All language subtitles for 1988.720p.BluRay.x264

%% when I was just
a little girl %%

%% I asked my mother %%

%% what will I be %%

%% will I be pretty %%

%% will I be rich %%

%% here's what she said to me %%

%% que sera, sera %%

%% whatever will be, will be %%

%% the future's
not ours to see %%

%% que sera, sera %%

%% what will be, will be %%

%% when I was just
a child in school %%

%% I asked my teacher
what should I try %%

%% should I paint pictures %%

%% should I sing songs %%

%% this was her wise reply %%

%% que sera, sera %%

%% whatever will be, will be %%

%% the future's not ours to see %%

%% que sera, sera %%

%% what will be, will be %%

Damn.

It's your turn, Heather.

No, Heather.
It's Heather's turn.

Heather.

- Sorry, Heather.
- %% que sera, sera %%

%% whatever will be, will be %%

%% the future's not ours to see %%

%% que sera, sera %%

%% what will be, will be %%

%% que sera, sera %%

Dear diary,

Heather told me
she teaches people real life.

She said,
"real life sucks losers dry."

If you wanna fuck
with the eagles,
you have to learn to fly."

I said, "so, you teach people
how to spread their wings
and fly ?"

She said, "yes."

I said, "you're beautiful."

God, come on,
Veronica.

What is your damage,
Heather ?

Don't blame me. Blame Heather.
She told me to haul your ass
into the caf pronto.

- Back me up, Heather.
- Yeah, she really wants
to talk to you, Veronica.

Okay, I'm going.
Jesus Christ !

Hello, Heather.

Veronica. Finally.

I got a note
of Kurt Kelly's.

I need you to forge a hot and
horny but realistically low-key
note in Kurt's handwriting...

And slip it onto
Martha's "dumptruck's"
lunch tray.

Heather,
I don't have anything
against Martha Dunnstock.

You don't have anything
for her either.

Come on.
It'll be very.

The note will give her
shower nozzle masturbation
material for weeks.

- I'll think about it.
- Don't think.

Veronica needs
something to write on.
Heather, bend over.

"dear Martha,
you're so sweet."

I'm telling you, man,
it would be so righteous...

To be in a Veronica Sawyer/
Heather Chandler sandwich.

Oh, hell, yes.

I wanna get Heather
and put her on my Johnson
and start spinning her around...

Like a goddamn pinwheel.

Punch it in.

[ boy ]
Westerberg feeds the world.
Come on, people.

Let's give that leftover
lunch money to people
who don't have lunches.

God, aren't
they fed yet ?

Do they even have
Thanksgiving in Africa ?

Oh, sure. Pilgrims,
Indians, tater tots.
It's a real party continent.

Sawyer,
guess what today is.

Ouch.
Lunchtime poll ?

So, what's the question ?
Yeah, what's
the question, Heather ?

Goddamn, Heather.
You were with me in study
hall when I thought of it.

I forgot.

Such a pillowcase.

This wouldn't be that bizarro
thing you were babbling about
over the phone last night ?

Of course it is.

I told Dennis if he gives me
another political topic,
I'd spew burrito chunks.

- Oh, Veronica, I'm sorry.
- Betty Finn. Gosh.

I'm really sorry
I couldn't make it to your
birthday party last month.

That's okay. Your mom
said you had a big date.

I'd probably miss
my own birthday for a date.
Don't say that.

I was looking around
the other day
and I dug up, uh,

These old photographs.

Oh, wow.
These are great.

Come on, Veronica.
I was talking
to somebody.

Oh, great.
Here comes Heather.

Oh, shit.

Hi, Courtney.
Love your cardigan.

Thanks. I just
got it last night
from limited.

Like totally blew
my allowance.

Now, check this out.

You win $5 million
from the publisher's
sweepstakes.

And the same day
that that big Ed guy
gives you the check,

Aliens land on the earth
and say they're gonna blow up
the world in two days.

- What do you do ?
- [ boy ] that's easy.

I'd just slide that wad
over to my father,

'cause he is like one
of the top brokers
in the state.

If I got that money,
I'd give it all
to the homeless. Every cent.

You're beautiful.

If you're gonna
openly be a bitch--

Heather, why can't
we talk to different
kinds of people ?

Fuck me gently
with a chain saw.

Do I look like
mother Teresa ?

If I did,
I probably wouldn't mind
talking to the geek squad.

Did you see that ?
Heather number one
just looked right at me.

Does it not bother you
that everybody in this school
thinks that you're a piranha ?

Like I give a shit.

They all want me
as a friend or a fuck.

I'm worshipped
at Westerberg.
And I'm only a Junior.

I can't believe this.
We're going to a party at
Remington university tonight...

And we're brushing up
on our conversational skills
with the scum of the school.

Hi.
Hi.

So, this is what's called
a lunchtime poll.

You win $5 million
in the publisher's sweepstakes.

And the same day
that what's-his-face
gives you the check,

Aliens land on earth.

They're gonna blow up
the world in two days.

What are
you gonna do
with the money ?

I'd go to Egypt...
With a girl.

I'd use the money
for an end-of-the-world
get-together.

I'd pay Madonna
a million bucks
to sit on my face...

And have her ride
like the Kentucky derby.

That's gotta be the most
spooky-ass question
I ever heard.

This is important.
After taxes,
I'll only be getting--

- She should pay me, though.
- You go to the zoo
and you get a lion.

And then you put
a remote-control bomb
up its butt.

And then there's
social security,
legal fees--

You push the button on the bomb,
and you and the lion
die like one.

What ?

Oh, my God.
Here we go.

[ cackling ]

Hi, Veronica.
A five keeps
an Infant alive.

You wanted to be a member
of the most powerful clique
in school.

If I wasn't already
the head of it,
I'd want the same thing.

Come on, Veronica.
You used to have
a sense of humor.

Veronica,
could you come back
here a minute ?

A true friend's work
is never done.

Gross.
Gross.

Grow up, Heather.
Bulimia is so '87.

Maybe you should see
a doctor.
Yeah, maybe.

Come on, Heather.
Let's take another look
at today's lunch.

God, Veronica,
drool much ?

His name
is Jason Dean.

He's in
my American history.

Hello, Jason Dean.

Greetings
and salutations.

You a Heather ?
No.

I'm a Veronica...
Sawyer.

This may seem like
a really stupid question.

There are
no stupid questions.

You inherit $5 million
the same day aliens
land on the earth...

And say they're gonna
blow it up in two days.

What do you do ?

That's the stupidest
question I've ever heard.

