All language subtitles for arab.women.say.what.2023.1080p.web.h264-cbfm_track3_[eng]

♪

Nermeen: I'm on
crutches currently,

so the airport staff are
wheeling me around

and I'm very thankful
for that.

I'm a little nervous
about flying.

Specially... a few
planes in a row

and different
airports

with different Covid
prevention...

precautions and measures.

But, if this is
what I have to do,

then this is what
I have to do.

Hello!

Speaking Arabic

This is my
childhood home.

I grew up here.

It's where I'm
most comfortable.

And I'm sooo happy
to be home.

It feels right.

My mom's health is not so great,

so I'm grateful that I
could be here at this time

to take care of her and
monitor her health.

But it again splits my heart in
two because I know that

this is a vacation and I
will need to leave soon.

♪

Mama

A stray river
slices through ice,

pulsates

Carries memories
of home

Carries memories of you

♪

I started writing poetry
after I moved to Canada.

It was triggered by... the
feeling of being a foreigner,

in isolation and the
immigrant experience.

There's so many things
I miss about Egypt.

But I think the thing that
sticks out the most

is the family gatherings.

It's the... it's a tough one,
because it's not only

your immediate family.

It's your extended family.

Every time I go,
I'm reminded by what I miss.

What I miss and what
I've missed out on.

And... it's always too short.

You get to visit with your
loved ones for...

a couple of hours?

Each?

To try to fit in years.

You try to fit in who you've
become, who they've become.

And...

You know, you never know
whether you're going to be

alive tomorrow.

So...you...I always think about
it as: Is this the last time?

Is this the last
time I'm seeing...

I'm seeing those people?

It's very tough.

Yeah, I hate it.

I hate it.

Sometimes it feels
like...should I even not go?

So that I don't have
to experience that?

But at the same time when
you're there

it's so fulfilling.

It's so fulfilling to
be there and...

and to be reminded of who you
are or who you once was.

It's tough.

It's tough.

It all hits you when
you're on the plane,

on the way to Edmonton.

It's like this has happened,
I have already left.

I'm going back I'm flying
back ten thousand miles

across an ocean.

To the Western side of the
second biggest country

in the world.

That's a lot of distance.

Feels like I'm
living in exile...

at some point.

It's more prominent when
it's time to celebrate

Eid or Ramadan.

So I was fortunate enough to
meet a group of really cool

women in Edmonton from
different countries and

different walks of life:
Lebanese, Egyptian, Sudanese,

Moroccan, Iraqi, Tunisian.

A bright mix of personalities
and warm hearts.

I think what made us gel
was the humour.

They love to laugh.

And they're amazing cooks,so...

And then Covid happened.

We moved our gatherings
onto Zoom and yeah,

we walked around with
those weird phones,

just trying to capture what we
were doing at home in lockdown.

My remote isn't
working, sorry.

I'm hearing
something else.

Son: Wait, mom, are we doing
the documentary right now?

Daughter: Jude, you
ruined it!

Boy: What?

Girl: That was the whole thing!

You're not supposed
to mention it!

♪

Hala: Laylan, why are you
enjoying working from home?

Speaking Arabic

Sanaa: Through the multiple
lockdowns and reopenings

it was...

It was bringing
a lot of anxiety.

At some point, you know,
you feel very isolated.

Even though I had friends and
they're like they were allowing

to have a cohort for somebody
who's single, living alone.

What I miss most about
Morocco is family.

I miss my parents, my brothers,
my nieces and nephews.

Yeah, I miss, you know,
the family warmth

and just, you know,

the proximity even though we
talk on the phone regularly.

I talk to mom and I call every
now and then my brothers

and other family members,

but it's not quite the same
when you're there in person.

Nedra: It's not
easy, it's not easy.

At all.

And another challenging
thing for me with Covid was

having my kids do online
schooling at home.

My son drove me crazy.

Raising my kids between the two
cultures is a bit challenging.

The way we try to
keep them

connected to their
Lebanese heritage

is by making sure we
expose them to the

Lebanese community that's
here in Edmonton.

So we make sure we're always
together so that our kids get

exposed to our
Lebanese way of life

without basically
dictating it on them.

