All language subtitles for The.Five.Pennies.1959.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Will lead you to my blue heaven

You'll see a smiling face, a fireplace

a cozy room

A little nest that's nestled where

the roses bloom

Just Molly and me

and my baby makes three

We're happy in my

blue heaven

That's pretty lousy.

Maybe it'll sound better tonight
with colored lights.

We got a visitor from the outside world
where they shave.

- Who let you in?
- I let myself in.

I'm Red Nichols from Ogden, Utah.
I'm your new cornet player, remember?

You're late.

Well, I'm sorry about that, but
I've never been in New York before...

and I got a little mixed up
with the subways. The....

Did you know the BMT comes up here,
and the IRT doesn't?

And neither does
the Chesapeake & Ohio.

You're the first to complain about it.

Get your chair.

You a sight man?

I can read anything that's written.

Okay, you crooks, go ahead and laugh.
I found this kid in the desert...

and he can blow rings around any
of you, and he works at half the price.

Sweetest music you ever heard.

I got a guy in a boiler factory in Joplin,
warming up for your job, Dorsey.

Don't buy anything on time.

Okay, let's try it again.

Can I just play a few notes here
so I won't hit a clam?

Help yourself.

Are you ready, maestro? From the top.

That means from here.
Don't take the IRT.

You...

- where's that town you're from?
- Ogden, Utah. Why?

Well, don't play that horn
so the folks back home can hear you.

You got a mute?

- Yeah.
- Well, use it. Use it all the time.

All right, the only thing is, Mr. Paradise,
I play New Orleans style.

You know, it's the newest thing.
As a matter of fact...

I've got an arrangement in here
of the very number you're doing--

Put that thing away. Sit down.

Can't you take a little friendly advice?

Put that horn
in your big mouth and blow.

Welcome to paradise.

That's all right.
Pretty soon, you'll all be working for me.

Come on.
Look, will you make up your mind?

The girls are waiting.

Look, I appreciate it, Tony.
Don't get me wrong.

- Who is this guy?
- He works in a band.

There's a new trumpet player
up in Harlem.

He just came from New Orleans.
The boys told me he was just great.

They're going up to listen to him tonight.
I thought--

They go up every night.
You can catch him anytime.

Well, frankly, Tony,
I'd like to steer clear of chorus girls.

My mother gave me a note
to a lady in Brooklyn...

- and this lady's got a daughter.
- Naturally.

- What?
- Naturally.

Brooklyn is
solid mothers and daughters.

Every auto horn
plays Mendelssohn's Wedding March...

and Mendelssohn's driving the car.

You're quite a character. I haven't even
met the girl in Brooklyn yet.

- You've got me married to her.
- Well, you see how easy it is?

Now, these Broadway frails,
it's a different league.

There's no home games.

Tony, why are you doing all this for me?

You're an awfully nice fellow,
but you hardly know me, really.

I take in strays.
I don't like anybody should be lonely.

- I'm not lonely--
- I got a heart as big as all outdoors.

How much money you say
you got on you?

$20, Tony, but that's room rent.

Red, will you forget about the room?

We may never have to
get out of the car.

Look, I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll
drive up to Harlem, catch the bugle...

and from then on in,
we play by ear, all right?

All right.

- You ready, girls? Come on. Lets go.
- Tony, I don't think so.

- Let's go.
- Honestly, where's this guy come from?

What difference does it make?
He's from Ogden, Utah.

Utah? Is that in the Union?

Well, you wanted me to get you a date,
didn't you?

- Must be Aaron Slick from Punkin.
- You be quiet.

- It's her date, not yours.
- Well, she's a friend of mine.

Oh, Tony, why should I go out
with some farm boy from Utah?

He's a nice guy.

- I guess I'm stuck.
- All right, wait here. I'll be right back.

It's all set.
She's dying to go out with you.

Yeah.

I don't know how you do it, boy.
From this distance, too.

Must be the smell of the silo.

What did you say his name is?
Huckleberry Finn?

You can't leave him standing there now.
You've got a date with him.

Red, this is my girl Tommye Eden.
She's a dancer.

- And this is Bobbie Meredith. She sings.
- How doody, ma'am.

How do you do?
I've got to be home early.

That's all right, ma'am.
Just don't pay it no never mind.

You'll get home
just as early as you please.

Oh, brother.... I bet the cows
back in Ogden just loved you.

Well, ma'am, I didn't shake their hands.

That were a zinger, weren't it, ma'am?

Now, we better get in the car. Come on.

Boy, before the night's over
I may poison him.

I'll toss you for it.

Say, plowboy,
are you sure you ever danced before?

Oh, yes, ma'am, lots of times.

With girls?

Well, when I couldn't get nothing better.

Oh, now, look. Look.

I know this may seem like
some weird tribal rite or something...

but this is how the dance
is usually done.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

I think I've got it now.

- Why, you....
- Yes, ma'am.

- Set it right here, baby.
- Thank you, Tony.

I should have warned you, Bobbie.
This kid is hip.

Thanks.

We didn't order any tea.
Did you order....

- Oh, maybe the girls ordered some tea.
- Red. Red.

This is tea
like my mother used to make...

for Sunday afternoon with the Mafia.
Ninety proof.

It's in teacups in case of a raid.

Don't you think I know that?

No. You ever been in
a speakeasy before?

Oh, come on.
I've been in dozens of them.

Here's mud in your eye.

Yeah.

We got a real live one here.
Have some more tea, plowboy.

It just.... "Plowboy"?

I'll show you "plowboy."
Well, here's some more mud.

Wood alcohol. I've gone blind!

Oh, Red. They just turned out the lights.
That's all.

I was only kidding.
Don't you think I know that?

No.

- Red, how about that bugle?
- Like the music?

Next to my father, that's the greatest
trumpet I ever heard in my whole life.

We'll let you drink to that.

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey

Won't you come home?

I'm feeling all alone

I'll do the cooking, darling

I'll pay the rent

I know I've done you wrong

Remember that rainy eve
That I drove you out

With nothing but a fine-tooth comb?

I know I'm to blame

Well, ain't that a shame

Bill Bailey,
won't you please come home

Yes, won't you come home, Bill Bailey

Won't you come home

I'm feeling all alone

Here you go, Red.

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey

Won't you come home

I'm gonna love you long

It's all right, Mac.

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey
Won't you come home, Bill Bailey

With nothing but a fine-tooth comb

I know I'm to blame

Ain't that a shame

Bill Bailey,
won't you please come home

Oh, he's changing weapons.
Where's my horn?

Red. Red, don't start that.
They'll blow you right out of the room.

One.... One more chorus, boys, huh?
One.... One.... One....

Would you play
one more chorus, please?

What can I do for you?

Well, I.... I'd like to show you
how to really play this thing.

You look a little shaky there, son.
You better sit this one out.

We'll get to the volunteers later.

Yeah, well, I....
You don't believe I can play this, huh?

Well, I'd like to inform you
about one information of piece of fact...

that I happen to be
the second-greatest cornet player...

- in Ogden, Utah.
- North Ogden or South Ogden?

You don't think that's much, do you?
Well, my father happens to live there...

and he's the greatest cornet player
in the whole world. Ask anybody.

If he ain't Gabriel,
you're in trouble. Play it.

- Where's the arrangement?
- Arrangement?

Man, nobody write down Dixieland.
You just let it happen.

Well, suppose it happens great one....
Suppose it happens great one time...

and you'd like it to happen exactly
the same way. What do you do then?

