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- Previously on awkward...
2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:04,169
- Jenna!
3
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,505
They need to know their son
is having sex.
4
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,173
- I found things.
Condom wrappers.
5
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,809
- Mom...
- Jenna won't get pregnant.
6
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,711
I put her on the pill.
7
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,546
[laughs]
8
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,282
- Can I crash here
for the night?
9
00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:20,819
- For a week, matty had been
on my living room couch
10
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,087
With full parental consent.
11
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,589
We were living in sin
12
00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:25,024
With constant easy access...
13
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:27,993
[drill whirring]
- โช I see you every time
14
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:28,627
- For my dad.
15
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,630
[squeals]
- โช I close my eyes
16
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,898
โช the evening shadows
17
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,366
- "while living
under a microscope
18
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,567
"was not always ideal,
19
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,269
"I was willing to make
the sacrifice
20
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,639
"to be up close and personal
to the perfect specimen
21
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,175
"otherwise known
as my boyfriend.
22
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:47,179
He was massively hot,
wise, and--"
23
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:47,980
Intrusive.
24
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:50,182
But, given our intimate
proximity,
25
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,684
We had grown close.
26
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:56,188
One could argue too close...
27
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,324
For comfort.
28
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:05,831
[alarm beeping]
- [groans]
29
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,600
Matty's "staycation" at my house
had been exciting.
30
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,070
Until my lips started
to crack from overuse.
31
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:13,405
Their recovery required
a little extra time
32
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,039
In the bathroom.
33
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:17,676
So I had to make sure
I got there before he did.
34
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,811
- Morning.
35
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:21,280
- Or I would never
get to use it.
36
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,015
[splurt]
37
00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:25,384
- Isn't there a bathroom
you can do this in?
38
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:28,554
- No. Mom is in yours.
Matty is in mine.
39
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:31,523
And the guest sink
is too small.
40
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:34,159
[water running]
agh! Cold, cold!
41
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:34,993
Ooh.
42
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,728
Now there is no hot water.
43
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,530
What the hell
is he doing in there?
44
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,500
- Hmm. Mixin' the creamer.
45
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,434
Boys have needs.
46
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,303
You know, for their hygiene.
47
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,171
- Dad...I need your help.
48
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,674
It's been fun
having matty here and all,
49
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:51,443
But I need my space back.
50
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,277
And my bathroom.
51
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,412
Think you could make
a subtle inquiry
52
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,814
Into his timetable for
vacating the premises?
53
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:58,383
- He's going through some
tough stuff on the home front.
54
00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,518
We need to be supportive.
55
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,319
- Like mom's bras?
56
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,754
Notice she's been wearing
bigger pushups lately?
57
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,622
- No.
- Well, she has,
58
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:07,192
And I can guarantee
they're not for you.
59
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:09,194
- Good morning!
60
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,463
Thanks, babe.
61
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,432
- Are you wearing a new bra?
62
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,133
- Why, yes, I am.
63
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,168
- You know, I think
it's time for matty to--
64
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,035
- Toss my sheets in the laundry.
65
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,737
Are you sure your want me
to leave the comforter
66
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,372
Folded on the couch?
I can hide it.
67
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,240
- Don't sweat it, honey.
68
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,774
The fact that you
even made your bed
69
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:26,645
Is more than I can say for...
Other people.
70
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,346
- The morning dig.
71
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,182
For my mother, it was
the best part of waking up.
72
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,651
- Kevin, the garage door
is still stuck.
73
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,353
I had to park on the street
last night.
74
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,954
Do you know what
a dash-and-drizzle
75
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,523
Does to a blowout?
- Not a clue.
76
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:39,625
- I could take a look
at the garage door.
77
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:40,893
Maybe this weekend?
78
00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:42,961
- Excellent.
79
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,131
- I almost forgot.
80
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,704
- Lunch? You haven't made me
lunch since kindergarten.
81
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,207
- And I feel really bad
about that.
82
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,976
So I'm making up
for lost time.
83
00:02:58,444 --> 00:02:59,478
- He may never leave.
