Original subtitles

Previously on The West Wing...

Jed!

I can't do the job, Abbey.

Do you understand? I can't do it!

Where's Donna?

She got a new job, I think.

I've got her cell, if you want to give her a call.

You pick your dream candidate yet?

I don't know how all of this works.

You pick the smartest, most capable,

most honorable individual you can think of,

and you have a conversation.

I'm not running for Congress again, Josh.

I'm not talking about Congress.

SANTOS: Josh should've called.

I could've saved him a trip.

HELEN: They don't have anyone else?

It's a Latino district, and they cannot come up

with a decent Democrat?

You'd think.

Did you leave it open with him?

No.

I'll break you in half.

( chuckles )

He knows I'm not going back to the House.

( sighs )

Give me a hand. These guys are out.

Look at how big this kid is.

I mean, he's down to my knees.

When did this happen?

He's shooting up. It's that time.

He's got his own smell.

So, what did he want?

Well, he's not worried about the House anymore.

You supposed to walk Russell

through a Cinco de Mayo Parade,

establish his Chicano street cred?

( laughs ): Not quite.

I hate politicians who wear cowboy boots.

Well, that's the least of his problems.

Women spend their entire lives

trying to get out of heels.

What possible use is there?

The guy is a lawmaker.

It's like going through life wearing a welder's helmet.

He's not a bad guy.

Well, his footwear's moronic.

He's just trying to get elected. Exactly.

Oh, my God, this is good. You want some?

What is it? It's ice cream, melted.

It's good like that. I'm fine.

Josh wants me to run for president.

Of the United States?

I'm pretty sure.

Wow, they are hard up.

( laughs )

I mean, you know what I mean, it's...

Are you thinking about this?

No. You're not?

Told him no. You told him no.

I told him no. And what did he say?

He said that I was right, that it was

a stupid idea and that I made the right decision.

Man of conviction right there.

He's got it all figured out.

He's got this nine point plan.

It's pretty interesting, actually.

Nine point?

Uh-huh.

Why not seven or three or...?

I don't know.

And this plan is supposed to make you...

Win.

Oh, my God, you're thinking about this.

I told him no.

Well, I'm going to bed.

Those kids are going to be up in a couple hours.

Don't forget the trash.

( machine beeping )

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?!

( sighs )

Well, good morning.

Right.

I love it when it's cold enough

to make the mud crusty.

It's a better walk. You don't have to do this.

Sorry. You have the full text

of this blog thing from the Rohmer Report?

Go.

"What team does she play on?

"Washington abuzz with fresh allegations

"that a certain former Bartlet Administration

"press secretary may have more than a passing interest

"in pursuing what many have described

as a radical homosexual agenda."

And it goes on... To say what?

That you played sports at Berkeley and that you were

the first girl in Ohio Prep history ever to dunk a basketball.

Oh, Lord God.

And that's pretty much it.

Did Tommy call?

Tommy?

Burly Tommy Keller with the mop on top?

Two dinners at the Oval Room last week

and the reason I'm wearing this necklace today

who's picking you up at 7:00 tonight Tommy?

He called?

No.

Everybody in there?

All here... five minutes early.

Well, great.

Mornin'. ALL: Good morning, C.J.

Okay...

I've never been more attracted to you in my life.

Restrain yourself.

Last night's House vote means we have a budget

headed for conference committee.

House and Senate versions are close, but we don't want

to get hung up for weeks on a bunch of silly HHS riders

like we did two years ago.

We're close, but it's not a... Slam dunk?

Hey, now, Charlie made a funny.

Guys, our whole agenda is riding on this.

We can't afford another shutdown.

We've got the President's legacy.

This is our last chance to maybe do some good

for folks, and it all lives

or dies with this budget.

Have to track the conference committee closely.

Are we going to get the college loan and Pell Grant expansion?

Yeah, both versions. We just got the list

of Republican conferees.

Wilkinson?

I thought it was a seniority thing.

No, they can do whatever they want.

That's why they do it behind closed doors.

Wilkinson? Isn't this it for him?

Yeah, I thought he was going

back to Kansas to sell flat globes.

Was he even in on the budget negotiations?

I didn't see him. C.J.: Okay, we keep an eye out.

Everybody hits the phones. Will, what do you got?

Uh, the VP's speaking to the NAACP in Memphis next week.

I'm coordinating with the policy shops.

You want help?

WILL: You talking to me?

Yeah, I may be able to help you out there.

You're offering to help the Vice President?

