All language subtitles for Abbott.Elementary.S04E14.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab

I know you're
standing behind me.

Hey. So, did you see my e-mail

about asking for a water
heater at the district meeting

so that we can start actually
washing our hands in hot water

and I can regain the
color in my fingertips?

Ugh! Get those cold
paws out of my face.

I don't read e-mails
before 1:00 p.m.

Tomorrow is the annual
district budget meeting,

where schools plead their
case to the school board

to receive funding,
blah, blah, blah.

But thanks to the golf course,
or should I say thanks to me

and my black belt in blackmail,

we actually have what
we need for a change.

So now we get to ask for
the finer things in life...

like hot water.

Look. It's really not
that big of an ask.

Just one late bus twice a week

for my Goofballs
and the step team.

Yes. Ava, the kids need
two-ply toilet paper.

And I don't want to say
why, but we all know why.

Okay. No. Ava. Some of the kids,
they've never seen a live fish,

so we need to a-carry-them
to the aquarium.

Yeah, but you're
wasting your time.

Yeah. School board says
"no" to everything.

Sometimes there's a
school they say yes to.

Remember when they
gave Franklin West

all those double-sided erasers?

That was huge.

The Great Erasening... Mm-hmm.

It's a crapshoot.

You never know what's
gonna get them to say yes.

Well, this year, my
presentation is on point,

so I'm asking for all of it.

I did the Ed Talk for them,

and whilst doing that
very gracious favor

that they owe me for,
I learned how to speak

fluent District.

Mm! "Equity. Action item."

Hm.

"Deliverables.

Academic rigor. KPIs."

What the hell's a KPI?

Let's "circle back" on that.

Ohh! Barbara: Impressive.

Oh, are you two lovebirds

making plans for the
holiday tomorrow?

Oh. T-Tomorrow.
What is tomorrow?

Is it President's Day?

Hm. What's tomorrow, Gregory?

You know,
I'm not sure,

but you tryin' to
kick it, my guy?

I don't know. It's an
ordinary day to me, playboy.

We're kidding.

Yeah, we know it's
Valentine's Day.

Didn't buy tickets. Don't
want to see the show.

Well, it's our
first Valentine's Day

together as a couple.

We usually go hard
for our holidays.

But for some reason,
the school board decided

to schedule the district
budget meeting on the same day.

Yeah, and we're
gonna be exhausted,

so we figured we'd just
chill at my place for V-Day.

Watch a nice rom-com.
Yeah. Low stakes.

No steaks. Although,
I would like a burger.

We can get you a burger.

Aww.

He's such a provider.

So, what improvements to society

did the second Industrial
Revolution bring about?

RJ, hit me.

Better ways of communicating.

Yes! Great!

Also tech advances.
Railroad expansion.

Are you crying?

Um, have a great rest
of your day, everyone.

Hey, Mr. C. That's cool
you started a club for RJ.

Well, thank you, Andrew.

But I want a club for me.

Yeah. RJ's not the only
one with problems at home.

I want a club, too.

Okay. That's
alarming, but fair.

Um, well, w-what are
you interested in?

Gardening, hopefully.

I don't know. You tell me.

Isn't that, like, your job
to figure out what I like?

No. My job is to
teach history.

That's your whole job?

I will see what I can do.

Then get on it.

Chop chop, bitch.

What did I say about
calling me bitch?

Alright.

District bingo, anyone?

- Yes.
- The boxes contain

district platitudes
and Abbott certainties.

Oh.

"We'll do our best
to accommodate."

Yeah, you really nailed
that district B.S.

Just reading it makes me want to
slap the hell out of somebody.

Oh. "Melissa
threatens violence."

Hey. I've got that.

I got one. Yeah.

Ohh! Hey, yo!

Watch it, Stick Stickly!

What are you looking
at, SpongeBob?

- Ohh!
- Hey. Hey!

He was teacher of the year.

Not last year, but,
like, a couple years ago.

Yeah. Can
it, Tommy Pickles!

Oh, my
God! - Okay.

Why does she watch
so much Nickelodeon?

Oof. It is tense in here.

Uh-oh! The Big Teaguesssss!

Hey, Manny.

It's Gregory Eddie!

I hear you two are an item now.

I love that. You
have my blessing.

Ohh.

Jacob Hill! Come on, man!

Mrs. Howard.

Ms. Schemmenti. Oh, this
is gonna take forever.

Um, I'm gonna go get a
smoothie from next door.

Okay. Can you get me an "Apple
A Day Keeps The Doctor Away"?

Oh, and get me one of
the strawberry ones

with the coco puffs.

Cacao nibs. Right.

Yeah.

