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1
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,179
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
So late!
2
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,815
Mabel's put a scarf on
the cat.
3
00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:24,184
He's not a cat.
He's my husband.
4
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,186
Where is he?
5
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,189
-Will he bring the ladies with
the big boobies?
-"Ladies"?
6
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,324
Last time,
he brushed my hair with a fork.
7
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,727
There were three ladies,
and they had
an epic pillow fight.
8
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,396
-The fork had maple syrup on it.
-Out of the way, darling.
9
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,864
Well,
10
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:40,533
it's obvious he's not coming,
so I'll just stay home.
11
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,503
You said this was the one thing
you had to leave the house for
this year.
12
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,704
You're right. I'm going.
13
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,406
Move, please, Mabes.
14
00:01:48,641 --> 00:01:51,611
Fuck-- caccia.
15
00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:53,346
Did we eat the focaccia?
16
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,751
Well,
we haven't got any vegetables.
17
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:02,355
But lucky you, you get to have
frozen peas. Mmm.
18
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,624
All right. Come to the table.
19
00:02:04,657 --> 00:02:06,459
Come on.
20
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:10,930
One, two...
21
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,433
What am I going to do
when I get to three?
22
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,569
Please enter alarm code.
23
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,371
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck!
24
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:20,473
-Please enter alarm code.
-No! Don't put the flames out.
25
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:22,509
-We can toast marshmallows.
-Please enter alarm code.
26
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,377
Please--
27
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,854
The tension of our bodies,
28
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,258
the scars of--
29
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,826
Hello, Moto.
30
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,665
...in-- in our longing.
31
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,267
Bridget Jones, always exciting.
32
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,803
- How's the skirt?
- Daniel, hi.
33
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,305
Just checking you have indeed
forgotten about tonight.
34
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,842
That is hurtful, Jones.
I have absolutely not forgotten.
35
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,644
No.
36
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,746
I'm so sorry. It's my mother.
37
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,748
- She's in the hospital.
- Oh.
38
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,950
-Primordial sweat.
-I will be there
39
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:06,653
quicker than
it took me to bring you to
earth-shattering orgasm,
40
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,421
you filthy little harlot.
41
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,861
Love you, Mummy.
42
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,530
"Mummy"?
43
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,965
Darling, clever Geminita.
44
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,701
I'm gonna have to rush.
It's a family emergency.
45
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,703
But I am loving this one.
46
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:25,572
I think-- I think we all are,
aren't we?
47
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,340
Call me later, yeah?
48
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:29,776
Oh, yeah.
49
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:32,579
I am imminent, Jones. Imminent.
50
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,280
Un-bunch those giant panties.
51
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,725
Bloody zip
manufacturers should be
52
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,861
cancelled
for sociological bias.
53
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,598
It is actually impossible
to do this on your own.
54
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,434
Help.
55
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,541
Ooh. Thank you, monkeys.
56
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,909
Uncle Daniel!
57
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,477
Miniature Darcy,
what's the news?
58
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,012
Where are the ladies
with the big--
59
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,947
Hair?
They couldn't make it, sadly.
60
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,749
They're, um...
They're washing their hair.
61
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,384
All three?
62
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,952
Yeah, well, they wash each
other's, you see.
63
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,655
I thought you said
no more models.
64
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,490
Geminita is not a model, Jones.
65
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,459
She is a poet and a healer,
66
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,627
and a model.
67
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,795
Come here.
68
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,764
Hell of a night for you.
69
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,701
Ugh, I can't go.
The children need me.
70
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,102
Uncle Daniel!
71
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,904
You. Right.
72
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,440
Get a fork and some syrup.
I'm gonna style you.
73
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,975
- I found the cards.
- Very good. Excellent.
74
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:40,046
Now then, we need to work on
your bluffing and your cheating.
75
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,468
Life has its white notes...
76
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,874
and life has its black notes.
77
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,947
You look very beautiful tonight,
Mrs Darcy.
78
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,350
Not looking so bad yourself,
Mr Darcy.
79
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,000
Bridget.
80
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,069
Very black notes.
81
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:38,972
Jolly good. Come in.
Weather's been a bit shitty,
hasn't it?
82
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,573
-Though the cricket this year
has been...
-Jeremy.
83
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,109
...absolutely phenomenal.
84
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:46,980
This is what happened.
85
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,683
Mark Darcy, my husband,
86
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,818
father to Billy and Mabel,
87
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,687
died.
88
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,989
Or rather, was killed
89
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,426
in the Sudan on
a humanitarian mission.
90
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,630
-Everybody's just upstairs.
-Thanks.
91
00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,666
And that was four
years ago. Today, actually.
92
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,037
Brace yourself.
It's a total fucking shit show.
93
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:16,743
And even though there
might be 600,000 words in
the human language,
94
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:20,013
the world still struggles
to find the right ones
95
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,949
when someone you love is gone.
96
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:24,751
Bridget, how are the children?
97
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,019
- Mmm.
- Are they--
98
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,921
Are they all right without
you there?
99
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,990
No. It's fine.
100
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:34,060
Left them some crystal meth
in the kitchen.
101
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,764
Maybe not.
102
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,866
Well, we don't make a thing
about it.
103
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,935
We celebrate Mark's birthday
instead.
104
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,069
Oh.
105
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,505
So, Bridget, still on your own?
106
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,140
It's been four years now.
107
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,709
You're still
in pretty good nick.
Why no chap?
108
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,912
Now, now. It's not Bridget's
fault. Very hard,
being a middle-aged woman
109
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,547
- and finding yourself single.
- Mmm.
110
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,951
Better if you're a bloke.
Look at Binko Carruthers.
111
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,552
He's no oil painting,
112
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,722
but the second Rosemary died,
he was inundated.
113
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,559
Of course, they were all of
a certain age, though,
weren't they?
114
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,695
Sorry, do you realise
you said that out loud?
115
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,064
Hmm?
116
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,100
"A certain age"?
What, do you mean our age?
117
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,202
- That is the most...
- Shazzer now hosts
118
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,804
a podcast calledFed Up,
119
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,606
in which she has dinner
with minor celebrities
120
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,142
while basically getting furious
about everything.
121
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,210
...sexist fucking universe
we, unbelievably,
122
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,047
still continue
to fucking inhabit.
123
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,687
I need to go to the toilet.
124
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,121
Oh.
125
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,190
Oh, dear.
126
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,261
Yeah, Jude.
Yeah, I'm with her now.
127
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,997
Well, Shaz, tell her
to come to The Golden Cock.
128
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,300
No, no, no. The party.
It's for Mark.
129
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,969
That's not a party.
That's a fucking bin fire.
130
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,839
And you think that Mark
would want you to stay here
and be insulted
131
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,108
in the fucking sexism Olympics?
132
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,010
To Mark.
133
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,244
- And to Bridget...
- Aw.
134
00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,746
...and the rare pleasure
of seeing you
135
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,247
-in something not made
of terry towelling.
136
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,283
Tom, still living
137
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,919
handsomely off
his one hit single
138
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:10,290
which had a comeback recently
in a 30-second video of
a dog doing maths.
139
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,226
Now, of all things,
a life coach.
140
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,995
Honestly, I'd say it was
a bit of a breakthrough,
141
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,164
speaking as your psychologist.
142
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,933
You're not my psychologist.
143
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,801
Well, I should be, yes.
144
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,570
According to the classic model,
145
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,772
you've actually made it
to the fourth stage
146
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,609
-of the five stages of grief.
-Wait. Isn't it seven stages?
147
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,145
What are you talking about,
Jude? No, it isn't.
It's five stages.
148
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,180
-Isn't it five?
-Well, I always thought
it was four.
149
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:35,815
It's definitely seven.
150
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,151
Jude, now CEO or COO
151
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,987
or CTO,
definitely a C-something-O,
152
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,624
still regularly calling,
in tears,
from executive bathroom.
153
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:48,028
So, um, only one stage to
go now, Bridge.
154
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,330
- Oh.
- Stage five.
155
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,932
It's acceptance,
which basically means
156
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,169
-you just have to get laid.
-Oh, my God. Shazzer's right.
157
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,239
Yes. I mean, honestly, darling,
look at yourself.
158
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,641
You've become
a born-again virgin.
159
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:05,045
If you don't get laid soon,
your vagina will literally
reseal itself.
160
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,047
Yeah, and that is
a thing.
161
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,316
It's called labial adhesion.
162
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,985
Oh, my God!
163
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,188
I knew leaving the kitchen was
a mistake.
164
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,990
I don't want anyone else.
165
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,725
And even if I did,
which I don't,
166
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,928
I'm non-viable,
completely asexual,
167
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,030
and nobody will
ever fancy me again.
168
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,799
-Ever, ever, ever.
-No. No, no, no.
169
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,701
And I'm going to the toilet.
170
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,004
Crash and burn.
That was a disaster.
171
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,205
Well, that was
a fucking disaster.
172
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,778
Crikey. Have we been burgled?
173
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,014
We have not
been burgled, Jones. No.
174
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,283
We have been marvellous.
Now, tell me this.
175
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,821
For Tonya, do we think a kitten
heel or a chunky wedge?
176
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:48,822
She's going to Wimbledon.
177
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,690
Wedge, obviously.
178
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,325
You may be right.
179
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,828
How was it? Any fun? Any tongue?
180
00:09:54,861 --> 00:09:58,965
Ugh. God. No tongue.
I have hung up my tongue.
181
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,767
How were they?
182
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,335
Well, the girl is you.
183
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:06,706
Lawless, romantic,
irresistibly drawn to me.
184
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:08,708
Asked me if I was going
to be her new daddy.
185
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,243
She does that.
186
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,680
Yeah. Wouldn't go to bed
until I'd married her rabbit.
187
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,016
- Hmm.
- -Which I was very happy to do.
188
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,984
That rabbit is not
at all unfanciable.
189
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,386
Hmm.
And Billy?
190
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,955
Well, Billy is Darcy, isn't he?
191
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:24,357
Still waters and all that.
192
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,726
As it happens, Jones, your son
193
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,062
and I have a number
of shared interests.
194
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,398
Oh, God. Like what?
195
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,766
Models.
196
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,768
He showed me his,
I showed him mine.
197
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,704
-Hmm.
-And then we--
we talked about death.
198
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:38,738
Did you?
199
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,774
Yeah.
I told him being dead was shit.
200
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,176
And that I should know
because I was for a bit.
201
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,844
And then, uh...
202
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,781
I gave him a hug
'cause he seemed a bit sad.
203
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,450
And then that made me sad
because...
204
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,152
How is your boy?
205
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,254
Enzo's, what? He's...
206
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,356
Uh, fuck knows, Jones.
Fifteen, I think.
207
00:10:56,389 --> 00:11:01,294
Anyway, we then cheered
ourselves up by digging out
the cocktail shaker,
208
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,263
and I taught him how
to make a Dirty Bitch.
209
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,864
Saved it for you.
It's in the fridge.
210
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,200
Goody. Have it for breakfast.
211
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,302
Yeah, hello, hello,
hello, hello.
212
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,904
Geminita.
213
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,206
Yeah, we're all done. All done.
I'm on my way.
214
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,242
Well, as quick as I can.
215
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:20,013
Yes, like naughty old moth
to eager young flame.
216
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,482
No, you hang up first.
217
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,318
And-- OK, kiss you back.
218
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,189
Yeah, OK. Louder.
Yeah.
219
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,057
Oh, my God.
220
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,496
Fuck off, Jones.
OK, they're asleep.
221
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,932
Um...
...it did take a bit of time.
222
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,067
But I-- Actually I showed them
a video of Geminita
223
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,970
reciting one of her prose poems
and they were out like a light.
224
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,807
All right.
225
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:52,212
What happens now?
226
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,081
I'm trying to remember how it
worked with our babysitters.
227
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,952
I think you give me 20 quid
and try and shag me, don't you?
228
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:02,255
Ah, Daniel,
dear Daniel.
229
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:04,991
At least some things
never change.
230
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,361
It makes me sad though, Jones.
You know...
231
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:13,433
two children and you all alone
and effectively a nun.
232
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,803
Albeit, of course,
a very, very naughty nun.
233
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,243
Bye, Daniel.
234
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,411
Yeah.
235
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,946
Thanks for tonight.
236
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,014
Yeah.
237
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,522
Why are these lights
still on?
238
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,857
I thought you two were asleep.
239
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,261
Do you miss Dada sometimes?
240
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,396
I miss him all of the times.
241
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,237
There's my owl.
242
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,139
Back to bed. Come on.
243
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,408
- Story, Mama?
- Mm-hmm.
244
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:06,553
For the baby princess is
as kind as she is fair.
245
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:13,426
And the baby prince is as gentle
as he is handsome.
246
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,597
And wherever they go
and whatever they do,
247
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,301
Mummy and Daddy
will always love them.
248
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:26,006
And Saliva.
249
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:29,142
She stinks, Mabes.
250
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:31,211
Oh!
251
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,986
-Good night, darling.
-Good night, Mama.
252
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:47,994
Good night.
253
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,498
And all the thoughts...
254
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,071
And all the thoughts
are going away.
255
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:02,475
They don't need little Billy
and Mabel tonight.
256
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,912
The world
will turn without them.
257
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:09,015
The stars
will shine without them.
258
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:15,422
And all little Billy and Mabel
need to do is rest and sleep.
259
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,391
Good night.
260
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,193
Night.
261
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,966
Good night, Billy.
262
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,669
- Do the song, Daddy. Please.
- OK.
263
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:35,075
♪ I'll do anything
For you, dear♪
264
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,576
♪ Anything♪
265
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:41,548
♪ For you mean everything
To me♪
266
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,489
All by myself 47.
267
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:52,959
Shitballs.
268
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:59,032
No. Cock-bollocking
fuck-bubbles!
269
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,138
Literally everyone
else in the whole country
270
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,507
is laughing uproariously
with their partners
271
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,410
while watching Netflix
and having sex.
272
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,712
You don't want to wallow in it,
darling.
273
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,281
And there they are again.
274
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,351
All the voices, all the advice.
275
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,353
You gotta wallow in it, Bridge.
Wallow.
276
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:24,424
Grieve. G-R-E-I-V-E.
277
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:27,761
It's I-E. It's not E-I.
278
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:31,431
No, it's, "I before E
except after C."
279
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,033
Yes, exactly.
280
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:36,302
God, you really are such
a T-W-T-A.
281
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,737
A what?
282
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,639
The thing about advice is,
283
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:43,510
no one tells you
the same thing twice.
284
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,646
Bridget, you've got
to put the children first.
285
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,383
Uh-huh. Thank you,
Magda. Yes.
286
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,219
Put the children first.
287
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,454
Sod the children.
288
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,424
Put your own oxygen mask
on first.
289
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,326
Right. Oxygen mask.
290
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,594
Got it.
291
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,530
One thing's for certain, Bridge.
292
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,166
Forget about sex.
Oh.
293
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,734
OK.
294
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,602
No sex.
295
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,604
You need to have a lot of sex.
296
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,774
Yeah. Why don't you come back
to work?
297
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:18,778
Thank you, Richard.
I'll bear that in mind.
298
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,527
But as my dad said
just before he died,
299
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,464
the big question is...
300
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,532
Can you survive?
301
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:43,536
I think so.
302
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,805
I have to.
303
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,142
I'm trying.
304
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,814
It's not enough to survive.
You've got to live.
305
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,351
Is that the Dalai Lama?
306
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,254
It's Harry Styles, I think.
307
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,689
Colin.
308
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,392
-Is that a sausage?
-What sausage?
309
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:09,195
Bridget, you know what
the doctor said
about saturated fats.
310
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:13,299
Pam, could you take a photograph
of us? Me and Bridget.
311
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,104
Um...
312
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,709
Colin, try not to do that with
your chin.
313
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,644
I'm not doing anything with
my chin.
314
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,584
Promise me you'll live, Bridget.
315
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,188
Smile!
316
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,285
Bridget Jones,
it's time to live.
317
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,690
♪ I know when to go out♪
318
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,292
♪ Know when to stay in♪
319
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,862
♪ Get things done♪
320
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,368
♪ I catch a paper boy♪
321
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,538
♪ But things
Don't really change♪
322
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,740
♪ I'm standing in the wind♪
323
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,443
♪ But I never wave bye-bye♪
324
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,448
♪ But I try♪
325
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,217
♪ I try♪
326
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:15,855
♪ Never gonna fall for♪
327
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:16,923
♪ Modern love♪
328
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,692
♪ Walks beside me♪
329
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,793
♪ Modern love♪
330
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,394
♪ Walks on by♪
331
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,495
♪ Modern love♪
332
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,596
♪ Gets me to♪
333
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,599
♪ The church on time♪
334
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:27,801
♪ Church on time♪
335
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,502
♪ Terrifies me♪
336
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,537
♪ Church on time♪
337
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,738
♪ Makes me party♪
338
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,273
♪ Church on time♪
339
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,876
♪ Puts my trust in God and man♪
340
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,411
♪ God and man♪
341
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,612
♪ No confession♪
342
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:40,814
♪ God and man♪
343
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,415
♪ No religion♪
344
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,750
♪ God and man♪
345
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:47,420
♪ Don't believe in modern love♪
346
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,725
♪ It's not really work♪
347
00:20:25,759 --> 00:20:27,827
♪ It's just the power to charm♪
348
00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:30,697
♪ I'm still standing in
The wind♪
349
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,566
♪ But I never wave bye-bye♪
350
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:38,405
♪ But I try♪
351
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,007
♪ I try♪
352
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,944
♪ Never gonna fall for♪
353
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:46,613
♪ Modern love♪
354
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,847
♪ Walks beside me♪
355
00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:49,349
♪ Modern love♪
356
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,483
♪ Walks on by♪
357
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,584
♪ Modern love♪
358
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,653
♪ Gets me to the church♪
359
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,488
♪ On time♪
360
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,856
♪ Modern love...♪
361
00:20:56,890 --> 00:20:58,658
Right.
You've got your pencil case,
362
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,527
your lunch, your homework?
363
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,928
- Your keys?
- Ooh.
364
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:04,030
Well,
365
00:21:04,064 --> 00:21:06,866
you've definitely got your
recorder so that's good.
366
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:09,502
Your lovely picture of
a spaceship.
367
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,438
It's a cat.
368
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,507
Oh, yes.
Of course it is, darling.
369
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,809
What paints did you use?
370
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:18,712
I used the lipsticks with
the C's on them.
371
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,480
-Oh. So creative.
-Handbag?
372
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,948
Oh, fuck a duck.
373
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,516
Hello, Billy.
374
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:24,651
Morning.
375
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,453
Hello, Mabel.
376
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,454
Morning, Bridget.
377
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,555
Hi.
378
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:29,956
Just the usual crap.
379
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,625
Are you going to be
my new daddy?
380
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,663
- No, Mum!
- No! Mum!
381
00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:37,864
When I signed up
for having children,
382
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,532
I did not sign up
to be ruled by
383
00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:41,468
a gaggle of computer crackheads.
384
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,769
Well, guess what?
385
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,904
I've had you,
I've brought you up,
386
00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:47,073
and I've changed my mind!
387
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:50,810
No!
No, no, no!
388
00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:53,813
Don't you touch those
or I'll fucking enter you
in Squid Game.
389
00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:54,881
Here, darling.
390
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,716
-Come, come.
-Mum!
391
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:58,451
Why don't we ever say hello?
392
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,087
Oh.
Important life lesson, darling.
393
00:22:01,121 --> 00:22:03,456
Never meet your heroes.
394
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:10,997
Starting today,
will not set things on fire,
395
00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:15,168
will responsibly reset
passwords not to include
the word "fuckwit,"
396
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,838
and will not be frightened
of the school mums...
397
00:22:18,872 --> 00:22:20,473
Hi.
398
00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:23,977
...in particular,
Perfect Nicolette...
399
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:27,881
...with her perfect twins.
400
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:32,819
Move the car! There's no parking
in front of the school.
401
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,654
-How are you?
-What?
402
00:22:34,688 --> 00:22:36,823
I-I thought you were in LA.
403
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,993
-Right.
-Mr Walliker?
404
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,029
Mr Walliker, Eros tells me
he hasn't been selected for
the choir for some reason.
405
00:22:43,063 --> 00:22:45,065
-Correct.
