All language subtitles for Crashing.S01E05.Episode.5.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.x264-Cinefeel

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Why are you topless? - I'm being free! 2 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:11,507 - You are one of us now. - Yes, I suppose I am. 3 00:00:11,509 --> 00:00:14,434 - I love you. Ssh. - 'It's not cool, how you talk to Fred.' 4 00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:20,579 - I can fuck who I like. - No, you can't. 5 00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:22,459 Anthony's not going to like this! 6 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:24,339 Anthony's not going to know about this. 7 00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:28,340 I think I've been pretending to be in love with you. 8 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:46,339 - I love you! - Jesus! 9 00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:47,819 I fancy you. 10 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:49,899 Yeah, I... 11 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,259 ...fancy you, too. 12 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,139 Hm! 13 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,499 That's nice. 14 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,099 Oh, crazy, huh?! 15 00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,819 I don't remember a t'ing! 16 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:02,820 Good luck at work today. Mwah! 17 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,819 I feel just fantastic! 18 00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:23,339 Isn't it just a fantastic day?! 19 00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:24,819 It's a marvellous day! 20 00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:28,259 Well, come and do the Fantastic, Marvellous Day dance with me, then. 21 00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:29,979 OK! 22 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,939 Oh! Oop! 23 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:35,940 I love this place! 24 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,299 Would you ever let me bum you? 25 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,059 No! 26 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:47,939 I like putting things IN other things. 27 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:50,939 I think you'd get into it. It's good for angry men. 28 00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:52,739 Between you and Will, 29 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,939 I cannot turn around without fearing for my sphincter. 30 00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:58,219 I'm going to have to buy a little shield for it. 31 00:01:58,220 --> 00:02:00,739 - Will? - The guy can't take his eyes off my hole. 32 00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:03,419 I can feel them boring through my jeans every time I bend over. 33 00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:06,179 You genuinely think everybody fancies you, don't you? 34 00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:10,180 They do. 35 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:21,260 - Perk your aunt's morning up. - Get out! 36 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,699 Oh, shit! 37 00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:24,979 What? 38 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:28,819 It's "get out" time, babycakes. 39 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:32,499 They're knocking us down. 40 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,379 Where will all these people go? 41 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:37,939 This is what happens. If you want to live like this, 42 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,419 then you have to leave like this. 43 00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:44,420 OK... Pack what you like. The rest, we keep for firewood. 44 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:16,339 You're the secret flower man?! 45 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:19,259 So? Nothing wrong with brightening up the place a bit. 46 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:21,259 Do you want one? 47 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:24,099 Thanks! 48 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,979 Hey, Sam... 49 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:27,779 where are you going to move to? 50 00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:30,619 Oh, heard a rumour of an old fire station down south. 51 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,579 So, thought I might slide in there. 52 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,219 OK. Nice! 53 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:35,899 I just thought, maybe... 54 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:38,259 Could I come... with you? 55 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:41,499 Just thought it would be nice to... stick together. 56 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:44,019 - Sure. Whatever. - Really?! 57 00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:45,339 Yeah, let's do it! 58 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,979 You tell anyone that I am flower man, 59 00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:49,979 that is going somewhere it ain't getting photosynthsizzled. 60 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,980 Cross my heart. 61 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,019 - Pretending? - And now she's pretending 62 00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,459 that she never said that she was pretending. 63 00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:08,379 Well, I think you are both dealing with it really well. 64 00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:11,099 - Oh! - You guys are the dream. Thank God you're getting married. 65 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,099 What am I supposed to do now? Do I remind her? 66 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,899 No! Just pretend you don't know she's pretending 67 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:20,499 she never said she was pretending! 68 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,899 Hey... 69 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,939 Argh! 70 00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:27,579 No! No! 71 00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:29,339 I've never laughed at that! 72 00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:31,339 Ever! 73 00:04:31,340 --> 00:04:33,699 - What did you do last night? - No-one. 74 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:37,700 I can't believe they can evict people on a weekend. 75 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,859 It's Monday. 76 00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:43,379 Shut up. 77 00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:44,619 Yeah. 78 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:45,659 - No. - Yeah. 79 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,619 What?! Fuck! 80 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,979 No, I have to go now! Like NOW now! 81 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,339 Like, what happened to Sunday?! 