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1
00:00:13,023 --> 00:00:21,073
( theme song playing )
2
00:01:00,237 --> 00:01:03,907
By order
of Commandant Wilhelm Klink,
3
00:01:03,949 --> 00:01:08,996
all prisoners have to stay away
from doors and windows,
4
00:01:09,037 --> 00:01:12,291
and are not allowed
to leave the barracks
5
00:01:12,332 --> 00:01:13,959
for no reason whatsoever
6
00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:17,171
until further notice.
7
00:01:17,171 --> 00:01:18,380
You can't do that.
8
00:01:18,422 --> 00:01:20,716
It's against the Geneva
Prisoner of War Convention.
9
00:01:20,757 --> 00:01:22,801
And the rules
of organized warfare.
10
00:01:22,843 --> 00:01:25,971
And don't forget the Interstate
Commerce Commission.
11
00:01:26,013 --> 00:01:29,725
I have given the order.
12
00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:32,936
Every time
I tell them something,
13
00:01:32,978 --> 00:01:35,814
they always give me trouble.
14
00:01:35,856 --> 00:01:37,566
Good-bye,
Schultz!
15
00:01:37,608 --> 00:01:38,734
Good-bye, old Shultz.
16
00:01:38,775 --> 00:01:40,235
Hey, Colonel,
what's happening?
17
00:01:40,277 --> 00:01:41,695
We're gonna find out
right now.
18
00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:42,529
Carter, watch the door.
19
00:01:52,789 --> 00:01:56,043
Hey, they just
brought in a civilian.
20
00:01:56,043 --> 00:01:57,711
Anybody we know?
21
00:01:57,711 --> 00:02:00,005
He's guarded
by two Kraut officers.
22
00:02:00,047 --> 00:02:02,257
They put him
in that storage building
23
00:02:02,299 --> 00:02:04,176
they've been cleaning out
all this week.
24
00:02:04,218 --> 00:02:05,552
Must be important.
25
00:02:05,552 --> 00:02:07,221
I could sneak out
and find out,
maybe. No?
26
00:02:07,221 --> 00:02:08,889
Nah, nah, nah.
Got a better idea.
27
00:02:08,889 --> 00:02:10,891
Schultz probably knows
what's going on.
28
00:02:10,891 --> 00:02:12,726
Carter, go tell him
there's a seat open
29
00:02:12,726 --> 00:02:14,186
in the blackjack game.
30
00:02:14,228 --> 00:02:15,604
Newkirk, start
the blackjack game.
31
00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:32,621
21. Name of the game, gents.
32
00:02:32,663 --> 00:02:34,790
Wiederein-und-swanzig.
33
00:02:34,831 --> 00:02:36,416
He beats me again.
34
00:02:36,416 --> 00:02:38,836
He's knocking
my brains out.
35
00:02:38,877 --> 00:02:40,420
Tough luck, old chap.
36
00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:41,922
Care for another go?
37
00:02:41,964 --> 00:02:43,882
What do you think?
38
00:02:43,924 --> 00:02:45,717
You think I'm a sucker?
39
00:02:45,759 --> 00:02:50,055
You think I just got off the bus
from Dusseldorf?
40
00:02:50,097 --> 00:02:53,642
Hmm. I bet 25 marks...
41
00:02:53,684 --> 00:02:55,018
on the cuff.
42
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:56,603
Sorry, Schultz.
43
00:02:56,603 --> 00:02:58,564
You've already had 300 marks
on tick.
44
00:02:58,605 --> 00:03:01,275
You'll have to get the okay
from... Colonel Hogan.
45
00:03:01,316 --> 00:03:02,901
What's the
problem, Schultz?
46
00:03:02,943 --> 00:03:05,571
Oh, our friend
here wants more
credit, Colonel,
47
00:03:05,612 --> 00:03:07,948
but he's already into us
for quite a bit.
48
00:03:07,948 --> 00:03:09,616
Oh, I see.
49
00:03:09,616 --> 00:03:12,286
Well, Schultz,
you owe us money
50
00:03:12,286 --> 00:03:14,621
and, obviously,
you can't pay.
51
00:03:14,621 --> 00:03:16,290
What are you gonna
do about it?
52
00:03:16,290 --> 00:03:17,291
I'm going
to make a comeback.
53
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:18,417
Don't you worry.
54
00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:20,127
Gambling is
against the rules,
55
00:03:20,169 --> 00:03:21,587
especially
with prisoners.
56
00:03:21,628 --> 00:03:24,173
Now, if Colonel Klink
should find out...
57
00:03:24,214 --> 00:03:25,674
( whistles )
58
00:03:25,716 --> 00:03:28,135
say hello to the gang at
the Russian front, baby.
59
00:03:28,177 --> 00:03:30,637
Oh, Colonel, please
give him a chance.
60
00:03:30,679 --> 00:03:32,973
Yeah, Colonel,
take it easy on him.
61
00:03:33,015 --> 00:03:35,017
He's not a bad sort...
for a goon.
62
00:03:35,058 --> 00:03:36,643
All right.
I'll tell you what.
63
00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:39,313
You can get even
and back into
the game, Schultz.
64
00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:40,898
Tell us who
the civilian was
65
00:03:40,939 --> 00:03:42,858
that they brought
into camp tonight.
66
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:47,863
You want me to give you
a secret for 300 marks?!
67
00:03:47,905 --> 00:03:50,407
He who dances
must pay the fiddler.
68
00:03:50,449 --> 00:03:51,658
Who's dancing?
69
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:52,951
My answer is no.