Crystal Ruh-Ruh-Ruh-Riley!

Ohh!

Oh! well, well, well!
Look who's here!

Well. Hey, soror.

You sound surprised for
someone who just texted me,

"See you soon, soror,"
but, okay. Hey, girl.

Mwah! Mwah!

Enough with the pleasantries.

I am clocked in at
the locked-in factory,

and I'm about to take all
of the district's money

for Liberty Rings.

Well, how will you get anything

when I'm gonna get it
all for Abbott?

Make it make sense.

Honestly, truly,

I am rooting for you.

I sincerely hope
there's something left

for dusty old
Abbott after I go...

seventh.

That's right.

That's right. We
got the best spot.

Lucky number seven,

the one right before
the 15-minute break.

They always throw someone
a bone in that spot...

so that people will come back
with a little bit of hope.

Well, I don't need hope

because I'm locked in
at the clock factory.

And guess what.
There's no key.

Attention. What?

The meeting is
starting in one minute.

Oh! Alright. Let's go.

Oh,
oh, oh, oh. Hold on.

I got a voice note from Gregory.

Might be a smoothie emergency.

Because you know what? I'm
not allergic to apple. Bye.

But I've kind of got this
thing where my tongue...

Hey, so, the smoothie
you ordered has a different name.

What was in it
again? You know what?

Never mind. I'll just,
uh... I'll surprise you.

I gotta go. I'm up. Okay.

I love you...

Did he just tell me he loves
me for the first time?!

In a voice note?

So if you could please consider
our request for windows.

I miss the sunlight, and
the children do, too.

We'll have
to examine that.

- Avaaa Coleee...
- stop.

I heard Liberty Rings
got the seventh spot

even though I volunteered
to do that Ed Talk,

not out of the
kindness of my heart.

Look, the district really
appreciated that talk,

and we know that
it's been a while

since Abbott's walked out with
anything at these meetings,

so, between you and
me, the superintendent

set aside a nice chunk
of money for you.

You could sleepwalk up there
and wake up with a bag.

...possibly
get some textbooks

that make it past
the Civil Rights Era.

I feel like it might
help with some of

the racial tension
in the school.

We'll take a look at that.

Ha! "We'll take a
look at that." Got it.

Are you cheating?

How am I cheating?
You made these.

You know, people say you
can't be good at bingo.

Tell that to my cards.

What are you smiling about?

Well...

Hm...

Ohh! Hello.

Hi. Oh, my God. What, this?

Call me Scrappy-Doo 'cause
I got a mystery on my hands.

Do you mind listening
to this voice note

that Gregory left me while
he was getting smoothies

and tell me what you
think he says at the end?

Okay. Gotta go. I'm up.

Okay. I love you...

Sounds to me like he
said, "I love food."

Mm-hmm.

Sure. Yeah. For sure.

Um, it just... I thought

it sounded like he
said, "I love you,"

but that'd be weird to
say for the first time

in a voice note, right?

Yeah, that would
definitely be weird.

Although, that young man

notoriously does not love food.

No, he doesn't.

Mnh-mnh. Right?

Maybe he said, "I love boots."

What kind of footwear
does he sport?

Um, I'm trying to think,
but I-I honestly can't

remember anything about
him below the knees.

Ooh! That reminds me! What?

Oh-oh-oh! What?

"Janine needs help
with something silly."

Ha! I got the
corners, baby! Yes!

Right. If we could
focus on this.

I just want to know
what you think.

- Oh. Hello, ladies. You
don't know me. - Hi.

But would you mind weighing
in on a voice note?

Of course, we don't need sporks,

but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Or I guess it does.

"Principal cries."

Yeah, people are really
starting to lose it.

And I'm not gonna lie...

it feels good to not
have to worry this year.

I know. I can't
believe Manny told Ava

that they set aside
money for us. I know.

You know, I was actually
thinking about asking Ava

if we could request
money for more clubs.

What do we need more clubs for?

You and Gregory got big plans

to help two to
six more students?

Actually, yesterday,
some of the kids,

they were asking me
if I could help them

find something they're
passionate about,

you know, kind of
like I did with RJ.

Okay. So who's gonna run
all these clubs? You?

That's like another
full-time job

on top of your
already full-time job.

It's like an overtime job.

It's too many jobs! Yeah, I...

Please! We must have
absolute silence

and be respectful
to the people here.

Request denied.

Next up, looks like we have

Liberty Rings Elementary.

Excuse me.

Hm. Ah.

Watch and learn, soror.

Good luck, babe!

You know, I always thought
he would tell me he loved me,

like, using a
plant or something.

But using his words?
H-He's such a wild card.

