All language subtitles for 203. The Decapod_ing

Hello? Yes?

I was just taking a shower.
Can't it wait till the morning?

Yes. I think I found out
what you want to know.

Borb became
quite confidential,

but we better not discuss it
on the phone.

I'll meet you in the morning,
all right?

Goodbye.

- Mr. Steed?
- Yes.

I'm sorry
to keep you waiting.

That's all right.

Man:
Come in.

Excellency,
this is Mr. Steed.

To what do I owe
the pleasure?

The British
are naturally very anxious

about your security
while you are here in London.

- That's very decent of them.
- Not at all.

Not long ago
your newspapers

were calling me
the Balkan Bandit.

It's pleasant to see
you're now concerned

about my welfare.

We have an obligation
to look after you

while you're
on British territory.

This embassy
is Balkan territory

even though it is in
the royal borough of Kensington.

Mr. Steed
is particularly concerned

about the death
of the young lady.

Yes. So am I.

She was a very attractive girl.

Your ambassador tells me

that she was
your private secretary.

My ambassador is becoming
an expert at Western diplomacy.

She was staying here,
I believe.

Yes, she had one of
the residential flats upstairs.

That's where
the accident occurred.

You're quite sure
it was an accident?

I was given to understand
that she slipped

as she was getting out of
the shower and broke her neck.

Isn't that what happened,
Stepan?

That is what we assume happened,
Excellency.

Then I don't think
there is any cause for alarm.

I shouldn't like a similar
accident to happen to you.

Thank you.
I am very well-protected.

I shall use my ambassador here
as a demonstration.

Stepan, reach into your pocket
for your wallet.

I'm sure Mr. Steed
does not need convincing.

Do as I say, Stepan.

Break! Ha-ha.

And, uh, Stepan here
is my brother-in-law.

My watchdogs
arrived this morning,

and while I'm here

they will guard me
night and day,

won't they, Stepan?

Mr. Steed, I hope His Excellency
does not give the impression

we are not anxious to cooperate
on the question of security.

Whether you're anxious
or not, I must give him

maximum security
in this country.

I will cooperate
as much as I can,

but His Excellency is
a difficult person to protect.

Stepan, before I forget,

uh, get me another
private secretary.

Uh, you know
my requirements.

Your duties as ambassador
seem to be rather varied.

Yes, they are.

Woman:
♪ You've got me
in your clutches ♪

♪ And I can't get free ♪

♪ You're getting to be
a habit with me ♪

♪ Every kiss, every hug ♪

♪ Seems to act
just like a drug ♪

♪ You're getting to be
a habit with me ♪

♪ Let me stay in your arms ♪

♪ I'm addicted
to your charms ♪

♪ You're getting to be
a habit with me ♪

♪ I used to think your love was
something that I could take ♪

♪ Or leave alone ♪

♪ But now I couldn't do
without my supply ♪

♪ I need you ♪

♪ For my own ♪

♪ No, I can't break away ♪

♪ I must have you every day ♪

♪ As regularly
as coffee or tea ♪

♪ You've got me
in your clutches ♪

♪ And I can't get free ♪

♪ What can I do? ♪

♪ I'm hooked on you ♪

♪ 'Cause you're getting
to be a habit ♪

♪ With ♪

♪ Me. ♪

Well, hello.

- That was very nice.
- Thank you.

With pleasure.
May I have a word with you?

- Me?
- Yes.

Oh.

How are you?

- I'm fine.
- Good.

You fancy a tour?

- That's very kind of you.
- No, I mean a singing tour.

- Are you serious?
- All the main halls.

- Really? What's the billing?
- Solo.

- Where?
- The Balkans.

The Balkans. Huh.
Who's promoting it, you?

- No, Yakob Borb.
- Sounds like a beat poet.

What's the fee?

By arrangement.

When would he want me
to start this tour?

As soon as you can
talk him into it.

Oh, charming.
Thank you and good night.

Hey, no, wait a minute.
It's not like that.

No? Well, if it's on the level,
you have a word with my agent.

- There are reasons
I can't do that.
- Yes, I'll bet there are.

Borb's a very important man.
International reputation.

You might say a member
of the international set.

Such as who?

Had lunch with
the Prime Minister last week.

