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1
00:00:01,273 --> 00:00:03,400
My daughter Danuta...
2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,861
is missing!
3
00:00:05,861 --> 00:00:09,364
Mrs. Tenuta, it's okay.
I'll tell them the story.
4
00:00:09,364 --> 00:00:11,950
The last time
I saw Danuta
was yesterday.
5
00:00:11,950 --> 00:00:13,827
See, a few months ago,
6
00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:16,580
Danuta joined
the Bazooka Sharks Babe
cheerleading squad.
7
00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,331
I've been driving
her to practice
8
00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:20,459
because her car
is infested with
pantry moths.
9
00:00:20,459 --> 00:00:22,669
{\an8}But something
was eating at her.
10
00:00:22,669 --> 00:00:25,380
Danuta said the organization
was hiding something.
11
00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:28,467
She didn't go
into details
because, well...
12
00:00:28,467 --> 00:00:29,634
I said I wasn't interested
13
00:00:29,634 --> 00:00:31,344
and that cheerleaders
were fake as hell.
14
00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:33,472
Not my most sensitive moment.
15
00:00:33,472 --> 00:00:34,931
Sorry.
16
00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,725
The Babes
do this version
of a pyramid
17
00:00:36,725 --> 00:00:38,018
that they call the Shark Fin.
18
00:00:38,018 --> 00:00:40,020
So stupid.
19
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:43,148
Danuta was always
proud to be at the top,
for some dumb reason.
20
00:00:43,148 --> 00:00:45,984
But at yesterday's practice
she never came out
of the locker room.
21
00:00:45,984 --> 00:00:47,986
They looked everywhere for her
22
00:00:47,986 --> 00:00:50,405
but the only thing they found
was her scrunchie.
23
00:00:50,405 --> 00:00:53,533
The official line
from the Babes is
that she ran away,
24
00:00:53,533 --> 00:00:56,161
but there's this thing
that Danuta used to say,
25
00:00:56,161 --> 00:01:00,081
"The only reason
for being missing
is being kidnapped."
26
00:01:00,081 --> 00:01:03,543
Something about that
makes me think
she was kidnapped.
27
00:01:05,337 --> 00:01:06,671
Don't worry, Mrs. Tenuta,
28
00:01:06,671 --> 00:01:08,673
these guys'll
find your daughter.
29
00:01:08,673 --> 00:01:09,800
They're professionals!
30
00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:11,635
Hi.
31
00:01:11,635 --> 00:01:13,094
We're in a garage.
32
00:01:13,094 --> 00:01:15,055
I'm sitting on a box of
33
00:01:15,055 --> 00:01:17,682
"Southwestern
table decorations"?
34
00:01:17,682 --> 00:01:20,477
It doesn't feel like
a pro operation.
35
00:01:20,477 --> 00:01:22,687
Would non-professionals
do this?
36
00:01:41,039 --> 00:01:42,499
Hey, where did
Danuta's mom go?
37
00:01:42,499 --> 00:01:44,000
She thought it'd be
more productive
38
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,086
to stand in front of
the White House with a sign.
39
00:01:46,086 --> 00:01:49,005
You did the right thing
coming to us
instead of the police.
40
00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:50,131
Oh, we tried them.
41
00:01:50,131 --> 00:01:52,092
But because of budget cuts,
42
00:01:52,092 --> 00:01:54,511
they won't investigate
a missing person until
they've been gone six months.
43
00:01:54,511 --> 00:01:56,721
Three if you buy tickets
to their pancake breakfast.
44
00:01:56,721 --> 00:01:59,349
Pancakes, that's a clue.
45
00:01:59,349 --> 00:02:02,394
- I don't think it is.
- Well, I'm glad you have
such strong opinions.
46
00:02:02,394 --> 00:02:04,646
You're gonna need them
as part of the investigation.
47
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:06,940
You want me to be part of it?
I'll do anything!
48
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:11,111
- We need you to go undercover
as a cheerleader.
- Immediately, no.
49
00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:14,155
The Bazooka Babes are holding
tryouts to replace Danuta.
50
00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:17,075
She'd said something shady
was going on over there.
51
00:02:17,075 --> 00:02:18,451
And if you can make the team,
52
00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:20,370
we'll have someone
on the inside.
53
00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:22,163
Okay, fine! I'll do it.
54
00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:23,456
I'll try out too,
55
00:02:23,456 --> 00:02:25,917
just in case they're looking
for somebody sexy.
56
00:02:29,462 --> 00:02:32,257
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
57
00:02:32,257 --> 00:02:35,886
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪
58
00:02:35,886 --> 00:02:38,680
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
59
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,392
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
60
00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:48,440
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
61
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,817
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
62
00:02:50,817 --> 00:02:51,902
Ah!