-Well, how can that be?
406
00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:47,567
Because he can't sing.
Anything else,
Mrs Soltani-Watkins?
407
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,570
Mr Walliker, if you have failed
to recognise
Eros's obvious talents,
408
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,472
-that's hardly his fault.
-It's really quite simple.
409
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:55,075
The choir, like everything else
in nature, is chosen on merit.
410
00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:57,477
Yeah, natural selection.
411
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,879
If Eros wants
to put in the work,
he's welcome to audition again.
412
00:22:59,913 --> 00:23:01,881
If you'll excuse me.
Bike!
413
00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:03,683
Bike! Not there. Not there.
414
00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:05,051
Who's that?
415
00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,153
Oh. New science teacher.
Mr Walliker.
416
00:23:07,187 --> 00:23:08,688
Instant hero.
417
00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,490
Unbelievably rude.
418
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:11,758
He's awful.
419
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:14,127
Move along, please. Right away!
420
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:18,498
You two! This isn't a stroll on
the heath.
421
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:22,168
You don't see me unfolding
deck chairs and unwrapping
sandwiches, do you?
422
00:23:22,202 --> 00:23:25,038
Move it inside!
It's choir in eight minutes.
423
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,741
Mr Walliker. Hello.
424
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,042
I don't believe we've met.
425
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,610
I'm Billy Darcy's mum.
426
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,113
The boy about to be diagnosed
with tinnitus.
427
00:23:33,146 --> 00:23:35,648
The whistle is
an essential tool, Mrs Darcy.
428
00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:37,884
Mmm. An essential tool?
429
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,220
What an apt description.
430
00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:44,190
Eros! Atticus!
431
00:23:44,224 --> 00:23:47,060
If you're late,
you will regret it for
the rest of your days.
432
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:48,495
Sorry, sir!
433
00:23:55,535 --> 00:23:56,236
No!
434
00:23:57,237 --> 00:23:58,838
She'll be back later.
435
00:23:58,872 --> 00:24:00,073
We have a doctor's appointment.
436
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,741
I've got worms!
437
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:05,111
Why is your granny
wearing pyjamas?
438
00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,715
That went well.
439
00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,586
"G-O-N-O"--
440
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,221
That's lovely, darling.
441
00:24:15,255 --> 00:24:17,057
-"R-H"...
-There you go.
442
00:24:17,090 --> 00:24:18,958
One tablet a day for
the entire family,
443
00:24:18,992 --> 00:24:22,195
and if her itching doesn't stop,
I suggest you get rid of
that cat.
444
00:24:22,228 --> 00:24:24,564
Have you got some help yet?
445
00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:26,599
I know it doesn't look it,
but really,
446
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,035
-I've got it all in hand.
-No, it doesn't look it.
447
00:24:29,069 --> 00:24:32,272
Apart from anything else,
I'm a gynaecologist,
not a paediatrician.
448
00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:35,975
And whilst I'm happy to step in,
you do take my point.
449
00:24:36,009 --> 00:24:39,713
If you say "oxygen mask"
to me again, I will hit you
with this handbag.
450
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:41,047
I am not afraid of handbags.
451
00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:43,183
You need something else to do.
452
00:24:43,216 --> 00:24:45,618
You need a reason
to get out of those pyjamas.
453
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:47,721
Well, fashion's never
really been your thing.
454
00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:49,856
-Rude.
-Pyjamas are all the rage
in Milan.
455
00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:53,193
Bridget, in spite of
all objective evidence to
the contrary,
456
00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:55,195
you are a bright, talented,
brilliant woman.
457
00:24:55,228 --> 00:24:57,731
And my professional advice
to you is this.
458
00:24:57,764 --> 00:24:59,032
-You need--
-No. No, no, no.
459
00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:00,700
Please don't tell me to go
and have sex.
460
00:25:00,734 --> 00:25:01,935
Oh, good Lord, no.
461
00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:04,070
No.
462
00:25:04,104 --> 00:25:06,606
Read a book.
Clean out the kitchen drawers.
463
00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:08,875
Leave the pink bits
well enough alone.
464
00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:10,143
You'll be ready when
you're ready.
465
00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:12,946
No, my professional advice
to you is this:
466
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:15,281
go back to work.
467
00:25:15,315 --> 00:25:17,050
And how's your love life?
468
00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,652
On fire.
469
00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:23,123
"Sy-P-Lis."
470
00:25:26,126 --> 00:25:29,696
- Mmm.
- Syphilis. Mabel, Syphilis.
471
00:25:29,729 --> 00:25:30,830
Syphilis.
472
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:33,099
Mmm. Very good. Very good.
473
00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:36,169
And there's
some delicious vegetarian
alternatives here too.
474
00:25:38,038 --> 00:25:40,807
Floods, fires and famine.
475
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,810
As the world teeters on
the edge
of climate catastrophe,
476
00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,646
sausages aren't the only thing
we are grilling today.
477
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,316
Environment Secretary
Sarah Givens
joins us after the break.
478
00:25:54,688 --> 00:25:55,955
Hi.
479
00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:57,057
Oh, thank God you picked up.
480
00:25:57,090 --> 00:25:59,059
What's the matter?
481
00:25:59,092 --> 00:26:01,661
They've got the bloody
Environment Secretary on
in 45 seconds
482
00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:04,364
and they've got me asking
her questions about
bloody tea bags.
483
00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:06,666
"What's the best way to recycle
tea bags?"
484
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:08,702
"Can you clean surfaces
with tea"...
485
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:09,736
I need you, Bridget!
486
00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:11,671
OK. Uh...
487
00:26:11,705 --> 00:26:13,373
Ask her...
488
00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:15,742
Ask her why there were
no tax breaks
for renewable energy
489
00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,644
-in last week's budget.
-Brilliant.
490
00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:20,180
She'll fob you off with some
crap about economic constraints
491
00:26:20,213 --> 00:26:24,284
and then you nail her on oil
and gas companies ring-fencing
their profits.
492
00:26:24,317 --> 00:26:26,886
- Yes, I do.
- She'll flap!
493
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,690
And then you nuke her arse
on the government's support
for fracking.
494
00:26:30,724 --> 00:26:31,825
Ooh.
495
00:26:31,858 --> 00:26:33,760
I fracking love you,
Bridget Jones.
496
00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:35,362
-Hi, Bridge.
-Yes!
497
00:26:35,395 --> 00:26:39,199
Oh, oh, oh! Do try to find out
about the tea bags though.
498
00:26:39,232 --> 00:26:41,167
- Love you. Bye. Bye.
- Love you. Bye!
499
00:26:43,169 --> 00:26:44,704
Welcome back.
500
00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:46,106
Our next guest is
501
00:26:46,139 --> 00:26:48,241
Environment Secretary
Sarah Givens.
502
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:53,046
Sarah, budget,
tax breaks, fracking.
503
00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:55,015
Justify.
504
00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:56,416
And no fob-off!
505
00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,056
Could you please put me through
to Richard Finch's office?
506
00:27:03,089 --> 00:27:05,158
My name's Bridget Jones.
507
00:27:06,092 --> 00:27:08,428
Yeah. I'll hold. Thanks.
508
00:27:24,444 --> 00:27:26,880
Billy,
I want to watch SpongeBob.
509
00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,482
Billy, come off that, please.
510
00:27:29,516 --> 00:27:31,184
You've had your screen time.
511
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,987
One, two...
512
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,422
But, Mummy, it's Sunday.
513
00:27:35,455 --> 00:27:36,322
No.
514
00:27:36,356 --> 00:27:37,424
Can I watch SpongeBob?
515
00:27:37,457 --> 00:27:40,160
May I watch SpongeBob.
516
00:27:40,193 --> 00:27:41,761
Yes?
517
00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:43,997
No, you've got to say,
"may I," not "can I."
518
00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,165
May I watch SpongeBob?
519
00:27:45,198 --> 00:27:47,767
-No.
-But, Mummy!
520
00:27:47,801 --> 00:27:49,336
No, no, no, no.
521
00:27:49,369 --> 00:27:52,005
No more screens, either of you.
522
00:27:52,038 --> 00:27:54,407
Screens have been
proven to shorten
attention spans and...
523
00:27:54,441 --> 00:27:56,109
Ooh!
524
00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:57,944
No.
525
00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:00,113
Will you come and practise
cricket with me in the garden?
526
00:28:00,146 --> 00:28:02,782
Mummy really needs
to work, darling.
Why don't you play with Mabel?
527
00:28:02,816 --> 00:28:05,752
She refuses to hit the ball.
She says she feels sorry
for Ball-y.
528
00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:07,320
Ball-y.
529
00:28:07,354 --> 00:28:08,988
Darling, please go and play
cricket with Billy.
530
00:28:09,022 --> 00:28:10,957
I may not!
531
00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:23,036
Is it too much to ask
to get some bloody peace all
by my bloody self
532
00:28:23,069 --> 00:28:24,971
for five bloody minutes?
533
00:28:25,005 --> 00:28:26,506
Internet's down!
534
00:28:26,539 --> 00:28:28,308
I want to watch SpongeBob.
535
00:28:28,341 --> 00:28:30,477
Tell Billy it's my turn.
536
00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:34,247
- Mummy!
- I don't want to be a mummy right now.
537
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,949
You had it for ages!
538
00:28:35,982 --> 00:28:38,485
I didn't even
have it today. It's my turn!
539
00:28:38,518 --> 00:28:40,086
Mummy!
540
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,388
There's no Internet!
541
00:28:41,421 --> 00:28:44,224
I just want to sit down
542
00:28:44,257 --> 00:28:48,862
in echoing silence on my own
for one moment.
543
00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:51,364
- Mummy! Mummy!
- Just shut up!
544
00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:03,243
Shark bait!
545
00:29:03,276 --> 00:29:04,477
Come and get it!
546
00:29:06,279 --> 00:29:07,814
Okay. You asked for it!
547
00:29:07,847 --> 00:29:09,082
Miranda?
548
00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:10,383
All right, Bridge?
549
00:29:10,417 --> 00:29:12,585
What're you doing here?
550
00:29:12,619 --> 00:29:15,855
So I was reading the newspaper
in Soho House
551
00:29:15,889 --> 00:29:20,126
and it was so, so quiet,
you know?
552
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,529
I just miss all this.
553
00:29:22,562 --> 00:29:28,301
Off milk, stuff, clutter,
children, life.
554
00:29:28,335 --> 00:29:30,003
Plenty of that here.
555
00:29:30,036 --> 00:29:31,271
You don't have any champagne.
556
00:29:31,304 --> 00:29:33,139
Top tip:
557
00:29:33,173 --> 00:29:36,343
always keep a cold bottle
of champagne
558
00:29:36,376 --> 00:29:38,378
in the fridge for emergencies.
559
00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,214
That's excellent advice.
560
00:29:41,247 --> 00:29:42,449
Cards on the table,
561
00:29:42,482 --> 00:29:45,952
I'm thinking
of unfreezing my eggs.
562
00:29:45,985 --> 00:29:49,089
Apparently,
everyone is going to Denmark
563
00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:50,256
to get sperm.
564
00:29:50,290 --> 00:29:51,591
-Oh.
-Yeah.
565
00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:54,994
But I want what you have.
All of this.
566
00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:59,232
But Soho House and-and Sunday
papers and cold champagne--
567
00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:00,600
You're free, Bridge.
568
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,903
You're liberated from
the tyranny of this.
569
00:30:03,937 --> 00:30:07,173
Do you know how many
dating apps I use?
570
00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:08,408
Could you look sexy?
571
00:30:08,441 --> 00:30:10,043
Well, I mean...
572
00:30:10,076 --> 00:30:13,446
I might still brush up OK
given enough time.
573
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:14,914
No, I mean for this photo.
574
00:30:16,082 --> 00:30:17,250
I've set you up on Tinder.
575
00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:19,185
-What?
-You're welcome.
576
00:30:19,219 --> 00:30:21,454
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
-Well, I've popped you down as
a widow.
577
00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:23,456
It's so much more romantic
and singular.
578
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:26,359
We all agree it's what you need.
579
00:30:26,393 --> 00:30:28,928
What's Tinder?
580
00:30:28,962 --> 00:30:30,196
It's...
581
00:30:30,230 --> 00:30:33,233
such a lovely day.
582
00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:36,936
Who wants to, um,
go to the heath?
583
00:30:36,970 --> 00:30:39,239
-No, I don't wanna go!
-No, SpongeBob!
584
00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:41,608
Oh, OK. That's no problem.
585
00:30:41,641 --> 00:30:43,109
Uh, sure.
586
00:30:43,143 --> 00:30:44,678
Um, you stay here,
587
00:30:44,711 --> 00:30:50,383
and I'll just, uh, take these
chocolate buttons. Ooh!
588
00:30:50,417 --> 00:30:53,620
-Let's go, nutters!
-Can't wait!
589
00:30:53,653 --> 00:30:56,089
Children and fresh air
and white chocolate buttons.
590
00:30:56,122 --> 00:30:58,591
I feel like Julie Andrews!
591
00:30:58,625 --> 00:31:00,493
Oh! I just got matched
with someone.
592
00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,228
Sorry, Mabel, could you just
get off, actually,
593
00:31:02,262 --> 00:31:03,563
'cause you're killing my back.
594
00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:07,467
Uh, he's on a street corner...
in a van.
595
00:31:09,736 --> 00:31:12,372
-He looks like Jason Statham...
-Mmm.
596
00:31:12,405 --> 00:31:14,174
...if you squint.
597
00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:15,508
In a bit, Bridge.
598
00:31:15,542 --> 00:31:17,110
Bye, kids. See you.
599
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:18,645
- Bye!
- Bye.
600
00:31:24,317 --> 00:31:28,688
Oh, how everything
calms down once you're outside
in blue skies
601
00:31:28,722 --> 00:31:32,392
turning the children into
biddable lemurs.
602
00:31:32,425 --> 00:31:36,496
Will obviously
delete Tinder immediately.
603
00:31:36,529 --> 00:31:38,698
But perhaps
a very quick look first.
604
00:31:44,704 --> 00:31:45,672
Keith?
605
00:31:46,573 --> 00:31:48,575
Who are you, Keith?
606
00:31:51,111 --> 00:31:55,415
Feel suddenly exposed
to whole new world hiding
in plain sight
607
00:31:55,448 --> 00:31:57,350
like Narnia through back
of wardrobe,
608
00:31:57,384 --> 00:32:00,086
but with lion
and witch shagging.
609
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,989
Mummy!
Mabel's stuck up the tree!
610
00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:05,158
- How'd she get up there?
- Mummy!
611
00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:06,192
Coming!
612
00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:11,698
Okay.
613
00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:14,134
No, it's... it's all right.
614
00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:17,137
- I can't get down either.
- It's all right. I'm here.
615
00:32:18,371 --> 00:32:19,439
Uh.
616
00:32:19,472 --> 00:32:21,441
Billy. Is that you?
617
00:32:21,474 --> 00:32:23,510
Oh, no. It's Mr Walliker.
618
00:32:23,543 --> 00:32:25,478
Everything all right, Mrs Darcy?
619
00:32:25,512 --> 00:32:28,381
Yep. Super.
620
00:32:28,415 --> 00:32:30,050
Just climbing a tree.
621
00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:32,052
I can see that.
622
00:32:32,085 --> 00:32:32,752
Having fun?
623
00:32:32,786 --> 00:32:35,221
Yes. Yeah, this is really fun.
624
00:32:37,824 --> 00:32:40,193
-You sure you don't need a hand?
-No, no.
625
00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:41,728
As Einstein said,
626
00:32:41,761 --> 00:32:45,231
"What goes up must come down."
627
00:32:45,265 --> 00:32:47,067
-Newton.
-Yes.
628
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:49,202
Newton.
629
00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:50,570
We're going to die!
630
00:32:50,603 --> 00:32:53,206
No, we're not going to die.
We're having fun.
631
00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:55,475
We are definitely
going to die.
632
00:32:55,508 --> 00:32:57,777
Clearly you've got this
nicely in hand.
633
00:32:58,745 --> 00:33:00,714
Look, there's a policeman.
634
00:33:04,351 --> 00:33:05,685
Oh, my God.
635
00:33:05,719 --> 00:33:08,054
I've climbed
a magical man tree.
636
00:33:09,122 --> 00:33:10,290
- Are you stuck?
- Yes!
637
00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:12,092
No.
638
00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:14,527
-Do they need help?
-Apparently not.
639
00:33:16,262 --> 00:33:18,298
So, I'll... I'll be off then.
640
00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:20,066
Bye-bye.
641
00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:25,372
Okay. I'll be off too.
642
00:33:25,405 --> 00:33:27,540
Don't go away.
643
00:33:27,574 --> 00:33:29,642
No, seriously.
Don't go away.
644
00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:32,212
Hang on. I'm coming.
645
00:33:33,313 --> 00:33:34,414
Okay. Coming up.
646
00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,284
Uh...
647
00:33:38,318 --> 00:33:40,120
Hello.
648
00:33:40,153 --> 00:33:42,055
Okay, just... Hang on.
649
00:33:47,227 --> 00:33:48,194
Hello.
650
00:33:48,228 --> 00:33:49,396
Hi, mate.
651
00:33:49,429 --> 00:33:50,697
-Hi, what's your name?
-Mabel.
652
00:33:50,730 --> 00:33:52,866
-Mabel.
-I can't jump down.
653
00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:56,302
Okay. Well, you sit down there.
654
00:33:56,336 --> 00:33:59,172
You get comfy, and I'm gonna go
down there and catch you, OK?
655
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,409
-Okay, you ready?
-Yeah.
656
00:34:02,442 --> 00:34:04,310
Three, two, one, go!
657
00:34:04,344 --> 00:34:07,280
- I did it!
-I've got you.
Well done.
658
00:34:07,313 --> 00:34:08,848
All right, big man. Your turn.
659
00:34:08,882 --> 00:34:11,751
Okay. You got this, mate.
There we go.
660
00:34:11,785 --> 00:34:13,153
- Next foot.
- That's it, darling.
661
00:34:13,186 --> 00:34:15,422
And I've got you.
662
00:34:15,455 --> 00:34:17,223
Okay, Mum.
663
00:34:17,257 --> 00:34:18,525
Okay.
664
00:34:18,558 --> 00:34:19,659
There we go.
665
00:34:19,693 --> 00:34:21,294
-Okay.
-Okay.
666
00:34:23,563 --> 00:34:25,198
- You all right?
- Yes.
667
00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:27,600
Yes.
668
00:34:28,368 --> 00:34:29,602
Okay.
669
00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:31,604
Thank you.
670
00:34:33,573 --> 00:34:35,175
Thank you.
671
00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:35,875
It's all right.
672
00:34:37,677 --> 00:34:40,313
Uh, I'm Roxby.
But you can call me Roxster.
673
00:34:41,414 --> 00:34:42,515
Bridget Jones.
674
00:34:42,549 --> 00:34:44,284
But you can call her Mummy.
675
00:34:44,317 --> 00:34:46,353
Hmm. Okay.
676
00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,188
Oh.
677
00:34:49,756 --> 00:34:50,857
I think this is yours.
678
00:34:53,493 --> 00:34:54,627
Thanks.
679
00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:57,864
Anything else I can help with?
680
00:34:57,897 --> 00:34:59,332
God, yes.
681
00:34:59,366 --> 00:35:00,367
No.
682
00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:02,802
Okay.
683
00:35:02,836 --> 00:35:05,205
It's nice to meet you, Roxy.
684
00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:06,906
It's Roxster.
685
00:35:09,376 --> 00:35:11,911
You too, Bridget Jones.
686
00:35:18,385 --> 00:35:21,254
Now obsessed
with tree-rescuing Adonis
687
00:35:21,287 --> 00:35:25,592
and reentering world
of flirting simultaneously
with workforce.
688
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:28,561
-Mrs Darcy.
-Mr Walliker.
689
00:35:28,595 --> 00:35:32,365
Weapon at the ready, I see.
690
00:35:32,399 --> 00:35:35,669
Good to see you managed
to extricate yourself from
that tree.
691
00:35:35,702 --> 00:35:38,238
Oh, yes.
It's the children's
favourite game.
692
00:35:38,271 --> 00:35:42,342
We're completely obsessed
with the outdoors in our house.