Yeah. I can help you

cut to the chase with those guys.

Those guys? You're, like,

the whitest guy on the planet.

CHARLIE: Yeah.

Got any particular insights you want to share?

Is it weird? Did it just get weird in here?

A little. C.J.: What else?

Kate, where's Uzbekistan?

KATE: Something big blew up.

Doesn't appear to be nuclear.

We're going over the pictures now.

We really have no idea.

Let's never open these meetings to the public.

C.J.: Okay, keep me posted.

The President's going to be working

from the residence today.

If you need him, bring it to me.

He okay? C.J.: Yeah, he's fine.

Some temporary balance problems.

Just precautionary.

We don't want to risk another fall.

Skip the flowers and chocolate.

If you want to send a message of love,

bring this budget home.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to try and craft

a personal statement in support of the reproductive arts.

Hang in there.

Yeah, yeah. CHARLIE: There's a basketball

in the trash.

Don't put out a statement.

It'll be perfectly respectful.

We don't need this distraction now.

It feels funny.

You're going to have to be more articulate than that.

This can't be a coincidence.

Rumors about your sexuality on the same day

the Republicans are shoving Wilkinson

onto the budget conference committee?

You're acting like a dog in Pompeii again.

Do me a favor. Hold off on the statement.

Let me make some calls.

Fine, but I think you're drastically overestimating

the political potency of my sex life.

Not possible.

PRESIDENT: This is great.

THERAPIST: Sir?

PRESIDENT: I have a devastating neurological disorder,

and you've got me doing calisthenics.

THERAPIST: Can I put this whining in a book I'm going to write?

PRESIDENT: If I wanted to exercise,

I never would've become an economist.

Curtis, my friend, how you doing today?

Just fine, sir.

Well, a mighty blessing upon your mighty frame son.

Appreciate that, Mr. President.

What can I do for you, sir?

Is my wife about?

I believe she is, sir.

Thank you.

Okay, now you got me trying to do stuff

I couldn't do before I got sick.

When you're feeling wobbly,

that's a good opportunity for you

to take some time with range of motion.

Terrific. I'll just pretend I'm a crustacean.

Use it or lose it, Mr. President.

That could be said for the power of the Presidency as well.

Good Lord, Jed, are you all right?

No, I'm fine, I just...

Thank you, Curtis. I may need you. I'll holler.

Right outside the door, sir.

You bet.

Great kid.

I'd like to watch him eat a pie.

( laughs ): You on your way?

Yeah, I've got a quick meet with your doctor and C.J.

later this morning, five interviews

and three receptions this afternoon.

Oh, geez...

Hell is a place where you got to keep smiling

and you're not allowed to take off your panty hose.

You want me in the C.J. meeting?

Not unless you want to hear yourself referred to

in the third person and keep your mouth shut.

I didn't think my schedule

was going to be so light on the protein.

Well, that's all right, Jed.

You can afford to lose a few pounds.

Shh... See you this evening.

I'll be here.

He in there?

Yeah. Don't go in.

He alone?

How do you mean?

Not with others.

That is correct.

Know what? He'll be fine. Step away

from the door.

Hey, one second. You all right?

How's this?

I'll tell you after I read it.

Come on in.

She likes it closed.

Interesting girl.

Yeah. I think I lost the temp lottery.

She's making me finish, like, one thing at a time.

It's insane. Tell her to back off.

You tell her. Call Donna.

( sighs ): I can't.

You know, eventually, you may have to resort to manhood.

I'm the victim here. How am I supposed to be a man?

This Wilkinson thing seem strange to you?

Yeah. I got calls out to the Minority Leader

and all the Democratic conferees.

I'm going to call the Republican Whip,

then go see Wilkinson.

We'll get this budget locked up.

Why'd you go to Houston?

Hmm?

Why'd you go to Houston? Santos?

Yeah. What'd he say?

He's not running.

Yeah. Could've used him in the House.

Yeah, it's a shame. You went all the way down there?

I like him a lot.

Russell and Hoynes both still after you?

Yeah.

Make up your mind?

I'm here with you to the bitter end with bells on.

If this budget falls apart and Vinick makes his way

through the primaries, there's not going to be

a Democratic Party anymore.

No, I know. I'm on it.

You're done. Leave.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think this girl's fantastic.

Minority Leader on one.

Yes, Senator, we understand.

Sure. And we appreciate the restraint you've shown

through this entire budget process...

Yeah, yeah.

And you know this White House

is going to back you 100%.