Just like tapping a nightingale
on the shoulder, saying:

"How's that again, Dicky-bird?"

Well, I write it down.

I've been writing it down
since I was 13 years old.

Here, I've got it right here.
Here's the drum part right there.

Would you just hold this here
right there? Thank you very much.

The.... That's right there.
The.... Right there.

The Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Maybe you better come back Sunday.

This prayer meeting ain't ready
for that kind of music.

Just try to stay with me, huh, boys?

Don't look back,
or you'll be trampled to death.

I'm gonna be very sick.

Excuse it, folks.

Somebody must have put alcohol
in our liquor.

- Feel better?
- Where's my horn?

You feel better.

I wouldn't want anything to happen
to this horn.

There's not another one like it
in the entire world...

and my father gave this to me.

You know that tea we had before...

that's the first drink of liquor
I ever had...

in my whole entire life
ever since I was born.

I wish I hadn't been....

I'd never have guessed it, Red.

While we're on the subject
of confession, I may as well tell you...

that nobody in Ogden calls me Red,
except me.

My name is Loring.

I couldn't help it.
Actually, it's Ernest Loring Nichols.

Now, you're ashamed
of all the wrong things.

You know what my real name is?

- Willa.
- What?

Willa. Willa Steutesman.

- Willa what?
- Steutesman.

Willa Steutesman? Oh, you're kidding.

Willa?

- Hi, Willa.
- Hi, Loring.

Now you just take it easy,
and I'll get your hat, and then....

And you can take me home.
Let's not wait for Tony.

You mean you want just me alone...

to take you home all by myself
with nobody else but just me?

And remember...

it doesn't really matter that...

you'll never be
the greatest cornet player in the world.

Doesn't really matter?

- You don't believe me, either.
- Oh, please. Now just wait here, Loring.

Just call me Red.

Glory, glory

hallelujah

Oh, yes

Gloried man

Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes

Oh, yes, oh, yes

Yeah!

Yeah, get that boy's license number.
He caught the nightingale.

- More! More!
- More! More!

And when I was 5 years old,
I was playing Carnival in Venice...

at church festivals.

Have you ever been
at a church festival in Ogden, Utah?

I don't think so.

Well, you don't know
what you've missed.

"And now, Professor E. W. Nichols...

"and the entire
Nichols family orchestra...

"featuring Master Loring Nichols,
aged five...

"will play
The Carnival in Venice on the silver"....

You know, it was real silver, too.

My father's still got it,
as a matter of fact.

Let me finish, honey.

How much longer is the cab ride?

- Oh, it's a long way to Brooklyn.
- Good.

You live in Brooklyn?

And it's so late. I know
I'm gonna catch it from my mother.

You have a mother?

Well, sure.
It happens, even to showgirls.

Brooklyn and mother.

- Did you just hear what I heard?
- What?

Never mind. You will.

You had to go to Brooklyn, huh?
You went to Brooklyn.

I told you....

What's going on here?

Meet the blushing bride, my friend.

- Willa and I just got married.
- Who's Willa?

- Me, Bobbie.
- Good luck.

Thanks. Say, I wanna know
if we could...

have a little time off for the honeymoon?

- Just, you know--
- You get five-minute breaks, don't you?

That's two choruses and a reprise.

- Get out 43, 56, and 42.
- Real sweet fellow, isn't he?

- Keep your mind on the music, will you?
- Yeah, I'll do that. Don't worry about it.

By the way,
you didn't get a chance to look over...

those arrangements
I did for you, did you?

- If you want them, they're in the ashcan.
- What?

You trying to put me out of business
with that broken-down Dixieland?

- What are you talking about? It's--
- I gave your tone-deaf canary a job.

What else do you want?

- Now wait a minute--
- Now sit down, shut up, and blow.

High-ho, one and all...

and a very fond welcome
to the sweetest music ever played.

We're a little misty-eyed tonight.
For our own Loring "Red" Nichols...

the finest cornet in the country,
has taken to himself a bride...

none other than the new addition
to our happy family...

our society chanteuse,
the lovely Miss Bobbie Meredith.

For our loving couple, we dedicate
our theme with all of our blessings.

If you will hold my hand

Misty-eyed, huh?
I'll show him misty-eyed.

Loring, don't do anything crazy.
We need him more than he needs us.

With eyes afire

I'll know your desire

Then a heavenly kiss

I won't resist

For you will dim the lights

Then I will hold you tight

I'll take you

to paradise

Hello.

Did you apologize to him
like I asked you to?

Well, I had a little talk with him
after the show.

- Well?
- Well...

you wouldn't want me to stay in
the band if I weren't happy, would you?

I mean, can you imagine
another couple of months...

of, "Good evening, one and all.

"I'm a little misty-eyed tonight,
oh, misty-eyed"--

- Oh, Loring, you didn't even try.
- Yes, I did try, baby. I tried my best...

but he wouldn't listen to reason,
so I hit him in the eye and quit.

- Oh, but, Loring, we just got married.
- I know.

Oh, well. At least I still have a job.

I better tell you now, honey.
I hit him for both of us.

You what?

- Oh, Loring.
- I couldn't have my wife...

working for a guy like that. Now look.

Honey, will you stop worrying.
Pretty soon he'll be working for me.

I don't even know you.
You're a stranger.

No, I'm not.

My mother was right.
She said you were unstable.

- You do crazy things all the time.
- No. No. Please, no.

No, I don't, honey.
Why don't we talk about that tomorrow?

- After all, this is our wedding night.
- It was all a mistake, a horrible mistake.

Bobbie, will you--

Bobbie, listen. What kind of
a bridal suite is this anyway?

- The doors lock.
- You can sleep in there on the couch.

We'll both get a night's rest.

I don't want a night's rest.

Hello.

Now, here are your pajamas
and your toothbrush.

Bobbie, listen. I'll do anything you say.
I'll go back and beg Wil for the job.

I'll play so softly
nobody will know I'm there. Please.

No. No, you won't, Loring.

Do you know why you quit Wil's band?
He didn't like your arrangements.

- Now, isn't that true?
- Hello. Well, what if it is?

Bobbie, listen. I....

If you don't even think of me
on our wedding night...

what chance have I got
on our anniversary?

- Hello?
- I forgot to give you the toothpaste.

Well, squeeze it under the door.

Bobbie.... Willa.

- Oh, Loring.
- I'm sorry.

I'll apologize to the toothpaste.
I'll apologize to anybody.

Go on.

- Loring?
- What?

- Good night.
- Good night.

Sleep tight.

Loring,
I've never slept in a bridal suite before.

Well, let me know what it's like.

How much did this suite cost you
for the night?

- Will you stop that?
- Yes, but I want to know.

$50, but it's all right.
We're using both rooms.

$50? What a crazy thing to do.

Well, I wanted you to have the best.

After all, a wedding night is something...

you wanna remember
for the rest of your life.

I'll remember this one after I'm dead.

- Well, where did you get the money?
- What difference does it make?

But the money....

I hocked my horn after I got fired.

You what?

There's an all-night hock shop
open on Sixth Avenue.

It's a public necessity,
like the fire department.

Oh, Loring.

That's not so terrible.
All the fellows do it when they run short.

But you once told me that there wasn't
another horn like it in the whole world...

- and you wouldn't let it go for anything.
- Well, I'm crazy. Ask your mother.

It's a lovely suite.

Here. Have an apple.

The manager sent it up. Free.

Thanks.

You know,
you're gonna make a terrible husband.

I'll never know from one minute
to the next what you're gonna do.

