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♪ ♪
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.
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Everything okay, Teddy?
You keep looking at that letter
4
00:00:24,174 --> 00:00:25,507
and making that noise.
5
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,417
Mm. It's an invitation
from the navy.
6
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What, the navy
doesn't have Evite?
7
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Are you shipping out, sailor?
8
00:00:31,348 --> 00:00:33,257
Are we talking new navy
or old navy?
9
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:35,868
Uh, the frigate I served on
is getting decommissioned.
10
00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:37,202
They're gonna scuttle
the old girl.
11
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Buy her dinner first, right?
12
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,948
I think I understood
three of those words, Teddy.
13
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:43,433
Oh, sorry. A frigate's a ship,
14
00:00:43,452 --> 00:00:45,619
and scuttling
is sinking it on purpose.
15
00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,287
Wait, why are they
sinking it on purpose?
16
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Is it because
if they can't have it,
17
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- no one else can?
- Kind of.
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It's getting decommissioned.
19
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Once a navy ship
gets too old to be useful,
20
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,220
a lot of times,
they'll torpedo it.
21
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And then it sinks
to the bottom of the ocean
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and becomes an artificial reef
for fish and sea monsters,
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- I assume.
- Frigate.
24
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- Gene, don't say "frigate."
- It's not a bad word.
25
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I want to hear more
about the torpedoing part.
26
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Where are they doing it?
When are they doing it?
27
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,050
Can we buy tickets to watch?
28
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,569
And can I be the one
to push the button?
29
00:01:10,796 --> 00:01:12,145
And if I'm the one
pushing the button,
30
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,555
do I really need to buy
a ticket?
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Yeah, it's happening next week
out at sea.
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No one's invited to that.
33
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But, uh, those of us
who served on the maiden voyage
34
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,971
are invited
to a ceremony tomorrow.
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It's in Bog Harbor
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because they built
part of the ship there.
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The toilets, I think.
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That's fun. That's exciting.
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So why are you being all mopey
about it?
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Well, I'm probably not gonna go.
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What? You have to go.
It's a ceremony.
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Ah, I don't know.
I'm just not sure
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00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,762
I want to run into
any of my old shipmates.
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Why not?
Don't you want to reminisce
45
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about the good ol' days?
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Put on your little sailor suits
47
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and dance around the town?
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- Aw.
- I mean,
I loved being in the navy,
49
00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:47,164
but, uh, it wasn't all great.
50
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There was this one incident.
51
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Wha...? What happened?
52
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Just a silly little mistake.
53
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Did you launch the nukes
accidentally on purpose,
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- wink-wink?
- No.
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Did you fall in love
with a mermaid,
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and then she became human
for you,
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then she missed the ocean,
and she returned to the sea,
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00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:03,104
- and you never got over it?
- No, not that.
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00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:04,439
Teddy, just tell us the story!
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- Sorry. Sorry.
- All right, fine.
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We were in the middleof a deployment
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00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:10,370
in the middle of the Pacific,
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and it was the middleof the night.
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00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:13,632
Lot of middles, Malcolm.
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00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:15,692
I was scrubbing the deckwhen an officer came by.
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00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:18,470
You always have to salutean officer, so I did.
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- But he was a ghost.
- No, he was really there.
68
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:21,807
But what wasn't there
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00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:25,460
was a railing, so I kind of fellinto the ocean.
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Which happens sometimes
but almost never.
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They rang the bell and stopped
the ship and fished me out.
72
00:02:32,711 --> 00:02:35,470
And everyone woke up and saw it.
It was not great.
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00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,381
So, hey,
you fell off your ship one time
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and had to get rescued.
Big deal.
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- Two times.
- Two times?
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00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:44,221
Yeah. I-I fell off a second
time, on the same night.
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Yeah, I was showing some guyshow easy it is to fall in.
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And then I fell in again.
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Oh, Teddy.
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I mean, that's not that bad.
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00:02:52,489 --> 00:02:54,339
It was bad. I got a nickname.
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- Captain Drippy?
- Admiral Belly Flop?
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- Double-Dip.
- Double-Dip? Oh, that's good.
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00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,679
- Sorry.
- For the rest of the deployment,
85
00:03:00,906 --> 00:03:01,922
everyone called me Double-Dip.
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00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,757
Then that's all I was
to everybody.
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00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:05,166
So that's why I don't want to go
88
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,168
to the farewell ceremony
tomorrow.
89
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,520
No, you got to go.
90
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,522
Lin, it doesn't sound
like Teddy wants to go.
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00:03:10,749 --> 00:03:11,915
He needs to go.
92
00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:14,084
- I do?
- Yes. Otherwise, they win.
93
00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:15,252
- They do?
- Yeah.
94
00:03:15,421 --> 00:03:16,770
But if you go, you win.
95
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:19,180
You'll show them you don't care
about some dumb nickname.
96
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:20,741
But I kind of do care about it.
97
00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,609
It comes up quite a bit
in therapy.
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00:03:22,761 --> 00:03:24,444
That and my thing
about shopping carts.
99
00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:26,538
Look,
something similar happened to me
100
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,706
when I was in high school.