84
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,180
Matty gets the cow, the milk,
85
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,214
And to live in the barn
for free.
86
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,983
And you need to do a better job
with your wakeup makeup.
87
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,018
- I'm not wearing any makeup.
88
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,020
- Maybe you should.
You're starting to look old.
89
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,022
You could easily pass for 25.
- Thanks.
90
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,590
- And what's up
with the angel hair?
91
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,926
- Oh, it's frizzy
from my whore bath.
92
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,761
- No, I mean...
93
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:17,462
The angel hair.
94
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,164
- Pasta.
Matty's favorite.
95
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,799
We have had it every night.
96
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,134
- Why should you be
forced to carbo load
97
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:23,468
Because he ran away
from home?
98
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,670
Does he know
how cramped you feel?
99
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:27,172
- I'm trying to hide it.
But how can he be so oblivious?
100
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,074
- It is like
living at a resort
101
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:32,244
That serves sex, spaghetti,
and sports center.
102
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,745
I don't even miss home.
- Really?
103
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,714
- Nope, not at all.
I am more than comfortable.
104
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,848
- You haven't worn out
your welcome?
105
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,917
- Psh, nah.
Jenna's cool with it.
106
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:39,818
- I am so not cool with it.
107
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,421
- We share everything--
her bathroom, deodorant.
108
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,156
- I think he's been
using my toothbrush.
109
00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:47,259
- Uck!
- She lets me watch sports 24/7.
110
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,161
- He cleared my tivo
for espn.
111
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,495
- What about
the real housewives?
112
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:53,031
- It's as if they were
never real at all.
113
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,433
- Are you getting any action?
114
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,434
- Nightly.
115
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,435
- Every...Night.
116
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,469
- How do you poop
when he's always
117
00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,971
Hijacking your safe space?
- I don't.
118
00:03:58,973 --> 00:04:00,872
- What? He's been
at your house for over a week.
119
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,507
- I know.
- Jenna, a backup like that
120
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:05,277
Could easily become a blowup.
He has to move out.
121
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,079
- You can never leave.
122
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:07,813
- Oh, hey.
123
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,549
- Hey.
- Jenna, how you doing?
124
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,117
- Hi.
125
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,019
- Oh. Um...
126
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,287
I should get to class.
127
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,423
- Don't forget
to take your pill.
128
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,026
Your mom told me
to remind you.
129
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,896
- Hey! I wanted
to make sure
130
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:25,831
You're bringing alcohol
tonight.
131
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,866
- I'm always down
for a booze schmooze.
132
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:28,500
What are we doing?
133
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,535
- The annual cheer sleepover
at sadie's.
134
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:31,970
Didn't you get the email?
135
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:32,537
- No.
136
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,072
- Maybe it went to spam.
- Maybe.
137
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,774
Did you get the one
about pom-pom hygiene?
138
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,508
- Purelled and polished.
139
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,976
- The new dance pants?
- High cut.
140
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,679
- And I wonder
what kind of...
141
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,715
I'll be right back.
142
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:54,893
Actually, there's not gonna be
a sleepover this year.
143
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,896
I got confused.
It happens.
144
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,698
Bye!
145
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:00,532
- She just froze me out.
146
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,100
- Why would you want to spend
a night at sadie's anyway?
147
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:05,570
- Because she is still treating
me like I'm the cheer alternate
148
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:07,172
When I am the cheer ultimate.
149
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,573
I'm going to that party.
- Are you sure?
150
00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,742
- Yes! Sleepovers
are game changers.
151
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,611
And I give
professional sleepover.
152
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,847
The key is not to sleep
until it's over.
153
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,283
- And then we hiked out
of the canyon
154
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:20,852
And back into reality.
155
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:25,023
My guide was gone,
and suddenly...
156
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:29,161
My life made sense.
157
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,965
- Are you done?
I couldn't tell.
158
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,768
Hamilton, what'd you think?
159
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,303
- [clears throat]
160
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:41,473
I thought it was...
161
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:44,042
A little pretentious.
162
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:44,943
- Really?