Sit, sit.

Yeah, Baker's my next call.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Oh, I'm fine.

I only use the Internet to shop.

Thanks for asking.

Cripes.

What's up?

So, I have some interview requests...

Go ahead.

The Advocate, Out, The Village Voice,

The San Francisco Chronicle...

Make my stinking day. Washington Times,

Goddess Monthly, Nantucket Republican

and the NCAA Field Hockey Quarterly.

Field hockey?

No, I just made that one up as a joke.

Well, aren't you just as perky

as all get out? So for now,

it seems to be isolated to just the...

Sports fans. Right.

And the statement-- I just want to be sure

this doesn't distract from the business

of, say, the government.

Yeah, I've been struggling with this a bit.

You want to emphatically deny something

you have no problem with and make it publicly clear

that this is a private matter?

That'd be great.

Okeydokey.

( knocking ) JOSH: Hey.

Is the President still in the residence?

Yeah. We found out

what Wilkinson's doing in the budget conference.

Federal ban on gay marriage.

Sanctity of Marriage Act.

They're attaching it to the budget?

So if we want to avoid spending the rest of our days

in partisan gridlock, we have to ban gay marriage.

If we oppose it, we paint the whole

Democratic party as out of touch

with traditional American values

for the election. And the budget

goes down in flames.

Margaret!

Call the residence; we need to see the President now.

WILL: I looked over your resume.

I think we both know it's an undersell.

What I take to the Vice President is the knowledge

you've gleaned over six years on the front lines.

I think we can safely say you've picked up a lot.

I try to pay attention.

I just want to make sure I'm not starting a turf war.

I'd hate to find the Deputy Chief-of-Staff

at my door with a switchblade.

You're not poaching me.

I need to move on, and Josh is...

Well, he'll find someone else to answer his phone.

Well, we can use you. No question.

And not as anybody's assistant.

That's right, Mr. President. On the budget?

Yes, sir.

Didn't they attach

a family planning rider to the highway bill last year?

JOSH: They did.

What's with these people?

They can't stop talking about sex.

If they can't be having it...

Am I having a flashback, or is this my brain going?

No, sir, last time they called it

Marriage Recognition Act.

First term, pocket veto.

Who is it? Wilkinson.

What's Wilkinson doing on the conference committee?

JOSH: That's what we said.

It's a guts move by the leadership.

We've just got to slap it down.

We threaten the veto, make it clear

this kind of ambush is unacceptable.

We should get going on a statement now.

TOBY: They'll think twice

before they force another shutdown.

I disagree.

It's a bad pitch; don't swing at it.

That's why they're throwing it.

Is there any doubt it would get overturned by the courts, Josh?

JOSH: It's not likely.

So far, anything short of full recognition

for same-sex partners is a constitutional no-go.

This amendment is pure symbolism.

It's an empty gesture.

Is that worth holding up our entire agenda?

Get it off the bill, guys.

And if we can't?

Just get it off the bill.

TOBY: Thank you, Mr. President.

JOSH: Thank you, sir.

Wilkinson's more of a Federalist than an ideologue.

What's he doing suggesting we override the state?

C.J.: The courts will take care of that.

We need this budget, sir.

At the end of the day, you may have to sign it.

TOBY: What was that about?

He didn't say he wouldn't veto it.

He didn't say he would.

We can get this done.

You want to enlighten us?

He wants it off the bill.

Yeah, we got that.

We're not going to play a game of chicken

in the middle of a two trillion-dollar budget round.

We're always in the middle

of a two trillion- dollar budget round.

With a president who can't make it down the stairs?

But he's not running again.

Why can't we help him stand up for himself?

The President made the call.

Let's get it off the bill.

Josh, try and dole out some budgetary pork

to members of the conference committee,

see if we can get this amendment killed.

( beeping )

Okay. Maybe Sioux City needs a monorail.

I'm late for the First Lady.

Toby, why don't you share your feelings with Wilkinson,

see if you can talk him down.

With what, a threat that if he doesn't back off,

the President might actually sign it?

You'll figure it out.

DR. GORDON: We call it secondary-progressive

MS-- progressive because the lesions

have obviously accelerated here.

That's pretty common.

And you don't know how to stop that?

GORDON: Give me ten years and some stem cells.

Sorry.

What we need to focus on

is the best way to manage his symptoms

in this unique environment.

That's what this is.

What about stress? Can't be good for you.

Tell me about it. The before and after pictures

around this place are intense.

