Original subtitles

[Upbeat instrumental music]

$400?

Whoever said talk is cheap never saw your cell phone bill.

Firstly, there was a really long phone call with a lot of static.

There's no way I'm paying for it.

So, there's 82¢.

You won't be able to pay for this, will you?

Will you stop enjoying my pain?

I'm sorry. Could we have a sec, please?

STYLIST: Sure. ASHLEY: Thanks.

Okay, this is what you do:

You charge it to the show.

- I can do that? - As long as the calls you made...

were essential to your job as executive producer.

Good. 'Cause I am pretty sure they all are.

You called Barneys five times?

I had wardrobe questions.

And these calls to the horse ranch in Texas?

Would you believe there was a casting?

Mary-Kate, you spent $80...

calling that guy you met on our movie in the Bahamas.

Well, that was....

I liked him, okay?

What about this call to the psychic hotline?

I had to see if he liked me.

MARY-KATE: This show won't pay for it? ASHLEY: Nope.

[Theme song plays]

[Upbeat pop music]

RILEY: My gosh! What happened to Larry?

Little wimp got queasy during The Miracle of Birth video in health class.

The birth canal.

How could they not warn us?

Going down again!

[Loud thud]

That's got to hurt.

Lamb chop!

ROB: Those are some slick moves.

Glad to see there's someone else on wheels.

No, I'm not.

My name's Rob. It's my first day here at West Malibu.

Hi, I'm Riley.

Sorry. Rusty wheel.

You should maybe talk to your parents about updating that chair.

Look, Rob, there's something you should know about me.

What's that? You got a boyfriend?

You have the most amazing brown eyes.

So that's no on the boyfriend?

Good. Then there won't be anybody to get mad at you for showing me around.

Let's go, Riley.

Come on, turtle.

I am so asking my parents for a new chair.

[Upbeat pop music]

Pretty girl, are you going to invite me in, or what?

You know I can't do that. The girls will be home any minute.

Come on, I paid for dinner.

No, we used the American Express card. The bill comes here.

Steak and lobster: $85. Coffee and cake: $12.50.

An evening with Jake Carlson: priceless.

As tempting as that sounds...

I still think that we should know what we're doing...

before the girls know what we're doing.

You're right. We should figure it out.

At my place.

Open a bottle of wine, wrapped up in a blanket, listening to the waves....

In your trailer?

- Yeah, that sounds romantic. - Come on!

That murder in trailer number 12 has been solved.

There's no more police tape to crawl under.

How about, maybe, we could go somewhere?

Maybe we could do a little romantic getaway...

a B & B, Santa Barbara.

Maybe talk about taking the next step.

You're the one with the credit card.

[Upbeat pop music]

- Riley, what happened? - Broken toe.

LENNON: Riley, what-- RILEY: Arthritic knees.

Don't even ask!

RILEY: Chloe, help me! CHLOE: Oh, my gosh! What happened?

I'm meeting this guy here.

Really? Is he cute?

Way cute, which is why I'm still in this thing.

- Larry passed out during health class-- - Hello! Birth canal!

I sat in the chair when he went into the nurse's office...

and I started goofing around.

Then Rob came up to me, who really is in a wheelchair...

and I didn't have the heart to tell him.

So, you're pretending to be handicapped?

Physically challenged, Chloe. Could you be a little more PC?

Look, I really like this guy.

But the only reason he talked to me was because I'm in a wheelchair.

If he knows any different, he'll just wheel right out of my life.

You're insane!

What if you two fall in love? You can't keep this up forever.

There you are.

Do the right thing.

I looked all over for you. You're faster than I thought.

Well, that's what they call me. Riley "Zoom Zoom" Carlson.

- This is my sister, Chloe. - Hi.

Look, Rob, you're a really cool guy, and you just deserve the truth.

The truth?

RILEY: Yeah. I'm really-- CHLOE: Gonna be late for something!

CHLOE: Come on, Zoom Zoom. RILEY: Bye.

What happened to doing the right thing?

Did you see his eyes?

[Upbeat pop music]

Pass me some cereal, please.

- What are those? - These are my driving gloves.

Aren't they cool? You can still see my manicure.

MACY: Morning. RILEY AND CHLOE: Morning.

Listen, girls, I have a spring show in Santa Barbara this weekend.

You have a show? No one said anything about a show.

There is no show in Santa Barbara. I know all about the shows.