Few months ago, entertained
at the White House.

Christmas in the Kremlin.
I like your dress.

Well, how come
he's interested in me?

Well, he's not
at the moment.

Oh, great.

But I can affect
an introduction.

The rest is up to you.
Where's that young lady?

Do I get a proper contract?

Of course, but don't
let's rush it.

We may not know
if he likes you yet.

By the way, he's the minister
for film production.

Last year one of his country's
pictures won a Venice award.

I don't want to rush you.

I'm sure that Borb will have
no trouble in finding talent.

My dear, you look
more beautiful than ever.

- Thank you and keep the change.
- Thank you.

Steed: Hmm?

Well, I suppose there's no harm
in seeing the man.

I'll arrange it
for tomorrow morning.

- How's that?
- That's very sweet of you.

No, I mean, how about
tomorrow morning?

- Mm? All right.
- Oh, good.

The Balkan embassy,
Kensington, 10:30.

Yeah, just a minute.

What am I supposed to do
for this Borb character?

I mean, what numbers
go down in the Balkans?

- Folk songs?
- He'll tell you what he wants.

Just chat him up a bit.
You know how to do that.

- Don't mention my name.
- As if I would. Anything else?

Yeah, you better not mention
business at first.

Encourage him to talk,
you know.

And let me know
all the details.

Yeah, and don't tell me, hmm?
You'll be in touch.

Yes.

Good night, my dear.

Come in!

Excellency,
you have not forgotten

you have a conference
this morning?

- I don't have to leave
for another 10 minutes.
- I know, Excellency.

I wanted to make sure you and
your delegation were not late.

If you mean these two apes,
they'll be ready

when they finish their
morning exercise. Break!

Excellency, I must point out
that the embassy apartments

are hardly the place
for this type of display.

It is I who decides what
the embassy shall be used for.

Now get out!

Oh, idiot. Idiot.

Anything else you wanted,
Ambassador?

Yes, Excellency, there is
a young lady who has called.

A Miss Venus Smith.

Good. Bring her in.

Stepan: His Excellency
will see you now.

Thank you,
Ambassador.

I'm sorry. I seem
to have come at playtime.

Oh, please don't mind them.
They're just my bodyguards.

I don't see
how they can do
much bodyguarding

in that position.

You'd be surprised how quickly
they come if they try.

- Who won?
- No one wins.

This is just a friendly bout.

Uh, this, actually,
is the champion, Georgi.

Hi, Georgi.

I want Georgi to wrestle
over here in England.

I'm trying to arrange a bout for
him with one of your champions.

Perhaps
the Butcher of Islington.

It will help
to promote good relations

between our two countries,
don't you think?

Oh, yes. I'm sure
it'll do just that, yes.

Yeah. All right, boys,
get dressed.

You notice they only get dressed
one at a time.

Are they shy?

No, just obedient.

Their instructions are
that I must not be left

without a guard
even for one moment.

Wouldn't it be cheaper
to get a dog?

I'm inclined
to agree with you,

but my ambassador
doesn't think so.

Please let me take
your coat.

Thank you.

I see you have
no hidden weapons.

What a nice place
you've got here.

Please make yourself
comfortable.

- Would you like a drink?
- Oh, no, thank you.

Not before an audition.
It affects my breathing.

I beg your pardon?

Perhaps you don't want
to hear me sing at this stage.

Hear you sing?
Why, yes, of course.

I would love to hear you
sing at any time.

I wasn't sure.
I didn't bring my pianist.

- You didn't?
- No, but I've got him on...

Oh, I wouldn't bother.
I wouldn't bother.

If you like, we'll just,
uh, sit and talk.

Okay. That suits me.

Well, I suppose you want
to know something

about my experience.

I think that would be
most exciting.

Well, I...

I'm sorry to interrupt,
Excellency,

but you will be late
for the conference.

All right, I'm coming.

I'm terribly sorry,
Miss, uh...?

Smith. Oh, that's
quite all right.

Don't let me
hold you up.

Uh, please regard this suite
as your own while I'm away.

That's very nice of you,

but I ought to be
running along anyway.

I've got some shopping
to do.

If you care to give
your shopping list

to your chauffeur, he'll see
that it gets done for you.