Who's that guy in the coat
think he is anyways ?

Bo Diddley ?

Veronica's into his act,
no doubt.

I don't know. Probably
row out to the middle
of the lake somewhere,

Bring along a bottle
of tequila,

My sax and, uh, some Bach.

How very.

Come on, Veronica.

Later.
Definitely.

Let's kick his ass.

Shit, ram.
We're seniors, man.

We're too old
for that kind of crap.

Let's give him
a good scare, though.

You're gonna eat this ?

What did your boyfriend say
when you told him you were
moving to Sherwood, Ohio ?

Answer him, dick.

Hey, ram, doesn't
this cafeteria have
a "no fags allowed" rule ?

Oh, yeah. They seem
to have an open-door policy for
assholes, though, don't they ?

What did you say,
dick-head ?

I'll repeat myself.

God, they won't expel him.
They'll just suspend him
for a week or something.

He used a real gun.
They should throw
his ass in jail.

[ Veronica ]
no way. He used blanks.

All J.D. really did
was ruin two pairs of pants.

Or maybe not even that.
Can you bleach out
urine stains ?

You seem pretty amused.
I thought you had given up
on high school guys.

Never say never.

So, what are you
gonna do, Heather ?

Take the two shots
or send me out ?

Did you have
a brain tumor
for breakfast ?

First you ask
if you can be red,

Knowing that
I'm always red.

Oh, shit.

It's your turn, Heather.

- Easy shot, Heather.
- No way, no day.

Give it up, girl.

God,
that was incredible.
Holy shit !

So, tonight's the night.
Are you two excited ?

I'm giving Veronica her shot.
Her first Remington party.

You blow it tonight, girl,
and it's keggers with kids
all next year.

- Why ?
- Why not ?

Heather,
your mother's here.

Come on,
whoever wants a ride.

Bye.
Bye.
Bye-bye.

Bye-bye, girls.

Hey, take a break, Veronica.
Sit down.

So, what was the first week
of spring vacation
withdrawal like ?

- I don't know.
It was okay, I guess.
- Isn't the prom coming up ?

I guess.

Any contestants
worth mentioning ?

Maybe. There's kind
of a dark horse
in the running.

Goddamn, won't someone
tell me why I read
these spy novels ?

'cause you're an idiot.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

You two.

Great pate,
but I got to motor...

If I wanna be ready
for that party tonight.

[ Heather ]
corn nuts.
B.Q. Or plain ?

B.Q.

[ J.D. ]
you're gonna pull
a super chug with that ?

No, but if you're nice,
I'll let you buy me
a slushee.

I see you know
your convenient-speak
pretty well.

Yeah, well, uh, I've been
moved around all my life.

Dallas,
baton rouge, Vegas.

Sherwood, Ohio
has always been
a snappy snack shack.

Any town, anytime.
You pop a ham and cheese
in the microwave...

And feast
on a turbo dog.

Keeps me sane.

Really ?

That thing you pulled
in the caf today
was pretty severe.

Yeah, well,
the extreme always seems
to make an impression.

Did you say
a cherry or a coke slushee ?

I didn't.

Cherry.

Great bike.

Yeah. Just a humble
perk from my dad's
construction company.

You seen
the commercial, right ?

"bringing every state
to a higher state."

Wait a minute.
Jason Dean.

Your pop's
big bud Dean construction ?

It must be rough
moving place to place.

Well, everybody's life
has got static.
Is your life perfect ?

Oh, yeah.
I'm on my way to a party
at Remington university.

Mm.
[ horn honks ]

No, my life's
not perfect.

I don't really like
my friends.

Yeah, I, uh--
I don't really like
your friends either.

Well, it's just like--
they're people
I work with...

And our job is being
popular and shit.

Maybe it's time
to take a vacation.

Hello, ladies.
Throw your coats
on the floor.

Uh, Veronica,
this is brad.
Excellent.

Did you girls bring
your partying slippers, huh ?
Let's party.

She loves to party.

Dear diary,
I want to kill,

And you have to believe
it's for more than just
selfish reasons,

More than just a spoke
in my menstrual cycle.

You have to believe me.

It's so great to be able
to talk to a girl and not
have to ask what's your major.

I hate that.

So, when you go to college,
what subjects do you think
you'll study ?

Come on, David.
Shouldn't we get back
to the party ?

We will.

It's just that
you're so hot tonight.

I can't control myself.

[ zipper unzips ]

Oh, Christ, I can't explain it,
but I'm allowed
and understanding...

That my parents
and these Remington university
assholes have chosen to ignore.

I understand
that I must stop Heather.

How's my little
cheerleader, huh ?

Oh, I know everyone
at your high school
isn't so uptight.

Now, look, I don't feel
so good, okay ?

Let's do it on the coats.
It'll be excellent, huh ?

You know, I have
a little prepared speech...

I tell my suitor
when he wants more
than I'd like to give him.

- "gee, I had a really nice--"
- save the speeches
for Malcolm x.

I just wanna get laid.

You don't deserve
my fucking speech.

Betty Finn
was a true friend...

And I sold her out
for a bunch of swatch dogs
and diet cokeheads.

Killing Heather
would be like offing
the wicked witch of the west.

Wait. East. West.
God, you sound like
a fucking psycho.

What's your damage ?
Brad's saying you're
being a real cous.

Heather, I feel really sick
like I'm gonna throw up,
so can we please jam now ?

No. Hell, no.

[ vomiting, coughing ]

Tomorrow I'll be kissing
her aerobicized ass,

But tonight, let me dream
of a world without Heather,

A world where I am free.

You stupid fuck.

You goddamn bitch.

You were nothing
before you met me.

You were playing Barbies
with betty Finn.

You were a bluebird.
You were a brownie.

You were
a girl scout cookie.

I got you
into a Remington party.

What's my thanks ?
It's on the hallway carpet.

- I got paid in puke.
- Lick it up, baby.
Lick it up.

Monday morning you're history.
I'll tell everyone
about tonight.

Transfer to Washington.
Transfer to Jefferson.

No one at Westerberg s
gonna let you play
their reindeer games.

[ objects clatter ]

Dreadful etiquette.
I apologize.

That's okay.

I saw the croquet
set up in the back.
You up for a match ?

[ J.D. ]
mmm. I thank you.

That was
my, uh, first game
of strip croquet.

Well, you're welcome.

It's a lot more interesting
than just flinging off
your clothes...

And boning away
on a neighbor's swing set.

I don't know.
There's a lot to be said
for throwing off your-- ow !

What a night.

What a life.

They wanted to move me
into high school
out of the sixth grade...