693
00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,311
Well, I'll have to put you down
for our Outward Bound trip
next term.
694
00:35:45,345 --> 00:35:46,780
Sounds like it'd be right up
your street.
695
00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:48,448
Fucking fuck.
696
00:35:48,481 --> 00:35:50,517
Yeah. Good.
697
00:35:50,550 --> 00:35:53,353
Do you have my slime?
I promised I'd show Cosmata.
698
00:35:55,355 --> 00:35:56,456
Oh.
699
00:35:58,992 --> 00:36:00,360
Hey, those are mine.
700
00:36:00,393 --> 00:36:01,795
Give them to me.
701
00:36:03,963 --> 00:36:07,400
They are actually hers.
702
00:36:07,434 --> 00:36:08,468
Well, in that case...
703
00:36:12,939 --> 00:36:14,708
Bridget!
704
00:36:14,741 --> 00:36:16,443
You're dressed properly.
705
00:36:17,277 --> 00:36:18,545
Odd.
706
00:36:18,578 --> 00:36:20,413
Heading to a meeting.
707
00:36:20,447 --> 00:36:22,816
Thinking about going back to
my old job.
708
00:36:22,849 --> 00:36:25,885
Oh, a job. Oh, I'll put you down
for Jobs Day then.
709
00:36:25,919 --> 00:36:27,687
Fucking fuckety fuck fuck.
710
00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:30,023
Yes, absolutely.
711
00:36:30,056 --> 00:36:32,959
Celestine,
merci. C'est gentil.
712
00:36:32,992 --> 00:36:35,428
Actually, do you mind
tidying this up a little bit?
713
00:36:35,462 --> 00:36:36,930
Sure.
714
00:36:36,963 --> 00:36:38,698
Uh, what about the children?
Do you have a nanny?
715
00:36:38,732 --> 00:36:40,033
Not yet.
716
00:36:40,066 --> 00:36:42,769
Oh, I've got the perfect person.
She's excellent.
717
00:36:42,802 --> 00:36:44,838
She's very pretty, but that
doesn't matter, Bridget,
718
00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:46,906
because you don't have
a husband,
719
00:36:46,940 --> 00:36:49,843
so it's absolutely immaterial
how pretty and perfect she is.
720
00:36:49,876 --> 00:36:51,978
-Sounds good.
-There we go.
721
00:36:52,012 --> 00:36:54,414
-Francesca.
-Sorry.
722
00:36:54,447 --> 00:36:55,749
Wonderful.
723
00:36:55,782 --> 00:36:57,851
It's nothing.
I just threw it together.
724
00:36:57,884 --> 00:36:59,386
Ah.
725
00:36:59,419 --> 00:37:01,354
Bridget? Your donation?
726
00:37:01,888 --> 00:37:03,423
You didn't forget?
727
00:37:03,456 --> 00:37:05,925
No.
728
00:37:05,959 --> 00:37:08,862
Certainly not.
729
00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:11,865
Uh, let's see.
730
00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:13,333
Here we are.
731
00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:16,536
Hummus.
732
00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,004
And, uh...
733
00:37:23,643 --> 00:37:25,745
Rice cakes.
734
00:37:25,779 --> 00:37:29,616
And look, they've even been
opened already.
735
00:37:30,950 --> 00:37:33,019
Lovely.
736
00:37:33,053 --> 00:37:36,656
Ah. Her name's Chloe,
and she'll be with you at 6:30.
737
00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:39,492
Raef! India! Get inside.
738
00:37:39,526 --> 00:37:40,927
That's enough chatting.
739
00:37:42,796 --> 00:37:44,064
Bridget Jones.
740
00:37:44,864 --> 00:37:46,066
Thank you.
741
00:38:17,831 --> 00:38:19,366
Four.
742
00:38:19,399 --> 00:38:20,100
Four.
743
00:38:34,714 --> 00:38:37,717
- Three.
- Three.
744
00:38:37,751 --> 00:38:39,652
Thank you.
745
00:38:41,821 --> 00:38:43,490
This is Bridget Jones
about to
746
00:38:43,523 --> 00:38:47,027
go into an actual
in-person meeting.
747
00:38:48,995 --> 00:38:51,498
-Brenda Jones?
-Oh, actually, it's--
748
00:38:51,531 --> 00:38:54,167
Bridget Jones, there you are.
Excellent. Quick, come with me.
749
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,436
-Thank you, Lizzie.
-Thanks.
750
00:38:57,837 --> 00:38:59,873
Good to see ya.
How have you been?
751
00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:02,809
You look hot.
752
00:39:02,842 --> 00:39:05,111
Oh. Thank you, Richard.
753
00:39:05,145 --> 00:39:08,481
But I think you'll find
that sort of language is
a little outmoded
754
00:39:08,515 --> 00:39:10,750
-in the workplace.
-No, I mean flustered.
755
00:39:10,784 --> 00:39:12,485
Are you going through the, uh,
you know?
756
00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:18,124
Bridget, let me introduce you
to Talitha.
757
00:39:18,158 --> 00:39:21,761
Richard, what am I
supposed to do with this, huh?
758
00:39:21,795 --> 00:39:23,596
Does it climb?
Does it stand on one leg?
759
00:39:23,630 --> 00:39:26,132
Does it do cartwheels?
It's a tortoise.
It doesn't do anything.
760
00:39:26,166 --> 00:39:28,635
He can't pull out.
Who the fuck does he think he is?
761
00:39:28,668 --> 00:39:30,670
Arrogant, self-important prick.
762
00:39:30,704 --> 00:39:33,907
Tell that selfish arsehole
he can rot in hell.
763
00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:35,809
The Dalai Lama's cancelled.
764
00:39:35,842 --> 00:39:37,877
Twat. Shit.
765
00:39:37,911 --> 00:39:40,980
Okay, we've got an hour
till we're on air.
766
00:39:41,014 --> 00:39:42,749
We need a replacement.
Let me make a call.
767
00:39:42,782 --> 00:39:44,050
I do Krav Maga with Fergie.
768
00:39:44,084 --> 00:39:45,819
Duchess or Black Eyed Pea?
769
00:39:45,852 --> 00:39:47,887
Duchess. She could be here
in 45.
770
00:39:47,921 --> 00:39:51,725
Talitha, meet Bridget Jones.
Best producer we've ever had.
771
00:39:51,758 --> 00:39:52,859
Oh.
772
00:39:52,892 --> 00:39:54,594
I'm sure you're very good too.
773
00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:55,762
Huge fan.
774
00:39:55,795 --> 00:39:56,996
Hold this.
775
00:39:57,030 --> 00:39:58,898
Loved your early work
from Chechnya.
776
00:39:58,932 --> 00:40:02,502
Now I'm doing features
on incontinent tortoises.
777
00:40:02,535 --> 00:40:03,770
Fergie.
778
00:40:03,803 --> 00:40:05,572
Are those glutes burning up?
779
00:40:05,605 --> 00:40:06,172
Hello.
780
00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,608
-Hey. Sorry.
-Right.
781
00:40:08,641 --> 00:40:12,012
Uh, right. Let's get rid
of this set, please, now!
782
00:40:12,045 --> 00:40:14,014
So, what do you think?
783
00:40:14,047 --> 00:40:15,782
Can we lure you back?
784
00:40:15,815 --> 00:40:17,784
Fergie's in.
785
00:40:17,817 --> 00:40:21,054
Does anyone know how
to get tortoise piss out
of silk?
786
00:40:21,087 --> 00:40:23,656
Blotting and mild detergent.
787
00:40:24,657 --> 00:40:25,992
When can I start?
788
00:40:28,294 --> 00:40:31,097
Am rejoining ranks
of London's employed
789
00:40:31,131 --> 00:40:34,801
and meaningfully contributing
to society.
790
00:40:34,834 --> 00:40:39,673
Can walk with head held high
and be role model
for Billy and Mabel,
791
00:40:39,706 --> 00:40:44,244
saving them from otherwise
certain future as alcoholic
wards of the state.
792
00:40:46,613 --> 00:40:49,616
It's super that
the television's invited
you back.
793
00:40:49,649 --> 00:40:52,052
Of course, I always stayed
at home when you were little.
794
00:40:52,085 --> 00:40:53,019
Classic Mum.
795
00:40:53,053 --> 00:40:54,688
Can't really talk, Mum.
796
00:40:54,721 --> 00:40:56,856
I've got to tidy up
before the nanny gets here.
797
00:40:56,890 --> 00:40:58,224
A nanny? Really?
798
00:40:58,258 --> 00:41:01,861
Mummy doesn't love us anymore.
Ow!
799
00:41:01,895 --> 00:41:04,731
Ever since Mum
and Una moved
into Audsley House,
800
00:41:04,764 --> 00:41:07,267
the retirement home
we have to pretend is a hotel,
801
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:09,102
the phone calls
have been the same.
802
00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:11,771
Any men on the horizon,
Bridget?
803
00:41:11,805 --> 00:41:14,874
Well, there's got to
be someone. Some people
don't mind a widow.
804
00:41:14,908 --> 00:41:16,576
Stings a bit.
805
00:41:16,609 --> 00:41:18,578
Beggars can't
be choosers, Bridget.
806
00:41:18,611 --> 00:41:21,614
And now, look, we're in
the hotel kitchen
807
00:41:21,648 --> 00:41:24,284
doing salmon in the sous vide.
808
00:41:24,317 --> 00:41:26,619
I mean, it's basically
boil-in-the-bag,
809
00:41:26,653 --> 00:41:28,988
but everybody's doing it
these days.
810
00:41:29,022 --> 00:41:31,591
Roxster.
Definite development.
811
00:41:31,624 --> 00:41:33,126
Cooking's never really
been your thing.
812
00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:35,762
Oh, must go. Bye, Mum!
813
00:41:35,795 --> 00:41:36,796
Bye, bye.
814
00:41:36,830 --> 00:41:38,198
Oh, God, it's her.
815
00:41:40,967 --> 00:41:42,569
Hi, I'm Chloe.
816
00:41:43,703 --> 00:41:44,671
Hello.
817
00:41:46,172 --> 00:41:47,974
What the actual fuck?
818
00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:50,643
She looks like a film star.
819
00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:52,145
Chloe, this is Mabel.
820
00:41:52,178 --> 00:41:54,914
Look, I can play the recorder
with my nose.
821
00:41:56,716 --> 00:41:59,019
Children, this is Chloe.
822
00:41:59,052 --> 00:42:01,021
She's going to come
and help with everything.
823
00:42:01,054 --> 00:42:02,889
Nicolette mentioned it would
be a challenge,
824
00:42:02,922 --> 00:42:05,025
-but I've certainly seen worse.
-Oh.
825
00:42:05,058 --> 00:42:07,994
Oh, and this is Billy,
the science genius.
826
00:42:08,028 --> 00:42:11,898
Ooh, we mustn't
pigeonhole children.
It adds undue pressure.
827
00:42:11,931 --> 00:42:14,000
Have you read How To Raise
a Self-Driven Child?
828
00:42:14,034 --> 00:42:15,635
Oh, yes. It's-It's on my list,
829
00:42:15,669 --> 00:42:18,972
so do not spoil the ending.
830
00:42:19,005 --> 00:42:20,740
Oh, not to worry, Billy.
831
00:42:20,774 --> 00:42:22,676
It's not about the result.
It's about the journey.
832
00:42:22,709 --> 00:42:24,978
There's something to learn
whether you get an A or a C.
833
00:42:25,011 --> 00:42:28,314
Billy has never had
a C in...
834
00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:30,116
Who did this?
835
00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:32,185
Mr Walliker.
836
00:42:32,218 --> 00:42:35,722
I drew the earth
and the atmosphere,
and I put heaven over the top.
837
00:42:35,755 --> 00:42:38,892
And Mr Walliker said that heaven
was a religious construct.
838
00:42:38,925 --> 00:42:40,193
And he gave me a C.
839
00:42:40,226 --> 00:42:42,228
Well, Mr Walliker
840
00:42:42,262 --> 00:42:44,998
is a whistle-obsessed fascist
841
00:42:45,031 --> 00:42:48,234
with all the soul of
a non-stick wok.
842
00:42:48,268 --> 00:42:50,670
Where did you hide
the chocolate digestives?
843
00:42:50,704 --> 00:42:53,239
I didn't hide...
844
00:42:54,841 --> 00:42:55,875
...anything.
845
00:42:57,277 --> 00:43:00,180
Well, plenty to do here.
846
00:43:02,048 --> 00:43:04,684
♪ If my body was a boat
Could you steer that, sailor? ♪
847
00:43:04,718 --> 00:43:08,088
♪ Make it feel
Like it's a 1960s
Hollywood trailer...♪
848
00:43:08,121 --> 00:43:11,825
Consumed with guilt
re hideously perfect nanny,
849
00:43:11,858 --> 00:43:14,327
who children will obviously
come to love more than
hopeless mother
850
00:43:14,361 --> 00:43:16,262
without film star hair.
851
00:43:16,296 --> 00:43:18,965
♪ Ooh, it's what I need
Yes, 'cause♪
852
00:43:18,998 --> 00:43:23,136
♪ I could love you♪
853
00:43:23,169 --> 00:43:27,807
♪ If I really wanted to♪
854
00:43:27,841 --> 00:43:31,244
♪ You could be
Be my glass of wine♪
855
00:43:31,277 --> 00:43:33,913
♪ When the sun set
Help me exhale all the excess♪
856
00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:37,417
♪ Baby, bae, b-b-bae
B-b-baby, would you♪
857
00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:39,919
♪ Would you make it
all right?♪
858
00:43:39,953 --> 00:43:41,287
♪ Or maybe that much better?♪
859
00:43:41,321 --> 00:43:42,989
♪ If you wanted
You could make it♪
860
00:43:43,023 --> 00:43:45,125
♪ All worth it, worth it
Worth it, worth it♪
861
00:43:45,158 --> 00:43:50,130
♪ Ooh, when I see the sun rising
You make it that much better♪
862
00:43:50,163 --> 00:43:52,999
♪ So I hope you're gonna make it
All worth it, worth it...♪
863
00:43:53,033 --> 00:43:56,403
And texting Roxster
slowly became part of my life.
864
00:43:56,436 --> 00:44:00,473
A relationship
with no necessity
for actually meeting,
865
00:44:00,507 --> 00:44:04,811
or arrangements, or sex,
or any real life at all.
866
00:44:04,844 --> 00:44:08,982
In other words,
the perfect relationship.
867
00:44:09,015 --> 00:44:11,317
Is that the tree Adonis?
868
00:44:12,152 --> 00:44:14,387
Wait a minute.
869
00:44:14,421 --> 00:44:17,824
You wrote to him,
"How are you liking Tinder?"
870
00:44:17,857 --> 00:44:20,293
Inoffensive, neutral,
a bit dull.
871
00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:24,197
He replied, "Don't know,
only joined it to find you,
Bridget Jones."
872
00:44:25,265 --> 00:44:27,400
-Shag him now.
-Mm-mmm.
873
00:44:27,434 --> 00:44:30,270
Then he sent a smiley emoji
874
00:44:30,303 --> 00:44:34,207
and then you responded
with the flag of Greece,
875
00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:37,944
an abacus and a duck.
876
00:44:41,014 --> 00:44:42,115
I panicked.
877
00:44:42,148 --> 00:44:43,383
Thank you.
878
00:44:43,416 --> 00:44:45,318
Who's next?
879
00:44:45,352 --> 00:44:48,088
Do you want to go for a drink?
880
00:44:48,121 --> 00:44:50,323
I'm so flattered.
881
00:44:50,357 --> 00:44:52,859
Um, but I've got a boyfriend.
882
00:44:52,892 --> 00:44:56,796
Well, sort of got a boyfriend.
I think.
883
00:44:56,830 --> 00:45:00,033
Um, so nice of you to ask,
but, um...
884
00:45:01,368 --> 00:45:03,370
no, thank you.
885
00:45:03,403 --> 00:45:05,805
No, it's part of the meal deal.
886
00:45:09,209 --> 00:45:10,310
Well, this one's easy.
887
00:45:10,343 --> 00:45:13,113
You absolutely must go.
Obviously.
888
00:45:13,146 --> 00:45:16,516
But we've been texting for so
long now. I can't meet him.
889
00:45:16,549 --> 00:45:18,451
I mean, maybe it's like
in Jane Austen's day
890
00:45:18,485 --> 00:45:20,286
when they did letter writing
for months and months
891
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:21,955
and then suddenly
just got married.
892
00:45:21,988 --> 00:45:25,191
Bridget, sexting a man
that you just met in a park
893
00:45:25,225 --> 00:45:26,960
is nothing like
Jane Austen's day.
894
00:45:26,993 --> 00:45:29,829
-If you don't shag him, I will.
-I can't.
895
00:45:29,863 --> 00:45:33,199
There is no possibility
of being naked with a man
at this point in my life.
896
00:45:33,233 --> 00:45:35,402
You just need a little rebrand.
897
00:45:35,435 --> 00:45:37,103
You'll start by getting a slip.
898
00:45:37,137 --> 00:45:38,905
-A slip?
-Yeah, with a slip,
899
00:45:38,938 --> 00:45:41,374
you can show off your arms,
your legs, your décolletage,
900
00:45:41,408 --> 00:45:43,043
which are always the last to go.
901
00:45:43,076 --> 00:45:44,511
And keep the central area,
902
00:45:44,544 --> 00:45:47,414
which one might want to gloss
over, glossed over.
903
00:45:47,447 --> 00:45:48,982
And get a Brazilian.
904
00:45:49,015 --> 00:45:50,450
God, no.
905
00:45:50,483 --> 00:45:52,218
I like a bit
of coverage down there.
906
00:45:52,252 --> 00:45:54,120
Or run a comb through it
at least.
907
00:45:54,154 --> 00:45:56,222
But also, do get a Brazilian.
908
00:45:56,256 --> 00:45:58,024
Just dust it. Dust it down.
909
00:45:58,992 --> 00:46:00,460
Okay, I'll go!
910
00:46:00,493 --> 00:46:03,296
But I'm not going to sleep
with him.
911
00:46:04,931 --> 00:46:07,100
Are condoms
meant to be coloured?
912
00:46:07,133 --> 00:46:09,102
Is hypersensitive good?
913
00:46:09,135 --> 00:46:11,471
Large? Small? Oh.
914
00:46:11,504 --> 00:46:14,908
Maybe just purchase
a representative selection.
915
00:46:23,249 --> 00:46:24,317
Regular.
916
00:46:26,086 --> 00:46:27,420
Mmm, exotic flavours.
917
00:46:30,123 --> 00:46:31,224
Thin feel.
918
00:46:33,426 --> 00:46:34,894
Extra-large.
919
00:46:36,296 --> 00:46:37,597
Pleasure Me.
920
00:46:39,499 --> 00:46:41,401
Lube.
921
00:46:42,602 --> 00:46:44,337
Pleasure Me again.
922
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,016
Enjoy your weekend, Mrs Darcy.
923
00:47:05,058 --> 00:47:06,960
Hello, old friend.
924
00:47:15,135 --> 00:47:16,102
Hmm.
925
00:47:17,637 --> 00:47:18,938
Thanks for having
the kids tonight.
926
00:47:18,972 --> 00:47:20,440
Always a pleasure,
never a chore.
927
00:47:20,473 --> 00:47:21,908
I'll take them to
school in the morning.
928
00:47:21,941 --> 00:47:25,912
So you can stay out as late
as you want.
929
00:47:25,945 --> 00:47:28,048
Make up for four years of
no shagging.
930
00:47:28,081 --> 00:47:29,449
It's only a drink.
931
00:47:32,185 --> 00:47:33,987
Too see-through?
932
00:47:34,020 --> 00:47:36,222
Mmm. Definitely.
933
00:47:36,256 --> 00:47:37,457
OK.
934
00:47:38,992 --> 00:47:40,093
How about this?
935
00:47:42,228 --> 00:47:44,230
OK.
936
00:47:44,264 --> 00:47:46,499
The reality suddenly
completely terrifying,
937
00:47:46,533 --> 00:47:48,335
and Mark,
and insane and flabby.
938
00:47:48,368 --> 00:47:49,602
And oh, God, oh, God.
939
00:47:49,636 --> 00:47:50,970
I can't.
940
00:47:51,004 --> 00:47:52,972
-I really can't.