101
00:03:27,933 --> 00:03:29,433
You fell off
a high school frigate?
102
00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:31,859
No. I was over
at Debbie Bernardini's house
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00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,770
for a sleepover
with a group of girls
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who I thought were my friends.
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We were watching a scary moviethat was very popular
106
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,367
at the time.I forget what it was called.
107
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,553
There was a guy,he was killing people.
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00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:43,129
- You know the one. Anyway,-
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so, someone got killed,and we all screamed,
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- and I farted.
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00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,951
But it turns outit was more than just a fart.
112
00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:49,636
A little bit of poopcame out, too.
113
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It was pretty obviouswhen the smell didn't go away.
114
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,139
And I also wentinto the bathroom,
115
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:54,900
and I might havekind of shouted,
116
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:56,977
"Oh, no,a little bit of poop came out!
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There's poop! There's poop!"
118
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And they called meDeath by Chocolate.
119
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And they laughed a lot.
120
00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:02,724
And I didn't go
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00:04:02,818 --> 00:04:04,243
to another sleepover
for the rest of high school.
122
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:05,727
You are pretty vocal
in the bathroom
123
00:04:05,821 --> 00:04:08,396
- about what's going on.
- Yeah, a lot of commentary.
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00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,082
She's like Ken Burns in there.
125
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It helps to talk it through.
Anyway, I let them win.
126
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Teddy, that's why you got to go
to your thing, so you win.
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00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:17,905
That's a touching story, Linda,
128
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,741
but I don't know
if I can face those guys.
129
00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:21,334
- We'll come with you.
- Really?
130
00:04:21,487 --> 00:04:22,319
No. No, no, no.
131
00:04:22,337 --> 00:04:23,670
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
132
00:04:23,822 --> 00:04:25,264
As emotional support.
And muscle if you need it.
133
00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:28,267
But not going
is also a reasonable option.
134
00:04:28,494 --> 00:04:30,160
I mean,
if you guys came with me,
135
00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:31,586
I'd feel a lot better
about going.
136
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,680
And they're gonna have
a bunch of music and food.
137
00:04:33,832 --> 00:04:35,107
It says
"Bring the whole family."
138
00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:36,683
It doesn't say whose family.
139
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,610
- Please?
- Please, please, please?
I want to get a picture
140
00:04:38,762 --> 00:04:41,113
- of me with a torpedo for my own
personal Christmas card.
- Yeah, Dad.
141
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,949
I hear you're supposed to do
fun activities with your kids.
142
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- Come on, Bob.
143
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,177
O-Okay, fine.
144
00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:48,287
- Frigate.
- Gene.
145
00:04:48,514 --> 00:04:50,438
Do we look okay, Teddy?
146
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,774
- Are we under-tattooed?
- Should we go on shore leave
147
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,275
and cause a ruckus
with some locals?
148
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,353
- Come back with a shiner?
- And cans of spinach
149
00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:58,204
that you somehow suck
through the can?
150
00:04:58,357 --> 00:04:59,631
Oh, boy, here we go.
151
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:02,116
Sheesh, I can't believe
it's been 30 years.
152
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:03,135
You and the ship look amazing.
153
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,694
One of you has barnacles
on them,
154
00:05:04,713 --> 00:05:06,546
but I'm not gonna say who
'cause I'm a gentleman sailor.
155
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,715
Come on, let's go touch stuff
we're not supposed to.
156
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:11,292
Uh, okay, but don't do that.
157
00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:13,961
Uh, I'm so nervous.
My ears are sweating.
158
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,221
No, they're no...
Oh, my God, they are.
159
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:16,873
I thought it was an earring.
160
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:19,042
Remember, just by showing up
today, you win, and they lose.
161
00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:20,152
Hey.
162
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,486
Check it out. It's Double-Dip.
163
00:05:21,563 --> 00:05:23,396
Double-Dip is here. No way.
164
00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:26,550
How'd you get here?
Did you swim over?
165
00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:28,660
- Oh, boy.
- Okay, they win, I lose.
Let's go.
166
00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:30,829
Come on, Teddy.
Just stay for a little bit.
167
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,722
An hour tops. Six drinks.
168
00:05:32,741 --> 00:05:34,482
Just kidding. Sort of.
There's drinks, right?
169
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,651
- Yeah.
- Good. Hey, you can do this.
170
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,578
We'll be here for you.
Right next to you.
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00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:40,038
- Right, Bob?
- Uh, sure.
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00:05:40,190 --> 00:05:41,340
Or-or behind you.
173
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:43,900
It just kind of depends
on how everyone's standing.
174
00:05:43,919 --> 00:05:45,010
Okay, fine. An hour.
175
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,845
And maybe you guys hold my hands
the whole time?
176
00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:49,406
- No? Probably not?
Get over here.
177
00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:51,833
- And try not to fall in.
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00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,259
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
179
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,519
- I don't like it.
- It's gonna be great.
180
00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:56,438
- Come on, let's do this ship.
181
00:06:00,602 --> 00:06:03,587
Hey, Tony, Raul, Billy.
Good to see you all.
182
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,513
Double-Dip, you came. Wow.
183
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,515
Of course he came.
He's a navy man
184
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,202
showing off his old ship
to his not-navy friends.