Did you happen to catch anyone
saying "low-hanging fruit"?

It's a critical
square.

- No.
- Okay.

So, apparently they
changed all the names

for Valentine's Day, so
hopefully I got this right. Okay.

Here is your "Apple
Of My Eye." Thank you.

Here is your strawberry
and cacao nib

"I Love You" with extra
love, a.k.a. nibs.

Um, aren't those festive names!

More like confusing. Took
me a second to realize

"Be Still My Beeting
Heart" was my go-to.

Ironically the opposite of
what beets do for the heart.

Yeah. No. Super confusing.

Yeah.

Oh. Hey. You're full-time now?

For almost a year.
We were just venting

about how terrible
the district is. Yeah.

Seems like nobody
gets what they want.

Seriously. Five years ago,
our school's roof caved in.

Instead of fixing it,
they had a counselor

come in once a week to deal with

the emotional burden
of not having a roof.

Apparently, they were like, "I
know you feel a dank draft, kid,

but how does that dank
draft make you feel?"

Uh, dank! The hell?!

Yeah. Wow. That's...
That's interesting.

Wait. So the counselor
came once a week?

Our school turned
into a drop-top.

That's what you're focused on?

No. Yeah. That is...
Pfft. That is wild.

District sucks!

Sorry.

So, with that, I ask the board

to grant us these
basic necessities.

And to quote Amanda Gorman,

"For there is always light

if only we're brave
enough to see it...

if only we are brave
enough to be it."

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, wasn't that lovely?

- That was good.
- Corny ass.

Hm. That was an
impressive presentation.

But... highly unlikely.

We'll circle back.

Let's reconvene in 15 minutes.

Oof. Wow.

"Highly unlikely"
and"we'll circle back."

That's a double whammy. Yeah.

And also double
squares. I'm one away.

One away! - You got one?
- Yeah, I got one.

Hey. So, about that
counselor that you mentioned.

Oh, my G... You know, you
Abbott people are weird.

All the teachers talk about it.

Right. Right. Well...
Unh!

Anyways, um, can you tell me
more about, like, how it works?

She comes once a
week, which is nowhere

near enough to get
anything real done.

The line is always out the door.

And the district would
never pay for more days.

Yeah. That's, um...

Awesome! Good talk!

Liberty
Rings got smoked!

I'm gonna go kick
Crystal while she's down.

I'm really
sorry, but it's okay.

We will get them next year.

That's what we've been saying
for the last three years.

I know. I'm trying to stay
positive. They are up there

hoarding resources

while our kids
are sharing books,

taking turns doing the homework.

I don't know how I'm gonna
go back into the school

and tell everybody I didn't
get anything for the kids.

I just... I really thought
we had it this time.

If it helps, you know, no
one really got anything.

Watch out for the
Ava-lanche rolling through,

getting resources,
knocking down houses.

Come on!

Hm. You know what I love?

I don't use this word often.

I love when they add
just a pinch of salt

to balance out the flavors.

God. I just love
that. You love that.

That's great.
That's good stuff!

There you are! Hey.

What do you think about
asking Ava for a counselor?

Oh. Is this instead
of your request

for a Pan-African flag?

Well, in an ideal world,
we would get both,

but, yes, yes.

I really think a counselor,
like, 2 or 3 times a week,

you know, giving
individualized attention,

it could change the trajectory
of some of our students' lives.

I mean, don't you think
that's worth pursuing?

I mean, I could use some
support with the Goofballs.

I know they look up to me, but I
don't have all the answers they need.

The world is so different
from when I was a kid.

Yeah. The older girls
who come talk to me,

they got some real stuff
they're dealing with,

and I don't know what half
the words they're saying mean.

Gyatt?

See? Melissa gyatts it.

No. Just... No.

Yeah, but a counselor
that many times a week

would be almost as expensive
as our entire list,

so Ava's not gonna go for that.

- Yeah. No. She'd kill
you. - Yeah.

Maybe we'll get lucky next year.

Guys, guys, so much
can happen in a year.

Haven't you seen "Rent"? Okay?
We can't sit on our hands.

This... This is our year.

I'm sorry, man, but I
just don't know what else

we could do at this point.

Well, on the bright
side, we can all mark off

"Jacob gives an
impassioned speech."

Oh, yeah. Nice. Okay.

I already marked mine when
I was still set on the flag

and I was explaining what the colors
black, green, and red represent.

- Was it to a Black person?
- Yes.

Barb, you should have put
"Jacob explains an element

of Black culture" on here.

Maybe next time.

Hey. Ava.

Jacob, not now.

No. Totally. But, um...