-Oh. What? What?
941
00:47:53,006 --> 00:47:56,009
-No, I just can't.
-Aw. Hey, you can.
942
00:47:56,042 --> 00:48:00,080
You just need to think of
it as widening your circle
of friends.
943
00:48:00,113 --> 00:48:01,181
That's all.
944
00:48:02,215 --> 00:48:03,950
Hmm?
945
00:48:03,983 --> 00:48:05,251
Come on.
946
00:48:05,285 --> 00:48:07,354
Put on the dress,
get out of here
947
00:48:07,387 --> 00:48:09,589
and widen your fucking circle.
948
00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:30,610
Oh, God. Look at him.
949
00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:32,612
What if he's perfect?
950
00:48:42,188 --> 00:48:43,156
Hello.
951
00:48:43,189 --> 00:48:44,124
Hi.
952
00:48:46,292 --> 00:48:50,163
There's a really great place
around here that's been here
for forever.
953
00:48:50,196 --> 00:48:51,564
Do you know this area at all?
954
00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:54,567
Mmm, I used to.
955
00:48:54,601 --> 00:48:58,171
Yeah, the, uh, Heath Ranger
thing is just a day job.
956
00:48:58,204 --> 00:49:01,007
And my real passion is garbage.
957
00:49:03,243 --> 00:49:04,444
Really?
958
00:49:04,477 --> 00:49:08,014
The technical term
is garbologist.
959
00:49:08,048 --> 00:49:11,384
I'm a biochemist.
Studying to be one.
960
00:49:11,418 --> 00:49:13,119
You're a student.
961
00:49:13,153 --> 00:49:15,355
A late-in-life one, anyway.
Yeah.
962
00:49:15,388 --> 00:49:17,323
How late?
963
00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:18,558
I'm 28.
964
00:49:19,526 --> 00:49:21,127
I'm just kidding.
965
00:49:21,161 --> 00:49:22,495
I'm 29.
966
00:49:23,029 --> 00:49:24,631
Fuck.
967
00:49:24,664 --> 00:49:27,300
Is he closer in age to me
or to Billy?
968
00:49:27,334 --> 00:49:28,568
What about you?
969
00:49:29,836 --> 00:49:31,237
You are...
970
00:49:31,271 --> 00:49:33,340
Slightly older.
971
00:49:33,373 --> 00:49:36,476
I'm gonna say 35-ish.
972
00:49:36,509 --> 00:49:38,078
Yes.
973
00:49:38,111 --> 00:49:39,112
Bull's-eye.
974
00:49:40,246 --> 00:49:41,648
Let's say 35.
975
00:49:41,681 --> 00:49:43,149
-Mmm. Thirty-five it is.
-Mm-hmm.
976
00:49:45,118 --> 00:49:46,619
Is 35 all right?
977
00:49:46,653 --> 00:49:48,555
I think older women,
978
00:49:48,588 --> 00:49:51,324
ever so slightly older women,
979
00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:54,094
have a wiser view on life.
980
00:49:54,127 --> 00:49:56,363
You know,
they're more experienced
981
00:49:56,396 --> 00:49:59,666
and more emotionally mature.
982
00:49:59,699 --> 00:50:01,534
Me in a nutshell.
983
00:50:01,568 --> 00:50:04,537
I find that very attractive.
984
00:50:27,327 --> 00:50:31,231
Oh, God.
I have no idea how any of this works anymore.
985
00:50:32,732 --> 00:50:34,601
Is it all right if I kiss you?
986
00:50:37,704 --> 00:50:40,807
Aw.
The generation who ask.
987
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,176
I think
that would be acceptable.
988
00:51:34,461 --> 00:51:36,596
Give me just one moment.
989
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,642
Oh, my God.
990
00:51:51,244 --> 00:51:52,846
What are you doing?
991
00:52:16,636 --> 00:52:19,773
♪ Put your hand down, boy♪
992
00:52:19,806 --> 00:52:22,942
♪ Welcome to my zoo♪
993
00:52:22,976 --> 00:52:26,546
♪ Put your head inside
My big, black wild while♪
994
00:52:26,579 --> 00:52:29,683
♪ I can still help you♪
995
00:52:29,716 --> 00:52:32,786
♪ See the snake-baboon♪
996
00:52:32,819 --> 00:52:35,922
♪ Funky, chic and smooth♪
997
00:52:35,955 --> 00:52:39,659
♪ Honey, can you spy
The divine ape-swine♪
998
00:52:39,693 --> 00:52:43,963
♪ 'Cause he can see you♪
999
00:52:47,500 --> 00:52:48,668
I...
1000
00:52:48,702 --> 00:52:49,803
You all right?
1001
00:52:49,836 --> 00:52:51,271
Yeah. It's just...
1002
00:52:53,306 --> 00:52:54,507
Yeah. Okay.
1003
00:52:55,542 --> 00:52:56,776
Wow. It's really tight.
1004
00:53:00,313 --> 00:53:04,284
♪ I'm a man
I'm a twisted fool♪
1005
00:53:04,317 --> 00:53:07,554
♪ My hands are twisted, too...♪
1006
00:53:09,456 --> 00:53:11,791
♪ I am an animal...♪
Oh, God.
1007
00:53:11,825 --> 00:53:14,294
♪ ...that starts with E♪
1008
00:53:14,327 --> 00:53:15,562
-Mabel's.
-Ah.
1009
00:53:16,730 --> 00:53:17,964
♪ I'm a man♪
1010
00:53:17,997 --> 00:53:20,767
♪ I'm a twisted fool♪
1011
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:23,937
♪ My hands are twisted too♪
1012
00:53:23,970 --> 00:53:26,406
♪ Five fingers
Two black hooves♪
1013
00:53:26,439 --> 00:53:27,741
You make me so hard, baby.
1014
00:53:27,774 --> 00:53:30,543
You make me hard.
1015
00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:33,413
What?
1016
00:53:34,714 --> 00:53:36,916
♪ Got toes and I can smile♪
1017
00:53:36,950 --> 00:53:42,022
♪ I'm crooked but upright♪
1018
00:54:12,052 --> 00:54:14,354
How did that happen?
I'm using protection.
1019
00:54:16,856 --> 00:54:22,729
♪ La, la, la, la
Whoo♪
1020
00:54:22,762 --> 00:54:24,698
♪ I'm so nine-to-five♪
1021
00:54:24,731 --> 00:54:26,032
-Hi, Bridge.
-Morning.
1022
00:54:26,066 --> 00:54:27,701
I've got coffee
and I've got Ricky Gervais's
1023
00:54:27,734 --> 00:54:29,736
requests for today's show.
1024
00:54:29,769 --> 00:54:31,805
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
1025
00:54:31,838 --> 00:54:33,773
-It's big.
-Yeah.
1026
00:54:33,807 --> 00:54:36,009
-A relaxation corner.
-Uh-huh.
1027
00:54:36,042 --> 00:54:38,378
Three full-length mirrors.
1028
00:54:38,411 --> 00:54:41,448
And he'll only use La Mer
for some reason?
1029
00:54:41,481 --> 00:54:42,916
I know.
1030
00:54:42,949 --> 00:54:45,518
- Ooh. Three, please.
- Three.
1031
00:54:45,552 --> 00:54:47,420
Did you have sex last night?
1032
00:54:47,454 --> 00:54:49,656
What? No.
1033
00:54:49,689 --> 00:54:51,057
♪ Won't you take a hold of me♪
1034
00:54:51,091 --> 00:54:53,626
Sam! Ricky Gervais is
on his way in.
1035
00:54:53,660 --> 00:54:56,529
And, apparently, he won't drink
Evian, only Icelandic water.
1036
00:54:56,563 --> 00:54:58,832
And it's got to have lots
of alkalines.
1037
00:54:59,766 --> 00:55:01,001
Or no alkalines.
1038
00:55:01,768 --> 00:55:02,936
Um...
1039
00:55:03,903 --> 00:55:05,672
Did you have sex last night?
1040
00:55:05,705 --> 00:55:07,640
What? No!
1041
00:55:07,674 --> 00:55:09,509
♪ La, la, la, la♪
1042
00:55:09,542 --> 00:55:11,077
God!
1043
00:55:11,111 --> 00:55:13,513
Tape measure, please. Quick.
1044
00:55:13,546 --> 00:55:18,718
The cushion can't be more than
40 centimetres from
the floor for Ricky.
1045
00:55:18,752 --> 00:55:20,420
Did you have sex last night?
1046
00:55:23,423 --> 00:55:26,960
Yes. I did. Okay?
I did.
1047
00:55:26,993 --> 00:55:31,898
I had a full night
of utterly mind-blowing sex
1048
00:55:31,931 --> 00:55:36,770
with a tree-rescuing rubbish
expert Adonis who might
be slightly younger, probably.
1049
00:55:36,803 --> 00:55:40,707
And it was amazing!
1050
00:55:40,740 --> 00:55:42,409
Okay?
1051
00:55:42,442 --> 00:55:44,144
So what?
1052
00:55:52,619 --> 00:55:55,822
♪ Lost in romance♪
1053
00:55:55,855 --> 00:55:58,458
♪ Let's just dance, ooh♪
1054
00:55:58,491 --> 00:56:00,593
♪ Shake it till the pearls
Get lost♪
1055
00:56:00,627 --> 00:56:02,595
♪ La, la, la, la♪
1056
00:56:02,629 --> 00:56:04,731
Am not only mother
and sexual being,
1057
00:56:04,764 --> 00:56:07,967
but also capable working woman
at the top of her game.
1058
00:56:08,001 --> 00:56:10,003
So take that, Chloe.
1059
00:56:10,036 --> 00:56:13,473
I've done the macaroni
and cheese, but with butternut
squash instead.
1060
00:56:13,506 --> 00:56:15,975
It's in the bottom oven.
Just needs to move to the top
in about 20 minutes.
1061
00:56:16,009 --> 00:56:18,144
Good. Good. Right.
1062
00:56:18,178 --> 00:56:20,580
It's just how I would do it.
1063
00:56:20,613 --> 00:56:22,048
Um... Oh, Chloe,
1064
00:56:22,082 --> 00:56:24,217
uh, it would be really helpful
1065
00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,619
to have their water bottles done
the night before.
1066
00:56:26,653 --> 00:56:28,154
In the fridge. Top right.
1067
00:56:28,188 --> 00:56:29,756
Where the expired milk was.
1068
00:56:29,789 --> 00:56:33,493
Oh, great. Great. Um...
1069
00:56:33,526 --> 00:56:36,763
Billy will need something extra
for snack tomorrow.
1070
00:56:36,796 --> 00:56:38,631
-He's got--
-Cricket, yeah.
1071
00:56:38,665 --> 00:56:40,767
In a snack bag. Labelled.
By the bread bin.
1072
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,536
-We have a bread bin?
-I have to leave, I'm afraid.
1073
00:56:43,570 --> 00:56:45,538
Graham and I have tai chi
on Thursdays.
1074
00:56:45,572 --> 00:56:48,008
6:45 sharp, but earlier
to get the spot you want.
1075
00:56:48,041 --> 00:56:50,043
Oh. 'Course.
1076
00:56:50,076 --> 00:56:52,645
You and Graham enjoy
your tai chi.
1077
00:56:52,679 --> 00:56:55,181
Oh, you forgot to leave out
Billy's cricket things,
1078
00:56:55,215 --> 00:56:56,683
but never mind. I'll do it.
1079
00:56:56,716 --> 00:56:58,118
Bag packed by the door.
1080
00:57:02,889 --> 00:57:04,224
Nevertheless,
1081
00:57:04,257 --> 00:57:07,660
secret to calmer,
happier parenting:
1082
00:57:07,694 --> 00:57:09,662
one-night stands.
1083
00:57:11,097 --> 00:57:14,534
Although,
it wasn't just one night.
1084
00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:17,570
Brought a pie.
1085
00:57:18,638 --> 00:57:19,939
Hmm.
1086
00:57:26,012 --> 00:57:27,747
That was funny.
1087
00:57:27,781 --> 00:57:30,550
And so,
a moment turned into a date,
1088
00:57:31,718 --> 00:57:33,486
which turned into a kiss.
1089
00:57:35,121 --> 00:57:37,223
Which turned into a night.
1090
00:57:38,124 --> 00:57:40,560
♪ Ooh♪
1091
00:57:41,795 --> 00:57:46,666
♪ What a wonderful thing...♪
1092
00:57:46,700 --> 00:57:50,103
And the night
turned into a summer.
1093
00:57:52,005 --> 00:57:55,208
♪ I can see
You standing there now♪
1094
00:57:56,943 --> 00:57:58,978
♪ And you're
The prettiest thing♪
1095
00:57:59,012 --> 00:58:01,047
♪ In the crowd♪
1096
00:58:02,682 --> 00:58:09,222
♪ And guess who
Be laughing loud, but me♪
1097
00:58:10,790 --> 00:58:15,028
♪ You made me see the love♪
1098
00:58:16,062 --> 00:58:19,866
♪ That you're giving me♪
1099
00:58:19,899 --> 00:58:21,801
♪ Baby...♪
1100
00:58:23,036 --> 00:58:25,305
♪ Won't you hold my hand?♪
1101
00:58:26,439 --> 00:58:31,077
♪ Just let me know that
I'm your man♪
1102
00:58:31,111 --> 00:58:34,948
♪ And show I'm not ashamed♪
1103
00:58:34,981 --> 00:58:37,717
♪ I walk the floor♪
1104
00:58:37,751 --> 00:58:41,888
♪ When you leave me♪
1105
00:58:43,189 --> 00:58:45,325
♪ Hey, baby♪
1106
00:58:46,793 --> 00:58:49,329
♪ I don't know about you♪
1107
00:58:51,264 --> 00:58:55,201
♪ Let me tell you what
I'm gonna do♪
1108
00:58:56,403 --> 00:59:01,741
♪ I'm gonna try to make
My dreams come true♪
1109
00:59:01,775 --> 00:59:04,244
♪ With you♪
1110
00:59:04,277 --> 00:59:05,912
Morning. Welcome back.
1111
00:59:05,945 --> 00:59:08,081
-Good morning, Mr Walliker.
-Morning.
1112
00:59:08,114 --> 00:59:09,916
-Morning.
-Mrs Darcy.
1113
00:59:09,949 --> 00:59:10,984
How were
your summer holidays?
1114
00:59:11,017 --> 00:59:12,152
I have a new daddy now.
1115
00:59:12,185 --> 00:59:13,319
His name is Roxster,
1116
00:59:13,353 --> 00:59:15,021
and he always gives Mummy
1117
00:59:15,055 --> 00:59:16,690
a funny hairstyle in
the morning.
1118
00:59:16,723 --> 00:59:18,825
Yes, well.
It's not that funny,
is it, Mabel?
1119
00:59:18,858 --> 00:59:20,326
It is.
1120
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:23,263
He's not a new daddy.
He's just someone.
1121
00:59:25,231 --> 00:59:26,266
Off you go.
1122
00:59:28,101 --> 00:59:29,869
Well, it seems congratulations
are in order.
1123
00:59:31,771 --> 00:59:33,206
You!
1124
00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:35,375
-No. You two. Come on.
-Bye, Mum. See you soon. Bye.
1125
00:59:35,408 --> 00:59:37,077
Bisous, bisous, bisous.
1126
00:59:37,110 --> 00:59:39,846
Bridget, I emailed you
from Anguilla about, um--
1127
00:59:39,879 --> 00:59:42,849
Jobs Day, yes. I come prepared.
1128
00:59:42,882 --> 00:59:47,287
I must say,
it's a welcome change,
all... this.
1129
00:59:48,221 --> 00:59:49,656
Thank you.
1130
00:59:53,259 --> 00:59:55,228
All right, everyone.
Settle down.
1131
00:59:55,261 --> 00:59:57,097
Settle down. Thank you.
1132
00:59:57,130 --> 00:59:58,832
Um, so...
1133
00:59:58,865 --> 01:00:02,168
Last term, Daveed's dad
was kind enough to talk to us
1134
01:00:02,202 --> 01:00:04,037
about being a thoracic surgeon,
1135
01:00:04,070 --> 01:00:06,339
and next week,
Eugenie's mum will be in
1136
01:00:06,373 --> 01:00:09,209
to talk about her role
as a nuclear physicist,
1137
01:00:09,242 --> 01:00:11,444
and how it felt to win
the Nobel Prize.
1138
01:00:11,478 --> 01:00:14,814
But today, it's Billy's mum.
1139
01:00:14,848 --> 01:00:17,917
So, everyone, give a warm
welcome to Mrs Darcy.
1140
01:00:22,822 --> 01:00:23,790
Hello.
1141
01:00:26,826 --> 01:00:28,161
Um.
1142
01:00:28,194 --> 01:00:31,765
I am a television producer.
1143
01:00:31,798 --> 01:00:35,869
My mum says television
is making society rot.
1144
01:00:35,902 --> 01:00:37,437
Yes. Well, thank you, Priscilla.
1145
01:00:37,470 --> 01:00:40,807
OK.
May we have a volunteer?
1146
01:00:41,841 --> 01:00:43,710
Thank you, Esmeralda.
1147
01:00:51,484 --> 01:00:52,752
Right.
1148
01:00:52,786 --> 01:00:55,955
You can stand here.
1149
01:00:55,989 --> 01:00:57,190
Very good.
1150
01:00:57,223 --> 01:01:00,026
And you are going to
say things like,
1151
01:01:00,060 --> 01:01:02,295
"Ten seconds to air!"
1152
01:01:02,328 --> 01:01:06,466
And I am going to be
the interviewer for the day.
1153
01:01:07,834 --> 01:01:08,968
Now...
1154
01:01:12,872 --> 01:01:13,840
Just...
1155
01:01:15,342 --> 01:01:18,745
Right. OK.
1156
01:01:18,778 --> 01:01:23,416
Perhaps Mr Walliker could be
the person being interviewed.
1157
01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:25,952
Take a seat.
1158
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,922
Uh, righto.
1159
01:01:28,955 --> 01:01:30,824
Now, topic.
1160
01:01:32,959 --> 01:01:36,262
The life cycle of
the fruit fly. Hmm?
1161
01:01:36,296 --> 01:01:37,497
Right, OK.
1162
01:01:39,499 --> 01:01:42,736
Ooh. Ten seconds to air!
1163
01:01:44,104 --> 01:01:45,939
Hello, this is Bridget Jones,
1164
01:01:45,972 --> 01:01:49,776
and I'm delighted to have
Mr Walliker on the show today
1165
01:01:49,809 --> 01:01:53,880
to help us understand
the life cycle of the fruit fly.
1166
01:01:53,913 --> 01:01:55,448
Um, well, it's a...
1167
01:01:55,482 --> 01:01:57,217
it's a pleasure to be on
the show.
1168
01:01:57,250 --> 01:01:59,986
And, um, thank you
for that question.
1169
01:02:00,020 --> 01:02:01,287
Um...
1170
01:02:01,321 --> 01:02:03,223
Well, the, uh, the average...
1171
01:02:04,958 --> 01:02:06,092
Thank you.
1172
01:02:06,126 --> 01:02:08,061
Uh, the average fly takes about
1173
01:02:08,094 --> 01:02:09,362
two weeks to mature
1174
01:02:09,396 --> 01:02:13,099
and can live for as long
as 40 or 50 days.
1175
01:02:13,133 --> 01:02:16,836
And then,
like all living things,
when it dies, it simply stops.
1176
01:02:16,870 --> 01:02:18,004
Cellular shutdown.
1177
01:02:18,038 --> 01:02:20,173
It falls, gradually decomposes,
1178
01:02:20,206 --> 01:02:22,208
and becomes part of
the soil system.
1179
01:02:22,242 --> 01:02:24,277
But does it really end when
it dies?
1180
01:02:26,212 --> 01:02:28,314
Exactly, Mr Walliker.
1181
01:02:28,348 --> 01:02:31,051
Surely there's more to
the story.
1182
01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:36,456
Um, well. Well, not really.
1183
01:02:37,323 --> 01:02:39,492
But, yes.
1184
01:02:39,526 --> 01:02:44,364
After the body of the fruit fly
stops working,
1185
01:02:44,397 --> 01:02:47,267
uh, then the soul of
the fruit fly
1186
01:02:47,300 --> 01:02:50,236
will be able to be free, yes?