82 00:04:52,340 --> 00:04:54,219 Oh, I'm so sweaty! 83 00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:56,819 Do these look like pyjamas?! 84 00:04:56,820 --> 00:05:00,820 Not at all. 85 00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:07,379 - I made you cafe. Un cafe pour... - Brilliant! 86 00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:11,380 - D'accord. - Merci. - Happy eviction, everybody! 87 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:13,139 What a palaver, eh? 88 00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:14,779 This is insane! 89 00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,779 - Brekkie, Fred? - Freddy Chops, are you ready? 90 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:19,299 Oh, Will's giving me a lift this morning. 91 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,419 - I'm at Samaritans. It's just round the corner. - Samaritans Samaritans? 92 00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,099 Yeah, people call up in distress, looking for... 93 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,659 - Upbeat Australian advice! - Yeah! 94 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,179 Hey, who were you having 95 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:31,739 that delicious-sounding sex with last night? 96 00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:33,619 My vote's on the fourth-floor yoga bunny. 97 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:37,419 I wasn't having sex. I was... crying. 98 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,179 Weren't you hanging late with Lulu last night? 99 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,779 - Lulu?! - Sure. Yeah, me and Lulu, sure. 100 00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:46,379 - I'd rather slam my dick in a door! - Oh, my God! It was totally Lulu! 101 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,059 - Was it? - No. 102 00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:50,179 It was so totally Lulu. 103 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:51,859 - Was it? - Guys, leave him alone. 104 00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:54,059 Yeah, can we please just leave him and Lulu alone? 105 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:56,099 It wasn't Lulu. I was crying. 106 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,459 Yeah, right into Lulu's vagina! 107 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,139 Ah! 108 00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:04,939 Hey, guys, I just wanted to say, I've found a new pad. 109 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:08,339 - Oh, you got your period? - (Love your naughty sense of humour.) 110 00:06:08,340 --> 00:06:11,619 - No, I've got a flat, in Angel. - What?! Why didn't you say? 111 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,259 - Congrats, man. - Thank you. I wanted to... I wanted to ask... 112 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:17,339 Hey, mate, will you let Kate know we're both in on the new building? 113 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:20,459 I wanted to ask Fred if he'd like to move in with me. 114 00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:22,859 Oh! 115 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,699 Oh. Wow! 116 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:28,539 It's got skirting boards, an oven, a bidet. It's got everything. 117 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:30,979 And it's all yours. It's ours, if you want it. 118 00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:32,859 What do you say? 119 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,779 Oh, boy... Um... 120 00:06:34,780 --> 00:06:37,539 Phew... 121 00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,339 Can I think about it? 122 00:06:40,340 --> 00:06:41,699 You sure can. 123 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:45,700 Congrats, mate. 124 00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,379 Lulu? 125 00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,539 Lulu! 126 00:06:57,540 --> 00:07:01,540 - Hm? - Hi! Did anything come for me this morning? 127 00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:04,299 No. 128 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,819 Who is that for? 129 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:11,820 Kate. 130 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,219 Yay! Perfect! 131 00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:20,859 I love it. By the way, if you feel ill, take the afternoon off. 132 00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:24,099 - Thanks. - Are those pyjamas? 133 00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:28,100 How dare you?! 134 00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:31,299 I mean, Samaritans, my arse. I bet he's out there 135 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,979 just spanking old grandpas. There is NOTHING about him 136 00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:37,980 being a Samaritan online. - You could call them. See if you get him. 137 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,460 - Colin! - 02079460423. They pick up really quickly. 138 00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:53,139 'Good afternoon. Samaritans. How can I help you today?' 139 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,859 Oh. Oh, you can take me out, 140 00:07:54,860 --> 00:07:57,179 Charity Chops, that's what you can do. 141 00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:59,619 - (Don't disrespect them.) - 'Hello? Anyone there?' 142 00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:04,819 'Good afternoon. Samari-... 143 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:10,419 'G'day. You're through to The Samaritans. 144 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:13,339 'I'm guessing this means you got lost along the way. Am I right?' 145 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,019 (He's real.) 146 00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,659 (Speak to him.) 147 00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:20,299 'Hello?' 148 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,779 Hi, my name is Stephen. 149 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:25,939 Hi, Stephen. I'm Will. You doing OK, buddy? 150 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,259 'Not really.' 151 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,859 I've got a pain in my arsehole. 152 00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:32,339 I can't actually give you any medical advice, I'm sorry. 153 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:36,340 I've just done a poo in my hand and I'm about to go in for a meeting. 