No more back-to-back marathon meetings?

No, an hour, max.

His legs are going to start cramping and spasming.

You don't want him kicking out the Resolute Desk.

Or one of the Joint Chiefs.

How many hours a day can we schedule?

Depends. Six or seven, tops.

And he's going to need a nap midday.

A nap? He's going to love that.

GORDON: It's the public time that's going to be tough--

standing behind podiums,

shaking hands, cabinet meetings.

So, more on the phone, more memos.

Things he can read and sign.

Too much reading may lead to optical problems.

You're probably going to have

to severely limit his reading materials.

Oh, Lord.

C.J.: Anything else?

GORDON: High temperatures can trigger attacks.

Got to keep the Oval below 70.

Okay. So, we'll do a daily report

on the President's condition in morning staff.

ABBEY: The bottom line is

we have to be prepared for anything,

every day.

Got a minute?

You should call first, so I can gather my wits.

Sorry.

You seen TheFederalGovernment AreABunchOfDinks.com?

And what if I reject the premise?

They're all over this C.J. thing.

Anything new?

They got her high school basketball stats.

Apparently, she was all-Dayton.

You heard about this Sanctity of Marriage Amendment?

Just now. The President

wants it stripped off the budget.

Good.

Be nice if the Vice President

made some kind of statement against it.

Maybe called Wilkinson.

The Vice President is pro-marriage.

As are we all.

I've been married almost twice.

To the same woman.

That's... unique.

We're fine with it.

Okay, then.

So, the VP'll make a statement?

What's the President's position?

He wants it off the bill.

But what's his position?

( chuckling ): That he wants it off the bill.

And if it stays on the bill?

We need your help on this.

Right. This is a lose-lose for us Toby.

We come out for it, we hurt ourselves in the primaries,

we come out against it, we hurt ourselves in the general.

I'd have to advise the VP to wait and see

where the President's going to land.

No, I want to kill it before it learns how to walk.

Then I don't know what you're doing here.

You should be talking to the President about a veto.

( chuckles softly )

Good idea.

It's getting bigger.

( gasping ): Oh, hi.

Oh. I'm sorry. You wanted an update

on this Internet rumor?

It's getting bigger?

The blogs are saturated with it,

and now there's a query from the Post.

They're doing a piece on strategic bloggery.

What are you, like four ten?

Me? I'm four eleven.

I can't believe we're the same species.

So, there's your update.

I know we shouldn't be saying anything,

but are you sure we shouldn't be saying anything?

I mean, it'd be great to get it off the net,

but it'd seem like a comment

on the Sanctity of Marriage Act.

Plus, any statement on the White House letterhead

brings this from the blogosphere

to just about every news outlet in the country.

So, not a peep. I was going to say...

Thanks for your advice on this.

Democratic conferees are waiting.

Tommy didn't call, did he?

Crickets. Guy's starting

to tick me off.

"Crickets"?

TOBY: Senator Wilkinson.

WILKINSON: I've been waiting for an emissary.

Figured it'd be the Vice President.

Senator, you're one of this country's great Federalists.

You believe in state and local control of education.

I do.

You believe in state and local control of law enforcement.

Yup.

Senator, I'm not sure you think there should be

a Federal government at all.

Well, we lost that fight some time ago, didn't we?

So, why would you want

an unprecedented, top- down Federal mandate

to govern every state's marital laws?

Well, now that we have a Federal government,

one thing it can do is protect our national values.

Such as individual freedoms?

Actually, I was thinking of the institution of marriage.

When the budget's done,

let's get a bipartisan group together to talk about it.

I don't need

another thoughtful study

to tell me what I know to be right.

Senator, I'm not criticizing the sincerity of your beliefs.

Well, that's refreshing.

Toby, do you believe the Bible to be literally true?

Yes, sir, but I don't think

either of us is smart enough to understand it.

The President wants this amendment off his budget.

Well, if you're here to threaten a veto,

now's the time to do it.

Yeah, I'm a busy man.

I don't appreciate your coming down here

with hollow threats.

And I don't appreciate people

spreading politically motivated rumors

about C.J. Cregg on the Internet.

I don't know how to use a typewriter,

much less a computer.

I think the President is going to sign it, Toby.

And I think that you're here

because you think he might sign it, too.

Marla, I need the numbers for the meeting!

( phone ringing )

The earmarks, for the conferees?

( phone continues ringing )

Can you get that?

I'm late here.

Hello.

MARLA: I don't like to be yelled at.