My chauffeur? Since when
did I have a chauffeur?

You'll use one of mine
and an embassy limousine

for the duration
of your contract.

You mean
I'm engaged?

- Yes.
- But you haven't...

Please ring
if you want anything else.

Woman: Your attention, please.

The conference will begin
in 10 minutes.

An excellent conference,
don't you think, Mr. Steed?

Yes, as conferences go.

Yakob Borb was
in superb form.

I must say nothing seems
to worry him.

He's the most fearless man
I've ever met.

Everywhere in the world,
wherever he goes,

he's in danger
of assassination.

- No one trusts him.
- Hmm.

This very morning he has been
in there negotiating

£100 million worth
of economic aid from the West

in exchange for a few
of our naval bases.

Yet even now
your foreign office suspects

that in a year's time
he will offer the same bases

to another power
for another 100 million.

Will he?

Well, he may have
no alternative.

If we are to remain neutral,
we must be fair to both sides.

Quite a problem, isn't it?

International blackmail.
That's a dangerous game.

Ah, blackmail, Mr. Steed?
We are offered the aid.

You could always refuse it.

Yakob Borb
would never refuse money.

- No.
- That's not for us to judge.

We merely have to see
that nobody thinks

it would be cheaper
to get rid of His Excellency.

After all,
for all anyone knows,

you might be
his intended assassin.

Or you.

Yes.

By the way, did you get him
a new private secretary?

Yes, someone came
who seems to be suitable.

- She's at the embassy now.
- Good.

Well, I hope
she's enjoying herself.

Oh, good. Now perhaps
we can get somewhere.

Would you mind telling
your boss

I want to see him
here now, understand?

Look, give him a message.
I want to get out of here.

I've got things to do.
I don't care about the job.

Look...

Oh, go away.

- Hello.
- Steed: May I speak
to Miss Smith, please?

- Oh, it's you at last.
- How's it going?

How's it going? What is this,
a white slave kick or something?

They've got me locked up in
here, a goon outside the door.

- Oh, no, it's your imagination.
- Imagination?

I'd have smashed a window
and jumped out except
that it's four stories high.

- Now keep calm.
- Keep calm?

If I finish up in a harem,
I'm going to sue you...

- A harem?
- And another thing.

Haven't they got any baths
in this place?

Baths?
What do you mean, baths?

He rang me up half an hour ago
and said he wants me

to go to the public baths
with him tonight.

Public baths?
Well, what public baths?

- East Paddington or something.
- Oh, East Paddington.

Go along
like a good little girl.
I'll be right behind you. Bye.

Look, if he turns out
to be a...

What do you want now,
a biscuit?

I'm very sorry. May I?
I think that's my seat.

- Oh, yes.
- Terribly sorry.

Thank you very much.
Oh, dearie me.

'Ey, you're sittin'
on me coat.

- Oh, I'm frightfully sorry.
- Thank you.

It's a beautiful one, too.
I mean...

Can I help...?

Oh, I've dropped
your program.

It's not really my day,
I'm afraid.

- Oh, thank you.
- There we go.

- I can't. I simply can't.
- Oh. That's fine.

You can buy one
for sixpence, you know.

I think they ought
to be free.

- You what?
- There aren't any left.

Oh, yeah.
Oh, well, it's all right.

- You can have it.
- Can I really? Thank you.

They're probably all wrong.
They usually are.

Really?

Steed: Thank you, madam.

- Hi. Hello. Hello.
- Oh, it's you.

Well, I'm glad
somebody got here.

- Well, is that your seat?
- Yes.

- Where is he?
- Who, Borb? I don't know.

He and one of his goons
went separately by taxi.

He insisted I came in his car.
I don't know why.

- Excuse me.
- Do you mind?

- I'm having a conversation.
- Do you mind?

Oh, now look here.
You can't treat a young...

Yes? Excuse me.
Make way, please.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ladies and gentlemen,

for the first bout this evening

there will be an alteration
in your program.

- You know, this is a sign.
- Yes.

The Butcher of Islington
is unfortunately indisposed.

Crowd:
Oh-hh!

However, we have been
most fortunate

in being able
to secure for you

at very short notice

the undefeated heavyweight
champion of the Balkans,

one of the president's
personal bodyguards,

Gorgon, Wildebeest
of the Balkans!

