

I just picked it up this morning.

- Nice and tight, just the way I like it.

- Well you know what they say,

the tighter the better.

- Yeah but uh,

the secrets all in the stroke.

- Oh do you like to play?

- I've played with some of the best of them.

- Well if you're serious, our club is looking

for an instructor.

As you can see, I really do need the lessons.

- Well as I said before, Claudia,

it's all in the stroke.

Some ladies like a hard fast stroke

while others seem to prefer a long slow follow through.

As for myself, I enjoy doing it both ways.

- Which do you think is best for me?

- There's only one way to find out.

- Jeez.

- This is the lesson I've been looking forward to most.

- See ya on the green.

- What's that noise?

- Nothing.

- Somebody's coming.

- I know.

- Sorry, buddy.

I have to play it where it lies.

- A little hydrochloric ...

now for some real special effects.

Goodbye, bathing suits.

- Hi, girls.

- Hi, Marvin.

- Are you gonna be swimming for awhile?

- Sure.

- Great.

I'll be back in a minute.

- You know you girls are gonna be just perfect

in my new film.

Wet Dreams.

It's all set out there.

Here, this ones coated in zinc (mumbles).

- Hey Caroline, you've lost your bathing suit.

- Hey, where's yours?

- Alright, you girls get out of the pool.

It's time for my afternoon laps.

- Shit.

- Did you hear me?

Come on, get out of the pool.

Let's go.

I said, get out of the pool

cause its time for my...

God.

- To stimulate sexual desire in the female,

apply vigorous pressure to the soldier blades.

Subject will become sexually aroused.

Hey, heres your 200 bucks.

- Okay, but you no be very long.

- Don't worry about me.

I got the fastest fingers in town.

- I'm ready, Hung Lo.

- Oh.

Me ready too, Missy Lott.

Feel good Missy?

- (mumbles)

- Takey off, missy.

- No, of course not.

- Oh I'm so sorry, missy.

So sorry.

So sorry.

Just checking.

Missy feel sleepy?

- No, no.

Just nice and relaxed.

- Missy sure?

- Yes.

- Shit.

What that do to missy?

- It makes my big toes feel numb.

- How about that?

- Oh that feels nice.

- Missy like more?

- Oh yes.

- And that good now missy.

- Oh, oh I don't know.

It feels different somehow.

I'm starting to feel really strange.

- Sure.

Hung Lo have big surprise for missy soon.

- Oh big surprise?

- Missy like very much.

- Oh yes.

Ow!

Hung Lo, I think you've broken my neck.

- Oh so sorry, missy.

So sorry.

- You're not Hung Lo.

- Would you believe I'm his long lost brother,

Well Hung Lo.

- Help!

Help!

- One thousand times.

- How's the arm, Shakespeare.

- So what's the tally out here?

- I'm just figuring it out.

- Hey, make sure you don't count Brad's

poor attempt at the fitness club.

- Did you see anything?

- Yes, she got a great pair of tonsils.

- Should of seen the experiment we did in biology.

- That was a real first hand experience, eh Marvin?

- Yeah.

- Sure it must of felt real different

for somebody else to do it for a change, hey Marv?

- Whoops.

- Whoops.

- Not tonight, big boy.

I've got a headache.

But I'm available anytime for Hughie.

- I'll never figure out woman as long as I live.

- Well you better figure something out, Hughie.

You haven't racked a single point up yet.

- Don't worry about me.

I've got my strategy all planned out.

- Ow!

How was I supposed to know that thing--

Ow!

- Now this new position I'd like to see you in Mona

will be very very satisfying for both of us.

Probably more for me.

- Hold it steady, Marv.

Hold it steady.

Mona Lott screen test.

Take one.

Lights.

Camera.

Action.

- Can you see anything?

- What a pair.

With a body like hers,

I may have to turn this into a double feature.

- What's she doing now, Hughie?

Is she bare naked yet?

there's a huge beast down here.

- Marv, what's going on down there?

- In local news, a recent survey

by a prominent company confirm

that the most sexually frustrated men

are high school principals.

It also...

- It's gonna swallow me whole.

It's big and hairy.

- If I die,, I'll kill you.

- Get it out.

Get it away from here.

- I can't, I can't hold it any longer.

Oh no.

Careful.

- Where you going?

I didn't say cut.

Get back here.

Hi, Ms. Lott.

