Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,936
Good day, I'm Prince Andrew.
This is lovely.
2
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:20,936
In honour of getting myself
back into the swing of things,
3
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,136
the producers of Spitting Image
have sent me this gift.
4
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,936
OK, "Sit down," it says.
5
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,976
"Take off the lid," it says,
6
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,960
"and put your face
right down into the..."
7
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,936
Hey, everybody.
Thanks for coming out to my rally.
8
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,936
You're beautiful, I love you,
we're gonna have fun.
9
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,456
Melania is here, Ivanka,
10
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,936
and that dynamo of energy
and excitement,
11
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,936
Jared Kushner!
12
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,936
J-Man!
13
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,456
Show us those dance moves.
Give me a Y...
14
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,936
M...
15
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,937
C...
16
00:00:58,961 --> 00:01:01,000
Easy, don't drive the crowd crazy.
17
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:06,960
And my biggest fan,
he's at every Trump rally, Coroney!
18
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,136
Catch me if you can!
19
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,936
Wa-hey! CHEERING
20
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,936
Vote for me, I'm the funnest
president since Lincoln.
21
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:30,936
It's All Hallows' Eve,
spookius maximus.
22
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,936
The perfect night for a seance
23
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,936
to summon the ghost
of Winston Churchill.
24
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,936
He'll tell us how to
get out of this quagmire
25
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,456
we governed ourselves into.
26
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,976
The witches brew is almost ready.
27
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,936
In goes eye of puppy,
other eye of puppy,
28
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:46,936
rest of puppy.
29
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,936
All right, join hands.
30
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,936
Oh, mightiest Tory leader,
Torius imperator,
31
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,936
come unto us and impart your wisdom
32
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,936
because we haven't got
a bastard clue.
33
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,296
Never surrender... Darkest hour...
34
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,936
No, no, no.
35
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,936
You turn if you want to.
36
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,936
OMG, it's Margaret Thatcher!
My hero!
37
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,960
I'm quivering in fear.
38
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,936
I'm just tucking my shirt
into my trousers.
39
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,936
Why have you summoned me,
you snivelling weaklings?
40
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,456
We're having some trouble
with the North.
41
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,936
Abolish it!
42
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,936
Maybe we can suggest that
to the mayors
43
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,616
during the next round
of negotiations.
44
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,936
You're negotiating
with northerners?!
45
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,936
Oh, you cretinous wets!
46
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,936
This is so hot. If I had a pulse,
it would be racing.
47
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,936
I want to kiss her, him, it.
48
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,936
Lips so sausagey.
49
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,936
What shall we do about
hungry school kids?
50
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,976
Take away their milk, snatch it!
51
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,936
We've already taken away
their meals.
52
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,936
Never take everything away.
53
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,936
Make them feel grateful
for what little they get.
54
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,936
OK. About the EU,
now that we've left it...
55
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,936
You left it? My God,
what are you going to do next?
56
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,456
Catch immigrants with nets?
57
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:15,936
Erm...
58
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,936
I was the Iron Lady,
not the Stupid Twat.
59
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,776
That does it, I'm coming back,
taking over,
60
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,456
and reshuffling you all into hell.
61
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,936
How do we get rid of her?
62
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,936
It says here our only option
is an immediate blood sacrifice.
63
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:36,960
Hancock.
64
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,936
And it should be a virgin.
65
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,960
Hancock.
66
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,936
Do I get a sticker for being brave?
67
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:53,937
Argh...
68
00:03:53,961 --> 00:03:57,976
Another bloody U-turn!
69
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,936
What happened? What did Winston say?
70
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,936
He said to kill Hancock.
71
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,936
Ah, now that's leadership. Pint?
72
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:15,936
Mike, a lot of people are saying
voter fraud is a big, big problem.
73
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,936
Mainly stupid people.
Mainly Republicans, exactly.
74
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,936
I want an election
that is free and fair.
75
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,976
So I'm going to personally check
all the mail-in ballots.
76
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,936
And destroy the fraudulent ones?
77
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,976
Yes, the fraudulent ones
that voted for Democrats.
78
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,936
That's definitely one of your best
and only ideas.
79
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,936
But the Post Office will never
let us tamper with the mail.
80
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,936
Not a problem. I just appointed
a new Postmaster General.
81
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,136
Send in the kid!
82
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,960
Jared, put it there.
83
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,936
Great to see you, Jared.
84
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,296
So, Mr Postmaster,
you mind if I borrow your keys?