That's all right. Neither will I.

Isn't it wonderful to be rich?

The Clicquot Club Eskimos
are on the air...

with a dogsled full of beverages
for your local grocer.

And to start the show off tonight...

here's that sensational hit...

Back home in Indiana.

Back home again

in Indiana

In the fields I used to roam

When I dream
About the moonlight on the Wabash

Then I long for my Indiana home

The Sunflow pineapple company
presents...

the authentic Hawaiian music...

of Sam Weiskopf
and his romantic islanders.

Indiana Home

Presenting to you...

the Samovar Tea Cossacks.

The Canada Dry Mounties
are on the air.

Back home again

in Indiana

In the fields of new mown hay

Help!

They warned me against this guy,
Nichols. He'll never work again.

What about the horse?

Murray, bring me
a cup of coffee and some cheesecake.

Remember, no more credit.

Your husband promised to pay the bill
when he got another job.

Salami could be out of style by then.

- Hey, Bobbie, come on over and join us.
- All right.

You know all the boys?

Jimmy Dorsey, Glenn Miller,
Artie Shaw, and Dave Tough.

- Hello.
- Hi. Please sit down.

Oh, I'm beat.
I've been job hunting all day.

Nobody seems to be hiring
society chanteuses.

You picked a great day for it.

You know, I tried calling Red
at the hotel the other day.

You're not registered.

Well, we've been living with my mother.
She loves him.

Incidentally, Bobbie, would you give
these arrangements back to Red?

He wanted us to
cut some sides with him.

But he was a little vague
about the salary.

He didn't even mention it.

- I think he's gonna float a bond issue.
- Or toss us for it.

Me, I can't stand cheesecake.
Lays on my stomach like a lump. Enjoy.

Red hasn't decided
where he was gonna record, either.

Well, I think it was a tossup between
the Yankee Stadium and Carnegie Hall.

Any of you bother
to look at his arrangements?

Honey, come on. It's that Dixieland.

You can't see the notes...

- through the tall cotton.
- The tall corn.

Let me tell you stupid idiots something.

If Loring says that he's gonna play
in Carnegie Hall, don't bet against it.

And if he has a new idea about music,
he'll bring it off...

while the rest of you sit around
in your rented tuxedos...

- blowing syrup out of your horns.
- Bobbie, we were just--

- Oh, be quiet! My name's Willa.
- I thought it was Bobbie.

You ought to be flattered he asked you
to play, because he only wants the best.

And so do I. That's why I married him
instead of you or you or you.

- I'm married.
- Keep quiet!

- Where's my check?
- I'll take it.

No, you won't.

- Put it on the bill.
- Let him take it.

- You didn't eat your cheesecake.
- No, I can't. I don't feel well.

I told you, it lays on your stomach.

I'm a little dizzy.
Where can I get some cold water?

Back here. Ladies' lounge.
You feel all right, Bobbie?

Listen, please,
don't say anything to Loring, huh?

I wouldn't want to worry him.

Sure, let him be the only one
who ain't worried.

- Glenn, what's with her?
- You've been living on the moon?

- I'll bet you she's in her second month.
- No, it's her first.

- I didn't know that.
- You guys are all wrong.

$5 says it's the third.

- I'll take the fourth.
- This is becoming interesting now.

- Covered.
- Wanna get in?

No, not me.
There aren't any good months left.

- I got change.
- That poor kid.

Living with her mother, too.

Living with Red. That's worse.

Fellows, here. Take a look at this.

Hi, Murray.

Could you get me a half corned beef
sandwich on a seeded roll?

And trim all the fat off this time,
will you?

Why don't you eat
your wife's cheesecake?

Why don't you get some new pickles?

That's not bad. It's kind of like--

No, it's not bad. It's fine. It's....
The notes are all great, boys...

- but the tempo is just deadly.
- It's the first time.

I know it's the first time
but it's still too beat, you know?

You gotta move it.

Sure, here. Do it.
Let me do it with you once.

Next week, Carnegie Hall.

Everybody, grab a partner
And just let yourself go

Follow that leader
Just follow that Joe

He can teach you
He can reach you

Like nobody else can

Follow that leader
Just follow that man

If you do what he do
What he do, what he do, what he does

You'll be really dancing
Come on and take a chance in

Razzmatazz
Jazz

Butcher, baker, candlestick maker
Are all joining the clan

So, pleedge, colleege, or flappa
Or Phi Beta Kappa

Just follow that, follow that
Follow that leader

Follow that, follow that
Follow that leader

man

He better take it easy with her,
or you'll lose the pool.

- I don't think she's told him, yet.
- She hasn't told him yet?

Everybody, follow the leader

Everybody, follow the leader

Everybody, follow the leader man

Easy! She's out of her mind.

Everybody, Peabody!

Change partners, and Charleston!

Everybody, change partners!

You know something?

You know you're the prettiest girl
at this prom?

- Me?
- Yeah.

I'm an old married lady.

Never. Never happened.

We've got it beat, honey.
What do they call it?

Companionate marriage, huh?
Carefree, gay, legal.

- It's been wonderful.
- And you know something?

If the band keeps going
the way it has been...

in a couple of years,
we can settle down...

stop traveling, and we can have
a real corny, old-fashioned family.

- You mean it?
- Absolutely.

We'll have
a little golden-haired corny girl.

And a corny little redheaded boy.

- Loring.
- What?

- I went to the doctor the other day.
- Yeah?

And he has a rabbit
that says I'm three months corny.

Oh, that's sweet because.... What?

Well, do you mind? I mean....

I mean, a rabbit knowing all about us
and everything?

No, I don't mind. Honey, I....

No, if it's got to be, it's great...

but should you be
dancing like this, baby?

Oh, I feel fine.

I know, but maybe you ought to
lie down. Slow down, honey.

No, I feel fine.

Maybe you ought to
take some mineral oil...

- or something, huh?
- No.

- How do we get you off the floor.
- Everybody, change partners!

I feel fine.

How can you feel fine
when I'm nauseous?

Look, I'll get you off the floor.

- We'll find a place for you to sit.
- No, Loring. Honestly, no.

Hey, look....

Play a waltz! Minuet! Stop the music!

Bobbie! Bobbie,
tell him about the rabbit!

Put her down!

Stop it!

Oh, Loring.

Oh, Loring, don't be silly.
I'm all right. Put me down.

- I've got to sing the next number.
- Well, you're fired, both of you.

Does she really look like me?

What are you crying about?
I'm the one who has to go back...

to the Canada Dry Mounties.

We've been waiting for you, Mr. Nichols.

How's my little baby?

- How are you?
- Did you see the baby?

Yes, but I still love you.

Everything is gonna be fine, honey.

I'm gonna find us a little apartment
in Brooklyn, and--

- In Brooklyn?
- Yeah.

- What for?
- To raise our daughter.

That's the best climate for daughters.

Yeah, but what about fathers?
You're supposed to open...

- in Pittsburgh on Friday.
- I know. I know.

Will you stop being concerned about it?

It's time I settled down.
I'm gonna open right here.

Red Nichols and his One Penny.

I got you something. It's kind of cute.

I caught him and had him stuffed.

That'll teach him
to shoot his big mouth off.

- No, Loring.
- What?

No, I'm not gonna let the baby
change our lives.

- The baby's not gonna change anything.
- You've wanted this for so long...

- and worked so hard for it.
- I know, sweetheart--

As soon as the baby's strong enough,
we'll join you on that bus.

You can't afford to
give up the band now.

You've got another mouth to feed.