And they just live it.

Perfect!

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Part of the problem I
faced personally is I had to

adjust my understanding of my
own culture and heritage

when I started raising
my kids here.

There is a fine line
between assimilation

and integration,
and that scared me.

I did not want
my children

to be assimilated.

I wanted them to
be integrated.

So, what are
you gonna make?

Son: I'm not telling you.

Why did you teach me to bake?

I feel like that's
not very common.

I don't think I
taught you how to bake.

I think - first of all you grew
up seeing me and your dad,

both of us, in the kitchen.

It's never been dictated
that I am the woman

that has to do this or...

My husband is the man,
he has to do gardening,

for example and there
was all the tasks were

equally shared since
we both worked.

It just comes naturally.

There are chores in the
house that have to be done.

It's done between us.

So if--

Daughter: Except
for the ironing, and laundry.

Nedra: That's the two
things I don't do.

Son: My own personal critique
of our culture is still that,

often times those gender roles
do continue to really exist.

Nedra: Uhuh.

And I feel like how
that's how it generally is.

But you're right, in
our nuclear family

everything's all fairly easy.

Father: What about the other
family that are our friends?

Nedra: The same.

Father: I think
it's the same thing.

Son: And I wonder
if part of that

is the reality of immigration.

And that like you have no
family support so you both have

to take care of the children.

You have little
income and resources,

so you both have to work.

Tereza: Well if even
in a country that

shows the difference.

Look,a girl gets born,
she wears pink.

A guy gets born, he
wears blue, right?

So even the difference
in treatment is here.

It's not only back home.

The gender role is quite
different in North America

and it has different
luggage to it.

So, the perception in North
America is that the rest of the

world is the same as them
or us, in North America,

and they carry
the same luggage.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Women in the workplace
have to go through many more

barriers that the men sometimes
don't even think they're there,

And I believe that's why
women among each other,

among ourselves, are harder on
each other, because of that.

Because we worked so hard to
build that image we don't

accept that one of us come
and show this weakness.

I think we are very hard on
ourselves and each other.

Nermeen: Can we all, just
like, say the prayer of

"God grant me the confidence of
a mediocre white man?"

Carmen: Yes, thank you.
If only!

Nedra: How about we end
up this beautiful meeting?

That was really, really nice
having you all ladies and...

if we hear Aya
before we leave

and we say our goodbyes
just after

she gives us a little
tiny thing to listen to

that would be awesome.

♪

Nedra: Bravo, bravo, Aya!

Speaking Arabic

Well, let's meet
again soon ladies.

Tereza: I look forward to
seeing you next time guys!

♪

♪ piano music

Aya: Do you wanna
wash your face?

Daughter: Why?

Because I don't
like this make up.

It's...

It's not nice.

It doesn't look beautiful.

You look beautiful
without any make up.

I love you without
any make up.

Daughter: No!

Aya: Yes!

You look much better
without any make up!

Oh my goodness.

Nermeen: Good to see you.

You're looking beautiful.

Laylan: You too.

You know, this beauty takes
hours to prepare.

We are just not
naturally beautiful.

You are naturally
beautiful.

Nedra: In North America we see
a lot of this commercialization

of women's bodies.

Whatever thing they're
advertising for,

we always see a woman
as a sex symbol,

sitting there with whatever
she's trying to show.

To tell them I have the
right product for you.

So is that... is it being a
powerful mother can only be

if you have the perfect body?

Or is it a woman can be only
successful only if she's

beautiful and attractive?

Tereza: People always
said to me: You know,

you are so pretty...
But...

and that "but"
used to kill me.

Because every time

somebody
told me I'm pretty

they put the word "but"
right after it.

You need to lose weight.

I remember at one point
I went to a picnic and...

this is something that
really hit me that day...

that the guy... who I mention
was not a skinny guy.

He was a big guy.

He was not maybe as big as
me, but he was a big guy.

He goes to me: Tereza!
Tereza! Come here!

And I'm like, OK.

I went.

And he goes to this
girl: Come, come, come!

Let's take a picture.

And he took a picture.

And then he turned the camera
at her and said: You see,

you said you're fat.