( dial tone )

I would like to have the earmarks

so that I can go and do my job.

"Earmarks." Is that frat boy for pork?

Wow.

Here you go. Thank you.

$300,000

for potato storage research?

Starches are vital.

How vital is $50 million

for an indoor rain forest in Iowa?

It attracts tourism. And mosquitoes, I'm guessing.

I'm trying to get

some distinguished members of Congress

to remove a hateful, gay-bashing piece-of-trash amendment

from the Federal budget.

By bribing them

with taxpayers' hard-earned money?

I don't know if you read the memo,

but I set Federal budget policy.

You alphabetize and sort.

Josh. You, uh, got a second?

Yeah. Come in.

You're going to be late.

( door shuts )

So, what are you working on?

Actually, right now,

trying to build an indoor rain forest.

Ah.

Well, good luck with that.

Listen, I'm sorry about landing on you

in Houston like that.

My wife wants to kill you.

Yeah, I got a lot of women mad at me.

Yeah? Well, you ought to work on that.

I do have to go to this meeting in a second.

We got a budget glitch we're trying to sort out.

So, would this be a package deal?

The budget?

No. I've been thinking

about your nine-point plan.

Really?

Yeah.

But I would like to add a tenth.

What's that?

You.

The filing deadline's next Thursday.

I'm in if you're in with me.

that the Paperwork Reduction Act is more than 500 pages long?

Okay, let's just see if we can squeeze it down a little,

save a couple of trees.

You can always tell a bureaucrat,

but you can't tell him much.

Unless you tell him in triplicate.

What you need, Toby?

Sanctity of Marriage?

Yeah. Yeah, Will gave me a heads-up.

He helpful?

Not as obedient as he used to be.

That's good to hear.

That's rough about C.J.

Yeah, it's a rough town.

Mr. Vice President, I know you don't want

to get ahead of the President on this,

but we need you to come out

against the Sanctity of Marriage Act.

Why would I want to do that?

'Cause one clear signal from this White House,

and I believe Wilkinson will fold.

I think Will is right.

I'm, uh, gonna have to take a pass on this.

Mr. Vice President,

this amendment isn't about protecting marriage.

It's about institutionalizing the last acceptable form

of discrimination.

Toby... You can't just

sit back and allow the religious right

to hijack the social agenda in this country.

I know, look...

Presidential campaigning

has to be about more than duck and cover.

This is an opportunity for you to stand up and lead, make...

I've got a nephew who's gay.

I love this kid.

Name's Todd.

I want him to have the same rights

and opportunities as everybody else.

He wants to go to West Point, and it makes me sick to think

that we would send him into battle to defend a union

but he can't enter into one.

Then come out against this amendment.

We're not there yet.

5,000 years of socialization

didn't go out the window

with the first Village People album.

You do this wrong, then there'll be a backlash

that sets us back 50 years.

You do it right, we'll be there in ten.

And in the meantime,

what message are we sending?

We're making progress.

We've got, uh, domestic partnerships,

non-discrimination laws.

Besides, demographics are destiny.

The kids don't give a damn about this.

You would tell the President to sign this thing?

I'd tell him to get his budget.

And so would my nephew.

C.J.: Tommy?

Any Tommy?

No Tommy to give.

Hmm.

Boston Globe wants...

Oh, my God!

...to know if we're going to comment

on the Wilkinson amendment.

That voice out of nowhere...

MSNBC, too.

MuckrakersManifesto.com has a story

that you were gonna coach in the WNBA...

That's completely ridiculous.

I went to, like, three Mystics games.

Fox news--

both mean Irish guys.

Whole bunch of websites, 11 more newspapers,

and be quick about it, blah, blah, blah...

So, they're all writing

about me now?

Not you, exactly, but

the amendment gives them license

to at least mention these Internet rumors.

Well, the President wants a clean budget bill

with no extraneous amendment, that's the line.

And start working up a statement.

I thought we decided not to.

Just in case.

You know, respectful,

non-defensive, live and let live,

not that there's anything wrong with it.

I tried that. And?

And I gave up 'cause it's stupid?

Is that an option around here?

Toby suggested it might be.

And what else did Toby suggest?

That the White House Chief of Staff

doesn't get to issue personal statements

that read like letters to the editor

of Soap Opera Digest.

Not that I'm a subscriber or anything.

I'd like a draft statement on my desk in an hour.

What are you doing?

I got a bad temp.

This is where you become just sad.

Call Donna.