- I thought you were gonna feed it.
- I am, and I'll be very happy doing it.

And I want you to do
what you'll be happy doing.

I'm happy doing what I'm doing.

Not barking
for the Clicquot Club Eskimos.

I know, but that isn't too bad, honey.
I was--

- Loring.
- What?

Deep down,
what do you really wanna do?

Have I told you how wonderful you are?

Not lately.

Loring. Loring, stop it!

How do you expect Dorothy to sleep
with that?

How do you expect
us to sleep with that?

Well, honey, it's a lullaby. I wrote it.
It's a lullaby called Lullaby in Ragtime.

I wrote it for the baby, too, didn't I?

I know it's a lullaby. You know
it's a lullaby. But the baby doesn't.

Stop making it sound like
The Anvil Chorus.

Fellows, you heard what the lady said,
didn't you?

Let's play it pianininimissimo
and andanterini.

In case any of you
have had any musical training...

you know what that means.

What does it mean?

Softly.

Won't you play the music
so the cradle can rock

to a lullaby in ragtime

Sleepy hands are creeping
to the end of the clock

play a lullaby in ragtime

You can tell the sandman is on his way

by the way
that they play

As still as the trill of a thrush

in a twilight hush

So you can hear
the rhythm of the ripples

on the side of the boat

as you sail away to dreamland

High above the moon
you hear a silvery note

as the sandman takes your hand

So rock-a-by, my baby
don't you cry, my baby

sleepy-time is nigh

Won't you rock me

to a ragtime lullaby

Won't you play the music

so the cradle can rock
Goodnight

to a lullaby in ragtime
time to call it a day

Sleepy hands are creeping

to the end of the clock
Sleep tight

play a lullaby in ragtime
dream your troubles away

You can tell the sandman is on his way
Goodnight

by the way that they play
in spite of any sorrow

as still as the trill of a thrush
There's a brand-new day

in a twilight hush
on its way tomorrow

So you can hear
the rhythm of the ripples

on the side of the boat
Someday

as you sail away to dreamland
all your dreams will come true

High above the moon

you hear a silvery note
Some way

as the sandman takes your hand
for me and you

So rock-a-by, my baby
So close

don't you cry, my baby
your eyes

sleepy time is nigh
and dream of it, my darling

Won't you rock me
Till then, goodnight

to a ragtime lullaby
goodnight, sleep tight

How do you like this?
With all this racket, now she's asleep.

Keep her that way, honey.

Good night, boys.

I blow it through here

And the music goes down and around

And it comes out here

- Here?
- No, there.

- Oh, there.
- Yes, dear.

I push the first valve down

- Up?
- No, down.

The music goes down and around

And it comes out here

Here?

Now, let's not
go through that again, honey.

I push the middle valve down

The music goes down and around

Below, below, below, didlio

Listen to the jazz come out

I push the other valve down

The music goes round and round

And it comes out here

- Where?
- Here.

- There?
- No--

- There?
- No, there.

- Oh, there.
- Yes, dear. That's it.

Very good. Let's take it from where the
kid comes in again. She was wonderful.

- Oh, hello, honey.
- Hi.

Hi.

What's this supposed to be,
a rehearsal?

Well, kind of a.... Well, yes.
It is a rehearsal because....

I got a great idea, honey, a great idea.
You know the early show?

Well, Dorothy and I....
It's a terrible idea. What do you think?

I think it'd be a great idea
if we got her off the road. Don't you?

Yeah, I.... It'd be a great idea.
Why didn't I think of that?

Well, you weren't in show business
very long, were you?

That's all right, honey.
You can be a bandleader.

Here. Have an all-girls band, all right?

Okay, new leader, boys. Here we go.

One, two!

Let's go home.

You fellows smoking old socks
or something?

There's so much smoke in here,
it looks like...

the San Francisco fire all over again.

Hey, Tony,
did you get that contract set already?

- Of course.
- Did you?

- Another solid 10 months on the road.
- 10 months?

- That's a lot of loot.
- Yeah, for him.

You know, I should have made you
my road manager a long time ago.

- You never could play the sax anyway.
- What do you mean?

He handles those bookers
like they were blondes.

One of them is.

We'll have to take on a couple of
side men. Make them feel...

- like they're getting their money's worth.
- That's easily done.

- Artie Shaw's available. So is Goodman.
- I'm out.

- I don't think I'm in, either, boys.
- Four aces.

- Are you kidding?
- Glenn Miller, boy card-genius.

If he makes any more money
playing cards...

he's gonna start a band of his own.

- Yeah, he's just the type, too.
- Let's fold up.

- Why don't we go down, catch Louis?
- Yeah, Louis.

- Spoken like a loser.
- Daddy, I can't sleep.

Dorothy, what are you doing up
at 2:00 in the morning?

Where's Mommy?

I told you. She's in Las Vegas
watching her friend get married.

Now go to bed, honey. If she knows
you're up at this hour, she'll shoot me.

- Come on, Red. Let's go.
- Louis's playing right down the block.

- Can't you break away?
- Mother would shoot him.

Dorothy, will you go to bed?
You're beginning to get on my nerves.

And put those cards down.
Now go on to bed.

Go on, honey.

- What do you say, a couple of hands?
- You murderer.

I'm sorry, baby.

Really, I'm sorry.

I know you're lonesome
for your mommy.

Come on. Aren't we pals?

Blood brothers?

Blood brothers of the Mohawk,
Blackfoot, Iroquois, Hiawatha tribe?

Alakazam kazam?

Whither thou goest, I goest.
Till death do us part.

I don't know.

Come on, honey,
why don't you go to bed?

I don't wanna go to sleep.

I didn't say anything about
going to sleep.

Why don't you just get into bed?
And then maybe you'll fall asleep better.

- I don't wanna go to bed.
- Honey, it's the middle of the night.

What do you wanna do,
go dancing all night or something?

Oh, fine.

Madam, may I have this dance, please?

No, I'm gonna lead, okay?

- You fooled me.
- No, I didn't. Come on. Come on.

Wait. Hold it. No wrestling, dear.

Come on. Now that we've got you here,
let's discuss this like grown-up...

- mature people, shall we?
- No.

Hey, remember me?

I'm the fellow
who wrote a whole song for you.

Which is more than Mozart ever did
for his kids.

This little penny is to wish on

And make your wishes come true

This little penny is to dream on

And dream of all you can do

This little penny is a dancing penny

See how it glitters and it glows

As bright as a whistle
Light as a thistle

Quick, quick as a wink
Up on its twinkling toes

This little penny is to laugh on

To see that tears never fall

This little penny
Is the last little penny

And most important of all

For this penny is to love on

And where love is, heaven is there

So with just five pennies

if they're these five pennies

You'll be a millionaire

Gonna go to sleep now?
All right, into bed. Come on.

- Attagirl. Night-night.
- Night-night.

I can play poker.

- I thought you were fast asleep.
- You hum too loud.

Dorothy, will you do me a favor, please,
blood brother, and go to bed?

- Mr. Miller taught me. Can't I play?
- No.

- Please.
- No.

Now, Dorothy, you go to bed
this minute. Do you hear?

- Please?
- No. Now go on to bed.

- Dorothy, are you crying again?
- No. Murderer.

One hand, but if I beat you,
will you go to sleep?

Oh, yes. If you win, I'll go right to bed.

Take a chair.

Draw poker, open on anything, okay?

- How much are we playing for?
- What?

Mr. Miller said
you should always find out first.

I see. Well, what are your usual stakes?

Peanuts.