63
00:02:53,528 --> 00:02:56,531
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
64
00:03:03,622 --> 00:03:05,123
{\an8}Roger, you still have a beard.
65
00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:06,583
{\an8}It's Legman who's undercover.
66
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:08,043
{\an8}I don't even know
who Roger is.
67
00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:10,253
{\an8}While you guys are
looking into the team,
68
00:03:10,253 --> 00:03:12,422
{\an8}I'll be investigating
the organization,
69
00:03:12,422 --> 00:03:15,759
{\an8}as their new
junior senior accountant.
70
00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:17,344
{\an8}Nice! How'd you get that?
71
00:03:17,344 --> 00:03:21,264
{\an8}AI-generated recommendations
and a great attitude.
72
00:03:21,264 --> 00:03:22,682
{\an8}Shit, I'd rather do that!
73
00:03:22,682 --> 00:03:24,392
{\an8}Do they want someone sexy?
74
00:03:24,392 --> 00:03:26,645
{\an8}Hey, so what'd
you guys find out
about the squad?
75
00:03:26,645 --> 00:03:28,939
That's Kashara,
Pauline and Carly.
76
00:03:28,939 --> 00:03:30,649
{\an8}jealousy.
77
00:03:30,649 --> 00:03:33,610
{\an8}They all wanted
to replace Danuta
at the top of the pyramid.
78
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,153
{\an8}Carly got it.
79
00:03:35,153 --> 00:03:38,740
Over there we got
Coach Tammy and Jill,
Carly's mom.
80
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,450
{\an8}She's a former Bazooka Babe
81
00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:42,285
{\an8}and current president
of the booster club.
82
00:03:42,285 --> 00:03:43,703
{\an8}Both suspects.
83
00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:45,413
{\an8}jealousy.
84
00:03:45,413 --> 00:03:47,290
{\an8}Of what? Or who?
85
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:49,793
{\an8}Careful, Hayley.
Now you're sounding jealous.
86
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:51,503
{\an8}We have to keep an eye on you.
87
00:03:51,503 --> 00:03:53,588
{\an8}Wheels, get my little gun
from the van.
88
00:03:53,588 --> 00:03:57,300
{\an8}Up there is Cyrus Mooney Jr,
team owner, suspect.
89
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,885
{\an8}Why is he a suspect?
90
00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:00,178
{\an8}From the top of the pyramid,
91
00:04:00,178 --> 00:04:02,055
{\an8}Danuta could see
into the owner's box.
92
00:04:02,055 --> 00:04:04,891
{\an8}Perhaps she saw something
she wasn't supposed to.
93
00:04:04,891 --> 00:04:06,184
{\an8}Ooh, that's interesting.
94
00:04:06,184 --> 00:04:08,061
{\an8}- Yeah, I hope
it's that one!
- Me too.
95
00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:11,523
{\an8}Let's agree to favor
any evidence that makes it
look like that.
96
00:04:11,523 --> 00:04:12,941
That creepy guy!
97
00:04:12,941 --> 00:04:14,567
{\an8}Who is he?
98
00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:16,569
That's Dominic.
Team stalker.
99
00:04:16,569 --> 00:04:19,489
{\an8}100-times convicted felon.
Obsessed with Danuta,
100
00:04:19,489 --> 00:04:20,991
{\an8}couldn't stop
writing her notes.
101
00:04:20,991 --> 00:04:22,075
{\an8}Not a suspect.
102
00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:23,743
{\an8}- Why?
- Oh, it's too obvious.
103
00:04:23,743 --> 00:04:25,996
{\an8}I mean, just the day
before she disappeared,
104
00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:28,289
{\an8}he said he was gonna take her
away from all this.
105
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:31,292
{\an8}Tell you what, if it's him
I'll eat my sequined bodysuit,
106
00:04:31,292 --> 00:04:33,670
like a billy goat
on Liza Minnelli's farm.
107
00:04:36,464 --> 00:04:38,174
Welcome to tryouts.
108
00:04:38,174 --> 00:04:39,843
Now let me say right up front,
109
00:04:39,843 --> 00:04:42,137
we are body positive Babes
110
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:45,223
and nobody is gonna
be asked their weight.
111
00:04:45,223 --> 00:04:49,728
But, if you
accidentally step on
one of the many scales
112
00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:52,564
hidden
throughout the field,
that's on you.
113
00:04:52,564 --> 00:04:54,065
I'll hand it over to Jill,
114
00:04:54,065 --> 00:04:57,694
president of
the Bazooka Babes'
booster club.
115
00:04:59,154 --> 00:05:00,572
Well hey, girls!!
116
00:05:00,572 --> 00:05:02,198
I see your shocked faces,
117
00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:04,451
you can't believe
I'm Carly's mom
and not her kid sister.