185
00:06:10,395 --> 00:06:12,112
We're his biggest fans.
We're like his groupies.
186
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:13,597
- Right, Bob?
Mm.
187
00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:15,356
It's great to see you, DD.
That's short for Double-D,
188
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:16,766
which is short for Double-Dip.
189
00:06:16,935 --> 00:06:18,435
'Cause he fell
in the ocean twice.
190
00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:22,047
Yeah, I forgot
all about that Double-Dip stuff.
191
00:06:22,198 --> 00:06:23,790
So glad you brought it up.
192
00:06:23,942 --> 00:06:26,126
I got to go over there now
and see what that stuff is
193
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,128
over on that thing. The table?
194
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,704
What is it, food?
195
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,948
- Okay, see you later.
- Okay.
196
00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:34,801
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Has it been an hour yet?
197
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,210
I think it's been,
like, ten minutes?
198
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,563
If we round up from one minute.
199
00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:40,381
Come on, you're doing great.
200
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,733
You're sticking it
to those navy ninnies.
201
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,735
Do you know how much I wish
I could go to a boat party
202
00:06:43,962 --> 00:06:45,629
with the Debbie Bernardini crew
right now and say,
203
00:06:45,647 --> 00:06:47,889
"Look at me.
No chocolate on this dress"?
204
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,984
God, I'd kill for that.
Oh, actually, that is chocolate.
205
00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:52,077
Where'd you get chocolate?
206
00:06:52,228 --> 00:06:53,319
- I don't know.
Well,
207
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,080
terrible news.
Turns out all the weapons
208
00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,640
were taken off this ship
weeks ago.
209
00:06:56,733 --> 00:06:59,325
Apparently, it's "not safe"
to scuttle a ship
210
00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:02,087
with missiles on board.
This is why I don't pay taxes.
211
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:05,315
We did see a knot-tying workshop
for the sailors' kids. Eh?
212
00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:07,241
I mean, why "knot"?
213
00:07:07,335 --> 00:07:09,410
I could finally learn
how to tie these bad boys.
214
00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:10,820
Mom tied them a year ago,
215
00:07:10,822 --> 00:07:12,747
and now I just try not to have
to take them off.
216
00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,749
Pass. I know
all the knots I need to know
217
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,250
from Tina's
Thundergirl handbook.
218
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,085
Oh, yeah.
I was supposed to learn those,
219
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,512
but I did "knot."
220
00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:21,589
Seriously, though,
I didn't get my knot-tying badge
221
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,366
because I made
too many knot jokes.
222
00:07:23,426 --> 00:07:25,018
- I'm funny at Thundergirls.
I-I would do knots.
223
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,520
I-I've always wanted
to be a knots guy.
224
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,115
I mean, it's for kids,
but I'm sure it isn't weird
225
00:07:30,342 --> 00:07:31,283
if a grown man is also learning.
226
00:07:31,434 --> 00:07:33,285
You can pretend to be our dad.
227
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:35,512
All right,
everyone got their rope?
228
00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:37,013
If that's what this is.
229
00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:38,272
Schmitty, is that you?
230
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,126
Oh. No, I'm-I'm not, uh,
Schmitty.
231
00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:42,869
- I-I'm-I'm Bob.
- Wow.
232
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,278
You are the spitting image.
233
00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,705
Raul, look at this guy
over here.
234
00:07:45,857 --> 00:07:47,114
Doesn't he look like Schmitty?
235
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,967
Huh. Now that you mention it,
236
00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:50,210
yeah, he's the spitting image.
237
00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:51,878
Huh, he does look
like Schmitty.
238
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,380
- Wait, who's Schmitty?
- I mean, I knew
he wasn't coming today.
239
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,549
He's in Florida doing
that deep-sea salvage stuff.
240
00:07:56,702 --> 00:08:00,127
Sunken treasure.
That's the life, huh? Schmitty.
241
00:08:00,296 --> 00:08:02,981
- "Sunken treasure"
is what I call Dad's butt.
- Gene.
242
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:04,799
All right, we're gonna start off
243
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,485
with a simple
but important knot:
244
00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:07,635
the bowline.
245
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,729
Make a loop.
Tag end goes through.
246
00:08:09,881 --> 00:08:11,881
Under and over. Back through.
247
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,659
Bowline.
Let's see how you all did.
248
00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:16,219
Good. Nice. Eh,
249
00:08:16,312 --> 00:08:17,478
boy, you really aren't Schmitty.
250
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,313
Sorry, can-can you show me
one more time?
251
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,316
- You-you went really fast.
- "Knot" too fast for me.
252
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,002
Actually, it was a little fast.
253
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:25,987
Okay. Make a loop,
pass it through,
254
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:29,065
under and over
and back through and...
255
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,343
- Still too fast?
- Still too fast.
- I'm good.
256
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:34,254
Okay. Here's how we teach
the little kids.
257
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,906
The rabbit comes up
from his hole,
258
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,241
runs around the tree
259
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,076
and then goes back
into his hole.
260
00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:42,912
Your rabbit didn't make it back
into its hole.
261
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:45,357
- Wait, where is your rabbit?