- Get to your corner.
- Man: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Hey, that's Georgi.
- Great big Balkan burke.

Is Borb going into
the promoting business?

- What in...
- Hooray!

In Pete's name's
a Decapod?

Ten tentacles
with fish fingers.

It's like a lobster,
you know.

Man: Oh, let him go!

- Man #2: Come over here.
- Come on now. That's right.

- Man #3: Tear his mask off!
- Man #4: Take his mask off!

Oh, you mean poor old Georgi's
gonna fight that gob?

- I beg your pardon?
- Is he a favorite of yours?

- He's me old man.
- Your father?

Me husband.

Leave him alone,
you brute!

Don't worry. They're not
really hurting one another.

Are you sure?

Man: Oh!

I've never seen him
like this before!

Harry! Stop it! Harry!

You've killed him!
Harry!

What's happened?
What did they say?

Police have gone.
He got away.

Must have been a car waiting
for him or got into a taxi.

If you don't mind
my asking, Mr., uh...

- Steed.
- Steed.

What is your interest,
anyway?

My interest was
in the other one.

The Balkan boy.
You are his manager?

More or less.

I'm very sorry
about your boy.

He shouldn't have
done that.

I've never known the Decapod
to behave like that.

I just don't know why
he did it.

- Perhaps Mrs., uh...
- His real name was Ramsden.

Perhaps Mrs. Ramsden
can help us.

I don't know where he is,
and that's the gospel truth.

Does he often lose
his temper?

Lose his temper?
Harry was as gentle as a lamb.

Do many of your boys
practice judo?

Judo? The death chop
is no part of judo.

It comes
from what we call karate,

the ancient samurai art
of killing.

- That blow is illegal,
isn't it? Even in Japan.
- Yes.

So your Harry knew what he was
doing when he killed Georgi.

My Harry
never practiced judo.

I've never seen him
like that before.

I don't care
what either of you say.

Don't believe he'd
deliberately kill anyone.

Try not to worry, Mrs. Ra...
Yes, I'm coming.

Mrs. Ramsden,
if Harry turns up here,

I will look after him.

- Excuse me.
- Mm-hmm.

Look, if you find Harry,
let me know.

You can trust me.

- What do you want with him?
- I think I can help him.

You can get me
via this club.

If I'm not there,
ask for a Miss Venus Smith.

- Man: Mr. Steed?
- Okay?

Come in.

Well?

Uh, Venus.
How nice to see you again.

I've been trying
to find you all day.

Then of course I remembered you
said you're working in a club.

I got the message.

And, uh, where have you
been all day?

Where have I been?

What happened to you
last night?

You asked me to meet you
at this Bear Pit place,

and then you don't show up.

I really am
very, very sorry.

You do know what happened,
I suppose?

To Georgi? Yes.

It must have been
a fantastic fight.

Just how many bodyguards
do you get through in a week?

Believe me, I am very sorry
for Georgi.

Oh, yes, I can see that.

It's difficult to explain.
Oh, come now, Venus.

Let's talk
about more pleasant things.

I have a surprise for you.

You want me to fight
the Butcher of Islington?

No, no.

I have a present for you.

I had them flown in
this morning

from my own nurseries
especially for you.

- But they're beautiful.
- I thought you'd like them.

Perhaps you better save them
for poor old Georgi's funeral.

Oh, there are plenty more.
Please accept them.

All right. How am I
going to get them home?

I shall have them taken straight
to your flat... upstairs.

What flat upstairs?

I think it will be
much more convenient

if you lived in the embassy,
don't you think?

Really, I only live
a bus ride away.

Thank you all the same.

I take it
he does double duty now?

Yes, for a few days until
my ambassador replaces Georgi.

Please sit down.
Would you like a drink?

Oh, no, thank you.
My breathing.

Oh, yes, of course.
You sing.

That's right.

I must come down to your club
and hear you some evening.

- Come tonight if you like.
- I should love to.

Perhaps you would allow me
to take you out to dinner

- first of all, hmm?
- And be stood up again?

What happened last night?

I'm afraid you might find it
a bit difficult to believe.

You can always try.
I've heard most excuses.