118
00:05:04,451 --> 00:05:06,703
Don't make that face, Carly,
you'll get frown lines.
119
00:05:06,703 --> 00:05:08,371
- Mom!
- Don't call me that!
120
00:05:08,371 --> 00:05:10,290
Treasure these
moments, ladies.
121
00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,083
You never know when
you're gonna be 29
122
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,918
and wake up one day
and turn 30,
123
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:16,921
kicked off the team
because of an arbitrary
age cut-off.
124
00:05:16,921 --> 00:05:19,549
Even though all my veins
were still non-varicose.
125
00:05:19,549 --> 00:05:23,845
But now
it's my daughter's time
to live my dreams.
126
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,096
Um, quick question.
127
00:05:25,096 --> 00:05:27,557
Uh, what's your policy
on disappearances?
128
00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:31,186
Like, if I went missing,
would you try and find me
or just cover it up?
129
00:05:31,186 --> 00:05:34,022
We have a strong
no cover-up policy here.
130
00:05:34,022 --> 00:05:35,774
Good question.
No more questions.
131
00:05:35,774 --> 00:05:37,609
Anyone care for a scone?
132
00:05:37,609 --> 00:05:40,570
That's a trick,
the scone might make you
one ounce thicker
133
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,030
and that won't work for us.
134
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,199
The girls who asked
for the scone are cut.
135
00:05:45,366 --> 00:05:47,994
Now let the tryouts begin!
136
00:05:47,994 --> 00:05:49,746
How am I supposed to compete?
137
00:05:49,746 --> 00:05:52,540
This clearly isn't
anyone else's first day
of cheerleading.
138
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:55,001
Don't worry, I've got
a few tricks up my sleeve
139
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,295
to tip things in your favor.
140
00:05:57,295 --> 00:06:00,006
♪ She got a body
Like an hourglass ♪
141
00:06:00,006 --> 00:06:04,094
♪ But I can give it to you
All the time ♪
142
00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:06,387
♪ She got a booty
Like a Cadillac ♪
143
00:06:06,387 --> 00:06:10,183
♪ But I can send you
Into overdrive, oh ♪
144
00:06:10,183 --> 00:06:12,936
♪ You've been waiting
For that ♪
145
00:06:12,936 --> 00:06:14,687
♪ Step on up... ♪
146
00:06:15,563 --> 00:06:16,689
- Ooh, damn.
147
00:06:16,689 --> 00:06:18,191
You're cut!
148
00:06:19,484 --> 00:06:21,778
- You're cut!
149
00:06:21,778 --> 00:06:25,156
Thank you, NSYNC's absolutely
miserable halftime show.
150
00:06:26,991 --> 00:06:29,119
The way
she's pumping her arms,
151
00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:30,787
it's unrelenting,
152
00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:32,580
defiant even.
153
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,874
There's a little
Paula Abdul in it too.
154
00:06:34,874 --> 00:06:38,044
Diane, you're the
sparkle consultant.
What you think?
155
00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:39,712
I'd like to see more.
156
00:06:39,712 --> 00:06:43,216
♪ Back seat of my car
I'll let you have it... ♪
157
00:06:43,216 --> 00:06:44,926
I'm out, Hayley!
158
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:48,638
I just had
vaginal reconstruction.
I can't blast it like that.
159
00:06:48,638 --> 00:06:50,807
Farewell, my coochie!
160
00:06:50,807 --> 00:06:52,225
None of them sparkle!
161
00:06:52,225 --> 00:06:53,601
Who are you?
162
00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:56,521
I'm Kitty Kittington,
the new sparkle consultant!
163
00:06:56,521 --> 00:06:57,856
What happened to Diane?
164
00:06:57,856 --> 00:07:00,775
Oh, she had to attend
to a personal matter.
165
00:07:06,656 --> 00:07:08,283
They look great from here.
166
00:07:08,283 --> 00:07:10,535
But let's see how they look
on the Jumbotron.
167
00:07:12,996 --> 00:07:16,332
Hmm. I don't love that.
168
00:07:16,332 --> 00:07:20,253
It's four dollars per day,
but this Donkey Face app
was so worth it.
169
00:07:20,253 --> 00:07:22,964
And to think
I almost canceled it
a couple years ago!
170
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,383
We have chosen the final two.
171
00:07:25,383 --> 00:07:27,594
It's Hayley and Barbara Ann.
172
00:07:28,678 --> 00:07:30,138
Wait! One more cut.
173
00:07:30,138 --> 00:07:32,140
Barbara Ann,
you got the weird knees.
174
00:07:33,892 --> 00:07:37,729
Barbara Ann,
please put on pants
and go directly to hell.
175
00:07:37,729 --> 00:07:39,355
- I made it?
176
00:07:39,355 --> 00:07:41,399
Okay, okay, personal space!