- Yeah.
163
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,245
Taking acid in the desert,
quoting hunter s. Thompson,
164
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,381
And writing about
a half-peyote shaman
165
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,950
That you hallucinated--
it's cliche
166
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:52,617
And obvious.
167
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:55,287
- Easy, hamilton, you're
describing my early 20s.
168
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:56,488
[laughter]
169
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,790
Then again,
I was a stupid kid.
170
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,593
I didn't understand life.
171
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:04,096
Or pain.
Or love.
172
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:05,530
Or how to write
a damn thing...
173
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:09,801
That wasn't an attempt
to seem cool.
174
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:13,538
Humility, mr. Jennings.
175
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,341
It's a very important
part of the process.
176
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,978
And, although I don't agree with
"hambien" over here,
177
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,680
She does make a good point.
178
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,449
It's easy to go
where expected, guys.
179
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,685
Don't go there.
180
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,387
Now...
181
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,188
Ms. Hamilton.
182
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:42,134
- Ooh! Sorry. Sorry.
[laughter]
183
00:06:42,136 --> 00:06:43,034
- You okay?
- Yeah, I--
184
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,704
Just a little
sleep deprivation at home.
185
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:48,540
- My suggestion: Grab a nice
glass of warm milk
186
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,341
With one of your essays.
187
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:50,475
If you're anything like me,
188
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,144
It'll knock you right out.
189
00:06:52,146 --> 00:06:53,812
[school bell rings]
190
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:57,315
- All right, that's it, turds.
See you guys later.
191
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,385
- Jenna.
192
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,387
I just wanted to thank you.
193
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:04,156
- For what?
- Your candor in class.
194
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:06,057
- Listen, I am tired
and out of it.
195
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,193
I don't have patience
for your sarcasm.
196
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,661
- I wasn't being sarcastic.
197
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,863
It was sincere.
You were right.
198
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,733
My story was pretentious,
and I'm okay with that.
199
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,934
But...Obvious?
200
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,905
That's the last thing
I want to be.
201
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,006
So thanks for being honest.
202
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,175
It's a...
Hard thing to do.
203
00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:24,376
- Collin was the last guy
204
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,544
I thought could
handle the truth.
205
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,646
But if he could,
maybe matty could too.
206
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,449
- And since I'm all about
quid pro quo,
207
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,251
You might want
to check out a mirror.
208
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,421
You've got a bit
of a 'stache.
209
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,027
- Little experiment
gone awry, huh?
210
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,863
Bet you wish you would have
drawn it on your finger instead.
211
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,997
Less of a commitment.
212
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:46,765
- I didn't do it.
213
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,201
It's was mr. Hart's
idea of a joke.
214
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:49,935
Fell asleep in class.
215
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:53,305
- Ah, result of some
late-night sex play
216
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,673
With the live-in?
217
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,007
Mm, mm, mm?
218
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:56,842
How's it going?
219
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,343
- To be honest,
it's changed things.
220
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,812
I mean...
I want to be there
221
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,113
For matty
during this hard time.
222
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,715
I just don't want him
to be there with me.
223
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:06,785
- You need the lovin', but you
want to bring back the mystery.
224
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,119
I feel ya.
- How do I do that
225
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,489
Without hurting
matty's feelings?
226
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,491
J, you came
to the right place.
227
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:15,560
I am an expert at getting men
to leave my pad,
228
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,662
Most often in the dark
cover of night,
229
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,630
While I'm sleeping.
230
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,867
Okay, just
brainstorming here.
231
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:22,901
Ideas.
[sighs]
232
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,403
Ideas, ideas, ideas.
233
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:26,304
Get a cat.
234
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,372
- What's a cat gonna do?
235
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,874
- Right.
Better make it two.
236
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,976
While some men can handle
the warm purr
237
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:34,446
Of a single kitty,
they can't handle a cat's cat.
238
00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:37,415
Oh, and look for one
with anal gland issues.
239
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,784
Unwanted cat splat
will send him a-packin'.
240
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,419
- Val, I'm not getting
any pets.