Look at her!

You are nothing
compared to her!

And I think at that moment
I... The first time somebody

mentioned that in front
of me, I broke down.

But I always laughed at
people when they say...

I always took it as a joke.

And it wasn't a joke to me.

It always hurt me.

So, I... sorry.

I'm thankful for my
husband because he...

you know, he made me
feel like a queen.

He did not think I'm fluffy.

You know?

He even... he goes: You're
a perfect fluffy pillow.

And you know?

I laugh because you can see
he loves me for who I am.

Sanaa: when it comes to dating,
why is it that in a lot of

different cultures and
religions why is it that women

have to stay virgins?

Until they get married?

You know, it doesn't
always apply to men.

Hala: The fact that...

Speaking Arabic

Whether we like it or
not it's still

Speaking Arabic

I think we were all... I
can assume and assume right...

we were all raised in a
conservative society. Right?

Whether religious or not, we
were all expected to abstain

until after marriage.

And if you don't, the honour
of the family is in question.

Not only your honour.

Aya: It is sad that there are
honour crimes in our community.

Like, women are getting
killed because of that.

Are you talking about
the dating itself?

Or are you talking because
they are engaging in a sexual

relationship with their... ?

Aya: Yes. In some, let's say,
not modern villages, yes.

Because...who can... who
can discover if the sexual

relationship was
involved in that or not?

And that made me think
as well of the problem that's

occurring right now
more and more...

Especially since the lockdown,
and since Covid has started.

We hear more and more about
domestic violence

and sexual assault.

I mean it's always been there.

But I think it's
going... it's going up.

And we heard so many
cases have been happening,

even in Edmonton here.

There's a... something
called Claire's law

that rolled out in Edmonton,
have you heard of that?

In Alberta... sorry,
on April 1st.

And it's a law that enables you
to check if the person that

you're with was convicted
of abuse or assault

or anything like that.

Also, one of your good
friends can do that for you.

But convicted here
is the key word.

That means you had to take the
person who assaulted you

all the way through a trial
and got him convicted

and now it's on their record.

This law does not capture formal
reporting to the police.

It does not.

That person could be accused
of sexual assault and rape,

but it's not on their
criminal record.

I think it's a great step, in
terms of having the information

about the person you're
choosing to live with

in closed quarters.

But there's more to
be done about that.

Aya: It's about
educating the victim,

and it's about like... giving
them their rights and enough

knowledge to know how to
fight over their rights.

Nermeen: I don't
disagree with you Aya,

but I'll raise you this:
I would say it's about

educating the aggressor.

Carmen: I agree with Nermeen
that educating the general

people not to be an oppressor
to begin with is more important

because it's more preventative.

Also, we still want to empower
each women... each woman...

to take the decision herself.

We don't want someone from
outside interfering and

deciding for her...
what's best for her.

I think about it
in a sense where...

well, what happens in
our countries...

Like I remember growing up in
Cairo and people touching my

body without my consent.

Nedra: Right.

Or hearing things that
I did not welcome

at all while walking
down the street.

Before, I couldn't report it.

But that's changing now.

Now, you can go to the
police and tell:

Look, this person
did that to me.

Then again, we do
have a long way,

because surprisingly the
community comes together

and says: No!

Do you want him
to lose his job?

Why do you want to
drag him into that?

And then you'll be going in
and out of police stations

all week.

Let it go, forgive.

Weaponization of forgiveness
is one of the most...

harmful things.

Nedra: That brought me to think
about an issue of the right

women to their own bodies.

Like if we have a look at
what's happening in the United

States and the abortion
issue in the United States.

It's a huge one.

I think that the issue of
abortion in the States is more

than talking about the medical
piece of the abortion itself.

A lot of contention in the US
came from the fact that the

right to have abortion and the
right to safely access abortion

services was made mainly
by lawmakers that are

predominately men.

This is a huge
problem, I think.

Because women's health issues
are being politicized.

And decision making is
happening by people who are not

the primary stakeholders.

So...this goes beyond
pro-life and pro-choice.

One has to argue that it's
about women having the right to

voice for themselves.