Because I was supposed
to be this big genius.

And then we decided
to chuck the idea...

'cause I'd have trouble
making friends,
blah, blah, blah.

[ exhales ]
now blah, blah, blah
is all I do.

I use my grand I.Q.
To decide what color
gloss to wear...

And how to hit three
keggers before curfew.

Heather Chandler is one bitch
that deserves to die.

No, killing her
won't solve anything.

I say we just grow up,
be adults and die.

Before that,

I'd like to see
Heather Chandler
puke her guts out.

Trust me. She skips
the Saturday morning
trip to grandma's...

Even when
she's not hungover.

We'll just concoct ourselves
a little hangover cure...

That'll, uh, induce her
to spew red, white
and blue then.

[ laughs ]
what about milk
and orange juice ?

What's the upchuck
factor on that ?

I'm a no-rust-buildup
man myself.

Don't be a dick.
That stuff will kill her.

I know. We can
cook up some soup
and put it in a coke.

That's pretty
sick, eh ?

Now, should it
be chicken noodle
or bean with bacon ?

Put a lid on that stuff.
I say we go with big blue here.

What are you
talking about ?

She would never
drink anything that
looked like that anyway.

We'll, uh,
put it in this.

She won't be able to see
what she's drinking.

Let me get a cup,
jerk.

Okay.

Milk and orange juice.

Hmm. Well, maybe
we could, like,

Cough up a phlegm glob
in it or something.

No ?
None.

Well, milk
and orange juice
will do quite nicely.
Mm.

You chicken ?

You're not funny.

I'm sorry.

Uh, Veronica ?
What ?

Uh, never mind.
I'll, uh, carry the cup.

[ Veronica ]
morning, Heather.

Veronica.
And Jesse James.

Please.

Hear about Veronica's
affection for regurgitation ?

Heather, I think last night,
we both said a lot of stuff
we didn't mean.

Did we ?
How the hell
did you get in here ?

Um,

Veronica knew you'd
have a hangover, so, uh,
I whipped this up for you.

It's a family recipe.
What did you do, put a phlegm
glob in it or something ?

I'm not gonna drink
that piss.

I knew this stuff
would be too intense for her.

Too intense.
Grow up.

You think I'll drink it just
because you call me chicken ?

Just give me the cup,
jerk.

[ gagging ]

[ coughs ]
corn nuts.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe it.

I just killed
my best friend.

And your worst enemy.
Same difference.

Oh !

What are we gonna tell
the cops ?

"fuck it if she can't
take a joke, sarge" ?

The cops.

I can't believe
this is my life.

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna have to send
my M.I.T. scores to San Quentin
instead of Stanford.

All right. I'm just
a little freaked here.

At least you got
what you wanted,
you know ?

Got what I wanted ?

It is one thing
to want somebody
out of your life;

It is another thing
to serve them a wake-up cup
full of liquid drainer.

All right, we-we, uh--
we did a murder,
and that's a crime.

But, uh--

This was like
a suicide thing, you know ?

- Like a suicide thing ?
- Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, uh,

You can do Heather's
handwriting as well
as your own, right ?

Right ?

Yeah.

"you might think what
I've done is shocking."
yeah.

Um,

"to me, though, suicide
is the natural answer...

To the myriad of problems
life has given me."

That's good,
but Heather would never
use the word "myriad."

This is the last thing
she'll ever write.

She's gonna wanna cash in
on as many 50-cent words
as possible.

Yeah, but she missed "myriad"
on the vocab test
two weeks ago.

That only proves my point more.
The word is a badge
for her failures at school.

Oh. Okay,
you're probably right.

"people think...

"just because you're
beautiful and popular,

Life is easy and fun."

Uh--

"no one understood...

"I had feelings too.

I die knowing
no one knew the real me."

That's good.
Have you done this before ?

Any other principal
would take the same position.

Keep things business as usual.
Heather Chandler is not
your everyday suicide.

She was very popular.

If I let these kids out before
lunch, the switchboard will
light up like a Christmas tree.

I was impressed to see that
she made proper use of the word
"myriad" in her suicide note.

I find it
profoundly disturbing...

That we're told
of the tragic
destruction of youth,

And all we can think
to talk about is...

Adequate mourning times and
misused vocabulary words ?

Oh, for Christ--

We must revel
in this revealing moment.

Look, I suggest that we
get everybody together,

Both students and teachers,
in the cafeteria...

And just...
Talk... And feel...

Together.

Thank you, Ms. Fleming.
You call me
when the shuttle lands.

Now, is this Heather
the cheerleader ?

That would be
Heather McNamara.

Oh, damn. I'd be willing to go
a half a day for a cheerleader.

God, it's unfair.

It's just so unfair.

We should get off
a whole week,
not just an hour.

Write the school board.

Watch it, Heather.
You might be digesting
food there.

Yeah, where's
your urge to purge ?
Fuck it.

[ McNamara ]
look.

Heather left behind
one of her swatches.

She'd want you to have it,
Veronica.

She always said you couldn't
accessorize for shit.

Sorry to hear
about your friend.

Thought she was
your usual airhead bitch.

I guess I was wrong.
We all were.

[ McNamara ]
what a waste.

Oh, the humanity.

[ McNamara ]
Veronica ?

Veronica ?
What are you doing ?

I'm just so...

Thrilled...

To finally have an example
of the profound sensitivity of
which a human animal is capable.

That example
is Heather Chandler.

I have her note.
[ students ]
ooh !

I wanna pass this note
around the class...

So you can all feel
its pathetic beauty
for yourself.

And while we do this,

I think it's a good
opportunity to share the...

Feelings that this suicide
has spurred in all of us.

Now, who would like
to begin ?

I heard
it was really gnarly.

She sucked down a bowl
of multipurpose deodorizing
disinfectant...

And then... Smash !

Uh, Tracy, let's not
rehash the coroner's report.

Let's talk emotions.

Um, Heather and I
used to go out,

But she said I was boring.

But now I realize
I really wasn't boring.

It's just that she was
dissatisfied with her life.

That's... Very good, Peter.

[ laughs ]

[ fake sobbing ]

Are we gonna
be tested on this ?

We wore the same size, and
sometimes we could borrow
each other's clothes...

And mix it up;
it was fun.

I remember I won her,
um, a rhino...

At the 4-h club.
Oh, you're an asshole.
Mute him.

We liked the same kind
of clothes.

Heather, how many networks
did you run to ?

It's just not gonna
be the same here
without her.

What are you talking about ?
You hated her; she hated you.