- Okay?
- I won't even count them.

That's real big of you.

Thanks.

One, two, three, four, five.

How many?

- I'm out.
- Does that mean I win?

- Yeah.
- Oh, good. I didn't have anything.

That's called bluffing.

- Another hand?
- No.

- I'll let you win.
- No.

- Aren't you sleepy yet?
- No.

Look, Pittsburgh Phil,
it's a very nice night out...

and the moon is very bright.

What do you say we get dressed
and go out for a walk?

Oh, I'd love it.

Yeah, I'm sure you would.
Well, let's go put some clothes on.

- Will they let me in?
- Where?

Where Louis's playing.

- I won't tell mother.
- Are you sure?

Oh, good. Neither will I.
Here, let's get some--

- Daddy?
- What?

Are we blood brothers?

Whither thou goest.

Till death do us part.

It wouldn't dare.

Alakazam kazam kazam.

Let's get your clothes on.

Daddy!

Goodnight

time to call it a day

Sleep tight

dream your troubles away

Goodnight

in spite of any sorrow

There's a brand-new day

on its way tomorrow

Someday

all your dreams will come true

Some way

for me and you

So close your eyes

and dream of it, my darling

Till then, goodnight

goodnight

sleep tight

Now comes the hard part, baby.

Do you suppose you could sing
Five Pennies...

while Pops and I sing something else?

Sure, I can sing as good as he can.

Well, who can't?

Won't you play the music

so the cradle can rock
Goodnight

to a lullaby in ragtime
time to call it a day

Sleepy hands are creeping
Sleep tight

to the end of the clock

play a lullaby in ragtime
dream your troubles away

This little penny is a dancing penny

See how it glitters and it glows

As bright as a whistle
Light as a thistle

Quick, quick as a wink
Up on its twinkling toes

This little penny is to laugh on

To see that tears never fall

This little penny
Is the last little penny

And most important of all

For this penny is to love on

And where love is, heaven is there

So with just five pennies

if they're these five pennies

You'll be a millionaire

That was wonderful.

Come on, kitten. I better get you home,
or your mother will skin me alive.

I wanna hear Mr. Armstrong
sing some more.

- No, we gotta go.
- I don't know about you, honey...

but I gotta get my beauty sleep...

or I'm just a mess in the morning.

Please. Do The Saints Go Marching In...

- the way you and Daddy do it.
- Come on, baby. We gotta go home.

What do you put in that cat's milk?

- I didn't put nothing in her milk--
- Please. Just one chorus together.

- No.
- Maybe two?

- No. No. No.
- Then I'll go home, I'll go right to bed.

- No.
- I'll even go to sleep.

- No.
- I promise.

No.

- She looks like an honest cat to me.
- You on her side or something, Pops?

- Let's lay it on her, man.
- Well, all right. Just one chorus, miss.

Then we'll go home.
Don't tell your mother, huh?

Benny, you wanna give me a key
or something? Put me to work.

Oh, when the saints
When the saints

go marching in
go marching in

When the saints go marching in
Oh, yes

I wanna be in that number
Oh, in that number

When the saints go marching in

And when the saints
Oh, when the saints

go marching in
go marching in

Who's gonna play on the day
When the saints go marching in

Well, Louis, I'll explain that.

Now, the mostest and the greatest
From the oldest to the latest

Going to play in the band
In the great grandstand

When the saints go marching in

- Louis, what about Brahms
- He laid no bombs

- And Chopin
- Solid man

And Bach, that great old massa

Yeah, that great old massa
was a gasser

Yes, but Mozart the most with all he has

With the symphonies and operas
and all that jazz

When the saints go marching in

- Do you dig Rachmaninoff?
- On and off.

- Rimsky?
- Of course-ikoff.

- Ravel and Gustav Mahler.
- Yeah, but don't forget Fats Waller.

I wouldn't do that.

Liszt has a twist that you can't resist

Yeah. Yeah. Put Liszt on that list.

When the saints go marching in

Here we go, Louis.

When the saints
Oh, when the saints

go marching in

Look at this cat digging me.

When the saints go marching in

Face and all.

I wanna be in that number

When the saints go marching in

There's Saint-Saens
Saint-Saens c'est bon

And Georges Bizet
Très, très Bizet

Vieuxtemps, Suppe, Massenet
And Offenbach

- Do you dig him, Jacques?
- Very often.

Well, Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques

I dig you, Jacques, I dig you, Jacques
Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques

Massenet and Bizet
Massenet and Bizet

I dig you, Jacques, I dig you, Jacques

Offenbach, Offenbach

Massanet and Bizet
Massenet and Bizet

Often, Offenbach

How about Wagner?

- Devout!
- And Haydn?

- Who?
- Joseph Haydn.

- Who?
- Haydn!

Well, let him come out.

- Paganini.
- Rossini.

- Toscanini.
- Puccini.

- Khachaturian.
- Gesundheit.

Thank you.

- And what's his name?
- Mr. Veedle-de-zop

- And you know that cat
- Yes

Up too high

Or too low

- Way up there
- Oh, yeah

- Come on. Now we've gotta go.
- Don't leave, folks.

A little exit music from the greatest horn
in the country...

- I can't do it. Come on.
- ...Loring "Red" Nichols.

- Blow, Red, blow.
- Louis, I'd like to stay--

- Brand-new horn. Brand-new one, Pops.
- All right, here.

- Your chops is percolating.
- Yes, it's percolating, all right.

Come on, man.

Oh, when the saints go marching in

Oh, when the saints go marching in

I wanna be in that number

When the saints go marching in

And when the saints go marching in

When the saints go marching in

Home, sweet home.

You know this little monster
beat me out of 40 peanuts?

She cheats.

We've only got two choices...

either get Dorothy off the road
or teach her how to play the horn.

What did I do that was so terrible?

She had a ball.

I'll get her pajamas.

Then, after that, I'll get your pajamas.

Loring, what about what you said to me
the other day?

What did I say?

Some malarkey
about taking the band to New York...

and settling down.

You know me like a book, don't you?

Right to the card stamped, "overdue."

I heard about the new contract
you signed, extending the tour.

It's a real fat deal, honey.

We're gonna be eating high off the hog.

"Mammy won't have to go barefoot
no mo'."

What about Dorothy?

I know I may seem unreasonable...

but until she's at least 8 years old...

I don't want my daughter
singing in nightclubs.

She'd sure knock them dead.

Not with her spelling.
What about school?

We can get her a tutor.

No, Loring. No, I don't want her
with the band anymore.

Next week, they're liable to teach her
how to smoke.

Now, look, honey,
she loves being around the fellows...

and she's crazy about music.
What's wrong with that?

Who says she's gotta go to bed
when other kids go to bed...

and get up when they get up?

I say. I want her to get up when other
kids get up, at 7:30 in the morning...

have oatmeal and orange juice
and Shredded Wheat.

Honestly, she thinks breakfast
is black coffee and an aspirin.

Now, listen, Bobbie.
We're all on our way, all of us.

Tonight I sat up in the club...

and Louis Armstrong said
I was the greatest horn in the country.

Louis Armstrong, that's the mahatma
of jazz, the supreme court of cats.

Well, I'll tell you a little secret. I'm not
the greatest horn in the country. He is.

But in a little while, maybe I could be.

Then, we can pick our spot. We can get
the greatest hotel job in New York...

buy a house out on the Island...

and I'll stack it
with oatmeal and fruit juice...

and I'll even get you
a padded cell for PTA meetings.

When?

Soon.

Why not now?