You're probably wondering what I'm doing up here?

I could say I was here to shoot a new film version

of Romeo and Juliet.

Marv down there, he'd be Romeo

and you, well you'd be Juliet.

But I won't.

Or I could say that I was here canvassing

for the local candidate.

But I won't

actually, I'm just here to gaze your tits.

Ow.

- Every window in the school, twice.

- Upstairs.

- You sure this is gonna be okay?

- Don't worry about it.

My husbands at his office.

No one can stop us now.

- Alright.

- Okay, Claudia.

Now lets see your forehand grip.

Hey hey, take it easy with the zipper.

Oh.

- I'm back, dear.

- Oh my husband.

- Oh shit.

- You've got to get out of here.

- Where am I gonna go?

- Out the window.

- What?

No way.

Oh shit.

- Try under the bed.

- There's no way I'll fit.

- Quickly, under the covers.

- Hi.

- Hi, dear.

I just forgot my briefcase.

So uh, what are you doing in bed?

- Oh I've got a headache.

- Oh a headache?

Well you look kind of sexy.

You know dear, your ass is still firm

after 15 years.

You know, I think I got a remedy for

that headache of yours.

- Honey, we already did it this semester.

- Yeah but what about the finals, babe?

- Class dismissed.

Really, I have a thumper of a headache.

- Yeah well, it is getting kind of late.

And good luck with the thumper

and can you do me a favor?

Try not to wear my white athletic socks

to bed anymore, okay dear?

Thanks.

- Finally, he's gone.

Let's do it.

- Now I've got a headache.

- Well I know just the thing to cure a sore head.

- No, I've got to go.

- I've waited too long for this.

- No really, I can't.

I can't.

Please, no.

- Darling, are you alright?

I'll be right down.

We'll do it in the bushes.

- Come on, Marvin.

If I couldn't, if Steve couldn't,

and if the whiz kid over there couldn't.

How the hell do you think you could score with Mona?

- Show him, Hughie.

- It's easy.

Come here.

- What's that?

- It's a schematic drawing

of the girls changing room.

- Oh you figure out a way for me to get in yet?

- What about the windows?

- The proportional dimensions

indicate it would not be feasible.

- What about the walls?

- Concrete.

Penetration possible only with dynamite.

- No, too messy.

- Hold on.

What's the most optimum way to gain a vantage point

to girl's change room?

- The ceiling is made of false

sound proof paneling solution.

Enter through ceiling.

- The rest is up to you.

- How'd you like that hole, Marvin?

- Biggest hole I've ever been in.

Oh jeez, there's spiders up here.

God I hate spiders.

Oh, oh I think I got one in my mouth.

- Just swallow it, Marvin.

You can eat anything.

- Real funny.

There it is.

Oh Hugh, if you've done homework

then I should be right over the girl's change room.

That computer was right.

I'm making it.

- Okay girls, times up.

- Deana, are you going Friday night?

- Sure yeah, definitely.

Let's bring some drugs that she got.

- Oh what a set.

Oh, Hughie you really ought to see this.

It is wall to wall tits and ass.

I am dead.

I am dead and I have gone to heaven.

- She's coming.

- This is unbelievable.

I'm going absolutely crazy.

These girls are delicious.

- Take it easy, Marv.

It's only half an hour to lunch time.

- Oh she's coming, she's coming.

She's coming just like you said she would.

Oh she's going for her belt.

Oh my god, oh she's gonna do it.

She's gonna do it.

She's gonna take all her clothes off.

- Easy Marv, she's gonna hear.

- Oh look, look.

There goes her skirt.

Oh would you look at those legs?

They're gorgeous.

And her sweater.

And, oh she's down to her brassiere and panties.

Get a load of those talookas.

- Shit.

- Thank you very much.

- Oh she's gonna, she's gonna.

She's gonna take her bra off.

I've fallen in love.

Oh it's off.

Oh you guys should see this.

Mona Lott in the nude.

Hi, Ms. Lott.

Hi, Ms. Von Blow.

- I'll level with you boys.

You are this close to being expelled.

- That's probably the size of Arsenault.

- But I'm not gonna expel you.

From here on in, you are under my personal supervision.

To begin with, you will have a curfew at eight PM.

You are banished from regular classes

and you are banished from the swimming pool

and you're banished from any contact

with a member of the opposite sex.

Now get out of my sight.