177
00:07:41,399 --> 00:07:43,943
If you didn't hear
your name called,
you didn't make it.
178
00:07:43,943 --> 00:07:47,197
There's a list in the office
if you want to know
how badly you did.
179
00:07:47,197 --> 00:07:50,533
Christina,
I'll save you the walk,
you were dead last.
180
00:07:52,869 --> 00:07:56,414
To be clear, you're a 10-99
contractor with no benefits.
181
00:07:56,414 --> 00:07:58,082
Okay,
you're in the door.
182
00:07:58,082 --> 00:08:01,044
Now it's time to start
our investigation proper.
183
00:08:01,044 --> 00:08:03,213
Start? What have
you guys been doing?
184
00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:04,547
The longer Danuta's missing,
185
00:08:04,547 --> 00:08:06,382
the higher the odds
we'll never find her.
186
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:09,135
- I'm hearing,
"words, words, words."
187
00:08:09,135 --> 00:08:12,388
But I should be hearing is,
"sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!"
188
00:08:12,388 --> 00:08:14,474
It's important
we maintain our covers.
189
00:08:14,474 --> 00:08:17,769
But even I, Legman,
think Barbara Ann
was better than you.
190
00:08:17,769 --> 00:08:19,479
Come on,
Mr. Accountant.
191
00:08:23,483 --> 00:08:25,318
"Brr, it's cold in here.
192
00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:28,404
"Stop poking 'round,
or you'll be dead I fear."
193
00:08:28,404 --> 00:08:31,241
Wait,
this is a cheer threat!
194
00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:33,284
One of the Babes
must've written this!
195
00:08:33,284 --> 00:08:34,619
But which one?
196
00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:39,916
Bad Dominic!
You cannot be in here!
197
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:41,501
But he's a suspect too!
198
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,211
Suspect?
199
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:46,881
What I meant to say
is he's sus...
200
00:08:46,881 --> 00:08:48,508
and pectoo...
201
00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:51,177
which is, of course,
a Peruvian bird.
202
00:08:52,887 --> 00:08:54,013
Quite beautiful.
203
00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:55,974
Not a lot of meat, though.
204
00:08:55,974 --> 00:08:59,352
Please don't ask me
about the bird in the future.
The bird is quite real.
205
00:09:01,813 --> 00:09:03,606
Someone in this organization
206
00:09:03,606 --> 00:09:05,608
is involved with
Danuta's disappearance
207
00:09:05,608 --> 00:09:07,568
and now they're
threatening my life!
208
00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:09,779
And with a glitter pen,
no less.
209
00:09:09,779 --> 00:09:12,031
Yes! Who uses glitter pen?
210
00:09:12,031 --> 00:09:14,867
{\an8}Ugh. Everyone
in the organization, unfortunately.
211
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:16,452
They all use glitter pens,
212
00:09:16,452 --> 00:09:18,663
and they all reek
of artificial peaches.
213
00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:20,206
Let's check it for DNA.
214
00:09:21,457 --> 00:09:23,209
Hayley, that was
a rookie mistake.
215
00:09:23,209 --> 00:09:25,086
You're the one
who sneezed on it.
216
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:28,047
And you're the one
who made us stop at Hardee's
for French toast sticks
217
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:29,924
that I love
and am allergic to.
218
00:09:29,924 --> 00:09:32,677
"Brr, it's cold in here..."
219
00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:35,972
Its! The author
used the wrong "its"!
220
00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,432
Wrong-Its?
221
00:09:37,432 --> 00:09:39,600
That's the Kroger brand
knockoff of Cheez-Its, right?
222
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,478
I prefer them.
A stronger
cardboard mouthfeel.
223
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:45,273
No, whoever wrote this
forgot the apostrophe.
224
00:09:45,273 --> 00:09:48,318
We just have to find out
which of these girls
doesn't know her grammar.
225
00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:50,695
Based on these contracts,
that could be hard.
226
00:09:50,695 --> 00:09:54,240
Kashara spelled her name
with a five and a pentagram.
227
00:10:01,497 --> 00:10:02,915
Come on, Carly!
228
00:10:02,915 --> 00:10:05,251
You really got to
throw that kiss to Cyrus!
229
00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:06,753
Mwah! Mwah!
230
00:10:06,753 --> 00:10:08,838
He comes out of
his luxury box for this!
231
00:10:08,838 --> 00:10:11,507
He doesn't like to come out!
Make it worth his time!
232
00:10:11,507 --> 00:10:12,842
Mwah!
233
00:10:12,842 --> 00:10:15,011
- Whoa!
234
00:10:15,011 --> 00:10:16,429
Let's take a little break.
235
00:10:16,429 --> 00:10:18,389
You guys can
all share that banana
236
00:10:18,389 --> 00:10:19,849
I left in the locker room.