85
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:57,936
He didn't say no and even if he did,
that's also a yes.
86
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,936
OK, let's go steal some mail.
87
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,936
But what if someone sees us?
Don't worry.
88
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,960
I bought some Halloween masks
as a disguise.
89
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,936
Gangs of hoodlums, people petrified
in their own homes,
90
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,936
the country's falling apart,
Aneurin.
91
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,936
If only I was in a position
to do something.
92
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,936
You are the leader
of the Labour Party.
93
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,936
Exactly. Powerless.
94
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,936
I have no choice,
I shall become a masked hero,
95
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,936
a bringer of vigilante justice.
96
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,936
But what dark creature of the night
shall I choose as my symbol?
97
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,456
That's it, the fox.
98
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,936
The garbage-eating pest that strikes
fear into the heart of every Tory.
99
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,960
I'd better check with the NEC
that foxes are kosher.
100
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,936
Any crooked ballots? None yet.
101
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,936
But we've only checked
the first 20 million.
102
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,976
A-ha! Found something.
Voter fraud?
103
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,936
No, a birthday card some old bat
sent to her six-year-old grandson.
104
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,936
20 bucks! Paydirt!
105
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:11,937
Here's an anomaly, sir.
106
00:06:11,961 --> 00:06:13,936
The signature on this ballot
doesn't match the name.
107
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,936
Out of my way, let me see that.
108
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,456
That fish-hooky symbol doesn't match
the flaggy-looking thing.
109
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,936
That's a letter J and a letter P.
110
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,936
So they're using letters
to represent words?
111
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,936
Must be a secret code.
It's English.
112
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,296
Send this to the FBI crime lab
and find out who mailed it.
113
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:34,296
No-one steals an election from me,
you got that?
114
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,960
I'm President, I do the stealing.
115
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,616
Joe, old chum, buddy.
116
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,936
The whole thing with me and Trump,
just a phase.
117
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,936
Our real special relationship
has always been with you...
118
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,936
ever since I saw the latest polls.
119
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:49,937
I appreciate that, man.
120
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:52,936
Hey, love the accent.
Where are you from? Pittsburgh?
121
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,936
Listen, I'd love
to talk about trade.
122
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,936
Well, what you got? Comic books?
Baseball cards?
123
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,936
No, but we've got one thing
America can't live without.
124
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,936
It's me, babes.
125
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,456
♪ Woah-ooh, woah-ooh. ♪
126
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,936
Mental, innit? Ha-ha!
127
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,936
Wait, are you Borat?
128
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,136
It's Prosecco o'clock.
129
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,000
♪ Woo-hoo. ♪
130
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,776
Give me the purse
or I'll kick out your Invisaligns.
131
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:20,936
Piss off!
132
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,960
THEY GASP This party is over.
133
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,296
I am Fox Man and I am here
to clean up these streets.
134
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,936
Masked vigilante, hey?
135
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,936
I'm not afraid of you.
Nor should you be.
136
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,936
I'm here to find
a pragmatic solution
137
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,616
which brings all sides together
around a shared outcome.
138
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,936
A shared outcome?
He's trying to kill me.
139
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,936
I understand the strength of feeling
on this issue.
140
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,936
Which is why I'm proposing
a royal commission...
141
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,936
It's time to skin the fox.
142
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,936
Do you have a super-weapon?
143
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,936
No, it's something
far more powerful,
144
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,936
The Crime And Courts Act 2013.
145
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,936
It gives judges at Crown, District
and Magistrate level
146
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,936
the power to defer sentencing
147
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,936
in lieu of restorative justice.
148
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,936
He's asleep.
You're a genius, Badger Lad.
149
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,800
It's Fox Man. Yeah, whatever.
150
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,936
My fellow Americans,
it is my sad duty
151
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,936
to report some very disturbing
voter fraud.
152
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,936
This ballot was illegally cast
by a foreigner
153
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,936
seeking to interfere
in our elections.
154
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,936
The FBI has obtained
security videotape
155
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,960
of this foreign individual
which I will now play.
156
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,616
Whatever you say, Mr Trump.
157
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,296
I think that's the wrong video,
Mr President.
158
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,456
All right,
but this is the good part.
159
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,936
Now what do we watch, genius?
160
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,936
Actually, we caught the foreigner in
question last night in California.
161
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,136
Bring him in.
162
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,936
Prince Harry?
You're the illegal foreign voter?
163
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,936
I just wanted to be
part of the process.
164
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,136
I feel so grateful
to live in America
165
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,936
where everyone gets to vote,
166
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,936
instead of being lorded over
by a wank like my brother.