What happened with Wilkinson?

He won't budge.

When God starts talking to people,

it kind of limits the debate.

How's the pork?

Not having much luck with the other conferees.

Carson wants 600 grand for alternative salmon products.

I think we should just ditch the whole budget

and open a grocery store.

So this amendment's gonna pass?

People don't want to vote against marriage.

We're gonna run out of salmon products

before they're ready to vote against church and family.

Oh, I hate this issue.

It's like walking around town holding a sick chicken.

If the President

isn't willing to veto this, I don't know

how we're gonna nickel and dime our way out of it.

So, we shouldn't even try?

C.J.'s caving, the Vice President thinks

the country's not ready to fight discrimination,

and for all I know,

the President's in the middle of nap time.

No one wants to get near this issue.

Even Hoynes is hedging-- three-paragraph statement.

I can't even tell if he thinks there should be a Congress.

Hoynes just put out a statement?

Yeah, said it deserves "thoughtful study."

"Thoughtful study?" He said that?

Straddling the political divide like an Adonis.

He was on Judiciary

with Wilkinson, right?

Yeah, for a long time.

So, uh, Santos stopped by.

Filing deadline's in two days.

Wants me to go with him.

To Texas? What for?

New Hampshire.

Why does he want to go to New Hampshire?

To run for President.

I kind of talked him into it.

I think I got to go with him.

I laid out a nine-point plan.

Is one of the points a military junta?

Okay.

I'm gonna go back to my office now.

You can't leave.

We're not done here.

You can't skip out

with the President lying flat on his back.

Seven years, you're gonna leave us

with a Candy Gram and a get well card?

Someone's got to think about the ninth year.

You're gonna walk into the Oval Office

and tell the President you just found a better horse?

Hi.

Secretary of Agriculture is calling.

Something about a fruit laboratory.

Thank you.

So maybe we'll get Carson after all.

If I make any progress, I'll get you a new whip count.

You getting through it?

Yeah, I'm almost up to the Hoover Administration.

Did Margaret give you the call sheets

for the Democratic conferees?

Yup, I spoke to McKenna.

He's fine on the education offsets.

I figure you just had a heart attack

they'd have to take your call.

Hey, whatever it takes.

Drives me crazy when these guys use the federal budget

as a right-wing social soap box.

It's a popular issue.

No one wants to be the first one to line up against it.

If you live your life

underneath a magnifying glass,

you tend to stay away from the heat.

How you holding up?

I'm feeling a little over-interpreted.

The Internet thing.

Am I wrong to want to set the record straight,

no pun intended?

When I was Labor Secretary,

the National Enquirer ran a story

that I'd married Elizabeth Taylor

while skydiving over New Mexico.

I'm a heterosexual,

and I-I don't know why I just said that,

except that as of this morning, I'm the most famous...

not famous, but apparently,

the most powerful lesbian on the planet,

when the fact of the matter is I'm crazy, absolutely crazy

about this particular man I just met

and had two fabulous dinners with in the space of one week.

A man who hasn't had the courtesy to call me today,

probably because he is simply of the undependable gender,

or, come to think of it,

maybe he has even less of an idea

about how to deal with my alleged

and fictitious lesbianism than I do.

So, he'll just remain silent,

like a submarine under the ice cap

and drift away,

just drift away like the legion of other cowards

for whom I spent my young life staring at the phone,

panting like an exquisite collie hoping for table scraps.

Until I became successful,

and suddenly started to scare them,

scare them with the very independence

they required me to have so that now,

I'm looking at some bad numbers, really rough stuff,

if you know what I'm talking about.

But what was I supposed to do?

Turn down an opportunity

to serve the President of the United States

whom I believe in and adore?

You just want to share it all with someone, you know?

So, if you want to, uh, send down anymore call sheets...

Sure. No, that'd be a great idea.

I need you to stay, Leo.

So does the President.

C.J.? Toby needs you.

TOBY: Wilkinson won't move.

The Vice President has chosen this moment

to find his noble core,

and I think Hoynes may be behind this whole thing.

Hoynes?

We have to put the President in a room with Wilkinson.

Oh, that's not gonna happen.

How's Hoynes involved?

That doesn't matter. The President has

to threaten a veto to Wilkinson's face.

It's the only way to get the amendment off this bill.

The President's not ready to threaten a veto.

Because you told him not to.

I'm not willing to sink the budget over this.

Over your Internet dating life.

No, over a symbol, an empty gesture

that's gonna be struck down by the courts.