237
00:10:19,849 --> 00:10:22,101
Yay.
- Dibs on the peel!
238
00:10:25,104 --> 00:10:27,690
Hey girly... goos.
239
00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:30,360
I wrote a cheer.
240
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,528
- Can I teach it to y'all?
- Yeah!
241
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:34,405
- Let's do it!
- I love cheers!
242
00:10:34,405 --> 00:10:37,658
What the hell do you
think you're doing, Hayley?
I write the cheers!
243
00:10:37,658 --> 00:10:41,704
Kitty, I'm investigating
my creativity.
244
00:10:41,704 --> 00:10:42,789
Oh, right, right.
245
00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:44,999
But I'll be watching
your every step.
246
00:10:44,999 --> 00:10:46,918
Hovering over you
like an alien.
247
00:10:46,918 --> 00:10:48,503
I... I mean, I'm not an alien.
248
00:10:48,503 --> 00:10:52,131
Don't mind me,
I had one too many
Celsius Grape Rushes!
249
00:10:52,757 --> 00:10:56,552
It's Shark time!
250
00:10:56,552 --> 00:10:58,304
You had to write that down?
251
00:10:58,304 --> 00:11:00,139
Do you all know what this is?
252
00:11:00,139 --> 00:11:01,641
Dry erase marker?
253
00:11:01,641 --> 00:11:05,436
Sure. But, um,
does anyone know
what an apostrophe is?
254
00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:07,063
I think everybody knows.
255
00:11:07,063 --> 00:11:09,065
That's when something
terrible happens.
256
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:11,025
You mean a catastrophe?
257
00:11:11,025 --> 00:11:12,777
Yeah. Those are bad.
258
00:11:12,777 --> 00:11:14,404
Really, really bad.
259
00:11:14,404 --> 00:11:15,905
We should erase that cheer!
260
00:11:15,905 --> 00:11:17,698
Erase it now!
261
00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:20,785
But initiative like that
will put you at the top
of the pyramid one day.
262
00:11:20,785 --> 00:11:22,829
Or take you
to the White House.
263
00:11:22,829 --> 00:11:24,580
But not both. Don't be greedy.
264
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:26,082
I could be a topper?
265
00:11:26,082 --> 00:11:28,709
Praising these girls
is not the way
to motivate them!
266
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:31,671
You're lucky I don't send you
downhill in a grocery cart--
267
00:11:31,671 --> 00:11:34,257
That's just a Southern saying.
Nothing more.
268
00:11:34,257 --> 00:11:36,843
- Good job, babe.
- You're doing great!
269
00:11:46,394 --> 00:11:49,313
Oh, so right after
they're super nice to me,
270
00:11:49,313 --> 00:11:51,399
they sneak off to
some mysterious closet
271
00:11:51,399 --> 00:11:52,775
where they probably
have Danuta
272
00:11:52,775 --> 00:11:55,653
chained to a water heater,
drinkin' her own piss.
273
00:11:55,653 --> 00:11:58,322
Gotta play this
real cool and subtle.
274
00:11:58,322 --> 00:12:01,742
Don't show my hand.
Keep it casual.
275
00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:04,787
Closet, closet, closet!
I saw you go in the closet!
276
00:12:04,787 --> 00:12:06,706
What are you even
talking about?
277
00:12:06,706 --> 00:12:08,249
Come on everyone but Hayley,
278
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,709
let's go eat
boiled chicken breast
279
00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:11,377
and look at pictures
of cookies.
280
00:12:13,171 --> 00:12:14,964
They all went into this closet
281
00:12:14,964 --> 00:12:17,133
and when I slyly
asked them about it,
282
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:18,843
they were so weird.
283
00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:30,062
School zone, watch your speed!
284
00:12:30,062 --> 00:12:31,564
Oh, good looking out.
285
00:12:31,564 --> 00:12:34,358
I'll take my foot off the gas,
that should slow us down.
286
00:12:34,358 --> 00:12:36,068
No need to use
the brake at this point.
287
00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:37,778
Love that. Save it
for when you need it.
288
00:12:37,778 --> 00:12:39,280
When you can
rely on it to work.
289
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,199
Ooh, can we drive
past the kindergarten
290
00:12:41,199 --> 00:12:43,451
as all the kids are being
walked across the street?
291
00:12:43,451 --> 00:12:44,911
Sounds wonderful.
292
00:12:44,911 --> 00:12:46,746
I'll pull
right up close to them
in my two-ton van
293
00:12:46,746 --> 00:12:48,498
so we can see
their sweet faces.
294
00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:54,879
The brakes are out!
295
00:12:56,589 --> 00:12:58,132
Jello factory!
296
00:13:05,556 --> 00:13:07,892
I thought the jello
would provide a cushion
297
00:13:07,892 --> 00:13:09,602
but it was just
factory equipment
298
00:13:09,602 --> 00:13:11,229
and a bunch of sugary powder.
