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00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,336
ECHOING VOICE: What is the fu--
What is the fu--
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00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,171
♪ What is the future... ♪
3
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:07,424
♪ What is the fu--
What is the fu-- ♪
4
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,050
♪ What is the future? ♪
5
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:12,053
{\an8}(theme song playing)
6
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,888
{\an8}♪ What is the future... ♪
7
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:40,165
♪
8
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,333
News! Bad!
9
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,585
We're bankrupt.
10
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:47,297
{\an8}Oh, I borrowed money to
invest in Bitcoin.
11
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:50,675
{\an8}Then the price crashed,
and I sold at a huge loss.
12
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:52,135
We're ruined!
13
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:55,764
Oh, sorry. I didn't realize
you were watching TV.
14
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:59,267
The tragic impact
destroyed the planet Klarg,
15
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:02,187
along with its 50 billion inhabitants.
16
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,563
{\an8}(laughs)
17
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,066
{\an8}In other news, Morbo,
guess what's back?
18
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,942
{\an8}- The planet Klarg?
- Nope!
19
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,694
{\an8}The price of Bitcoin!
20
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,779
Uh, wha?!
21
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,363
The virtual "money"
22
00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:14,074
is soaring once again,
23
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,493
leading to a high-tech
gold rush.
24
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:19,079
{\an8}Prospectors are heading west,
where cheap,
25
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,873
{\an8}filthy electricity beckons
the desperate.
26
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,709
{\an8}This gives me a
desperate idea!
27
00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,294
{\an8}Haven't you learned
that Bitcoin
28
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:28,588
{\an8}is just a pyramid
scheme for rubes?
29
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,340
{\an8}Yes, and my plan
30
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,884
{\an8}is to exploit those rubes!
31
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:33,968
(click, beeping)
32
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,804
You see, the new mining chips
33
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,931
are made from element 81,
34
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:41,309
thallium, a rare element
found out west.
35
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,436
{\an8}I plan to actually mine it,
36
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,481
{\an8}then sell it to the
Bitcoin "miners."
37
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,317
{\an8}It's a sure way to repay
my loan brokers.
38
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,777
(all gasp)
39
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:51,861
(dramatic sting)
40
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:55,156
Yo. We're also leg brokers.
41
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,075
Goodbye, Robot Mafia!
42
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,077
♪
43
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,578
(zooming)
44
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:01,871
(electricity fizzling)
45
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,790
The Bitcoin mines are using
46
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,834
such colossal amounts of power
47
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,002
that it's ionizing
the atmosphere.
48
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:11,297
We'll need to land
and drive the rest of the way.
49
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,675
I'll set her down on
the Donner trail.
50
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:18,012
(Wild West-esque music)
51
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,722
It's a good thing we
brought the oxen.
52
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,182
Usually, we don't.
53
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,767
I've never been
out west before,
54
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,770
but I'm learning a lot from these
Borax Kid action books.
55
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,438
{\an8}MAXWELL'S DEMON:
I'm robbing this vault
56
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,941
{\an8}and ain't no ionic compound
gonna stop me!
57
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,901
{\an8}- (gun cocks)
- BORAX KID: Freeze, Maxwell's Demon.
58
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,445
{\an8}I'd advise you to drop
those gold molecules.
59
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,072
{\an8}MAXWELL'S DEMON: The Borax Kid!
60
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,366
{\an8}I'm gonna pump you
full of lead.
61
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,285
{\an8}(gunshots)
62
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,496
You know, 'round these parts,
folks don't think things.
63
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,540
They reckon them.
And instead of an idiot,
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00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,458
I'll be known as a galoot!
65
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:51,462
- Isn't this scenery spectacular, Dwight?
- Uh-huh.
66
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:54,257
Your mother thought you'd enjoy
some fresh air for once.
67
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,134
- (video game beeping)
- She sure was wrong.
68
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,887
Well, anyway, I'm really
looking forward
69
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,347
to some quality father-son time.
70
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,682
With who?
71
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,684
(video game beeping stops)
72
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,854
(grandiose music)
73
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,397
Ah, crypto country.
74
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:12,025
There's thallium in
them thar hills!
75
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,527
Priceless, toxic thallium.