Sanaa: Nedra, I don't
think it's, you know,

I don't think it's mainly men
kind of pushing that agenda,

but... it's a mix of
men and women as well.

Like just throughout the
pandemic I am seeing that there

are lot of people protesting
against wearing a mask

because of Covid,

and they are claiming:
My body, my freedom.

Yet the same people
are against abortions.

So, how do you square that?

Certain topics... the way
they are used... is to serve

certain political agendas.

In this day and age where
people get their news from the

Internet or Facebook I think
it's very easy to sway them

a way or another.

I don't know, like, I don't
understand this big hype on

abortion myself.

It was never looked at
as a taboo in my society.

So, to see it happening here in
North America at that scale...

It kinda... I don't
understand, or it kinda

takes me by surprise.

I agree with Hala.

I don't understand the big
issue here in North America.

In Egypt, if a woman's health
or life is threatened by that

pregnancy, it's a green light
to abort the pregnancy because

both lives are valuable but the
mother's life is more valuable

than the foetus's
at that point.

It should be a case by case.

It's not one
blanket covers all.

And it should be approached
by care and caution.

Not with judgement at all.

Now we've been really
fortunate to have each other

once this Covid is gone,
hopefully soon,

we'll be able to meet in person.

And I cannot wait to give you
each one a hug, a big hug.

Cause, how long since we
haven't been able

to see each other, ladies?

Nermeen: Speaking Arabic
God willing.

Hala: Well, have a good
evening, everyone.

Nedra: Thank you so much.

Hala: It's always nice to
chat with you.

Nedra: Absolutely

Hala: Looking
forward for the next time.

Nedra: Hopefully in person!

Hala: Hopefully.

[overlapping well wishes]

Hala: Goodnight!
Nedra: Goodnight!

♪

Speaking Arabic

♪

Nermeen: We were all starving
for real interaction

after all that time.

So I can't wait, can't
wait to see them.

I can't wait.

I decided.

Today will be my last
on the glacier

I will pack my curls
and leave

Hoping they will
find company with yours.

Nedra: I'm so excited to see
all of you again... my gosh!

Speaking Arabic

I'm so excited... I'm telling
her it's been two years!

Carmen: Hi!

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: How are
the grandchildren?

Nedra: Good. Really great.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: So cute.

speaking Arabic

Carmen: How was the drive?
Aya: Amazing.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: All good?

I had to ship it from Syria,
so it had to be like...

Carmen: Protected.

Aya: Yeah, yeah.

Because like it's hard
to find one here.

Laylan: I know.

For the instrument,
you have to touch it,

you have to feel it.

Laylan: I know.

You have to play it, then
you can feel if it's the good

fit for you or not.

Because there's a
communication between,

like, you and the
instrument.

So I had to
bring it from Syria.

The revolution
happened in Syria...

And there was lots of chaos.

There was lots of struggles,

there was lots of
sadness around.

And, unfortunately, I get
inspired by tragedies in life.

So I wrote a song for... about
the moms who lost their kids

in the war.

And that song became
as a way for them

to release their sadness.

And to express their feelings.

It became a very famous song,
and as a sample of what's going

on in the area.

So that's why the
Oud was my weapon.

When everybody was fighting
using real weapons...

I was using my instrument
as a weapon.

Tereza: Hello!

Nedra: Hi, hi, hi!

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Oh, my God.

You look so beautiful!

Tereza: Oh, my God,
I miss you guys!

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Oh, my God.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Hi, sweetheart,
how are you?

speaking arabic

Nedra: We were going
to listen to Aya.

Tereza: Yeah, Aya!

Nedra: She was going to play
something for us.

Aya: Yeah, of course.

I've missed... I've
missed your Oud.

Speaking Arabic

♪

To skip this part

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Can you
believe it is snowing?

We are almost at the end of
April and it's snowing outside.

Nedra: You came what
time of the year...

When you came to Canada?

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: We came in January.

I remember I told my husband,
We were landing and I told

him: I think they
took us to Siberia.

Are we mistaken?

I remember when we left the
airport I took a breath

and I could not breathe.

I said "I can't breathe."

Aya: Are you kidding me?