241
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,988
- Tried sharing
his neti pot?
242
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,556
- I don't even know
what that is.
243
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,124
- Baby talk during sex!
244
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,059
Oh. Ahem.
245
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,661
[baby voice]
ohh...
246
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:53,431
Matty watty,
your little peeny weenie
247
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,100
Is sho shnuggly wuggly.
248
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:58,036
- I want him to move out,
not move on.
249
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,404
- Well, that's all I got.
250
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,805
Ugh, look at the time.
251
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,340
If you have
any follow-up questions,
252
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,276
You can call,
text, or tweet.
253
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:08,547
Bowling lesson.
I gots to go.
254
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:09,748
[stomach rumbling]
255
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:12,584
Suddenly, so did I.
256
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:14,019
The coast was clear.
257
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:15,854
I finally had the house
to myself.
258
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,823
My guilty pleasures had been
piling up all week,
259
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,892
But with no throne
to perch on,
260
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,360
I couldn't truly enjoy them.
261
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:25,630
It was time
to take care of business.
262
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,532
Uh, what are you
doing here?
263
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,067
- Practice was canceled.
- Ohh. Oh.
264
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,069
Bet you my mom
made you a snack.
265
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,270
You wanna meet me
in the kitchen?
266
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,872
- I'm not really hungry.
- Can you try to be?
267
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,607
'cause I really,
really need to catch up
268
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,042
On these important
cultural critiques.
269
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,310
- Important.
- Yes, and I need to do it
270
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:41,346
In there, alone, with scented
candles and dim lighting,
271
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,981
And you are
driving me crazy!
272
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:46,084
I love you,
but I love myself too,
273
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:46,851
And I need space.
274
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,386
And my bathroom
and my hair products.
275
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,288
And I need privacy, matty!
- Okay, slow down.
276
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,456
- I can't, I've kept it
all bottled up,
277
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:55,760
And I just need to let it--
[passes gas loudly]
278
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:02,667
- Your parents
called to remind you
279
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,769
That they're going
to the hollywood bowl tonight.
280
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,071
Won't be home till late.
281
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,205
- Good to know.
282
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:10,342
- And your mom left money
for pizza.
283
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,879
Or we could just head over
to the chili cook-off.
284
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,648
[both snicker]
285
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:17,315
- [laughing]
286
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,050
- Matty, I am so sorry.
- Oh, don't apologize.
287
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,053
Every once in a while, we all
have to let out a little steam.
288
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:23,021
- Oh, shut up.
289
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:23,688
- No, hey, hey, hey.
290
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,358
You were right to explode.
- Don't--
291
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,693
[snickering]
292
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:29,628
I am a dude.
293
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,796
We can be a little oblivious.
294
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,099
I didn't mean to put
so much pressure on you.
295
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,101
[chuckles]
I have a solution.
296
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,169
I will call jake, and I can
head over there tonight.
297
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,605
- Somehow, matty had
made it comfortable
298
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,207
To be uncomfortable.
299
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,341
Don't.
300
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,743
If you're comfortable here,
301
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,012
You should stay
as long as you like.
302
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,146
- Really?
303
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,180
- No.
304
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,081
But stay the night.
305
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,216
We had turned off
the pressure,
306
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:54,285
Which meant it was time
to turn on the fun
307
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,353
And shift matty's gears
308
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,988
From brother to lover.
309
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,423
- What do you want to do?
310
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,992
- Something we've never
done before.
311
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,161
- You don't have to do this.
- But I do.
312
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,229
If those girls
smell fear in me,
313
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:07,632
I'll never be accepted.
- Tamara, they're evil.
314
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,900
Do you remember
lee anne hodges?
315
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:09,734
- The girl who transferred
316
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,002
To the school
for the performing arts?
317
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,170
- She's not
performing anything
318
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,205
Except one flewover the cuckoo's nest,
319
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:14,806
24 hours a day.
320
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,042
She's at a psychiatric
facility...
321
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:17,442
In utah.
322
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,377
She checked in after those girls
made her check out.