Manny, there's a show, okay?

I'd know if there's a show or not. And there's a show!

- You have a show? - A show. Tomorrow.

See, they believe me.

Is Dad staying with us?

No, actually, your father is going camping.

With those camping buds, you know, the camping....

RILEY: Place? MACY: Exactly.

MACY: Love you. Bye! RILEY AND CHLOE: Bye.

She's got a guy. It's so obvious.

[Upbeat pop music]

That's game: 15-0.

I think I just might quit from wheelchair badminton.

After school, a bunch of us play basketball. You up for that?

No, I think I'm just gonna stick to wheelchair shopping.

Riley, you wanna quit playing in that wheelchair...

and return it to my office?

Tough love. People really wanna see me get better.

So, how long have you been in your chair for?

I can't remember not being in it. What about you?

Not long.

In fact, it seems like it was just yesterday.

I've had a lot of fun hanging with you.

- I guess I'll see you later. - Wait.

Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight?

I can't.

'Cause, you know, I kind of like you, Riley Carlson.

I kind of like you a lot.

- Pick me up at 7:00. - It's a date.

Chloe!

Cammie?

Do you know who I just spilled coffee on?

- Adam Sandler? - No, that was last week.

Mel Taylor.

- Who? - He's a commercial director.

You know what? They're filming a commercial here at the Newsstand...

and they need somebody to play the waitress.

That's cool.

- So who's going to play you? - Hopefully, me.

And I think I have a pretty good shot.

I mean, think about it: I work here. I'm an actress.

And I look just like me. What more could they want?

So, what are you skinny chicks here for?

[Speaks with thick accent] Hi. My name is Inga.

My special talents include rock climbing...

kayaking, and the luge.

Very nice.

My name is Rachel. I'm 5'11", I weigh 120 pounds.

I just played opposite the Pillsbury Doughboy...

in the Poppin' Fresh cinnamon roll commercial.

DIRECTOR: Very good.

[Cammie clears her throat]

Hi. My name is Cammie Morton.

I'm a smidge under five feet tall.

I weigh a little bit more than her.

I received very good reviews as Woodstock...

in the Malibu Middle School production of:

You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

It was a non-speaking role.

We'll call you.

[Upbeat pop music]

How is everything this evening?

- I have a question. - Yes, madam?

Why is there no wheelchair ramp?

As if it isn't difficult enough, we have to struggle to get in.

- Riley, it's okay. - No, it's not okay.

If we don't see any changes, we're gonna take our business elsewhere.

Free crème brûlée?

Extra whipped cream?

I'm sorry, but I just hate it when we're marginalized like that.

I just try to make the best of every situation.

Sure I had to give a little push to get in here...

but I also had to give you a little push to go out with me.

Both seem to be going okay.

See, I just love the way you handle yourself.

I mean, you're in that chair...

but you're just always so happy and positive.

See, there's that smile again. I never see you without that smile.

It's hard to not smile when I'm around you.

A toast.

To the first time I saw you in the hallway...

- your eyes, your laugh. - My wheelchair.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm in one myself.

But even if I wasn't, I would've asked you out anyway...

because I like you for who you are.

- I'm not in a wheelchair. - What?

- I can walk. - I don't understand.

I've been pretending this whole time.

I was just goofing around in the wheelchair.

I didn't wanna tell the truth because I thought you would walk out of my life.

But you can't walk. And I can.

And that's what makes me such a horrible person.

I'm sorry, Rob.

All right. Newsstand commercial. Take one.

And action!

Can I offer you something from our fine Newsstand selection...

of exclusive coffees and "muff-ins"?

Cut!

What the heck is the "muff-in"?

- It's a "pa-stry." - A "pa-stry"?

Can you believe she got the role instead of me?

What does she have that I don't?

- Well.... - You are so shallow.

Let's take it again.

And action!

Can I offer you something...

from our fine selection of exclusive coffees or "do-nuts"?

Cut!

Donuts! It's donuts.

Can't anybody here get me a simple donut?

Here's a donut.

Wait a minute. You're the girl from the audition.

The waitress. You were Linus.

Woodstock, yeah.

Well, you just got yourself a part, you lucky bird.

Okay, I'm ready for my close-up.

Actually, we need you...

to be right over here.

Just read these lines into the microphone.

Okay, Inga, I'm ready for you now.

And action!

Wait, I don't understand. There's no camera.