Take us back.

Nedra: Sanaa and Nermeen
at the same time!

Wow, Sanaa!

Nermeen: Trouble!

Nedra: Double trouble!

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Sanaa, I miss you! I
miss you, I miss you.

I finally get to hug you.

Nedra: It's so nice
to see everybody.

Tereza: It's good
to see you all.

Nermeen: It's been too long.

Nedra: What, two years?

No Ramadan with friends.

Carmen: Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Yeah.

Sanaa: Yes, yes.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Yes, it's been a while.

Nedra: It's too bad
Hala is not with us.

Nermeen: Where is she?

Nedra: She's in Mexico.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: But we miss her
around with us you know.

Carmen: Covid hasn't been fun.

Except for Laylan.

Speaking Arabic

Laylan: It wasn't
fun for any of us.

Why're you saying just for me?

If we wanna take care
of the greenhouse emission and

reduce consumption we should
encourage people to work from

home because it's
proven to work.

Nermeen: But I miss humans.

I feel like I've become
so awkward around people.

Nedra: It's so true.

Laylan: Go to the mall.

You can go outside.

Tereza: Speaking Arabic

Laylan: Go to my house.

It's fine.

I can hug you, talk to you.

Nermeen: You can
hug me any time.

Last time,
I was in a store.

And something, you
know, got into my nose.

So I sneezed.

And, seriously, I kid you not,
Everyone went like this.

Carmen: You parted the sea.

Tereza: I know!

Speaking Arabic

But I hear you.

It's just... we became so
conscious of people around us.

It's like, relax.

Relax.

But can you imagine,
we're sitting here

complaining about this?

Imagine if there's
a war going on

at the same time.

Carmen: Why imagine?

It is there. It is
happening, it is bad.

Nedra: It's so unfortunate.

We thought, ok, we're
reopening everything.

We're happy to start
all over again.

Sanaa: It's the end
of the pandemic.

The end of the pandemic.

And here we go... we
hear there's a war.

Sanaa: Yeah.

Nedra: It's really sad.

I really feel for these
people, the Ukrainians.

I mean, it's been awful.

I was reading about ten million
people have been displaced.

Nedra: Yeah.

Like whether internally or
to neighbouring countries.

In total.

Ten million people.

Carmen: Yeah, I've
seen the rocketing.

How it was targeting
big cities.

And during the time there
were a lot of reports

coming from Ukraine.

It's like... people
were talking,

it's like we're staying,

we're gonna fight
We're gonna resist.

We're gonna defend our country.

But I have an issue.
I am so sorry.

I don't wanna be a
negative person,

but we have people dying
all over the world.

All over the world.

And suddenly, all the
attention is about Ukrainians.

I have lots of
Ukrainian friends.

I appreciate them a lot.

But I find the...
it's a war...

At the same time,

they're focused because
they're European.

They're not Middle Eastern.

Like, for example, till now
people are getting misplaced...

In, for example,
the Palestinians.

You know, they're
getting misplaced.

No issues talking about them.

You know, like, we need to...

Carmen: It's how the
media portray it.

That's what's different.

It's like it's OK and expected
to happen in Iraq or Syria or

Palestine or Afghanistan.

It's OK to happen there.

It's OK for the people
to be in suffering

because they are
expected to suffer.

Aya: Some countries are meant
to be this way right?.

This is ridiculous, right?

And meant to be this...
because they are not civilized

Nermeen: Do they actually say
that outright in the news?

Sanaa: They did.

It was really... some
channels, some anchors,

ended up straight out saying
it's that... Ukrainians are...

you know... they're
blue eyes, blond hair.

They're Christians
- They're like us.

Aya: They are not like Syrians.

Sanaa: They are not like
the usual refugees

that you would see.

Carmen: Yeah, who you don't know
where they're coming from

Sanaa: Yeah, so that's
how like a lot of media covered

- I think the media coverage
in some channels was really bad

from that perspective.

I support Ukraine.

I went out for the rally.

I have Ukrainian friends.

I went out for the rally here
Downtown and everything.

But for me, you know,
compassion and empathy

would be for everybody.

Regardless.