Every English class
I looked forward
to seeing her.

Heather Chandler's
more popular than ever now.

Scary stuff.
Yeah.

[ man's voice ]
hey, son, I didn't
hear you come in.

Hey, dad,
how was work today ?

It was miserable.

Some damn tribe
of withered old bitches...

Doesn't want us
to terminate
that fleabag hotel,

All because
Glenn miller and his band
once took a shit there.

Just like Kansas.
Remember fucking Kansas ?

Yeah, that was the one
with the wheat, right ?

Save the memorial
oak tree society.

Showed those fucks.

Yeah, 30 of those
fourth of July fireworks
attached to the trunk.

Arraigned but acquitted.
Gosh, pop,

I almost forgot
to introduce my girlfriend.
Oh.

Veronica, this is
my dad. Dad, Veronica.
Hi.

So, why don't you ask
your little friend
to stay for dinner ?

I can't. Uh, my mom's
making my favorite meal
tonight. Spaghetti.

Lots of oregano.
How nice.

Last time I saw my mom
she was waving from
a library window in Texas.

Right, dad ?

Right, son.

Right.

Take a break, Veronica.
Sit down.

So, what was the first day
after Heather's suicide like ?

I don't know.
It was okay, I guess.

[ mom ]
terrible thing.

So, will we get
to meet this dark horse
prom contender ?

Maybe.

Goddamn, will somebody
tell me why I smoke
these damn things ?

'cause you're an idiot.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

You two.

Well, great pate, but I'm
gonna have to motor if I wanna
be ready for that funeral.

[ man ]
I blame not Heather...

But rather a society...

That tells its youth...

That the answers can be found
in the MTV video games.

We must pray that
the other teenagers
of Sherwood, Ohio...

Know the name
of that righteous dude...

Who can solve
their problems.

It's Jesus Christ.
And he's in the book.

[ mourners ]
amen.

O God,
this is a tragic thing...

And sometimes
I have a hard time
dealing with it and stuff.

Please send Heather
to Heaven and all that.

Dear God,
please make sure
this never happens to me...

'cause I don't think
I can handle suicide.

A fast early acceptance
into an Ivy league school, and
please let it be Harvard. Amen.

Jesus God in Heaven,
why did you have
to kill such hot snatch ?

It's a joke, man.
Jeez, people are so serious.

Hail Mary who aren't in Heaven,
pray for all us sinners
so we don't get caught.

Another joke, man.

I prayed for the death
of Heather Chandler many times.

And I felt bad
every time I did it,
but I kept doing it anyway.

Now I know
you understood everything.

Praise Jesus.
Hallelujah.

Hi. I'm sorry.

Technically, I did not kill
Heather Chandler.

But hey, who am I trying
to kid, right ?

I just want my high school
to be a nice place. Amen.

Did that sound bitchy ?

Veronica. What are
you doing tonight ?

I don't know. Mourning.
Maybe watch some TV. Why ?

Well, ram
asked me out tonight,

But he wants
to double with Kurt...

And Kurt doesn't
have a date.

Heather, I have
something going with J.D.

Please, Veronica,
put Billy the kid
on hold tonight.

I'll be your best friend.

So we on tonight, man,
or what ?

I don't know.
I still gotta talk
to Heather, dude.

Great funeral,
huh ?

That pud-whapper
just stepped on my foot.

Let's kick his ass.
Cool off.

We're seniors.
Goddamn geek !

Ah, well,
sit and spin.

That little prick.

[ both yelling ]

You piece of shit fag. You
like to suck big dicks ?
Cut it out.

Say, "I like
to suck big dicks."

Leave him alone, ram.
[ motorcycle approaching ]

[ boy ]
ow !

Say it.

- [ ram ] say it.
- Okay, okay.

You like
to suck big dicks. Ow !

I like to suck big dicks.

Mmm, mmm.
I can't get enough of 'em.
Are you satisfied ?

Don't worry. Ram's
been so sweet lately,
consoling me and stuff.

It'll be really very.

Promise.

Okay, just as long
as it's not gonna be
one of those nights...

Where they get shit-faced
and take us to a pasture
to tip cows.

[ cows mooing,
boys laughing ]

Is it sleeping, dude ?
I think so, man.

Shh.
[ mooing ]

Come here. Shit. Tipping
is the fucking greatest.

Punch it in.

Shit.
On the count of three.

Go ahead.

[ both ]
one, two,

Three !

[ boys laughing ]

When I get that feeling,
I need sexual healing.

Yeah, right, asshole.

[ J.D. ]
what is this shit ?

Doing a favor for Heather.
Double date.

I tried to tell you
at the funeral,
but you rode off.

Another fucking Heather.

[ chuckling ]
I'm sorry. I'm, uh,

Just feeling
a little superior tonight.

Seven schools
in seven states,

And the only thing different
is my locker combination.

Our love is God.

Let's go get a slushee.

I'm not belittling
the food list fund, Peter.

It's just that we're
talking teen suicide here.

The number one song in America
today is "teenage suicide
don't do it" by big fun.

Jesus, man, Westerberg
finally got one of these things
and I'm not gonna blow it.

Great. So Heather
gets the front page...

And I get crammed in
by the taco bell coupon.

Hi, guys.

Came to check up
on this week's
lunchtime poll topic.

Hey, don't worry
about it, Veronica.
Sit down, huh ?

That funeral yesterday
must've really been
rough, huh ?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

We were wondering
if you had any poems
or artwork that Heather did...

That we can put in
the Heather Chandler
yearbook spread.

The what ?
Well-well, take a look.

It's a two-page layout
with her suicide note
right up here in the corner.

It's more tasteful
than it sounds.

I don't know, Dennis.
This stuff leaves
a bad taste in my mouth.

Like last night,
Veronica ?

Excuse me ?

I don't get it.
Well, you did
last night.

Kurt told us
of your little date.

Yeah, and I left him drunk
and flailing in cow shit.

Well, I don't know.
He was really detailed.

Shh.
Shut up, Courtney.

No, don't shut up.
I'd like to know
exactly what I did.

Ah.
Come on, Veronica.

I'll tell you
the lunchtime poll topic.

What the fuck.
Okay.

Now, I rarely listen
to Neanderthals
like Kurt Kelly.

But he said that he and ram
had a nice little sword fight
in your mouth last night.

You know
what I mean ? Hmm ?
Eww !

That son of a bitch.

Hi, Kurt.

Hi. This is
Veronica Sawyer.

Yeah, I didn't expect
to be calling either.
I guess my emotions took over.