167
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,936
They do vote in England too.
168
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,936
Really? I'm gobsmacked.
I guess I missed that in school.
169
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,936
According to this,
he voted for you, Donald.
170
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,936
What?
Your name was first on the list.
171
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,936
I thought that's how it worked.
172
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,936
We can't throw out that ballot, sir.
We need every vote.
173
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:25,936
No problem. Harry,
I hereby declare you a US citizen
174
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,776
if you can answer
this one simple question.
175
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,936
How many states are there
in the Union?
176
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,776
50. Wrong. Damn it!
177
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,936
Jared, send this loser back home.
178
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,936
To England? No, California.
179
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,936
I want you to suffer.
180
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,136
Safely back in the fox hole.
181
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,936
The future looks bright for Fox Man.
182
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,936
And I, Aneurin,
your faithful butler,
183
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:50,937
will be right there with you.
184
00:09:50,961 --> 00:09:52,936
Only if approved
by the Butler Union,
185
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,936
pursuant to overtime limits
under the Working Time Directive.
186
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,936
What can you tell us about this
mysterious vigilante?
187
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,936
Well, he was wearing a dead badger
or something.
188
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,936
It smelled of rotting flesh.
189
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,776
What a shame,
190
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,296
Fox Man is just another pervert
with a dead animal fetish.
191
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:19,776
More media smears.
Oh, God, am I turning into Corbyn?
192
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,136
Daddy, why did Christmas
come early this year?
193
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:29,936
Because there's a magic man
who wants everybody to love him.
194
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,936
And is he truly handsome and
does he wear a lovely, blue suit?
195
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,936
Yes, darling, he's Rishi Sunak
and he lives at the Treasury,
196
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,936
so he gives the best gift of all -
money.
197
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,296
If anyone ever says he isn't real,
tell 'em this.
198
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:47,296
♪ You better not gripe
You better not moan
199
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,936
♪ He's got virus grants
And emergency loans
200
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:55,960
♪ Rishi Sunak's helping us all
201
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,776
♪ I've got a nice smile
And dark, shiny hair
202
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,296
♪ I throw around cash
So you know that I care
203
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:08,936
♪ Rishi Sunak's helping us all
204
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,616
♪ He knows your job is threatened
205
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,936
♪ Your bills keep you awake
206
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,456
♪ But Rishi's borrowed billions
207
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,976
♪ Have some cash, for goodness sake
208
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,936
♪ I crossed all the T's
I dotted the I's
209
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,936
♪ I wasted it all
On shit health supplies
210
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:32,616
♪ Rishi Sunak's helping us all
211
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:38,936
♪ He helped to bail the Arts out
Though he left it rather late
212
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,936
♪ I said "Delay your tax bill"
213
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,776
♪ I'll go broke at a later date
214
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,936
♪ We all went on furlough
215
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,936
♪ Rishi made the landing soft
216
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,936
♪ But only till October ends
217
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,960
♪ And then you're all laid off
218
00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,976
♪ He's borrowed it all
We're deep in arrears
219
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,936
♪ The recession that's coming
Will last 80 years
220
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,936
♪ Rishi Sunak's helping us all
221
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,936
♪ You'll be left with nothing... ♪
222
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:14,937
Give me that.
223
00:12:14,961 --> 00:12:18,936
♪ ..at all. ♪
224
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,936
Now do you believe?
Here's your present, little girl.
225
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,456
Something expensive that will last
for years and years.
226
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,960
You mean...? Yes, it's the tax bill
for all of this. Good luck, bye.
227
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:45,936
Now, look, Marcus Rashford
is hauling us over the coals
228
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:46,937
about free school meals.
229
00:12:46,961 --> 00:12:49,936
The thing to do is meet with him
face-to-face
230
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,936
and lay out our thoughts
and concerns
231
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,936
in a calm, sensible manner.
232
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:58,136
♪ We kept all the pies
The pizzas and the fries
233
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:02,936
♪ Marcus Rashford, do-good bastard
We kept all the pies. ♪
234
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,936
Hello, Elon.
235
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,936
Planning another diatribe
about how Amazon is a monopoly.
236
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,296
Or just gonna go,
"Wah, wah, short sellers"?
237
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,936
Your lame jabs cannot hurt me,
Bezos.
238
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,936
By November 3rd, I'll be on Mars.
239
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,936
I'm leaving before the inevitable
final catastrophe.
240
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,296
What about your
songbird wife Grimes?