Well, I had a warning
at the last moment

that something was going
to happen at the Baths.

- What sort of warning?
- Just a voice on the telephone

that told me to keep away
and then rung off.

Why didn't you warn Georgi
to stay away as well?

There was no time.

In any case, I didn't think
he was in any danger.

But the interesting thing is

that apart from Ito,
the wrestling promoter,

only my two bodyguards
and yourself

knew I was going
to the Baths last night.

Uh, they don't speak English
and that only leaves you.

Leaves me to what?

To tell someone I was going
to the Baths last night.

Did you?

I don't think so,

but if I did, I didn't know
there was any harm in it.

Well, now, you see
how careful one has to be?

Wh-what time is your show
this evening?

Oh, not till 11:00.

Well, I suggest
we go and find

a nice quiet restaurant
and enjoy ourselves.

What do you say?

Only if you're quite sure
it's safe to go out.

I'm quite sure no one
would want to harm you.

In any case, we still have
one faithful watchdog left.

According to the pathologist's
report on Georgi,

his neck injuries
were almost exactly the same

as those found on that girl,

the one who, uh, slipped
in the shower.

Oh, yes?

So I think it's safe
to assume

that the same person
killed them both.

- I'd already assumed that.
- Oh.

I say, who was
that poor girl phoning

just before she was killed?

How do you know
she was phoning anyone?

After you left, I took
a little surveying look

around the embassy.

There were traces of soap
on the telephone.

Then you checked
with the switchboard.

Ah-hh.
Yes.

There were no
external calls
at that time,

so it must have
been internal

and didn't come
through the switchboard.

Difficult to trace.

Mm-hmm. Let's look at it
another way.

There was first the girl,
then a bodyguard,

but no one's had a go
at Borb.

What are they trying to do,
isolate him so he's easier
to assassinate?

- Maybe just a warning.
- A warning?

To force him to walk
out of the conference.

- Mm.
- Either way, it will be
all the same to Borb.

It will just amuse him.

He's got a heightened sense
of fun.

That has only come
in recent years.

Up until then, he was
a dedicated revolutionary

with a fine sense
of responsibility.

But power corrupts.

Absolute power, yes.

What's this obsession
with, uh, with wrestling, eh?

Once when he was in jail... that
was before we came to power...

He shared a cell
with a wrestler

and became
an aficionado,

and he's kept it up
ever since.

Woman:
Calling Mr. Steed.

Calling Mr. Steed.
Mr. Steed is wanted...

Excuse me.

I must go back
to the embassy myself

and wipe my telephone.

- Hello. Steed.
- Oh, there you are.

Look, I thought you promised
to stick around.

- Why? What's the matter?
- Nothing's the matter yet.

It's just that whenever I go
out with Borb, I'm nervous.

- Borb? Where is he?
- He's here with me in the club.

Oh-oh, here's laughing boy.
Look, I've got to get back.

You'd better get down here.
Someone wants to talk to you.

- Who is it?
- A friend of yours. Female.

Come on, boy. Heel.

- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, hello.
You all right?

- All right.
- Good.

You wanted to see me.

Come in here
round the back.

I say, Cloaks, what time
does the cabaret start?

Mrs. Ramsden: 1:00, sir.

Oh, good show. I thought
we might have missed it.

You're new here, aren't you?

Yes, sir.

- I'm Harry Ramsden.
- Oh, the Decapod.

Aye. Edna said
you wanted to see me.

Yeah, I want you
to do something for me.

Do what?

How much did Ito pay you
to kill the Balkan?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I'll pay you double to do
the same thing for me.

- To...
- Yes, to kill somebody.

Put him down, Harry.
Told you, you can
trust him.

He never killed anyone.
He wasn't even there
last night.

- Shut up.
- Just as I thought.

- If it wasn't you, who was it?
- Go on. Tell him, Harry.

I don't know.
I never saw a bloke.

I was just told
to keep me mouth shut

and keep out of the way
till it were all over.

I told him to go to the police.

Man: I say, Cloaks,
any service?

How long
have you known Ito, Harry?

Well, ever since
he first come over here.

I were one of the first
wrestlers he signed up.

Where'd he come from, Japan?

No, he hadn't been in Japan
since before the war.