I was wondering if you wanted
all those things you've been
saying to really happen.

It's always been
a fantasy of mine
to have two guys at once.

Oh, sure, you can write
to "penthouse forum."
[ chuckling ]

Yeah, in the woods
behind the school.

At dawn.
Don't forget ram.

I don't get the point
of me writing
a suicide note...

When we're just gonna
be shooting them
with blanks.

Well, we're not gonna
be using blanks this time.

You can't be serious.

Listen, my Bonnie
and Clyde days are over.

Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Do you take German ?

French.
All right.

These are
ich luger bullets.

My grandfather snared
a shitload of them
back in WWII.

They're like
tranquilizers.

Only they break
the surface of the skin,

Enough to cause a little blood
but no real damage.

So it looks like
the person's been
shot and killed...

And really they're
just lying there
unconscious and bleeding ?

Right.

See, we shoot Kurt and ram,
make it look like
they shot each other.

And by the time
they regain consciousness,

They'll be
the laughingstock
of the whole school.

Now, the, uh, note's
the punch line.

How did that turn out ?
First tell me the similarity
is not incredible.

It's incredible similarity.

Hmm.
Okay.

[ clears throat ]

"ram and I died the day
we realized we could
never reveal...

"our forbidden love
to an uncaring and
un-understanding world.

"the Joy we shared
in each other's arms was
greater than any touchdown,

Yet we were forced
to live the lie of sexist,
beer-guzzling jock assholes."

That's perfect.

Let's take a look
at some of the homosexual
artifacts I dug up...

To plant at the scene.

All right. I got
an issue of stud puppy.
That's great.

A candy dish.
Joan Crawford postcard.

Let's see.
Some, uh, mascara.

All right, now, here's
the one perfecto thing
I picked up.

Mineral water.

Oh, come on. A lot of people
drink mineral water.
It's come a long way.

Yeah, but this is Ohio.

If you don't have a brewski
in your hand, you might
as well be wearing a dress.

Oh, you're so smart.

Hi, Veronica.

Hi, guys.

Glad you
could make it.

So, should
I just whip it out ?

Well, I've made a circle
on each side of the clearing.

Ram,
you come over here.

Kurt.

When you get
to the circle, strip.

What about you ?

I was kind of hoping
you could rip my clothes
off me, sport.

Oh. Good idea.

Okay.

Count of three, guys.

One,

Two,

Three.

[ gunshot ]
whoa !

You missed him
completely ?

Yeah, but don't worry.
It was worth it just
to see the look on--

Don't move. I'll, uh--
I'll get him back.

Aha !
Fuck.

Now !

Hey, I heard it
that time.

What ?
Another gunshot.
From the woods.

Oh, shit. Let's roll !

Kurt doesn't look
too good.

Just remember
he's left-handed.
[ man ] keep going.

Mother of shit.
Call in.

[ twigs snapping ]
I heard something
out there.

I'm checking it out.

Yeah, this is
officer McCord.

I've got two dead bodies
in the woods behind
Westerberg high.

Whoa ! Oh ! Oh !

[ radio static ]
Milner, can you hear me ?
What's going down ?

Uh, yeah, yeah. I think
what I heard back there
was just a bunny rabbit.

All I got here is
a couple of kids making out
in a station wagon.

Should I pry them apart ?

No, no, forget it. I got
all the answers back here.

Hey.

Are they naked ?

Yeah, so,
what's the deal ?

Suicide.
Double suicide.
They shot each other.

- Hey, that's Kurt Kelly.
- Yeah, and the linebacker,
Ram Sweeney.

Sh-- my God.
Suicide. Why ?

Does this
answer your question ?

Oh, man, they were fags.

Listen up.

"we realized we could never
reveal our forbidden love...

To an uncaring
and un-understanding world."

Jesus h. Christ.

The quarterback
buggering the linebacker.

What a waste.

Oh, the humanity.

So we killed them,
didn't we ?

Of course.

[ screaming ]

Ich luger bullets.
I'm such an idiot.

Look, you believed it
because you wanted
to believe it.

Your true feelings...

Were too gross and icky
for you to face.

I did not
want them dead.

You did too.

I did not.

Did too. You did too.
I did not.

I did not ! Did not !
Did too. Did too !

- Did not ! Did not !
- Those two deserved to die.

Come on. You did.
%% Mary had a little lamb
little lamb, little lamb %%

[ arguing ]

Young love.

Did you hear ?
School's cancelled today...

Because Kurt and ram killed
themselves in a repressed
homosexual suicide pact.

No way.

God !
[ exhales ]

Football season
is over, Veronica.

Kurt and ram had nothing
to offer this school
but date rapes and aids jokes.

Yeah, sure.

Could we make an ice run
before the funeral ?

[ man ]
if there's any way
you could hear me, Kurt buddy,

I don't care that you
really were some... Pansy.

You're my own
flesh and blood and
you've made me proud.

My son's a homosexual,
and I love him.

I love my dead
gay son.

How do you think
he'd react to his son...

That had a limp wrist
with a pulse ?
[ snickering ]

Dear diary,

My teen angst bullshit
has a body count.

The most popular people
in school are dead.

Everybody's sad,
but it's a weird kind of sad.

Suicide gave Heather depth,
Kurt a soul,

Ram a brain.

I don't know
what it's given me,

But I've got no control
over myself when I'm with J.D.

Are we going to prom
or to hell ?

Now,

It seems we were in
a similar position on Monday...

When I thoughtfully suggested
we get everybody together...

For an unadulterated,
emotional outpouring.

But no, you took this...

As an opportunity to play
yet another round
of "let's laugh at the hippie."

- Pauline--
- shut up, Paul.

Now, I've seen
a lot of bullshit--

Angel dust,
switchblades,

Sexually perverse
photography exhibits
involving tennis rackets.

But this suicide thing--

I guess that's more
on Pauline s wavelength.

Well, we're just
gonna write off today.

Then on Friday
she can hold her little...

Love-in or whatever.

Whatever.

Attention.

May I have
your attention, please ?

This school has been
torn apart by tragedy.

I'm here today
to fuse it back again
through togetherness.

I want everyone
to clasp hands.

We need to connect
this cafeteria
into one mighty circuit.

Excuse me, please.
Hey, look,
here comes the TV crew.

Lock your paws.

Ms. Fleming,
we're ready when you are.
Hi there.

Come on. Come on.
Let's go. Up here.

This will be on TV.
Let's show them
how you feel.

Looks like Ms. Flem's
on another one
of her crusades.

With the usual success,
of course.

Come on, freshmen.
Let's get up.