Just read the lines.

And action!

Can I offer you something from the Newsstand's....

See, this is so not working for me.

[Upbeat pop music]

Are you sure you two girls are gonna be okay in this house alone tonight?

Yes. We're just gonna watch some videos, make some popcorn.

You know, girl stuff.

Okay, now, listen: I put a massive, super-size burrito in the micro.

But it's important, you have to rotate it.

- Okay, rotate, I know. - Rotate that burrito.

CHLOE: Bye, Manny. Have fun.

CHLOE: Rotate, I know.

Is the coast clear?

- Riley. - I know, I'm going.

Who's the good sister?

- Well, here we are. - Yep, we're here.

- Do you wanna watch the video? - Do you wanna listen to music?

[Doorbell rings]

It's probably Manuelo.

Hey, guys. Are we the first ones here?

- Here for what? - The party.

We heard your parents were out of town.

Don't worry, we'll just sit on the couch with you guys and wait...

until everybody gets here.

[Upbeat pop music]

I hope you don't mind, I invited a few people.

Riley, can we get some more chips? A little dip, maybe?

It was one thing when you wanted me to hide upstairs...

but now I'm hostessing your party?

I'm not the one who invited all these people.

[Doorbell rings]

Riley, can you be a china doll and get that for me?

RILEY: Rob.

- What are you doing here? - I heard about your party.

I brought Jolt. Can I come in?

Don't worry. I'm not gonna roll over your foot or anything.

No. I guess I'm just a little surprised to see you here.

You were the one that walked out on me, remember?

Rob, I'm sorry, I just--

It's not the walking out part that bothered me.

It's that you left.

I mean, why didn't you just tell me the truth from the start?

I thought that if you knew I was different, then you just wouldn't like me.

You don't have to be ashamed of who you are.

So you're not in a wheelchair.

I still think you're cool.

- You do? - Of course.

Now let's get this party cranking.

- Wanna dance? - I'd love to.

You should see my moonroll.

[Upbeat pop music playing]

[Pop music continues]

Come on. All these tight T-shirts you used to wear, I mean...

what was I gonna think?

Okay. Look at me here. I am the epitome of masculinity.

You're wearing pink pants and espadrilles.

It was the '80s. Pastels were in. Come on!

Oh, God. Look at all these pictures.

Yeah. They're more than just pictures, they're memories.

They're real special memories.

I brought a camera so we can make more memories in Santa Barbara.

- Come on, let's go. - Macy, wait.

Something just doesn't quite feel right about Santa Barbara.

Well, let's go to Palm Springs.

Jake, I just can't stay another night in this trailer.

The coyotes digging through the trash just really don't do it for me.

That's not it.

You're saying you're going to a show, I'm saying I'm going camping.

I feel like we're teenagers sneaking around behind our parents' backs.

Except, this time, our parents are little 15-year-old girls.

So listen. I think I figured out what the next step is.

We've gotta be honest with Riley and Chloe.

But what if we get grounded?

Hopefully, they'll put us in the same room.

- What the.... - We can explain.

- What are you.... - We can explain.

Mr. and Mrs. Carlson: great party.

At no point in the evening were Larry and I ever making out in your bedroom.

- Cammie! - I said at no point.

Goodbye, Larry.

Bye.

What's going on? Mom, I thought you had a show.

And I thought you were at a camping thing.

Never mind us, okay?

What on earth is going on here?

RILEY: Larry said.... CHLOE: He didn't think everyone....

Wait. Where have you two been?

- Your mom and I were.... - We were gonna maybe....

MACY: I know we said....

Riley, Chloe....

Your father and I have been dating.

For real?

You have?

Dad, you were the guy Mom was sneaking around with.

I sure hope so.

Cut! All right. Great work, you guys.

DIRECTOR: Next week's script is on the table.

MARY-KATE: Okay. DIRECTOR: Thank you.

ASHLEY: Have fun in yoga. MARY-KATE: Thank you.

AMY: Guys, can I get a picture of you? DIRECTOR: Great job, everybody.

- The food's free, right? - Yeah. The show pays for all the food.

This should hold me till Monday.

I am sick of spending my money.

[Phone rings]

Hello?

Yeah, hold on.

It's for you. I can't believe you gave out my number.

Phone calls are expensive. Especially from the Bahamas.

[Upbeat instrumental music]

[Theme music plays]

SDH subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER

English - SDH