323
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,280
- I call shenanigans.
They're just cheerleaders.
324
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,114
- Who are out for blood.
325
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,417
Just promise me that if
anything goes wrong in there,
326
00:11:25,419 --> 00:11:27,719
You'll say the word?
- What word? Our safe word?
327
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,787
- We don't have a safe word.
328
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,523
- Then we need one.
What is it?
329
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,458
- Stop.
330
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,160
- You know, I'm gonna be fine.
331
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:38,897
As they say, there is
always safety in numbers.
332
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,969
- You can't handle this.
333
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,005
It might be painful.
334
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:47,572
And dirty.
335
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,240
- Oh, the dirtier
the better.
336
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,843
- You sure?
- I'm ready.
337
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,146
Pick your porn.
338
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,816
- How 'bout that one?
339
00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:01,419
- Asian persuasion 9?
340
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,288
You think ming is hot?
341
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,090
- No.
- So she's not?
342
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:08,660
- Eh, she's not not...
343
00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:09,294
Hot.
344
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:10,061
This is a trick question.
345
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,297
- I'm kidding.
Grow a funny bone.
346
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,865
- I'm trying to.
347
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,934
- Oh, harry potterand the half-blood whore.
348
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:19,070
- Call me dumbledore,
and I will show you my staff.
349
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,305
- [laughs]
350
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,172
I can't watch wizard porn.
351
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,507
- But it's the only one
with a story.
352
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,175
- Why do you need a story
beyond "this goes into that,
353
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,344
Repeat until everyone
makes a weird face."
354
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:27,178
- Because that sounds gross.
355
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,146
- Why are we
doing this again?
356
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,647
- 'cause...
We've gotten
357
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:31,149
Way too comfortable
with each other,
358
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,251
And we need
to shake things up.
359
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,252
- We need to shake things up.
360
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,353
When are the other girls
gonna get here?
361
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,822
- Never. No one wants
to deal with sadie
362
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,090
Now that she's broke.
363
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,658
She can't soothe
her sadism
364
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,793
With spa treatments
anymore.
365
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,262
- So it's just
the three of us?
366
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,132
- Yeah.
- I gotta make a call.
367
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:47,799
- [sighs]
368
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,068
- Jake, you need to stop
doing whatever you're doing
369
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,337
And stop me from staying
the night--hurry!
370
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,939
- Consuela's gonna give us
mani-pedis,
371
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,374
But she only has energy
for two,
372
00:12:56,376 --> 00:13:00,645
So, tamara, feel free
to wait outside...
373
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,980
With my dog.
374
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,381
- Thanks for your lack
of hospitality,
375
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,749
But I think
I'm gonna head out.
376
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:07,252
- Good! Now I won't feel bad
talking [bleep] about you
377
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,920
To your face.
- Oh, please.
378
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:10,688
Don't hold back.
- Really?
379
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,324
Because I do have
a question for you.
380
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,325
- Bring it.
381
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,493
- When you kiss jake,
382
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,928
Does it taste like jenna?
383
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,663
- I don't know--
when you kissed ricky,
384
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,864
Did it taste like me?
385
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:20,832
- Skitch.
- Whore.
386
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,300
- Guys, let's not
get wound up.
387
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,670
- Consuela,
get my spirit board.
388
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,877
- Unlocking the afterlife
can be really dangerous.
389
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:33,645
We should keep it locked.
390
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,680
How about we play
"light as a feather" instead?
391
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,248
- Ricky, if you can hear me,
392
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,716
Set the record straight.
393
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:42,921
Did you love me
more than this [bleep].
394
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:51,696
- Ricky, were you attracted
to sadie's mannish appearance
395
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,833
Because you were gay?
396
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,305
- Guys, I--
I brought tangled.
397
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:05,410
- Did the thought of tamara's
face put you in the grave?
398
00:14:06,745 --> 00:14:10,281
- Or did sadie shove you
in there herself?
399
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:17,121
- Was your death an accident?
400
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,226
- [gasps]
401
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,828
- Did someone kill you?
402
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,263
Both: Who killed you?