- Uh, uh...
262
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:47,174
Dad, what did you do
to your rabbit?!
263
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,585
Okay, enough food, Teddy.
264
00:08:48,678 --> 00:08:50,695
Let's hit the bar,
get some alcohol inside of you.
265
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:52,680
Eh, but Tony and the guys
are at the bar.
266
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,199
Teddy, it's a free country.
267
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:55,608
And free drinks. Come on.
268
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,245
Have you considered
challenging them to a navy duel,
269
00:08:58,430 --> 00:08:59,946
which I assume
involves water guns?
270
00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,781
Let's hope
it doesn't come to that.
271
00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:04,358
Teddy, you're so witty,
272
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,436
and you know so much
about ships and life,
273
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,713
and you just don't care
what people think about you.
274
00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:11,624
Oh, you guys again. Hi.
275
00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:13,626
Hey, I just came back
from the supply room
276
00:09:13,779 --> 00:09:14,611
and picked up my memento.
277
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,129
- What'd you get?
- I got a pad eye.
278
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,538
Me, too. Picked it up
279
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,907
- when I first got here.
- What's a pad eye?
280
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,450
- It's like a cleat.
- What's a cleat?
281
00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,060
It's a thing
you secure a rope to.
282
00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:23,636
Rope! I know rope.
283
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:25,546
So, wait, we can just take stuff
from the ship?
284
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,807
- Dibs on that huge cannon.
No, Louise.
285
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,475
Only sailors
from the maiden voyage
286
00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:31,644
can take something off the ship
before they sink it.
287
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,406
- What are you getting, Teddy?
- Oh, nothing.
288
00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:35,574
What? Why nothing?
289
00:09:35,801 --> 00:09:37,576
'Cause I didn't put in a request
for anything.
290
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:39,411
They should give a life vest
to Double-Dip.
291
00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:41,487
Ha! Good one, Billy.
That was a good one.
292
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:44,808
- Right. Double-D?
- Yeah. I'm not upset.
293
00:09:44,826 --> 00:09:47,602
- Hello, ma'am.
294
00:09:47,604 --> 00:09:48,903
Beers for my friends
295
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,814
and, uh, have you ever heard
of a Twisted Monkey?
296
00:09:50,816 --> 00:09:53,499
- I have not.
- It's a ginger ale and ice,
twisted.
297
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:56,319
And then you make a noise like
a monkey when you give it to me.
298
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:57,503
I don't know
if I want to do that.
299
00:09:57,656 --> 00:09:59,264
Okay, I'll make the noise
like a monkey.
300
00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:01,324
Wait, Teddy, I don't get it.
301
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:02,601
Why didn't you ask
for part of the ship?
302
00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:03,935
I didn't think I was gonna come.
303
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:05,419
Plus, what was I gonna write
on the letter?
304
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,963
"Hi, I'm the guy
who fell off the ship twice.
305
00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:09,332
Can I please have something"?
306
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:10,275
They probably
would've stamped it
307
00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:12,093
with "Request denied, idiot."
308
00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,020
Thank you.
309
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,447
Not so hard, is it?
310
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:18,432
Well, is there a part
of the ship that you would want?
311
00:10:18,526 --> 00:10:19,951
I mean,
I wouldn't say no to a pad eye.
312
00:10:20,103 --> 00:10:22,178
Who would? It's a pad eye.
It's like a cleat.
313
00:10:22,271 --> 00:10:24,013
Well, then,
let's get you a pad eye.
314
00:10:24,032 --> 00:10:26,199
We can't. The request
had to be in months ago.
315
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:28,685
- There's got to be a way.
- Nah, forget it.
316
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:30,962
I don't even deserve
part of the ship.
317
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:35,300
Teddy, uh, Louise and I
are gonna... go pee!
318
00:10:35,451 --> 00:10:36,376
She shouted.
319
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,861
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll be right back.
320
00:10:37,863 --> 00:10:39,304
Listen,
it's not right that Teddy
321
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:41,698
doesn't get anything
from this ship while Tony
322
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,032
gets to take a pad eye with him
323
00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:44,476
even though he was
a total poop deck to Teddy
324
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:46,478
- the whole time.
- They never said
the sea was fair.
325
00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:48,629
I say we find a way
to get Teddy something.
326
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:51,391
Something better than a pad eye.
That's how he'll win.
327
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,377
Yeah, that kind of makes sense
in a dumb, beautiful way.
328
00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:57,563
So, are you in for operation
"Go Get a Part of the Ship
329
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:59,232
from That Supply Room Place
for Teddy"?
330
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,808
- Uh, yeah. Sure.
- Okay.
331
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,977
Thought there was gonna be
a little more energy there,
332
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,387
- but great.
- And after that,
333
00:11:04,406 --> 00:11:06,331
- we find the frickin' torpedoes.
- There's the energy.
334
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:09,042
But probably not
with the torpedo thing.
335
00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:14,488
So, what's the plan?
We're just gonna ask
336
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:15,565
for a piece of the ship
for Teddy?
337
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:16,916
We'll ask nicely.
338
00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:19,493
And we'll say, "Please make it
slightly better than a pad eye."
339
00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,070
Nope. Can't do that.