1187
01:02:50,270 --> 01:02:52,405
And that particular fruit fly
1188
01:02:52,439 --> 01:02:56,376
will always, in some senses,
be with us.
1189
01:03:00,180 --> 01:03:03,149
-The soul of the fruit fly?
-Hmm.
1190
01:03:03,183 --> 01:03:04,617
There's no evidence for a soul,
1191
01:03:04,651 --> 01:03:08,955
but the body is a perfect system
of electrical pulses,
1192
01:03:08,988 --> 01:03:11,524
powered by the heart,
which is in itself
1193
01:03:11,558 --> 01:03:14,494
-a pump, if you will--
-The soul, Mr Walliker,
1194
01:03:14,527 --> 01:03:17,464
is the essence
of every living thing.
1195
01:03:17,497 --> 01:03:19,899
If you think
we're simply bits of machinery
1196
01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:21,468
that can be switched on or off,
1197
01:03:21,501 --> 01:03:23,336
then where does art come from?
1198
01:03:23,370 --> 01:03:26,139
Or-Or wonder? Or poetry?
1199
01:03:26,172 --> 01:03:27,540
-Or magic?
-Magic?
1200
01:03:27,574 --> 01:03:29,342
The fruit fly, when it dies,
1201
01:03:29,376 --> 01:03:32,278
will stay with its fruit fly
family forever.
1202
01:03:32,312 --> 01:03:34,981
Keep the interview on point,
Bridget.
1203
01:03:35,015 --> 01:03:36,649
This is utter nonsense.
1204
01:03:36,683 --> 01:03:40,487
Our world is governed
by laws and fact.
1205
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,288
That's our universe.
1206
01:03:42,322 --> 01:03:44,190
-And it is rational.
-Cut!
1207
01:03:44,224 --> 01:03:46,192
I'm a realist, Mrs Darcy.
1208
01:03:46,226 --> 01:03:48,128
I believe in what's real.
1209
01:03:48,161 --> 01:03:49,396
Cut!
1210
01:03:50,563 --> 01:03:52,932
Off to Talitha's birthday.
1211
01:03:52,966 --> 01:03:55,468
Are you sure you're OK
to stay tonight?
1212
01:03:55,502 --> 01:03:58,471
It's Thursday.
I thought you
and Graham had tai chi.
1213
01:03:58,505 --> 01:04:01,141
Won't kill him to miss a week,
will it?
1214
01:04:01,174 --> 01:04:02,942
He's so uptight.
1215
01:04:04,577 --> 01:04:06,946
Oh, you look nice, Bridget.
1216
01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:08,481
Oh!
1217
01:04:08,515 --> 01:04:10,650
Ooh.
1218
01:04:11,985 --> 01:04:12,919
Oh, try this.
1219
01:04:19,959 --> 01:04:21,227
There.
1220
01:04:21,261 --> 01:04:22,595
Thanks, Chloe.
1221
01:04:25,331 --> 01:04:28,068
Billy! Mabes!
Snacks on the table.
1222
01:04:32,272 --> 01:04:35,508
So where is he?
Is he not coming?
1223
01:04:35,542 --> 01:04:38,244
Oh, it's fine.
He must have been held up.
1224
01:04:38,278 --> 01:04:40,980
-What? By some sort
of rubbish emergency?
-Oh.
1225
01:04:41,014 --> 01:04:43,016
- Probably had to finish his homework.
- -Stop it.
1226
01:04:43,049 --> 01:04:44,517
Hope he gets here
before story time.
1227
01:04:44,551 --> 01:04:46,386
Shut it!
1228
01:04:46,419 --> 01:04:48,288
Come the fuck on, Bridge.
1229
01:04:48,321 --> 01:04:49,723
Does this guy actually exist
1230
01:04:49,756 --> 01:04:52,325
or is it, um, like that one time
1231
01:04:52,359 --> 01:04:53,960
that you saw Brad Pitt
at Costa Coffee?
1232
01:04:53,993 --> 01:04:56,529
-It was him. It was.
-Come on. Really?
1233
01:04:56,563 --> 01:04:58,264
- Happy birthday.
- Lovely to see you.
1234
01:04:58,298 --> 01:05:00,300
What on earth are you holding?
1235
01:05:00,333 --> 01:05:02,135
Oh, Petula.
1236
01:05:02,168 --> 01:05:03,403
A present to myself
1237
01:05:03,436 --> 01:05:05,972
and I already prefer her
to any human.
1238
01:05:06,006 --> 01:05:07,340
Oh, hi.
1239
01:05:07,374 --> 01:05:08,575
♪ Happy birthday to you♪
1240
01:05:08,608 --> 01:05:10,643
Oh, here. Can you hold my baby
1241
01:05:10,677 --> 01:05:12,445
while I feign surprise at
the cake
1242
01:05:12,479 --> 01:05:15,248
that I chose
and bought for myself.
1243
01:05:15,281 --> 01:05:17,217
Oh, look! Look at that!
1244
01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:19,452
♪ Happy birthday, dear Talitha♪
1245
01:05:19,486 --> 01:05:21,388
Thank you. Oh, look.
1246
01:05:21,421 --> 01:05:26,426
♪ Happy birthday to you♪
1247
01:05:31,164 --> 01:05:32,432
Thank you.
1248
01:05:32,465 --> 01:05:36,503
Thank you all so much
for coming today
1249
01:05:36,536 --> 01:05:40,140
to help me celebrate, well, me.
1250
01:05:41,408 --> 01:05:42,776
We love you, Talitha.
1251
01:05:42,809 --> 01:05:44,978
- Talitha!
- Talitha! Happy birthday.
1252
01:05:46,479 --> 01:05:48,314
Beep, beep. Beep, beep.
1253
01:05:48,348 --> 01:05:50,450
Binko Carruthers.
1254
01:05:50,483 --> 01:05:52,419
Oh, please don't come over.
Please don't.
1255
01:05:52,452 --> 01:05:53,753
Beep, beep.
1256
01:05:53,787 --> 01:05:57,524
There she is.
The famous Bridget Jones.
1257
01:05:57,557 --> 01:06:00,593
So I told Cosmo
I'd take you out for a spin.
1258
01:06:00,627 --> 01:06:01,594
How's Friday?
1259
01:06:03,563 --> 01:06:06,099
Fuck, no!
1260
01:06:06,132 --> 01:06:09,235
Jude, get in there.
Come on, get the fuck in there!
God, help!
1261
01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:11,204
Oh, my God. Oh!
1262
01:06:11,237 --> 01:06:13,540
- Petula, come on, darling.
- Petula! Petula!
1263
01:06:14,641 --> 01:06:16,776
♪ I'm mad about the boy♪
1264
01:06:19,679 --> 01:06:21,715
♪ And I know it's stupid♪
1265
01:06:21,748 --> 01:06:24,617
♪ To be mad about the boy♪
1266
01:06:24,651 --> 01:06:26,419
Who's that?
1267
01:06:26,453 --> 01:06:28,621
♪ I'm so ashamed of it♪
1268
01:06:28,655 --> 01:06:33,626
♪ But must admit
The sleepless nights I've had♪
1269
01:06:35,362 --> 01:06:36,796
♪ About the boy♪
1270
01:06:40,266 --> 01:06:42,402
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh♪
1271
01:06:42,435 --> 01:06:44,104
♪ On the silver screen...♪
1272
01:06:47,140 --> 01:06:51,311
♪ He melts my foolish heart
In every single scene ♪
1273
01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:56,483
♪ Although I'm quite aware...♪
1274
01:06:56,516 --> 01:06:58,485
♪ That here and there
Are traces...♪
1275
01:06:58,518 --> 01:07:00,553
-I think this belongs to you.
-Thank you.
1276
01:07:01,488 --> 01:07:06,159
♪ About the boy♪
1277
01:07:08,862 --> 01:07:14,634
♪ Lord knows
I'm not a fool girl♪
1278
01:07:16,503 --> 01:07:17,804
-Hello.
-Hi.
1279
01:07:17,837 --> 01:07:19,773
♪ I really shouldn't care♪
1280
01:07:23,610 --> 01:07:27,614
♪ Lord knows
I'm not a school girl♪
1281
01:07:28,848 --> 01:07:31,551
♪ Who's in the flurry...♪
1282
01:07:31,584 --> 01:07:33,353
Sorry I'm late.
Buses were a nightmare.
1283
01:07:33,386 --> 01:07:34,587
It's fine.
1284
01:07:36,723 --> 01:07:38,358
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1285
01:07:38,391 --> 01:07:40,593
She just jumped out of my arms.
1286
01:07:40,627 --> 01:07:43,329
Do not apologise.
1287
01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:45,165
Oh, my darling.
1288
01:07:45,198 --> 01:07:46,833
Let me help you out
of those wet clothes.
1289
01:07:46,866 --> 01:07:48,902
No. Don't you dare redress him.
1290
01:07:48,935 --> 01:07:51,604
-You look gorgeous.
-You look gorgeous.
1291
01:07:51,638 --> 01:07:55,108
♪ All because I'm mad♪
1292
01:07:56,209 --> 01:08:01,614
♪ About the boy♪
1293
01:08:01,648 --> 01:08:05,885
Now that, my darling,
is what I call a rebrand.
1294
01:08:07,654 --> 01:08:09,756
Hi. I'm Roxster.
1295
01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:31,578
♪ We've come a long
Long way together♪
1296
01:08:31,611 --> 01:08:33,680
I hope he's up to it, darling.
1297
01:08:33,713 --> 01:08:36,182
♪ Through the hard times
And the good♪
1298
01:08:36,216 --> 01:08:40,620
♪ I have to celebrate you
Baby♪
1299
01:08:40,653 --> 01:08:44,891
♪ I have to praise you like
I should♪
1300
01:08:44,924 --> 01:08:47,160
♪ I have to praise you♪
1301
01:08:49,596 --> 01:08:51,331
♪ I have to praise you♪
1302
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,735
♪ I have to praise you♪
1303
01:08:55,769 --> 01:08:58,238
-Hello.
-Oh, fuck off.
1304
01:08:58,271 --> 01:09:02,475
♪ I have to praise you like
I should♪
1305
01:09:02,509 --> 01:09:04,344
♪ I have to praise you♪
1306
01:09:11,418 --> 01:09:13,286
♪ I have to praise you♪
1307
01:09:18,391 --> 01:09:23,730
♪ I want a little sugar
In my bowl♪
1308
01:09:23,763 --> 01:09:25,398
If there is a God,
1309
01:09:25,432 --> 01:09:27,801
I'm sure he had more to deal
with that night
1310
01:09:27,834 --> 01:09:29,969
than my personal happiness,
1311
01:09:30,003 --> 01:09:33,807
but it did feel like he'd taken
the night off everything else
1312
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:35,709
to focus on me.
1313
01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,913
But then...
1314
01:09:39,946 --> 01:09:41,815
I wish I had a time machine.
1315
01:09:41,848 --> 01:09:43,717
♪ Feel so funny♪
1316
01:09:43,750 --> 01:09:48,755
♪ I feel so sad♪
1317
01:09:48,788 --> 01:09:49,956
♪ What's the matter, baby?♪
1318
01:09:49,989 --> 01:09:51,624
A time machine.
1319
01:09:51,658 --> 01:09:54,027
♪ Come on, save my soul♪
1320
01:09:54,060 --> 01:09:56,496
In his moment
of inebriated joy,
1321
01:09:56,529 --> 01:09:58,798
he had given himself away.
1322
01:10:02,635 --> 01:10:04,504
♪ In my bowl♪
1323
01:10:04,537 --> 01:10:06,373
It mattered to him.
1324
01:10:06,406 --> 01:10:11,444
And with that came the elephant
stomping heavily into the room.
1325
01:10:27,827 --> 01:10:30,030
♪ I try to discover...♪
1326
01:10:30,063 --> 01:10:31,898
That happens to us all, James.
1327
01:10:35,769 --> 01:10:38,004
Oh, I do have about
60 naps a day.
1328
01:10:39,973 --> 01:10:43,576
Well, 60 in the morning
and a nap in the afternoon.
1329
01:10:43,610 --> 01:10:47,580
Yeah, but you've got
so many interesting characters
in this show.
1330
01:10:47,614 --> 01:10:49,616
So this show is for...
1331
01:10:49,649 --> 01:10:50,984
Ghosting.
1332
01:10:51,017 --> 01:10:52,852
The practice of ending
a relationship
1333
01:10:52,886 --> 01:10:54,754
by suddenly and without
explanation
1334
01:10:54,788 --> 01:10:57,057
withdrawing from
all communication.
1335
01:10:58,792 --> 01:11:02,062
♪ That you give me
No reason why you...♪
1336
01:11:02,095 --> 01:11:05,932
The slow unveiling of
reality and rejection.
1337
01:11:05,965 --> 01:11:08,034
♪ That you give me no
That you give me no♪
1338
01:11:08,068 --> 01:11:10,837
♪ That you give me no
That you give me no...♪
1339
01:11:10,870 --> 01:11:12,539
The casual cruelty.
1340
01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:17,911
♪ I hear you calling♪
1341
01:11:19,112 --> 01:11:23,016
♪ Oh, baby, please...♪
1342
01:11:25,085 --> 01:11:29,389
♪ Give a little respect♪
1343
01:11:29,422 --> 01:11:35,795
♪ To me♪
1344
01:11:35,829 --> 01:11:38,465
♪ What religion or reason♪
1345
01:11:38,498 --> 01:11:42,569
♪ Could cause a man
To forsake his lover?♪
1346
01:11:42,602 --> 01:11:44,070
♪ Don't you tell me no...♪
1347
01:11:44,104 --> 01:11:46,139
Do not text
when ghosted.
1348
01:11:46,172 --> 01:11:49,843
♪ Don't you tell me no
Soul...♪
1349
01:11:49,876 --> 01:11:52,078
Do not text when drunk.
1350
01:11:52,112 --> 01:11:55,115
♪ I hear you calling♪
1351
01:11:56,116 --> 01:12:01,421
♪ Oh, baby, please♪
1352
01:12:02,589 --> 01:12:06,426
♪ Give a little respect♪
1353
01:12:06,459 --> 01:12:10,964
♪ To me♪
1354
01:12:20,740 --> 01:12:22,175
Ghost the bastard back, Bridget.
1355
01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:25,011
Just let him disintegrate
into nothingness.
1356
01:12:25,045 --> 01:12:26,913
It can be a jungle out there.
1357
01:12:26,946 --> 01:12:29,482
Yep. And I'm the giant panda,
1358
01:12:29,516 --> 01:12:32,852
sexually obsolete and destined
to be alone forever.
1359
01:12:32,886 --> 01:12:36,122
No. You will adapt and survive
like we all do.
1360
01:12:36,156 --> 01:12:39,526
I used to be on the cover of
Vanity Fairin a flak jacket.
1361
01:12:39,559 --> 01:12:42,629
And now I'm on the cover
of Good Housekeepingwith
a pavlova.
1362
01:12:42,662 --> 01:12:43,697
Cathy...
1363
01:12:44,831 --> 01:12:46,566
where's your special stuff?
1364
01:12:47,901 --> 01:12:50,470
HD TV was
an extinction-level event
1365
01:12:50,503 --> 01:12:53,673
for the fearless
career television presenter.
1366
01:12:53,707 --> 01:12:57,477
I'm about to usher you
into your next chapter.
1367
01:12:57,510 --> 01:13:00,847
Lip serum.
I get it on the dark web.
1368
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:03,216
-Is it legal?
-Absolutely.
1369
01:13:03,249 --> 01:13:04,517
In Venezuela.
1370
01:13:05,051 --> 01:13:06,186
Here, take it.
1371
01:13:09,656 --> 01:13:13,159
Adapt and survive.
1372
01:13:14,994 --> 01:13:17,530
Adapt and survive.
1373
01:13:19,232 --> 01:13:21,968
Ooh. Something's
definitely happening.
1374
01:13:22,002 --> 01:13:25,772
It's either disastrous
or totally fantastic.
1375
01:13:25,805 --> 01:13:27,107
Mummy!
1376
01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:30,510
Hi, sweetie.
1377
01:13:30,543 --> 01:13:32,178
Shit.
What's happening to my voice?
1378
01:13:32,212 --> 01:13:33,847
Mabel's shoes are on
the wrong feet.
1379
01:13:33,880 --> 01:13:35,749
No. My feet are on
the wrong legs.
1380
01:13:37,550 --> 01:13:39,219
Silly thing.
1381
01:13:39,252 --> 01:13:42,222
Mummy, something's wrong
with your mouth.
1382
01:13:43,156 --> 01:13:44,090
No.
1383
01:13:44,124 --> 01:13:45,692
No, there isn't.
1384
01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:47,527
Yes, there is. Look.
1385
01:13:47,560 --> 01:13:49,562
Your lips
are all funny right there.
1386
01:13:49,596 --> 01:13:51,865
Darling, don't be ridiculous.
1387
01:13:51,898 --> 01:13:55,502
All right, Mabel, let's get
these swapped over, shall we?
1388
01:13:56,603 --> 01:13:58,171
Out we pop. All right.
1389
01:13:58,204 --> 01:14:01,875
I wouldn't do that again if
I were you, Mrs Darcy.
1390
01:14:01,908 --> 01:14:03,176
You looked all right
to begin with.
1391
01:14:04,811 --> 01:14:06,146
All right.
1392
01:14:06,179 --> 01:14:08,882
You're trying
to look younger
1393
01:14:08,915 --> 01:14:14,220
and the effects have marked
similarities to those of
an elderly stroke victim.
1394
01:14:16,156 --> 01:14:18,992
You're actually drooling now.
1395
01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,129
Oh, dear.
1396
01:14:23,163 --> 01:14:26,066
Now, acutely aware
as I am of my waiting room
1397
01:14:26,099 --> 01:14:29,102
filled to capacity
with actual patients--
1398
01:14:29,135 --> 01:14:31,271
not to mention the fact that
I am a gynaecologist
1399
01:14:31,304 --> 01:14:33,606
and that particular
set of lips is,
1400
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:36,609
as it were, broadly speaking,
at the wrong end--
1401
01:14:36,643 --> 01:14:39,612
I am nonetheless going to
ask you the question,
1402
01:14:40,280 --> 01:14:42,248
"Bridget, are you OK?"
1403
01:14:42,282 --> 01:14:45,085
A simple yes will suffice.
1404
01:14:46,319 --> 01:14:47,721
No.
1405
01:14:49,622 --> 01:14:51,291
It's all your fault.
1406
01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:35,902
"Twat." Sorry,
it's doctor's handwriting.
1407
01:15:35,935 --> 01:15:37,671
That's an A,
in the middle there.
1408
01:15:37,704 --> 01:15:42,308
Now, I rather zoned out
after "pyjamas",
1409
01:15:42,342 --> 01:15:45,311
but a toy boy is not the answer,
Bridget, and nor are big lips.
1410
01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,014
You're a widow
1411
01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:50,150
with two wonderful children
who adore you.
1412
01:15:50,183 --> 01:15:52,052
You're just trying to cope with
a shitty situation.
1413
01:15:52,085 --> 01:15:53,720
Embrace the chaos.
1414
01:15:55,221 --> 01:15:57,390
That's just a simple allergic
reaction to
1415
01:15:57,424 --> 01:16:00,927
hydroxymethoxyphenyl
propylmethylmethoxybenzofuran
1416
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:04,698
in whatever infernal concoction
you've smeared on your mouth.
1417
01:16:04,731 --> 01:16:07,734
This is
an antihistamine.
1418
01:16:07,767 --> 01:16:09,202
It'll work straight away.
1419
01:16:10,103 --> 01:16:12,305
It's for the lips.
1420
01:16:12,339 --> 01:16:15,375
They still haven't invented
anything for being a twat.
1421
01:16:28,388 --> 01:16:29,989
Hello.
1422
01:16:30,023 --> 01:16:31,658
Yes, this is Bridget.
1423
01:16:33,059 --> 01:16:35,362
Of course! Straight away.
1424
01:16:37,964 --> 01:16:39,132
Yes, yes.
1425
01:16:44,938 --> 01:16:45,939
Daniel.
1426
01:16:47,007 --> 01:16:49,442
Well, by all that's holy,
1427
01:16:49,476 --> 01:16:51,311
Bridget Jones.