299
00:13:11,229 --> 00:13:14,857
The people
make the jello at home,
you idiots!
300
00:13:14,857 --> 00:13:16,275
Someone tried to kill us!
301
00:13:16,275 --> 00:13:17,944
It's getting
too scary, Hayley.
302
00:13:17,944 --> 00:13:20,238
Okay, I think
it's for the good
of the case
303
00:13:20,238 --> 00:13:23,324
that we take
a nice, long break,
come back fresh.
304
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,825
I like a cold case.
305
00:13:24,825 --> 00:13:26,911
Like cold noodles,
cold pizza, it's better.
306
00:13:26,911 --> 00:13:28,663
No, we can't give up!
307
00:13:28,663 --> 00:13:31,541
And I just can't be
swinging from jello factory
to jello factory
308
00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:33,000
looking for your dead friend.
309
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,252
You think she's dead?
310
00:13:34,252 --> 00:13:35,503
That's your question?
311
00:13:35,503 --> 00:13:37,672
Nothing about Steve
liking cold noodles?
312
00:13:37,672 --> 00:13:39,632
You gotta focus up, Hayley.
313
00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:45,888
Our brakes were cut
right after I asked
about the storage closet.
314
00:13:45,888 --> 00:13:48,808
Wherever Danuta is,
the answer is in there.
315
00:13:48,808 --> 00:13:52,019
Kashara always
has the key to it
on her ankle.
316
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:54,438
She's on the third level
of the pyramid.
317
00:13:54,438 --> 00:13:57,567
If I can make my way up
to the second level
of the pyramid,
318
00:13:57,567 --> 00:13:59,902
I can grab that sweet ankle.
319
00:13:59,902 --> 00:14:02,655
While you do that,
I'm gonna go over
the team's I-9s.
320
00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:04,490
Cool! How is that helping us?
321
00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,492
When Danuta's found,
it would be nice
322
00:14:06,492 --> 00:14:09,412
if there was a fiscally sound
organization to return to.
323
00:14:09,412 --> 00:14:10,705
If she's found!
324
00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:12,999
- How is that helping us?
- It's not!
325
00:14:17,878 --> 00:14:19,422
Great hold, Smith!
326
00:14:19,422 --> 00:14:21,716
You're moving up
to tier two after lunch!
327
00:14:21,716 --> 00:14:23,301
You'll be right under Kashara.
328
00:14:24,093 --> 00:14:26,429
Oh, yeah! Kashara!
329
00:14:26,429 --> 00:14:28,097
Don't take it weird, Kashara.
330
00:14:28,097 --> 00:14:32,018
I just can't wait to get
ahold of dem sweet,
sweet, sweet ankles.
331
00:14:33,894 --> 00:14:36,522
- Whoa!
- Will you sign your
pom poms for me?
332
00:14:36,522 --> 00:14:38,899
- What?
- Didn't they tell you?
333
00:14:38,899 --> 00:14:40,651
The team generously donates
334
00:14:40,651 --> 00:14:43,529
their signed pom poms
to the kids.
335
00:14:43,529 --> 00:14:46,824
Why do they let you
hang around here?
336
00:14:46,824 --> 00:14:48,993
What a rude question.
337
00:14:48,993 --> 00:14:52,913
And I was gonna offer
to lick the jello powder
off the bumper of your van.
338
00:14:54,749 --> 00:14:57,752
- Where'd you go?
- Yeah, we're gonna
beat your face.
339
00:14:57,752 --> 00:15:00,504
- What?
- With makeup!
340
00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:01,756
Makeover time!
341
00:15:18,314 --> 00:15:20,524
I'm so sorry!
That was my fault.
342
00:15:20,524 --> 00:15:22,610
Don't worry,
we all make mistakes.
343
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:24,153
I blew my basket toss today.
344
00:15:24,153 --> 00:15:25,655
I clapped on the seven-count.
345
00:15:25,655 --> 00:15:27,156
I got really high once
346
00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:29,575
when I was babysitting
my kid brother
and he drowned.
347
00:15:31,202 --> 00:15:34,080
Wow. This is a really
supportive group.
348
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,791
Well, let them support you
at the top of the pyramid
349
00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:39,043
'cause that's where
I'm putting you!
350
00:15:39,043 --> 00:15:40,461
Why would you do that?
351
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,796
Oh...
352
00:15:41,796 --> 00:15:43,464
I have my reasons.
353
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:46,801
As the sparkle coach,
I demand to know your reasons.
354
00:15:46,801 --> 00:15:49,261
My therapist told me
I need to take more risks.
355
00:15:49,261 --> 00:15:50,680
My speech therapist.
356
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,057
She gives me tewible advice.