340
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,014
- Pretty please?
- Uh, no.
341
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:25,575
- Aw, frigate.
- Okay, good start. Good start.
342
00:11:25,668 --> 00:11:28,502
And that is how you tie
the sheet bend knot.
343
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,264
Can't wait till someone asks me
how to do a sheet bend.
344
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:32,765
Still working on the bowline?
345
00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,192
Almost got it.
346
00:11:34,343 --> 00:11:36,252
There! I did it! Damn it.
347
00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:38,012
I bet Schmitty
can tie a bowline.
348
00:11:38,106 --> 00:11:39,531
Schmitty can tie any knot.
349
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:42,275
He even invented his own knot:
the Schmitty Liddy.
350
00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,202
Best knot in the world
for securing lids.
351
00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:45,762
- So cool.
Mm-hmm.
352
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:48,264
Why, oh, why would God bless you
with Schmitty's face
353
00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:50,934
- but curse you with those hands?
- I don't know.
354
00:11:50,952 --> 00:11:52,602
Okay, everybody done
with the sheet bend?
355
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,938
Hold them up.
Looking good. I'll...
356
00:11:54,956 --> 00:11:56,381
check in with your bowline
in a bit.
357
00:11:56,608 --> 00:11:59,050
Maybe a little time apart
will do us both some good.
358
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:00,385
I'm gonna get it.
359
00:12:00,612 --> 00:12:02,278
You, uh, you kids
want to learn hitch knots?
360
00:12:02,371 --> 00:12:03,613
Hitch, please.
361
00:12:03,631 --> 00:12:05,223
There's got to be
a piece of this ship
362
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:07,116
you can give our friend
that no one's claimed.
363
00:12:07,135 --> 00:12:08,451
He's really nice.
364
00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:10,544
A little sad but nice.
He's not too sad.
365
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,546
Look, next time
your friend wants a souvenir
366
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,640
from an $80 million piece
of U.S. military property
367
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,902
that requires prior approval,
he might want to plan ahead.
368
00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:19,571
It just seems like
there are so many parts
369
00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:22,148
still on the ship, and it's
getting sunk next week, and...
370
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,909
Scuttled.
Sorry about my mom.
371
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,244
It's okay. I have one, too.
372
00:12:26,395 --> 00:12:27,579
Listen, we come from land,
373
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,748
and we can get you
any land thing you want.
374
00:12:29,824 --> 00:12:32,584
I could be back here
in 20 minutes with magazines,
375
00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:34,978
potato chips, houseplants,
376
00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:36,421
water that's not salty.
377
00:12:36,572 --> 00:12:38,815
Please don't try and bribe me
with potato chips
378
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,833
and houseplants.
It's very insulting.
379
00:12:40,986 --> 00:12:43,928
I've been off a ship once.
I know about that stuff.
380
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,413
But...
- I'm gonna start
ignoring you two.
381
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,099
Please go
somewhere not here now.
382
00:12:48,251 --> 00:12:49,917
I think we're getting close.
383
00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:51,344
Ugh! Stupid rope.
384
00:12:51,496 --> 00:12:53,420
It's not the rope's fault.
Have you ever been checked
385
00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:55,498
for whatever it is
you seem to have?
386
00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:56,441
Rope dyslexia?
387
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,443
I guess maybe
I just don't get knots.
388
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,520
But you're good
at lots of other stuff, Dad.
389
00:13:00,672 --> 00:13:02,447
Like making burgers. Uh...
390
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,358
- Gene, you want to jump in here?
- Folding towels.
391
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,510
Folding towels.
I was just about to say that.
392
00:13:07,529 --> 00:13:09,954
Actually, I'm not that good
at folding towels.
393
00:13:10,181 --> 00:13:11,197
He's not.
394
00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:13,625
- Well, that was a bust.
- Poor Teddy.
395
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:15,351
He deserves something
from this ship.
396
00:13:15,444 --> 00:13:17,444
Hey, if you want to do
another look-see down below
397
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,022
for a torpedo
they might've forgotten about,
398
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,524
- I'm with you.
- Ugh, I hate when bullies win.
399
00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:23,635
These guys
and the Debbie Bernardinis
400
00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:27,196
and the Biffs and whoever
the bad guy in Superman was.
401
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,640
- I hate it!
402
00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:29,790
Huh.
403
00:13:29,884 --> 00:13:32,051
- What are you doing?
- Who, me?
404
00:13:32,203 --> 00:13:33,478
I'm just noticing
how this bell...
405
00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:35,388
...seems to want
to be off this ship.
406
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,315
And if it just falls off,
407
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,317
then it's not
like we took it at all.
408
00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:40,985
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's like a loose tooth.
409
00:13:41,212 --> 00:13:42,153
It wants to come out.
410
00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:43,880
Whoopsie!
411
00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,324
- Mama, you make me so proud.
412
00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:48,142
Hi, sailors. How you doing?
413
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,144
Oceans, huh? So much water.
414
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,055
All right, come on, come on.
Let's give this to Teddy
415
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,406
and get out of here.
416
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,500
Where have you been?