76
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,531
Um, is this thallium?
77
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,575
- (teeth crack)
- (smacking lips)
78
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,244
Oh my, yes! High-grade ore!
79
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,580
Um, Professor? Toxic.
80
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,166
Relax. They're my
prospecting teeth.
81
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:29,876
(chattering)
82
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,544
(lisping): Oh, quit
your chattering.
83
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,754
We're almost there.
84
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,673
(Western-style music)
85
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,259
Welcome to Doge City!
86
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,386
Looks like you got
seven hornswogglers
87
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,804
and a galoot!
88
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,182
♪
89
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:46,017
Woo-hoo! We made it!
90
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,353
It's pretty lawless out here
in crypto country,
91
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,063
so put on your protective headgear.
92
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,190
♪
93
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,358
(video game beeping)
94
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,652
Hiya!
95
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,238
(groaning, grunts)
96
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:05,662
{\an8}♪
97
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,332
{\an8}- (horse snorts)
- (roadrunner meeps)
98
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,917
{\an8}Kind of old-fashioned
99
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,586
{\an8}for a town built on
high-speed computation.
100
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,964
Well, every watt
of electricity
101
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,591
goes to the Bitcoin
mining computers.
102
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,884
For everyone else,
103
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,971
it's practically like living
in the Old West.
104
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,973
Old West. Got it.
105
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,850
Until we stake our claim
and strike it rich,
106
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,811
keep in mind, we're bankrupt.
107
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:33,481
So we'll all need to do
Old West stuff to get by.
108
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,441
Old West. Got it.
109
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,361
(saloon tack piano playing)
110
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,780
(quiet saloon chatter)
111
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,246
Welcome, friends.
What'll you have?
112
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,957
Your freest beverage.
We're very poor.
113
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:54,877
Gotcha. I'll just mix all the unfinished
drinks together and start a tab.
114
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,214
- She seems nice.
- At times, yes.
115
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,301
Though her mood fluctuates
like the price of Bitcoin.
116
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:03,219
(yells)
117
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,763
And don't come back
till you settle your tab!
118
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,474
Though, I do regret hurting you.
I tell you what.
119
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,893
Go see the girls in
the back room. It's on me.
120
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,395
- Girls?
- Yep.
121
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,273
Delilah runs a house
of ill repute in back.
122
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,358
"Ill"? You mean a hospital?
123
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,735
I mean a cathouse.
124
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,819
A pet store?
125
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:20,903
A brothel.
126
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,363
A soup kitchen?!
127
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,699
Yeah. A soup kitchen.
128
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,909
- (maniacal laugh)
- (gunshots, man yelling)
129
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:29,996
(intimidating Western music)
130
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,832
Whoa! Who's that?
131
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,626
A psychotic killer,
that's who! Get down!
132
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,588
Hey, Roberto!
What's with the piece?
133
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,298
I thought you were more
of a knife guy.
134
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,884
Out here in the West,
I need something shootier.
135
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:46,179
Like this gun-knife
I invented-stole!
136
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,222
Where's that beer
I ordered-didn't order?!
137
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,892
You didn't order a-- (yelps)
138
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:54,520
Say, you're new in town
and low on cash.
139
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,897
You interested in a job
140
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,857
as a barmaid
and/or a prostitute?
141
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:01,778
Um, I'm not sure Leela
has the skills to be a barmaid.
142
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,112
Gimme the tray!
143
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,406
(horse whinnying)
144
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,284
Alright, up next,
our final item.
145
00:06:08,284 --> 00:06:10,620
This burro is in near-mint
condition.
146
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,163
Perfect for hauling Bitcoin,
147
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,040
light housework,
or just abusing.
148
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,625
Bidders? Bidders?
Do I have any bidders?
149
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,877
Twelve-millionths
of a Bitcoin!
150
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,463
Twelve micro-Bitcoin.
Do I hear 13? Thirteen, 13?
151
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,881
Not from me, you don't!
152
00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:24,884
Fifteen! I always wanted to
own a racehorse.
153
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,427
That's a donkey, Bender.
154
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:28,930
Donkeys are just ugly horses, Amy.
155
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,140
- (bell clangs)
- Sold to the zoologist over there!