He were in... I forget now.

Somewhere t'other side
of Europe.

- The Balkans?
- Ah, that's right.

- He run a gym there one time.
- How much did Ito pay you
for a fight?

- 'Bout £6.
- And how often did you fight?

Once a week, sometimes twice.

- Not much to keep a wife on.
- Well, we're regular.

How old are you, Harry?

There's a lot of blokes as old
as me still doing all right.

Uh, uh, just a minute.

Edna said you might be able
to do something for me.

- Where are you staying?
- She knows.

I'll be in touch.

Oh, don't worry, luv.

♪ Never treats me ♪

♪ Sweet and gentle ♪

♪ The way he should ♪

♪ I got it bad ♪

♪ And that ain't good ♪

♪ My poor heart
is sentimental ♪

♪ Not made of wood ♪

♪ I got it bad ♪

♪ And that ain't good ♪

♪ But when
the weekend's over ♪

♪ And Monday
rolls around ♪

♪ I end up ♪

♪ Like I start out ♪

♪ Just cryin' ♪

♪ My heart out ♪

♪ Lord above me ♪

♪ Make him love me ♪

♪ The way that he should ♪

♪ I got it bad ♪

♪ And that ♪

♪ Ain't ♪

♪ Good. ♪

I'm so glad you've turned up.
I'll take you to see Edna.

I've already seen her.
Thanks for giving her a job.

Oh, think nothing of it.
What about mine?

Well, you're fine.
He looked enraptured.

Get straight back to him.
Strike while the iron is hot.

Fine. He was so enraptured,
he's left.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Edna?

Edna?

- What's happened?
- Look, where have you been?

In the club.

What's happened to him?
Shall I get an ambulance?

Don't worry about that.
Get the police. Go on.

Szarko.

He's here.

I sent him
to get my coat.

I waited so long,
I came to see why.

Well, he's the last
of your bodyguards.

I think I'd better
see you home.

Yes.

And, uh, so with the acceptance
by the Western delegates

of this final clause relating
to terms of payment...

That is to say the transference
of £10 million in sterling

into a Swiss bank
for immediate use

in making European purchases...

I am very pleased to say
that we are now ready

to sign the agreement
without any further reservation.

Good job, then.

Congratulations.

Thank you, Mr. Steed.

You drove a hard bargain
on that final clause.

£10 million in cash?

I have a responsibility
to my country.

Credit transfers
are all very well,

but when I negotiate
a contract,

I like to get as much
as possible in cash.

It's safer that way,
don't you think?

You're signing the agreement
this afternoon?

Yes. Your foreign office
has rushed it through.

They seem rather anxious
to get rid of me.

- I'm sure you will be, too.
- I don't know.

Rather dull without you.
You going home tonight?

His Excellency prefers
to travel by day.

He will leave
tomorrow morning.

Yes. It will give me
a few hours to enjoy
your beautiful city.

I'll be happy
to show you around.

Thank you.
I have a good guide book.

I'll be with you
just the same.

Really? Am I to understand
that you are taking over

the role
of my personal bodyguard?

That's right,
until your plane leaves.

- You think I'm still in danger?
- Yes.

Oh. In that case,
we shall be very careful.

Won't we, Stepan?

Cool it.

Hi, Edna.

Could I see you
for a minute?

Sure.
Won't be a moment, Dave.

- What is it?
- It's my Harry.

I knew where he was supposed
to be stayin' last night,

- and he never went back.
- Last night? But...

Yes. He was there just
before that fella got killed,

and he never went back.

Look, don't you think
you'd better go for the police?

I don't know.
I just don't know anymore.

He were a good wrestler.

He were champion in the north
till the young ones came along,

and then they didn't
want him anymore.

Then this fellow Ito signed
him up, and he was so grateful.

- He'd do anything for him.
- Well, Edna, I'd like to help...

I thought perhaps
your friend would help.

- I'm sure he will if he can.
- If he could find him

before the police do, before
he gets into any more trouble,
that's all I want.

- I'll talk to him.
- Excuse me.

Venus, you're wanted
on the phone, darling.

All right. Don't worry.
He'll show up.

- Who is it, Dave?
- Your boyfriend.

Oh.