I stress-ate all the crab cakes,
417
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,651
and now I'm starting in
on the cocktail weenies,
418
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,395
and everyone keeps giving me
the evil eye.
419
00:13:59,414 --> 00:14:00,746
Can we go now, please?
420
00:14:00,899 --> 00:14:05,176
Yes, we can leave now,
but you're gonna leave a winner.
421
00:14:05,328 --> 00:14:06,419
Eh?
422
00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:08,847
- Why do you have that?
- We got it for you.
423
00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,182
A little souvenir.
Better than a pad eye.
424
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:12,575
I mean, it's bigger. Jingly-er.
425
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,428
He's speechless.
A simple "thank you" is fine.
426
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:16,929
Why would you think
I'd want this bell?
427
00:14:17,082 --> 00:14:18,264
This is the deck bell.
428
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,416
It's the bell they rang
when I fell overboard.
429
00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:22,193
I hear this bell
in my nightmares.
430
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:26,272
Well, now you can hear it
when you're awake. Right?
431
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,758
Also, you can't steal something
off a navy ship.
432
00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,017
You can get in big trouble.
433
00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:32,278
We got to put it back
before anyone notices.
434
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,372
Or we just toss it overboard?
A little mini scuttle?
435
00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,449
No. We got to put it back
on the wall.
436
00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:38,209
They're gonna ring it
at the end of the ceremony.
437
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:39,878
It says it in the program.
438
00:14:40,029 --> 00:14:41,604
Okay, okay.
We'll do it. Calm down.
439
00:14:41,623 --> 00:14:44,123
We'll put it back real quick
and pretend this never happened,
440
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,775
and we get out of here
before they, uh,
441
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,460
dust it for fingerprints. Right?
442
00:14:47,536 --> 00:14:49,370
You didn't wipe yours off?
It was the first thing I did.
443
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,039
Ladies, gentlemen, sailors,
the ceremony's
444
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,299
about to start shortly,
445
00:14:53,451 --> 00:14:54,951
so please begin
to take your seats.
446
00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:57,061
If you have to hit the head,
now's the time.
447
00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:59,956
"The head" is what the navy
calls the bathroom.
448
00:14:59,974 --> 00:15:01,065
Isn't that fun?
449
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:02,233
Well, now everyone's
going to the bathroom
450
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,401
right next
to where the bell was.
451
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,219
- Yeah, that's not helpful.
- Oh, boy.
452
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,979
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
We got to do something.
453
00:15:07,132 --> 00:15:08,648
Teddy, it's gonna be okay.
454
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,467
Uh, time for operation
"Put the Bell We Got for Teddy
455
00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,469
- Back on the Wall."
- Damn it, I hate this situation,
456
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,413
- but I love that name.
- It's fine.
457
00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,068
All right, Mom. How are we
gonna unring this bell?
458
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,420
We're just gonna, uh, wait here
459
00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:24,071
till that bathroom line
goes down,
460
00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:25,572
- then we'll put it back.
Will the sailors
461
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,667
from the maiden voyage
and their guests
462
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,093
please fill in the front row.
463
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,762
- Oh, boy.
- Uh-oh.
464
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,096
Double-Dip, come on!
465
00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:33,580
Uh, I'll be right there!
466
00:15:33,675 --> 00:15:35,099
Eh, we got to go sit down.
467
00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:36,509
Okay, okay.
Uh, we'll go sit down.
468
00:15:36,678 --> 00:15:39,086
And then we'll sneak away
in a minute. Act natural.
469
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,163
- Oh, boy.
470
00:15:40,181 --> 00:15:42,848
Maybe walk less clang-y?
471
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,850
Uh, oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God.
472
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,094
And maybe don't shout "Oh, God"
quite so loud?
473
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,763
- Oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God, oh God.
- Better.
474
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,341
Uh, I'm gonna need
that rope back.
475
00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:53,767
I really want to get
to the ceremony.
476
00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:55,861
Can I borrow it
for a little longer?
477
00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,030
You really want to tie
that bowline, huh?
478
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,273
Yes, I really do.
479
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:00,792
I like that dedication, sailor.
480
00:16:01,019 --> 00:16:02,518
You can use the rope
a little longer.
481
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:04,036
- Thanks.
- Don't worry, Dad,
you'll get it.
482
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,022
I'm starting to get
really worried about Dad.
483
00:16:06,191 --> 00:16:08,115
Yeah,
is something wrong with him?
484
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,616
Um, I can hear you guys.
485
00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:11,210
I-I'm fine. I-I think.
486
00:16:11,362 --> 00:16:12,453
- Mm-hmm. Totally.
- Uh, yeah,
of course you're fine.
487
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,364
- He's not fine.
- Mm-mm.
488
00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,366
A little announcement
before we begin.
489
00:16:17,385 --> 00:16:20,219
I've been told that more
crab cakes are being microwaved,
490
00:16:20,371 --> 00:16:23,372
so those of you
who haven't got any yet,
491
00:16:23,391 --> 00:16:25,208
- just hang tight.
- I'm sorry. No one said anything
492
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:26,726
- about a limit.
Today,
493
00:16:26,878 --> 00:16:31,380
we give the USS Gertrude Stein
the send-off she deserves.