Nedra: Absolutely.

Sanaa: And you have a
country that was thriving,

people that were
living their lives.

And all of a sudden there's
bombing and they have to

flee the country.

You know... because
of... you know...

Carmen: War is ugly.

War is ugly anywhere.

And happening to any people.

Exactly.

Carmen: That's the thing.

And that's what was
missing in some channels

because they were trying to...
I guess...

for the other populations to
show that you should have

empathy and compassion for these
people more than others.

But to me, it shouldn't--
Carmen: Do you think--

It shouldn't be that way.

Carmen: But that's the
colonization mentality.

Sanaa: It is.

Carmen: That's it.

It never went away.

It was just under
multiple layers.

It's like... we
invade the countries.

We use the resources.

We enslave the people.

We displace the people.

But then we go home to Europe
and put those victory monuments

that we are civilized nations.

Speaking Arabic

Laylan: Actually,
I felt bad for him.

Because he has very
limited information.

Speaking Arabic

Laylan: One of the
birthplaces of civilization.

Home of science, mathematics--
Sanaa: Art.

But I think it's also...
there's an "us" and "them".

And there is still a...

like a superiority
complex kind of feeling that

Europeans are above Africans
or above Asians or Arabs, or...

Carmen: Everyone?

This is exactly it.

The nations that colonized most
of the civilized world,

like starting from India,
all the way to Morocco...

These are the countries, and
all the way down to Africa...

all of Africa.

These are the countries
that used up the resources

from these countries.

Even when the colonization
ended and they left these

countries back to their,
like, original people,

they left them in very
bad economical situation.

Literacy was really
bad under colonization.

They tried to eliminate the
people's languages

in some countries and
enforce their own.

And enforce their own
culture because it's better.

Nermeen: Including here.

Carmen: Including here.

Nermeen: Yeah.

Carmen: Aboriginals...
can we talk about that?

Nermeen: Right.

Nedra: The residential schools.

Carmen: Yeah.

Internment... it's--
Nedra: The Japanese internment

Carmen: Yeah.

Up till today, people
are still talking about

what happened to them.

And no one knew about
it in the schools here.

Laylan: My homeland
was in Baghdad.

But every
summer break...

Speaking Arabic

I call it "Happy Months."

Just because
I speak Arabic,

right away they
assume I'm Muslim.

I'm like, it's like... no.

Arab is a language.

Yes, Islam has that base...
this is their language, right?

But I'm Christian.

Really?

Is there Christians in Sudan?

Carmen: If you can imagine!

And then I tell them:
You know south of Sudan?

It's mostly Christian.

Really?

We thought it's only Muslim.

No.

What are you?

I know you're not
Arabic Arabic.

Kurdish.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Right?

Laylan: Not Arabic Arabic?

Tereza: Well, you live
in an Arabic country.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: You belong there.

Speaking Arabic

And they get
the right, somehow,

to tell us you can't solve your
problems in a civilized way.

In a peaceful way.

You created a problem
to fight over

and then you judge how we
are fighting over it

and why we're
fighting over it.

Nermeen: Like, when it
happened in Iraq

speaking Arabic

It doesn't look like
you have democracy.

You've been fighting.

Speaking Arabic

Beyond the ocean.

Nermeen: Be democratic. It's an
invasion... straight up.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Two million and a half?

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: Oh, my goodness

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: So democratic.

Speaking Arabic

Canada is the best
place for our kids to start...

to build their future,

Speaking Arabic

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Palestine is ongoing.
It's ongoing.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Oh, my God.

Speaking Arabic

She is the little girl...

Aya: She was nine years...

Speaking Arabic

She stood up in front of an
Israeli soldier saying:

"This is our land"
This is our country...

Speaking Arabic

She is a Ukrainian girl.

And this post...

Aya: Went viral.

Nedra: Ukrainian girl, why?

Because she is
blonde and blue-eyed?

Aya: Yes. So, fake news.

I feel sorry for
the Ukrainians.

And I feel sorry for the kids
there who are displaced from

their country of course.

But also, we feel sorry
for our people.

Sorry for taking so long, or
for speaking so much

for this topic.