156
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,893
Oh! I'm gonna call him Rusty.
157
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,895
Good 'cause that's his name!
158
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,897
♪
159
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,941
(birds chirping)
160
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,777
Ah! This looks like
a good place to make camp.
161
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,571
Doesn't it look like
a good place to make camp?
162
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,366
It looks stupid.
This whole trip is stupid.
163
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,700
You're stupid, Pops!
164
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,037
I appreciate your constructive
criticism, son.
165
00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,997
I wish Roberto were my dad.
166
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:58,084
He's cooler than a green snake
smoking a sugar cane vape.
167
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,795
No self-respecting green snake
would do that!
168
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,004
(imitating Roberto's laugh)
169
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:05,091
(triumphant Western music)
170
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,430
- (clank)
- Kind sir, could you assay this nugget?
171
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:14,392
By my tooth test,
I estimate it's 0.3% thallium.
172
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:18,354
Tooth test? (cackles)
Balderweeds.
173
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,149
Let's see what
my metallurgical analyzer says.
174
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,068
(chomp, beeping, ding)
175
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,112
ANALYZER: 0.3% thallium.
176
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,655
Hoo-hoo, boy!
177
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,324
I'll give you 100 micro-Bitcoin
for it.
178
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:32,243
But weed a million
times that amount
179
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,703
or we're gonna get clamped!
180
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,664
(cackles) Robot Mafia, huh? Eh.
181
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,374
Well, maybe there's
some thallium
182
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,042
in that there chassis of yours.
183
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,752
(whirring, clanking)
184
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,088
Assay my shiny metal ass!
185
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,756
- (chomps)
- (yelps)
186
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,008
(beeping, buzz)
187
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:50,803
ANALYZER: 0.0000...
188
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,930
Tain't even worth melting down.
189
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,683
Well then, perhaps my ass
might be of value to you
190
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,059
in some other way?
191
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,812
Eh, it might make
a good frying pan,
192
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,482
but fried food makes
me cackle. (cackles)
193
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,400
We'll just sell you the nugget.
194
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,486
{\an8}- (whoosh)
- (cash register dings)
195
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,490
May I ask who turns
the thallium into microchips?
196
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,492
I'm an all-in-one operation.
197
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,578
My motto is,
"He who smelts it, dealts it!"
198
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,455
- (clattering)
- (beeping, squish)
199
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,210
(ding)
200
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,796
Pop one of those in
a high-end server, and blam!
201
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,299
- You're mining crypto.
- (ding)
202
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:31,302
Ooh, lookie there!
Found another Bitcoin!
203
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:33,346
- (beep)
- Aw, dog dumplings.
204
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,181
It's just a danged Ethereum.
205
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,850
♪
206
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,143
{\an8}(door creaks)
207
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:40,811
{\an8}Hello, I'm Zoidberg.
208
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,688
Like you, I'm a doctor.
209
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:45,441
So, uh,
what's your survival rate?
210
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,735
Pretty high.
I'm a psychiatrist.
211
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:50,363
Got a patient coming 'round
for anger management about now.
212
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,531
(door opens)
213
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,034
Hiya, Doc.
Boy, it's been a stressful week.
214
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,953
What's with the jumbo prawn?
215
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,205
A colleague.
Mind if he sits in?
216
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,873
Yes, I do mind!
217
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,001
I value doctor-patient
confidentiality!
218
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,836
(screaming)
219
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,755
- Patang!
- DOCTOR: Ah!
220
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:08,881
(thud)
221
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,100
(saloon tack piano playing)
222
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,434
So, how's business?
223
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:23,312
Disappointing.
I only got 30 cents in tips
224
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,606
and one request to visit
the back room.
225
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,693
I mean, I wouldn't go,
but it's nice to be asked.
226
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,362
Can you think of anything
I can do to look sluttier?
227
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:33,364
Nope. (gasps)
228
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,032
Look! The Borax Kid!
229
00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,951
And his sidekick Mumbles!
230
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,661
You know he's not
actually a hero
231
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,954
like in his books, right?
232
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,915
He's a poker cheat
and a low-down base mineral.
233
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,751
Wow. The Borax Kid.
234
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,628
Excuse me, Mr. Kid.