494
00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:33,049
The chaplain
will read a few words,
495
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:36,052
and then the deck bell will ring
one final time.
496
00:16:36,054 --> 00:16:37,495
But first,
we're gonna kick things off
497
00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:40,981
with everyone's favorite
navy rock and roll trumpet band.
498
00:16:41,075 --> 00:16:43,501
Take it away, Brass Kissers!
499
00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:48,397
Okay,
it looks like the bathroom line
500
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:49,565
has thinned out.
I think now's our chance.
501
00:16:49,584 --> 00:16:51,250
We fly in fast and low.
502
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,327
Stay under their radar.
Get in, get out.
503
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,162
I don't know
how I'm gonna reattach
504
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,514
the bell without any tools.
505
00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,182
You're overthinking it.
You're overthinking it.
506
00:16:58,334 --> 00:16:59,559
Hey,
what are you guys talking about?
507
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,002
- Nothing. Enjoy the music.
- I'm trying to,
508
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,187
but there's a lot of whispering.
509
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,914
Shush, shush, shush.
Play with your rope.
510
00:17:05,007 --> 00:17:06,524
Teddy, Louise and I
all have to go to the bathroom
511
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:08,526
- at the same time. Come on.
- I want to go to the bathroom.
512
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,010
- No. You stay.
- Okay.
513
00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:12,255
I didn't actually have to go.
It just sounds fun.
514
00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:13,439
I kind of have to go.
515
00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:14,866
- Hold it.
- Okay.
516
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:20,854
Hey. You went to the bathroom.
That's cool.
517
00:17:20,948 --> 00:17:23,449
- Nice.
- Teddy, you get the bell back
on the wall,
518
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:26,269
and Louise and I will make sure
nobody comes this way.
519
00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:27,603
Hi.
520
00:17:27,696 --> 00:17:30,940
Oh, it's you guys.
Um, excuse me? I need to get by.
521
00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:33,292
- What's the rush?
Enjoy the view.
- Right.
522
00:17:33,444 --> 00:17:35,553
Okay, I need to hit the head,
so move?
523
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:37,613
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
but, like, you could hold it
524
00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:38,631
if you wanted to, right?
525
00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,207
I assume
the military trained you
526
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,893
to hold it
during a combat mission.
527
00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:43,877
Actually, we're trained
to just let 'er rip.
528
00:17:43,971 --> 00:17:45,288
Clean things up later.
529
00:17:45,306 --> 00:17:47,214
- Now, please, move it.
- Oh, no.
530
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,757
Hey.
- Eh, you're not done yet.
531
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:50,568
Am, too.
- All right,
what the heck's going on?
532
00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:52,795
- And what the heck is he doing?
533
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,906
You're stealing the deck bell?!
534
00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,909
- Oh, God.
- Okay,
maybe I wasn't done, done,
535
00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:59,802
but still, not cool.
536
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:01,821
I swear
I wasn't stealing the bell.
537
00:18:01,973 --> 00:18:05,491
- He was. I caught him.
- Embarrassing.
538
00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:07,643
Will someone please explain
to me what's going on here?
539
00:18:07,662 --> 00:18:10,421
I need to know if I'm filling
out a report or not.
540
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:13,091
Teddy didn't take the bell.
I did.
541
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,533
- Linda?
- Mother.
542
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,669
Oh, that's why I wasn't part
of the pee-pee club.
543
00:18:16,821 --> 00:18:18,838
I dodged a bullet.
But I still have to go.
544
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,082
- Teddy was just putting it back.
- I had nothing to do with this.
545
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,326
I'm just a little girl.
546
00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:24,827
I knew
I shouldn't have come today.
547
00:18:24,846 --> 00:18:27,680
But it was all, if I don't go,
Tony and those jerks win.
548
00:18:27,832 --> 00:18:30,683
- Wait,
what do you mean, "jerks"?
- Yeah, ouch.
549
00:18:30,835 --> 00:18:31,943
You guys
never stopped teasing me
550
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,169
after I fell off the ship.
551
00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:35,020
Then you came up
with Double-Dip.
552
00:18:35,173 --> 00:18:36,339
Double-Dip? What?
553
00:18:36,432 --> 00:18:38,023
I mean,
because you fell off. Twice.
554
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,617
Oh, then that is
a solid nickname.
555
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:41,435
What,
we're not supposed to tease you?
556
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,180
It's what sailors do.
It's what friends do.
557
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:45,456
You think we're friends?
558
00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:47,350
Sure, we are.
But, Teddy, you stand here,
559
00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,034
and you tell us
how you fell off the ship,
560
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:50,444
and then you fall off the ship.
561
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,130
I mean, how does that
even happ...
562
00:18:52,357 --> 00:18:55,115
- Oh, my God! Should you jingle
the clingy clangy?
563
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,135
The-the jingle bellies?
Jingle the thingy.
564
00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:59,786
- Oh, right.
565
00:18:59,955 --> 00:19:03,123
- Little more slack over here,
Billy! Let it out!
- Copy that!
566
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,217
Tony, keep that strap
above your chest!
567
00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:07,478
Otherwise, your nipples
are liable to chafe!
568
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:08,813
Trust me on that one!