Oh, hey, actually,
do you think, um,

I could give the
presentation for you?

I would love some face
time with the district.

And, uh, it's in the bag,
right? So what's the harm?

Before we hear from
the next school,

a reminder...
get to the point.

Less pomp, no circumstance.

Okay?

Yeah. Go ahead.

Wait. Really? Yeah.

They said we could sleepwalk
up there and get the money,

so march your
squirrel ass up there

and go get our nut.

Okay.

It doesn't even matter
what you say up there

or what you need or
how much you prepare.

Just how much the district
decides they like you that year.

Next up, Abbott Elementary.

Hello. distinguished
school-board members.

My name is Jacob Hill,

and I am a teacher
at Abbott Elementary.

Um...

I'm gonna cut to the point.

We don't need currently

some of the material things

that the other schools
are asking for today.

The students at our school
are each facing issues

outside of the classroom,

and these things are impacting
their lives in school.

Now, we do our best,
but as teachers,

we just don't have the
bandwidth to give them

the one-on-one attention
that they need.

So I am asking for Abbott

to get a counselor
three days a week.

That is a very big ask.

It would be our entire request.

Oh.

Then it's granted.

Oh, no. Ava's gonna kill him.

I can't look. I can't look.

Ohh. You have
love for the boy.

I have love for the
rent he pays me, Barb.

A counselor? I
love that for you,

But you're leaving, like,
25 grand on the table.

...and your
generosity. Yeah.

I guess I didn't even
really need these cards.

Um, wow. And you
all look fantastic.

So, again, just
thank you. Yeah.

Why?!

Um...

Actually, Abbott
has another request.

Proceed. We would
also like to ask

for computers,
new history books,

and we could use some
discretionary funds.

Approved. Can we move on now?

Of course. But one more thing.

Oh, my God! Sit down!

I'm gonna need for those things

to be divided between
the three Title I schools

that came before
us and were denied.

Oh. My bad.

And now I'm done. Thank you.

Fine. We'll divide it
amongst the schools.

Which we would have
done eventually.

You were just
putting a pin in it.

I knew y'all would circle back

after you ran it
up the flagpole.

KPI.

Yeah! Whoo!

I
should have known

you'd pull out some theatrics.

Well, the spotlight finds me.
I don't go looking for it.

But thank you. For
what you did in there.

Of course.

But when you kill
it as hard as I do,

it's easy to share the wealth.

I just want others to experience

what I experience
on a daily basis.

Well, I appreciate it. Hm.

Although, I did find
it so interesting

what your teacher said

about Abbott already
having material things.

Bye, girl.

Mwah!

That was incredible.

Jacob, you lied to me.
Interesting choice.

You know, ever since I did
a nice thing 10 minutes ago,

I've been looking for a
new person to destroy,

to restore order.

Ava, none of that
was on my bingo card.

This has a whiff of a long con

of which we do not yet
know the ramifications.

Why do y'all act like I can't do
something nice every once in a while?

I've told you since the
beginning, I had this covered.

Abbott Elemen!

So, hey. That was
awesome in there.

Very cool, very rad.

But the school board
is super pissed.

Like, I've never seen
them this mad before.

So I would mind your P's
and Q's going forward

because they're about
to be on yo' ass.

Hey.

The school boarrrrd.

Pretty
cool move by Ava.

Mm-hmm. I kind of loved it.

Ohh! Gah! What don't
you love, Gregory?

Okay. What's going on?

Am I missing something?

I'll surprise
you. I gotta go. I'm up.

Okay. I love you...

I see.

I know you were just
ordering a special smoothie,

but I kind of...

I thought that you said
you loved me, so...

'Cause I did. It's just a
loaded drink name, but...

Wait. What?

Yeah, I wasn't ordering
when I said that.

I said, "I love you," to you.

Must have just slipped out.

Oh.

But it was an accident.

Yeah...

but it slipped out

because that's how I feel.

I think it all the time.

I was gonna say it
tonight over dinner,

but apparently I couldn't wait.

Because I love you.

Sick, sick, sick!

I love you, too.

Do you want to go to
Bone Town? Hell yeah.

Welcome back.
Let's get settled.

Next up on the agenda,
public comment.

First up, we have...

I can't make out the first name,

but the last name is Johnson.

Greetings, board.

Sister Sloss. Looking good.

I'd like to file a motion

that the district give
me $50 and a sandwich.

- Yes! Bingo!
- Oh, come on!

"Mr. Johnson says
some Mr. Nonsense!"

Damn it! You gotta
be kidding me!

How am I bad at bingo?

Request denied. Okay, then.

Just give me the $50,
and I'll starve to death.

...Captions by VITAC...