1428
01:16:56,182 --> 01:16:58,184
Nice of you to come, Jones.
1429
01:16:58,218 --> 01:17:00,387
If I'd known,
I'd have worn a tinier nightie.
1430
01:17:01,855 --> 01:17:02,822
What happened?
1431
01:17:03,423 --> 01:17:05,091
My heart.
1432
01:17:05,125 --> 01:17:06,459
Two massive surprises.
1433
01:17:06,493 --> 01:17:09,129
One, I have one.
Two, it murmurs.
1434
01:17:09,162 --> 01:17:11,865
They've, um, had a listen
and I don't know.
1435
01:17:12,766 --> 01:17:14,134
Are you OK?
1436
01:17:14,167 --> 01:17:16,002
Well, I thought I was having
a heart attack.
1437
01:17:16,036 --> 01:17:18,438
My whole life passed before
my eyes.
1438
01:17:18,471 --> 01:17:20,140
You actually featured
prominently, Jones.
1439
01:17:20,173 --> 01:17:21,808
-Hmm.
-All the best bits.
1440
01:17:21,841 --> 01:17:23,343
Rome. Mini-break weekend.
1441
01:17:24,210 --> 01:17:26,413
Sodomy in Sainsbury's.
1442
01:17:28,081 --> 01:17:30,283
But, uh, mainly,
1443
01:17:30,316 --> 01:17:32,218
it was just me wandering up
and down the King's Road
1444
01:17:32,252 --> 01:17:33,953
trying to twinkle
at 20-year-olds.
1445
01:17:33,987 --> 01:17:35,488
Mmm.
1446
01:17:35,522 --> 01:17:40,293
Perhaps it's an opportunity
for a new beginning.
1447
01:17:40,326 --> 01:17:42,195
Brand-new Daniel.
1448
01:17:42,862 --> 01:17:43,830
Mmm.
1449
01:17:45,165 --> 01:17:47,801
I think I shall stay
right here...
1450
01:17:49,336 --> 01:17:50,904
until you agree.
1451
01:17:50,937 --> 01:17:52,939
Well that is kind of you,
Bridge, but, um...
1452
01:17:54,074 --> 01:17:55,375
they told me I don't have long.
1453
01:17:55,408 --> 01:17:58,111
-What?
-No, no, no. Fuck. No, not that.
1454
01:17:58,144 --> 01:18:00,380
Well, maybe that.
No, they, uh...
1455
01:18:00,413 --> 01:18:02,916
they're taking
me for some tests in a minute.
1456
01:18:06,820 --> 01:18:10,390
The question is, would we say
I've become a fraction tragic?
1457
01:18:10,423 --> 01:18:14,494
They asked me to put down
my next of kin.
1458
01:18:14,527 --> 01:18:19,265
And the only person I could
think of who might remotely care
was you.
1459
01:18:21,201 --> 01:18:23,503
- That's very sweet.
- -Yeah, but not deliberately.
1460
01:18:23,536 --> 01:18:25,472
The point is, Bridge,
how have I arrived
1461
01:18:25,505 --> 01:18:28,074
at this point
in my life with no kin?
1462
01:18:28,108 --> 01:18:31,244
How could I possibly be kinless?
1463
01:18:31,277 --> 01:18:34,414
But you're not.
You're not kinless.
1464
01:18:34,447 --> 01:18:37,851
Well, I haven't seen Enzo
since he was two.
1465
01:18:37,884 --> 01:18:40,487
And he is now being happily
raised by his mother
1466
01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:44,024
and an Italian aristocrat
who wears his jumper like
a shawl.
1467
01:18:47,027 --> 01:18:48,461
So, lucky you, Jones.
1468
01:18:49,863 --> 01:18:51,898
Your two,
the way they look at you...
1469
01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:56,436
just makes one realise...
1470
01:18:59,172 --> 01:19:00,907
one's own fuck-ups, really.
1471
01:19:02,475 --> 01:19:04,310
The glory of what
might have been.
1472
01:19:09,115 --> 01:19:10,950
Did you know...
1473
01:19:12,419 --> 01:19:14,587
it was actually quite good
1474
01:19:14,621 --> 01:19:17,090
with Gisele at the beginning?
1475
01:19:17,123 --> 01:19:18,858
I have to face the fact...
1476
01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:24,097
...that it may have been,
Jones, love.
1477
01:19:25,031 --> 01:19:26,900
The real thing.
1478
01:19:26,933 --> 01:19:29,135
I still don't know what
she was so pissed off about.
1479
01:19:29,169 --> 01:19:30,403
You shagged her sister.
1480
01:19:30,437 --> 01:19:33,106
Once. Massive overreaction.
1481
01:19:35,075 --> 01:19:38,211
God, I love you, Daniel.
1482
01:19:38,244 --> 01:19:42,415
Despite your really quite
impressive
1483
01:19:42,449 --> 01:19:46,019
lifelong dedication
to total fuckwittage.
1484
01:19:46,052 --> 01:19:47,887
Yeah.
1485
01:19:49,055 --> 01:19:51,057
There's a lot I don't know.
1486
01:19:52,025 --> 01:19:52,959
An awful lot.
1487
01:19:54,627 --> 01:19:58,398
But I do know that my children
would give anything at all
1488
01:19:58,431 --> 01:20:01,134
to have just one day
with their dad.
1489
01:20:10,010 --> 01:20:13,113
Time for your obs,
Mr Cleaver.
1490
01:20:13,146 --> 01:20:14,514
Oh, right.
1491
01:20:14,547 --> 01:20:16,583
And, again,
there is really no need
1492
01:20:16,616 --> 01:20:19,185
for you to remove your gown.
1493
01:20:19,219 --> 01:20:20,320
Sorry.
1494
01:20:20,353 --> 01:20:21,888
Okey-doke.
1495
01:20:21,921 --> 01:20:23,256
God.
1496
01:20:23,289 --> 01:20:26,459
Then lights down on
the cooking segment.
1497
01:20:26,493 --> 01:20:29,062
Why do I always have to do
the cooking bits?
1498
01:20:29,095 --> 01:20:31,498
That chestnut ravioli
he cooked last time
1499
01:20:31,531 --> 01:20:33,266
was the worst thing
I've ever put in my mouth.
1500
01:20:33,299 --> 01:20:34,901
I highly doubt that.
1501
01:20:34,934 --> 01:20:38,038
And then, Miranda,
you cross to the stage.
1502
01:20:38,071 --> 01:20:42,375
"And now, on Better Women,
a surprise guest." Blah blah.
1503
01:20:42,409 --> 01:20:44,210
And lights!
1504
01:20:45,378 --> 01:20:46,646
♪ Yeah, I'm a fighter♪
1505
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,548
♪ And I made it through♪
1506
01:20:48,581 --> 01:20:50,283
♪ Solid gold survivor
That's...♪
1507
01:20:50,316 --> 01:20:52,052
Hold it!
1508
01:20:52,085 --> 01:20:56,022
Linus, we've got to practise
following her with the lights.
1509
01:20:56,056 --> 01:20:57,624
So, uh...
1510
01:20:57,657 --> 01:21:00,527
maybe you could dance a bit?
Yeah?
1511
01:21:00,560 --> 01:21:03,163
- Uh...
- OK. Go, Linus!
1512
01:21:04,664 --> 01:21:06,466
♪ So give me light♪
1513
01:21:06,499 --> 01:21:08,435
♪ You've got to find
Your own road...♪
1514
01:21:08,468 --> 01:21:12,105
Can you hold that, please?
See, you've got to,
you know, go for it.
1515
01:21:12,138 --> 01:21:13,306
♪ Help me see...♪
1516
01:21:13,340 --> 01:21:15,375
'Cause she's going to,
you know...
1517
01:21:15,408 --> 01:21:17,410
♪ And no more light
And no more love♪
1518
01:21:17,444 --> 01:21:19,412
♪ It's not over...♪
1519
01:21:19,446 --> 01:21:21,514
♪ It's not over♪
1520
01:21:21,548 --> 01:21:23,483
♪ I won't save you when
I'm weak♪
1521
01:21:23,516 --> 01:21:25,251
♪ Only got so much left
To give♪
1522
01:21:25,285 --> 01:21:27,987
♪ It's not over♪
1523
01:21:28,021 --> 01:21:29,122
♪ It's not over♪
1524
01:21:29,155 --> 01:21:30,523
♪ Till I'm done...♪
1525
01:21:33,259 --> 01:21:34,661
♪ Till I'm done♪
1526
01:21:36,229 --> 01:21:38,031
- See, Linus?
- Hi, B.
1527
01:21:39,566 --> 01:21:41,201
Oh, shit.
1528
01:21:43,136 --> 01:21:44,337
Brought a pie.
1529
01:21:47,073 --> 01:21:49,576
Sorry, they just told me
to come in.
1530
01:21:51,778 --> 01:21:54,114
You disappeared, Roxster.
1531
01:21:54,147 --> 01:21:55,048
I know.
1532
01:21:55,715 --> 01:21:56,716
I know.
1533
01:22:00,220 --> 01:22:01,988
I panicked.
1534
01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,059
I got-- I got scared, and I ran.
1535
01:22:07,193 --> 01:22:09,029
But I want this.
1536
01:22:10,130 --> 01:22:11,097
You.
1537
01:22:12,599 --> 01:22:16,069
I thought I wasn't ready,
but I am.
1538
01:22:17,070 --> 01:22:18,738
I thought I...
1539
01:22:18,772 --> 01:22:21,141
I don't know,
wanted somebody my own age,
1540
01:22:21,174 --> 01:22:23,476
but I don't.
1541
01:22:27,681 --> 01:22:29,582
I love you, Bridget.
1542
01:22:33,319 --> 01:22:35,121
I'm ready for all of it.
1543
01:22:35,155 --> 01:22:37,090
For Billy and Mabel.
1544
01:22:38,158 --> 01:22:39,359
And burnt lasagne.
1545
01:22:39,392 --> 01:22:41,594
And slime.
1546
01:22:41,628 --> 01:22:43,763
And all of it.
1547
01:22:46,099 --> 01:22:47,734
I promise you,
I am ready.
1548
01:22:50,503 --> 01:22:52,639
I'm not sure
that matters.
1549
01:22:55,742 --> 01:22:57,777
What do you mean?
I don't-- I don't understand.
1550
01:22:57,811 --> 01:23:00,613
You're so lovely,
1551
01:23:02,282 --> 01:23:04,317
and you're going to be
1552
01:23:04,351 --> 01:23:07,554
a brilliant partner and dad.
1553
01:23:07,587 --> 01:23:09,122
And you're going to discover
1554
01:23:09,155 --> 01:23:12,325
all sorts of garbage that
will change the world.
1555
01:23:12,359 --> 01:23:14,094
That's not how it works.
1556
01:23:14,127 --> 01:23:15,495
But not with me.
1557
01:23:21,267 --> 01:23:23,236
I wish I had a time machine too.
1558
01:23:25,305 --> 01:23:26,806
So you could catch up.
1559
01:23:30,677 --> 01:23:32,579
Are you-- Are you sure?
1560
01:23:34,814 --> 01:23:36,116
I am.
1561
01:23:49,863 --> 01:23:51,531
I'll keep the pie,
if that's OK.
1562
01:23:57,570 --> 01:23:58,705
Goodbye, Bridget.
1563
01:24:10,750 --> 01:24:12,686
Parents' evening.
1564
01:24:12,719 --> 01:24:15,855
Is there a worse night for
the single parent?
1565
01:24:16,856 --> 01:24:18,591
They call it parents' evening
1566
01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:20,827
as if it's a plural.
1567
01:24:20,860 --> 01:24:24,164
As if it's a given that
there's two of us.
1568
01:24:25,665 --> 01:24:28,702
Oh, well. Chin up and onward.
1569
01:24:28,735 --> 01:24:30,303
Mrs Darcy.
1570
01:24:31,771 --> 01:24:33,673
It's good to see you.
1571
01:24:33,707 --> 01:24:35,742
Good to be back in the studio.
1572
01:24:37,177 --> 01:24:40,146
The great fruit fly debate.
1573
01:24:41,314 --> 01:24:42,482
Uh...
1574
01:24:42,515 --> 01:24:43,783
Small secret.
1575
01:24:43,817 --> 01:24:45,652
It was about 50 times
more interesting
1576
01:24:45,685 --> 01:24:47,787
than that
bloody thoracic surgeon.
1577
01:24:47,821 --> 01:24:49,522
And don't get me started on
the physicist.
1578
01:24:49,556 --> 01:24:53,226
I mean, they'll hand out Nobels
to anyone these days.
1579
01:24:53,259 --> 01:24:55,395
Oh, yeah.
1580
01:24:55,428 --> 01:24:58,398
So, uh, Billy.
1581
01:24:58,431 --> 01:25:01,267
Well, he's, um...
he's an excellent cricketer.
1582
01:25:01,301 --> 01:25:02,469
-Mm-hmm.
-You know,
1583
01:25:02,502 --> 01:25:03,937
he's a very good
young scientist.
1584
01:25:03,970 --> 01:25:06,239
He's... he's got a good brain.
1585
01:25:06,272 --> 01:25:10,677
He's methodical,
his experiments
are well drawn up.
1586
01:25:10,710 --> 01:25:12,679
Look, I mean, it's just, uh...
1587
01:25:12,712 --> 01:25:14,781
it's excellent work all round.
1588
01:25:16,383 --> 01:25:19,686
-Good.
-It's just this,
Mrs Darcy. I'm...
1589
01:25:20,887 --> 01:25:22,489
I'm a...
1590
01:25:22,522 --> 01:25:24,557
I'm a bit concerned about him.
1591
01:25:24,591 --> 01:25:27,727
Concerned? Concerned how?
What's he done?
1592
01:25:27,761 --> 01:25:30,463
No, he hasn't done anything.
He's, um...
1593
01:25:30,497 --> 01:25:32,165
He's just been a bit, uh...
1594
01:25:33,400 --> 01:25:34,701
withdrawn.
1595
01:25:35,502 --> 01:25:36,770
Why is he withdrawn?
1596
01:25:36,803 --> 01:25:38,838
Everything's been all right
at home?
1597
01:25:38,872 --> 01:25:41,741
Yes, yes. It's all fine.
1598
01:25:41,775 --> 01:25:43,810
Everything OK with your, um...
1599
01:25:45,879 --> 01:25:47,480
hairdresser?
1600
01:25:47,514 --> 01:25:50,550
Him? No, but-but yes. Uh...
1601
01:25:50,583 --> 01:25:52,419
He's withdrawn?
1602
01:25:52,452 --> 01:25:55,488
Well, I don't mean
to alarm you.
1603
01:25:55,522 --> 01:25:58,925
- Sorry about that. Yep, exactly.
- Mr Walliker,
sorry, sorry.
1604
01:25:58,958 --> 01:26:01,628
We're a couple of minutes early,
but these sessions are so short.
1605
01:26:01,661 --> 01:26:03,930
And I have more than
a few questions for you.
1606
01:26:03,963 --> 01:26:05,565
You don't mind, do you, Bridget?
1607
01:26:05,598 --> 01:26:07,767
We do have the two boys, so...
1608
01:26:07,801 --> 01:26:10,837
Not at all. No. That's...
It's fine.
1609
01:26:13,039 --> 01:26:15,675
- Mate, I'm gonna have to put you on mute.
- -Thank you.
1610
01:26:15,709 --> 01:26:17,944
- Right.
- I've got parents' evening.
1611
01:26:39,566 --> 01:26:41,301
Mark Darcy, the leading
1612
01:26:41,334 --> 01:26:43,970
international humanitarian
rights lawyer,
1613
01:26:44,004 --> 01:26:46,973
was killed this morning in
the Darfur region in Sudan.
1614
01:26:47,007 --> 01:26:49,509
...a land mine.
The 55-year-old was in
1615
01:26:49,542 --> 01:26:51,778
the war-torn region
after joining international
efforts...
1616
01:26:51,811 --> 01:26:54,447
Mr Darcy was a leading
international figure
in human rights
1617
01:26:54,481 --> 01:26:55,815
and crisis resolution...
1618
01:26:55,849 --> 01:26:57,450
...gained global recognition
1619
01:26:57,484 --> 01:26:59,786
with the Kafir Aghani
and Eleanor Heaney case,
1620
01:26:59,819 --> 01:27:01,354
which, of course, he won.
1621
01:27:01,388 --> 01:27:03,790
He leaves behind his wife,
Bridget Jones,
1622
01:27:03,823 --> 01:27:06,626
and their two young children,
Billy and Mabel.
1623
01:27:06,659 --> 01:27:10,363
More on this story as
we get it.
1624
01:28:06,986 --> 01:28:08,555
Dearest darling Mark,
1625
01:28:10,156 --> 01:28:12,659
it's your birthday
on Sunday, and...
1626
01:28:14,461 --> 01:28:17,630
...I'm just no good
at doing this on my own.
1627
01:28:19,933 --> 01:28:22,002
I'm sorry
I'm such a bad mother.
1628
01:28:22,035 --> 01:28:25,672
I'm sorry I got caught up
with a callow toy boy.
1629
01:28:25,705 --> 01:28:29,509
I'm sorry I'm late for school
and that Billy's withdrawn.
1630
01:28:31,111 --> 01:28:33,113
They're growing up without you.
1631
01:28:34,714 --> 01:28:36,049
How is Billy
going to understand
1632
01:28:36,082 --> 01:28:39,419
how to be a man without
his father?
1633
01:28:39,452 --> 01:28:41,454
How is Mabel going to live
her life
1634
01:28:41,488 --> 01:28:43,490
having never really
known you at all?
1635
01:28:44,858 --> 01:28:46,559
Please forgive me
for being upset
1636
01:28:46,593 --> 01:28:50,096
about anything which
isn't about not having you.
1637
01:28:50,130 --> 01:28:53,033
Please help me find a way
to do this
1638
01:28:53,066 --> 01:28:57,470
without feeling like
I'm ruining the most
important part of my life.
1639
01:28:59,939 --> 01:29:02,475
The only part that
still has you in it.
1640
01:29:17,490 --> 01:29:20,760
I have to put down how many
tickets we need
for my Christmas concert.
1641
01:29:20,794 --> 01:29:23,129
-Mm-hmm.
-Should I put down two?
For you and Mabel?
1642
01:29:23,163 --> 01:29:24,064
Put three.
1643
01:29:24,097 --> 01:29:27,600
Mabel, me and Chloe.
1644
01:29:27,634 --> 01:29:29,602
OK. Three.
1645
01:29:30,570 --> 01:29:31,571
Finished.
1646
01:29:31,604 --> 01:29:32,605
Me too.
1647
01:29:41,981 --> 01:29:44,050
Daddy will love these.
1648
01:29:44,751 --> 01:29:46,152
They're perfect.
1649
01:29:46,186 --> 01:29:47,153
Yes.
1650
01:29:47,187 --> 01:29:48,755
Did you write one, Mummy?
1651
01:29:48,788 --> 01:29:50,156
I did.
1652
01:29:50,190 --> 01:29:52,492
Tomorrow, can we post them
to Daddy?
1653
01:29:52,525 --> 01:29:53,626
Of course we can.
1654
01:30:01,534 --> 01:30:04,204
And Mark's birthday
came as it always did...
1655
01:30:06,539 --> 01:30:10,910
like all the celebrations,
Christmases and anniversaries.
1656
01:30:10,944 --> 01:30:13,713
All the love and all the pain.
1657
01:30:20,553 --> 01:30:22,555
OK. Ready?
1658
01:30:23,823 --> 01:30:24,991
On three.
1659
01:30:25,925 --> 01:30:29,462
One, two...
1660
01:30:37,070 --> 01:30:39,506
What am I going to do when
I get to--
1661
01:30:39,539 --> 01:30:40,707
...three.
1662
01:31:24,918 --> 01:31:28,154
What I have is what
I love most in the world.
1663
01:31:28,922 --> 01:31:30,924
Billy and Mabel.
1664
01:31:30,957 --> 01:31:32,759
Just the three of us.
1665
01:31:41,868 --> 01:31:43,870
♪ Whoo!♪
1666
01:31:43,903 --> 01:31:46,006
- Mr Walliker.
- Mrs Darcy.