235
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:48,963
My name is Fry,
236
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,215
and I'm a big fan of
your young adult adventures.
237
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,509
Oh, really?
Uh, do you play poker?
238
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,928
Yeah, but I was warned
not to play poker with you.
239
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,180
Well, then how about a hand
of Colorado Chump?
240
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,765
As long as it's not poker.
241
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,477
So what are you doing here?
242
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,896
Fighting evil or just
helping townspeople?
243
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:07,815
Not much money in
helping folks.
244
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,610
Double chump. You lose.
245
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,404
ROBERTO:
I heard the Borax Kid's in town.
246
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,156
Come on out here, Kid!
247
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,450
Mumbles, go see
what all that fuss is about.
248
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,869
And wear my signature hat.
249
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,246
(mumbling)
250
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,874
- (gunshots)
- ROBERTO: Pa-pow-pow!
251
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,880
Mumbles is dead!
252
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,632
(mumbling)
253
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,968
Don't argue with me, Mumbles.
I'm the town doctor.
254
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,639
Well, shucks. My sidekicks
seem to be dying right regular.
255
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,557
And in gruesome fashion.
256
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,059
Care to be my new sidekick?
257
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,811
Really? Do I get to die in
your next book?
258
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:46,896
Page three.
259
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,106
Then you got yourself
a galoot.
260
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:53,277
♪
261
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,780
Nice camp. Is this my tent?
262
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,782
No. You only come
in to tidy up.
263
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,118
There's just enough room for me
and my private library there.
264
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,787
Can I sleep in the library?
265
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,748
I'd like to say yes,
but then it wouldn't be private.
266
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,251
♪
267
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,170
This place has too
much outdoors!
268
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,172
It's all bugs and no Wi-Fi.
269
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,299
Don't get your dreads
in a knot, son.
270
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:16,759
Any more than they're
supposed to be.
271
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,178
How about a father-son
limbo break?
272
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,972
I hate limbo, Dad!
Limbo is stupid.
273
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:26,102
Limbo stupid?
Where did I go wrong?
274
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,229
Probably when you
took up limbo.
275
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,731
From what I'm hearing,
it's stupid.
276
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:34,110
Bender! Where are the shovels
I asked you to pack?
277
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,611
Oh, you said shovels?
278
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,863
I thought you said
take a break and do nothing.
279
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,574
Hm. Then we'll just have
to find thallium
280
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,619
the old-fashioned way.
By panning.
281
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,371
Panning? With what?
282
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,669
(sighs) Sometimes,
I think a detachable ass
283
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:54,880
is more a curse than a blessing.
Come on, Rusty.
284
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,882
(clopping)
285
00:11:56,882 --> 00:12:00,136
♪
286
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,138
♪ We're just a guy
with no ass ♪
287
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,432
♪ And his ass ♪
288
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:08,352
♪ Assin' it up under
an asinine sky ♪
289
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:12,314
♪ Assin' to the tumbleweeds
as we ass by ♪
290
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,442
♪ Yodeling a cowboy tune ♪
291
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,776
♪ But, not yet! ♪
292
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:19,530
♪ People sass me
on my ass as we pass ♪
293
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:23,451
♪ They say, wouldn't it be
better if my ass rode me? ♪
294
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,745
♪ They tell me I outweigh
my ass ♪
295
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,663
♪ By a factor of three ♪
296
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,957
♪ So, I punch 'em and
I kick their ♪
297
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,501
♪ Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo ♪
298
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:35,963
(harmonizing braying)
299
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,340
♪ Ass, butt, rear-end, ass ♪
300
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,884
♪ Yodel-ay hee hoo-- ♪
301
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,469
- (bones crack)
- (yelps)
302
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,971
- What the? Rusty! No!
- (mournful bray)
303
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,223
- (both screaming)
- (crash)
304
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:49,727
Oh, why didn't I listen
to my own song?!
305
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,813
(playing tack piano,
rollers rattling)
306
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:57,151
Get yourself tuned
or get outta town,
307
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,903
you overgrowed teletype machine.
308
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,738
(cackling)
309
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,823
Eh, shut your cackling trap!
310
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,408
- (cackling)
- (clanging)
311
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:05,910
Cram that racket!