403
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,931
- This is not okay!
404
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:30,101
Let the spirits rest!
405
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:34,038
- I need a ride home.
406
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,974
- Okay.
Just waiting on tamara.
407
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,175
- She's not coming.
408
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,543
[phone bloops]
409
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:39,277
She's not coming.
410
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,912
- Do you believe
in the afterlife?
411
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:41,479
- In what way?
412
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,848
- In the way that your sins
come back to haunt you.
413
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,183
- You mean like karma?
414
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,184
- Yeah.
415
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:46,985
- Sure.
416
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,420
- I think god's punishing me.
417
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,521
- โช oh oh oh โช
418
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,157
- I lost my virginity
this summer.
419
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,827
- [british accent] I'm not ready
to lose my virginity.
420
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,896
- Is that supposed to
be hermione?
421
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,431
- Less watching,
more kissing.
422
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,834
Mmm.
- [on tv] oh, yeah!
423
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:03,902
Ohh!
424
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,069
- Why would someone do this?
425
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,472
- Oh, I don't know.
Costume fetish?
426
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:10,341
[both giggle]
427
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,876
- Oh. I'm sorry.
428
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:12,911
But look at that girl.
429
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:13,745
She's actually pretty.
430
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,546
She could have been
a real actress.
431
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,015
- Yeah, if she could act.
432
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,316
- She's probably a runaway.
433
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,818
- So?
- So it's disturbing.
434
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,487
It's not like there are
little girls who run around
435
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,255
Saying, "when I grow up,
I want to have sex
436
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,323
With strange men
on camera."
437
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:27,892
It's sad.
- What's sad is how much
438
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,494
You're killing the moment.
439
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:30,161
- Way to be insensitive.
440
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,597
It's not like those girls
have their boyfriends' homes
441
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:36,935
To run off to
when things get tough.
442
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,670
- You know, I'm--
I'm tired.
443
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:39,304
I'm gonna crash.
444
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,440
I'll be out of here
in the morning.
445
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,812
- That's it.
Let it happen.
446
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,348
Off to dreamland.
- No.
447
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,250
No, I won't go there.
448
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,685
Unless you want
to call a truce?
449
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:55,887
If you let me sleep,
I will let you sleep
450
00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:57,288
And I'll leave
first thing in the morning.
451
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,890
You don't even
have to feed me.
452
00:15:58,892 --> 00:15:59,991
- Oh, I won't.
453
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:01,392
Good.
- Great.
454
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,961
Both: Truce.
455
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,436
- Your bed is the floor.
456
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,204
Or you can sleep
in my dog's bed,
457
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,172
Since he's with consuela.
458
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,307
- But there's plenty of room
for both of us in yours.
459
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,712
- It's non-negotiable.
I don't co-sleep.
460
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:34,392
- [whimpering and crying]
461
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,194
- What is wrong with you?
462
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,062
- I have a bad back.
463
00:16:38,064 --> 00:16:40,832
- And I don't care.
464
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,634
- [whimpering like a dog]
465
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,136
- Are you gonna
do that all night
466
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,804
Unless I let you up here?
467
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,006
- Yes.
- Fine!
468
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,308
But don't touch me.
469
00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,979
- [sighs]
470
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,892
Matty, we need to talk.
471
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,328
- Uh, not now.
472
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,096
- I'm sorry.
473
00:17:12,098 --> 00:17:15,133
I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
474
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,668
Please don't make me
do this through the door.
475
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,870
- I'll just be a minute.
476
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,004
- That's when
I realized matty
477
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,340
Might have been working out
another problem.
478
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:25,343
- Oh, my god,
are you shaking the...
479
00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:37,288
- So our comfort zone had
finally gotten uncomfortable.
480
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,122
For both of us.
481
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:41,726
I finally realized
matty didn't need a lover.
482
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,728
He needed a mother.
483
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,899
Maybe it's time
you talked to your parents.
484
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:48,866
- Why?
485
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,737
They haven't called
since I left.
486
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,105
- That's pride.