241
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,936
She's at home working on music
to power our new civilisation.
242
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,976
♪ Mars, Grimes on Mars
243
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,936
♪ Red planet. ♪
244
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,936
I won't be taking her.
Musketeer, how are they swinging?
245
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,936
In unison, if you must know.
246
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,456
Push off, Branson,
we're discussing space travel.
247
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,936
Nothing that concerns you.
248
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,936
Virgin Galactic
pioneered commercial space travel.
249
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,936
A three-minute view
from low-Earth orbit
250
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,936
for a mere quarter million dollars.
251
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,936
WE are trying to get to Mars.
252
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,616
We? Hang on.
253
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,936
Since when do you have
a Mars programme?
254
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,136
I'm Amazon.
I can order anything I want for me.
255
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:13,136
Did I mention we offer snack service
like space corn?
256
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:17,936
Imagine gnawing it right off the cob
in zero G.
257
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,936
Then the race to Mars is on.
258
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,937
You versus me.
259
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,936
No, you versus ME.
260
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,976
And also me.
Branson makes three.
261
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,976
A toast to seal the wager. Gents?
262
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,960
Oh, we chaps have fun.
263
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,936
What is this thing?
It has a pleasant snap.
264
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,936
Like crushing an enemy's exoskeleton
beneath one's talon.
265
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:43,937
It's a poppadom.
266
00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:45,936
You must have been to
a curry house before, Dominic?
267
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,456
Of course, there are many
curry houses on my home planet.
268
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,936
I mean my home town,
which is Epsilon-5.
269
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,936
I mean Durham.
270
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,936
Look, I'm making a move on Boris
and I want you on my team.
271
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:01,936
Yes. He is weak
and he won't let me eat his baby.
272
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,936
Exactly. You see,
we're a lot alike, you and I.
273
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,936
I'm from a humble fishing village,
you're an alien from Epsilon-5.
274
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,936
How did you know I'm an alien
from Epsilon-5?
275
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,936
I didn't until now. Very clever.
276
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,296
We are alike. Zero empathy,
a total lack of moral core.
277
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,936
What dark and inhuman corner
of the galaxy are you from?
278
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,936
Scotland. Plausible.
279
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,136
I am glad we are allies.
280
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,976
Me too. Try the curry.
281
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,976
Argh!
282
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,936
It contains turmeric,
a deadly poison to my race.
283
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,936
I suspected as much.
284
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,616
Sorry, old boy,
but only one can rule, you know.
285
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,936
Utterly despicable.
286
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,936
So you are Scottish!
287
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,976
Mr Zuckerberg, we believe Facebook
is being used by Russia
288
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,616
to disseminate misinformation.
289
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,936
I am shocked and surprised
to hear such an allegation.
290
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:03,936
Where did you say, Russia?
With an R?
291
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:08,776
Extremely divisive material is
constantly blasted on your platform
292
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,936
by what are called "troll farms".
293
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,936
This is the first time I've heard
even a hint of such things.
294
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,936
But I assure you I will personally
investigate this matter.
295
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:24,160
Although I very much doubt the
existence of these "troll farms".
296
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,936
The western inspector is here
297
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,936
to make sure we are legitimate
Facebook clients.
298
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,936
Change screens now!
I want to see kittens and puppies.
299
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,776
Kittens and puppies!
300
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,936
Mr Zuckerberg, welcome.
301
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,936
We are all biggest fans
of your book of faces.
302
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,936
That lines up with our data.
303
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,936
We traced a lot of messages
to this place,
304
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,936
so I came to make sure
everything is on the level.
305
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,936
Now, who is "Auntie Svetlana
who loves knitting"?
306
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,936
It is I.
Auntie, I love your knitting site
307
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,936
but could you maybe tone down
the rampant racism?
308
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:03,937
We'll try.
309
00:17:03,961 --> 00:17:05,936
Great. And which one of you is
310
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,936
"14-year-old Timmy Johnson
from Sioux Falls"?
311
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:09,937
Is also me.
312
00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:12,936
I hate to be sceptical,
but it's my job.
313
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,976
Aren't you kind of old and female
to be a 14-year-old boy?
314
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,616
Wow! And I thought we of America
315
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,136
is celebrating gender
and age fluidity.
316
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,936
We of America?
317
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,936
These are all red-blooded,
apple beet pie lovers
318
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,936
from the US and also A.
319
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:30,937
But what are you all doing out here
320
00:17:30,961 --> 00:17:34,936
in the Anadyrsky District
of Chukotka Autonomous Okrug?