Hi. What's your name ?
Hi. I'm Heather Duke.

[ Fleming ]
that's fine.
Up on your feet. Let's go.

Over here.
Let's see some togetherness.

Is it as good for you
as it is for me ?

Those fish sticks
can wait. Let's go.

Come on, kids.

The whole world
is watching.

[ Fleming continuing ]

Greetings
and salutations.

I'm gonna need a VHS copy
of all this by Monday for
my Princeton application.

[ Veronica ]
that thing this afternoon.

I'm so angry. It was chaos.
Fucking chaos.

What are you
talking about, huh ?
Today was great.

Chaos was great.
Chaos is what killed
the dinosaurs, darling.

Face it.
Our way's the way.

We scare people
into not being assholes.

Our way is not our way.

Oh, yeah. Tell that
to the judge, all right ?

Tell it to Kurt Kelly.

"oh, God, Veronica !"
I'm telling it to you.

God, you can be
so immature.

Oh, you kids are making
too much damn noise.

[ laughing ]
we beat the bitches.
Oh, beautiful.

- The beaver's home.
- Judge told them
to slurp shit and die.

I put a Norwegian
in the boiler room.

[ laughing ]
masterful.

And then, when that blew,

I set off a pack of thermals
I stuck upstairs.

You know, some days
it's great to be alive.
[ laughing ]

[ mumbling ]

Do you like your father ?

Never given the matter
much thought.

[ sighs ]
I liked my mother.

Yeah, they said
her death was an accident,

But, uh, she knew
what she was doing.

She walked into the building
two minutes before my dad
blew the place up.

She waved at me
and then... Boom.

[ man ] dudes,
if I get one more request
for that big fun song,

I'm going
to commit suicide.
Playing our song.

Here it is:
"teenage suicide
don't do it."

- %% teenage suicide %%
- %% don't do it %%

%% teenage suicide %%
%% she blew it %%

- %% teenage suicide
teenage-- %%
- %% don't do it %%

That's it.
We're breaking up.

What ?
You can't bring him back.
You must know that.

I am not trying
to bring anybody back,
except maybe myself.

No !

And to think there was a time
when I actually thought
you were cool.

Man, if you can't
deal with me now,

Then just stay home
and shoot your TV,

Blow up a couple
of toasters or something.

Just don't come to school
and don't mess with me.

You'll be back.

[ sighs ]

Me and Martha "dumptruck" ?

Where did you get this ?

Oh, I just had
the nicest little chat
with miss dumptruck.

Got along famously.

It's kind of scary
how everybody's got
a little story to tell.

You wanna see
the canoeing shots ?

What is this, blackmail ?

I'll give you
a week's lunch money.

I don't want your money.
I want your strength.

I mean Westerberg does
not need mushy togetherness.
It needs a strong leader.

Heather Chandler
was that leader, but--

But she couldn't handle it.

I think you can.

Moby dick is dunked.

The white whale drank some
bad plankton and splashed
through a coffee table.

And now it's your turn
to take the helm.

What about the photographs ?
Oh, don't worry.

I'll ask you
to do me a favor,

And it'll be one
you'll enjoy.

Then you'll
get the negatives
and everything back then.

But in the meantime,

Strength.

Here's a little gift.

From Heather to Heather.

Guess who.
Heather ?

Hello ?
Hello, betty ?
This is Veronica.

I don't believe it.
I'm winning.

Don't you start
getting cocky on me now, girl.

I really missed you.

I know I'm not as exciting
as your other friends.

That is bullshit.
Shoot.

Do you know
I'm still a virgin ?

Okay, I French kissed
Al Springer once,

And it
was a total disaster.

Shoot the ball.

You know, betty,
your daydreams are a lot better
than my realities, believe me.

But now prepare to die.

Ronny !

Well, you're
not just gonna go
for those two shots.

I mean, uh, go ahead,
knock me out.

It's the only way
to win.

It's not my style.

Nice guys finish last.

I should know.

[ duke ]
bravo.

Bravo.

Listen,
I-I got to get home, okay ?

- Okay.
- Thanks.

Bye, betty.

Bye.
Betty, leaving so soon ?

I'm red.

[ crowd cheering ]

[ slurping ]

[ woman ]
the Westerberg suicides
were tough on all of us.

But we shared the pain...

Of losing
three very popular students.

I came into the cafeteria,
asked them to hold hands.

Hey, isn't that
that flake we met
at the open house ?

In a burst
of cleansing synchronicity,

TV cameras
happened on to our path...

- Cleansing synchronicity ?
- And captured this emotional
outpouring of emotion.

Outpouring of emotion ?

[ man ] ha ! Look !
There's Heather.
[ laughing ]

And there's Heather.
Where are you, Veronica ?

Before a teenager decides
to kill himself, there are
certain facts he should know.

After all,
this is a decision
that affects all of us,

And there's only one Chance
to get it right.

[ horn honking,
brakes screeching ]

Getting some super--

Turn that back on.
Can't you see ?

These little programs
are eating suicide up
with a spoon.

They're making it sound
like it's a cool thing to do.

Are you trying to tell me
it is not a time
for troubled youth ?

- Stand up straight.
- All we want is to be treated
like human beings.

Not to be experimented on
like guinea pigs or patronized
like bunny rabbits.

I don't patronize
bunny rabbits.

Treated
like human beings ?

Is that what you said,
little miss voice
of a generation ?

Just how do you think
adults act with other adults ?

You think it's all
just a game of doubles tennis ?

When teenagers complain
that they want to be treated
like human beings,

It's usually because they are
being treated like human beings.

[ sighs ] yeah, well, I guess
I picked the wrong time
to be a human being.

Well, you'll live.

Want some pate ?

[ door closes ]
[ duke ]
hi, everybody.

The door was open.

Veronica, have you heard ?

We were doing Chinese
at the food fair
when it comes over the radio...

That Martha "dumptruck"
tried to buy the farm.

She belly flopped
in front of a car
wearing a suicide note.

Uh, is she dead ?

No.
That's the punch line.

She's alive
and in stable condition.

It's another case
of a geek...

Trying to imitate
the popular people at the school
and failing miserably.

Is that pate ?

I said I was sorry.
You were out of control.

I mean Heather and Kurt
were a shock,
but Martha "dumptruck" ?

Get crucial.
She dialed suicide hot lines
in her diapers.

You're not funny.

Look, Martha couldn't
take the heat,

So she
got out of the kitchen.

Just think
what a better place
this world would be...

If every nimrod
followed her cue.