- I can't take any more of this.

♪ Oh girls ♪

- This sucks.

- No fun.

- Gentlemen.

I think the time has come to say, screw it.

Tonight, we party.

♪ Are you ready for a summer of fun ♪

♪ Look out girls cause here we come ♪

♪ Boy wanna play ♪

♪ Girls wanna dance ♪

♪ Maybe its time for a new romance ♪

♪ Now we are ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summertime party ♪

♪ Its time to celebrate ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summer school ♪

♪ We're there and its great ♪

♪ Hey there baby ♪

♪ Won't you come with me ♪

♪ I got something to show you ♪

♪ That will bend your knees ♪

♪ My legs are shaking ♪

♪ I can feel the heat ♪

♪ My bodys rocking ♪

♪ To a brand new beat ♪

♪ Now we are ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summer time party ♪

♪ It's time to celebrate ♪

♪ Loose screws ♪

♪ Breaking away ♪

♪ Summer school ♪

♪ We're there and its great ♪

- Alright, how y'all doing?

Yeah it's gross out night here tonight

at the old Pig Pen.

That's right.

Cool it, honey.

You're gonna make me harder than Japanese arithmetic.

Alright, get out of there.

Y'all ready for some good old down home hog wallowing?

Alright, we're gonna get a couple of our little piglets

up here right now for our wet t-shirt contest.

Alright ladies, come on up here.

Alright, which one of you hogs

wants to come up here and titillate

one of these fine young things?

- Hughie, Hughie.

- Alright, get yourself up here.

♪ Sometimes a better way to find it ♪

♪ And find a way to lose it ♪

♪ Time off baby ♪

♪ Set your mind on some ♪

♪ Don't you want to jump for joy ♪

♪ Do you want to jump for you joy ♪

♪ I'm your boy ♪

♪ If you want to jump for joy ♪

♪ I'm your boy ♪

♪ If you want to jump ♪

♪ Jump jump jump ♪

♪ Jump ♪

♪ If you're looking to get serious ♪

♪ You're talking to the wrong man ♪

♪ But if you want to get delirious ♪

♪ I think I got the right plan ♪

♪ All you want to do is ♪

- Well, Ms. Lott, I'm so glad you could join me this evening

for a nice quiet dinner where we could

really get to know each other.

Then afterwards, I'm sure we can come to some understanding

about that new position that I'd just love

to see you in.

- I can't wait.

- The cheek of the week contest.

That's right.

You heard me.

Cheek number one looks like a little bit of fun.

Number two.

You know what you gonna do.

Number three, she should be down on one knee.

Number four, don't shake it no more.

Number five, oh lets see if this ladies alive.

Number six, my god look at that mix.

Finally, all the way to heaven with number seven.

That's right guys, now we're gonna find out

who our winner is here

and you all got a number in your head, I know you have.

Alright, is this gonna be what number guys?

Number five?

Alright, doll, what's your name?

- Nikki Nystroke.

- Oh Nikki Nystroke.

My god.

Show us your winning style, honey.

- This is the Pig Pen?

Oh can't we go somewhere else, instead?

- Oh don't worry about the name.

It's got the best pork chops in town.

- Alright all you dirty old hogs out there.

I want you to give me a wild boar.

Let me hear you give me a wild boar.

- Right here, right here, right here.

- Yeah you.

- Me?

Can I take my assistant?

- You bring em all.

That's right.

Come up here.

We got ya.

Now ladies, pick yourself a guy.

Now the three ladies.

Alright, now the other three, just say goodbye.

There they go.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Alright.

Now you all know the rules.

First, you got to cover the ladies from head to toe

with whipping cream

and then you got to lick off every inch.

Are you ready?

Set.

Go!

♪ If you're looking to be serious ♪

♪ You're talking to the wrong man ♪

- I don't think I like this place.

- What, are you kidding me?

Trust me, we're gonna have a great time here.

Trust me.

Let's get a table over...

- Oh shit.

- You are expelled and if I see any of your faces around

here I'll have you arrested for trespassing.

Now get the hell out of here, now.

- That's the last straw.

- No it isn't.

We got lots more, guys.

- So what now?

- Go home, I guess.

- No graduation.

- No diploma.

- No college.

I guess that's what hurts the most.

- What, missing a college education?

- Na, no college babes.

- Speaking of babes, what are the point standings, Hughie.