Because I get
emotional, you know?

Do you remember there
was these two beautiful

supermodels... Gigi and...

Carmen: Bella.
Nermeen: Bella.

Bella Hadid.

Tereza: Do you remember?

As soon as they
mention...

Nedra: Huge thing about them.

Sanaa: Oh yeah.

Tereza: As soon as they
mention that their father is

Palestinian, suddenly they are--

Carmen: Not mention... they
posted his old passport.

Tereza: Yeah.

Nedra: Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah Cause he was
born in Palestine.

Carmen: Yeah, well,
what else should he say?

We should go back in time
and wipe that history

and pretend it never existed?

The censorship
is what bugs me.

Like if you write Palestine...
Nedra: They close your account

Yeah, in a post... and I
think Vogue rewrote it

or reposted
it I can't remember.

Right?

Tereza: Uhuh.

Nermeen: It was
something like that.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: It blocks some posts that
are related to Palestine or

related to these
people, you know? So...

Carmen: In English.
Aya: Yes...

Speaking Arabic

Like an echo chamber.

Carmen: Yeah, tell each other,
but don't tell us.

Aya: It depends on the country.

So, breathe out.

This is your window... this is
your space to just express your

anger and release your...

Carmen: You think
people hear you.

Aya: Yes, but the algorithm
works an important role.

It's so sad.

What about sports?

Sports... I remember
when, Aboutrika?

He's an Egyptian
football player...

Speaking Arabic

Football! Football forever
football.

Speaking Arabic

I remember there was
one game where he was wearing a

Speaking Arabic

and there was heavy
shelling and bombing...

like it was misery over there
as it often is, unfortunately

And he got punished for it.

Carmen: Yeah?

He got punished because there's
no politics in sports.

And now, in sports, we're
openly discussing Ukraine.

Ukraine and supporting,
and that's fine.

I mean, if it's fine, it
should be fine for everyone.

If it's not fine, it should
not be fine for anyone.

Tereza: True!

When people say we have to
focus on Ukraine and if you

talk about anything else,
that's whataboutism,

I don't understand that.

You're an adult who can hold
two independent thoughts

at the same time.

You can have compassion
for the Ukrainians.

You also see how that
incredibly different focus on

what's happening there compared
to what happened in our

countries and Africa and
China and all of these places

Nedra: The Uyghurs...

Nermeen: It makes people feel
more more invisible.

Carmen: India, Pakistan

Nedra: India,
Pakistan and Kashmir.

Nermeen: Exactly... but even,
like if we're talking about

Edmonton, for example.

You cross the bridge,
it's yellow and blue.

Speaking Arabic

I think about
an Ethiopian refugee,

I think about a Palestinian,
I think about a Syrian.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: They didn't get
that much attention.

Nermeen: Nobody asked the kids
to put on clothes that resemble

the flag of any of
these countries.

They're in class
with the Ukrainians.

It just brings out
the invisibility.

Sanaa: When they portray
Ukrainian women,

it's a sense of...

You have that sense of support
and power and it's an inspiring

message that they are
fighting for their country.

But, when it's a girl or a
woman from another country

defending and standing up
for the very same rights,

it's not portrayed
the same way.

Carmen: It's dual standards.

It's... like it's natural and
normal for everyone to do what

the Ukrainian
women and men did.

This is normal.

Your land is under attack,
you defend your home.

That's normal.

And this is exactly what
happened in all other countries

that had been under war.

Except that they
look different,

so they are an enemy.

They dress different,
so they are uncivilized.

No one looked at me
differently when I was home.

But here, I have
to explain myself.

I have to... I used to
be very shy person.

I had to shed that
shell very quickly

when I started travelling.

I had to... I had to
let people know me.

I had to talk.

I had to speak up.

Uh... because if I don't, I
can't afford it anymore.

I can't afford not doing that.

Because everyone has
an opinion of me.

And it's not me.

Nedra: I mean, look, even at
the media when... how they

portray Arab women.

Nermeen: Arab women?

On the covers of books?

It would probably be
something like the Orient,

or the Mystery of the
Orient...... whatever that is.

Where you can only
see the eyes.