154 00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,899 You're a bit of joker, eh? 155 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:43,939 'All right, you got me hands down. Ha! 156 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:47,259 'Hey, I don't mean to pry, Stephen, ' 157 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,705 but what happens when the laughter stops, mate? 158 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,759 How can she PRETEND to love me? 159 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,959 She was topless. 160 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,519 Everyone says things they don't mean when they're topless. 161 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,520 Did you get totally smashed on your own last night? 162 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,999 I feel horrible. 163 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,479 Oh, shit. It's Kate. She's got a balloon. What does that mean? 164 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:20,480 God. Protect that with your life. 165 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,479 Hi! Wow, look at that! 166 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,199 I-love-you balloon. 167 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,200 Yes! 168 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,919 - You OK? - So I've been looking at properties in zone five, 169 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,999 and I've come across an old primary school building in Croydon. 170 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,000 - Kate. - Are you too busy? Shall I come back later? - No. I think we should talk now. 171 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:50,800 Oh, wow. 172 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,160 My God! 173 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,800 She wants to try some. Then we're going to talk. 174 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,679 Oh! 175 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,680 Good luck! 176 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,599 Mmm. 177 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,919 Did you put alcohol in this? 178 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,119 Did you love your father? 179 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,639 My family were never close. 180 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,399 Ooooh! He's very good. 181 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:42,609 - Hey, listen, don't underestimate the importance of having a strong male role model in your life - OK. 182 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:47,520 Do you know any inspirational older men you could lean on? 183 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,759 Please, Kate, talk to me. 184 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,760 I... don't want to live together like this... any more. 185 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,599 Fuck, Kate. 186 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,479 I don't want to be a guardian any more. 187 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,799 I want a flat. 188 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,800 With fresh fruit and normal windows and... 189 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,039 ...no Lulu. 190 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,359 Lulu? What? 191 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,359 She wears quirky clothes and she is in love with you 192 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,799 and it's exhausting. 193 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,879 She's not... in love with me. 194 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,359 - Kate, last night, you said... - I didn't say anything, OK. 195 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,079 I'm just never going to drink and paint ever again. 196 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,839 Can I start looking for flats? 197 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,719 Yes. 198 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,159 Where will Lulu go? 199 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,079 I don't care about Lulu. 200 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,879 Good. 201 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,919 He sounds like a nightmare! 202 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,999 He's just always here being relentlessly cheery. 203 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,999 And he's stolen my friend. 204 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,759 Oh, God, I sound like a child! 205 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,999 'No, you don't, Stephen. You really don't. 206 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,519 'But, hey, ' 207 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,319 I'm going ask you something now. 208 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,119 'Are you ready?' 209 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,199 Yes. 210 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:13,200 Are you honest with everyone about how you feel about them? 211 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,039 No. 212 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,639 'Anyone in particular?' 213 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:20,799 Yes. 214 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,800 Well, I think it's time you told them how you feel, Stevo. 215 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,200 He's a knob. 216 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,799 So, voila, Colin, I quit my job today. Let's go. 217 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,879 We can stay with my friend Louis in Poland. 218 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,880 He is an erotic magician. He would love you. 219 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,640 Are you having a stroke? 220 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,239 Who is this? 221 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,240 I'm beginning to feel like I'm one of a long line of Colins. 222 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,839 Am I? 223 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,919 So what if you are? 224 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,599 How many of us are there? 225 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,879 - It doesn't matter. - It does. 226 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,559 You can't deny the resemblance is unnerving. 227 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,039 What is this? Huh? 228 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,079 You stand in my room, you lie in my bed, 229 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:18,080 you dance like a naked angel in my dreams but you won't let me in. 230 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,959 I shouldn't have brought it up. 231 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,960 Ah! You don't like it? Huh? C'est ca? 232 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,880 Do you know how hard it is for me to sleep next to you and not touch your body? 233 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:34,240 Not hold you? Not kiss you. Not poke your little cheeks? 