312
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,788
This is a nice, quiet saloon
with attached bordello.
313
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,875
You handle the menfolk
pretty well.
314
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,585
But mess with my
customers again,
315
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,587
and I'll kill you in your sleep!
316
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,047
Lovin' the boots.
317
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,549
Um, have you considered
seeing someone
318
00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:22,927
- about your mood swings?
- No!
319
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,553
But it is a good idea.
320
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,934
- (doors open)
- DWIGHT: Mr. Roberto?
321
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,311
Folks call me Amarillo Dwight.
322
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,189
On account of I wrote
a geography report on it.
323
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,941
Done got me a "A."
324
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:40,194
How's about you and me
team up and rob stuff?
325
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,530
- What are you, like, 11?
- Twelve.
326
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,533
Close enough. I need a kid
for a job I'm planning.
327
00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:47,034
See that stagecoach?
328
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,118
(horses neigh)
329
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,578
It's taking a USB stick
330
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,206
with a company's weekly haul
of Bitcoin credentials
331
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,375
to a bank in San Francisc-y.
332
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:57,711
Only, they ain't never gonna
reach San Francisc-y.
333
00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,631
Why not?
They using Apple Maps?
334
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:03,717
♪
335
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:07,263
(groans) Not one patient.
336
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,766
Not even a case of splinters
to treat with my bone saw.
337
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,185
(weak bray)
338
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:16,188
Thanks, robot, but I couldn't
eat a thing right now.
339
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,482
(weak braying)
340
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,860
(sniffles) Can you save him,
Doc?
341
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,071
If it's something that
can be cured by a bone saw!
342
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,658
I'll need anesthetic!
343
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,910
Get me a bottle of
animal whiskey!
344
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:30,995
ROBERTO: Ha-ha!
345
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,581
They see a cute kid
lying in the road,
346
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,374
stagecoach gotta stop.
347
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,418
Then I jump out and stab 'em!
348
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,502
Bang!
349
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,130
But, won't that be,
like, murder?
350
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,299
'Cause colleges look
at stuff like that.
351
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,301
Here they come!
Shut up and look cute.
352
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,387
(horses trotting)
353
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,309
(Dwight screams)
354
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,395
Guess you ain't as
cute as I thought.
355
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:57,730
(groaning)
356
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,315
(snaps, yelps)
357
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,318
♪
358
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,653
(mechanism whirring)
359
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,156
The West can be dangerous
at night, Leela,
360
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,074
so thanks for walking me home.
361
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,619
- (roaring)
- (yelping)
362
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,747
- Don't worry. The Kid will save us, right?
- BORAX KID: Right.
363
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:16,999
(whimpering)
364
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,459
- Better back off, puma.
- (snarls)
365
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,377
I think it's actually
a cougar.
366
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:23,005
Puma, cougar, whatever!
Get him, Kid!
367
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,298
Or a mountain lion.
368
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,841
You know, they're really all
the same animal.
369
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:26,926
- (roaring)
- (screams)
370
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:31,221
(frightened growling, snarling)
371
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,848
(cocks gun)
372
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,934
It seems I bravely
shot that catamount
373
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,061
just in time after Fry missed.
374
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,813
Thanks, Kid.
Maybe I was wrong about you.
375
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:42,942
Beautiful ladies are wrong
about lots of things.
376
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,860
- (clicks tongue)
- (Leela giggles)
377
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,988
Ah, it's nice to see you two
getting along so intimately.
378
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,740
♪
379
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,450
It's hopeless!
380
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,285
There's barely any thallium!
381
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,663
Just worthless gold.
382
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,915
Well, Rusty's good as new!
383
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,626
I performed surgery
on Bender's ass!
384
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,503
Zoidberg is the hero!
385
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,587
(loud clang)
386
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,923
No! Bender's ass is!
387
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,675
♪
388
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,009
I mean his butt ass.
389
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,386
♪
390
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,679
(all gasping)
391
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,056
It's so beautiful.
392
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,849
Hey, what's that big rock on it?
393
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:19,144
It's enough thallium
to pay off all our debts!
394
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,313
Eh, well, mine, anyway.