1667
01:31:46,039 --> 01:31:48,074
♪ Darling, you got to let me
Know...♪
1668
01:31:48,108 --> 01:31:49,876
Billy!
1669
01:31:49,909 --> 01:31:51,778
- Hello!
- Hello!
1670
01:31:51,811 --> 01:31:52,779
Ready?
1671
01:31:54,647 --> 01:31:58,018
♪ If you say that you are mine♪
1672
01:31:58,051 --> 01:32:01,087
♪ I'll be here till the end
Of time♪
1673
01:32:02,922 --> 01:32:07,260
♪ So you got to let me know♪
1674
01:32:07,293 --> 01:32:09,796
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go?♪
1675
01:32:11,364 --> 01:32:14,167
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go now?♪
1676
01:32:15,301 --> 01:32:18,571
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go now?♪
1677
01:32:20,106 --> 01:32:24,044
♪ If I go
There will be trouble♪
1678
01:32:24,077 --> 01:32:28,048
♪ And if I stay
It will be double♪
1679
01:32:28,081 --> 01:32:32,619
♪ So you gotta let me know♪
1680
01:32:32,652 --> 01:32:35,321
♪ Should I stay
Or should I go?♪
1681
01:32:35,355 --> 01:32:36,890
Have a good walk, then.
1682
01:32:36,923 --> 01:32:37,924
Thank you.
1683
01:32:37,957 --> 01:32:40,126
Bye.
1684
01:32:40,927 --> 01:32:42,095
All right, come in.
1685
01:32:42,796 --> 01:32:43,763
Now...
1686
01:32:46,066 --> 01:32:50,103
what this is not is a "walk."
1687
01:32:51,071 --> 01:32:53,039
We are about to embark as a team
1688
01:32:53,073 --> 01:32:55,809
on an orienteering adventure.
1689
01:32:55,842 --> 01:32:58,244
- So do you each have your compasses?
- -Yes!
1690
01:32:58,278 --> 01:33:00,814
-Do you each have your maps?
-Yes!
1691
01:33:00,847 --> 01:33:03,149
Right then, you know your groups.
Hands up, Otters!
1692
01:33:03,183 --> 01:33:07,220
You'll go along with Mr Collins
and Bikram's mum, Mrs Pasricha.
1693
01:33:07,253 --> 01:33:11,224
Billy's mum, Mrs Darcy.
You've drawn the short straw,
I'm afraid.
1694
01:33:11,257 --> 01:33:12,959
You'll be joining me
and the Ospreys.
1695
01:33:12,992 --> 01:33:15,829
Now, this is very important.
1696
01:33:15,862 --> 01:33:20,266
Remember to open your eyes
and look around.
1697
01:33:21,167 --> 01:33:22,268
This is one of the most
1698
01:33:22,302 --> 01:33:24,871
beautiful places on earth.
1699
01:33:26,806 --> 01:33:28,008
Enjoy it.
1700
01:33:28,041 --> 01:33:29,275
Let's go.
1701
01:33:31,344 --> 01:33:35,048
-You sure you're up to this,
Mrs Darcy?
-Absolutely!
1702
01:33:35,081 --> 01:33:36,416
I was a Queen's Guide.
1703
01:33:36,449 --> 01:33:39,352
Got my Pioneer badge.
1704
01:33:39,386 --> 01:33:42,989
I can rope, knot,
splice and lash.
1705
01:33:43,023 --> 01:33:45,258
If you need anything tied up,
1706
01:33:45,291 --> 01:33:47,827
I'm your girl.
1707
01:33:47,861 --> 01:33:50,230
- Right then.
- Bring up the rear.
1708
01:33:52,198 --> 01:33:54,901
Yes! Bringing up the rear!
1709
01:33:54,934 --> 01:33:56,336
Up!
1710
01:33:56,369 --> 01:33:58,171
We're gonna see
much more water than that.
1711
01:33:58,204 --> 01:33:59,305
Up the rear!
1712
01:34:01,374 --> 01:34:02,375
Yep.
1713
01:34:02,409 --> 01:34:04,310
Make sure everybody's with us.
1714
01:34:23,329 --> 01:34:25,965
You can see
the second waterfall, can't you?
1715
01:34:28,368 --> 01:34:30,437
Well, those two are together.
1716
01:34:42,215 --> 01:34:43,383
Coming!
1717
01:34:47,187 --> 01:34:48,822
Hurry along. Come on!
1718
01:34:55,895 --> 01:34:57,897
- Give me your hand.
- Wow. So cool.
1719
01:34:57,931 --> 01:34:58,965
OK.
1720
01:35:01,101 --> 01:35:02,035
Right.
1721
01:35:03,103 --> 01:35:04,471
Is there a Wi-Fi password?
1722
01:35:04,504 --> 01:35:06,206
Oh, Atticus,
don't be a pillock.
1723
01:35:06,239 --> 01:35:07,941
All right, take this tarp
1724
01:35:07,974 --> 01:35:09,843
and spread it out on the floor
over there, all right?
1725
01:35:09,876 --> 01:35:11,311
Come on.
1726
01:35:11,344 --> 01:35:13,847
It's all right.
It's dry.
1727
01:35:16,816 --> 01:35:19,519
Mrs Darcy,
could you take that wheelbarrow,
1728
01:35:19,552 --> 01:35:21,788
pick up some firewood
for when the rain stops?
1729
01:35:21,821 --> 01:35:23,356
Yep.
1730
01:35:23,390 --> 01:35:25,825
All right, everyone.
Do your best to get dry.
1731
01:35:29,329 --> 01:35:31,498
Ding-fucking-dong.
1732
01:35:31,531 --> 01:35:32,999
Whenever you're ready.
1733
01:35:43,543 --> 01:35:45,445
Looks like
we'll be here for a while.
1734
01:35:57,257 --> 01:35:59,325
It really
is absolutely disgusting.
1735
01:35:59,359 --> 01:36:01,861
Burnt to a crisp.
1736
01:36:01,895 --> 01:36:03,963
I think you'll find
it's a brûlée.
1737
01:36:07,400 --> 01:36:08,401
Come on, then.
1738
01:36:08,435 --> 01:36:10,203
Off to Bedfordshire.
1739
01:36:10,236 --> 01:36:12,072
Goodnight, Mr Walliker.
1740
01:36:12,105 --> 01:36:14,307
- Here we are.
- Sleep well, team.
1741
01:36:14,341 --> 01:36:16,409
- Well done today.
- Thank you.
1742
01:36:16,443 --> 01:36:18,111
Okay. Night night.
1743
01:36:19,579 --> 01:36:20,580
Goodnight.
1744
01:36:29,422 --> 01:36:31,491
Mission accomplished.
1745
01:36:31,524 --> 01:36:34,928
One barnful
of sleeping children.
1746
01:36:34,961 --> 01:36:38,164
Don't get me wrong,
I'm quite impressed
by your resourcefulness,
1747
01:36:38,198 --> 01:36:39,933
but who travels to
the Lake District
1748
01:36:39,966 --> 01:36:42,168
with a backpack full
of marshmallows?
1749
01:36:42,202 --> 01:36:45,271
All parents know the marshmallow
1750
01:36:45,305 --> 01:36:48,208
is an essential tool,
Mr Walliker.
1751
01:36:52,979 --> 01:36:54,881
Do you have children?
1752
01:36:54,914 --> 01:36:57,350
Uh, no. No, no,
I never did any of that.
1753
01:36:58,351 --> 01:37:00,420
But, um...
1754
01:37:00,453 --> 01:37:02,055
It's funny.
In the back of your mind,
1755
01:37:02,088 --> 01:37:04,324
you think it might happen,
and--
1756
01:37:04,357 --> 01:37:06,192
But, you know, one day,
1757
01:37:06,226 --> 01:37:09,129
you're preparing a test
for a periodic table...
1758
01:37:09,162 --> 01:37:13,533
...and you realise
it's the 27th one you've set,
1759
01:37:13,566 --> 01:37:15,969
and there's just never been time
1760
01:37:16,002 --> 01:37:18,304
to really think about having
anything like a...
1761
01:37:18,338 --> 01:37:20,106
like a family in between.
1762
01:37:24,277 --> 01:37:25,445
But it's good.
1763
01:37:26,413 --> 01:37:28,348
It's good. I, uh...
1764
01:37:28,381 --> 01:37:29,649
Well, it suits me.
1765
01:37:31,284 --> 01:37:32,419
Mmm.
1766
01:37:33,987 --> 01:37:35,155
I see it does.
1767
01:37:38,391 --> 01:37:39,926
I mean, look at that.
1768
01:37:43,396 --> 01:37:44,531
All of it.
1769
01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:52,205
You asked me where's
the wonder and the magic.
1770
01:37:54,341 --> 01:37:55,675
It's a good question.
1771
01:37:58,111 --> 01:37:59,412
I think it's here.
1772
01:38:00,680 --> 01:38:03,516
You don't believe in magic,
Mr Walliker.
1773
01:38:03,550 --> 01:38:04,951
No.
1774
01:38:06,286 --> 01:38:07,687
Well, I've been thinking.
1775
01:38:19,132 --> 01:38:20,266
Mummy?
1776
01:38:20,300 --> 01:38:21,735
Atticus is really frightened.
1777
01:38:21,768 --> 01:38:24,738
He says his mum sings Puccini
to him when he's scared.
1778
01:38:24,771 --> 01:38:29,275
Well, he might have to settle
for some early Take That,
1779
01:38:29,309 --> 01:38:31,711
but I'll see what I can do,
okay?
1780
01:38:33,046 --> 01:38:34,414
Mr Walliker,
1781
01:38:34,447 --> 01:38:36,516
do you mind if I sit here for
a minute?
1782
01:38:36,549 --> 01:38:38,218
Of course. Sit down.
1783
01:38:53,566 --> 01:38:55,602
-Is there anything you want to--
-It's just...
1784
01:38:56,503 --> 01:38:58,038
what if I forget him?
1785
01:38:59,205 --> 01:39:00,640
I don't wanna forget him.
1786
01:39:01,608 --> 01:39:03,476
But what if I do?
1787
01:39:10,083 --> 01:39:12,218
Let me tell you this, Billy,
um...
1788
01:39:14,254 --> 01:39:18,091
Your dad is everywhere.
1789
01:39:20,193 --> 01:39:21,227
He's everywhere.
1790
01:39:22,095 --> 01:39:23,096
Right now...
1791
01:39:25,065 --> 01:39:26,533
in this moment.
1792
01:39:26,566 --> 01:39:28,768
And that's a scientific fact.
1793
01:39:30,337 --> 01:39:34,240
Energy is only transferred.
1794
01:39:35,342 --> 01:39:36,676
It can never be destroyed.
1795
01:39:37,544 --> 01:39:39,446
And more importantly,
1796
01:39:39,479 --> 01:39:41,548
your father is in you.
1797
01:39:43,516 --> 01:39:44,784
And Mabel.
1798
01:39:50,557 --> 01:39:52,058
Billy, tell me something...
1799
01:39:54,594 --> 01:39:55,762
one thing...
1800
01:39:57,197 --> 01:39:58,598
that you remember best
1801
01:39:59,366 --> 01:40:01,034
about your dad.
1802
01:40:11,678 --> 01:40:15,849
♪ Another Christmas
Is around the corner♪
1803
01:40:15,882 --> 01:40:20,286
♪ And I can feel us, darling
Getting closer♪
1804
01:40:20,320 --> 01:40:24,257
♪ It's coming down the road
And stopping it now♪
1805
01:40:24,290 --> 01:40:28,194
♪ Stopping it now
Is impossible...♪
1806
01:40:28,228 --> 01:40:29,162
Can we?
1807
01:40:30,296 --> 01:40:31,664
-May we.
-Yes.
1808
01:40:31,698 --> 01:40:34,467
♪ I built a snowman out
The back♪
1809
01:40:34,501 --> 01:40:39,272
♪ It came alive And flew me
Round this sleepy town♪
1810
01:40:39,305 --> 01:40:42,342
♪ I put an old scarf round
Its neck...♪
1811
01:40:42,375 --> 01:40:43,810
Careful!
1812
01:40:43,843 --> 01:40:45,378
♪ And every time
You kiss me...♪
1813
01:40:45,412 --> 01:40:46,479
Chop-chop.
1814
01:40:46,513 --> 01:40:47,814
One, two. One, two.
1815
01:40:47,847 --> 01:40:49,416
May I have
your hot chocolate?
1816
01:40:49,449 --> 01:40:52,218
- No. No! Marshmallows!
- Yes. Yes.
1817
01:40:52,252 --> 01:40:55,422
Mabel, why don't I take you to your seat?
Come on.
1818
01:40:55,455 --> 01:40:57,157
Is that all right?
1819
01:40:58,391 --> 01:41:00,527
-Don't dawdle, Mrs Darcy.
-No.
1820
01:41:00,560 --> 01:41:02,162
Show's starting.
1821
01:41:02,195 --> 01:41:04,297
Yes, of course.
1822
01:41:17,744 --> 01:41:19,646
- That sounds fantastic.
- Yeah.
1823
01:41:19,679 --> 01:41:21,314
I'll see you at Nobu at 7.00.
1824
01:41:21,348 --> 01:41:23,717
Oh, for God's sake, Victor.
1825
01:41:23,750 --> 01:41:25,685
Fucking prick.
1826
01:41:30,423 --> 01:41:33,626
Bravo! Bravo.
1827
01:41:38,298 --> 01:41:40,900
Thank you,
Eros and Atticus
Soltani-Watkins.
1828
01:41:42,268 --> 01:41:44,604
Now, although it's not on
the programme,
1829
01:41:44,637 --> 01:41:47,340
we do have one--
one more song.
1830
01:41:47,374 --> 01:41:51,444
Um, I happen to know it means
a lot to our singer.
1831
01:41:51,478 --> 01:41:55,682
And, um... well, this is his
first-ever solo performance,
1832
01:41:56,816 --> 01:41:58,718
and I know he'll
do himself proud.
1833
01:42:30,417 --> 01:42:34,721
♪ I'd do anything♪
1834
01:42:34,754 --> 01:42:39,659
♪ For you, dear, anything♪
1835
01:42:39,693 --> 01:42:44,597
♪ For you mean everything♪
1836
01:42:44,631 --> 01:42:48,601
♪ To me♪
1837
01:42:48,635 --> 01:42:50,503
♪ I know that♪
1838
01:42:50,537 --> 01:42:54,474
♪ I'd go anywhere♪
1839
01:42:54,507 --> 01:42:59,612
♪ For your smile, anywhere♪
1840
01:42:59,646 --> 01:43:02,549
♪ For your smile♪
1841
01:43:02,582 --> 01:43:08,688
♪ Everywhere I'd see♪
1842
01:43:08,722 --> 01:43:11,691
♪ Would you climb a hill?♪
1843
01:43:11,725 --> 01:43:13,293
♪ Anything♪
1844
01:43:13,326 --> 01:43:17,931
♪ Wear a daffodil?
Anything♪
1845
01:43:17,964 --> 01:43:22,502
♪ Leave me all your will?
Anything♪
1846
01:43:22,535 --> 01:43:25,839
♪ Even fight my Bill?♪
1847
01:43:25,872 --> 01:43:27,841
♪ What? Fisticuffs?♪
1848
01:43:27,874 --> 01:43:31,878
♪ I'd risk everything♪
1849
01:43:31,911 --> 01:43:36,549
♪ For one kiss, everything♪
1850
01:43:36,583 --> 01:43:41,488
♪ Yes, I'd do anything♪
1851
01:43:41,521 --> 01:43:43,723
♪ Anything♪
1852
01:43:43,757 --> 01:43:48,862
♪ For you♪
1853
01:44:01,675 --> 01:44:02,809
Go, Billy!
1854
01:44:07,514 --> 01:44:08,448
Bravo!
1855
01:44:43,416 --> 01:44:45,385
Oh, my darling.
1856
01:44:47,687 --> 01:44:50,657
Daddy would be so proud of you.
1857
01:44:50,690 --> 01:44:51,825
I know.
1858
01:44:54,127 --> 01:44:55,962
Well done, Billy. You nailed it.
1859
01:44:55,995 --> 01:44:58,398
-Were you surprised, Mum?
-Yes.
1860
01:44:58,431 --> 01:45:00,467
-Genius.
-Up top.
1861
01:45:02,435 --> 01:45:04,971
-So, can I have a sleepover
with Bikram?
-Yes.
1862
01:45:05,005 --> 01:45:06,940
-And did you bring my--
-Yes.
1863
01:45:06,973 --> 01:45:09,109
Bikram! Nintendo!
1864
01:45:10,944 --> 01:45:13,847
Mr Walliker, Billy was...
1865
01:45:13,880 --> 01:45:16,016
The whole thing was...
1866
01:45:16,049 --> 01:45:19,452
-It was--
-It was magic, Mrs Darcy.
1867
01:45:19,486 --> 01:45:21,121
No, it wasn't.
1868
01:45:21,154 --> 01:45:23,456
What you've done for Billy...
1869
01:45:24,858 --> 01:45:27,394
People talk about moving on like
it means,
1870
01:45:27,427 --> 01:45:29,829
you know,
leaving something behind,
1871
01:45:29,863 --> 01:45:31,965
you know,
leaving someone you love behind,
1872
01:45:31,998 --> 01:45:34,534
but perhaps it's more
that suddenly you see
1873
01:45:34,567 --> 01:45:37,904
you can live at the same time
as all the things you've lost,
1874
01:45:37,937 --> 01:45:42,108
and that you can be happy
even without them.
1875
01:45:42,142 --> 01:45:44,978
And tonight,
I saw my son up there
1876
01:45:45,011 --> 01:45:48,715
and I understood for
the first time in four years
1877
01:45:48,748 --> 01:45:50,850
that he's going to be okay.
1878
01:45:50,884 --> 01:45:52,919
And so, we're going to be okay.
1879
01:45:52,952 --> 01:45:54,688
And you did that, Mr Walliker.
1880
01:45:54,721 --> 01:45:56,089
It wasn't magic.
1881
01:45:57,023 --> 01:45:58,992
It was you.
1882
01:45:59,025 --> 01:46:03,730
So, I'll overlook your tendency
to be a little aloof--
1883
01:46:03,763 --> 01:46:05,799
Some might call it
condescending.
1884
01:46:05,832 --> 01:46:07,600
Supercilious is a good word
1885
01:46:07,634 --> 01:46:11,471
and you probably don't hear it
enough, but the point is...
1886
01:46:14,607 --> 01:46:15,675
thank you.
1887
01:46:17,844 --> 01:46:19,012
Mr Walliker?
1888
01:46:20,647 --> 01:46:23,049
We're going to
The Spaniards for a drink.
1889
01:46:23,083 --> 01:46:26,753
Um, and if you wanted to come,
1890
01:46:26,786 --> 01:46:29,222
well, we'd be there
1891
01:46:29,255 --> 01:46:33,793
because that's where we'll be.
1892
01:46:33,827 --> 01:46:36,996
Can't be taught.
Can't be taught.
It was unbelievable.
1893
01:46:37,030 --> 01:46:38,898
-Mrs Darcy.
-The flautists,
an absolute triumph.
1894
01:46:38,932 --> 01:46:41,101
One of the best
Christmas shows I've ever seen.
1895
01:46:41,134 --> 01:46:43,636
Christmas shows don't get much better than that.
Extraordinary.
1896
01:46:43,670 --> 01:46:45,839
No, it doesn't.
Don't look at me like that.
1897
01:46:45,872 --> 01:46:47,707
- Billy! How did it go?
- Billy!
1898
01:46:47,741 --> 01:46:48,875
- I did a solo.
- Oh!
1899
01:46:48,908 --> 01:46:50,176
Congratulations.
1900
01:46:50,210 --> 01:46:52,512
Come here. Have a squidge.
1901
01:46:52,545 --> 01:46:54,514
He was brilliant.
1902
01:46:54,547 --> 01:46:56,182
- Hello, Mabel. How are you?
-Well done.
I bet you were.
1903
01:46:56,216 --> 01:46:58,118
- Chloe has a video.
- You look lovely.
1904
01:46:58,151 --> 01:46:59,753
- There's a video?
- A video?
1905
01:46:59,786 --> 01:47:01,021
Chloe? Video?