234 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,759 D'accord. Go. 235 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,239 Go back to your wife, her lover, your misery. 236 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,240 - I'm not going to live this torture any more. You GO. - No! 237 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,760 Tonight. 6.30. I will prepare and I will come to you. 238 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:03,000 D'accord. 239 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,519 Hey, get an erection and bring it to my room. 240 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,719 No, honey, it doesn't work like that. He's sleeping. 241 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,879 You already have a semi. 242 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,119 Damn. SHIT. No. No. NO. Cos if Anthony finds out about this... 243 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,839 Lu! There you are... Find out about what? 244 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,919 Find out... that... 245 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,199 Sam's got... 246 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,639 - What? - A semi. - OK. 247 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,039 No! Find out Kate's... 248 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,839 - What? - Pregnant. 249 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,039 What? 250 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,040 - Yeah. Really... - REALLY pregnant. 251 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,800 She told me not to tell you. 252 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,240 - Uh, Kate, quick word. - Bubbles? - What is the occasion? - Oh, I'd rather wait until Anthony gets back. 253 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,319 - OK, I need to... - There's an old people's home in zone three. I have requested a viewing for you. 254 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,639 - But I've done a bad... - Not now, Sam. - Um. Sam, can we talk for a second? 255 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,319 - Hi, team. - Hey, how was Samaritans? 256 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,079 Really interesting day, actually. 257 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,399 Get many callers? 258 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,519 Uh, a little girl who's getting bullied, 259 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,079 a hyperactive dinner lady, and a... 260 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,079 frustrated homosexual. Tragic, actually. 261 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:35,039 Really simple guy just desperate to be much more complicated than he actually is. 262 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,239 He's got a big hard-on for his best friend 263 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,999 and is jealous of the new boyfriend... ya-dee-ya-dee-yada. 264 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,000 Anyway, I think we really got somewhere with him. 265 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,920 I am going to go hit the el bano and then I want your final answer, OK? 266 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,119 - Deal. Don't be long. - OK. 267 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,479 - Are you going to move in with him? - I think so, yeah. 268 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,479 Me and Anthony, too. 269 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,639 - Yay! - Yay! 270 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,599 Yay! 271 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,119 Jesus, there you are! Listen. Kate isn't... 272 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,559 - Is she back? - Yes, but she's not... 273 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,759 I KNEW something freaky was going on. I KNEW it. 274 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,479 I am more intuitive that I give myself credit for. 275 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,919 No, no, you're really not. 276 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,920 I'm fine. I'm going to deal with this really well. 277 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,319 Really, really well. 278 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,479 No, you're not! She's not even... oh, dear! 279 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:32,279 ? I was sailing down the River Jordan. ? 280 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,039 G'day? 281 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,959 G'day? 282 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,359 Why do you think I'm gay? 283 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,839 You think you're so clever. 284 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,239 I'm here to help you. 285 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,599 I want to help. 286 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,600 Answer my question or I'm coming in. 287 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,839 I think you're gay because you obsess about the men in your life. 288 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:13,840 What, just because I care about my friends, it makes me a bender? 289 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:17,359 You need to update your counsel, brother. Give me a better reason. 290 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,159 Because you're obsessed with me. You think about me. 291 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,599 You flash your body at me. 292 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,319 You bitch about me and then to top it off, 293 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,639 you put on a stupid voice and you call my work 294 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,439 and waste the time of a poor little dinner lady who really needed help. 295 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,679 Maybe I need help. 296 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,239 - You need a boyfriend. - Do you think? 297 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,519 Yeah, I do. I really do. 298 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,079 - I think you need to have sex with a man. - Fuck you. 299 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,239 Hey, um... I get it. 300 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,559 I'm up-beat and Australian and a lot of fun. 301 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,719 But I'm in love with your boy Fred. I'm fucking crazy about him. 302 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,879 And either you need to back off, or you need to share him 303 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,880 because I'm not going anywhere and you and I will just end up fighting 304 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,960 till the sun takes his little hat off. 305 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:12,080 It'll be so much better for both of us if you and I just get on. 306 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,519 I told you he wasn't to be trusted! I told you... 307 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,199 Pack your little bag and don't listen to a word he says! 308 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:48,284 - Don't interrupt me! You have not got a dick to stand on! - Guys, guys! - Please don't let him speak. 