357
00:15:53,057 --> 00:15:54,934
We're running out of time
to find Danuta,
358
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:56,394
and I haven't gotten
the keys yet!
359
00:15:56,394 --> 00:15:57,770
But you did get topper!
360
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,814
I say we drop
the investigation
361
00:15:59,814 --> 00:16:01,857
and see where this
cheerleading thing takes you!
362
00:16:01,857 --> 00:16:05,111
Unhelpful. Steve,
please tell me
you have an idea.
363
00:16:05,111 --> 00:16:08,406
What? They keep
food concessions
separate from beverages?
364
00:16:08,406 --> 00:16:09,907
I can't reconcile this.
365
00:16:09,907 --> 00:16:12,201
Danuta, you morons! Ugh!
366
00:16:12,201 --> 00:16:14,078
I'll have to get into
that closet myself.
367
00:16:22,586 --> 00:16:24,880
Ha, the jig is up, ladies!
368
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,758
It's Hayley! Run!
369
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:29,719
It's time to come clean.
370
00:16:29,719 --> 00:16:31,721
Hayley, our secret is,
371
00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:36,225
we can't afford to give
all our fans authentic
Babes pom poms.
372
00:16:36,225 --> 00:16:38,894
So we buy these knockoffs
on Alibaba.com
373
00:16:38,894 --> 00:16:40,604
and give them away instead.
374
00:16:40,604 --> 00:16:42,189
This is your big secret?
375
00:16:42,189 --> 00:16:44,942
You must think
we're monsters.
376
00:16:44,942 --> 00:16:46,360
No, you're not.
377
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,779
This whole time,
you were acting so weird
378
00:16:48,779 --> 00:16:51,282
but you're all so innocent.
379
00:16:51,282 --> 00:16:53,868
Wait, who's not here?
380
00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:57,705
- Carly! It was you!
- I don't kn--
381
00:16:57,705 --> 00:16:59,498
The note, my brakes,
382
00:16:59,498 --> 00:17:02,418
it all happened
as I went up the pyramid.
383
00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:03,878
You were trying
to scare me off
384
00:17:03,878 --> 00:17:05,421
because you thought
I was a threat!
385
00:17:05,421 --> 00:17:07,506
Brakes? What are you
talking about?
386
00:17:07,506 --> 00:17:10,301
I just wrote you a note
because I know something
weird is going on
387
00:17:10,301 --> 00:17:11,719
and I don't want you
to get hurt.
388
00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:14,346
So you don't know
where Danuta is?
389
00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:16,932
- No! I have no idea!
But I know!
390
00:17:16,932 --> 00:17:19,435
Carly,
cheerleader to cheerleader,
you gotta tell me.
391
00:17:19,435 --> 00:17:21,604
Do I have time to turn around
and see who this is?
392
00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:23,773
Or is my head about to be
covered with a big sack?
393
00:17:23,773 --> 00:17:25,566
Sack attack!
Called it.
394
00:17:25,691 --> 00:17:27,985
- Hayley! Are you okay?
- Danuta?
395
00:17:27,985 --> 00:17:30,988
You're lucky,
I had to eat my way
out of my own sack.
396
00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,490
Danuta, thank God!
397
00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:34,617
- Who put you here?
I did.
398
00:17:35,785 --> 00:17:36,869
Carly?
399
00:17:36,869 --> 00:17:38,829
I didn't say that,
my hands are tied.
400
00:17:38,829 --> 00:17:40,790
Carly's mom?
401
00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:42,166
Why are you doing this?
402
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:43,959
I was a great cheerleader.
403
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:45,127
I was a topper!
404
00:17:45,127 --> 00:17:47,463
It was my whole life
until that bitch
405
00:17:47,463 --> 00:17:50,174
Cyrus Mooney Jr
said I was too old to cheer.
406
00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:52,551
- But I'm not too old to kill!
- Us?
407
00:17:52,551 --> 00:17:55,095
No, I just needed
all potential toppers
out of the way.
408
00:17:55,095 --> 00:17:56,806
Now if you'll excuse me,
409
00:17:56,806 --> 00:17:58,766
I have to go put on
my daughter's uniform,
410
00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:00,476
climb to the top
of the pyramid,
411
00:18:00,476 --> 00:18:03,270
and when Cyrus
comes out to catch a kiss,
it'll be a kiss...
412
00:18:03,270 --> 00:18:04,438
of death.
413
00:18:05,439 --> 00:18:06,857
Kiss of death, y'all!
414
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:08,776
This is bad.
415
00:18:08,776 --> 00:18:10,986
Why are you wearing
a cheerleading uniform?
416
00:18:10,986 --> 00:18:12,947
I went undercover
looking for you.
417
00:18:12,947 --> 00:18:16,867
And I gotta say,
I take back everything
I said about cheerleaders.