- Just shut up.
Hot probs is on.
- Oh, shit, yeah.

[ man ] I mean, like,
skipper's okay, but still,
sometimes I feel like--

Like I'm on that island
and Gilligan can just be
so stupid sometimes.

Yeah, well, dude,
just remember,

If it wasn't for the courage
of the fearless crew,

The minnow would be lost,
and you are too.

Next call.

That sounded like
a good one.
Hey, you got the dogcatcher.

My name is Heather--
no, it-- it's not Heather.

No, it--

It's Madonna.
Jeez, no, not that.

Hey, babe,
I need a name.

[ bird tweeting ]

My name is Tweetie.

Tweetie ?
Ooh, tweet.

God has cursed me,
I think.

The last Guy
I had sex with...

Killed himself
the next day.

Failing math.
My whole life is a mess.

I was supposed to be captain
of the cheerleading team.

Oh, man, she knows
we listen to this show.

Holy shit !
We'll crucify her.

My parents
are divorced and stuff.

[ Veronica ]
Heather told everyone
about Heather.

Yes, dear diary, I've cut off
Heather Chandler's head...

And Heather Duke's head
has sprouted back
in its place...

Like some mythological thing
my eighth grade boyfriend
would have known about.

Heather's even doing
the old note trick.

[ sighs ]
I've seen J.D.'s way.

I've seen
Ms. Pauline Fleming s way.

And nothing has changed.

I guess that's Heather's way.

And, Jesus,
what about J.D. ?

I can't get him
out of my head.

Wait.
Where's Heather going ?

Where's Heather going ?

She's going to cry.

[ sparse laughter ]

Fucking
child-protective caps.

Now where's she going ?

Heather.

What are you
trying to do, kill me ?

What are you
trying to do, sleep ?

Suicide is a private thing.

Ohh ! Heather, you're
throwing your life away...

To become a statistic
in U.S.-Fucking-A. Today.

Now, that is about
the least private thing
I can think of.

- What about Heather
and Kurt and ram ?
- [ sighs ]

If everyone
jumped off a bridge,
would you ?

Probably.

You know, if you were
happy every day of your life,
you wouldn't be a human being.

You'd be a game show host.

What do you say
we knock off early,
buy some shoes,

Something lame like that ?

Okay.

So, it's, uh, come to this.

Heather Chandler did polls.
I want you to do a petition,

As a favor,
as the favor.

You've, uh,
heard of the group
big fun, right ?

That's right.
"teenage suicide
don't do it."

Right.
Some teenie bopper rag
says that,

Uh, they want to play a prom.

Now, it could be Westerberg s
if we get everybody's
John Hancock.

I'll get right on it, coach.
Oh, a little gift for you.

I won't be needing it.

Heather ?
Veronica.

Color me stoked, girl.

I've gotten everyone
to sign this petition,

Even the ones who think
big fun are tuneless,
gyro fags.

People love me. You know,
you haven't signed yet.

People love you,
but I know you.

Jennifer Forbes told me
the petition she signed...

Was to put a hot tub
in the cafeteria.

- And Doug Hilton said--
- some people need different
kinds of convincing.

Look, just
sign the petition, okay ?

Don't talk to me
like that, okay ?

Look,
it was J.D. s idea.

He made out
the signature sheet
and everything.

So why don't you
just sign it ?
No.

Jealous much ?

Heather, why can't you
just be a friend ?

Why are you
such a mega bitch ?

[ chuckles ]
because I can be.

Veronica, why are you
pulling my dick ?

Do you think-- I mean,
do you really think...

If betty Finn's
fairy godmother made her cool,

She would still hang out
with her dweebette friends ?

[ chuckles ]
no way, Veronica.

Uh-uh.

[ J.D. ]
you want to go out tonight ?

Catch a movie ?
You know, some miniature golf ?

I was thinking more
along the lines of slitting
Heather Duke's wrists open,

Making it
look like a suicide.

Ah, now you're talking.
I could be up for that.

I've already started
underlining meaningful passages
in her copy of Moby Dick,

If you know what I mean.

I knew you'd be back,
Veronica.

I knew it.
I was positive.
I was sure.

Ugh !

It's over, J.D. Over.
Grow up !

I don't get it.
I mean, you were wrong.
I was right.

Strength, damn it !

Come on, come back.

Yes ?

Y-your friend Jason Dean
stopped by.

He seemed very
concerned about you.

He said that he thought
you might try to kill yourself.

You have been depressed lately.
Oh, he left this for you.

Oh. Oh, my God !

He said that
we should keep you
away from sharp objects,

Uh, closed garage doors,
chemical, uh, substances--

Uh, prescription drugs.
Prescription drugs.

"to neither love nor reverence
will thou be kind ?

"and even for hate,
thou canst but kill.

And all are killed."

I like it.
It's got that, uh,

"what a cruel world,
so let's toss ourselves in
the abyss" type ambience, huh ?

Come on.
It's Heather's copy
of Moby Dick.

Why don't you
give it a try, huh ?
Underline something.

Get off of my bed,
you fucking psycho !

You're a rebel ?
Do you actually think
you're a rebel ?

You're not a rebel.
You're a fucking psychotic.

You say tomato,
I say "to-mah-to."

Hold it.
"Eskimo." that--

That's one word.

I love it.
I usually go for
the whole sentence myself.

But this is perfecto.

Eskimo.
You know, it's so,
uh, mysterious.

Es-ki-mo.
[ sighs ]

Come on.

J--

J.D., you are not
even listening to me.

Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag !

That-that-that knife
is filthy.

What do you think
I'm going to do with it,
take out her tonsils ?

Excuse me.
I think I know Heather
a little better than you do.

If she was going
to slit her wrist,
the knife would spotless.

All right, how's this, huh ?
Can you see your fucking
reflection in the thing ?

Tomorrow, someone else
is just going to move
into her place.

That person could be me.

Ha ! There's only one of us
who knows how to do
Heather's handwriting.

And if you think
I'm going to write another
suicide note, you're wrong.

You don't get it,
do you ?

I mean,
society nods its head
at any horror...

The American teenager
can think to bring upon itself.

Nobody's going to care
about exact handwriting.

How ridic-- look.

"life... Sucks."

It's perfecto.

Ha. Jesus ! I mean,
I've got a meaningfully
marked-up Moby Dick.

What else
does a suicide need, huh ?

Now if you'll excuse me--

No !

Open the door !

Eskimo.

Heather Duke
underlined a lot of things
in this copy of Moby Dick.

But I believe
the word "Eskimo,"

Underlined all by itself,

Is the key
to understanding Heather's pain.