Ah, Venus, how nice
to hear your voice again.

Are you engaged at the moment?

Oh, I'm sure rehearsals
can wait.

I can explain all that.

Please. Listen, I have
so little time here in London.

That's better.

I shall send my car
round for you.

I recognize those legs.

I've been looking for you
all afternoon.

Shh. What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Did you know that Harry Ramsden
was at the club last night?

- Yes, I did.
- You did?

I've just been talking
to his wife.

- He's disappeared again.
- Yeah, I thought he'd do that.

Is that what's worrying you?

Of course that's
what's worrying me.

It's dangerous, isn't it,
with him out on the loose?

Might be me
that gets bumped off next.

I've got my eye on you.

- Hey.
- Hmm?

Don't be rough on Borb.

He's just about ready
with that contract.

You'd better be right.
And don't go away.

I wouldn't dream of it.

Come in.

Somebody sick?

What?

Oh, forget it.

Thank you.

Please sit down.

I see you have
a new bodyguard.

I should be careful
what I say to him.

Why?

Although I may seem indifferent,

I'm very concerned
that two of my fellow countrymen

died protecting me.

Well, I'm glad of that,
but where does he fit in?

He was present
on both occasions.

Why have you asked me round?

Oh, uh, I hate being alone.

One way or another, you've had
a pretty bad time lately.

Well, there are
compensations.

Ah, ah, ah. Never mix business
with pleasure.

Business?

Yes, I think this is
about the moment. Right.

You're supposed to be
fixing me up with a tour.

- Who told you this?
- A friend.

You're supposed to be
fixing me up with a tour

of the Balkans,
singing.

Well, my dear Venus,

I'm afraid your friend
has misinformed you.

- I'm not an impresario.
- You're not?

No, of course not.

I'm afraid your friend
has made a mistake.

You're dead right
he's made a mistake.

And I'm going to see
about it now.

Oh, please.
Please don't go.

Look, we're obviously all under
some sort of misunderstanding.

Oh, please, please.
What does it matter?

I enjoy so much being
with you.

And in any case,
I'll be going home soon.

Well, I want to go
to rehearsal.

Please. Please,
just for today?

Incidentally, you-you
mentioned a tour.

Well, strangely enough,

that's exactly
what I was considering

just before you came in.

Have you ever been
to Switzerland?

Not recently.

Well, I have to go there
for a few days

just for some financial matters,
and then I want to go

to Monte Carlo,
Venice, Palm Springs.

I want to go
to all the most exciting

holiday resorts in the world,

and I want you
to come with me.

Me? But are you sure?

I mean, there must be so many
other girls in your life.

I want you to come with me.

Yes, but, I mean...

You don't have to
decide now.

I shall order tea,

and then I'd like to
take you out for the evening.

Let's see if my new bodyguard

can make tea
as well as his predecessors.

Well.

It seems our Mr. Steed

is not such an efficient
watchdog after all.

You know you have to have
a license to carry guns here?

I have one.

You wanted to see me
about something?

Yeah, if you want
to bump off Yakob Borb,

why not do it
in your own country?

Is he too popular there

or is it some kind
of personal vendetta?

I've arranged for you
to be arrested

as soon as you leave
the building.

You couldn't hold me.

I know. You can go as soon
as Borb leaves the country.

We're not interested in him
after that. You ready?

You don't think I am going to
walk out of the building

and be arrested?

Please yourself.
Stay here if you want.

You won't be allowed
to leave it.

Steed.

If I wanted to kill Yakob Borb,

I could have done it
a dozen times over.

But you had to get rid
of his bodyguards first, eh?

His guards.
They were employed by me.

They took their instructions
only from me.

- What sort of instructions?
- Oh, that doesn't concern you.

Now, look, can't you
start trusting me?

You just told me
I was trying to kill Borb.

I had to force you
out of your shell.

Now, why'd you put
those guards on Borb?

To keep him from escaping.

He got tired of his post
about 12 months ago,

and he's been looking for
a chance to escape ever since.

Couldn't he just resign?

No, I can't see Yakob Borb
playing the rich playboy

in our country.

No, to do that, he would
have to come to the West.

He might even do it.
He can always apply
for political asylum.

I don't think he'll have
much opportunity.