Honey, I've got a contract.
I couldn't get out of it if I wanted to.

Do you want to?

No.

Well, then...

maybe Dorothy and I should get that
house and the oatmeal and wait for you.

What, and leave me alone on the road
for 10 months?

Bobbie, what's happened to you?

What happened to the girl who said
the baby...

wasn't gonna change anything?

What happened to the girl...

who wanted me
to be doing what I'd be happy doing?

You sure scared me for a minute.

For a minute there,
you looked exactly like your mother.

I'm sorry.
I guess I never really left Brooklyn.

- Loring, what's the answer?
- I don't know.

Look, couldn't we put Dorothy in
a boarding school for just a little while?

Boarding school?

Don't make it sound like a jail sentence.

It's not like
when David Copperfield went to school.

There are a lot
of wonderful schools around here...

right around here in San Francisco.

They've got playgrounds
and tennis courts...

and swimming pools and swings...

and a couple of teachers thrown in,
if you insist.

- I don't know.
- It'd only be for a term.

Two terms.

We could visit her every chance we got.

- Bring her a cake with a file in it?
- She'll love it. You'll see.

All right, Loring, on one condition.

- What?
- You tell her.

Yeah, all right.
I'll tell her first thing in the morning.

She'll understand.
We're blood brothers.

Alakazam kazam.

There's been
a terrible storm here in St. Louis...

and all the planes are grounded.

I'd like to fly out by myself,
but I can't flap my arms fast enough.

No, baby.
No, there's absolutely no way...

we could get out
in time for your birthday.

I'm sorry, honey.
You understand, don't you?

Hello? Hello?

...Blackhawk
in the heart of Chicago's Loop.

A merry Christmas
from the nation's number one band...

Red Nichols and the Five Pennies.

- A little more white meat?
- Yes, please.

You see, my parents always
have to work on Christmas.

That's why they can't come for me.

- May I have a piece of skin, please?
- We understand, Dorothy.

You don't have to explain.

They always call me
on the telephone though.

Are there any more potatoes,
Miss Wilson?

Oh, dear. I'll have to go back
to the kitchen and get some...

- and the plum pudding.
- I'll help you.

- Dorothy!
- Mommy!

Oh, baby.

- Don't worry.
- Yeah. Don't worry.

Barber shop. Who?

Just a minute.
Mr. Nichols, it's for you.

Hey, what....

- Don't shake your head.
- Long distance, California.

- Okay. Hello?
- What's the matter? You crazy--

Don't worry. Just lie down.

- Yeah, hello, Bobbie. How are you?
- You don't worry. I finish it.

- How do you like school?
- Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Was Dorothy surprised? Yeah.

What?

When? What happened?

Listen....
Yeah, I'll take the first plane out.

- Red, what's the matter?
- Your coat! Your coat!

You're about to enter
a contagious disease ward.

Please be as quiet as possible.
Keep your arms at your side.

Keep your distance
from the patients at all times.

Do not touch anything. Now, follow me.

If you drop anything, do not pick it up,
and do not touch the wall.

Please do not touch the patients...

or anything the patients
have been in contact with.

How is she?

How is she, Doc?

I'd like to be more encouraging,
Mr. Nichols, but it's polio...

complicated by encephalitis.

The child's been in a coma
for 48 hours.

I'm afraid the chances are very slim.

That's your opinion.

Not only mine.
All the doctors on the staff.

Well, then get another staff...

- or another hospital.
- Loring.

Listen, you, that's my daughter
you're talking about...

and you're not gonna make a statistic
out of her...

and give up before you even get started.

If you don't know anything,
get somebody who does.

Do something for her, will you, Doc?

Hi.

I finally found an all-night
hamburger joint right on the corner.

Any word?

Isn't it funny? You live with a man
seven or eight years...

and you forget whether he takes
mustard or ketchup on his hamburgers.

I'm not hungry.

Now I remember. Ketchup.

- I couldn't eat it anyway--
- Come on, please. Go on. Eat it, Loring.

You know,
I started out blaming you, too.

The first few hours, I hated you,
and then I got to thinking.

This could have happened
no matter where Dorothy was.

Even people that never
let their kids out of their sight...

this happens to them.
Who can you blame? The whole world?

I can narrow it down
a little better than that.

When I threw a couple of things
together to come out here...

the first thing
I threw in my bag was my cornet.

That'll give you a rough idea.

Oh, go on, Loring.
You gotta eat something.

If, by any miracle,
that kid comes through this....

I'm gonna give up this whole rat race.

I didn't think you believed in miracles.

Right now,
there's very little else to believe in.

Loring...

you remember the lyric
to The Battle Hymn of the Republic?

What brought that up?

Well, it's been so long since either of us
were at a church festival.

I thought
we might be able to remember that one.

I can't remember it at all
and I must've played it 1,000 times.

"Mine eyes have seen the glory...

"of the coming of the Lord.

"He is trampling down the," something...

"where the grapes of wrath are stored."

Doesn't seem to fit the situation here,
does it?

It's the only one we know.
What's the rest?

"He has loosed the awful lightning...

"of His terrible swift sword.

- "His truth is marching on."
- Mrs. Nichols...

your daughter's calling you.

She's....

Come on, honey. Dorothy's calling.

Put down the sandwich.
You're always eating.

- Hello, baby.
- Darling, hi.

Hello, sweetheart.

Alakazam kazam.

Sorry, but you'd better go now.
We don't want to overdo it, you know?

- Oh, Doctor, please.
- Please.

I'd like my mother to stay.

Just have to cancel the tour.
That's all. Taxi.

What do you mean, cancel the tour?

Red, they'll sue you for every dime you
should've saved in the past five years.

- We got a contract.
- We'll pay them off.

Pay them off? With what?

Look, tell the boys in the band that....

Well, I don't know
how you're gonna tell them.

It's still the same as being fired.

But tell them I'm sorry,
and pay them off, too.

Where am I gonna get it? You've been
living like there's no income tax.

And now, you got doctor bills like crazy.

- You ever see anything like this?
- Yeah.

That waitress I took out last night.
Red, would you listen to me?

Taxi.

You know what those doctors
had the nerve to tell me?

I had a big consultation.

They said that Dorothy
would never ever walk again.

Never ever.

You think I'm going to
take that lying down?

Sure, Red. Fire the hospital.

- So long, Tony.
- What do you mean? I'm going with you.

It's been great knowing you.

So you finally got around
to firing me, huh?

- Who else is left?
- Okay.

Do me a favor, will you, Tony?

Don't tell the boys what happened.
I mean...

- you just don't know where I am, okay?
- Sure.

I never saw you before in my whole life.

So long, stranger.
About those doctors...

pretty soon they'll be working for you.

- Over here!
- Look at me, Red!

Well, take it easy.
You're gonna pull the whole roof down.

I can do it three times.

You can? I can only do it twice.

How you getting along
with your neighbor?

Boy, you got a strange one.

Only exercise she's done
since she's been here...

- was when she tried to spit in my eye.
- Shut up.

- There she goes again.
- Well, that's how it goes.

Honey, I got a nice assortment
for you today.

First, we have what we call
a little raggaplumian doll right here.

And then, we have...
Oh, this is the great one. Look.

All you gotta do is push it down like that,
and it'll play the cymbals for you.

You know I can't reach.

The doctor says you could
if you wanted to.

Oh, sure. Easy as pie.

- Hey, Red.
- Yeah?

What about our glee club?

Not today, Billy. I don't feel up to it.

Oh, brother. Must run in the family.