395
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,024
Only the assay shop's
closed for the night,
396
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:25,693
and it's getting dark.
397
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,903
We'll have to take turns
guarding the nugget
398
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,822
with our lives until morning.
399
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,448
I'd take a shift myself,
400
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,701
but I am already in my pajamas.
401
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,370
(snoring)
402
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,331
♪
403
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,876
I steal it. I steal it not.
I steal it...
404
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:43,961
- (gun cocks)
- (yelps)
405
00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,337
Gimme the nugget!
406
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,215
And the daisy, too.
I gotta know how it comes out!
407
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:51,301
(birds chirping)
408
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,388
(all yawning)
409
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,056
Ah, nature.
410
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,767
I hate it. Let's sell that
thallium nugget
411
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,977
and hit the trail.
412
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,021
Oh, no. The nugget is gone!
413
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,897
And so is Bender.
414
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:05,983
- (muffled braying)
- Eh, wha?
415
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,360
AMY: Oh, my gosh! Rusty!
416
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,612
Bray us what happened!
417
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:13,824
(braying)
418
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,535
Come on! He's picked
up Bender's scent!
419
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,828
His what now?
420
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,831
(saloon tack piano playing)
421
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:22,666
(music stops)
422
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:27,671
(tense music)
423
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,840
(braying)
424
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,342
Back room don't open
till church lets out.
425
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,429
{\an8}(gasps) It's empty!
426
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,599
{\an8}This is the worst brothel
I've ever seen.
427
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,018
(music builds)
428
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,896
- (gasps)
- (beeping)
429
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,857
It's an immense Bitcoin mine!
430
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,776
Or an even worse brothel.
431
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,820
These aren't servers.
They're robot heads!
432
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,406
Someone's using them
to mine Bitcoin!
433
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,116
That's actually a
pretty reasonable
434
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,618
use case for robot heads. But--
435
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,495
Hey! It's a guy I know.
436
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:00,579
(all gasping)
437
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,081
Are you okay, Bender?
438
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,084
No, I'm not okay!
That's a stupid question!
439
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,586
I was peacefully stealing
your thallium,
440
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,296
when, suddenly-- Ha-ha!
441
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:12,007
I was kidnapped
by our friend from the saloon.
442
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,927
- (door opens)
- I'm not your friend.
443
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,096
(dramatic sting)
444
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,348
(laughs) Though,
I do like you a lot.
445
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:23,519
(dramatic music)
446
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,938
Didn't you ever wonder
who was gettin' rich
447
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,190
off all this Bitcoin nonsense?
448
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,901
- Never!
- Computer servers are expensive,
449
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,695
but robot heads are cheap.
Heck, free.
450
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,907
Mining Bitcoin
with kidnapped robot heads?
451
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:38,951
It's pure evil!
452
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:42,996
Hardly. I donate all the
proceeds to a local orphanage.
453
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,665
ALL: Aw...
454
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,500
But I can't let
you tell anyone
455
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,210
about my generous scheme,
456
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,711
so I'll have to seal you
457
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:52,256
in this comfortably
air-conditioned warehouse.
458
00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,216
- Forever!
- (all gasp)
459
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,968
But I'll drop by every
day with snacks.
460
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,220
- HERMES: Aw...
- ZOIDBERG: Snacks are good.
461
00:18:58,887 --> 00:18:59,972
(beep, slam)
462
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,058
(humming)
463
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,812
(stops humming)
464
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,313
♪
465
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,731
(dramatic sting)
466
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,816
Huh.
467
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,486
Crypto mining was total hell.
468
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,071
Any number you can think of,
469
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,615
- there's a number bigger than that!
- (banging)
470
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:20,617
So how do we get out of here?
471
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,536
Easy. We'll burrow out!
472
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,788
(braying)
473
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,456
Burrow! Burrow!
474
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,002
(weakly): I deserved that.
475
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,588
♪
476
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,840
This tie pin?
Why, it was a gift
477
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,384
from my good friend Diamond
Jim Diamond.
478
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:40,429
That guy who's just
a big diamond? You know him?
479
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,598
Step away from Leela, Kid.
480
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:43,724
♪
481
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,435
The jig is up!
I found your collection
482
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,769
of Buffalo Bill Cobalt novels.