569
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:10,464
Raul, how're we doing
with your line?
570
00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:11,965
My hands are greasy
from the hors d'oeuvres.
571
00:19:12,043 --> 00:19:13,709
I can't get a grip.
Schmitty lookalike,
572
00:19:13,728 --> 00:19:16,970
- tie this off for me, will you?
- Oh, um, I-I-I don't...
573
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,823
- I don't know...
- Come on, Dad. You can do it.
574
00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:20,324
- Maybe.
- We believe in you.
575
00:19:20,476 --> 00:19:22,735
- Stick the knots landing.
It's okay, Bob.
576
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,144
I'll come over.
577
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,146
No, I can... I can do this.
578
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,557
The rabbit comes up
from his hole,
579
00:19:28,651 --> 00:19:30,409
runs around the tree,
580
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:33,504
then goes back into his hole
and...
581
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:35,356
I did it!
582
00:19:35,433 --> 00:19:38,176
I did it! Knot teacher guy,
look! I did it!
583
00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:40,994
- Well, I'll be.
- I totally get
the tree part now.
584
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,015
- He can do the easiest knot.
- And the rabbit.
Take that, Schmitty.
585
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,257
Geez, I guess I was wrong.
586
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,077
It is, uh, kind of easy
to fall off this ship.
587
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:50,429
So, you guys teased me
because we were friends?
588
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,932
What? Of course.
We served together.
589
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,250
We're bonded for life.
590
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:55,717
I mean,
we were all kids then, Teddy.
591
00:19:55,719 --> 00:19:58,421
And you were a little older.
We-we looked up to you.
592
00:19:58,439 --> 00:20:00,439
And I was scared out of my mind
about serving,
593
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,091
but then you showed me
you could make a mistake
594
00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,609
and still be a great sailor.
595
00:20:03,761 --> 00:20:05,203
Gave me a lot of confidence.
596
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,780
- Wow. I had no idea.
Hey, Double-Dip.
597
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,540
I got something for you.
598
00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:12,435
- The bell? Really?
Yeah.
599
00:20:12,453 --> 00:20:13,860
It'll remind you
of the good old days
600
00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:15,120
and also today
601
00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,881
when you fished out
Mr. Slips Ahoy.
602
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:19,275
- Mr. Slips Ahoy over here.
- That's pretty good.
603
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:21,368
Let's just pretend
you sent a request letter
604
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,446
and it has all
the right signatures on it.
605
00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,038
But maybe put it down your pants
606
00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:26,224
till you get off the ship,
please.
607
00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:28,375
- Can I hide it in my jacket?
- No. Pants.
608
00:20:28,469 --> 00:20:29,952
Yeah, pants is better.
Put it in your pants.
609
00:20:29,971 --> 00:20:32,212
- Come on.
- Okay, I'll try. Thank you.
610
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,714
Aw, Teddy got the bell.
611
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,716
- All because of me.
- I mean...
612
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,217
Thank you
for your service, Mom.
613
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,477
If I fall off the ship,
614
00:20:38,629 --> 00:20:40,238
do you think that lady
will give me a torpedo?
615
00:20:40,465 --> 00:20:42,314
Hey, maybe you should reach out
to your old friends, too, Mom.
616
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:43,741
And then you can make up
and wear matching jackets.
617
00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:46,635
I would, sweetie, but I TP'd
Debbie Bernardini's house
618
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,637
after they started calling me
Death by Chocolate.
619
00:20:48,656 --> 00:20:50,489
And I peed on her bike.
But I shouldn't have.
620
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,899
Kids, do the Teddy thing,
not the Mama thing.
621
00:20:53,035 --> 00:20:54,493
Oh, and I called them
at 2:00 in the morning
622
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,420
every night for a year
and pretended I was a killer.
623
00:20:56,572 --> 00:20:57,571
Geez, Linda.
624
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,257
That's what friends do?
625
00:20:59,408 --> 00:21:02,576
- ♪ Double-Dip, Double-Dip ♪
- ♪ ♪
626
00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:06,246
♪ One false step,and I fell right off the ship ♪
627
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,674
♪ Double-Dip, Double-Dip ♪
628
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:12,678
♪ Turns out it's pretty easyto make a second trip ♪
629
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:14,346
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
630
00:21:14,499 --> 00:21:15,848
♪ Look who went and soaked their drawers ♪
631
00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:17,424
♪ Five, six, seven, eight ♪
632
00:21:17,518 --> 00:21:19,426
♪ Got rescued, but my nipples chafed ♪
633
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,280
♪ Double-Dip, that's right, Double-Dip ♪
634
00:21:22,507 --> 00:21:23,948
- ♪ No one else to blame ♪
- ♪ Double, Double-Dip ♪
635
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,025
♪ Took me two falls in to get that name ♪
636
00:21:26,177 --> 00:21:29,287
♪ Double-Dip, that's me, Double-Dip ♪
637
00:21:29,438 --> 00:21:30,771
♪ When you're in trouble, on the double ♪
638
00:21:30,865 --> 00:21:32,290
♪ Call the Double-Dip. ♪
639
00:21:32,366 --> 00:21:33,457
Captioning sponsored by
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640
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,709
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