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[MUSIC]
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[BLANK_AUDIO]
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Every time our eyes
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mate, this feeling inside me,
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[MUSIC]
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Patrick.
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Adeline.
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This is going to be the
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best Valentine's Day ever.
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This place is just so gorge.
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Of course it is, babe.
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I picked it.
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[LAUGH]
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[MUSIC]
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What the hell?
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[MUSIC]
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I told you not to put it in my food.
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Oh shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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Keep going.
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[MUSIC]
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Adeline Delilah Garrett, you're smart.
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You're beautiful and perhaps most
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important of all, you make me think.
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You're my person and I can't
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imagine my life without you.
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Will you marry me?
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Yes, a million times, yes.
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[MUSIC]
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Why are you calling me right now?
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I didn't get it.
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What the fuck do you
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mean you didn't get it?
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Yeah, I'm sorry, dude.
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There was a couple sun flares and like,
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could you maybe do it again or?
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Why yes, let me repropose to my fucking
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girlfriend so you can do your job right.
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Technically she's your fiance.
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Don't get cute with me.
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Do it right this time
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or I'll fucking end you.
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On Yelp.
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Okay, cool, thanks.
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I'll talk to you later,
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I'm not even on Yelp, dick.
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[MUSIC]
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Speak, speak, speak, lovey, lovey, lovey,
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and will you marry me?
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Yes, a million times, yes.
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[MUSIC]
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One second.
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[MUSIC]
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Give me that.
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Hello?
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Nico the photo guy, leave a message.
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Are you fucking kidding me?
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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He's out of the loop.
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING] [MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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Hello?
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[MUSIC] I'm a fucking fucking asshole.
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[MUSIC]
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I've been planning
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this day my whole life.
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And you fucking killed him.
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You messed with the wrong bride.
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You hear me?
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You messed with the wrong fucking--
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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Oh man, you can't be here.
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What are you doing?
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[SCREAMING]
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Hey buddy, you want to
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tell me what's going on?
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Wait, stop.
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Drop the nerve down.
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[SCREAMING]
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Somebody, please.
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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Hey there, you motherfucker.
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Go away.
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Go away.
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Go away.
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You go away.
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[MUSIC]
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No.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
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Hey, hey.
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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[SCREAMING]
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[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC]
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[MUSIC]
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It's Valentine's Day and the nation is
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once again on high alert.
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For the past two years, a masked maniac
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known as the Heart Eyes Killer.
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Or H.E.K. as authorities call him for
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short, has emerged on a day meant for
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romance to target, hunt
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and brutally kill couples.
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H.E.K. seems to target cities at random
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from a blood-soaked rampage in
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the Boston area two years ago.
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As well as a second killing spree which
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left several dead in
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Philadelphia just last year.
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Even though he's after couples in love,
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let me be perfectly clear about this.
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He will kill anyone who gets in his way.
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Leaving Americans once again plagued with
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anxiety on Cupid's
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holiday asking the question.
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Where will the Heart
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Eyes Killer strike next?
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[MUSIC]
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Do you expect the Heart Eyes Killer to
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kill your Valentine's Day plans?
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Who the hell makes Valentine's Day plans?
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Yeah, because holiday sex asks.
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Literally.
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Valentine's.
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I need a low-key scared. The
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A.C.E. can't got nothing on me.
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Shut up, Dylan.
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You're afraid of the dark.
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[MUSIC]
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No, I don't.
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[MUSIC]
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The Heart Eyes Killer.
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So glad I'm single.
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I'm gonna celebrate inside.
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That dude hunts you.
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Rubbing your shitty
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PDA all up in airfist.
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He only kills
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straight people like things.
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Whether you're with a partner or looking
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for love, stay vigilant.
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This Valentine's Day.
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[MUSIC]
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Shit.
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[LAUGHTER]
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Nice one, dipshits.
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Oh, Cupid shoots you in the dick.
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Caramel soy latte for Monica?
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Ooh, that's me.
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Yeah. Come here.
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Why do you look so stressed?
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Is it because you're
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single again on Valentine's Day?
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No, I'm stressed because Crystal just
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called an all-hands meeting
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and the subject of her email literally
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says Ally's campaign.
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Mm, I saw that. So I'm fucked.
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Okay, worst case scenario, you get fired
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and you never work
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another day in your life.
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Worst case scenario, Crystal
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wears my skin as a pantsuit.
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Best case scenario, we
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got nice skin though.
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Boop. You know what? Whatever.
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If you go down, I'll
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go down with you, okay?
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We'll thumb him the way he says shit.
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Large I-splendid Americano
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with oat milk, 2 honey, 1 sugar.
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So are you sure that's yours?
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Yes, that is definitely mine.
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No one else would order a larger
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I-splendid Americano with
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oat milk, 2 honey, 1 sugar.
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Sugar?
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Yeah, look at that. Wow.
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Guess we're coffee mates.
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Nice dad joke.
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Thanks.
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Thought I was the only one in the world
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with the most obnoxious coffee order.
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It's a pretty common order, actually. Can
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you guys move? We're busy.
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Yes.
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Hey, can I interest
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you in one of these guys?
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Oh, no, I'm okay. Thanks.
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Carry my own.
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Mm, metal straw.
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I hate paper straws. They just turn into
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mush in like three seconds.
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Yeah, no, I totally
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get what you're saying.
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It's put all the coffee in a plastic cup,
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but hey, as long as the straw is paper,
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the planet's saved.
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Planet saved.
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Mm.
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Sugar, though. Want one?
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Yeah?
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A little slow poison for the pancreas.
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Oh!
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I'm sorry. No, I'm...
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I got it. It's okay.
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No, it's totally...
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Oh, shit!
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Fucking Jesus!
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Oh, my God, are you okay?
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Yeah.
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Am I?
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Here, shit.
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Oh, thank you for that.
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I'm gonna go. I'll see
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you at work, come on.
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Sorry, she's getting fired today.
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Exactly one year after a Valentine's Day
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massacre left three
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couples dead in Boston
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and four couples dead in Philadelphia,
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the hard-eyes killer has come to Seattle.
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Four victims have now been claimed at a
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winery, ending one dream engagement...
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in a nightmare.
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Chief Hartley, is this the
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work of the hard-eyes killer?
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That's not confirmed at this point, but
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given the pattern of
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targeting couples on Valentine's Day,
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we suspect it's the work of AGK.
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What do you have to say to all those
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couples out there planning
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to celebrate Valentine's Day?
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Stay home.
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Oh, well.
250
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This is quite a pickle.
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Why didn't a single one of you tell me
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that there is a maniac running around
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slaughtering people on Valentine's Day
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these last couple years?
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Tommy!
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Not a single one of you.
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This campaign is certainly ill-timed.
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Wouldn't you say so, Missy?
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Um...
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You know, Crystal, how you always tell us
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that relevance is really
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important in our pitches?
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Well, I personally believe that Ali's
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campaign is very now...
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Monica, thank you so much. If you could
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do me a huge favor, shut the fuck up.
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Tommy.
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Wow, profiting off the death of couples
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to sell rings.
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Speechless. This is disgusting.
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I'll say.
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What did I just watch? Straight up tacky.
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Someone find out who made this and docks
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their ignorant ass. I
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mean, it just... it goes on.
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I'm sure it does.
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Ali, I'm worried about your safety.
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Gee, thanks, Tommy. How many people has
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this heart-shaped asshole guilt?
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I think, like, a lot.
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A lot.
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You built a nationwide campaign around
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romance ending in death.
284
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:49,083
Well, you approved it.
285
00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:51,625
Because I trusted you. I'm
286
00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:52,875
gonna need a new campaign.
287
00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:55,625
Okay. Um, no problem. I'll...
288
00:15:55,916 --> 00:15:58,708
Jay, get in here. Jay, who's Jay?
289
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,458
Thank you very much.
290
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:03,708
No way.
291
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,416
That's the guy who knows you
292
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,500
smashed into the cup of shit.
293
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,708
Jay Simmons, everybody. This is Jay
294
00:16:09,791 --> 00:16:11,166
Simmons. Who's Jay Simmons?
295
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:12,791
Well, I'll tell you. Jay Simmons is the
296
00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:15,125
former CCD of BNY New York.
297
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,583
He is the youngest freelancer to win a
298
00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:21,000
clear award for his viral romantic
299
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,250
campaigns and everything.
300
00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:25,875
From fancy cars to luxury chocolates.
301
00:16:26,541 --> 00:16:29,041
And he has then earned himself a nice
302
00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:32,208
little moniker of Consumer Cupid.
303
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:33,500
That is Jay Simmons.
304
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,458
And I'll tell you what. When I realized
305
00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:37,416
how far up Shitt's Creek
306
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,416
Alley here had paddled us,
307
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,416
I knew I needed some
308
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:44,000
reinforcements. And thank baby Jesus.
309
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:46,333
Now, he's gotta leave and push off
310
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:49,375
tomorrow and skidaddle. So, he's on the
311
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:51,291
clock, Jay. Everybody, Jay!
312
00:16:51,541 --> 00:16:53,541
Thank you for the lovely flattery
313
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:55,208
crystal. I appreciate it.
314
00:16:57,291 --> 00:16:58,416
Listen, as I understand it, we've
315
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,666
experienced some turbulence as of late,
316
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:02,583
but it's all about how you land the plane
317
00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:04,791
that matters. So, we will
318
00:17:04,875 --> 00:17:07,541
get through this... together.
319
00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:14,125
What the hell was that?
320
00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:15,666
I got a match.
321
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:17,666
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
322
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,166
We're gonna get married. I can feel it.
323
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:28,791
That's your boyfriend?
324
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,041
Yeah, he will be. He's an actual
325
00:17:32,125 --> 00:17:33,583
firefighter who loves puppies.
326
00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:39,250
You see? That's why you're still single.
327
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:40,791
You know what you need, Shaw?
328
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,000
You need a real man.
329
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:47,250
And then it's willing
330
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:47,666
to make the first move.
331
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:53,833
Come on, detectives. You're
332
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:57,250
gonna love this. Check it out.
333
00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:00,208
When is that a wedding band?
334
00:18:01,416 --> 00:18:02,333
Could it be one of the victims?
335
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:03,666
Unlikely.
336
00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:10,625
The initials engraved on the inside, JS.
337
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:12,958
Doesn't let Jigheth over the deceased.
338
00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:14,708
Huh.
339
00:18:15,708 --> 00:18:16,208
Huh.
340
00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:27,166
What kind of an animal would do this?
341
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:30,250
Probably some incel virgin troll living
342
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,833
in his mommy's basement.
343
00:18:32,708 --> 00:18:33,583
Assuming it's a man.
344
00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:36,541
What about the girl who never got asked a
345
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,875
problem? The love-scorned woman who got
346
00:18:38,958 --> 00:18:40,375
cheated on one too many
347
00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:42,708
times and just snapped.
348
00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:44,375
Oh, fuck.
349
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,666
Oh, yes. He replied.
350
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,083
You the gay fireman?
351
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,208
No, no. This guy works in tech.
352
00:18:51,625 --> 00:18:52,833
Shaw's got a fetish for betas.
353
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:54,208
I don't have a fetish.
354
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:56,041
Everybody's got a fetish.
355
00:18:56,458 --> 00:18:57,541
Gentlemen, this is more
356
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:58,833
than just a simple murder.
357
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:01,875
It's a...
358
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:05,583
kink.
359
00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:08,250
That's the understatement of the fucking
360
00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:10,041
year. How do you know
361
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:10,666
for sure it's H and K?
362
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,291
Here we go, detective.
363
00:19:15,958 --> 00:19:17,166
Guess this is the last thing the wedding
364
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:19,000
photographer ever saw.
365
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:23,750
Hard Eyes is coming to our city, boys.
366
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:25,875
They've got another ten hours of
367
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,291
Valentine's Day left to kill.
368
00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:35,083
Excuse me, what in hell are you doing?
369
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:38,041
What do you mean? You just fired me in
370
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:38,666
front of the whole team.
371
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,375
Fired you? I got six more months on your
372
00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:44,375
contract. I intend to squeeze every
373
00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,000
single ass drop out of you.
374
00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:48,208
Okay, great. So what am I supposed to do?
375
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:50,375
Get him coffee while he lands the plane?
376
00:19:50,916 --> 00:19:53,291
Now, you're gonna turn in a sizzling,
377
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:55,458
sexy, seductive
378
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:58,166
blockbuster crystal cane campaign.
379
00:19:58,583 --> 00:20:01,416
And if you don't, I'll kill you.
380
00:20:05,375 --> 00:20:06,625
I'm kidding. I won't. I black-list you,
381
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:07,708
though. I won't kill you.
382
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,875
I mean, maybe. But no. But would I?
383
00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:17,708
Whoever made this, I hope you get
384
00:20:17,791 --> 00:20:19,625
murdered and canceled not in
385
00:20:19,708 --> 00:20:22,000
that order. Hashtag do better.
386
00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:24,666
As someone who may die someday, I find
387
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,500
this commercial to be tone
388
00:20:26,583 --> 00:20:28,541
deaf and borderline ableist.
389
00:20:29,125 --> 00:20:31,708
Wow, people are fucking dumb. The only
390
00:20:31,791 --> 00:20:33,583
thing better than the couples in this ad
391
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,666
is the brain cell of the personal creed.
392
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:39,083
The level of cringe in this video is off
393
00:20:39,166 --> 00:20:41,333
the charts. Hashtag just that.
394
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:42,875
Hey, Allie?
395
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:45,541
Yeah?
396
00:20:46,458 --> 00:20:46,833
Howdy.
397
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,625
Jay? This is the women's bathroom, dude.
398
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:52,500
You can't be in here.
399
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,375
Yeah, technically it is a unisex
400
00:20:54,458 --> 00:20:56,916
bathroom, but can we talk?
401
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:00,916
Hi.
402
00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:02,666
Hi. I'm...
403
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:07,458
I am really sorry about our marriage.
404
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:10,416
Oh, no. It's totally fine. Sorry to stalk
405
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,291
and run, but I'm trying to make this yoga
406
00:21:12,375 --> 00:21:14,250
class that starts in like an hour.
407
00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:16,708
You're serious? Yoga?
408
00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:17,833
Mm-hmm.
409
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:19,625
Aren't we supposed to
410
00:21:19,708 --> 00:21:20,458
be saving the company?
411
00:21:20,750 --> 00:21:24,750
Yes, and we will just after yoga. I
412
00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:27,916
booked us a table at L'Oyez. We get
413
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,666
inspired, talk about the campaign.
414
00:21:29,750 --> 00:21:32,000
You realize that it's
415
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,208
Valentine's Day, right?
416
00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,291
Oh, that's right. You
417
00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:36,583
probably got plans, don't you?
418
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:41,208
Well, great. It'll be a great place for
419
00:21:41,291 --> 00:21:43,125
some field research. Romance, flowers...
420
00:21:43,208 --> 00:21:44,000
Do you think that maybe we
421
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:45,083
could just do this tomorrow?
422
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:47,041
I see. I would love to do tomorrow. I
423
00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:48,750
just have to take the first flight out in
424
00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:50,208
the morning for my best friend's wedding.
425
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,291
So how about this? We'll call it H-sharp
426
00:21:52,375 --> 00:21:53,083
and I'll see you
427
00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:54,666
there. Yeah? I'm excited.
428
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,250
No, no. I...
429
00:21:55,375 --> 00:21:56,041
It's gonna be great!
430
00:21:57,708 --> 00:21:58,833
It looks like the rain...
431
00:21:58,916 --> 00:21:59,833
Oh, thank you so much.
432
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:01,125
No, Ma, let me get this.
433
00:22:01,208 --> 00:22:03,500
You're like $100,000 in debt.
434
00:22:03,791 --> 00:22:06,208
Ha ha, not anymore. Arthur paid it off
435
00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:07,750
and I get to keep the card.
436
00:22:08,041 --> 00:22:09,958
Are you serious? Mm-hmm.
437
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:11,916
Damn. Someone likes a
438
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,083
little sugar with their daddy.
439
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:16,250
Uh-huh. Excuse me, Ali. I do not have a
440
00:22:16,333 --> 00:22:17,125
sugar daddy. That
441
00:22:17,208 --> 00:22:18,083
term is very problematic.
442
00:22:20,166 --> 00:22:20,708
I have a sponsor.
443
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:24,000
And do you love your sponsor or is he
444
00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:24,666
just erasing your debt?
445
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:27,708
Yes, I love him. And I love
446
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:28,750
that he's erasing my debt.
447
00:22:28,958 --> 00:22:30,708
So when am I gonna meet this secret Hugh
448
00:22:30,791 --> 00:22:33,125
Hefner? Should we all get dinner soon?
449
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:35,250
What do you say? Like 4.30? Suit?
450
00:22:35,458 --> 00:22:37,500
Ha ha. Real clever, Miss Judgey Judy. Oh,
451
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:39,083
you're literally stalking your ex online.
452
00:22:39,166 --> 00:22:41,458
I'm not stalking him. The
453
00:22:41,541 --> 00:22:44,458
algorithm is stalking me. Okay?
454
00:22:44,541 --> 00:22:45,250
That's the algorithm?
455
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:47,208
Hey, is Arthur hard-eyes? Is that why I
456
00:22:47,291 --> 00:22:47,833
haven't met him yet?
457
00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:49,708
That's not fucking funny.
458
00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:56,625
Ha ha. Of course Arthur's not hard-eyes.
459
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:57,208
That guy has so much
460
00:22:57,291 --> 00:22:58,250
arthritis, he can't run.
461
00:22:58,875 --> 00:23:01,166
Honestly, I bet it's Crystal. You know
462
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,833
when she does that, like, thing?
463
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:03,833
Mm-hmm. When her Botox
464
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,375
doesn't sit right and it gets stuck?
465
00:23:08,583 --> 00:23:11,125
Breaking news. Our Channel 7 affiliate is
466
00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:13,333
reporting that two more couples have been
467
00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:15,541
found murdered at a downtown spa.
468
00:23:16,208 --> 00:23:17,875
We go live to the scene in Seattle.
469
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:18,875
Can't watch this.
470
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:23,250
Ali. Ali, hello.
471
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:26,041
Hey, ho. Monica. Oh, my God. Why are you
472
00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:27,208
torturing yourself? You're
473
00:23:27,291 --> 00:23:28,166
the one who ended things.
474
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,375
I know. He just moved on so fast. I mean,
475
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:33,041
what even is her job? Look at her feet.
476
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:34,041
It's all vacation pics.
477
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:34,833
And she doesn't even have
478
00:23:34,916 --> 00:23:35,791
rich parents. I checked.
479
00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:37,458
You need to stop hate-fucking-yourself
480
00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:38,750
and get out there and actually find
481
00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:39,333
someone to actually
482
00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:40,666
fuck yourself, you know?
483
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:42,333
No. Oh, what about that guy? He's so
484
00:23:42,416 --> 00:23:44,208
cute. The, the, the bathroom boy, you
485
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:44,958
know? Your little stalker?
486
00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,166
You mean the guy trying to take my job?
487
00:23:47,416 --> 00:23:50,458
Oh, my fuck. He is so hot,
488
00:23:50,541 --> 00:23:51,708
I could literally throw up.
489
00:23:52,708 --> 00:23:54,041
My basement just flooded.
490
00:23:56,500 --> 00:24:00,041
He's okay. Wait. What are you wearing on
491
00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:02,250
this date? It's not a date. We're
492
00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:03,791
working. And what's
493
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:04,500
wrong with my clothes?
494
00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,291
You look like a before picture. Monica,
495
00:24:06,625 --> 00:24:08,750
that is so mean. Okay, this place. What's
496
00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:09,875
the vibe? Is it what?
497
00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:11,250
Fancy? Yeah, it's fancy.
498
00:24:11,916 --> 00:24:15,583
Why? Come on. Where are we going? We're
499
00:24:15,666 --> 00:24:16,833
gonna go fuck up a credit card.
500
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:31,833
It's gorgeous. So much skin. I got a
501
00:24:31,916 --> 00:24:32,708
little bit of it. It's so much skin. I
502
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:34,708
can go, sir. Monica, no. It's not a date.
503
00:24:52,250 --> 00:24:52,416
No.
504
00:25:03,083 --> 00:25:05,708
Hi. A reservation for
505
00:25:05,791 --> 00:25:07,750
Simmons, of course. AJ?
506
00:25:09,791 --> 00:25:10,625
Arms out, please.
507
00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:14,750
What gives?
508
00:25:15,416 --> 00:25:17,708
Hard eyes. Can't be too careful.
509
00:25:27,583 --> 00:25:28,916
I'm environmentally conscious.
510
00:25:41,458 --> 00:25:42,708
Sharp my ass.
511
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:51,541
Good evening, miss. Will anyone else be
512
00:25:51,625 --> 00:25:54,916
joining you? Yes. A friend. A
513
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,416
colleague. It's a work dinner.
514
00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:00,583
Well, I'll be back with the specials once
515
00:26:00,666 --> 00:26:01,833
your date arrives. No,
516
00:26:01,916 --> 00:26:02,708
no, no. He's not my date.
517
00:26:12,750 --> 00:26:20,250
May I tell you that you're lovely.
518
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:26,375
I am so sorry that I am later trying to
519
00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:28,458
get a car. And for what it's worth, I had
520
00:26:28,541 --> 00:26:29,958
no idea this place was going to be this
521
00:26:30,041 --> 00:26:33,708
nice. But you look amazing. Thank you.
522
00:26:34,708 --> 00:26:38,875
Welcome to L'Ouet. May I offer you a
523
00:26:38,958 --> 00:26:41,291
beverage? Yeah, please. How about a
524
00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:43,291
bottle of champagne, maybe two glasses?
525
00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:45,333
Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. No
526
00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:46,250
offense, but we're working.
527
00:26:47,333 --> 00:26:49,291
None taken. I'll be right back.
528
00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,291
So, where are you from?
529
00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:54,625
Phoenix.
530
00:26:55,625 --> 00:26:56,041
Do you have siblings?
531
00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,708
No. Are your parents still together?
532
00:27:00,708 --> 00:27:02,125
Mm-hmm.
533
00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:04,625
Well, that's nice. Yeah, I'd
534
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:06,125
love to grow old with somebody.
535
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:07,625
Change their depends.
536
00:27:07,916 --> 00:27:10,583
You know, I don't immediately go to poop
537
00:27:10,666 --> 00:27:12,708
when I think about love, but... Yeah.
538
00:27:13,958 --> 00:27:15,583
I would change an adult diaper if it was
539
00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:16,416
in the name of love.
540
00:27:16,833 --> 00:27:25,250
Here we are.
541
00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:27,083
Thank you. Thank you.
542
00:27:27,833 --> 00:27:28,708
Miss? Yeah.
543
00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:32,375
Didn't want any. Thank you.
544
00:27:33,708 --> 00:27:34,625
And for you, sir?
545
00:27:37,291 --> 00:27:38,833
Thank you very much. Enjoy.
546
00:27:39,708 --> 00:27:42,250
What do you say? To love?
547
00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:47,541
Okay.
548
00:27:49,791 --> 00:27:52,291
Listen, this is all very cute. Mm-hmm.
549
00:27:52,375 --> 00:27:53,750
And you're smooth. Oh, thanks.
550
00:27:54,041 --> 00:27:55,916
But I'm just trying to salvage whatever's
551
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,625
left of my career here, so can we skip
552
00:27:57,708 --> 00:27:58,541
whatever this is and get
553
00:27:58,625 --> 00:27:58,708
to cracking this campaign?
554
00:28:00,916 --> 00:28:02,000
By all means. Okay.
555
00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:03,458
I have a couple ideas in here. Some
556
00:28:03,541 --> 00:28:05,916
probably suck, but I'm sure there's a
557
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:06,041
problem with something.
558
00:28:06,125 --> 00:28:07,625
You've had your heart broken recently.
559
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:10,791
I'm sorry, what?
560
00:28:10,875 --> 00:28:13,375
No, I just like to think I'm intuitive
561
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:15,083
with these things and...
562
00:28:16,791 --> 00:28:20,416
Yeah, no. I did not get my heart broken
563
00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:22,000
recently, and it's
564
00:28:22,083 --> 00:28:22,916
really none of your business.
565
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,208
No, you're totally right. It's not.
566
00:28:24,291 --> 00:28:25,541
Definitely not. Okay.
567
00:28:26,708 --> 00:28:28,416
It's just your campaign.
568
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,500
Doom lovers, I mean, it
569
00:28:31,583 --> 00:28:33,708
hardly screams romance to me.
570
00:28:34,875 --> 00:28:35,666
The most romantic
571
00:28:35,750 --> 00:28:37,416
stories of all time are doomed.
572
00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:40,125
You've got husbands, wives, partners,
573
00:28:40,541 --> 00:28:42,291
twin flames, soulmates, whatever you want
574
00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:43,708
to call it, it's all going to end.
575
00:28:44,791 --> 00:28:46,041
It's just a matter of time before someone
576
00:28:46,125 --> 00:28:47,375
cheats, bails, or dies.
577
00:28:47,958 --> 00:28:49,750
What about butterflies in your stomach?
578
00:28:50,875 --> 00:28:52,041
A lightning bolt to the
579
00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:54,375
heart, cozy Sundays in bed.
580
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:55,625
What's next, birth charts
581
00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:56,708
and long walks on the beach?
582
00:28:56,791 --> 00:28:58,250
I like those things, but I
583
00:28:58,333 --> 00:28:58,666
get it. Not for everyone.
584
00:28:58,750 --> 00:29:00,000
You want to know how I
585
00:29:00,083 --> 00:29:01,291
feel about romance? Yeah.
586
00:29:03,708 --> 00:29:05,291
It's a farce.
587
00:29:07,250 --> 00:29:07,833
A lie.
588
00:29:10,041 --> 00:29:11,708
Not to everyone, I know that. Some people
589
00:29:11,791 --> 00:29:15,416
get really lucky and stumble into
590
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:17,625
something real and forever,
591
00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:20,208
but the other 99% of us are just bouncing
592
00:29:20,291 --> 00:29:22,125
from one failed experiment to the next,
593
00:29:22,541 --> 00:29:25,041
chasing the same regurgitated fairy tale
594
00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:26,375
bullshit that's been stuffed into our
595
00:29:26,458 --> 00:29:27,375
brain since we were kids.
596
00:29:27,958 --> 00:29:28,500
Prince Charming?
597
00:29:29,750 --> 00:29:31,416
Till you catch him fucking your sister. I
598
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:32,500
thought you were an only child.
599
00:29:32,583 --> 00:29:33,541
It's a metaphor, Jesus.
600
00:29:33,833 --> 00:29:35,500
My point is, it's not real.
601
00:29:37,708 --> 00:29:40,375
And somehow I landed a job that forces me
602
00:29:40,458 --> 00:29:42,166
to propagate a fantasy in order to sell
603
00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:43,083
blood diamonds harvested
604
00:29:43,166 --> 00:29:44,291
from third world slave labor,
605
00:29:44,375 --> 00:29:45,916
so please forgive me if I'm not swept
606
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:46,791
away by your magical
607
00:29:46,875 --> 00:29:48,291
notions of romance, Jay.
608
00:29:49,250 --> 00:29:49,625
Wow.
609
00:29:51,583 --> 00:29:52,375
That's really...
610
00:29:54,208 --> 00:29:54,333
What?
611
00:29:56,291 --> 00:29:56,500
Sad.
612
00:29:58,750 --> 00:30:03,541
Why are you single?
613
00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:14,666
Are you really looking for love? Or are
614
00:30:14,750 --> 00:30:16,958
you just another fake-ass, hoe-hunting,
615
00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:18,208
ankle-cuff prick in a suit?
616
00:30:18,291 --> 00:30:18,916
Oh my God.
617
00:30:19,208 --> 00:30:20,541
You don't know me. And you don't get to
618
00:30:20,625 --> 00:30:21,750
cast judgment just because I
619
00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:22,958
don't think like you, okay?
620
00:30:30,166 --> 00:30:30,958
Yeah, um...
621
00:30:32,541 --> 00:30:33,333
I think you were right.
622
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:35,541
Tonight's a bad night.
623
00:30:36,375 --> 00:30:38,416
I should just let you clear your head.
624
00:30:38,625 --> 00:30:39,458
Don't worry about the
625
00:30:39,541 --> 00:30:40,666
champagne. It's on Krista.
626
00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:55,666
Jay! Jay, I'm sorry, okay? You win.
627
00:30:55,750 --> 00:30:58,416
Listen, I told you it was fine and I
628
00:30:58,500 --> 00:30:59,541
meant it. It's all good.
629
00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:01,875
No, I had a really rough day and I took
630
00:31:01,958 --> 00:31:03,208
it out on you and that was shitty and
631
00:31:03,291 --> 00:31:04,958
wrong and... Jay,
632
00:31:05,041 --> 00:31:06,375
please, I can't lose this job.
633
00:31:06,750 --> 00:31:08,291
I am not gonna take your job.
634
00:31:09,541 --> 00:31:10,791
Although it does seem like you don't
635
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:12,083
really want this job,
636
00:31:12,166 --> 00:31:15,416
but this is me, so...
637
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:17,541
I'm gonna go back to the hotel,
638
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:18,708
brainstorm some creative
639
00:31:18,791 --> 00:31:19,708
so you can salvage from me.
640
00:31:26,708 --> 00:31:26,750
Ali?
641
00:31:30,708 --> 00:31:32,500
Colin! What are you doing here?
642
00:31:33,250 --> 00:31:34,333
Well, Sienna and I are on a
643
00:31:34,416 --> 00:31:35,500
little dinner date, actually.
644
00:31:36,083 --> 00:31:36,583
I've heard so much
645
00:31:36,666 --> 00:31:39,291
about you. Really? Why?
646
00:31:41,416 --> 00:31:42,833
And you are?
647
00:31:43,166 --> 00:31:45,416
Jay, I'm Ali's boyfriend.
648
00:31:47,208 --> 00:31:49,250
I didn't know you had a boyfriend.
649
00:31:49,708 --> 00:31:50,000
Yeah!
650
00:31:51,708 --> 00:31:53,875
Yeah, I mean, why would you? It's not
651
00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,708
like I publicised it on
652
00:31:55,791 --> 00:31:56,916
social media or anything.
653
00:31:57,625 --> 00:32:01,666
Well, it's nice to meet you, Jay.
654
00:32:01,916 --> 00:32:04,666
Pleasure. So, dinner, huh?
655
00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:06,208
Yeah, it was supposed to be a double
656
00:32:06,291 --> 00:32:08,625
date, but unfortunately...
657
00:32:10,208 --> 00:32:11,125
What does that mean?
658
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:12,375
You know the couple that
659
00:32:12,458 --> 00:32:14,291
got murdered up at the winery.
660
00:32:15,583 --> 00:32:16,583
What, you know them?
661
00:32:16,791 --> 00:32:18,458
We worked together. Played racquetball.
662
00:32:18,708 --> 00:32:21,416
Racquetball? It's tragic, really.
663
00:32:22,041 --> 00:32:23,000
Still kept the reservation.
664
00:32:23,458 --> 00:32:23,625
Dinner.
665
00:32:23,708 --> 00:32:25,500
Of course. In their honour.
666
00:32:25,958 --> 00:32:27,833
Wow. Well, a lot to eat
667
00:32:27,916 --> 00:32:28,750
in there and it's good.
668
00:32:28,833 --> 00:32:29,250
We should go.
669
00:32:29,666 --> 00:32:31,083
See you, Ali, as well.
670
00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,458
Oh, it's a sexy dress.
671
00:32:34,166 --> 00:32:35,250
You guys have a good dinner.
672
00:32:35,541 --> 00:32:36,416
Happy Valentine's Day.
673
00:32:36,625 --> 00:32:37,541
Happy V-Day!
674
00:32:37,875 --> 00:32:39,083
Don't get killed, alright?
675
00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,250
What was...
676
00:32:41,333 --> 00:32:42,166
Why would he say that?
677
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:43,541
That was weird. Oh,
678
00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:44,500
you're coming with me.
679
00:32:44,583 --> 00:32:45,375
Oh, so embarrassing.
680
00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:59,208
[music]
681
00:33:02,041 --> 00:33:02,791
Thank you.
682
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,666
No, not a problem.
683
00:33:08,750 --> 00:33:15,083
[music]
684
00:33:16,541 --> 00:33:18,916
So is it the accent? Is that what it is?
685
00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:20,916
I really love that fucking accent.
686
00:33:21,916 --> 00:33:23,166
I can't stand it now.
687
00:33:24,875 --> 00:33:26,875
Brits are so unemotional.
688
00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:31,000
Well, that would explain
689
00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:32,625
the dead friend's resi.
690
00:33:33,708 --> 00:33:35,666
Love. He's a beautiful thing.
691
00:33:35,750 --> 00:33:37,250
Oh, we just work
692
00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:38,000
together. No, we're not a couple.
693
00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:39,708
But you just kiss, no?
694
00:33:39,791 --> 00:33:41,708
Oh, see, no, that was a performance to
695
00:33:41,791 --> 00:33:44,041
seem maybe more desirable and perhaps
696
00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:45,625
less pathetic in front of a rax.
697
00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:47,583
Oh, you love Spotify.
698
00:33:48,625 --> 00:33:51,291
I have ultimate sexiest playlist.
699
00:33:51,708 --> 00:33:54,125
Yeah, we're... No, we're okay. Thank you.
700
00:33:54,708 --> 00:33:55,625
Can we add a stop?
701
00:33:57,583 --> 00:34:00,000
Again, I'm really sorry about tonight. I
702
00:34:00,083 --> 00:34:01,041
swear I'm not a lunatic.
703
00:34:01,291 --> 00:34:02,750
That's exactly what I
704
00:34:02,833 --> 00:34:03,708
think a lunatic would say.
705
00:34:04,708 --> 00:34:05,833
Okay.
706
00:34:08,958 --> 00:34:09,541
Have fun at your best
707
00:34:09,625 --> 00:34:12,666
friend's wedding. Thank you.
708
00:34:14,375 --> 00:34:19,416
Okie dokie.
709
00:34:24,708 --> 00:34:25,916
What the...
710
00:34:27,708 --> 00:34:28,250
No!
711
00:34:28,708 --> 00:34:31,708
Next stop, 2640 Westlake Avenue South.
712
00:34:34,250 --> 00:34:35,833
Hey, can you hold off a second? I think
713
00:34:35,916 --> 00:34:37,041
she locked herself out.
714
00:34:37,625 --> 00:34:38,833
You know what you should do?
715
00:34:39,708 --> 00:34:42,791
You should go to her, tell her you love
716
00:34:42,875 --> 00:34:44,916
her, then never let her go.
717
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,583
Right. Right. Yeah, you
718
00:34:50,666 --> 00:34:51,875
just keep that meter running.
719
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,208
Howdy. Everything okay?
720
00:34:57,291 --> 00:35:00,333
No. No, I think I left my keys in a
721
00:35:00,416 --> 00:35:01,208
dressing room somewhere.
722
00:35:01,541 --> 00:35:01,666
Oh.
723
00:35:01,750 --> 00:35:04,333
Oh my God, this night
724
00:35:04,416 --> 00:35:05,291
could not get any worse.
725
00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:06,666
Have a spare hidden?
726
00:35:07,416 --> 00:35:10,500
Yeah, under a mat. Upstairs.
727
00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:13,916
It's okay, I'll just break the window.
728
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,166
No, what? Are you talking
729
00:35:15,250 --> 00:35:16,333
about breaking windows? No.
730
00:35:16,541 --> 00:35:18,000
No, it's fine. My landlord loves me.
731
00:35:18,083 --> 00:35:19,833
Well, if you're serious, maybe you just,
732
00:35:19,916 --> 00:35:20,791
you know, let me do it.
733
00:35:20,875 --> 00:35:21,583
I can break a window.
734
00:35:21,791 --> 00:35:23,875
No, I know you can break a window, but if
735
00:35:23,958 --> 00:35:25,041
you cut yourself, I'll be...
736
00:35:25,125 --> 00:35:25,833
I'm not gonna cut myself.
737
00:35:27,666 --> 00:35:28,333
Knock yourself out.
738
00:35:29,208 --> 00:35:30,000
Just know I don't condone
739
00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:31,833
this. I worry for your safety.
740
00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:33,916
And you're punching with your thumb
741
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:34,708
inside your hand,
742
00:35:34,791 --> 00:35:35,458
which is not a good thing.
743
00:35:35,541 --> 00:35:36,416
Okay, yeah, you're gonna do it. Yeah, why
744
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:37,000
don't you hold that.
745
00:35:38,208 --> 00:35:38,791
Okay, prepared.
746
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:43,666
Eh, not so bad. That's bad.
747
00:35:44,916 --> 00:35:46,791
I'm so sorry this is all my fault.
748
00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:48,291
I'm sorry I'm
749
00:35:48,375 --> 00:35:49,291
bleeding all over your floor.
750
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,916
Here, okay, let's run
751
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,625
in under some water.
752
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:55,250
Thanks.
753
00:35:55,708 --> 00:35:56,250
Okay, you're just gonna
754
00:35:56,333 --> 00:35:57,916
wash up in here for a second.
755
00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:03,875
Sorry, it's so messy. I had a house
756
00:36:03,958 --> 00:36:05,125
cleaner, but she won the
757
00:36:05,208 --> 00:36:07,041
lottery last week and fired me.
758
00:36:07,458 --> 00:36:09,333
Really? How does stitching win?
759
00:36:10,291 --> 00:36:11,916
Um, like a million dollars.
760
00:36:12,541 --> 00:36:12,791
Damn.
761
00:36:14,208 --> 00:36:15,291
Well, I hope you find the replacement.
762
00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:17,458
Soon.
763
00:36:22,041 --> 00:36:23,291
Oh, cute.
764
00:36:24,958 --> 00:36:27,333
I was Pikachu for Halloween, too.
765
00:36:27,875 --> 00:36:29,791
Oh, yeah. That wasn't Halloween.
766
00:36:29,875 --> 00:36:30,541
Well, what was it?
767
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:32,875
It was Tuesday. Yeah,
768
00:36:32,958 --> 00:36:33,541
I was pretty obsessed.
769
00:36:33,916 --> 00:36:34,583
Or that shit everywhere.
770
00:36:37,375 --> 00:36:37,833
Take that.
771
00:36:37,916 --> 00:36:38,750
It was on your shelf.
772
00:36:38,833 --> 00:36:40,333
No, I really wasn't expecting company.
773
00:36:40,708 --> 00:36:40,916
Ever?
774
00:36:42,541 --> 00:36:43,541
Why don't you just take a seat while I
775
00:36:43,625 --> 00:36:45,000
look for the first aid kit?
776
00:36:49,333 --> 00:36:49,708
Huh.
777
00:36:51,583 --> 00:36:52,000
Found it.
778
00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:57,375
Jay.
779
00:37:05,541 --> 00:37:05,833
Excuse you.
780
00:37:06,208 --> 00:37:07,666
I'm sorry. I don't want to
781
00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:09,041
sit on your nice clothes.
782
00:37:10,916 --> 00:37:12,041
Oh.
783
00:37:14,541 --> 00:37:15,000
Will you relax?
784
00:37:16,083 --> 00:37:17,833
It's just a very expensive jacket.
785
00:37:19,541 --> 00:37:20,708
Let's see your hand.
786
00:37:21,708 --> 00:37:25,083
Careful now.
787
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:26,833
Does it hurt?
788
00:37:28,541 --> 00:37:30,875
No, actually. You're really good at this.
789
00:37:31,625 --> 00:37:32,708
Did you go to med school or something?
790
00:37:33,166 --> 00:37:35,833
I dropped out, actually.
791
00:37:37,541 --> 00:37:38,750
I really can't do blood.
792
00:37:38,833 --> 00:37:39,458
No way.
793
00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:40,083
No way.
794
00:37:41,708 --> 00:37:44,000
Well, I think you're doing a pretty good
795
00:37:44,083 --> 00:37:45,666
job right now if I do say so myself.
796
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:46,708
Oh.
797
00:37:48,333 --> 00:37:49,875
This is why we dropped out of med school
798
00:37:49,958 --> 00:37:51,625
and pivoted to advertising.
799
00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:54,250
You're funny.
800
00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:55,750
Am I?
801
00:37:56,333 --> 00:37:57,041
I think so, yeah.
802
00:38:00,541 --> 00:38:03,000
Would you mind my hair
803
00:38:03,083 --> 00:38:04,791
falling off my face? Thank you.
804
00:38:12,708 --> 00:38:13,416
Okay.
805
00:38:14,333 --> 00:38:14,875
Oh, wow.
806
00:38:14,958 --> 00:38:15,125
Yeah.
807
00:38:20,541 --> 00:38:22,708
So, do you mind my asking what kind of
808
00:38:22,791 --> 00:38:24,333
medicine you were planning on going into?
809
00:38:25,833 --> 00:38:27,166
Nephrology.
810
00:38:27,833 --> 00:38:29,000
That's the liver.
811
00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:30,041
Kidneys.
812
00:38:30,833 --> 00:38:31,208
Nailed it.
813
00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:31,500
Yeah.
814
00:38:31,875 --> 00:38:32,875
Well, why that?
815
00:38:33,291 --> 00:38:34,458
I had a family member
816
00:38:34,541 --> 00:38:35,583
that was pretty sick.
817
00:38:36,958 --> 00:38:39,166
Guess I... I don't know.
818
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:40,125
Thought I could fix people.
819
00:38:42,416 --> 00:38:44,666
Anyway, now I'm considered homophobic.
820
00:38:44,750 --> 00:38:45,500
Oh.
821
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:47,625
That didn't take you for a bigot.
822
00:38:48,250 --> 00:38:48,416
Okay.
823
00:38:49,916 --> 00:38:51,625
Between that and coffee maids, your dad
824
00:38:51,708 --> 00:38:53,000
jokes are top notch.
825
00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:56,500
I'm being facetious, obviously.
826
00:38:57,250 --> 00:38:58,541
Your jokes are cheesy as f-
827
00:38:58,625 --> 00:38:59,166
Ellie!
828
00:39:00,708 --> 00:39:00,916
Ellie!
829
00:39:03,166 --> 00:39:14,208
Fuck you!
830
00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:17,500
Run!
831
00:39:19,916 --> 00:39:22,708
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
832
00:39:22,958 --> 00:39:23,333
You!
833
00:39:23,708 --> 00:39:24,333
What are you doing?
834
00:39:24,416 --> 00:39:25,583
Get your mind out of the gutter.
835
00:39:25,666 --> 00:39:26,416
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
836
00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:28,541
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come
837
00:39:28,625 --> 00:39:29,625
on, come on, come on.
838
00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:31,875
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
839
00:39:32,333 --> 00:39:32,833
You got it?
840
00:39:32,916 --> 00:39:33,083
Yes.
841
00:39:35,875 --> 00:39:37,333
Oh, good job.
842
00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:39,208
Thanks.
843
00:39:41,541 --> 00:39:43,250
Hey, you good?
844
00:39:43,625 --> 00:39:43,875
Yeah.
845
00:39:45,333 --> 00:39:49,375
Help! He's trying to kill us!
846
00:39:49,458 --> 00:39:50,500
Okay, he's alive, buddy.
847
00:39:52,875 --> 00:39:53,916
No, no, no, no, he's
848
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:54,875
not the wrong people!
849
00:39:54,958 --> 00:39:55,416
Hey, what are you doing?
850
00:39:55,500 --> 00:39:56,291
We killed couples,
851
00:39:56,375 --> 00:39:57,166
right? We're not a couple.
852
00:39:57,250 --> 00:39:57,666
We barely know each other.
853
00:39:57,750 --> 00:40:00,416
So back the fuck off!
854
00:40:00,708 --> 00:40:02,166
911, what's your emergency?
855
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:03,708
No!
856
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:04,083
No!
857
00:40:05,708 --> 00:40:05,916
Help!
858
00:40:08,750 --> 00:40:09,125
Help!
859
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:11,083
Help her!
860
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:20,625
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
861
00:40:20,708 --> 00:40:20,958
What?
862
00:40:22,708 --> 00:40:23,666
Did you hear that?
863
00:40:23,750 --> 00:40:27,833
I don't hear anything.
864
00:40:29,333 --> 00:40:29,583
Shit!
865
00:40:30,916 --> 00:40:31,166
Ali!
866
00:40:32,958 --> 00:40:33,666
Get over her!
867
00:40:33,750 --> 00:41:25,708
Take it! [panting]
868
00:41:56,750 --> 00:41:59,583
[panting]
869
00:41:59,666 --> 00:42:05,750
[dramatic music]
870
00:42:14,791 --> 00:42:17,958
[screams]
871
00:42:18,041 --> 00:42:19,791
[tapping]
872
00:42:19,875 --> 00:42:21,333
[grunts]
873
00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:28,875
[tires screech]
874
00:42:28,958 --> 00:42:30,541
[grunts]
875
00:42:30,625 --> 00:42:34,541
[grunts]
876
00:42:34,625 --> 00:42:38,500
[screams]
877
00:42:43,708 --> 00:42:43,750
No!
878
00:42:45,958 --> 00:42:46,666
[grunts]
879
00:42:47,875 --> 00:42:50,583
[growls]
880
00:42:50,666 --> 00:42:56,291
[screams]
881
00:42:56,375 --> 00:42:58,958
[screams]
882
00:42:59,041 --> 00:42:59,083
[screams]
883
00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:03,833
[grunts]
884
00:43:03,916 --> 00:43:05,875
No!
885
00:43:10,208 --> 00:43:13,125
No! No!
886
00:43:13,208 --> 00:43:13,333
No!
887
00:43:13,708 --> 00:43:13,958
No!
888
00:43:14,750 --> 00:43:16,250
[screams]
889
00:43:16,333 --> 00:43:16,500
No!
890
00:43:16,833 --> 00:43:17,583
My God!
891
00:43:20,208 --> 00:43:20,541
Here!
892
00:43:21,208 --> 00:43:21,375
Wait.
893
00:43:23,875 --> 00:43:26,000
He was--he was right here.
894
00:43:26,916 --> 00:43:27,833
I'll go check it out.
895
00:43:30,416 --> 00:43:31,125
Oh my God, Jay.
896
00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:33,083
Jay, is he okay?
897
00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:34,500
I don't know who you're talking about.
898
00:43:34,583 --> 00:43:35,125
Jay Simmons!
899
00:43:35,333 --> 00:43:37,041
We were with each other all night and we
900
00:43:37,125 --> 00:43:37,750
got attacked and we
901
00:43:37,833 --> 00:43:39,125
got separated back there.
902
00:43:39,208 --> 00:43:39,375
I--
903
00:43:40,125 --> 00:43:40,458
You just--
904
00:43:40,541 --> 00:43:41,875
No, I didn't leave him!
905
00:43:42,375 --> 00:43:43,708
All units, all units, stand down.
906
00:43:45,750 --> 00:43:46,500
Jesus.
907
00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:48,250
You got that motherfucker!
908
00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,708
CRPD, baby!
909
00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:50,541
Fuck yeah!
910
00:43:51,791 --> 00:43:52,500
[phone rings]
911
00:43:52,583 --> 00:43:52,750
Yeah.
912
00:43:53,666 --> 00:43:53,875
Congratulations.
913
00:43:55,791 --> 00:43:56,708
[phone rings]
914
00:43:56,791 --> 00:43:57,083
Gun!
915
00:43:59,708 --> 00:43:59,875
Hey!
916
00:44:00,791 --> 00:44:01,666
Hey, you need a backup.
917
00:44:03,416 --> 00:44:04,458
Fucking weirdos.
918
00:44:05,458 --> 00:44:05,875
Detectives.
919
00:44:08,375 --> 00:44:08,875
Here she is.
920
00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:11,375
Detective Zeke Hobbs.
921
00:44:11,625 --> 00:44:12,458
This is my partner,
922
00:44:12,541 --> 00:44:13,708
Detective Jeanine Shaw.
923
00:44:16,541 --> 00:44:17,166
Hobbs and Shaw?
924
00:44:18,916 --> 00:44:20,083
Like, the movie?
925
00:44:23,583 --> 00:44:24,416
I haven't seen it.
926
00:44:24,875 --> 00:44:26,125
We're here to idea a murderer.
927
00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:27,250
Oh my God, Jay?
928
00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:29,208
Jay!
929
00:44:30,958 --> 00:44:31,916
Jay, are you okay?
930
00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:32,833
Mm-mm.
931
00:44:34,458 --> 00:44:34,833
Jay!
932
00:44:34,916 --> 00:44:35,208
Nope.
933
00:44:36,708 --> 00:44:37,750
Jay, are you okay?
934
00:44:38,250 --> 00:44:39,625
Uh, no, Allie.
935
00:44:39,708 --> 00:44:41,083
I'm not okay.
936
00:44:41,583 --> 00:44:42,541
Thank you for asking.
937
00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:43,708
You ditched me.
938
00:44:44,916 --> 00:44:45,083
What?
939
00:44:45,708 --> 00:44:47,166
I did not ditch you.
940
00:44:47,250 --> 00:44:48,208
Oh, yes, you did.
941
00:44:48,291 --> 00:44:49,416
You absolutely ditched me.
942
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:50,291
We were a team.
943
00:44:50,375 --> 00:44:52,291
I was being chased by a
944
00:44:52,375 --> 00:44:53,916
fucking serial killer.
945
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:54,458
I know.
946
00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:56,291
I also was being
947
00:44:56,375 --> 00:44:58,000
chased by a serial killer.
948
00:44:58,083 --> 00:44:59,250
What the fuck does that mean?
949
00:44:59,333 --> 00:45:00,916
Jay, you're dull and ripped and
950
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:01,916
imperfectly capable
951
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:02,958
of defending yourself.
952
00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:05,083
Allie, I really appreciate the
953
00:45:05,166 --> 00:45:07,250
compliments, especially coming from you.
954
00:45:07,333 --> 00:45:09,291
But right now is not the time, okay?
955
00:45:09,375 --> 00:45:11,250
These muscles were not made for violence.
956
00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:12,166
They're for cuddling.
957
00:45:12,583 --> 00:45:12,708
Okay.
958
00:45:13,708 --> 00:45:15,333
Guys, this was not him.
959
00:45:15,416 --> 00:45:16,458
We were together all night.
960
00:45:16,541 --> 00:45:17,875
Hard Eyes was after both of us.
961
00:45:17,958 --> 00:45:20,000
Ma'am, we found this man
962
00:45:20,083 --> 00:45:21,291
in the park wearing this.
963
00:45:22,666 --> 00:45:24,000
And in possession of this.
964
00:45:24,708 --> 00:45:25,333
Come on!
965
00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:27,750
No, that's not possible.
966
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,041
Jay didn't do this.
967
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:30,250
Maybe.
968
00:45:32,458 --> 00:45:33,666
Maybe Jay wasn't acting alone.
969
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:35,166
What?
970
00:45:35,416 --> 00:45:35,708
What?
971
00:45:36,166 --> 00:45:37,541
We're gonna have to take your tall,
972
00:45:37,625 --> 00:45:38,875
ripped friend in for questioning.
973
00:45:42,291 --> 00:45:42,500
Oh!
974
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:43,708
Ho ho!
975
00:45:44,250 --> 00:45:45,916
Hey, good going.
976
00:45:46,708 --> 00:45:47,375
Really great.
977
00:45:49,791 --> 00:45:51,083
See you in the station, I guess.
978
00:45:54,458 --> 00:45:54,958
Fuck.
979
00:45:59,333 --> 00:45:59,875
What is this?
980
00:46:01,083 --> 00:46:01,708
It's a ring.
981
00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:04,333
Read it.
982
00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:06,000
Read what?
983
00:46:06,291 --> 00:46:06,916
Let me help you out.
984
00:46:07,291 --> 00:46:08,000
Let me help you out.
985
00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:08,708
This is JS.
986
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,791
As in, Jay Simmons.
987
00:46:14,541 --> 00:46:16,041
You are really good.
988
00:46:16,833 --> 00:46:18,333
You're really good at detective work.
989
00:46:18,416 --> 00:46:19,708
That was really impressive.
990
00:46:25,125 --> 00:46:25,500
That's orgasm.
991
00:46:27,458 --> 00:46:30,291
A, I am not married.
992
00:46:30,958 --> 00:46:33,708
B, why would I leave a wedding band at
993
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:34,666
the scene of the crime?
994
00:46:34,750 --> 00:46:38,125
And C, who gets their own initials
995
00:46:38,208 --> 00:46:39,500
engraved in their own
996
00:46:39,583 --> 00:46:40,666
fucking wedding band?
997
00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:43,916
Also D, yes, that was sarcasm.
998
00:46:44,416 --> 00:46:45,333
Hey, hey, hey!
999
00:46:45,416 --> 00:46:45,833
Come on, huts!
1000
00:46:46,541 --> 00:46:47,041
Take five.
1001
00:46:47,291 --> 00:46:47,500
Go!
1002
00:46:47,958 --> 00:46:48,166
Go.
1003
00:46:48,916 --> 00:46:49,791
Pull down.
1004
00:46:51,166 --> 00:46:51,416
Come on.
1005
00:46:52,250 --> 00:46:52,916
Come on.
1006
00:47:00,708 --> 00:47:01,166
I'm sorry.
1007
00:47:01,375 --> 00:47:02,958
He can get a little hot under the collar.
1008
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:04,666
Yeah, no kidding.
1009
00:47:04,875 --> 00:47:05,666
Do you need anything?
1010
00:47:06,291 --> 00:47:06,875
Water, coffee?
1011
00:47:07,208 --> 00:47:07,833
I am fine.
1012
00:47:08,250 --> 00:47:09,250
Thank you very much.
1013
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:10,041
Okay.
1014
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:16,375
Just you and me.
1015
00:47:22,500 --> 00:47:23,875
I want you to look me in the eyes.
1016
00:47:25,833 --> 00:47:26,625
And tell me the truth.
1017
00:47:30,583 --> 00:47:30,916
All right.
1018
00:47:32,458 --> 00:47:32,708
How long have you known Ellie?
1019
00:47:34,750 --> 00:47:35,375
14 hours.
1020
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:38,791
You seem to care about her.
1021
00:47:42,166 --> 00:47:43,958
Yeah, maybe I do.
1022
00:47:47,583 --> 00:47:48,833
With that ring, that's...
1023
00:47:49,458 --> 00:47:50,375
it's not yours, correct?
1024
00:47:50,708 --> 00:47:53,208
No, again, I am not married.
1025
00:47:53,875 --> 00:47:54,458
I'm not married.
1026
00:47:54,541 --> 00:47:55,291
I mean, it's not like
1027
00:47:55,375 --> 00:47:56,291
by choice or anything.
1028
00:47:56,375 --> 00:47:58,833
I just haven't met the right person.
1029
00:47:59,166 --> 00:47:59,958
You're telling me.
1030
00:48:01,416 --> 00:48:01,750
Your...
1031
00:48:02,125 --> 00:48:02,333
Single.
1032
00:48:03,208 --> 00:48:03,583
Shocker.
1033
00:48:05,916 --> 00:48:06,166
Kind of.
1034
00:48:07,708 --> 00:48:10,416
No, do you really, um...
1035
00:48:13,708 --> 00:48:14,041
Okay.
1036
00:48:16,708 --> 00:48:17,416
Lady, I have been
1037
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:18,916
waiting here for over an hour.
1038
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:21,583
First of all, it's officer's second.
1039
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,125
I already told you they're
1040
00:48:23,208 --> 00:48:24,250
interrogating the suspect.
1041
00:48:24,583 --> 00:48:25,791
And I already told you they're
1042
00:48:25,875 --> 00:48:27,208
interrogating the wrong guy.
1043
00:48:27,291 --> 00:48:29,041
Can you please just go back there and
1044
00:48:29,125 --> 00:48:30,291
give me some sort of information?
1045
00:48:30,708 --> 00:48:31,250
I'm sorry, Fran. The
1046
00:48:31,333 --> 00:48:32,708
ethernet cable was off, afraid.
1047
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:33,708
Should be working out.
1048
00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:35,041
Thanks, David.
1049
00:48:35,833 --> 00:48:37,375
It's a five-letter word
1050
00:48:37,458 --> 00:48:39,458
for a dog, ending in "H."
1051
00:48:40,291 --> 00:48:40,708
Bitch.
1052
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:42,750
Excuse me.
1053
00:48:43,916 --> 00:48:44,500
Female dog.
1054
00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:48,125
Oh, yeah.
1055
00:48:49,708 --> 00:48:49,916
Thanks.
1056
00:48:50,666 --> 00:48:52,166
Can you please go back there now and give
1057
00:48:52,250 --> 00:48:53,333
me some sort of update?
1058
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,166
Fine, thank you.
1059
00:48:58,125 --> 00:48:58,375
Hey.
1060
00:48:58,750 --> 00:49:00,375
Do we know each other?
1061
00:49:01,875 --> 00:49:03,291
No, I don't think so.
1062
00:49:04,208 --> 00:49:04,416
Bumble.
1063
00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:08,000
Yeah, no, I'm not on the apps.
1064
00:49:08,750 --> 00:49:10,375
Oh. It's a waste of time anyway.
1065
00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:14,541
Just shooting my shot here.
1066
00:49:15,083 --> 00:49:16,875
Um, could I take you
1067
00:49:16,958 --> 00:49:17,583
out to coffee sometime?
1068
00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:18,833
I'll pay for it.
1069
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,916
I almost got murdered tonight.
1070
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:24,708
I am so sorry.
1071
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:25,208
Yeah.
1072
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:26,666
Um, stay safe.
1073
00:49:26,750 --> 00:49:28,333
Have a good night.
1074
00:49:28,708 --> 00:49:30,375
Thank you.
1075
00:49:30,708 --> 00:49:32,291
Who the hell is everybody?
1076
00:49:33,333 --> 00:49:33,833
Celebrating.
1077
00:49:36,416 --> 00:49:37,083
They caught heart ice.
1078
00:49:46,208 --> 00:49:50,833
So what else do you want to tell me?
1079
00:49:51,916 --> 00:49:52,916
Not a serial killer.
1080
00:49:54,958 --> 00:49:55,708
So there's that.
1081
00:49:56,708 --> 00:50:00,625
Were you in Boston in February of 23 and
1082
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:02,291
Philadelphia in February of 24?
1083
00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:04,375
I...
1084
00:50:04,916 --> 00:50:05,791
Let me rephrase.
1085
00:50:05,875 --> 00:50:07,333
You were in Boston and Philly.
1086
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,208
Same dates and locations as H.E.K.'s two
1087
00:50:10,291 --> 00:50:11,291
prior killings sprees.
1088
00:50:13,125 --> 00:50:13,916
Jay, I gotta admit.
1089
00:50:15,166 --> 00:50:16,291
That doesn't look very good.
1090
00:50:18,125 --> 00:50:19,500
I don't know what you want me to say.
1091
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:20,708
I'm a freelancer, so,
1092
00:50:20,791 --> 00:50:23,166
yeah, I travel for, like, work.
1093
00:50:24,875 --> 00:50:25,708
Do you ever get lonely?
1094
00:50:26,708 --> 00:50:27,125
On the road?
1095
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,833
I like to think that I
1096
00:50:30,916 --> 00:50:32,416
can keep myself busy.
1097
00:50:32,500 --> 00:50:32,750
Yeah?
1098
00:50:33,458 --> 00:50:33,750
How?
1099
00:50:35,083 --> 00:50:36,208
How do you blow off steam when you're
1100
00:50:36,291 --> 00:50:37,958
alone with your thoughts, Jay?
1101
00:50:40,708 --> 00:50:42,041
Do you go to a vineyard?
1102
00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:44,500
Have you a spa?
1103
00:50:48,333 --> 00:50:49,000
Holy...
1104
00:50:55,750 --> 00:51:03,500
Holy...
1105
00:51:04,916 --> 00:51:05,041
Hello?
1106
00:51:11,541 --> 00:51:11,666
Detective.
1107
00:51:12,708 --> 00:51:14,333
We got an H.W.W. up front.
1108
00:51:14,416 --> 00:51:15,375
What do you want me to do with her?
1109
00:51:15,458 --> 00:51:16,791
An H.W.W.
1110
00:51:16,875 --> 00:51:18,083
Historical white woman.
1111
00:51:18,583 --> 00:51:19,166
I'll handle her.
1112
00:51:21,208 --> 00:51:21,708
You sit tight.
1113
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:23,708
We're not done yet.
1114
00:51:26,583 --> 00:51:27,041
I'll be here.
1115
00:51:55,750 --> 00:52:00,791
When you've been expected, you all know
1116
00:52:00,875 --> 00:52:03,625
one of the many men every
1117
00:52:03,708 --> 00:52:06,208
toy from his tour guide.
1118
00:52:06,750 --> 00:52:11,958
And if you found something in the butcher
1119
00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:16,541
meat, you then call H.W.W.
1120
00:52:17,916 --> 00:52:18,750
It's your turn.
1121
00:52:19,583 --> 00:52:24,666
What the hell are you doing?
1122
00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:25,250
God!
1123
00:52:26,333 --> 00:52:27,916
Bless the U.S.A.
1124
00:52:28,333 --> 00:52:28,791
I told you.
1125
00:52:29,541 --> 00:52:30,166
I'm so sorry.
1126
00:52:31,625 --> 00:52:32,416
You letting him go?
1127
00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:33,333
Not yet.
1128
00:52:34,125 --> 00:52:35,541
Why the hell not? He's innocent.
1129
00:52:37,041 --> 00:52:38,666
Well, then tell me something. Why is the
1130
00:52:38,750 --> 00:52:39,500
Hard-Ace killer after
1131
00:52:39,583 --> 00:52:40,375
him? You're not a couple.
1132
00:52:41,041 --> 00:52:44,833
I don't know. I assume he saw us and
1133
00:52:44,916 --> 00:52:46,083
thought we were together.
1134
00:52:46,458 --> 00:52:46,708
Why?
1135
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:49,583
We...
1136
00:52:52,333 --> 00:52:52,708
Kissed.
1137
00:52:56,708 --> 00:52:58,708
We had to... We had to kiss.
1138
00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:04,500
We had to kiss because my ex, he was
1139
00:53:04,583 --> 00:53:06,291
there and I was jealous.
1140
00:53:07,916 --> 00:53:09,333
It's really stupid. I know. Okay.
1141
00:53:10,166 --> 00:53:10,791
I get it.
1142
00:53:12,708 --> 00:53:13,000
I do.
1143
00:53:17,125 --> 00:53:18,083
So you're not
1144
00:53:18,166 --> 00:53:19,875
interested in him, romantically?
1145
00:53:21,541 --> 00:53:22,708
Why is that relevant?
1146
00:53:23,708 --> 00:53:24,500
Just girl talk.
1147
00:53:25,625 --> 00:53:29,666
He's cute. He has a really good job.
1148
00:53:32,166 --> 00:53:33,000
Perfect candidate for a
1149
00:53:33,083 --> 00:53:33,958
little girl like yourself.
1150
00:53:36,250 --> 00:53:37,625
A little girl like myself?
1151
00:53:40,833 --> 00:53:41,041
Ah!
1152
00:53:41,750 --> 00:53:45,791
Oh, relax. Probably just the breaker.
1153
00:53:46,958 --> 00:53:47,541
That's what people say
1154
00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:48,875
before they get stabbed to death.
1155
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:51,708
How would you know?
1156
00:53:54,166 --> 00:53:55,041
Watch her.
1157
00:53:57,250 --> 00:53:59,166
No, no, no, no. She's got to watch me.
1158
00:53:59,250 --> 00:54:00,333
Oh, yeah. I'm just getting a flashlight.
1159
00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:02,125
A little space? Any
1160
00:54:02,208 --> 00:54:03,666
closer, you'd be inside me.
1161
00:54:04,500 --> 00:54:05,875
I'm sorry. I'm just scared.
1162
00:54:08,333 --> 00:54:10,125
No, no, no. Careful. He hides in closets.
1163
00:54:19,708 --> 00:54:20,708
No killer's in here.
1164
00:54:25,833 --> 00:54:29,750
No!
1165
00:54:32,708 --> 00:54:57,791
No! No! No!
1166
00:54:59,875 --> 00:55:04,625
Help!
1167
00:55:08,916 --> 00:55:10,833
Hey, what's happening here?
1168
00:55:11,791 --> 00:55:14,708
Go! Get back! Get back!
1169
00:55:23,708 --> 00:55:26,000
Hey, hey, hey, hey, where
1170
00:55:26,083 --> 00:55:26,875
are you going? I'm coming!
1171
00:55:27,375 --> 00:55:30,500
Don't worry, lover boy. I'll protect you.
1172
00:55:31,750 --> 00:55:34,375
No, no, no.
1173
00:55:39,791 --> 00:55:43,041
Shaw!
1174
00:56:09,416 --> 00:56:09,666
Shaw!
1175
00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:42,250
Shaw! Shaw!
1176
00:56:45,708 --> 00:56:46,333
Jay?
1177
00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:48,291
Jay?
1178
00:56:49,708 --> 00:56:50,708
Jay, can you hear me?
1179
00:56:51,708 --> 00:56:54,083
Yes, yes. Ali, Ali,
1180
00:56:54,375 --> 00:56:55,750
you've got to find the keys.
1181
00:56:56,416 --> 00:56:58,708
Uh, Hobbs has the keys. Okay, you have to
1182
00:56:58,791 --> 00:56:59,458
find Hobbs because he
1183
00:56:59,541 --> 00:57:00,458
locked me in the locker.
1184
00:57:01,291 --> 00:57:02,291
Fucking asshole.
1185
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:05,250
Ali?
1186
00:57:08,708 --> 00:57:09,333
Ali.
1187
00:57:13,791 --> 00:57:15,000
Duh, she ditched me.
1188
00:57:17,625 --> 00:57:17,708
That's okay.
1189
00:57:20,750 --> 00:57:21,291
Ali.
1190
00:57:32,083 --> 00:57:35,416
Hey.
1191
00:57:41,583 --> 00:57:45,958
Come on.
1192
00:57:46,958 --> 00:57:47,833
Hey, come on.
1193
00:57:48,416 --> 00:57:48,708
This is not fair!
1194
00:58:03,041 --> 00:58:03,208
No!
1195
00:58:03,291 --> 00:58:03,458
Die.
1196
00:58:10,500 --> 00:58:10,708
Jay!
1197
00:58:13,708 --> 00:58:14,333
Careful, don't!
1198
00:58:15,750 --> 00:58:17,708
Hi.
1199
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:22,416
Are you okay?
1200
00:58:23,708 --> 00:58:26,041
You're a terrible shot, by the way.
1201
00:58:26,625 --> 00:58:27,791
Don't fucking push it, Romeo.
1202
00:58:28,083 --> 00:58:28,416
Okay.
1203
00:58:31,708 --> 00:58:31,958
No!
1204
00:58:32,666 --> 00:58:34,041
Ali! No!
1205
00:58:34,333 --> 00:58:34,916
No, no, no!
1206
00:58:35,750 --> 00:58:39,166
You saved my life.
1207
00:58:39,791 --> 00:58:40,416
You saved mine.
1208
00:58:41,583 --> 00:58:42,125
How did you win?
1209
00:58:47,041 --> 00:58:48,166
We're not together!
1210
00:58:48,666 --> 00:58:49,666
Don't kill somebody else!
1211
00:58:49,750 --> 00:58:51,125
Get up, get up, get up, get
1212
00:58:51,208 --> 00:58:55,333
up, get up, get up, get up!
1213
00:58:55,416 --> 00:58:59,875
Oh, fuck.
1214
00:59:01,041 --> 00:59:01,958
Do you know what we just did?
1215
00:59:02,166 --> 00:59:03,208
Yeah, we led a couples
1216
00:59:03,291 --> 00:59:04,791
killing maniac to a, uh...
1217
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,416
Two in all you can kill, Buffet.
1218
00:59:06,708 --> 00:59:20,500
Okay. You know what, Lorenzo?
1219
00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:21,083
Okay.
1220
00:59:21,708 --> 00:59:23,291
Are you kidding me?
1221
00:59:24,750 --> 00:59:26,083
Oh, shit.
1222
00:59:30,458 --> 00:59:36,750
Yo, that costume is dope!
1223
00:59:40,791 --> 00:59:41,500
I don't like that.
1224
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,333
What the fuck?
1225
01:00:07,541 --> 01:00:08,208
What's up, man?
1226
01:00:08,291 --> 01:00:10,958
Excuse us.
1227
01:00:12,250 --> 01:00:13,250
What a creep.
1228
01:00:13,750 --> 01:00:15,750
What I came up here to tell you is that
1229
01:00:15,833 --> 01:00:17,125
you must stop calling me for a second
1230
01:00:17,208 --> 01:00:18,625
word a day, sending me 20 seconds.
1231
01:00:18,708 --> 01:00:19,500
Uh, laughing, go.
1232
01:00:20,666 --> 01:00:21,916
Right, go, go, go, go.
1233
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:23,166
This is what I have to say.
1234
01:00:23,416 --> 01:00:23,666
Turn.
1235
01:00:25,500 --> 01:00:26,708
In here.
1236
01:00:32,375 --> 01:00:41,666
In here.
1237
01:00:41,750 --> 01:00:44,000
Put a fucking shoot on,
1238
01:00:44,083 --> 01:00:45,375
there's a killer after us.
1239
01:00:45,791 --> 01:00:46,833
What is it?
1240
01:00:48,291 --> 01:00:49,708
The hard-hiced killer.
1241
01:00:50,166 --> 01:00:51,125
He's out there right now.
1242
01:00:51,208 --> 01:00:52,000
We need to be quiet.
1243
01:00:52,916 --> 01:00:54,708
Oh, dude, that's so hot.
1244
01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:57,375
We love role-playing.
1245
01:00:58,583 --> 01:00:59,625
Oh, my God, he's coming.
1246
01:00:59,875 --> 01:01:00,500
We're so dead.
1247
01:01:00,708 --> 01:01:02,083
Oh, he's so scary.
1248
01:01:02,291 --> 01:01:03,333
Oh, he can't stay here.
1249
01:01:24,750 --> 01:01:26,250
Maybe we lay low for a little bit.
1250
01:01:29,083 --> 01:01:37,625
I actually kind of like this movie.
1251
01:01:38,125 --> 01:01:38,791
Yeah, you like that?
1252
01:01:40,958 --> 01:01:41,166
Really?
1253
01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:44,750
Yeah, are you surprised?
1254
01:01:47,541 --> 01:01:48,666
A little bit, yeah.
1255
01:01:48,750 --> 01:01:49,791
Oh, no.
1256
01:01:53,708 --> 01:01:55,833
I did ditch you.
1257
01:01:56,208 --> 01:01:57,125
Oh, no.
1258
01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,375
No, ditch me.
1259
01:02:01,875 --> 01:02:02,666
It's what I'm best at.
1260
01:02:03,875 --> 01:02:04,458
Ditching people?
1261
01:02:04,708 --> 01:02:04,916
Running.
1262
01:02:06,333 --> 01:02:07,625
Hey, I was holding my own.
1263
01:02:08,041 --> 01:02:08,833
You didn't see me shaking.
1264
01:02:09,250 --> 01:02:10,250
Those little leather boots.
1265
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,708
Jay, I wasn't entirely honest at dinner.
1266
01:02:19,166 --> 01:02:20,208
My parents had this,
1267
01:02:20,291 --> 01:02:23,958
like, storybook romance.
1268
01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:27,208
They were literally perfect together.
1269
01:02:31,125 --> 01:02:31,958
And then my dad died.
1270
01:02:34,666 --> 01:02:36,750
And I don't think my
1271
01:02:36,833 --> 01:02:37,958
mom ever fully recovered.
1272
01:02:41,708 --> 01:02:42,541
I'm sorry.
1273
01:02:46,500 --> 01:02:47,458
You know, when I was a kid,
1274
01:02:48,750 --> 01:02:52,166
my parents just hated each other.
1275
01:02:53,291 --> 01:02:56,208
I mean, they fought all the time.
1276
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:02,166
I think that is why I'm just this, um,
1277
01:03:04,083 --> 01:03:04,875
capitalist romantic.
1278
01:03:06,208 --> 01:03:07,708
Just putting every girl
1279
01:03:07,791 --> 01:03:09,708
I fall for on a pedestal,
1280
01:03:10,166 --> 01:03:11,333
only to have my heart
1281
01:03:11,416 --> 01:03:14,708
broken over and over and over.
1282
01:03:18,750 --> 01:03:19,625
Keep going.
1283
01:03:20,208 --> 01:03:21,375
Only because they...
1284
01:03:23,750 --> 01:03:26,083
they just can't breathe
1285
01:03:26,166 --> 01:03:28,666
in my suffocating attempt
1286
01:03:29,708 --> 01:03:32,500
to prove mom and dad wrong.
1287
01:03:38,125 --> 01:03:38,541
No, I think...
1288
01:03:39,583 --> 01:03:43,791
I think tonight should have been, like,
1289
01:03:43,875 --> 01:03:44,708
the worst night of my life.
1290
01:03:49,833 --> 01:03:55,541
But it isn't.
1291
01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:59,083
They don't.
1292
01:03:59,833 --> 01:04:00,750
Baby, you're so wet.
1293
01:04:04,750 --> 01:04:08,666
God, you're so hard.
1294
01:04:11,208 --> 01:04:15,708
At least they're having fun.
1295
01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:16,708
Holy shit.
1296
01:04:18,708 --> 01:04:20,208
Those come around.
1297
01:04:22,833 --> 01:04:23,708
You know it's too early.
1298
01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:25,125
Shut the fuck up.
1299
01:04:25,833 --> 01:04:26,541
Shut up.
1300
01:04:26,833 --> 01:04:27,458
Shut the fuck up.
1301
01:04:27,541 --> 01:04:28,750
Shut up.
1302
01:04:28,833 --> 01:04:29,458
Shut up.
1303
01:04:29,541 --> 01:04:29,750
Shut up.
1304
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:30,250
Shut up.
1305
01:04:30,791 --> 01:04:31,375
Shut up.
1306
01:04:31,958 --> 01:04:32,541
Shut up.
1307
01:04:33,041 --> 01:04:33,291
Shut up.
1308
01:04:35,708 --> 01:04:36,541
I'm coming.
1309
01:04:37,708 --> 01:04:37,750
I'm coming.
1310
01:04:37,833 --> 01:04:38,750
Oh, yeah.
1311
01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:41,666
[screaming]
1312
01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:56,333
Holy shit.
1313
01:04:57,125 --> 01:04:58,166
Someone call 911!
1314
01:05:00,916 --> 01:05:01,125
Fuck!
1315
01:05:05,333 --> 01:05:05,541
Fuck!
1316
01:05:07,583 --> 01:05:07,791
Fuck!
1317
01:05:10,583 --> 01:05:10,791
[screaming]
1318
01:05:10,875 --> 01:05:11,291
Please, no!
1319
01:05:11,583 --> 01:05:12,250
Please, no!
1320
01:05:12,791 --> 01:05:14,333
[screaming]
1321
01:05:14,416 --> 01:05:16,250
[screaming]
1322
01:05:20,125 --> 01:05:31,375
[screaming]
1323
01:05:31,458 --> 01:05:34,500
[screaming]
1324
01:05:34,583 --> 01:05:36,875
[crying]
1325
01:05:36,958 --> 01:05:41,375
[crying]
1326
01:05:41,458 --> 01:05:50,500
[crying] [screaming]
1327
01:05:51,708 --> 01:05:52,833
What are you--
1328
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:54,666
Hey, Callie, what are you doing?
1329
01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:54,875
Wait.
1330
01:05:55,291 --> 01:05:55,958
Wait for what?
1331
01:05:56,041 --> 01:05:56,833
He's gonna kill us.
1332
01:05:58,083 --> 01:05:59,708
And if he doesn't kill us,
1333
01:06:00,541 --> 01:06:01,833
he's gonna keep killing people.
1334
01:06:02,250 --> 01:06:03,208
We brought him here.
1335
01:06:05,250 --> 01:06:05,875
We ended here.
1336
01:06:07,333 --> 01:06:07,625
Come on.
1337
01:06:08,666 --> 01:06:09,708
I thought we were a team.
1338
01:06:18,750 --> 01:06:21,708
[music playing]
1339
01:06:44,541 --> 01:06:47,166
[music playing]
1340
01:06:47,250 --> 01:06:48,333
[screaming]
1341
01:06:52,708 --> 01:06:53,666
Hey, fuck I!
1342
01:06:57,875 --> 01:06:58,500
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1343
01:06:59,750 --> 01:07:00,291
We need a weapon.
1344
01:07:01,916 --> 01:07:02,416
I have this.
1345
01:07:03,666 --> 01:07:04,958
That is not a weapon.
1346
01:07:08,291 --> 01:07:08,833
That could work.
1347
01:07:15,750 --> 01:07:16,708
I don't think I can do that.
1348
01:07:16,791 --> 01:07:17,000
Oh, yeah.
1349
01:07:18,250 --> 01:07:18,708
Yes, you can.
1350
01:07:19,708 --> 01:07:31,000
Come on.
1351
01:07:34,625 --> 01:07:37,750
[screaming]
1352
01:07:37,833 --> 01:07:39,166
Yeah, right!
1353
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:43,458
Callie!
1354
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:44,666
[screaming]
1355
01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:46,708
[grunting]
1356
01:07:49,666 --> 01:07:58,833
[grunting]
1357
01:07:58,916 --> 01:07:59,583
No.
1358
01:08:00,791 --> 01:08:04,083
[screaming]
1359
01:08:04,166 --> 01:08:08,250
Oh, shit.
1360
01:08:18,750 --> 01:08:21,541
[screaming]
1361
01:08:21,625 --> 01:08:25,708
[screaming]
1362
01:08:25,791 --> 01:08:35,500
Thanks a lot, Jay.
1363
01:08:36,125 --> 01:08:36,625
What?
1364
01:08:37,708 --> 01:08:39,583
You got it in my mouth.
1365
01:08:39,833 --> 01:08:41,000
It just saved your life.
1366
01:08:41,291 --> 01:08:42,500
Oh my God, I think I'm gonna be sick.
1367
01:08:43,083 --> 01:08:44,125
Oh, hey.
1368
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:45,708
Oh, no, no, no.
1369
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:53,208
[coughing]
1370
01:08:53,291 --> 01:08:55,750
I told you I was not good with blood.
1371
01:08:56,708 --> 01:08:57,166
No kidding.
1372
01:08:57,708 --> 01:08:59,875
[sighing]
1373
01:08:59,958 --> 01:09:19,291
Who the fuck is that?
1374
01:09:20,541 --> 01:09:21,375
I have no idea.
1375
01:09:27,750 --> 01:09:30,875
[crashing]
1376
01:09:33,125 --> 01:09:35,250
You two, you're gonna be famous.
1377
01:09:35,875 --> 01:09:38,125
The couple that stopped our eyes.
1378
01:09:41,708 --> 01:09:42,500
That's very cute.
1379
01:09:44,125 --> 01:09:45,083
Thank you.
1380
01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:45,458
Thank you.
1381
01:09:45,541 --> 01:09:45,875
Thank you.
1382
01:09:47,583 --> 01:09:48,458
I'm gonna leave you alone now.
1383
01:09:48,708 --> 01:09:53,125
[footsteps]
1384
01:09:53,208 --> 01:09:54,541
Hey, they come over here.
1385
01:09:56,500 --> 01:09:57,541
Showing the dark here.
1386
01:09:58,791 --> 01:10:00,916
I'm gonna come back to my hotel and try
1387
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,750
and crack this campaign before my flight.
1388
01:10:04,791 --> 01:10:06,791
Just actually ate some dinner.
1389
01:10:07,666 --> 01:10:09,166
We're at a whole bunch of room service.
1390
01:10:15,250 --> 01:10:16,708
Jay, you can't?
1391
01:10:18,750 --> 01:10:22,000
[sighing]
1392
01:10:22,083 --> 01:10:24,958
[door creaking]
1393
01:10:25,541 --> 01:10:26,041
Hey, you two.
1394
01:10:29,708 --> 01:10:31,166
Just wanna make sure
1395
01:10:31,250 --> 01:10:32,125
you both got home safe.
1396
01:10:33,208 --> 01:10:34,125
Either of you need a lift.
1397
01:10:35,083 --> 01:10:40,875
Um, actually, I suppose you have a phone
1398
01:10:40,958 --> 01:10:42,791
just so I can call a cab.
1399
01:10:43,208 --> 01:10:44,041
No, don't be silly.
1400
01:10:44,125 --> 01:10:45,041
I'll give you a ride home.
1401
01:10:45,458 --> 01:10:45,666
At least I can do.
1402
01:10:45,750 --> 01:10:47,791
You're cherry to wait.
1403
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:50,416
Okay.
1404
01:10:54,708 --> 01:10:56,458
Work call later?
1405
01:10:59,333 --> 01:10:59,958
Sounds like a plan.
1406
01:11:04,583 --> 01:11:06,666
Hey, uh, does anyone have a pen?
1407
01:11:06,875 --> 01:11:07,666
I got you, dude.
1408
01:11:07,750 --> 01:11:07,916
Okay.
1409
01:11:09,708 --> 01:11:11,291
Can I see that?
1410
01:11:12,458 --> 01:11:12,708
[phone ringing]
1411
01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:20,416
That's me.
1412
01:11:24,416 --> 01:11:25,250
Your chariot awaits.
1413
01:11:31,708 --> 01:11:32,666
She's not my type.
1414
01:11:32,750 --> 01:11:41,625
[phone ringing]
1415
01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:48,666
[phone ringing]
1416
01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:57,625
Hey, um, I got another call, so I'm just
1417
01:11:57,708 --> 01:11:58,875
gonna have to take that.
1418
01:11:59,375 --> 01:12:00,666
And that, too.
1419
01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:04,375
[phone ringing] [phone ringing]
1420
01:12:04,458 --> 01:12:13,083
[phone ringing]
1421
01:12:13,166 --> 01:12:14,833
[phone ringing]
1422
01:12:14,916 --> 01:12:15,708
Hey, do you need a ride?
1423
01:12:30,750 --> 01:12:50,791
[phone ringing]
1424
01:12:50,875 --> 01:12:53,708
Hey.
1425
01:12:54,041 --> 01:12:54,708
Um, do you have
1426
01:12:54,791 --> 01:12:55,750
something you wanna tell me?
1427
01:12:56,083 --> 01:12:56,750
Oh, you're never gonna
1428
01:12:56,833 --> 01:12:57,541
believe what happened.
1429
01:12:57,875 --> 01:12:59,500
Hello, heart eyes? Are you kidding me?
1430
01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:01,333
Hey, are you okay? Tell me the truth. Do
1431
01:13:01,416 --> 01:13:01,958
you need to come over?
1432
01:13:02,208 --> 01:13:03,375
I can sleep in Arthur's panic room.
1433
01:13:05,708 --> 01:13:07,208
No, I hate this feeling.
1434
01:13:08,416 --> 01:13:08,791
What feeling?
1435
01:13:11,125 --> 01:13:11,833
Liking someone.
1436
01:13:13,375 --> 01:13:14,541
God, I fucked up.
1437
01:13:15,708 --> 01:13:18,291
I fucked up, Mon. I met a really, really
1438
01:13:18,375 --> 01:13:20,166
great guy, and now he's gone.
1439
01:13:23,833 --> 01:13:24,291
Where is he?
1440
01:13:25,083 --> 01:13:25,833
At the airport.
1441
01:13:26,458 --> 01:13:26,708
Oh.
1442
01:13:27,083 --> 01:13:27,708
Okay, great. He's at
1443
01:13:27,791 --> 01:13:28,541
the airport. Go get him.
1444
01:13:28,708 --> 01:13:33,041
I-- Hey, Ali? Ali, listen to me. You
1445
01:13:33,125 --> 01:13:34,125
deserve to be happy.
1446
01:13:34,791 --> 01:13:36,833
You deserve to have someone love you for
1447
01:13:36,916 --> 01:13:37,958
the beautiful,
1448
01:13:38,208 --> 01:13:39,833
neurotic mess that you are.
1449
01:13:40,916 --> 01:13:41,500
I mean, you could be
1450
01:13:41,583 --> 01:13:42,708
so clueless sometimes.
1451
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:43,583
It's one of the ten
1452
01:13:43,666 --> 01:13:44,708
things I hate about you.
1453
01:13:44,791 --> 01:13:47,166
Honestly, you can't let Jay go off to his
1454
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:48,000
best friend's wedding
1455
01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:49,791
and hook up with a bunch of bridesmaids
1456
01:13:49,875 --> 01:13:50,708
and move to Notting Hill.
1457
01:13:50,791 --> 01:13:52,750
No. This is love, Mama.
1458
01:13:53,708 --> 01:13:54,500
Some kind of
1459
01:13:54,583 --> 01:13:57,708
wonderful, crazy, stupid love.
1460
01:13:58,708 --> 01:13:59,291
Actually...
1461
01:14:01,416 --> 01:14:03,000
Go get him. Go get that
1462
01:14:03,083 --> 01:14:04,500
beautiful, melanin man.
1463
01:14:04,583 --> 01:14:04,833
Okay?
1464
01:14:05,250 --> 01:14:05,750
It's gorgeous.
1465
01:14:05,916 --> 01:14:06,375
Oh, my God.
1466
01:14:06,458 --> 01:14:07,125
You gotta go. You
1467
01:14:07,208 --> 01:14:07,750
gotta get it right there.
1468
01:14:07,833 --> 01:14:08,208
I'm going.
1469
01:14:08,291 --> 01:14:09,541
I love you. You're beautiful.
1470
01:14:12,166 --> 01:14:13,833
This is your final call for all
1471
01:14:13,916 --> 01:14:16,666
passengers on flight 403 to Boston.
1472
01:14:19,333 --> 01:14:19,958
Thank you.
1473
01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:22,666
Jay?
1474
01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:24,291
Please have your boarding
1475
01:14:24,375 --> 01:14:26,000
pass at the station ready.
1476
01:14:26,666 --> 01:14:26,708
Jay!
1477
01:14:26,750 --> 01:14:32,166
Thank you. Jay?
1478
01:14:34,125 --> 01:14:34,416
Jay?
1479
01:14:35,750 --> 01:14:35,958
Jay?
1480
01:14:36,541 --> 01:14:36,791
Jay?
1481
01:14:36,875 --> 01:14:37,041
Sorry!
1482
01:14:39,125 --> 01:14:39,666
Jay?
1483
01:14:43,708 --> 01:14:46,416
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I
1484
01:14:46,500 --> 01:14:47,750
thought you were somebody else.
1485
01:14:50,750 --> 01:14:50,958
Sorry.
1486
01:14:53,708 --> 01:14:54,708
Your flight is boarded
1487
01:14:54,791 --> 01:14:55,666
and ready for departure.
1488
01:14:55,750 --> 01:14:57,583
Please make your way to the
1489
01:14:57,666 --> 01:14:59,583
main lounge 11 immediately.)
1490
01:15:00,458 --> 01:15:00,666
Hello?
1491
01:15:01,291 --> 01:15:01,958
Roses are red.
1492
01:15:02,708 --> 01:15:03,708
Millets are black.
1493
01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:07,666
Guess who's with me and not coming back?
1494
01:15:08,083 --> 01:15:08,750
Who is this?
1495
01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:11,625
We've met before.
1496
01:15:12,541 --> 01:15:13,333
Forget me not.
1497
01:15:13,666 --> 01:15:17,458
(I tell it not! Don't do this!)
1498
01:15:17,708 --> 01:15:18,916
St. Valentine's Chapel.
1499
01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:21,625
Come alone or he dies.
1500
01:15:22,041 --> 01:15:22,375
Okay.
1501
01:15:23,458 --> 01:15:24,416
Call for help.
1502
01:15:24,750 --> 01:15:25,666
He dies.
1503
01:15:26,750 --> 01:15:28,250
Okay. Just please don't hurt him.
1504
01:15:30,083 --> 01:15:30,708
That's up to you, sweetheart.
1505
01:16:16,833 --> 01:16:18,458
They say love is blind.
1506
01:16:19,916 --> 01:16:21,708
And lovers cannot see.)
1507
01:16:24,750 --> 01:16:31,291
(The pretty follies that
they themselves commit.)
1508
01:16:31,375 --> 01:16:38,291
(Where love isn't blind.)
1509
01:16:43,208 --> 01:16:43,666
Is it?
1510
01:16:45,291 --> 01:16:45,750
Wait, you're...
1511
01:16:47,708 --> 01:16:48,208
It's me.
1512
01:16:51,458 --> 01:16:51,708
David.
1513
01:16:55,708 --> 01:16:57,875
The IT guy.
1514
01:16:59,500 --> 01:17:01,083
Who the fuck did we kill then?
1515
01:17:02,708 --> 01:17:03,083
Eli.
1516
01:17:04,375 --> 01:17:06,000
Poor, stupid Eli.
1517
01:17:06,916 --> 01:17:08,125
You guys were a couple?
1518
01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:09,333
Couple? No.
1519
01:17:12,291 --> 01:17:12,791
Thrupple.
1520
01:17:17,166 --> 01:17:19,666
Love looks with eyes wide open.
1521
01:17:21,375 --> 01:17:23,708
Seeking what the heart desires the most.
1522
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:26,291
Partner.
1523
01:17:28,375 --> 01:17:29,583
It's true companion.
1524
01:17:34,708 --> 01:17:36,250
I found mine ten
1525
01:17:36,333 --> 01:17:37,833
years ago in a chat room.
1526
01:17:39,625 --> 01:17:41,208
David saw me, he
1527
01:17:41,291 --> 01:17:44,500
understood me, and I understood him.
1528
01:17:46,958 --> 01:17:52,666
We got married here.
1529
01:17:52,750 --> 01:17:53,083
Yeah.
1530
01:17:53,875 --> 01:17:54,625
You know, I didn't really
1531
01:17:54,708 --> 01:17:56,250
take you for the religious type.
1532
01:17:57,708 --> 01:17:58,166
No.
1533
01:17:59,083 --> 01:18:00,458
I just like this story.
1534
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:05,250
St. Valentine...
1535
01:18:08,250 --> 01:18:08,958
...was beheaded.
1536
01:18:12,916 --> 01:18:14,875
You murdered innocent people.
1537
01:18:16,291 --> 01:18:16,833
Show what you love.
1538
01:18:16,916 --> 01:18:17,750
Show what you love.
1539
01:18:20,583 --> 01:18:21,708
And we love hunting.
1540
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:23,458
Killing.
1541
01:18:24,958 --> 01:18:25,708
Deceit.
1542
01:18:26,666 --> 01:18:28,541
Taking turns on our victims.
1543
01:18:30,625 --> 01:18:31,250
Murdering couples.
1544
01:18:34,708 --> 01:18:35,958
Is our kick.
1545
01:18:38,166 --> 01:18:39,583
Everybody's got to fetish.
1546
01:18:41,541 --> 01:18:46,083
Well, too bad we wasted
1547
01:18:46,166 --> 01:18:47,541
your boyfriend at the drive-in.
1548
01:18:47,833 --> 01:18:48,791
Oh, God.
1549
01:18:49,083 --> 01:18:50,083
He wasn't a boyfriend.
1550
01:18:51,125 --> 01:18:54,041
No, Eli was just a stupid fanboy.
1551
01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:55,125
He was obsessed with us.
1552
01:18:55,791 --> 01:18:56,875
He was obsessed with me.
1553
01:18:57,208 --> 01:18:58,916
Yeah, he learned a lot from me.
1554
01:18:59,583 --> 01:19:00,416
You just got messy.
1555
01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:03,750
I almost got you at home.
1556
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:07,958
I killed your driver.
1557
01:19:08,166 --> 01:19:08,375
No!
1558
01:19:09,333 --> 01:19:10,666
You're not throwing people!
1559
01:19:10,958 --> 01:19:11,500
What are you doing?
1560
01:19:11,750 --> 01:19:14,000
And I had a blast wasting those vile
1561
01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:15,083
dickheads at the winer.
1562
01:19:17,708 --> 01:19:18,708
That reminds me.
1563
01:19:19,708 --> 01:19:19,791
Oh.
1564
01:19:20,958 --> 01:19:21,541
Found this.
1565
01:19:22,166 --> 01:19:22,458
God.
1566
01:19:23,333 --> 01:19:25,208
You're the fucking best.
1567
01:19:26,041 --> 01:19:27,208
Isn't she the fucking best?
1568
01:19:27,458 --> 01:19:28,000
Yeah, I know.