70
00:03:53,202 --> 00:03:54,453
Oh, Colonel...
71
00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:58,832
I just overheard
those two guards talking.
72
00:03:58,832 --> 00:04:00,918
Guess who that man is
73
00:04:00,959 --> 00:04:02,669
that they brought
in here tonight?
74
00:04:02,711 --> 00:04:04,171
Who?
75
00:04:04,213 --> 00:04:05,506
( whispering )
76
00:04:05,714 --> 00:04:07,174
( laughing )
77
00:04:07,216 --> 00:04:11,011
Who do you think I am,
a Dummkopf or something?
78
00:04:11,053 --> 00:04:12,513
Using that old corny trick.
79
00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:16,016
I'm the only one
that Commandant Klink told
80
00:04:16,058 --> 00:04:19,353
that the man is a captured
French scien...tist.
81
00:04:19,394 --> 00:04:20,854
French scientist,
Schultz?
82
00:04:20,896 --> 00:04:22,356
What's his name?
83
00:04:22,397 --> 00:04:23,565
I say no more.
84
00:04:23,607 --> 00:04:24,858
It slipped out.
85
00:04:24,858 --> 00:04:26,360
I have witnesses.
86
00:04:26,401 --> 00:04:27,861
The Russian
front, baby--
87
00:04:27,903 --> 00:04:30,864
combing your hair
with an ice pick
every morning.
88
00:04:30,864 --> 00:04:32,699
Come on, Schultz,
you're in too deep.
89
00:04:32,699 --> 00:04:34,201
What's his name?
90
00:04:34,201 --> 00:04:35,202
( exhales )
91
00:04:35,244 --> 00:04:36,703
His name is Henry DuBois.
92
00:04:36,703 --> 00:04:38,372
Deal me in.
93
00:04:38,413 --> 00:04:40,207
He was brought here
for some experiments.
94
00:04:40,249 --> 00:04:42,042
Deal me in.
95
00:04:43,418 --> 00:04:44,753
SHULTZ:
Deal me in.
96
00:04:44,795 --> 00:04:46,630
Hit me. Hit me.
97
00:04:46,672 --> 00:04:47,714
Deal me...
98
00:04:47,756 --> 00:04:48,882
Ah!
99
00:04:48,924 --> 00:04:50,884
Ein-und-zwanzing!
100
00:04:50,926 --> 00:04:52,386
Ha, ha, ha!
101
00:04:52,427 --> 00:04:53,303
( laughing )
102
00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:57,850
Hey, here's the answer on DuBois
from London, Colonel.
103
00:04:57,891 --> 00:04:59,518
Okay, Kinch.
104
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,728
"DuBois synthetic
fuel expert.
105
00:05:01,728 --> 00:05:03,689
"Reported collaborating.
106
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,649
"Valuable man.
107
00:05:05,691 --> 00:05:07,484
"Try get him our side.
108
00:05:07,526 --> 00:05:11,655
Failing, eliminate
DuBois and work."
109
00:05:11,697 --> 00:05:13,699
Sounds like
a big job, huh?
110
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,493
Must be. They
went over ten words.
111
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:20,122
May I ask how you found out
that Henry DuBois is here?
112
00:05:20,163 --> 00:05:23,208
Colonel, a POW camp
is like a beauty parlor--
113
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:26,170
gossip, loose talk,
rumors about such things
114
00:05:26,211 --> 00:05:29,423
as who's being transferred
to the Russian front.
115
00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:31,091
They wouldn't dare.
116
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I am needed here.
117
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:33,802
Of course. Of course.
118
00:05:34,052 --> 00:05:35,512
But, just in case,
119
00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:37,931
the boys are knitting
you a beautiful muffler.
120
00:05:37,931 --> 00:05:39,308
And what is this
about LeBeau?
121
00:05:39,349 --> 00:05:40,976
Oh, yeah.
122
00:05:41,018 --> 00:05:43,187
Monsieur DuBois caught sight
of him this morning
123
00:05:43,228 --> 00:05:45,522
and immediately asked him
to work in his laboratory.
124
00:05:45,564 --> 00:05:47,024
But why LeBeau?
125
00:05:47,065 --> 00:05:49,568
You have never heard
of Louis LeBeau?
126
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,486
The man they called
Mr. Test Tube
127
00:05:51,528 --> 00:05:53,447
at the École de Chimie
in Paris?
128
00:05:53,447 --> 00:05:55,282
He's a chemist?
129
00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:57,784
In France, he's known
for the discovery of hemolac.
130
00:05:58,035 --> 00:06:00,662
He... Hemolac?
131
00:06:00,704 --> 00:06:02,289
What is hemolac?
132
00:06:02,289 --> 00:06:04,750
That's a problem for after
the war: What is hemolac?
133
00:06:04,791 --> 00:06:07,336
But he's a cook who
works for the prisoners.
134
00:06:07,377 --> 00:06:09,963
You know what they say
at the universities:
135
00:06:09,963 --> 00:06:12,841
You show me a chemist,
and I'll show you a great chef.
136
00:06:12,883 --> 00:06:15,886
What's the difference whether
you have hydrochloric acid
137
00:06:15,928 --> 00:06:18,138
or a pot roast cooking
on a Bunsen burner?
138
00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:19,848
I can't believe it.
139
00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:21,975
Just think how great
it would be for you
140
00:06:22,017 --> 00:06:23,519
if you got the credit
141
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:27,105
for speeding up
Monsieur DuBois' experiments.
142
00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:28,815
Yes! I can see where
143
00:06:28,815 --> 00:06:32,069
General Burkhalter
would be very pleased.
144
00:06:32,110 --> 00:06:34,071
It's amazing
how far ahead of me
145
00:06:34,112 --> 00:06:35,656
you are at times.
Amazing.
146
00:06:35,697 --> 00:06:37,115
So...
147
00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:42,996
LeBeau refuses to
work for him, eh?
148
00:06:43,038 --> 00:06:44,915
That
little cockroach.
149
00:06:44,957 --> 00:06:47,292
I'll show him who's in command
of Stalag 13. Bring him in!
150
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,714
Monsieur LeBeau, from
the École de Chimie in Paris.
151
00:06:55,175 --> 00:06:56,635
I will not do it.
152
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,178
I will not.
153
00:06:58,178 --> 00:07:00,347
We have ways
of making you obey orders.
154
00:07:00,389 --> 00:07:02,307
I'm only required
to give my name,
155
00:07:02,349 --> 00:07:03,684
rank and serial number.
156
00:07:03,725 --> 00:07:05,686
I am Louis LeBeau,
Corporal,
157
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:10,649
and my serial number
is H-1-2-4-9-7...
158
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,067
H-1-2...
159
00:07:12,109 --> 00:07:13,694
4...
160
00:07:13,735 --> 00:07:15,863
H...
161
00:07:15,904 --> 00:07:18,031
The man who invented hemolac
162
00:07:18,031 --> 00:07:21,201
can't even remember
his own serial number.
163
00:07:21,201 --> 00:07:22,703
They're all that way.
164
00:07:22,744 --> 00:07:25,372
Einstein once
left the house
without his pants.
165
00:07:25,372 --> 00:07:27,207
That means nothing to me.
166
00:07:27,249 --> 00:07:29,042
It meant
something to him.
167
00:07:29,084 --> 00:07:31,712
Corporal LeBeau,
you are hereby ordered
168
00:07:31,753 --> 00:07:35,716
to report to Monsieur DuBois
and assist him as requested.
169
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:36,717
Dismissed.
170
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:45,559
Monsieur DuBois?
171
00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:47,394
Oui.
172
00:07:47,394 --> 00:07:50,189
I am Corporal
Louis LeBeau.
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00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:52,107
I've been ordered
to assist you
174
00:07:52,149 --> 00:07:53,650
in your experiments.
175
00:07:53,692 --> 00:07:55,986
I have no need for an assistant.
176
00:07:56,028 --> 00:07:57,613
I did not ask for one.
177
00:07:57,654 --> 00:07:59,907
This is the order
of the commandant,
178
00:07:59,907 --> 00:08:01,325
Colonel Wilhelm Klink.
179
00:08:01,366 --> 00:08:03,368
Then I have no choice.
180
00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:05,412
Yes, you do have a
choice, Monsieur DuBois.
181
00:08:07,915 --> 00:08:09,333
Cochon!
182
00:08:09,374 --> 00:08:11,251
Your choice is work
for the allies or die!
183
00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:12,961
And I will see to that myself.
184
00:08:13,003 --> 00:08:14,463
Collaborator!
185
00:08:14,505 --> 00:08:16,131
Collaborator?
186
00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:18,050
Yes!
187
00:08:18,091 --> 00:08:20,177
( groans )
188
00:08:20,219 --> 00:08:23,555
Do you think I do this
because I want to?
189
00:08:23,597 --> 00:08:27,309
They are holding my daughter
at the hotel in town.
190
00:08:27,351 --> 00:08:29,686
If I do not do as they say,
191
00:08:29,728 --> 00:08:31,313
who knows
what might happen to her?
192
00:08:31,355 --> 00:08:35,692
You didn't volunteer?
193
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:38,070
I'm loyal
to our country.
194
00:08:38,111 --> 00:08:40,864
My daughter and I were captured
when France fell.
195
00:08:40,906 --> 00:08:43,325
The Germans force me
to work for them.
196
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:45,244
I have been delaying,
197
00:08:45,285 --> 00:08:48,247
making little
useless experiments.
198
00:08:48,288 --> 00:08:51,583
Frankly, I... I don't know
what to make anymore.
199
00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:53,460
I have an idea for you.
200
00:08:53,502 --> 00:08:54,920
Yes?
201
00:08:54,962 --> 00:08:56,630
How about crêpes suzette?
202
00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:58,590
Crêpe su...?
203
00:08:58,632 --> 00:09:00,551
( both laughing )
204
00:09:03,345 --> 00:09:05,180
( sotto voce ):
LeBeau told me
205
00:09:05,222 --> 00:09:08,141
DuBois said he wouldn't leave
without his daughter.
206
00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:12,479
We'll never get her
out of that hotel.
207
00:09:14,523 --> 00:09:18,151
They've got half the German army
guarding the girl.
208
00:09:20,529 --> 00:09:23,740
We'll just have to rescue
the girl.
209
00:09:27,536 --> 00:09:29,329
"We'll just have to rescue
the girl."
210
00:09:29,329 --> 00:09:30,914
Great. But how?
211
00:09:30,956 --> 00:09:34,168
How many men
would be guarding a prisoner
212
00:09:34,168 --> 00:09:36,670
in a place
like the Hausner Hof?
213
00:09:36,712 --> 00:09:39,173
CARTER:
Two or three squads.
214
00:09:40,549 --> 00:09:43,510
Maybe a captain
and even a major.
215
00:09:43,510 --> 00:09:45,345
What difference does it make?
216
00:09:45,345 --> 00:09:47,890
Might as well be a
bleeding general.
217
00:09:50,392 --> 00:09:52,519
Why not a general?
218
00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:54,855
I mean, if a general showed up
at the Hausner Hof
219
00:09:54,897 --> 00:09:57,357
and demanded the girl...
220
00:09:57,357 --> 00:09:59,568
Where are we going to
get somebody like that?
221
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,820
He comes up
with ideas, I..
222
00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,405
You will stand
at attention
223
00:10:03,447 --> 00:10:05,991
when General Von Himmelburger
addresses you!
224
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:07,367
Jawohl, Herr Gener...
225
00:10:07,367 --> 00:10:08,493
( growls )
226
00:10:29,598 --> 00:10:30,891
( groans )
227
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:32,643
Thank you, Putzi.
228
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:38,065
We are the Hausner Hof
Hotel, Herr General.
229
00:10:38,065 --> 00:10:40,234
Danke schon, Putzi.
230
00:10:40,234 --> 00:10:41,944
I hate to read signs
231
00:10:41,985 --> 00:10:44,571
unless
it's absolutely necessary.
232
00:10:45,781 --> 00:10:47,449
Achtung!
233
00:10:47,574 --> 00:10:48,909
NEWKIRK:
Achtung!
234
00:10:48,951 --> 00:10:50,911
Achtung! Achtung!
235
00:10:50,953 --> 00:10:52,412
Schnell, Dummkopf!
236
00:10:52,454 --> 00:10:54,498
Achtung! Achtung!
237
00:11:07,886 --> 00:11:09,221
( bell dings )
238
00:11:09,263 --> 00:11:13,517
This is General Von Himmelburger
of the fuhrer's staff.
239
00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:14,601
Heil Hitler.
240
00:11:14,643 --> 00:11:15,561
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
241
00:11:15,602 --> 00:11:19,231
Depressing.
Depressing.
242
00:11:19,273 --> 00:11:21,024
Putzi, until this moment,
243
00:11:21,066 --> 00:11:23,902
I thought we had a
chance to win the war.
244
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,571
But don't quote me.
245
00:11:25,612 --> 00:11:27,322
SERGEANT:
At your orders,
Herr General.
246
00:11:27,364 --> 00:11:29,700
You are holding
a prisoner here,
247
00:11:29,741 --> 00:11:32,411
a girl named...
248
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:37,374
Marie DuBois,
Herr General.
249
00:11:37,416 --> 00:11:38,500
Heil Hitler.
250
00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:39,918
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
251
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,253
Marie DuBois.
252
00:11:41,295 --> 00:11:44,840
I want her taken outside,
put in my machine at once.
253
00:11:44,882 --> 00:11:46,216
But Herr General...
254
00:11:46,258 --> 00:11:47,843
SERGEANT:
Herr General...
255
00:11:47,885 --> 00:11:49,052
Take this man's name,
256
00:11:49,094 --> 00:11:51,346
have him transferred
to the Russian front.
257
00:11:51,388 --> 00:11:52,306
Jawohl, Herr General.
258
00:11:52,347 --> 00:11:53,682
Heil Hitler.
259
00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:55,184
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
260
00:11:55,225 --> 00:11:58,145
May I be of assistance,
Herr General?
261
00:11:58,187 --> 00:12:01,190
This man is to be
court-martialed and shot!
262
00:12:01,231 --> 00:12:03,525
But, Herr General,
I have not even
greeted you yet.
263
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:04,985
That's why-- you're too slow.
264
00:12:05,027 --> 00:12:06,778
Will you never learn?!
265
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:09,531
General Himmelburger,
may I be of assistance?
266
00:12:09,573 --> 00:12:10,866
You may not!
267
00:12:10,908 --> 00:12:12,951
Take this man's name, Putzi.
268
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,995
Transfer to
the Russian front, sir,
269
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,955
or court-martialed
to be shot?
270
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,499
I don't know. Mix 'em up.
271
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,250
Jawohl, Herr General.
272
00:12:20,292 --> 00:12:21,418
Heil Hitler.
273
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:22,628
ALL:
Heil Hitler.
274
00:12:22,669 --> 00:12:25,422
Sir, I regret, we must
have written authorization
275
00:12:25,464 --> 00:12:26,924
to release the prisoner.
276
00:12:26,965 --> 00:12:29,718
You dare to question
the authority
277
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,553
of General Von, Von, Von....
278
00:12:31,845 --> 00:12:32,763
Himmelburger.
279
00:12:32,804 --> 00:12:34,056
Himmelburger?
280
00:12:34,097 --> 00:12:37,684
This man will be
court-martialed, shot
281
00:12:37,726 --> 00:12:39,645
and sent to the
Russian front!
282
00:12:39,686 --> 00:12:41,897
Now, listen to me, all of you.
283
00:12:44,525 --> 00:12:46,276
My patience is at an end.
284
00:12:50,989 --> 00:12:53,116
I want this girl brought down
and put in my machine.
285
00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:55,994
In five minutes.
286
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:57,204
( glass shattering )
287
00:12:57,204 --> 00:12:58,372
Repeat, five minutes.
288
00:12:58,372 --> 00:12:59,581
( glass shattering )
289
00:12:59,623 --> 00:13:01,291
HOGAN:
If you do not
follow my orders
290
00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:02,292
( glass breaking )
291
00:13:02,334 --> 00:13:03,252
within that time,
292
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,128
you will all be transferred
293
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:06,630
to the Russian front.
294
00:13:06,672 --> 00:13:08,799
Including the hotel itself.
295
00:13:10,884 --> 00:13:12,135
( bellows )
296
00:13:12,177 --> 00:13:14,096
Do you hear me?!
297
00:13:15,305 --> 00:13:16,598
Aah!
298
00:13:21,228 --> 00:13:22,229
Yaah!
299
00:13:37,661 --> 00:13:39,538
He means it.
300
00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:40,747
I know him.
301
00:13:50,465 --> 00:13:52,509
What do we do if they don't
bring the girl out?
302
00:13:52,551 --> 00:13:54,678
We go to the
Russian front.
303
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,013
Wish they'd hurry up, then.
304
00:13:56,054 --> 00:13:58,932
Got to get the motorcycle
back to the pool.
305
00:13:58,932 --> 00:13:59,933
Watch it.
306
00:13:59,933 --> 00:14:00,601
( clears throat )
307
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:03,270
Where are you taking me?
308
00:14:03,312 --> 00:14:04,438
Silence.
309
00:14:04,479 --> 00:14:05,772
The girl,
Herr General.
310
00:14:05,814 --> 00:14:07,441
Very good.
311
00:14:07,482 --> 00:14:09,568
You made it with 40
seconds to spare.
312
00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:11,236
General.
313
00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:14,114
Uh-huh. Ah...
314
00:14:14,156 --> 00:14:16,450
Danke, Putzi.
315
00:14:16,491 --> 00:14:18,076
The girl.
316
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,369
Fraulein?
317
00:14:22,956 --> 00:14:24,917
I wish to question the girl,
318
00:14:24,958 --> 00:14:27,294
and we may as well
be comfortable.
319
00:14:27,294 --> 00:14:28,086
HOGAN:
Heil Hitler.
320
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:28,962
Heil Hitler.Heil Hitler.
321
00:14:47,981 --> 00:14:49,316
They change the dogs
322
00:14:49,316 --> 00:14:51,735
so they won't get too friendly
with the prisoners.
323
00:14:51,777 --> 00:14:53,403
( barking quietly )
324
00:14:58,617 --> 00:15:00,160
Are they dangerous?
325
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,620
Oh, only to the Germans.
326
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:02,830
Au revoir.
327
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:03,372
Au revoir.
328
00:15:05,499 --> 00:15:06,500
Merci, huh?
329
00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:09,378
Merci beaucoup.
330
00:15:09,419 --> 00:15:11,213
Enough already.
331
00:15:11,505 --> 00:15:12,172
Au revoir.
332
00:15:27,354 --> 00:15:29,231
Papa!
333
00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:30,315
Marie.
334
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:33,068
Oh...
Marie...
335
00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:34,486
Pardon me?
336
00:15:34,528 --> 00:15:35,612
We've only
got 24 hours
337
00:15:35,654 --> 00:15:37,656
to make contact with
that British sub.
338
00:15:37,781 --> 00:15:39,032
We got to
get cracking.
339
00:15:39,074 --> 00:15:40,325
Cracking?
340
00:15:40,367 --> 00:15:42,911
Uh, follow me, uh,
s'il vous plaît.
341
00:15:42,953 --> 00:15:45,372
Oui. Allez,Marie, allez.
342
00:15:45,414 --> 00:15:46,874
OFFICER:
Mama Bear to Goldilocks.
343
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,542
Mama Bear to Goldilocks.
344
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:49,918
Confirming.
345
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,671
Will pick up two packages--
one large, one small--
346
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:55,799
at point Y-14 in 24 hours.
347
00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:58,010
Over and out.
348
00:15:58,051 --> 00:15:59,178
Escaped?!
349
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,554
DuBois escaped?!
350
00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:02,181
Yes, sir.
LeBeau went to
his laboratory
351
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:04,099
a couple of
minutes ago, and
DuBois was gone.
352
00:16:04,141 --> 00:16:05,559
I hate to get you
out of bed, sir.
353
00:16:05,601 --> 00:16:06,852
Gee, this is a
beautiful robe.
354
00:16:06,894 --> 00:16:08,187
Oh, danke.
355
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,313
This is impossible.
356
00:16:09,354 --> 00:16:10,564
No one escapes
from Stalag 13.
357
00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:11,773
Yeah, looks like
358
00:16:11,815 --> 00:16:13,525
you got a first
on your hands, sir.
359
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,277
You know something
about this, cockroach?
360
00:16:15,319 --> 00:16:16,737
Oh, come on. If
he helped DuBois
361
00:16:16,778 --> 00:16:18,572
to escape, would he
tell you anything?
362
00:16:18,614 --> 00:16:19,740
Perhaps not.
363
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:21,658
Oh, this is terrible, terrible.
364
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:23,118
I know how you
must feel, sir.
365
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,661
No, you don't.
366
00:16:26,121 --> 00:16:27,706
KLINK:
I have been
informed by Berlin
367
00:16:27,748 --> 00:16:29,666
that a Professor
Altman is coming
here tomorrow
368
00:16:29,708 --> 00:16:30,667
to meet
with DuBois
369
00:16:30,709 --> 00:16:31,919
and check on
the experiments!
370
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,087
There is no DuBois,
and they will hold me
371
00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:35,881
personally
responsible
for this.
372
00:16:35,923 --> 00:16:38,509
Yes, sir, they can be mean
when they want to.
373
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:40,511
I must find DuBois at once.
374
00:16:40,552 --> 00:16:42,596
Now, we will search
this countryside
375
00:16:42,763 --> 00:16:44,723
inch by inch tonight.
376
00:16:44,765 --> 00:16:45,891
We need 24 hours.
377
00:16:45,933 --> 00:16:47,142
KLINK:
What?!
378
00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:49,144
He means we'll be glad
to join in the search,
379
00:16:49,186 --> 00:16:51,730
but we'll never find DuBois
in time to meet Altman.
380
00:16:51,772 --> 00:16:53,148
Hmm... in that case,
381
00:16:53,190 --> 00:16:54,733
I am finished.
382
00:16:54,775 --> 00:16:56,610
I have a suggestion,
Colonel.
383
00:16:58,362 --> 00:17:00,447
We have to stall
for time, right?
384
00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:04,076
Now, Altman has never
met DuBois.
385
00:17:04,117 --> 00:17:06,620
Why not have LeBeau
stand in for him?
386
00:17:11,416 --> 00:17:13,168
Can you do it, cockroach?
387
00:17:13,210 --> 00:17:14,586
Well, he's been
working with him.
388
00:17:14,628 --> 00:17:15,838
He knows all
the experiments.
389
00:17:15,879 --> 00:17:18,423
I do? Oh, yes, sir, I do.
390
00:17:18,465 --> 00:17:20,133
All right,
I have no other choice.
391
00:17:20,175 --> 00:17:21,343
But if anything goes wrong,
392
00:17:21,385 --> 00:17:23,595
I will hold you personally
responsible,
393
00:17:23,637 --> 00:17:24,972
and you will take
the consequences.
394
00:17:25,013 --> 00:17:26,223
Yes, sir.
395
00:17:26,265 --> 00:17:27,599
You heard him.
396
00:17:27,641 --> 00:17:29,476
He's going to hold me
personally responsible,
397
00:17:29,518 --> 00:17:30,769
and if anything
goes wrong...
398
00:17:30,811 --> 00:17:32,229
I will take the consequences.
399
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,817
HOGAN:
Didn't you learn
anything from DuBois?
400
00:17:36,817 --> 00:17:40,988
Well, most of the time,
we just made crêpes suzettes.
401
00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:42,447
We've got to stall long enough
402
00:17:42,489 --> 00:17:44,783
for DuBois and the girl
to get started for England.
403
00:17:44,825 --> 00:17:47,161
Carter, you know chemistry.
404
00:17:47,202 --> 00:17:48,453
I know what?
405
00:17:48,495 --> 00:17:49,663
Well, you ran
a chemist shop.
406
00:17:49,663 --> 00:17:50,831
Well, I ran a drugstore.
407
00:17:50,831 --> 00:17:52,166
I ran a drugstore
in Muncie, Indiana.
408
00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:53,667
All right.
409
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:55,419
I want you to teach
LeBeau some chemistry
410
00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:56,503
by 9:00
tomorrow morning.
411
00:17:56,545 --> 00:17:57,754
Some words and
phrases and stuff.
412
00:17:57,796 --> 00:17:58,922
I can't.
413
00:17:58,964 --> 00:18:00,382
Look, you're wasting
time, Carter.
414
00:18:00,424 --> 00:18:01,842
We got about six-
and-a-half hours,
415
00:18:01,842 --> 00:18:02,968
and a lot
depends on this.
416
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,386
I can't teach him any chemistry.
417
00:18:04,428 --> 00:18:05,679
Why not?
418
00:18:05,679 --> 00:18:07,764
Look, Colonel,
I ran a drugstore.
419
00:18:07,806 --> 00:18:11,310
You know, like candy,
uh, cigarettes, cosmetics,
420
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,520
liquor, beach chairs...
421
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,023
You know, a drugstore.
422
00:18:16,064 --> 00:18:18,025
Wait a minute, I got this.
423
00:18:18,025 --> 00:18:20,194
Maybe he can look through this
and find something.
424
00:18:20,194 --> 00:18:22,237
Handbook of Pharmacy, huh?
425
00:18:22,279 --> 00:18:24,072
Yeah, I've been carrying it
for two years.
426
00:18:24,114 --> 00:18:25,908
I'm going to take the exam
when I get home.
427
00:18:25,949 --> 00:18:27,701
Oh, swell.
428
00:18:27,743 --> 00:18:29,453
Start reading.
429
00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:35,626
Professor DuBois,
430
00:18:35,667 --> 00:18:37,044
I have the honor to present
431
00:18:37,085 --> 00:18:40,088
Professor
Altman and
Captain Krug.
432
00:18:41,048 --> 00:18:42,257
Professor DuBois,
433
00:18:42,299 --> 00:18:44,009
I have heard a great
deal about you.
434
00:18:44,051 --> 00:18:47,137
I trust your experiments
justify your reputation.
435
00:18:47,179 --> 00:18:49,556
So do I.
436
00:18:49,556 --> 00:18:51,725
Berlin is expecting progress.
437
00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:55,103
It would be unfortunate
if they are disappointed.
438
00:18:55,145 --> 00:18:56,563
( weak chuckle )
439
00:18:56,605 --> 00:18:59,566
Well, I shall leave you two
great friends together.
440
00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:00,776
( chuckling )
441
00:19:00,817 --> 00:19:01,693
Good luck.
442
00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:09,535
Uh, sit down,
gentlemen, please.
443
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,623
Now, uh, before
we begin,
444
00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:16,500
I-I would like
you to meet
my assistant.
445
00:19:16,542 --> 00:19:17,793
This is my
assistant,
446
00:19:17,835 --> 00:19:19,002
Monsieur LeBeau.
447
00:19:19,044 --> 00:19:20,504
Bonjour.
448
00:19:20,546 --> 00:19:22,214
We have a saying in France.
449
00:19:22,256 --> 00:19:24,675
A little refreshment
makes the job easier.
450
00:19:24,716 --> 00:19:27,594
It's only a saying.
451
00:19:27,594 --> 00:19:28,762
A votre santé.
452
00:19:28,762 --> 00:19:29,930
Prosit.
453
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,056
Prosit.
454
00:19:32,891 --> 00:19:35,060
Now, as you
know, gentlemen,
455
00:19:35,102 --> 00:19:36,520
the problem
has been
456
00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:39,314
to produce a workable
synthetic fuel.
457
00:19:39,356 --> 00:19:40,440
( chuckles )
458
00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:41,608
That's a problem
459
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:44,611
that has been
stopping us
for years.
460
00:19:44,653 --> 00:19:47,447
In preparing,
uh, an emulsion,
461
00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:49,616
uh, careful measurement
462
00:19:49,658 --> 00:19:52,536
of quantities used
is most important.
463
00:19:52,578 --> 00:19:54,830
An emulsion?
464
00:19:54,872 --> 00:19:56,748
An emulsion!
465
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,793
Oh, we have never approached
the problem from that angle.
466
00:19:59,835 --> 00:20:03,213
ALTMAN:
Brilliant conception,
and so simple.
467
00:20:03,255 --> 00:20:04,464
Merci.
468
00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:06,800
Tell me, Professor,
did you use positive
469
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,136
or negative ions
in the processing?
470
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:11,346
What a question.
471
00:20:11,388 --> 00:20:12,890
Forgive me,
Professor,
472
00:20:12,931 --> 00:20:15,809
but don't they
teach you fellows
anything in Berlin?
473
00:20:15,851 --> 00:20:18,812
I beg your pardon,
Professor DuBois.
474
00:20:18,812 --> 00:20:21,231
Obviously, he's
way ahead of us.
475
00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:22,649
As I was saying,
476
00:20:22,649 --> 00:20:24,526
in preparing
an emulsion,
477
00:20:24,568 --> 00:20:26,445
the steps are
as follows.
478
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,697
Number one: Select components
479
00:20:28,739 --> 00:20:32,159
as listed by doctor
in prescription?
480
00:20:32,159 --> 00:20:33,327
Doctor?
481
00:20:33,368 --> 00:20:34,703
Prescription?
482
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:36,997
Uh, oh, I am also an M.D.,
483
00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:39,166
and it's easier for me
to think in those terms.
484
00:20:41,126 --> 00:20:42,544
Number two:
485
00:20:42,586 --> 00:20:44,630
After selecting
components,
486
00:20:44,671 --> 00:20:47,049
make accurate
measurements.
487
00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:49,510
Number three: Select
488
00:20:49,551 --> 00:20:52,846
vessel in which mixing process
will be made.
489
00:20:55,015 --> 00:20:58,602
And number four: Uh...
490
00:20:58,644 --> 00:21:00,562
wash hands before beginning.
491
00:21:03,273 --> 00:21:04,399
( faucet running )
492
00:21:04,441 --> 00:21:05,651
The good ones--
493
00:21:05,692 --> 00:21:08,237
they are always
so sanitary.
494
00:21:08,278 --> 00:21:09,530
Ja, ja, ja.
495
00:21:09,530 --> 00:21:12,074
Goldilocks to Mama Bear,
Goldilocks to Mama Bear.
496
00:21:12,115 --> 00:21:13,784
Advise without delay
497
00:21:13,826 --> 00:21:15,661
when two packages
are picked up.
498
00:21:15,702 --> 00:21:17,913
But only, do-do
you mean to tell me
499
00:21:17,955 --> 00:21:19,623
that you have
actually been able
500
00:21:19,665 --> 00:21:21,917
to mix these
two substances?
501
00:21:21,959 --> 00:21:24,002
That's right, Hans.
502
00:21:24,044 --> 00:21:27,756
Cynogenic acid
and Palmer's alkali.
503
00:21:27,798 --> 00:21:29,758
Wunderbar.
504
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,051
But my dear boy,
505
00:21:31,093 --> 00:21:32,594
I-I find it
difficult to believe
506
00:21:32,636 --> 00:21:34,721
that these two could
act as a catalyst.
507
00:21:34,721 --> 00:21:37,140
Oh, not only
as a catalyst, but...
508
00:21:38,475 --> 00:21:42,312
the mixture also relieves
nasal congestion?
509
00:21:42,354 --> 00:21:44,398
Wunderbar!
510
00:21:44,398 --> 00:21:46,984
It's a ruddy miracle.
511
00:21:48,026 --> 00:21:50,070
Ja, ja, ja, ja.
512
00:21:50,112 --> 00:21:52,531
OFFICER:
Mama Bear to Goldilocks,
Mama Bear to Goldilocks.
513
00:21:52,573 --> 00:21:54,324
Have picked up two packages--
514
00:21:54,366 --> 00:21:56,118
one large, one small--
as arranged.
515
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,035
Will now proceed to post office.
516
00:21:57,077 --> 00:21:58,620
Over and out.
517
00:21:58,662 --> 00:21:59,746
That's it.
518
00:21:59,746 --> 00:22:01,248
They've picked up DuBois
and his daughter.
519
00:22:01,248 --> 00:22:02,082
Carter, get going.
Right.
520
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,085
Frankly, mon ami,
521
00:22:05,085 --> 00:22:07,671
I-I was a little worried
about the catalytic factor,
522
00:22:07,713 --> 00:22:09,506
but... you say it works.
523
00:22:09,548 --> 00:22:10,883
Yes, Liebchen,
524
00:22:10,924 --> 00:22:14,720
and also breaks up
nasal congestion.
525
00:22:14,761 --> 00:22:18,307
Ah, he is ein genius.
526
00:22:18,348 --> 00:22:22,477
Oh, you've saved us hundreds
of hours of testing.
527
00:22:22,519 --> 00:22:23,979
I think.
528
00:22:24,021 --> 00:22:25,898
Professor DuBois...
529
00:22:25,939 --> 00:22:27,608
How dare you enter
this laboratory!
530
00:22:27,608 --> 00:22:29,484
Don't you know we have
a conference going on?!
531
00:22:29,526 --> 00:22:30,777
I'm sorry, sir.
532
00:22:30,777 --> 00:22:32,279
I, uh, just wanted
to let you know
533
00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:34,823
that two packages
have arrived safely.
534
00:22:34,865 --> 00:22:36,617
And not a minute too soon.
535
00:22:36,617 --> 00:22:37,993
New chemicals
we ordered.
536
00:22:38,035 --> 00:22:39,203
Oh, yeah.
537
00:22:39,244 --> 00:22:40,496
Uh, we must no longer
keep you
538
00:22:40,537 --> 00:22:41,371
from your experiments.
539
00:22:41,413 --> 00:22:42,623
Uh, Captain,
540
00:22:42,623 --> 00:22:43,916
we are going.
541
00:22:43,957 --> 00:22:45,125
Ja, ja, ja, ja.
542
00:22:45,167 --> 00:22:46,710
Oh, thank you.
Ja, ja.
543
00:22:46,752 --> 00:22:48,921
Danke schon, Herr Professor,
and I can see
544
00:22:48,962 --> 00:22:51,423
that everything here
is going nicely.
545
00:22:51,465 --> 00:22:53,717
Uh, indeed, it is.
546
00:22:53,759 --> 00:22:54,885
And we'll be
back tomorrow
547
00:22:54,927 --> 00:22:56,011
for some more
refreshments.
548
00:22:56,053 --> 00:22:58,263
Ah! I mean,
information.
549
00:22:58,305 --> 00:22:59,515
And you can
demonstrate
550
00:22:59,556 --> 00:23:01,183
for us your new
process, huh?
551
00:23:01,225 --> 00:23:02,726
Ja? Ja.
552
00:23:02,768 --> 00:23:03,644
Auf Wiedersehen.
553
00:23:03,644 --> 00:23:04,978
Wiedersehen.
554
00:23:05,145 --> 00:23:06,647
Auf Wiedersehen.
555
00:23:06,647 --> 00:23:07,981
ALTMAN:
Auf Wiedersehen.
556
00:23:08,023 --> 00:23:09,399
You brought it off!
557
00:23:09,441 --> 00:23:10,776
You were smashing!
558
00:23:10,817 --> 00:23:12,778
And that's how
you feel, huh?
559
00:23:12,819 --> 00:23:14,446
( laughs )
Oh...
560
00:23:14,488 --> 00:23:16,114
ALTMAN:
Uh, Professor DuBois,
561
00:23:16,156 --> 00:23:17,616
one more thing.
562
00:23:17,658 --> 00:23:18,951
A favor.
563
00:23:18,992 --> 00:23:21,119
If you have any more
of that emulsion left,
564
00:23:21,161 --> 00:23:23,497
would you be so kind
as to save it for me?
565
00:23:23,539 --> 00:23:24,790
Yes, but...
566
00:23:24,832 --> 00:23:27,084
I have a little
nasal congestion.
567
00:23:27,125 --> 00:23:28,126
( sniffles )
568
00:23:28,168 --> 00:23:29,336
Auf Wiedersehen.
569
00:23:29,336 --> 00:23:30,546
LeBEAU:
Auf Wiedersehen.
570
00:23:30,587 --> 00:23:31,839
NEWKIRK:
Auf Wiedersehen.
571
00:23:31,839 --> 00:23:33,799
You know something?
572
00:23:33,841 --> 00:23:35,050
It's a crazy war.
573
00:23:48,021 --> 00:23:49,356
All right, all right.
574
00:23:49,398 --> 00:23:50,858
We got away with
it, as you say,
575
00:23:50,858 --> 00:23:52,526
but I still haven't
found DuBois,
576
00:23:52,526 --> 00:23:53,944
and Altman will
be here tomorrow
577
00:23:53,986 --> 00:23:56,238
for another inspection
and a demonstration.
578
00:24:06,123 --> 00:24:07,666
Colonel, you worry too much.
579
00:24:07,708 --> 00:24:09,042
I worry?
580
00:24:09,042 --> 00:24:10,210
Your life is easy.
581
00:24:10,210 --> 00:24:11,503
You're only a
prisoner of war.
582
00:24:11,545 --> 00:24:13,630
No problem whatsoever.
583
00:24:13,672 --> 00:24:15,340
As Professor DuBois was killed
584
00:24:15,382 --> 00:24:17,843
in an explosion
in his laboratory.
585
00:24:17,885 --> 00:24:19,845
Well, in that
case, you are...
586
00:24:19,887 --> 00:24:21,889
Killed in his
laboratory? When?
587
00:24:21,889 --> 00:24:24,391
Five, four,
588
00:24:24,391 --> 00:24:26,977
three, two, one.
589
00:24:27,019 --> 00:24:29,062
( loud explosion )
590
00:24:31,732 --> 00:24:33,400
Any questions?
37558
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