487
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,306
I didn't talk to jennifer
488
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,941
Days after she found out
I wrote the letter,
489
00:17:56,943 --> 00:18:00,845
And I'm the one
who made that mess.
490
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,447
- And what'd she do?
491
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,681
- She let me process...
492
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,983
How to talk to her
and then,
493
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,552
When I didn't,
494
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,587
She found the strength
to talk to me.
495
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,657
There's no instruction manual
on how to parent.
496
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:17,495
Sometimes, our kids have
to teach us what they need.
497
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,698
Jenna did that for me.
498
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,468
Maybe you could do that
for your mom too?
499
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:26,037
- โช charade's all over โช
500
00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:30,108
โช why are we so sad?
501
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,782
- What...The...[bleep]?
502
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:38,783
- Ooh!
[thud]
503
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,618
- What the [bleep]?
504
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,686
- You were touching me.
505
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,288
- Don't get excited.
I'm a snuggle bug.
506
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,223
Any warm body will do,
507
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,024
Especially one
that's bigger than mine.
508
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,228
- It's morning.
You can leave now.
509
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,195
- I'm going.
510
00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:52,763
Can I get a ride?
511
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,332
- Consuela has sundays off.
512
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:55,666
- What about your parents?
513
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:56,968
- They're not home.
514
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,035
- Where are they?
515
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:58,769
- Don't [bleep] with me.
516
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,471
I know you know
my dad left the country
517
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,074
And my mom's holed up somewhere
for exhaustion.
518
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,775
- So it's true.
519
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,145
You are broke.
- Yeah, so what?
520
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,646
Are you gonna
tell everybody?
521
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,014
- Yeah!
I have a big mouth.
522
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:10,982
If you want me
to keep quiet,
523
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,016
You're gonna have
to threaten me.
524
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,885
- If you say a [bleep] word,
I will ensure
525
00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:17,221
That you also break your neck
during practice.
526
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,957
- Your secret's safe.
527
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:24,829
- Hey.
528
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:28,199
I'm, uh, I'm gonna take off.
529
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,734
Get get of your hair.
530
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,435
- Are you going to jake's?
531
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:32,803
- No, I'm gonna go home.
532
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,405
Your mom gave me
some good advice.
533
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:35,406
I'll see if it works.
534
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,608
- โช how I climbed
your city's walls โช
535
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:38,976
- Okay.
- Okay.
536
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,078
- โช do you remember me
- are we okay?
537
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,914
- โช how I prayed
for your calls โช
538
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,182
- Yeah.
539
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,616
- โช I stood
540
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,885
- By the way, what did you
think I was doing
541
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:48,586
In the bathroom?
542
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:51,455
- Oh, thought you were,
you know...
543
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,391
Shakin' the creamer.
544
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,127
- Oh. No.
545
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:58,362
I do that in the shower.
546
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,230
- โช I did behave
547
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,266
- It was the first time in days
I could relax.
548
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,235
I was free to do
anything I wanted
549
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,237
In the privacy
of my own room,
550
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,071
Within limits,
551
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:10,174
Since my dad had yet
to put the lock back on.
552
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,609
My space was finally safe.
553
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:15,179
But suddenly,
it felt empty.
554
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,682
[knock on door]
555
00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:23,020
- I forgot something.
556
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,021
- โช I was a fool
557
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,856
- So apparently,
we were back to normal,
558
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:30,661
And all it took was confining
matty's access to the back door.
559
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,164
The actual back door.
560
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,968
- Next on awkward,
it was Halloween...
561
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:37,768
- Where's your costume?
562
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,971
- But it really didn't matter
what I was wearing
563
00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:40,805
Because I was...
- Boring.
564
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,374
What does he see in her?
- Hey, what's going on?
565
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,442
- I'm not good enough for matty.
566
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,043
He's hot, and I'm not,
567
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:46,844
And everyone knows it.
568
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,279
- My girlfriend
is throwing a party.
569
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,181
- Why don't we bail
on cebre's party
570
00:20:50,183 --> 00:20:52,950
And crash
a cooler one instead.
======
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