321
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:35,937
Is good Wi-Fi.
322
00:17:35,961 --> 00:17:38,936
Well, I've done all that
could possibly be expected
323
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,936
to ensure the integrity of Facebook.
324
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,936
And now off to China
325
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,960
to check out Alabama Joe's
Spoonbread Cotillion.
326
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,136
You?!
327
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,936
That's right, Govey.
328
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:59,136
But I thought that... You had safely
dumped me in the kitchen trash.
329
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,936
It turns out that
rancid frier grease
330
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,776
is the perfect antidote to turmeric.
331
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,936
And it's good for the joints.
332
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,960
You have made yourself
a powerful enemy.
333
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:14,936
Plus, you have to get the bill.
334
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,936
No!
335
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,936
In the week of Brexit,
we will no longer be asking you
336
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,136
to maintain
a distance of two metres.
337
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,936
Instead, we shall use a more
traditional British measurement,
338
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,936
the furlong.
339
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,936
So, from now on, please stay one
one-hundredth of a furlong apart.
340
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,936
Strong, furlong,
hopefully not for long.
341
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,936
How big's a furlong?
Ah, yes, to help with that,
342
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,960
we are bringing back another
great British tradition, the ruff.
343
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,936
Stay one ruff apart
and you'll be fine.
344
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,160
Ruff, tough,
hope to God it's enough.
345
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,936
The rockets are fuelled up
and the countdown has begun
346
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,936
for the Mars mission of Elon Musk,
Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson.
347
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,936
The world reacts as three
billionaires leave the planet
348
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:06,937
perhaps never to return.
349
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,936
OK, mission control,
all systems are go.
350
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,936
Be safe, my dear, I know it's hard,
351
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,960
but here's a keepsake
so you'll never forget me.
352
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,936
♪ Mars, Grimes on Mars
353
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,936
♪ Red planet. ♪
354
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,936
Thank you, my dear.
355
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,960
I'm no longer afraid of death.
356
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,936
You're too late, Elon.
As an Amazon Prime subscriber,
357
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,960
I get expedited launches.
358
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,936
Stupid algorithm.
359
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,936
Although I am out.
Eat it, Bezos.
360
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,960
After millions of man hours, I've
developed an abbreviated countdown.
361
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,960
Who did that? Fire that guy!
362
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,960
'Lift-off.' I'm off.
363
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,960
Alexa, make me
my launch-day lemonade.
364
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,936
Too late, gentlemen,
I'm already on my way
365
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,640
with a tried and true solution.
366
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,937
'Branson, you dingbat.
367
00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:28,936
'A balloon can't travel
through space.'
368
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,960
I can still go higher
than my space plane.
369
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,936
Oh, man, I'm getting spacesick.
370
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,960
Only one solution.
371
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:49,976
'Atmosphere contamination detected.
372
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,936
'Engage filtration.'
373
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,936
Go get it, kitty.
374
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,960
Damn it, the ship's too heavy
for some reason.
375
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,936
♪ Mars, Grimes on Mars
376
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,800
♪ Red planet. ♪
377
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,936
Now, now, it's not that bad.
378
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,936
There, you're done.
379
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,936
Careful, I'm pumicing my corns.
380
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,936
It takes total concentration.
381
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,936
What do you do with
all those foot flakes?
382
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,960
I sell to company that make
White House snow globes.
383
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,936
So proud of you.
We're the world's greatest family.
384
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,936
Everybody's saying it.
385
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:06,937
Ready for bed, darling?
386
00:22:06,961 --> 00:22:09,960
Just gotta remove my makeup.
387
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,976
All right, got my bed burger.
388
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,936
Let's hit the sack. Mwah.
389
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:24,296
So, whatever happens to those
billionaire idiots heading for Mars?
390
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,936
You can go and watch part two
of this episode online right now.
391
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,936
I'm not gonna pay good money
to watch some stupid puppets.
392
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,976
Although my puppet is the greatest
and I love it.
393
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,976
I'm gonna send 200 misspelled tweets
about how dumb that is.
394
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,616
No, can't someone else do it?
But who?
395
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,160
Who could really capture
my style and swagger?
396
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,936
Got it! Oh, no!
397
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:47,937
Not that asshole.
398
00:22:54,961 --> 00:22:58,296
SQUELCHING Now what is it doing?
399
00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,936
Jesus Christ.
400
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,960
The asshole subscribed to BritBox!
401
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,960
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org
29366
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof