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1
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♪ ♪
2
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,187
I'm whipping you so hard.
3
00:00:22,339 --> 00:00:23,505
Turn into cream!
4
00:00:23,673 --> 00:00:26,099
- Get a room, you two.
- We did get a room, Gene.
5
00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:27,342
It's called the kitchen.
6
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,253
I'm making whipped
cream for your mom
7
00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:30,587
for her Mother's Day waffles,
8
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,439
which you kids are supposed
to be helping me with.
9
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,424
Sorry, Dad. We
have our hands full.
10
00:00:34,593 --> 00:00:35,517
Tina had to make a card,
11
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,277
we had to tell her
to make the card.
12
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,871
- Tina, let's see it.
- Read it and weep.
13
00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:40,522
Or lightly chuckle
because it's pretty funny.
14
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,690
It's a drawing of
a mushroom cloud
15
00:00:42,785 --> 00:00:44,601
and all of us flying
through the air, and it says,
16
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,378
- "You dropped a mom on us"?
- Pretty good, right?
17
00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:49,456
Yeah, but you made this
exact same card two years ago.
18
00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:50,883
Damn it, I knew
it felt familiar.
19
00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:52,718
We got to think of
something else, and quick.
20
00:00:52,869 --> 00:00:54,294
- Think of what?
- Uh...
21
00:00:54,446 --> 00:00:55,554
Happy Mother's Day!
22
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:58,039
- Aw, thanks.
- Ugh. Happy Mother's Day, Lin.
23
00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,575
Wow, you're sweaty.
24
00:00:59,577 --> 00:01:00,784
What's in the box?
25
00:01:00,953 --> 00:01:02,227
Is it a tiny little
David Blaine?
26
00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:03,637
Eh, I was thinking
about my mother.
27
00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:05,672
And then I started to think
about my grandmother,
28
00:01:05,824 --> 00:01:08,216
and I wanted to find a
picture of her, and I found this.
29
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:09,717
A box full of old family stuff.
30
00:01:09,812 --> 00:01:12,554
"Old family stuff." Those
are three exciting words.
31
00:01:12,648 --> 00:01:13,997
I wanted to look through it
32
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,557
while we have
Mother's Day breakfast.
33
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,802
Aw, here she is. My
sweet Grandma Claudia.
34
00:01:18,821 --> 00:01:21,955
Oh, I just loved her so
much. Ooh, family tree.
35
00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:23,490
Let's see what we have here.
36
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,400
- Any celebrities or criminals?
- Portia de Rossi?
37
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,586
Oh, that says "Peter DeRosa."
38
00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:29,479
Still though, pretty cool.
39
00:01:29,498 --> 00:01:31,406
Wait, why is this
whole section crossed out?
40
00:01:31,483 --> 00:01:33,150
Oh, that's because of the feud.
41
00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:35,410
Wha-Wha-What? A feud?
42
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,579
Something interesting
happened in our family?
43
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,674
I think you're forgetting about
Dad's uncle with huge feet.
44
00:01:40,843 --> 00:01:42,434
Oh, yeah, Uncle
Frank. Good swimmer.
45
00:01:42,620 --> 00:01:44,436
Well, it's kind of a long
story, but I'll tell you.
46
00:01:44,663 --> 00:01:46,847
This thing started
way before I was born.
47
00:01:46,999 --> 00:01:48,498
My great-grandma
Maria had four kids,
48
00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:50,091
and they didn't
have a lot of money.
49
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:51,610
One of them, Tony,worked down at the docks.
50
00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:53,261
And he was tryingto save up to buy
51
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:54,929
his dream housein Staten Island.
52
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:57,007
I think Billy Joelwrote a song about that.
53
00:01:57,025 --> 00:01:59,693
But Joey, the baby of
the family, married a rich girl.
54
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,603
I think her fatherinvented the raincoat.
55
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:02,979
- Probably not.
- Shush!
56
00:02:02,981 --> 00:02:05,365
And then Joeyand
his new rich wife
57
00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:08,127
bought Tony's dream
housebefore Tony could!
58
00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:10,278
- Damn.
- So, is that why someone crossed
59
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,113
all of Joey's family
out on the family tree?
60
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,298
No. There's more.
61
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,025
You see, Joey
invited the family over
62
00:02:15,118 --> 00:02:16,193
to his new house for dinner.
63
00:02:16,286 --> 00:02:18,303
And my great-grandmother Maria
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00:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,380
brought over her
famous Bolognese sauce.
65
00:02:20,532 --> 00:02:21,789
Say
more about the sauce.
66
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,309
- It was delicious, Gene.
- I knew it.
67
00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:25,869
And
then it happened.
68
00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:27,587
I didn't say what it was yet.
69
00:02:27,723 --> 00:02:28,814
Sorry, it's just tense.
70
00:02:29,041 --> 00:02:30,390
So, they're
eating dinner,
71
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,317
and Joey isjust
laughing and laughing
72
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,710
about how greathis new house is.
73
00:02:33,729 --> 00:02:36,062
But as he reachesfor
the Parmesan cheese,
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00:02:36,215 --> 00:02:38,640
Tony goes in with his
forkto get more pasta
75
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:41,735
and accidentally
stabs Joeyin the hand!
76
00:02:41,887 --> 00:02:43,403
Yes! He forked him!
77
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,238
Joey and his sister Paulina
78
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,981
thought Tony forked
himon purpose
79
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,909
because Joey boughtTony's dream house
80
00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:50,577
with Daniela'sstupid
raincoat money.
81
00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:53,063
- It-it couldn't have been raincoat.
- It was.
82
00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:54,656
But Tony sworethat
it was an accident,
83
00:02:54,824 --> 00:02:57,342
and his sister Claudia,
my sweet little grandmother,
84
00:02:57,419 --> 00:02:58,493
believed him.
85
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,512
Joey throws Tonyout of the house.
86
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:02,906
Claudia and her husband Burt,
my grandfather, go with him.
87
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:05,166
And here's the
kicker:it's pouring rain.
88
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,426
None of them have raincoats.
89
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,835
They all get wet.
90
00:03:07,930 --> 00:03:09,262
From that moment on,
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00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,005
you were either Team
Tony or Team Joey.
92
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:12,357
So we're on team...?
93
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:13,859
Tony. All the way.
94
00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:15,510
And Tony's the one who...?
95
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,604
Accidentally forked
that jerk Joey.
96
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:19,031
You never met any Team Joeys
97
00:03:19,258 --> 00:03:20,848
'cause we stopped talking
to them, 'cause they're dumb.
98
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,426
And you want to
know the worst part?
99
00:03:22,444 --> 00:03:23,944
Then the Great
Depression happened?
100
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:27,039
No. After my lovely
great-grandmother Maria passed,
101
00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,616
dumb Joey, his wife
Daniela and their idiot kid
102
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,211
went over to her house,
went through all her stuff
103
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:34,195
and stole the only
written-down copy
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00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:36,790
of Grandma Maria's
famous Bolognese recipe.
105
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,199
They did what?!
106
00:03:38,277 --> 00:03:39,701
My Grandma Claudia
knew how to make it,
107
00:03:39,869 --> 00:03:41,202
and she used to make it for me,
108
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,721
and it was delicious,
but she died,
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00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:45,373
and so now I can only taste
the sauce in my memories.
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00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,892
- In your mammaries?
- Gene.
111
00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:48,285
So now the only people who know
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00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,044
how to make it are
those cold-hearted,
113
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,563
house-stealing Team Joey people.
114
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:54,733
Who wants waffles
with homemade whipped cream?
115
00:03:54,884 --> 00:03:57,736
- I do.
- I mean, sort of whipped.
116
00:03:57,887 --> 00:04:00,130
It's really hard to
do. My wrist hurts.
117
00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:01,481
- Anyway, here you go.
- Oh.
118
00:04:01,633 --> 00:04:03,467
Ew. Did you just pour
milk on her waffles?
119
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,968
Damn it. The kids
didn't help at all.
120
00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:07,412
Because we're, uh, doing
our own thing for Mom.
121
00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:09,248
- We're giving it to her later.
- We are?
122
00:04:09,399 --> 00:04:11,324
Yes. And it's
really, really great.
123
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,418
- Wait, did I miss a meeting?
- Ignore Tina.
124
00:04:13,645 --> 00:04:16,329
Why don't we focus on
Dad's wet milk waffles for now.
125
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,981
I'll make you new ones.
126
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,500
- Gene will eat those.
- Yay! Floppy waffles.
127
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,244
Floppy, floppy, floppy,
floppy.
128
00:04:23,338 --> 00:04:25,655
So, Teddy, what'd you get
your mom for Mother's Day?
129
00:04:25,674 --> 00:04:27,766
Well, you know how
she's pretty tatted up?
130
00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:29,175
What? No.
131
00:04:29,328 --> 00:04:30,936
Yeah, well, she's got
a tattoo that she hates,
132
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:34,331
so I booked her an appointment
at a laser tattoo removal place.
133
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,181
Okay.
134
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,516
But it's kind of expensive.
135
00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:38,835
- How expensive?
- Well, it's $500 a visit,
136
00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:40,353
and it can take
a bunch of visits.
137
00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:41,688
Which I wasn't totally aware of
138
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,523
when I was signing her
up for the first lasering.
139
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,450
- That's a lot of money.
- I know.
140
00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:47,619
- But she really wants it gone.
- Why?
141
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:49,513
- What-What's it a tattoo of?
- Uh, I'll show you.
142
00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:51,957
Here, check a look. It's
on her upper, upper thigh.
143
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:53,941
Oh. Gr-Great.
144
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,610
So, it's a tattoo of a
bunch of playing cards?
145
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,370
It's a gin rummy thing.
She was in a group,
146
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,205
and I guess they all
got the same tattoo.
147
00:04:59,282 --> 00:05:01,133
Aw, gin rummy chummies.
148
00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:02,692
Well, not anymore.
149
00:05:02,711 --> 00:05:05,119
My mom plays with,
let's say, a lot of flare.
150
00:05:05,213 --> 00:05:06,805
And by "flare," I mean rage.
151
00:05:07,032 --> 00:05:08,365
Your mom sounds intense.
152
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:10,475
- She's passionate, Bob.
- Wait, I have an idea.
153
00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:12,702
Maybe she doesn't
have to remove her tattoo.
154
00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:14,646
Why doesn't she just add
to what's already there?
155
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:17,316
Make it into something
else? I bet that's cheaper.
156
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:19,634
- I mean, probably?
- Hey, we should brainstorm.
157
00:05:19,711 --> 00:05:22,637
- Ooh, we can use the chalkboard.
- Oh, uh-- Heh.
158
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,639
That's where I put the
Burger of the Day that I wrote,
159
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,475
carefully, so people
know what it is.
160
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,735
And you erased it.
161
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,570
This is just for a
minute. I'll remember it.
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00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,390
- It was a something-something burger.
- Yup.
163
00:05:33,392 --> 00:05:35,058
So, what are
we getting for Mom?
164
00:05:35,151 --> 00:05:36,501
A different card from Tina?
165
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,078
Oh, okay. Lot of pressure.
166
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,488
Wait. O-mama bin Lovin'?
167
00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:41,322
That's been done.
168
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,990
No. What we're gonna do is
169
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:45,344
get that old family sauce recipe
and we're gonna cook it for Mom
170
00:05:45,571 --> 00:05:48,213
and give her the greatest
Mother's Day dinner of all time.
171
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,681
You had me at "sauce."
172
00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,165
Where are we
gonna get the recipe?
173
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,243
I found out where
Lorraine lives.
174
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,336
- Who's Lorraine?
- Joey's daughter.
175
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,171
Got it. Who's Joey again?
176
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,857
He's Great-Grandma
Claudia's brother.
177
00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,083
Just look at this.
178
00:06:00,102 --> 00:06:01,843
Mom said Joey took the recipe.
179
00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:04,254
Since he's passed
on, smart money is that
180
00:06:04,272 --> 00:06:06,272
his only daughter,
Lorraine, has it now.
181
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,274
Guess what. She
lives in Bottom Hook,
182
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,684
which is only eight miles away.
183
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,352
Yes. Louise, this
is such a good idea.
184
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,113
- I know.
- Wait, how are we gonna get there?
185
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:14,206
No clue.
186
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:15,207
You kids help out
around here, right?
187
00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:16,691
I-I'm just checking because
188
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:19,360
sometimes it feels like
you don't help out at all.
189
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,529
- We're taking a hiatus.
- Dad, just shush.
190
00:06:21,623 --> 00:06:23,715
We think we found where
the sauce recipe might be.
191
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,943
It's only eight miles away at
Mom's cousin Lorraine's house.
192
00:06:26,962 --> 00:06:28,202
Go get your car keys.
193
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,963
Oh, that's actually
a really sweet idea,
194
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,448
but we can't leave
your mom alone
195
00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,408
in the restaurant
on Mother's Day.
196
00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:35,376
- Boo.
- Don't boo me.
197
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:38,638
Look, maybe you guys can
save this idea for next year.
198
00:06:38,790 --> 00:06:40,640
- Boo.
- Stop booing me.
199
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,642
What if we get another ride?
200
00:06:42,794 --> 00:06:43,810
Do you know someone with a car?
201
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,311
And don't say Ken
because he's not real.
202
00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:47,297
He is real and he's
a very good driver,
203
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:48,798
but he's getting his
Jeep lowered today.
204
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:51,576
I think I might know
someone who could take us.
205
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,745
Is it someone we know and trust?
206
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,247
It's someone we know.
207
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:57,323
So I got my license
un-suspended,
208
00:06:57,476 --> 00:06:59,659
then they said I needed
to take the eye test again,
209
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,236
but I was like, "Nah,
this prescription is fine."
210
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,571
Oh!
211
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:05,382
Sorry. This road is so curvy.
212
00:07:08,411 --> 00:07:10,837
Ugh, I can't believe
we're actually going
213
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,597
to that punk Lorraine
Parcone's house.
214
00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:15,600
And possibly to a soft serve
drive-through on the way? Eh?
215
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:17,494
Aunt Gayle, you and
Mom still get pretty frothy
216
00:07:17,512 --> 00:07:19,938
about the whole
forking thing, huh?
217
00:07:20,165 --> 00:07:21,331
It started with the forking.
218
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:23,333
Then there was the
recipe theft, of course,
219
00:07:23,351 --> 00:07:24,943
but the bad blood's
been passed down
220
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:26,594
from generation to generation.
221
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,263
- You know about the wedding incident?
- No.
222
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,265
It was my mother
and father's wedding--
223
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,452
your grandparents--
and my Grandma Claudia
224
00:07:33,679 --> 00:07:36,771
made them invite everyoneto try to make peace.
225
00:07:36,865 --> 00:07:38,348
It was a disaster.
226
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:40,183
Lorraine Parcone wore white.
227
00:07:40,202 --> 00:07:41,776
I mean, I think it wasa full wedding dress.
228
00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:44,796
- Poor Grandma Gloria.
- Well, she got Lorraine back.
229
00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:45,947
Literally.
230
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,207
She poured punch down her back,
231
00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:48,633
and then she punched
herin the back.
232
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,302
I hear it wasa
beautiful wedding.
233
00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:51,211
Sounds lovely.
234
00:07:51,363 --> 00:07:52,879
Well, you know me, Aunt Gayle.
235
00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,380
I love a good family feud.
236
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,624
But today, the plan
is to put all that aside.
237
00:07:56,718 --> 00:07:59,369
Tomorrow, you can go
back to feuding it up. Okay?
238
00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:01,705
Yeah, do it for Mom.
It's Mother's Day.
239
00:08:01,798 --> 00:08:04,541
I mean, she's not your mother,
but she's a damn good woman.
240
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,558
Ugh, Mother's Day.
241
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,377
You know, it's
actually been proven
242
00:08:07,395 --> 00:08:09,062
that owning and
taking care of cats
243
00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:11,973
is 4,000 times harder than
being a mom to a human.
244
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,659
- Did your cats get you a present?
- Not yet.
245
00:08:14,811 --> 00:08:16,569
Maybe they're just
waiting for the right moment
246
00:08:16,771 --> 00:08:20,147
and tonight you're gonna find
like 50 dead birds in your bed.
247
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,075
Can you imagine?
248
00:08:22,227 --> 00:08:25,729
Okay, you didn't
likethe wacky broom idea
249
00:08:25,747 --> 00:08:27,321
- where the cards were the end of the wacky broom.
- Nope.
250
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,082
You didn't like the
giant eyebrow idea
251
00:08:29,234 --> 00:08:31,751
where the cards were a
giant eyebrow over an eye.
252
00:08:31,903 --> 00:08:33,845
- Terrifying.
- But what about this?
253
00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:36,348
I present to you long hair lady.
254
00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:38,908
- That hair is long.
- You like it?
255
00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:41,094
I like it. I just
think it's also bad.
256
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,912
Oh, I got one. I
just thought of one.
257
00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:44,748
All right, hang on.
I'm coming around.
258
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:47,600
Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk.
259
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,104
Uh, you could make all the
cards look like an accordion.
260
00:08:51,256 --> 00:08:52,939
So it's like an accordion lady.
261
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,533
A lady who plays the accordion?
262
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,443
No, kind of like a lady
whois an accordion.
263
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,945
- Oh.
- Huh.
264
00:08:59,097 --> 00:09:01,114
Came all the way out here
to do that, huh?
265
00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:03,433
Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning.
266
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,043
I mean, not burning.
It-It's perfect.
267
00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:08,288
I'm just gonna, uh, run back
and see how perfect it is.
268
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,032
Remember, everyone,
269
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,717
no matter how awful
this Lorraine lady is,
270
00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:15,369
we got to stick to the
plan: kill her with kindness.
271
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,556
- I heard "kill."
- No, no, no. Kindness.
272
00:09:17,632 --> 00:09:20,374
Right. But also, what
if we just start, like,
273
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,561
a little tiny fire in her house?
274
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,454
- Aunt Gayle, no.
- Oh, hi.
275
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:26,973
Uh, we are looking
for a Lorraine Parcone.
276
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,958
Would the Lorraine
of the house be home?
277
00:09:29,127 --> 00:09:31,236
She is not. But I am her son.
278
00:09:31,387 --> 00:09:33,554
I'm Nico. Uh,
who are all of you?
279
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:34,964
Oh, I'm Louise.
280
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:36,633
This is my brother
Gene and my sister Tina.
281
00:09:36,802 --> 00:09:39,986
And we're... your cousins!
282
00:09:40,138 --> 00:09:41,638
Well, third cousins. I think.
283
00:09:41,656 --> 00:09:45,141
- So we're totally fine to marry.
- And we're not enemies at all.
284
00:09:45,143 --> 00:09:46,418
Oh. Okay, great.
285
00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:48,828
And you must be their
mom-slash-also my cousin?
286
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,830
- Happy Mother's Day.
- Oh, right.
287
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,816
I-I am their mother. Yes.
288
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,983
That is what I am.
289
00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:55,985
I'm Linda, the homelier one.
290
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,837
Gayle, my sister,
is a trial lawyer
291
00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,989
and a model for a
bikini corporation.
292
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,249
Okay. Well, come on in.
293
00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:03,660
My mom should be back soon.
294
00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:05,252
She went out to pick
up some groceries.
295
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,771
That's a fun
Mother's Day errand.
296
00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:08,848
So, what brings
you all here today?
297
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,257
Such a good question.
298
00:10:10,352 --> 00:10:12,502
We were in the area
and thought we'd drop by
299
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,504
and meet some
cousins and just visit.
300
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:17,340
- We don't want anything from you!
- So, how are we related exactly?
301
00:10:17,359 --> 00:10:19,117
You're not from my
great-great-uncle Tony's
302
00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:20,526
side of the family, are you?
303
00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:24,605
Is what my mother would
ask if she were here.
304
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,291
But I don't care. I'm just
glad to meet some cousins.
305
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,943
Can I call you "cuz"?
Everybody okay with "cuz"?
306
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,128
Abso-cuz-lutely.
307
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:31,463
Hey, you don't
have a few minutes
308
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:33,706
to bust out the photo
albums or, I don't know,
309
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,694
old family recipes and just sit
around and get into it, do you?
310
00:10:37,712 --> 00:10:40,697
Well, the paint's got to dry on
my Buckaroo Banzai figurine.
311
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,474
Buckaroo Banzai?
Buckaroo Banzai? No?
312
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,367
Uh, I'll tell you
about it. Let's go.
313
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:46,035
You guys,
this is gonna be
314
00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:48,705
easier than I thought, but
we have to get the recipe
315
00:10:48,723 --> 00:10:49,889
before Lorraine gets home.
316
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,708
Aunt Gayle, why did you
say you were our mom?
317
00:10:51,726 --> 00:10:53,393
I don't know. It just came out.
318
00:10:53,545 --> 00:10:55,545
But hold my hand and call me
Mom and let me give you advice.
319
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,489
You should part your
hair in the middle.
320
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,883
- No, I don't want to do that.
- You're grounded.
321
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:01,642
Okay, here we go.
322
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,978
It's a lady with long
hair driving a race car.
323
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,646
Looks like she's in a bathtub.
324
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:08,057
- Does your mom like race cars?
- Everyone likes race cars.
325
00:11:08,076 --> 00:11:11,060
Everyone likes baths. It
could just be a bathtub.
326
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,729
Or she could have
no tattoo there,
327
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,155
which was my original present!
328
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,823
Hey, speaking of
Mother's Day presents,
329
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,417
the kids have been
gone for a while.
330
00:11:17,569 --> 00:11:18,735
Are you really not gonna tell me
331
00:11:18,753 --> 00:11:21,087
where Gayle took them
to get my gift? Come on!
332
00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:23,515
I'm not gonna tell
you. It's a surprise.
333
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:24,683
Is it Vermont?
334
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,075
- What?
- Did they drive up to Vermont
335
00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:27,260
to get me a blanket?
336
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,928
I bet Vermont
has great blankets.
337
00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,413
That-- No.
338
00:11:30,415 --> 00:11:32,506
I can tell you that
they're not doing that.
339
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,434
Now I know it's not a
blanket. Good job, Bob.
340
00:11:34,586 --> 00:11:36,769
Okay, I went with
the bathtub thing.
341
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:37,862
I gave her a bar of soap.
342
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,197
Why does the
bathtub have wheels?
343
00:11:39,424 --> 00:11:40,848
'Cause it was a race car!
344
00:11:40,942 --> 00:11:42,425
And here's my
grandpa Joey again.
345
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:43,943
This is when he
started sitting a lot.
346
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,203
Wow. I love these pictures.
347
00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:46,779
But do you know
what I also love?
348
00:11:46,932 --> 00:11:49,356
Written stuff:
letters, laundry lists,
349
00:11:49,451 --> 00:11:51,267
lists of ingredients
or something.
350
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,044
Ooh, there's another
album. I know where it is.
351
00:11:53,271 --> 00:11:54,604
I think there are a
couple of pictures
352
00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:55,880
of Grandpa Joey
standing in that one.
353
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,698
We got to find that
recipe and get out of here.
354
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,126
I'm gonna move that stool over
and check on top of the fridge.
355
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,461
I see some cookbooks.
356
00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:03,370
Tina, help me. Gayle,
what are you doing?
357
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,056
I'm gonna scratch
Joey's eyes out.
358
00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,892
- Nope, nope.
- Don't talk to your mother that way.
359
00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:10,803
Ooh, recipe box. Recipe box.
360
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,288
Flipping through.
361
00:12:12,381 --> 00:12:14,474
- Wait. Lasagna.
- We're not looking for lasagna.
362
00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:17,218
- Maybe it's looking for us.
- He's coming back.
363
00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:18,795
- Give it to me.
- No, no, no.
364
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,721
Well, look at that. I can
move this stool.
365
00:12:20,890 --> 00:12:23,074
- Oh, hey, cuz.
- Look what I got.
366
00:12:23,226 --> 00:12:24,801
- Ooh, I think Mom's home.
- Oh, no.
367
00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:27,487
- Do I look like I've been trying to find a job?
- So much.
368
00:12:27,639 --> 00:12:30,231
Nico, who's in my
spot? Ugly little car.
369
00:12:30,325 --> 00:12:31,824
Crap, crap, crap. What do we do?
370
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,567
Ah. Who are you people?
371
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:36,546
Run! I mean, hey, you.
372
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,985
- Wait, who are they?
- They're our cousins.
373
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:44,821
Yeah, Gene, Tina and me, Louise.
374
00:12:44,839 --> 00:12:47,490
And Linda. We
were just headed out.
375
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:50,251
Yup, we're taking our
mom to get washed.
376
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,936
- A brunch and wash.
- I'm filthy.
377
00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:54,163
Nico, you have been
nothing but delightful.
378
00:12:54,257 --> 00:12:56,107
Lorraine, incredible
to meet you.
379
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,167
- Are we hugging? I can't tell.
- Wait.
380
00:12:58,261 --> 00:12:59,685
Did you say your name was Linda?
381
00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:02,280
Yes. And these are my
three beautiful children
382
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:04,115
that I home-birthed
while watching TV
383
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:07,285
because birth isn't as hard as
people are always saying it is.
384
00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:10,013
So you're
Gloria's daughter?
385
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:11,772
I am. And that's really true.
386
00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:14,626
Nico, do you realize
what you've done?
387
00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:15,852
Uh, no.
388
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,279
You've let the foxes
into the henhouse.
389
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,023
You've invited
the blood of Tonys
390
00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:22,542
- into this house of the blood of Joeys!
- Ah!
391
00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:25,637
So, we know there's
some history in our family,
392
00:13:25,788 --> 00:13:27,454
but we swear, we come in peace.
393
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,216
The same way Tony
came to dinner in peace
394
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,311
all those years ago and
forked my grandfather?
395
00:13:33,538 --> 00:13:36,222
The same way your
Grandma Gloria came in peace
396
00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:37,798
when she poured
punch down my back
397
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,892
at her wedding and
then punched me?
398
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:42,045
Well, we should go
move that ugly car.
399
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,713
You're not leaving.
Why'd you come here?
400
00:13:43,731 --> 00:13:45,990
- What did you do?
- Here's the thing.
401
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,550
We actually came here to say
402
00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:50,495
- we think your side is right.
- What?
403
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:51,979
- What? Ow.
- Yeah.
404
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,164
That's why we're really here.
405
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,149
To tell you that our
side of the family
406
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,818
is dumb and stabby and bad.
407
00:13:57,896 --> 00:13:58,837
- Really?
- Okay.
408
00:13:58,988 --> 00:14:00,063
Really. Right, guys?
409
00:14:00,156 --> 00:14:01,397
It's not easy being a Tony.
410
00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:03,399
Oh, man, yeah. "Be
a Tony," they said.
411
00:14:03,418 --> 00:14:05,343
"It'll be easy," they said.
412
00:14:05,494 --> 00:14:06,511
Well, it's not!
413
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:08,495
Yeah, it's the worst. Ugh!
414
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:12,033
Even our, uh, mom
agrees. Right, Mommy?
415
00:14:12,093 --> 00:14:13,334
Yes, I do.
416
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,411
Well, you're right.
They're the worst.
417
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:18,172
But I guess it's not your
fault you come from garbage.
418
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,267
Hey, I got a rotisserie
chicken for Nico.
419
00:14:21,419 --> 00:14:23,027
Uh, he eats so many chickens.
420
00:14:23,104 --> 00:14:24,529
And I have Sprite.
You like Sprite?
421
00:14:24,714 --> 00:14:27,090
You want to stay for some
Sprite and some chicken? Huh?
422
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:28,591
Oh, we should really get going.
423
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:31,369
- It's Sprite and chicken time, baby!
- Gene.
424
00:14:31,596 --> 00:14:33,538
Mom, do we really have
to give them my chicken?
425
00:14:33,765 --> 00:14:35,689
Yes, Nico! You're
sharing your chicken.
426
00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:37,709
Oh, that's Mom.
427
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:40,269
She said she's sorry it
took so long to respond.
428
00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:41,771
She was at an estate sale
429
00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:43,439
and she got some
really good Rollerblades.
430
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,699
Oh! She likes the
long hair bathtub lady.
431
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,385
Okay. With the wheels?
432
00:14:47,462 --> 00:14:50,446
Wait. She said she
needs to "see it on skin."
433
00:14:50,465 --> 00:14:52,798
Mom, just draw it
right on your thigh.
434
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,376
She says she can't. She's rollerblading.
435
00:14:55,453 --> 00:14:56,469
Ooh, Teddy.
436
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,545
We draw it on your
thigh and send a picture.
437
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,732
My thighs are just a tiny
bit hairier than my mom's.
438
00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:04,569
Okay. So we do it on your
back and pretend it's a thigh?
439
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,130
- Eh, I-I-I don't know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
440
00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:09,223
- Take your shirt off.
- Okay.
441
00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:10,650
H-He'll-He'll put his
shirt back on soon.
442
00:15:10,802 --> 00:15:11,409
Enjoy your burger.
443
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,578
Sorry it's not home-cooked.
444
00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,230
And it's not that warm
and the soda's not cold.
445
00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,399
I'll never eat chicken
any other way.
446
00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,143
I can't believe you gave
them the drumsticks.
447
00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:22,311
Hush! Guests get the drumsticks!
448
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,496
Well, that was delicious.
449
00:15:23,572 --> 00:15:24,923
Got to save some
room for brunch, though.
450
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,257
Right, everybody?
451
00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:28,242
Yes, let's leave. I'll
take my fanny pack.
452
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,153
- I'll take my chicken.
- Okay, bye.
453
00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:31,671
No, no. Don't go yet.
454
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,264
We're having such a nice visit,
455
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:36,159
and you were gonna say bad
stuff about your grandparents.
456
00:15:36,177 --> 00:15:37,493
Sit, sit, sit.
457
00:15:37,512 --> 00:15:38,844
- Okay.
- Sure.
458
00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:40,163
Can someone please
pass the chicken?
459
00:15:40,181 --> 00:15:42,181
So, Grandma Gloria. Yuck, right?
460
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,441
- Oh, yuck. Yeah.
- Ugh. The worst.
461
00:15:43,668 --> 00:15:45,276
- Right, Mom?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
462
00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:47,779
Yeah, I didn't have another
dress to wear to her wedding,
463
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:51,098
so I wore my wedding dress,
and somehow I'm the bad guy?
464
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,116
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
465
00:15:52,268 --> 00:15:53,451
Linda, have some chicken.
466
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,695
- I don't want chicken.
- I'll have some chicken.
467
00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:58,364
Ah! And that voice.
Everyone on that side.
468
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,625
Linda, you are
lucky you didn't get it.
469
00:16:00,776 --> 00:16:02,109
- Mm-hmm.
- Have some chicken.
470
00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:04,370
- I'd like the chicken.
- Ah, those people make me sick.
471
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,946
Linda, seriously,
have some chicken.
472
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,132
- You don't like chicken?
- Fine, I'll get it myself.
473
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:09,542
All right, I'll have
some chicken!
474
00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:10,635
Ow!
475
00:16:10,862 --> 00:16:13,120
Did you just stab my
sweet baby boy Nico?
476
00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:14,213
It was an accident.
477
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:15,640
I just wanted some chicken.
478
00:16:15,791 --> 00:16:17,458
- Okay, gosh, look at the time.
- Bye-bye.
479
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,811
Oh, I dropped my fork that I
didn't stab you on purpose with.
480
00:16:20,038 --> 00:16:21,187
I'll pick it up.
481
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,131
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Oh, God.
482
00:16:24,209 --> 00:16:25,708
Wait! Is that my recipe box?
483
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:28,878
- You stole my recipes?
- You can't prove anything.
484
00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:31,030
Well, this has just
been delightful.
485
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,719
Of course you Tonys
come in our home,
486
00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:40,556
fork my boy and try
to steal my recipes.
487
00:16:40,649 --> 00:16:41,648
They ate my drumsticks.
488
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,168
Okay, yes, we did
all of those things.
489
00:16:44,395 --> 00:16:47,154
No matter how much we
told someone to be cool.
490
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:48,564
It was an accident, sort of.
491
00:16:48,657 --> 00:16:50,341
But, listen, we wanted
to give our mom
492
00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:51,901
something special
for Mother's Day.
493
00:16:51,994 --> 00:16:53,586
- The brunch and wash?
- No, the recipe
494
00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:56,572
for her great-grandma
Maria's Bolognese sauce.
495
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,074
And that's the whole truth.
496
00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,684
- Well, she's also not our mom.
- Right. Good point.
497
00:16:59,911 --> 00:17:01,853
I'm Linda's brilliant
sister Gayle.
498
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:03,187
So now that's the whole truth.
499
00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:05,005
Also, I haven't brushed
my teeth in four weeks.
500
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,340
There, that's it!
501
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,084
Why would you think I
would have that recipe?
502
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:10,177
Because you're no-good Joeys?
503
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,604
We don't have it. The Tonys do.
504
00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:13,531
One of you took it when
you were going through
505
00:17:13,682 --> 00:17:16,034
Grandma Maria's stuff in her
basement after she passed.
506
00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:17,851
And you won't share it with us!
507
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,353
- Liar!
- Ugh, now I'm hearing
508
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,705
Gloria's voice
in there.
509
00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:23,207
Lorraine, our family doesn't
have the recipe. We swear.
510
00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:24,876
It's why we came all the
way to your house today.
511
00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,527
And to hang with
this guy. Am I right?
512
00:17:26,621 --> 00:17:28,546
We just wanted to do it
for our mom-- our real mom.
513
00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:31,290
She said that sauce reminds
her of her Grandma Claudia,
514
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:32,775
who she was missing today,
515
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:34,944
and she said she wished
she could taste it again.
516
00:17:34,962 --> 00:17:36,554
Huh. All these years,
Tony's side thought
517
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,632
Joey's side had it, and Joey's
side thought Tony's side had it.
518
00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:41,392
And after the totally
understandable
519
00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,302
- wedding dress incident...
- I mean...
520
00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:45,045
...no one's talking
to each other.
521
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,231
And we all think the other
side is having Nana Maria's
522
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:49,216
incredible Bolognese
for dinner every night.
523
00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,218
But no one was
Bolog-nosey enough
524
00:17:51,312 --> 00:17:53,237
to come after
the recipe until us.
525
00:17:53,464 --> 00:17:55,907
The rest of Nana's stuff
went off on a truck to Goodwill.
526
00:17:56,058 --> 00:17:58,801
Some stranger's making
great sauce right now.
527
00:17:58,803 --> 00:18:01,412
- And Tina's making another card.
- Damn it.
528
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,806
I really think
it came out great.
529
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:05,641
Y-You know you can put
your shirt back on, right?
530
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:08,235
Uh, I just want to let
the tat breathe a little.
531
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,146
- It's still pretty raw.
- It's pen, Teddy.
532
00:18:10,164 --> 00:18:11,997
Yeah, but she
pressed really hard.
533
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,424
Oh, here we go.
534
00:18:13,576 --> 00:18:16,152
Mom says, "On second
thought, I don't think it works."
535
00:18:16,245 --> 00:18:17,428
- Crap.
- I guess it's back to
536
00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:19,580
paying to have
her tattoo removed.
537
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,432
I might have to sell my
truck, but that's okay.
538
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,251
I can bike my tools and
ladders around. Or scooter.
539
00:18:24,345 --> 00:18:26,011
Wait. Teddy, this is crazy.
540
00:18:26,164 --> 00:18:27,680
Your mom loved gin rummy enough
541
00:18:27,832 --> 00:18:29,682
to get a tattoo of it on
her upper, upper thigh.
542
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,776
Well, do you want to
know what's cheaper than
543
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:32,944
getting a tattoo removed?
544
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:34,595
Your mom calling
her card buddies
545
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,173
and telling them she's sorry for
being such a rummy crumbum
546
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,599
that they kicked
her out of the group.
547
00:18:38,676 --> 00:18:40,359
You think she should
try to patch things up
548
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,436
- with the Rum Runners?
- Yes, Teddy, I do.
549
00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:44,347
Funny, coming from the
lady with the family feud
550
00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:45,939
that's three generations long.
551
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,126
- It's Mother's Day. Shush.
- Yup. Sorry.
552
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,627
I'm gonna call her.
553
00:18:49,778 --> 00:18:50,777
Ma?! What?!
554
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,204
- Teddy, you're shouting.
- Ma?!
555
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:53,297
- I can't...
- Teddy.
556
00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:54,857
Bob, I'm gonna
take this outside.
557
00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,283
It's too loud in here.
558
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,118
- Ma?! Ma?!
- Ooh, there they are.
559
00:18:58,212 --> 00:18:59,712
- Hey, kids. Ma?!
- Hi, Gayle.
560
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,365
Does some lucky mom have
a sweet Mother's Day present
561
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:03,699
coming her way?
562
00:19:03,718 --> 00:19:05,868
We wanted to get you
something really special,
563
00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:07,294
but we kind of failed.
564
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,054
Turns out we
weren't too big to fail.
565
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,481
Wait, what were you
kids trying to get me?
566
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:12,892
Your great-grandmother's
Bolognese recipe
567
00:19:12,968 --> 00:19:14,819
that Grandma Claudia
used to make for you.
568
00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:18,564
Oh, my God! I'm
gonna cry.
569
00:19:18,716 --> 00:19:19,824
That's so sweet.
570
00:19:20,017 --> 00:19:22,568
Oh, snot's coming
out. Snot's coming out.
571
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,478
How would you even get that?
572
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,405
Aunt Gayle took us to your
cousin Lorraine's house.
573
00:19:26,557 --> 00:19:28,649
- What?
- In my car that I know how to drive.
574
00:19:28,743 --> 00:19:30,484
- She wouldn't give you the recipe, huh?
- No.
575
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,170
She couldn't give
us the recipe because
576
00:19:32,321 --> 00:19:34,154
she doesn't have the
recipe. No one does.
577
00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:35,731
Wait, what? Wh-What do you mean?
578
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:37,491
Great-Uncle Joey never had it.
579
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,235
They thought our side
of the family took it.
580
00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:41,904
Wait, so the Joeys
aren't recipe stealers?
581
00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:44,515
- It's just gone?
- It's sauced in translation.
582
00:19:44,701 --> 00:19:46,851
And you know what?
I'm just gonna say it.
583
00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,427
This feud is dumb.
584
00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:50,504
Somebody bought a house, and
then somebody forked somebody,
585
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,857
like, forever ago, and
everyone should just get over it.
586
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:56,176
People get forked every day
and move on with their lives.
587
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,920
I forked Nico today.
588
00:19:58,013 --> 00:20:00,272
I mean, what-- We're
supposed to be the idiot kids.
589
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,941
Why do we have to
tell you all this crap?
590
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:03,517
Yeah, Mom, grow up! Uh, sorry.
591
00:20:03,594 --> 00:20:06,262
Wow. Don't really like
that smart-mouth attitude,
592
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,446
but maybe you're right.
593
00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:10,023
Maybe it's time to start
putting feuds behind us.
594
00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:11,542
Gin rummy feuds, family feuds...
595
00:20:11,694 --> 00:20:14,712
Yeah, I was kind of the one
who pointed that out earlier.
596
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,456
It's Mother's Day!
597
00:20:17,608 --> 00:20:19,475
Well, she wasn't crazy
about the apology idea,
598
00:20:19,477 --> 00:20:21,201
but she said
maybe she'll hold off
599
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,461
on getting the tattoo removed.
600
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:24,371
She told me to just
take her someplace nice
601
00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:26,966
for a baked potato and
then call it a Mother's Day.
602
00:20:27,118 --> 00:20:28,133
Ooh, baked potato.
603
00:20:28,286 --> 00:20:29,301
Well, we're sorry
we couldn't get you
604
00:20:29,454 --> 00:20:30,636
your family's sauce recipe.
605
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,379
But we made you this
card on the way home.
606
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,458
It says "Moth-er's Day,"
and I drew you as a moth.
607
00:20:35,626 --> 00:20:36,308
That'd be a good tattoo.
608
00:20:36,461 --> 00:20:38,477
Aw. You kids are incredible,
609
00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:39,812
and you acted so grown-up today.
610
00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:41,555
Trying to end a
bitter family feud.
611
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,300
And I made you that way, so
I'm, like, the best mom in the world.
612
00:20:44,393 --> 00:20:46,410
Now come here, my little
babies. I love you so much.
613
00:20:46,562 --> 00:20:48,137
Hey, maybe we should
have Lorraine and Nico
614
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:49,321
over for dinner sometime.
615
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:51,307
- We owe him some chicken.
- Okay, fine.
616
00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:52,899
- But then we can prank them.
- Yeah.
617
00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,234
I'll hide a fork in my sock.
618
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,811
Fork both of them
when they're not looking,
619
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:57,313
- as a fun joke.
- Yeah, yeah.
620
00:20:57,315 --> 00:20:59,423
Never cross these women!
621
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:00,833
♪ Floppy waffles ♪
622
00:21:00,985 --> 00:21:02,260
♪ Floppy, floppy,floppy, floppy ♪
623
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,246
♪ Mother's Day in the kitchen ♪
624
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:09,100
♪ Things are getting sloppy ♪
625
00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:10,751
♪ Oh, my, check it out ♪
626
00:21:10,845 --> 00:21:12,419
♪ It's gonna make
youscream and shout ♪
627
00:21:12,513 --> 00:21:13,920
♪ Your waffles
arepretty floppy ♪
628
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,347
♪ Floppy waffles ♪
629
00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:16,499
♪ Floppy, floppy,floppy, floppy ♪
630
00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:19,685
- ♪ Floppy waffles ♪
- ♪ Floppy waffles... ♪
631
00:21:19,837 --> 00:21:21,353
♪ Floppy waffles falafels ♪
632
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,856
♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy,floppy, floppy, floppy ♪
633
00:21:24,008 --> 00:21:26,266
♪ Floppy waffles,floppy waffles ♪
634
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:29,345
♪ Flippity flop, flop,
floppity flop, flop, flop ♪
635
00:21:29,363 --> 00:21:30,621
♪ Waffles. ♪
636
00:21:30,773 --> 00:21:32,515
Huh, fell on the floor.Ah, I'm still eating it.
637
00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:33,457
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
638
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,709
and TOYOTA.
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