- Why not?
- He's too well-guarded.

Still?

Still.

- Ito?!
- Yes?

I must say I like
your idea of taking me
out for the evening.

I'm terribly sorry.
It won't take long.

Just a little business
to conclude.

Ah, Ito.

Venus, I'd like you to meet
a very good friend of mine.

Ito, from the old days.

Once, we shared
a prison cell together.

Oh.

Uh, would you see
to the chauffeur, please?

Yes. Excuse me.

Oof!

Hey, what's the big idea?

Please, don't be alarmed.
Ito won't hurt him.

But what has he done wrong?

He was being paid by my
ambassador to spy on me.

Look, do you mind
telling me what's going on?

Before I do...

would you give me an answer

to the question I asked you
this afternoon?

- Will you come with me?
- But it's not as easy as that.

I thought you'd care
for me.

Well, I do. I really do now that
I've got to know you, but...

- Why do you hesitate?
- Just that it's all so sudden.

For a start,
I haven't got a passport.

Mrs. Jacob Smith?

And Mr. Jacob Smith.

Uh, I took the liberty
of borrowing your surname.

Yes, but where did you get this?
It's even got my photo in it.

Ooh, we have a facility
for this type of thing

at the embassy.

Look, Mr. Borb, before we go
any further with this,

I don't know what the customs
are like in your...

Before you go any further,
I have booked two seats

on a plane leaving for Geneva
in two hours

and two suites booked
on arrival...

Yes, now that's...

In different hotels.

Um, I am also providing you

with a little spending money,

so you can always come back
if you want to.

Now what do you say?

I should have to phone
my landlady and cancel the milk.

Please do. The phone is
in the office.

Ito will show you
the way.

- If you please.
- This way.

But I don't have
any clothes.

I shall buy you the most
expensive outfit in Geneva.

Miss Venus.

We seem to have lost him
in spite of your guards.

I should never have left
the embassy. Neither should you.

He'll be at the airport,
first plane to Switzerland.

If so, the new chauffeur
will phone me.

There is a radio telephone
in the car.

Let's hope he gets the chance.

Yep. Uh-huh. I'll be there
in a few minutes.

No need to worry.

He's at the Baths
round the corner.

If you don't mind,
you'll stay here.

Oh, thank you.

- Did you get through?
- Yes, thank you.

How long will it be
before he gets here?

Before who gets here?

Your friend Steed.

I exactly the same trouble
with the other young lady,

the one that had the "accident,"

only she used to report
to my ambassador.

Why should I want
to report on you?

Now we shall just have to wait
for Mr. Steed.

What do you want him for?

When you're trying
to shake off a bodyguard,

the first essential is
to know where he is.

Otherwise you can't be sure
if you have shaken him off.

How do you know I won't scream
all the way to the plane?

Because I shall be beside you
all the way.

This is what we call
a nerve spot.

There are a dozen others
on your body I can reach
in less than a second.

With any one of them
I can render you senseless

before you can even cry out.
You see?

Ah, it's Mr. Steed.

We were expecting you!

You'll have to come
and get me, Mr. Steed.

If that's what you want.

Oof!

No!

Thanks, Harry.
Thanks for the call.

All right.

Oh, my knee!

- I demand asylum!
- That's fine.

We can charge you
with triple murder.

In that case, I-I demand to be
returned to my own country.

I don't think that
will help you much more.

Your countrymen are not
gonna be very pleased

when they find
that you have embezzled

£10 million
for your own use.

Stepan:
Yakob.

Is that true?

I negotiated it!

Without me,
there would have been no loan!

No, Yakob! No!

You know what I must do now.

If I don't,
somebody else will,

and I don't want that
to happen.

Get to your feet, Harry.
Please take him out of here.

And call the police
on the way out.

Good thing
I came along, eh?

How did you know
we were here?

I had Harry tailing you.

He phoned me at the embassy.

I thought you might not get
a chance to phone.

But I did.
I phoned my landlady.

Your landlady?

To stop the milk.

I'm sorry
it didn't work out.

Are you?

You knew from the start
it would never work out,

that there was going to be
no tour, no contract.

You left me alone
with this man that was a...

I've said I'm sorry.

All right,
but don't do it again.

Well, as if I would.