1906
01:47:02,589 --> 01:47:03,890
Congratulations.
1907
01:47:03,923 --> 01:47:05,525
Hi. Uh, four, uh...
1908
01:47:05,558 --> 01:47:07,694
large glasses of white wine,
please.
1909
01:47:07,727 --> 01:47:09,062
Wine. Wine.
1910
01:47:09,095 --> 01:47:11,131
Oh, house white. Party petrol.
1911
01:47:11,164 --> 01:47:13,767
- Bikram's here!
- Your wine, ladies.
1912
01:47:13,800 --> 01:47:16,803
- What are you doing down there?
- Nothing.
1913
01:47:16,836 --> 01:47:19,005
- Well, there we go.
- Congratulations, darling.
1914
01:47:19,039 --> 01:47:21,041
-To Billy.
-He was wonderful. Billy.
1915
01:47:21,074 --> 01:47:23,209
- Absolutely wonderful.
- Yes.
1916
01:47:23,243 --> 01:47:26,513
But I can tell you, I...
I knew from his glow
it was a triumph.
1917
01:47:26,546 --> 01:47:28,148
No, honestly.
1918
01:47:28,181 --> 01:47:30,116
I mean,
once you've tasted success...
1919
01:47:32,318 --> 01:47:34,154
You had literally
one song, Tom.
1920
01:47:34,187 --> 01:47:36,690
Yes, you know,
my mother always says
1921
01:47:36,723 --> 01:47:39,192
if you've got nothing nice
to say, then shut the fuck up.
1922
01:47:39,225 --> 01:47:41,061
Your mother's right,
so shut the fuck up.
1923
01:47:41,094 --> 01:47:43,096
We should never shut
the fuck up.
1924
01:47:43,129 --> 01:47:45,565
Stop telling everyone else
to shut the fuck up.
1925
01:47:45,598 --> 01:47:47,567
We can, yes.
1926
01:47:50,270 --> 01:47:52,872
- No. Come on.
- Good overtaking.
1927
01:47:52,906 --> 01:47:54,674
No, I didn't. That was him.
1928
01:47:54,708 --> 01:47:56,543
Mum. That way.
1929
01:48:03,283 --> 01:48:04,751
Mr Walliker!
1930
01:48:06,686 --> 01:48:07,854
Aren't you coming in?
1931
01:48:07,887 --> 01:48:09,856
Well, actually, I was. I...
1932
01:48:09,889 --> 01:48:11,758
I wanted to say something
to you,
1933
01:48:11,791 --> 01:48:13,259
but it's the wrong time.
1934
01:48:13,293 --> 01:48:15,662
You're there with everyone,
and...
1935
01:48:15,695 --> 01:48:18,231
I'm better with people about
4 foot tall.
1936
01:48:18,264 --> 01:48:22,035
4'1". That's my sweet spot,
as it turns out, so...
1937
01:48:23,136 --> 01:48:24,804
Where are you going?
1938
01:48:29,843 --> 01:48:32,679
Well, look, I really just wanted
to discuss Newton.
1939
01:48:32,712 --> 01:48:34,314
Newton?
1940
01:48:34,347 --> 01:48:37,350
I mean, we already covered
Newton's second law, gravity,
1941
01:48:37,384 --> 01:48:39,919
in the tree when you were
pretending not to be stuck.
1942
01:48:39,953 --> 01:48:43,790
But the one that's always
fascinated me isn't
the second law.
1943
01:48:43,823 --> 01:48:46,960
I mean, any idiot can see that
an apple's gonna fall down.
1944
01:48:46,993 --> 01:48:48,294
What's it gonna do, fall up?
1945
01:48:48,328 --> 01:48:50,597
It's a hopelessly overrated law,
the second.
1946
01:48:50,630 --> 01:48:53,800
No, the one that's always
interested me is the third law.
1947
01:48:53,833 --> 01:48:55,301
You'll know what that is.
1948
01:48:55,335 --> 01:48:56,636
Yes.
1949
01:48:56,670 --> 01:48:59,606
Of course. But go on.
1950
01:48:59,639 --> 01:49:03,143
For every action,
there's an equal
and opposite reaction.
1951
01:49:03,176 --> 01:49:05,245
It's a fundamental law
of our universe.
1952
01:49:05,278 --> 01:49:07,781
It's, uh... It's an inescapable
fact of our existence,
1953
01:49:07,814 --> 01:49:09,883
and I was coming to say that
you are...
1954
01:49:11,051 --> 01:49:14,087
this force, Mrs Darcy...
1955
01:49:15,321 --> 01:49:16,256
to me.
1956
01:49:18,191 --> 01:49:21,795
Equal and... opposite.
1957
01:49:21,828 --> 01:49:26,299
And just as Newton predicted,
it's irresistible.
1958
01:49:28,835 --> 01:49:29,803
I see it.
1959
01:49:32,105 --> 01:49:34,641
Right now, just standing here,
I feel it,
1960
01:49:34,674 --> 01:49:38,078
and it's as real to me as
the things I loved when
I was a boy
1961
01:49:38,111 --> 01:49:40,080
and first started looking at
the world.
1962
01:49:40,113 --> 01:49:42,716
You see, it's not really order
1963
01:49:42,749 --> 01:49:46,052
that we science people
fall in love with, Mrs Darcy,
1964
01:49:46,086 --> 01:49:48,121
it's the beauty in things.
1965
01:49:50,857 --> 01:49:52,125
The beauty,
1966
01:49:52,892 --> 01:49:54,227
to be specific...
1967
01:49:57,864 --> 01:49:59,199
in you.
1968
01:50:03,903 --> 01:50:05,205
Oh.
1969
01:50:06,072 --> 01:50:08,408
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
1970
01:50:08,441 --> 01:50:10,343
-I don't know what
I was thinking.
-No, no.
1971
01:50:10,377 --> 01:50:12,345
This is exactly why
I decided not to come in.
1972
01:50:12,379 --> 01:50:14,347
I've clearly got entirely
the wrong end of the--
1973
01:50:14,381 --> 01:50:15,982
-Mr Walliker...
-Look, I just want you to know
1974
01:50:16,016 --> 01:50:17,951
that this is not going to be
awkward at all. At all.
1975
01:50:17,984 --> 01:50:20,687
- Please stop talking.
- With Billy and school.
1976
01:50:20,720 --> 01:50:22,956
Let's just pretend this
never happened, please.
Let's just--
1977
01:50:39,039 --> 01:50:41,408
It was either that or a whistle,
1978
01:50:41,441 --> 01:50:44,444
and I haven't got a whistle,
Mr Walliker.
1979
01:50:46,913 --> 01:50:48,448
Call me Scott, for God's sake.
1980
01:50:50,316 --> 01:50:51,851
Yes, Mr Walliker.
1981
01:51:09,803 --> 01:51:12,906
Right, shake it, shake it,
shake it. No, go mad.
1982
01:51:12,939 --> 01:51:14,407
That's it. Now pour it out.
1983
01:51:15,475 --> 01:51:16,443
Very good.
1984
01:51:17,210 --> 01:51:19,279
Insert one cherry.
1985
01:51:19,312 --> 01:51:22,716
And that, my friends,
is how we make a Dirty Bitch.
1986
01:51:24,784 --> 01:51:28,054
Christ. That may even be
a Filthy Bitch. Pass that round.
1987
01:51:28,088 --> 01:51:30,957
Now, similar but not at all
the same,
1988
01:51:31,825 --> 01:51:33,026
the Bad Mummy.
1989
01:51:33,059 --> 01:51:34,928
Little bit of vodka.
1990
01:51:34,961 --> 01:51:36,363
-Yeah?
-Come here.
1991
01:51:36,396 --> 01:51:38,365
Okay, you're in charge.
1992
01:51:44,070 --> 01:51:45,939
Is that who I think it is?
1993
01:51:45,972 --> 01:51:48,141
So they tell me, yeah.
What do you think?
1994
01:51:48,174 --> 01:51:50,377
You have sad eyes,
angelo mio.
1995
01:51:50,410 --> 01:51:53,046
Why so sad? They make me sad.
1996
01:51:53,079 --> 01:51:54,814
I want to see the smile.
1997
01:51:54,848 --> 01:51:56,016
Stop it.
1998
01:51:56,049 --> 01:51:57,817
He's 16!
1999
01:51:57,851 --> 01:51:59,519
Yeah. Late starter.
2000
01:51:59,552 --> 01:52:01,321
Where in Italy
are you from?
2001
01:52:01,354 --> 01:52:03,189
-Bologna.
-Bologna.
2002
01:52:03,223 --> 01:52:04,391
-Yeah.
-Say it again.
2003
01:52:04,424 --> 01:52:06,226
- Bologna.
- Bologna.
2004
01:52:06,259 --> 01:52:08,128
Enzo, the kids are gonna watch
a movie upstairs. You coming?
2005
01:52:08,161 --> 01:52:09,262
He'll stay.
2006
01:52:11,031 --> 01:52:11,998
Boys.
2007
01:52:14,034 --> 01:52:15,368
I think you're proud.
2008
01:52:15,402 --> 01:52:17,237
Relief, really, Jones.
2009
01:52:17,270 --> 01:52:18,972
Kin, as you said.
2010
01:52:20,407 --> 01:52:22,075
-Enzo.
-Yeah?
2011
01:52:22,108 --> 01:52:23,410
Vieni qua.
2012
01:52:23,443 --> 01:52:25,011
-I beg your pardon.
-Okay.
2013
01:52:25,045 --> 01:52:27,113
-Ciao.
-Ciao.
2014
01:52:27,147 --> 01:52:29,049
This is your hostess
2015
01:52:29,082 --> 01:52:32,085
and one of the great loves
of your father's life,
Bridget Jones.
2016
01:52:34,954 --> 01:52:36,389
Ooh!
2017
01:52:36,423 --> 01:52:39,092
It's nice to meet you, Enzo.
2018
01:52:40,627 --> 01:52:43,296
He says it is a great honour
to meet you.
2019
01:52:43,329 --> 01:52:46,566
Oh!
2020
01:52:48,468 --> 01:52:51,137
And then he says that those are
2021
01:52:51,171 --> 01:52:53,440
very, very silly little boots.
2022
01:52:56,576 --> 01:52:58,978
You have incredible posture.
2023
01:53:00,146 --> 01:53:01,448
You're not Danish, are you?
2024
01:53:01,481 --> 01:53:03,283
Well, I can be anything
you want.
2025
01:53:03,316 --> 01:53:05,452
It is, isn't it?
I know, and it's working
really well for you,
2026
01:53:05,485 --> 01:53:07,554
but all I'm saying is maybe
it's time for a rebrand.
2027
01:53:07,587 --> 01:53:09,589
Have you ever thought about
having a pixie cut?
2028
01:53:09,622 --> 01:53:11,057
No.
2029
01:53:11,091 --> 01:53:12,392
Oh, you have the face for it.
2030
01:53:12,425 --> 01:53:14,427
And it's utterly changed
my life.
2031
01:53:14,461 --> 01:53:17,030
Nonsense, Pam.
You're perfect just as you are.
2032
01:53:17,063 --> 01:53:18,865
Is that a Dirty Bitch?
2033
01:53:19,666 --> 01:53:21,434
Steady on.
2034
01:53:21,468 --> 01:53:24,137
Oh, yes, please.
Yes, thank you very much.
2035
01:53:24,170 --> 01:53:25,939
Thanks.
2036
01:53:25,972 --> 01:53:27,440
- Just what the doctor ordered.
- -Me too.
2037
01:53:27,474 --> 01:53:30,243
-Always. Take a horn.
-Give me the fucking horn.
2038
01:53:30,276 --> 01:53:32,012
- Thank you, thank you.
- Yep.
2039
01:53:32,045 --> 01:53:35,482
- Mmm. Oh.
- Mmm. Mmm.
2040
01:53:35,515 --> 01:53:38,985
I'll be honest, I don't know
what I'd have done in the past
20 years without you lot.
2041
01:53:39,019 --> 01:53:41,521
-Twenty?
-No, it's not. It's thirty?
2042
01:53:41,554 --> 01:53:43,490
Yeah, it's more like 30 years,
to be honest.
2043
01:53:43,523 --> 01:53:45,959
We've had some fucking fun
though, haven't we?
2044
01:53:49,229 --> 01:53:50,897
We have.
2045
01:53:52,365 --> 01:53:55,935
Ten, nine, eight,
2046
01:53:55,969 --> 01:53:59,339
seven, six, five,
2047
01:53:59,372 --> 01:54:01,975
four, three,
2048
01:54:02,008 --> 01:54:04,110
two, one!
2049
01:54:04,144 --> 01:54:06,980
Happy New Year!
2050
01:54:10,984 --> 01:54:12,352
♪ ...be forgot♪
2051
01:54:12,385 --> 01:54:15,255
♪ And never brought to mind?♪
2052
01:54:15,288 --> 01:54:16,956
Happy New Year.
2053
01:54:16,990 --> 01:54:20,994
♪ Should auld acquaintance
Be forgot♪
2054
01:54:21,027 --> 01:54:25,331
♪ For the sake
Of auld lang syne?♪
2055
01:54:25,365 --> 01:54:29,569
♪ For auld lang syne, my dear♪
2056
01:54:29,602 --> 01:54:34,107
♪ For auld lang syne♪
2057
01:54:34,140 --> 01:54:38,611
♪ We'll take a cup
Of kindness yet♪
2058
01:54:38,645 --> 01:54:42,982
♪ For the sake
Of auld lang syne♪
2059
01:56:23,650 --> 01:56:25,151
I forgot to check.
2060
01:56:30,357 --> 01:56:31,291
Look.
2061
01:56:59,252 --> 01:57:00,286
Goodnight.
2062
01:57:19,406 --> 01:57:20,874
Ooh.
2063
01:57:20,907 --> 01:57:22,575
Bloody zip.
2064
01:57:27,547 --> 01:57:30,817
Bastard tyrannical dress people.
2065
01:57:35,722 --> 01:57:37,090
I've got it.
2066
01:57:40,293 --> 01:57:41,594
Thank you.
2067
01:57:47,367 --> 01:57:48,735
Happy New Year.
2068
01:57:48,768 --> 01:57:51,271
Happy New Year.
2069
01:58:32,779 --> 01:58:36,349
♪ I could go back to
The old place ♪
2070
01:58:36,383 --> 01:58:39,753
♪ And write your name
On every blank page ♪
2071
01:58:39,786 --> 01:58:43,623
♪ But it's a story now
Just a story now ♪
2072
01:58:43,656 --> 01:58:46,893
♪ Just the kind of thing that
You'd say ♪
2073
01:58:46,926 --> 01:58:50,697
♪ They say no need to
Look behind me ♪
2074
01:58:50,730 --> 01:58:54,267
♪ That I can keep you
Here beside me ♪
2075
01:58:54,300 --> 01:58:57,837
♪ To make a mess of it
To make the best of it ♪
2076
01:58:57,871 --> 01:59:02,542
♪ It isn't perfect
But it might be ♪
2077
01:59:09,883 --> 01:59:14,254
♪ There's a lot of ground
To cover ♪
2078
01:59:14,287 --> 01:59:16,956
♪ One foot and then the other ♪
2079
01:59:16,990 --> 01:59:22,395
♪ On my way, my way
To somewhere new ♪
2080
01:59:24,330 --> 01:59:27,867
♪ A few false starts
Can you forgive this ♪
2081
01:59:27,901 --> 01:59:31,338
♪ Cautious car
and just bear with it ♪
2082
01:59:31,371 --> 01:59:36,976
♪ While it does what
I thought it couldn't do ♪
2083
01:59:37,010 --> 01:59:40,847
♪ I could go back to
The old place ♪
2084
01:59:40,880 --> 01:59:44,384
♪ And write your name
On every blank page ♪
2085
01:59:44,417 --> 01:59:48,021
♪ But it's a story now
Just a story now ♪
2086
01:59:48,054 --> 01:59:51,424
♪ Just the kind of thing that
You'd say ♪
2087
01:59:51,458 --> 01:59:55,028
♪ They say no need to
Look behind me ♪
2088
01:59:55,061 --> 01:59:58,565
♪ That I can keep you
Here beside me ♪
2089
01:59:58,598 --> 02:00:02,435
♪ To make a mess of it
To make the best of it ♪
2090
02:00:02,469 --> 02:00:07,040
♪ It isn't perfect
But it might be ♪
2091
02:00:12,479 --> 02:00:14,481
♪ Mmm ♪
2092
02:00:14,514 --> 02:00:18,451
♪ Treading lightly
Thinking slightly ♪
2093
02:00:18,485 --> 02:00:21,821
♪ It just might be
It just might be ♪
2094
02:00:21,855 --> 02:00:25,358
♪ Treading lightly
Thinking slightly ♪
2095
02:00:25,392 --> 02:00:28,928
♪ It just might be
It just might be ♪
2096
02:00:28,962 --> 02:00:30,864
♪ It just might be ♪
2097
02:00:30,897 --> 02:00:34,467
♪ Oh, I can go back to
The old place ♪
2098
02:00:34,501 --> 02:00:38,071
♪ And write your name
On every blank page ♪
2099
02:00:38,104 --> 02:00:41,908
♪ But it's a story now
Just a story now ♪
2100
02:00:41,941 --> 02:00:45,378
♪ Just the kind of thing that
You'd say ♪
2101
02:00:45,412 --> 02:00:48,948
♪ That there's no need to
Look behind me ♪
2102
02:00:48,982 --> 02:00:52,585
♪ That I can keep you
Here beside me ♪
2103
02:00:52,619 --> 02:00:56,322
♪ To make a mess of it
To make the best of it ♪
2104
02:00:56,356 --> 02:01:00,794
♪ It isn't perfect
But it might be ♪
2105
02:01:04,531 --> 02:01:06,433
♪ Like it might be ♪
2106
02:01:07,834 --> 02:01:10,570
♪ Like it might be ♪
2107
02:01:12,572 --> 02:01:16,810
♪ Whoo, whoo ♪
2108
02:01:19,713 --> 02:01:23,083
♪ Might be, might be
Might be ♪
2109
02:01:34,694 --> 02:01:38,031
♪ "Have you met Miss Jones?" ♪
2110
02:01:38,064 --> 02:01:42,902
♪ Someone said as
We shook hands ♪
2111
02:01:42,936 --> 02:01:48,575
♪ She was just Miss Jones
To me ♪
2112
02:01:49,976 --> 02:01:54,114
♪ And then I said
"Miss Jones ♪
2113
02:01:54,147 --> 02:01:58,118
♪ You're a girl
Who understands ♪
2114
02:01:58,151 --> 02:02:04,424
♪ I'm a man
Who must be free" ♪
2115
02:02:04,457 --> 02:02:08,428
♪ And all at once
I lost my breath ♪
2116
02:02:08,461 --> 02:02:12,032
♪ And all at once
Was scared to death ♪
2117
02:02:12,065 --> 02:02:14,701
♪ And all at once ♪
2118
02:02:14,734 --> 02:02:21,708
♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪
2119
02:02:21,741 --> 02:02:25,979
♪ And now I've met Miss Jones ♪
2120
02:02:26,012 --> 02:02:31,851
♪ And we'll keep on meeting
'til we die ♪
2121
02:02:31,885 --> 02:02:34,487
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2122
02:02:36,756 --> 02:02:38,024
♪ Whoa, fellas ♪
2123
02:03:15,061 --> 02:03:18,898
♪ And all at once
I lost my breath ♪
2124
02:03:18,932 --> 02:03:22,869
♪ And all at once
Was scared to death ♪
2125
02:03:22,902 --> 02:03:25,505
♪ And all at once ♪
2126
02:03:25,538 --> 02:03:30,477
♪ I owned the earth and sky ♪
2127
02:03:32,112 --> 02:03:36,049
♪ Now I've met Miss Jones ♪
2128
02:03:36,082 --> 02:03:42,589
♪ And we'll keep on meeting
'til we die ♪
2129
02:03:42,622 --> 02:03:45,492
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2130
02:03:46,693 --> 02:03:48,995
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2131
02:03:50,230 --> 02:03:52,699
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2132
02:03:54,701 --> 02:04:01,574
♪ Miss Jones and I ♪
2133
02:04:05,712 --> 02:04:07,013
♪ Ha! ♪
150867
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