So that's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna pass the buck and pray for judicial restraint?

The President is resting today.

We can't haul him down here

every time we can't do what he's asked us to do.

You're afraid to address it

because it'll call more attention to this garbage

they're running in cyberspace.

No, Toby, I'm too busy composing my letter to the editor

of Soap Opera Digest.

Josh is thinking of leaving.

What?

To help Matt Santos run for President.

The Congressman from Texas?

Leo's gone, Josh has one foot out the door.

It's you and I. We're gonna have to run this thing.

Are we going to stand for something,

or just hang around, change the sheets

for the President's hospital bed?

So we should do, what, fight an amendment

with no practical impact and massive popular support?

Yes, we should fight it.

Fight the symbol, yes.

Symbols matter.

And if they didn't, why would you care

what they say about you on the Internet?

I have to go downstairs for a quick meeting.

C.J. called me.

Yeah, God forbid

anyone should see me bumming around the West Wing.

Might think I'm actually running the country.

This gonna be your idea of resting?

It's only gonna take a couple of minutes.

We're have a situation here, Jed.

I'm starting to feel like a guest

at the most secure bed and breakfast on the planet.

What's so important that you'd risk your health?

The Sanctity of Marriage Act.

Oh, that old chestnut?

I was hoping for at least an international crisis.

( sighs )

Hold the fish loosely, Jed,

or it's gonna flop right out of your hands.

I want to put my pants on.

What?

My pants.

I can't put them on.

Oh, okay.

"How body from spirit does slowly unwind

until we are pure spirit at the end."

You gonna quote poetry now?

I...

( grunts )

So, this is why they make you take vows.

Yup, this is why.

( sighs )

WILL: Would you overnight this

up to David in Concord, please?

( knocks )

New Hampshire office is up and running?

11 of them, actually.

Cheaper to buy in bulk.

Little different operation

than Orange County three years ago, huh?

Well, this guy's got a pulse for starters.

Technically speaking, sure.

You don't miss the romance of the upstart campaign?

Sorry to make you waste a walk across the parking lot.

Toby already tried to go over my head

on the Sanctity of Marriage.

You want to remind him the Vice President and I

actually do talk every once in a while.

You know, he really appreciates

your offer to help on this NAACP stuff.

Sure, great.

You good?

How's Donna working out?

Great.

She have an office yet?

I didn't see her out in the bullpen.

She just headed up for New Hampshire.

She's gonna be there a couple of weeks.

Excellent.

Well, next time you see her, you tell her I say hi.

Of course.

HOYNES: Okay, see you guys

on the plane tomorrow.

TOBY: Where are you off to?

South Carolina in the morning.

Georgia in the afternoon.

Working on your southern strategy?

That and my winter tan.

You could use a couple of rays yourself.

Well, I'm not so much in for tanning,

but I'll give it some "thoughtful study".

( chuckles ): The luxury of being

out of public office.

Toby, I don't have to take a position

on every issue that comes before the Congress.

You served with Wilkinson on the Judiciary Committee, right?

l did. He's a good man.

I mean, he is out there, but it's for real.

Won't take a cent of PAC money, it's unbelievable.

So you encouraged him to visit his righteous indignation

down on the budget process.

Make Russell swing to the right

on gay marriage,

slay him with the Democratic faithful

in the primaries-- it makes sense.

I'm just confused about who the viable candidate

is supposed to be when Russell's gone.

You underestimate the American public.

Generally a good policy in my experience.

I don't trust their judgment.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You're working for the President of Cuba.

I trust their aspirations.

Just like all those guys in the white wigs.

Some of them were slave-owners, I hear.

Exactly.

C.J., too, that your handiwork?

No.

No, I feel terrible about that.

I'm gonna win this thing, Toby.

JOSH: Hey.

So, are the queers going to destroy

marriage as we know it or what?

I have no idea.

I'm handing out pork like Popsicles.

Wilkinson's coming over to meet with the President.

Thought he was staying in the residence today.

Yeah, so did the First Lady.

I'd steer clear.

Oh, I'm not getting anywhere near that one.

So I think I found my guy.

Yeah?

That's good.

Matt Santos said yes.

He's gonna do it.

Santos?

Really?

I know. I got this nine-point...

No, I don't need to hear it.

You smell a moment, you gotta go.

I don't want to leave you guys with just a...

Candy Gram and a get well card.

We'll be fine.

Come with me-- I think this guy may be the real deal.

I already found my guy.