On the surface, Heather Duke
was the vivacious young lady...

We all knew her to be.

But her soul
was in Antarctica,

Freezing with the knowledge
of the way fellow teenagers...

Can be cruel,

The way that parents
can be unresponsive...

And, as she writes so eloquently
in her suicide note,

The way that life
can suck !

We'll all miss
Sherwood s little Eskimo.

Let's just hope she's
rubbing noses with Jesus.

Is this turnout weak
or what ?

I had at least
70 more people
at my funeral.

Heather ?

God, Veronica,

My afterlife
is so boring.

If I have to sing
"kumbaya" one more time--
what are you doing here ?

I made your favorite--
spaghetti, lots of oregano.

Dinner !

[ mom ]
Veronica, dinner !

Dear diary, last entry.

No one can stop J.D.--
Not the FBI, the M.I.T.
Or the P.T.A.

He once told me
that the extreme
always makes an impression.

Well, now it's my turn.

Let's see
how the son of a bitch
reacts to a suicide...

He didn't perform himself.

I can't believe you did it.

I was teasing.
I loved you.

Sure, I was-- I was
coming up here to kill you.

First I was going to try
and get you back
with my amazing petition.

It's a shame you
can't see what our, uh,

Fellow students
really signed.

All right, listen.

[ sighs ]

"we students
of Westerberg high will die...

"today.

"our burning bodies
will be the ultimate protest...

"to a society
that degrades us.

Fuck you all."

It's not really subtle,

But, uh, neither is blowing up
a whole school, now is it ?

Talk about
your suicide pacts, huh ?

When our school
blows up tomorrow,

It's going to be
the kind of thing
to infect a generation.

I mean, it's going to be
a Woodstock for the '80s.

Damn it, Veronica.

We could have toasted
some marshmallows together.

What does she want,
a written invitation ?

Veronica, dinner !

Shit.

Veronica, I--

Oh, my-- I-I-I-I
sh-should have let you
take that job at the mall.

It was--
it was just that I--

I was afraid of you
coming home late at night,
and I--

Hey, mom,

Why so tense ?

[ knocking ]
[ dad ] hey, pop, I need
some help with my homework.

Uh, not right now, tiger.
I'm a little busy.

Veronica !

J.D. Told me you
committed suicide last night.

Where is he ?
Where's J.D. ?
We have to talk.

Whether to kill yourself or not
is one of the most important
decisions a teenager can make.

Get a job.

[ door closes ]

[ beeps ]

[ class bell rings ]

Rodney,
where's everybody going ?

It's Friday.

Shit !
Another damn pep assembly.

Yeah.
You know, these things
can get pretty artificial,

But, you know, at least
you get out of class.

Rodney,
what's underneath the gym ?

The boiler room.

[ Veronica ]
may I see your hall pass ?

I knew that loose
was too noose.

Ha. I mean, uh,
noose too loose.

Goddamn you, woman.

Like father, like son.

A serious fuck bomb
in the boiler room...

To set off a pack
of thermals upstairs.

Okay, let's start
by putting the bomb
down on the ground.

I knew that.
I knew that.

Okay, put your hands
on your head.

You didn't say
"Simon says."

[ all ] let's go !
[ girl ] come on !

Let's go, rottweilers,
let's go !

Let's go, rottweilers,
let's go !

[ all ] ...E-s--
t-e-r--

T-e-r--
b-u-r--

B-u-r--

"g" !
What does it spell ?
[ all ] "g" !

[ cheering ]

God ! God !

Go ! Go ! Go ! Go !

Go ! Go ! Go ! Go !

Go ! Go ! Go ! Go ! Go !

Go ! Go !
Go ! Go ! Go ! Go !

You think just because
you started this thing
you can end it ?

I'll kill you.
I'll fucking kill you.
I swear to God.

Go ! Go ! Go ! Yeah !

How do I turn off
the goddamn bomb, asshole ?

Fuck you !

[ gunshot ]

[ yelling ]

Shit !

It's all over, J.D.
Help me stop it.

[ panting ]

You want to clean the slate
as much as I do, right ?

So maybe I am killing
everyone in the school.

Because nobody loves me.

Let's face it, all right ?
The only place
different social types...

Can genuinely
get along with each other
is in Heaven.

[ yelling ]
[ whistles ]

Which button do I press
to turn it off ?

Try the red one,
all right ?

Seriously. People
are going to look at the ashes
of Westerberg and say...

"now there is a school
that self-destructed.

Not because society
didn't care, but because
the school was society."

- It's really deep, huh ?
- Which red button ?

Press the middle button
to turn it off, if that's
what you really want.

- You know
what I want, babe ?
- What ?

Cool guys like you
out of my life.

[ beeping ]

[ cheering, applauding ]

Color me impressed.

You, uh--
you really fucked me up
pretty bad, Veronica.

You, um--

You got power.
Power I didn't think
you had.

Our slate is clean.

[ beeps ]

Pretend I did
blow up the school,

All of the schools.

Now that you're dead,

What are you
going to do with your life ?

[ beeping ]

[ stops beeping ]

[ explosion ]

[ chattering ]

Veronica.
You look like hell.
Yeah ?

I just got back.

Veronica,
what are you doing ?

Heather, my love,
there's a new sheriff
in town.

Hey, Martha.

My date for the prom
kind of flaked out on me.

I was wondering,
if you weren't doing
anything that night,

Maybe we could
rent some new releases.

Pop some popcorn.

I'd like that.

Yeah, so would I.

%% when I was just
a little girl %%

%% I asked my mother %%

%% what will I be %%

%% will I be pretty
will I be rich %%

%% here's what
she said to me %%

%% que sera %%

%% sera %%

%% whatever will be %%

%% will be %%

%% will be %%

%% the future's not ours %%

%% to see %%

%% well, well, well
well, well %%

%% que sera %%

%% que sera %%

%% que sera %%

%% when I grew up
and fell in love %%

%% I asked my lover %%

%% what will I be %%

%% will I be rich
day after day %%

Sing.
%% here's what my lover said %%

%% que sera %%

%% sera %%

%% yeah %%

%% whatever %%

%% will be %%

%% will be %%

%% will be %%

%% ooh %%

%% que sera %%

%% sera %%

%% what, why, whoever %%

%% will be %%

%% will be %%

%% will be %%

%% ohh %%

%% the future's
not ours to see %%

%% mm mm mm mm mm mm %%

%% que sera %%

%% que sera %%

%% will, will
will, will, will %%

%% que sera %%

%% oh, you'll get down %%