1569
01:19:28,708 --> 01:19:29,416
And as luck would have
1570
01:19:29,500 --> 01:19:32,125
it, your initials matched.
1571
01:19:33,166 --> 01:19:34,500
Jay Shaw.
1572
01:19:35,500 --> 01:19:37,916
Janine Shaw, bitch.
1573
01:19:39,750 --> 01:19:40,458
Why us?
1574
01:19:40,916 --> 01:19:42,083
We're not even a couple.
1575
01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:43,083
Just let him go.
1576
01:19:43,166 --> 01:19:43,708
Let him go.
1577
01:19:44,708 --> 01:19:47,916
Truth be told, we were going to kill the
1578
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:49,041
other couple at the restaurant.
1579
01:19:50,625 --> 01:19:53,708
But then, we saw that kiss.
1580
01:19:53,791 --> 01:19:54,708
Oh, that kiss.
1581
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:55,250
God.
1582
01:19:56,166 --> 01:19:58,708
Your chemistry is undeniable.
1583
01:20:13,750 --> 01:20:15,250
Well, I didn't know that
1584
01:20:15,333 --> 01:20:16,666
murder was a love language.
1585
01:20:17,166 --> 01:20:17,916
Try it.
1586
01:20:19,083 --> 01:20:20,625
Maybe you'll like it.
1587
01:20:26,041 --> 01:20:26,583
Pick it up.
1588
01:20:29,291 --> 01:20:29,916
Pick it up.
1589
01:20:31,541 --> 01:20:33,125
There's a single bullet in that chamber
1590
01:20:33,208 --> 01:20:34,291
with one single choice.
1591
01:20:34,583 --> 01:20:35,458
Him or you?
1592
01:20:45,458 --> 01:20:47,083
We may have mistaken you for lovers at
1593
01:20:47,166 --> 01:20:48,000
the beginning of the night,
1594
01:20:48,083 --> 01:20:49,166
but can you prove us right?
1595
01:20:50,250 --> 01:20:52,250
Could you save his life with yours,
1596
01:20:52,333 --> 01:20:53,375
thus proving that love
1597
01:20:53,458 --> 01:20:55,458
really does conquer all?
1598
01:20:57,583 --> 01:20:59,875
If you don't love him, kill him.
1599
01:21:01,625 --> 01:21:02,333
And you're free to go.
1600
01:21:06,208 --> 01:21:06,833
Wow.
1601
01:21:10,375 --> 01:21:12,375
You know, your dedication is impressive.
1602
01:21:15,750 --> 01:21:17,208
Just twist it as fuck, but...
1603
01:21:22,458 --> 01:21:22,833
Jane.
1604
01:21:26,708 --> 01:21:29,750
I spent so long running from love.
1605
01:21:32,625 --> 01:21:34,208
Convinced it would destroy me.
1606
01:21:35,708 --> 01:21:43,750
I don't want to be that person anymore.
1607
01:21:47,333 --> 01:21:50,291
I want the storybook thing.
1608
01:21:54,708 --> 01:21:57,666
It was just one single night.
1609
01:21:57,750 --> 01:22:00,458
It was just one single night.
1610
01:22:04,416 --> 01:22:06,083
But I fell hard for you, Jane.
1611
01:22:15,625 --> 01:22:17,583
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
1612
01:22:17,666 --> 01:22:18,208
no, no, no, no, no, no,
1613
01:22:18,291 --> 01:22:18,791
no, no, don't do that.
1614
01:22:19,333 --> 01:22:20,541
No, no, no.
1615
01:22:20,625 --> 01:22:23,416
Hey, hey, hey, no, no, no, no.
1616
01:22:23,708 --> 01:22:24,083
Forgive me.
1617
01:22:24,333 --> 01:22:24,708
Ali!
1618
01:22:36,500 --> 01:22:36,583
Oh, no.
1619
01:22:36,666 --> 01:22:37,000
Baby, no!
1620
01:22:38,708 --> 01:22:39,791
Oh, you shot me.
1621
01:22:40,041 --> 01:22:41,833
Sorry. I overcorrected.
1622
01:22:41,916 --> 01:22:43,083
It's a lucky fucking shot.
1623
01:22:45,625 --> 01:22:53,541
Ali, would you be what you said?
1624
01:22:55,375 --> 01:22:55,708
Go on.
1625
01:22:56,708 --> 01:22:57,250
Okay.
1626
01:22:58,958 --> 01:23:00,416
Chop that pretty boy up. I'm
1627
01:23:00,500 --> 01:23:01,750
gonna have fun with this one.
1628
01:23:01,833 --> 01:23:02,750
No, no.
1629
01:23:02,833 --> 01:23:03,958
Oh, yes, Mommy.
1630
01:23:04,166 --> 01:23:06,708
No, no, don't you fucking catch him!
1631
01:23:09,708 --> 01:23:16,708
You shouldn't have shot me, bitch.
1632
01:23:26,708 --> 01:23:27,875
Hey, hey, come on.
1633
01:23:28,708 --> 01:23:29,458
Look at her grow.
1634
01:23:30,291 --> 01:23:35,166
Oh, you don't want to miss this, do you?
1635
01:23:36,541 --> 01:23:37,416
Isn't she perfect?
1636
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:39,166
You talk too much.
1637
01:23:55,708 --> 01:23:58,000
I'm gonna fucking kill you, boo.
1638
01:24:00,958 --> 01:24:13,750
You watching, Jay?
1639
01:24:15,375 --> 01:24:16,916
I want you to see her die.
1640
01:24:22,708 --> 01:24:23,708
Love hurts, bitch.
1641
01:24:26,541 --> 01:24:31,583
[crying]
1642
01:24:31,666 --> 01:24:49,708
[screaming]
1643
01:24:55,750 --> 01:24:57,875
[thunder]
1644
01:24:57,958 --> 01:24:59,708
[screaming]
1645
01:25:25,750 --> 01:25:47,041
[crunching]
1646
01:25:47,708 --> 01:25:49,041
Your day fucking sucks.
1647
01:25:49,708 --> 01:25:53,208
[dramatic music]
1648
01:25:53,708 --> 01:25:54,291
Jay.
1649
01:25:55,750 --> 01:25:56,125
Jay.
1650
01:25:57,666 --> 01:25:59,291
[crying]
1651
01:25:59,750 --> 01:26:00,125
How are you?
1652
01:26:00,875 --> 01:26:02,875
[crying]
1653
01:26:06,708 --> 01:26:09,166
I think you got over your fear of blood.
1654
01:26:10,875 --> 01:26:11,625
[screaming]
1655
01:26:11,708 --> 01:26:12,500
Fuck, really?
1656
01:26:13,083 --> 01:26:14,625
That's fucking hell, dad!
1657
01:26:15,291 --> 01:26:16,625
That's fucking hell, man!
1658
01:26:16,708 --> 01:26:16,833
You're a failure.
1659
01:26:16,958 --> 01:26:17,708
[crunching]
1660
01:26:24,083 --> 01:26:29,958
[crying]
1661
01:26:30,041 --> 01:26:31,166
Planet saved.
1662
01:26:33,708 --> 01:26:34,500
Planet saved.
1663
01:26:49,750 --> 01:26:53,291
[thunder]
1664
01:26:53,375 --> 01:26:59,666
[applause]
1665
01:27:00,708 --> 01:27:03,791
Now, if you told me that a year ago, I'd
1666
01:27:03,875 --> 01:27:06,333
be drinking the highest
1667
01:27:06,416 --> 01:27:08,041
recorded sales in crystal
1668
01:27:08,125 --> 01:27:10,708
cane history, I'd say, "Y'all just a line
1669
01:27:10,791 --> 01:27:12,125
stack of hot trash."
1670
01:27:12,416 --> 01:27:12,625
What?
1671
01:27:14,708 --> 01:27:15,458
Here we are.
1672
01:27:15,750 --> 01:27:18,083
And it's all thanks to
1673
01:27:18,166 --> 01:27:20,625
these two marketing mavens.
1674
01:27:20,708 --> 01:27:23,458
[cheering]
1675
01:27:23,708 --> 01:27:24,333
Right here.
1676
01:27:24,875 --> 01:27:25,375
Thank you.
1677
01:27:26,708 --> 01:27:29,500
Now, Ella, I am, believe it or not,
1678
01:27:29,583 --> 01:27:30,583
mildly devastated that
1679
01:27:30,666 --> 01:27:31,916
this is your last day.
1680
01:27:32,708 --> 01:27:34,375
But I'm proud of you for going pursuing
1681
01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:36,875
your dreams, going back to doctor school.
1682
01:27:37,416 --> 01:27:38,958
All told, I really do hope that you're
1683
01:27:39,041 --> 01:27:39,916
better with a needle than
1684
01:27:40,000 --> 01:27:41,083
you are with a pitch deck.
1685
01:27:44,083 --> 01:27:44,708
To Nick's house!
1686
01:27:45,708 --> 01:27:46,583
To success!
1687
01:27:47,458 --> 01:27:47,666
Wait.
1688
01:27:50,000 --> 01:27:50,458
To love.
1689
01:27:54,958 --> 01:27:58,958
Hey, baby.
1690
01:27:59,708 --> 01:27:59,958
Hi.
1691
01:28:01,250 --> 01:28:02,375
What did I miss?
1692
01:28:02,708 --> 01:28:03,791
Hey, do you think it's weird having a
1693
01:28:03,875 --> 01:28:05,250
date here after everything that happened?
1694
01:28:06,625 --> 01:28:07,666
Nope, not to me.
1695
01:28:08,958 --> 01:28:09,625
This is where I realized
1696
01:28:09,708 --> 01:28:10,583
I was in love with you.
1697
01:28:11,708 --> 01:28:13,666
So, I feel symbolic.
1698
01:28:13,750 --> 01:28:15,208
Okay, symbolic.
1699
01:28:16,250 --> 01:28:17,041
Do you think it's some--
1700
01:28:18,833 --> 01:28:19,916
Listen, don't freak out.
1701
01:28:20,750 --> 01:28:21,375
Don't freak out.
1702
01:28:21,708 --> 01:28:22,541
I know stuff like this
1703
01:28:22,625 --> 01:28:23,708
can freak you out, but...
1704
01:28:26,750 --> 01:28:27,291
Ella, this has been
1705
01:28:27,375 --> 01:28:28,458
the best year of my life.
1706
01:28:31,291 --> 01:28:31,458
So...
1707
01:28:34,250 --> 01:28:35,333
Willy, you move in with me.
1708
01:28:45,000 --> 01:28:46,291
Jay, I...
1709
01:28:47,708 --> 01:28:49,125
I don't know what to say.
1710
01:28:50,583 --> 01:28:52,666
Yeah, no, I know where
1711
01:28:52,750 --> 01:28:53,916
that's going. That's okay.
1712
01:28:54,000 --> 01:28:55,500
No, I don't want to key.
1713
01:28:57,708 --> 01:28:59,208
I don't want to key.
1714
01:29:02,625 --> 01:29:04,708
I don't want you.
1715
01:29:13,750 --> 01:29:16,041
[sighs]
1716
01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:19,458
Jay Simmons.
1717
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:23,708
Will you marry me?
1718
01:29:35,541 --> 01:29:35,750
Yes.
1719
01:29:36,750 --> 01:29:37,708
Yes.
1720
01:29:38,125 --> 01:29:40,541
Yes, yes, a million fucking times.
1721
01:29:41,708 --> 01:29:42,000
Yes.
1722
01:29:43,708 --> 01:29:45,708
[music playing]
1723
01:30:13,750 --> 01:30:15,708
[music playing]
1724
01:30:43,750 --> 01:30:45,708
[music playing]
1725
01:31:14,375 --> 01:31:20,500
[music playing]
1726
01:31:35,708 --> 01:31:36,291
Hello?
1727
01:31:43,708 --> 01:31:45,750
Who is this?
1728
01:31:47,791 --> 01:31:48,291
Relax, bitch.
1729
01:31:48,916 --> 01:31:51,208
Tucson? Monica, that's not funny.
1730
01:31:51,541 --> 01:31:52,833
Where are you?
1731
01:31:54,416 --> 01:31:54,916
Did you get it?
1732
01:31:55,125 --> 01:31:56,625
Of course I got it. Are you kidding me?
1733
01:31:56,708 --> 01:31:57,375
You look super cute.
1734
01:31:57,458 --> 01:31:58,958
I mean, I would have gotten a manicure,
1735
01:31:59,166 --> 01:31:59,833
but I told you that,
1736
01:31:59,916 --> 01:32:00,500
and you're fine with that.
1737
01:32:00,750 --> 01:32:02,541
You're a natural gal. You look great.
1738
01:32:03,083 --> 01:32:05,333
Okay, enjoy the movie, Fiancees.
1739
01:32:05,666 --> 01:32:06,291
Love you.
1740
01:32:08,250 --> 01:32:08,583
Ali?
1741
01:32:09,500 --> 01:32:09,708
Hello?
1742
01:32:13,750 --> 01:32:15,708
[music playing]
1743
01:34:43,708 --> 01:34:46,708
[music playing]
1744
01:35:43,708 --> 01:35:45,708
[music playing]
1745
01:36:13,708 --> 01:36:16,708
[music playing]
1746
01:36:43,750 --> 01:36:58,583
[music playing]
1747
01:36:58,666 --> 01:37:03,375
[music playing]
1748
01:37:13,708 --> 01:37:16,708
[music playing]108487
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