I don't know how to tell him, Leo.

Hey.

Hey.

Agriculture's still dragging their feet

on this Appalachian fruit thing.

It was Hoynes.

He wanted to force Russell

to support the Sanctity of Marriage Act.

Heartwarming.

So, Santos, huh?

What are you gonna do when this is done?

Whatever I can to stave off the chaos, mayhem

and self-interest that lies just beneath our civil disguise.

So not the private sector.

( chuckles )

The money would have to be unbelievable.

See ya.

Yeah.

You all set, sir?

I'm fine, Nancy. Bring him on in.

Mr. President,

Senator Wilkinson.

Sam.

Well, you look terrific, Mr. President.

Thank you.

Sorry I can't get up, but I can't get up.

You're in our prayers, Mr. President.

I appreciate that, Sam, I really do.

Now, tell me what I can do

to get your amendment off my budget?

"Against nature.

"Men leaving the natural use of the woman,

"burned in their lust toward one another;

men with men, working that which is unseemly."

Romans.

Would it offend you, Sam,

if I said this amendment represents

a selective interpretation of the scriptures,

a complete inversion of the values of Jesus Christ?

No, sir, it wouldn't offend me.

I'm secure in my faith.

Isn't there something in that book about forgiveness?

Aren't we all God's children?

Of course we are.

Which is why the government shouldn't institutionalize

behavior in opposition to our faith.

What gives us the right to visit our faith upon the country?

One nation under God.

What gives us the right not to?

You talked to John Hoynes about this?

John's a friend of mine.

But I introduced this amendment

because I believe you want to sign it, Mr. President.

You told me as much

six weeks ago at the Prayer Breakfast.

That civil unions are one thing,

but that marriage is between a man and a woman.

( clears throat )

I can't stand up anymore.

Sir? I've lost my balance.

Should come back, but it's gone right now.

Are you dizzy, sir?

No, I just can't find my balance.

It went away.

I try thinking it back, but it's difficult,

because it's not a static thing.

Once it's gone,

it's hard to imagine having it back again,

and it's disheartening to realize

that thinking just isn't gonna get it done.

You've just gotta trust that you'll happen on to it again.

You only have one more year, Mr. President.

Yeah, I've got a great future behind me.

Attaching this to the budget

gives you all the cover you need.

How is this our job, Sam?

I raised my right hand and swore an oath

to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America.

Where was your left hand, Mr. President?

This was sent over from the Northwest Gate.

It says, "Oval room at 9:00."

Yeah.

Are the press still in there?

Yeah.

This is your statement.

Hey, I just wanted

to tell you guys that the Sanctity of Marriage Act's

been removed from the budget at the President's urging.

The conferees are moving towards a clean budget bill.

With any luck, it should be

on the President's desk by tomorrow.

Are we on the record here?

Sure, what the hell.

Are you a homosexual?

You know what?

I've spent the last 14 hours

being snickered at by United States Senators,

being ostracized on the World Wide Web,

having my own colleagues

question my ability to do my job...

and I let it get to me.

So I don't think it really matters

whether I'm gay or straight

or just the best damn women's basketball player

in Ohio Valley history,

no one should be treated this way.

You didn't answer the question.

That's right, because it's none of your business.

Josh, he can see you now.

Josh.

How you feeling?

Not too bad.

Um, everything okay?

( sighs )

( phone ringing )

Russell for President.

SANTOS: I wanted to start this journey

in the place where it all started for me.

Soon, we will be inundated by the polls

and the punditry and the prognostications--

all the nonsense that goes with

our national political campaigns.

Well, none of that matters.

This is the place that matters.

Because every day,

children walk into this schoolhouse

to glimpse their futures, to ask for hope.

They may not know they need it yet, but they do.

And I'm here to tell you that hope is real.

In a life of trials,

in a world of challenges-- hope is real.

In a country where families go without health care,

where some go without food,

some don't even have a home to speak of-- hope is real.

In a time of global chaos and instability,

where our faiths collide

as often as our weapons-- hope is real.

Hope is what gives us the courage

to take on our greatest challenges,

( President breathing heavily) to move forward together.

We live in cynical times, I know that.

But hope is not up for debate.

There is such a thing as false science,

there's such a thing as false promises.

I am sure that I'll have

my share of false starts in this campaign.

But there is no such thing as false hope.

There is only hope.

And with your help and your hard work

and the hopes of good people all across this land,

I hereby announce my candidacy

for President of these United States.

( cheering and applause )