How about it, kids?
Have you all done your practicing?

- Yeah!
- Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi.

Well, don't call me. I'll call you.

- Let's do Schnitzelbank again.
- Yeah!

Hold. Hold on. Hold the phone.

We can't do Schnitzelbank.
The last time we did Schnitzelbank...

I beat you by two choruses
and a half a "schnitz."

- All right, here we go.
- Why does he come down here...

and make a regular spectacle
out of himself?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe for some strange reason
he likes to be around you.

Oh, sure. As soon as I'm better,
I'll never see him again.

We now have a solo with the
big soprano here, right? All right.

Yes, you are ready to sing now?

Ja. Well, this is nice. All right.

Ja. Well, you will be the soprano
in the first part.

And then, after, we will come back
to the tenors and the baronodes. Ja?

- Dorothy.
- What's that?

That's my present...

from that fellow that's making
a regular spectacle out of himself.

- It's a house.
- I believe it is.

We're gonna live in it
as soon as you get out of here.

- All of us?
- All of us. All the time.

Down in Los Angeles, where the doctors
say the sunshine's better for you.

Our own whole house that's ours?

Ours and the First National Bank.

- Our own towels?
- It's a thought.

Hold it up again.

This is the most delicious thing
your mother has cooked...

since we've been in this house.

Blanket a la mode, it's delicious.

Don't let him put any more of those
hot things on me. They burn. They burn.

We have to, Dorothy. You've got to
understand that we have to.

All right, nothing is gonna make her cry,
is it? Is anything making you cry?

- No, nothing.
- That's a good girl.

But those hot things won't do any good.
Nothing will.

You think that's real crying?
No, it's nothing but a fake.

When I was Dorothy's age...

we had some kids on our block
who could really cry.

We had a kid called Fat Tommy.

Now, there was a crier. When he cried,
you could hear him for miles around.

He'd go....

Everybody heard him.
Then, there was Meyer the crier.

Now, he was a fine crier.

Meyer the crier was a crier fine.
Meyer, crier, was a fine crier.

Did you know that?

He would hiccup when he cried.
He would go....

Now, you know....
Did I ever tell you about Silent Sam?

- There was a fine crier.
- No!

He never made a sound. He was
what we'd call a back-draft crier.

Did you ever hear one of those?

He didn't make any sound at all
on the way out, only on the way back.

He would go....

But you know who was
the champ of all? Joe Whiffenbeck.

He used to cry like he was laughing
and laugh like he was crying.

He used to go....

You cry when you laugh, too, don't you?

Well, Joe Whiffenbeck...

where have you been all this time?

Come on, baby.
We better give Daddy a hug.

Just roll over very easily. That's a girl.

How about putting me down for some
extra overtime? I'll take all I can get.

You trying to stop the war in Europe
all by yourself?

I got a couple of wars. So long.

Brown, John A.

- Dorothy? Look what I got.
- Give it to me.

Yeah, well, I will in just a minute.

Come on. You want it?
Come on, baby. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come and get it.
Come and get it. Come and get it.

There you go.

That's a good girl. Come on.

- That's good.
- Come on. That's wonderful.

Hold it. Hold it.

Drawbridge.

Here we go. Here.

Oh, no, that's a railroad.
It's a steamship, honey.

Now, come on. Try it again.

There she blows, men! Man
the lifeboats! Steady the rudder, boys.

Look to the harpoons. Ahoy!

If you put some whiskey with that soda,
I'll do it all afternoon with you, okay?

Stand up, stand up

Stand up and tell us your name
your name

Stand up, stand up

Stand up and tell us your name

My name is Dorothy Nichols,
and I'm 14 years old...

and I'm having a very happy birthday.

And, Richard Wilson,
you've had four sandwiches...

and you're only getting
half a piece of cake.

Human vacuum cleaner.

- Make a wish, and blow out the candles.
- Okay.

It's too bad you kids were so hungry
you couldn't wait...

for Dorothy's father
to get home from work.

We can wait. Just bake another cake.

Hey, let's put on some records.

- That's a good idea.
- Then we can all dance.

I'm sorry.

That's all right.
You kids go ahead and dance.

I'll put on the records.
Daddy's very fussy about them.

Oh, one of those.
He probably blows his top...

if you play anything
but Jeanie With the Light Brown Hair.

You'd be surprised.

You know, Mr. Nichols started
the original Five Pennies.

What's Five Pennies?

Am I getting that old?

Is he hip enough to have some Benny
Goodman or Jimmy Dorsey here?

All of them. Jimmy and Benny
used to work in his band.

Mama, don't put it on too thick.
Benny Goodman and Jimmy Dorsey?

Well, don't you remember?

Jimmy Dorsey used to bring you candy
and peanuts.

Was that the same Jimmy Dorsey?
Well, how did he get so famous?

Stopped working for peanuts.

You know who else
worked for your father?

Tommy Dorsey
and Charlie Teagarden...

and Glenn Miller and Gene Krupa....

And Ludwig von Beethoven.

Their names are on the labels.

I'll go find some records
and show them to you.

Really? How about some punch
or cookies or anything?

Dorothy, honestly,
don't you really remember?

Well, I remember he had a band,
and he was pretty good, but....

Well, if he was that good,
why did he quit?

Well, I guess
you wouldn't believe that, either.

- Come on. Let's get a little jive, huh?
- Yeah, man.

That sounds like Artie Shaw's band,
and he used to play for Mr. Nichols, too.

If your father
was such a hotshot bandleader...

how come he's working
with my old man down at the shipyard?

Oh, I don't know.
You know, my mother's 34 years old.

I think she's getting senile.

Don't worry.
They'll find a drug or something.

They better hurry.

How about a big hand
for Glenn Miller and the boys...

for coming down to give us this show?

And here's Glenn himself.

Thank you. Thanks, fellows.

Now we'd like to do a real oldie...

one of the jazz classics
from the good old days...

that I used to play
when I was first trombone...

with Red Nichols
and the famous Five Pennies: Indiana.

Hey, Ernie. Where you going?

I gotta get home.
It's my daughter's birthday.

- Ain't you gonna stay for the music?
- I've heard it.

- Hello.
- Hi, Daddy.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.

- Where did you find those old records?
- In the closet.

I thought I asked you
to throw all of these out.

I'm glad you didn't.
Some of them are pretty funny.

Yeah, hilarious.

Say, Mr. Nichols, was that really you
playing that old trumpet?

The instrument you're referring to
is known as a cornet.

Cornet.

They still got a few of them left
at the Smithsonian Institute...

right next to the dinosaurs.

Saving a place for me, too.

I'm sure that was Dad playing.
I can remember. And he was good.

He played just like Harry James.

Harry James plays something like me,
only not enough.

- All right.
- We believe you.

There was Bix, and there was Louis,
and there was me...

and that was it.

- You and Bix and Louis.
- That's right.

- I'll remember.
- Just do that, will you, son?

Mr. Nichols, my father
used to listen to you all the time...

and he told me all about you.

- Yeah, well, that's something.
- He said that you were smart...

to get out of the business
before the parade passed you by.

I have got a message for your father...

except you're not old enough
to deliver it.

Dad, would you like to lie down
and take a rest?

No, I'm fine.
I wouldn't like anything of the sort.

Wish I had a horn here.
I'd show you kids something.

Will this do?

This is one of my old horns.
Where did you find it?

Tony sent it a long time ago.

He thought some member of the family
ought to start playing.

He did, huh?

I've got some homework to do.
See you tomorrow, Dorothy.