- Chances of this happening are 9,378 to one.

But we're all tied.

- If any of us had scored with Mona

they would of won.

- Yeah and we never found if she was a real blonde or not.

So what.

Neither did Arsenault.

- We sure showed him.

- Bullshit.

That's nothing compared to what he did to us.

- There must be someway to get even with him

for throwing us out of school.

- I know a way.

- What?

- You'll see.

Okay guys.

The coast is clear.

- Hughie, you sure this is gonna work?

- Don't worry, guys.

When this baby blows,

Arsenault will be in for the surprise of his life.

Where's the can of aphrodisiac?

- I think that's what Marvin's sniffing.

- Come on, Marv.

Eat all of it.

- Hi.

- Its gonna be great.

Plenty room in the back.

Oh its so nice of you to make it.

- Hi.

- Always nice to see new faces here at Coxswell.

- Oh thank you.

We wouldn't miss this for the world.

- Hi, how you doing?

Nice of you to make it.

Do you have a brother that goes here?

Oh.

Hello.

- Hi, nice to be here.

- Nice, nice.

- Hi, aren't you in my French class?

- Great, you guys finally made it.

- Yeah, is everything ready?

- All set.

- Hello, Mr. Chairman.

How are you?

Glad, we're all honored that you could make it today.

- Well as chairman of the board of education,

its my duty to see that the memory of a man

like J. Peter Coxswell is treated

with all due respect.

As you know, he was my great great grandfather

and today's event is very important to me.

- Well I've seen to it personally

that this will be a memorable occasion.

- I hope so.

Let's go in, shall we?

- Thank you and welcome everyone.

Today is a very special day in the annals

of Coxswell Academy.

A day that will go down in history.

A day you will be proud to tell your children

and grandchildren, I was there.

To commemorate this historic occasion,

I would like to present a monument of our founder

and inspirational leader, J. Peter Coxswell.

Ms. Lott, if you would do us the honors please?

- My pleasure, Mr. Arsenault.

- A magnificent job, sir.

- Well thank you very much

and thank you, Ms. Lott.

Excellent work as usual.

In addition, I have put together a short film

presentation outlining the history of Coxswell Academy

so could we roll that film right now, please?

Erection Films?

What's this?

- Erection Films, my god.

- This is the wrong film.

- What, oh.

Wet Dreams?

What's this.

- Those damn kids.

They must of switched the film.

- Oh my god.

Oh no, what is this.

I swear, I don't know anything about this.

- Ladies and gentlemen, please.

This is not the film that I ordered.

Please, turn off that projection.

Please turn it off.

This is not the film that I had done.

Mr. Chairman, I have to apologize.

I'm sorry.

Please, this is not what you think.

That's not me.

I can't be me.

Mr. Chairman, I'm so.

I don't know what's going on here.

Cut that film, cut it.

Oh boy.

I sure hope they cut out that part with the bullwhip.

- Make them stop it.

Turn it off.

- Stop stop, turn off.

Cut, cut.

Cut the film.

Turn off that film.

Mr. Chairman, I apologize.

This is not my idea.

I don't know how--

- You're fired, you, you, Arsenault.

That goes for you too, you Jezebel.

- Great, what else could possibly go wrong now?

- Arsenault.

- This is terrible.

- Okay Arsenault, now for some screw fumes.

- Oh my god.

It's aphrodisiac.

- Oh yeah.

Come here.

oh yeah.

yes.

♪ Aint nobody gonna keep us down ♪

♪ We're on the loose ♪

♪ And in your town ♪

♪ The mayor and the police chief ♪

♪ We aint gonna give em no relief ♪

♪ When they tell us what to do ♪

♪ Tell us how to do it ♪

♪ Well hop in the car ♪

♪ Roll down the window ♪

♪ Say hey buddy ♪

♪ Screw you ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it do it do it do it do it ♪

♪ What ♪

♪ Aint nobody gonna keep us down ♪

♪ We're on the loose and in your town ♪

♪ The mayor and the police chief ♪

♪ We aint gonna give em no relief ♪

♪ When they tell us what to do ♪

♪ Tell us how to do ♪

♪ We get in the car ♪

♪ Roll down the window ♪

♪ And say hey buddy ♪

♪ Screw it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it do it ♪

♪ Do it do it ♪

♪ Do it do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it ♪

♪ Do it do it ♪

♪ Do it do it ♪