418
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,410
To your face
and behind your back.
419
00:18:18,410 --> 00:18:21,288
You might not believe this,
but in high school--
420
00:18:21,288 --> 00:18:23,582
- You were bullied
by a cheerleader?
- Yeah.
421
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:25,709
- Can you believe it?
- Yes.
422
00:18:25,709 --> 00:18:28,254
Excuse me, Wheels.
Let me just fart
in here real quick
423
00:18:28,254 --> 00:18:29,713
and then we'll resume
the search--
424
00:18:29,713 --> 00:18:32,383
Oh, hey, ladies!
You're rescued!
425
00:18:32,383 --> 00:18:34,552
Thank God!
How did you find us--
426
00:18:34,552 --> 00:18:35,636
- Oh, no!
427
00:18:37,304 --> 00:18:38,931
Jill was trying
to get reimbursed
428
00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:41,225
for an unbelievable
amount of mileage,
429
00:18:41,225 --> 00:18:43,727
so in my capacity
as team accountant,
430
00:18:43,727 --> 00:18:45,271
I put a tracker on her car.
431
00:18:45,271 --> 00:18:47,606
While I ate
four dozen deviled eggs!
432
00:18:47,606 --> 00:18:49,275
Now let's go, girls.
433
00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:53,904
Which one of you prisoners
has the key to this door?
434
00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:56,782
- Damn it!
- Did someone say "Dominic"?
435
00:18:56,782 --> 00:18:58,367
No, get out of here, ya creep!
436
00:18:58,367 --> 00:19:00,077
No, wait, help us, you creep!
437
00:19:00,077 --> 00:19:01,829
We gotta get out of here
and stop Jill!
438
00:19:01,829 --> 00:19:02,997
Did you bring your rope?
439
00:19:02,997 --> 00:19:05,749
Why do people always
think I have a rope?
440
00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:11,505
Ew. Your hands are so clammy!
441
00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:15,217
And now,
our halftime performers,
442
00:19:15,217 --> 00:19:17,303
the Bazooka Shark Babes!
443
00:19:17,303 --> 00:19:20,306
Due to an uptick
in uninvestigated
disappearances,
444
00:19:20,306 --> 00:19:23,851
today's topper
will be... Carly!
445
00:19:23,851 --> 00:19:25,603
Jill, what are you doing?
446
00:19:25,603 --> 00:19:27,313
No, it's me, Carly.
447
00:19:27,313 --> 00:19:30,149
You're confused because
I look just like my young mom.
448
00:19:36,238 --> 00:19:38,490
You want your kiss
don't ya, Cyrus?
449
00:19:43,871 --> 00:19:45,789
Pucker up and eat this!
450
00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:51,253
Old face, meet young foot!
451
00:19:52,546 --> 00:19:53,923
So close.
452
00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:59,637
Gorilla Stars rule,
Sharks drool--
453
00:20:03,265 --> 00:20:04,808
'Zooka Sharks.
454
00:20:06,477 --> 00:20:08,646
Well, we did it again, Wheels.
455
00:20:08,646 --> 00:20:10,230
Case closed, Legman.
456
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,024
Couldn't have done it
without you.
457
00:20:12,858 --> 00:20:14,610
What exactly did you guys do?
458
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:16,862
Well, maybe this wasn't
our best work.
459
00:20:16,862 --> 00:20:18,864
Maybe we've lost
a step, Wheels.
460
00:20:18,864 --> 00:20:20,824
I don't like
that expression.
461
00:20:20,824 --> 00:20:22,409
How insensitive of me.
462
00:20:25,871 --> 00:20:28,582
Jill's going away
for a long time.
463
00:20:28,582 --> 00:20:30,542
And Danuta'll be back
on top of the pyramid!
464
00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:32,962
{\an8}You know, I think
I'm hanging up
my pom poms.
465
00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:34,922
{\an8}The abduction
was really traumatic
466
00:20:34,922 --> 00:20:38,050
{\an8}and I feel I need
to be in therapy
for a good long time.
467
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:39,468
{\an8}You don't need therapy!
468
00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:41,971
{\an8}Therapy is for people
who couldn't be cheerleaders.
469
00:20:41,971 --> 00:20:43,263
{\an8}Thanks, Hayley.
470
00:20:43,263 --> 00:20:44,974
{\an8}I can't believe you did
this all by yourself.
471
00:20:44,974 --> 00:20:46,058
{\an8}I had a little help.
472
00:20:47,142 --> 00:20:48,978
{\an8}Very little.
473
00:20:48,978 --> 00:20:51,647
{\an8}- Is she still looking?
- I don't care anymore.
474
00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:52,982
{\an8}As far as I'm concerned,
475
00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:55,317
{\an8}we're the only two people
in the world.
34461
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