Nice party.

Don't you want to stay just a little while?

Well, you don't have to go now, do you?

Is he always like this?

Idiotville, USA,
and The Brown Derby is the capital.

You promised for our anniversary
you'd take me anywhere I wanted to go.

Yeah, I know.

- It's a long time since we ever went out.
- Right.

- Look. Isn't that Bob Hope?
- No, he can't afford to eat here, either.

- Let's sit where all the movie stars are.
- What about under the table?

If you knew how I hated to go
to these places....

- Got a table for three, please?
- What's the name, please?

Nichols.

- Loring "Nobody" Nichols.
- I'm sorry. There's a half-an-hour wait.

Could I try another name?

I'm sorry. You have to wait
just like everybody else. I'm sorry.

Hey, Red. Paisan, can it be you?
It's like out of the blue.

- Hello, Tony.
- What is this?

You don't see a guy
for six or seven years...

and that's the best you can do?
"Hello, Tony."

- Not even a handshake?
- Hello, Tony.

- Now that's what I call a handshake.
- Hello, Mr. Valani.

Dorothy.
Listen, come on, and sit at my table.

- Wonderful.
- It's all right, Lou.

You know I'm handling bands now
for the Morris office?

They pick up all the checks,
and I spend all my time eating.

- That's fine.
- You know, it's just like a miracle.

I don't hear from you for years...

and then, just today, I was talking
to a couple of the big boys about you.

What this music business
needs right now is another Red Nichols.

If they can't find a hole in the head.

Tony, how come the table
is set for four?

Are you expecting the Andrews Sisters?

As for you,
you don't even like movie stars.

I do.

All right, Loring. It's a plot.

I read that Tony was in town,
so I called him.

Of course, I can't start you right off
at Carnegie Hall, you know?

But listen, there's a little club
on Ventura Boulevard. It's a beginning.

Not for me. Let's get out of here, baby.

Red, what's the matter?

It's another guy
you're talking about, Tony. Just forget it.

- Red?
- Red.

Hey, Red. Hey, man,
where have you been?

- Hi, Jimmy. Hello, Glenn. How are you?
- It's good to see you.

- And Bobbie. Is that Dorothy?
- It is.

What're you doing with Tony?

I thought you were out
of the music business for good.

Oh, no, we're just passing through
on my way to Hawaii.

- That's great. Retired, huh?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm retired...

just sit at home,
clipping coupons all the time.

I never knew any member of the Union
ever made it.

- Well, you're looking at one, Jimmy.
- Oh, yeah.

Well, I'd like to hang around, boys,
but I've gotta go and see my broker.

How about some food?

- No, thanks.
- No, we're not hungry.

- Mr. Dorsey.
- Yeah.

- Well, I got it.
- Well, let me have it!

No, I can handle it, fellows.

Jimmy, the next time...

some lush asks you to play
Melancholy Baby just one more time...

and you're out there
breaking your backs...

on those one-nighters out in the sticks...

just remember
the one fellow who made it, huh?

The old redhead, remember him?

- Sure enough.
- So long, slaves.

- Good to see you. Take care.
- Good luck, Red.

It's a great future
you and Tony figured out for me.

Hotlips Nichols, at my age.

How may I help you fix this sandwich?
You've got everything in it but the dog.

Blowing my brains out
in some nightclub.

You build any good ships lately?

No. Well, now, honey,
you know the music business.

It's a lot different now.

People don't want
my kind of music anymore.

That wouldn't have stopped you before.

I've been sitting around here for years...

waiting for you
to punish yourself enough...

so you could go back
to the only thing that makes you happy...

but you've been punishing yourself
so long...

- you're beginning to like it.
- Bobbie.

Well, what happened
to the wonderful lunatic I married?

- That was ages ago.
- I don't know if it'll be good, bad...

or terrible,
and I don't think that really matters.

I just wanna get you out of that shipyard
before we lose the war.

I'm beginning to think I've lost mine.

You can sleep in that sandwich, tonight.
Pull the rye bread over you.

I'm not gonna start all over again
like I was 18.

That's not for me.

None of us are as young
as we used to be, you know.

Except your mother, of course.
She's about four and a half.

Dad, why did you
quit the music business?

I forget.

I guess I never even said thank you.

I can remember so many things now.

So can I, baby.

The ice age and the big flood...

and Noah waving me aboard.

Daddy?

Would it be too tough for you...

to try and pick up where you left off?

You wanna know the truth?

Yes, it would be too tough.

My lip's gone, honey.
I've laid off too long...

and when that happens
to a horn player...

it just never comes back. It....

Well, in my case anyway, it would be...

just impossible. That's all.

I remember, when I talked like that...

and you threw a hot blanket on me,
right on this table.

There's a lot of your mother in you,
isn't there?

You don't seem to understand
any better than she does.

All these fellows I started
in the band business...

are all big-time bandleaders now.
Benny, Glenn, Jimmy....

They'd be laughing up their sleeves
at me.

"There was one kid on our block,
Meyer the crier."

Good night, Meyer.

Some of the kids still laugh at me.

- Good night.
- Good night, dear.

Hey, Tony, feast your eyes
on this mammoth opening.

My name outside
certainly pulled them in, didn't it?

- Could shoot a cannon out there.
- It's still pretty early, yet.

It's awful late.

At least, I thought a couple
of fellow dinosaurs would show up...

only to see
how long it took me to crack my lip.

I guess fans forget
pretty good, don't they?

Hey, paisan...

you got two fans out there...

that I'd give all the willing waitresses
in Hoboken for.

What do you care if nobody shows up?
Go out there and play for them.

Yeah. I would ask them if they got some
cotton with witch hazel on it--

Now, wait a minute. Listen to me,
will you? I never told you this before...

but all the time on the road, you know?
I was having all that fun...

and you were tied down
with your companion and baby?

Well, I thought you were
the luckiest guy in the world...

and I still think so.

Look at me.
$150 suits, shoes from England...

closets full of everything,
including dames.

I mean, what am I trying to prove?
Tell me.

Next time I go east,
maybe I'll stop off in Brooklyn, huh?

Who knows?

I guess I'll go out
and keep the kids company.

Yeah.

He's been practicing two solid months.

Won't you come home, Bill Bailey

Won't you come home?

I'm feeling all alone

Now, I know I'm to blame

Ain't that a shame

Bill Bailey,
won't you please come home

Joseph Haydn,
why didn't you come out sooner?

Bobbie, why don't you come up here?
I'd like to have the whole band.

Go on, Bobbie. Go on.

You come, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, our society
chanteuse, Miss Bobbie Meredith.

- Aren't they wonderful?
- Yeah.

- Someday, they'll all be working for me.
- Come on, Bobbie. Belt it out.

I don't think I can.
I'm a little misty-eyed tonight.

I've got a surprise for you, too.

You.... You couldn't be.

- Show me the rabbit.
- Now, you turn around.

All right.

May I have this dance?

This little penny is to wish on

And make your wishes come true

This little penny is to dream on

Dream of all you can do

This little penny is a dancing penny

See how it glitters and it glows

As bright as a whistle
Light as a thistle

Quick

This little penny is to laugh on

To see that tears never fall

This little penny
Is the last little penny

And most important of all

For this penny is to love on

And where love is, heaven is there

So with just five pennies

if they're these five pennies

That's enough, baby.

You'll be a millionaire

Put me down.
I can stand on my own two feet now.

So can I, my darling.

- Alakazam kazam kazam.
- Alakazam kazam kazam.

Give me my horn, Tony.