309 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,399 Will someone tell me what happened? 310 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,679 We were in the shower room - do not interrupt me! 311 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,359 And I was asking this douche about his day. Nice guy. 312 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,399 Then he just opened my shower door, leaned in all monkey chest 313 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,199 and then 314 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,719 Fred. Sam pranked me today at work. He called me... 315 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,599 - Did you kiss him with your mouth? - No. - LIAR! 316 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:11,600 - Sam, I don't know what you're trying to do here. - Did you kiss at all? 317 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,999 Will? 318 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,319 He kissed me. 319 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,239 - Oh, boy! - Fred. I don't know why... 320 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,519 OK. I think um... 321 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,159 - Kate. - Not now, Anthony. There is serious shit going down here 322 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,719 and I'm just delighted it's not about us. - You're pregnant! 323 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,559 - Oh, Jesus. - What?! 324 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:30,759 Why didn't you tell me? 325 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,559 Because I am not pregnant. 326 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:33,919 Yeah, guys... 327 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,239 Not pregnant? Really? 328 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,039 No! I hope not! 329 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,799 Oh, thank God! Thank God! 330 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,359 Thank God! All right! Don't have a party about it. 331 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:47,279 Sorry. Thank God. I just... Sam, what the hell? 332 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:51,322 OK, anyone else got anything they would like to announce to the room before I start self-harming? 333 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,119 OK, in that case. Will, I think we... 334 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,639 Sam's fucking Lulu! 335 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,479 What? 336 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,199 Mate, I am so sorry. She was really pushy. 337 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,319 - Grey area mate, serious. - What the fuck? You promised! 338 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,679 - Promised what? - You can't stop two sexy people... 339 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,199 Yeah, no, I know. I know. 340 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,799 Fuck's sake, man! 341 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,799 - I just... - What? 342 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,800 What, you just wanted them all for yourself? 343 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,079 Red zone! 344 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,519 Ow! What the fuck do you care? 345 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,959 - She's not your girlfriend. - I told you not to do that. 346 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,959 I'm sorry I broke your rules! 347 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,960 Seems like you deal in other people's property in life as well as work, Sam. 348 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,479 Are you punning? 349 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,119 I'm just saying - argh! 350 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:46,239 Ow! 351 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,239 Stop fucking everyone, you PRICK. 352 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,199 Argh! 353 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,559 I don't know who to hit! 354 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,759 You can't help yourself, can you? 355 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,519 Life is a buffet, Anthony. I taught you that! 356 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,479 I think I'm done here. 357 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,959 Just admit you're GAY, mate! 358 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,759 Just admit you're a DICK! Hospital vote. 359 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,760 Will should get the fuck out for kissing me! 360 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,879 Ha! You see that! 361 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,519 Everybody loves me. Everyone wants me round. 362 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,439 I am fantastic. I always win. Always. 363 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,679 I see what I want and I go and I bloody well get it. 364 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,639 And I want little Fred to be my wife 365 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,039 and if that means spending time in this skanky hospital 366 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,040 surrounded by a bunch of insane and unattractive urban gyppos, 367 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,440 so be it, but I will be disinfecting myself the minute 368 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,480 I walk out of here because you all disgust me. 369 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:49,080 Come, little Fred. 370 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:07,040 I think you need to leave the skanky hospital, Will. 371 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,160 You will never meet anyone like me ever again. 372 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:19,240 I'm fantastic. 373 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:30,040 See, I told you he couldn't be trusted, mate. 374 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:37,400 Yeah, you nailed it. 375 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,400 - Mate, I need to find... - I need to find Kate. 376 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,519 Ready? 377 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,520 Oui. 378 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,439 Just tell me one thing. 379 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,919 Anything. 380 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,199 Who's the man in the picture? 381 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,200 Oh! It's my father.28449

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