483
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:48,896
You just copied those
484
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,689
and replaced his
name with yours!
485
00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,107
- What?!
- Well, now,
486
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,692
there's nothing illegal
about that.
487
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,111
Those old stories are
public domain.
488
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:57,362
I change up a few words
489
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,281
and claim the copyright
for myself.
490
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,409
- Ya ever heard of Cinderella?
- That is so evil!
491
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:04,620
I'm calling you out, Kid.
492
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:08,290
(dramatic music)
493
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:11,543
(dramatic tack piano)
494
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:15,047
I told you, stop that
racket! (cackling)
495
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,716
Not till you stop
that damn cackling!
496
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,635
Then I'm callin' you out.
497
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,303
(cackling)
498
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,021
(rumbling, crumbling)
499
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,731
(Rusty braying)
500
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,691
BENDER:
Delilah, you head-napper!
501
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,443
I'm calling you out!
502
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,612
- You're on.
- (cackling continues)
503
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,448
♪
504
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,246
Look out, Fry!
He's got the ace of spades!
505
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,084
That, sir,
was my cheatin' hand.
506
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,295
(gunfire)
507
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:01,885
(cackling)
508
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:05,389
(faster tack piano)
509
00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,017
(Hermes screaming)
510
00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,103
Pops! Get outta there!
511
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,562
I'm too scared!
512
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:14,606
There's bullets in
every dimension!
513
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:15,691
(whirring)
514
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,651
Hang on! I'm limboing in!
515
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,778
- You. Play something Jamaican.
- (flips coin)
516
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,782
(Jamaican music)
517
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,577
(gunfire, cackling continue)
518
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:35,085
- (cackling continues)
- (shoes popping)
519
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:41,675
(spine cracking)
520
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,093
Your spine!
521
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:44,845
It's magnificent!
522
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,722
I take after my dad.
523
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,807
Also, I got run over.
Now, follow me!
524
00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:52,477
(shoes popping)
525
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:53,979
(yelps)
526
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:55,564
- (bullet ricochets)
- (piano stops)
527
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:58,984
(gunfire continues)
528
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:03,155
This gun violence has to end!
529
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,699
Can't we all just agree
to use knives?
530
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:06,950
- (gunfire stops)
- Ha-ha!
531
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:09,036
Well, shucks.
532
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:14,124
Ow!
533
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,834
Oops. Sorry, Leela.
534
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:19,212
Ma'am, I'd be right honored
to disinfect your wound
535
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,715
with the kiss of borax.
536
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,469
May I escort you to the brothel,
so as you can lie down?
537
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:28,597
I've never been so offended
yet slightly flattered!
538
00:22:28,764 --> 00:22:30,515
Then, I reckon I'll
be moseying off
539
00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:33,101
to plagiarize another
adventure. Ma'am.
540
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:39,524
Perhaps I could disinfect
your wound.
541
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:40,817
I'd like that.
542
00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:42,986
Care to escort me
to the brothel?
543
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,823
It seems, Miss Delilah,
544
00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:49,326
you've taken a shot
to the bustle.
545
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:52,954
Fortunately, it bounced off
your damned thallium nugget.
546
00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:54,956
Here. It's rightfully yours.
547
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:56,458
- (bones crack)
- PROFESSOR: Oh!
548
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,960
Well, I'd better
go exchange this
549
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,587
for Bitcoin, so I can--
550
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:02,506
- Pay back the Robot Mafia?!
- (clamping)
551
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,592
Exactly. I'll be
back in a moment.
552
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,097
And in the meantime,
553
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:13,100
how would you gents fancy
a visit to the back room?
554
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,727
DONBOT: That sounds
like something we would enjoy.
555
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:17,813
(panting)
556
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:19,439
I love you, Pops.
557
00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:21,566
And limbo is not
entirely stupid.
558
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:24,361
Oh, son. Neither are you.
559
00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:26,363
(heartwarming music)
560
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,573
(dramatic crescendo)
561
00:23:28,573 --> 00:23:30,367
If we ever get outta here,
562
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:33,912
I'm gonna give this brothel
a really bad Yelp review.
563
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:35,497
(dramatic sting)
564
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,043
♪
39564
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