Lined eyes... and just eyes.

I gotta tell you... the rest
is not important.

Carmen: More mysterious.

You see them either helpless
and oppressed, or exotic!

Like you said.

They either show you
total extremes...

Do you see a woman pilot,
engineer, businesswoman?

Homemaker, but she
has a great education?

She chose to be at home.

You don't see that.

It's always portrayed
as that helpless woman,

or women wearing that...
Sanaa: Submissive.

Nedra: Very submissive.

Nermeen: Usually a third wife.

Nedra: Yeah.

We don't have that in Tunisia,
we don't.

Not polygamy.

Carmen: You don't
have it in the law.

But that's the thing.

In Egypt, it's permissible.

By the law.

But how often does
it even happen?

Nermeen: Who has the money?

Who has the courage?

Speaking Arabic

Sanaa: A lot of people think
that maybe there isn't enough

feminism because
of the religion.

So, is there
feminism in religion?

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: This tradition of women
being scrutinized has been

going on for hundreds of years.

We still see a woman
as a body.

Not as a mind.

Same thing in the Arab world.

Women are still fighting
for their rights today.

But there is a
place for feminism.

We can see violence, whether
in the Western culture,

or in the Arab world, still
exists against women,

against children.

So as long as women are
speaking up for their rights,

as long as they're showing they
are there to fight for this,

I think the Arab world
will be better on.

It's just a matter of time.

Speaking Arabic

♪

[background chatter]

Nedra: It's my
pleasure, honestly.

I'm so excited to see you all.

Speaking Arabic

Bon appetit.

Nedra: This is excellent.

Speaking Arabic

Exactly.

Tereza: Why is it that
when... I don't know,

I see it mostly in our Middle
Eastern culture...

When we invite five people,
we cook for fifty?

Sanaa: Because it's better to
have more than not enough.

That's how...

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: Yeah,
that's the thing.

You're not supposed
to assume the number

of exact people.

You invite six people
and twelve come.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: I know.

Nedra: She's busy eating.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: I'm officially...
I am married.

As of a few months ago.
In the church.

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: So officially, after
ten years of marriage,

I'm married in the church.

Speaking Arabic

The second round?

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: This is
really nice you guys.

It felt like back home... a
piece of home here today

seeing you all.

Having some tea with pine nuts.

It does feel like home, true

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: Days like
that you miss home.

You don't feel Ramadan here
the way you feel it back home.

Tereza: And even like the
festivity of Easter,

not just Ramadan... any
kind of festivities.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: That's what brings
us to the issue of identity.

Us being here, living
here for years.

Do we feel we belong here
and not back home anymore?

Or do we still have
that nostalgia to home?

Or am I able to, when I go
back home, to settle there?

Nermeen: You struck a chord.
-It's hard.

I think this is the first
generation immigrant curse.

I don't belong here and I
don't belong there,

but I'm longing for my
originating country,

-That's exasctly what it is.
-for my origin.

And when I go there I
don't feel fully at home.

Because there's another
home over there.

Sanaa: You're living
between two cultures.

For me, when I'm here, everybody
sees me as the Moroccan.

And when I go to Morocco,
everybody sees me

as the Canadian.

Women: Yup... true.

Carmen: You don't even live
between the two cultures.

You are the two cultures,
in the same time.

Sanaa: I identify as both, and
I do see that I understand

fully both cultures.

But like, other people would
notice certain subtleties and

certain differences.

And so that's why when I go
to Morocco with my family,

But then with other people
they're you know,

"You're too Canadian."

Nermeen: You struggle.

Carmen: I think when we leave
home... when we left home...

we made a decision to make a
new version of ourselves.

So the old life is a memory
in the new life you live.

And then you're
neither here nor there.

Nedra: That's exactly right.

You're neither here nor there.

Carmen: Yeah.

You're like both.

I don't know how.

Sanaa: You're constantly,
like for me,

I'm constantly thinking
about my parents, right?

Like my mom now, because
my dad passed, right?

So it's been difficult.

And then when I was here,
every time I hear something,

especially when it's
something very important,

then I have to pick up and go.

Like when dad was sick
I had to pick up and go.

And then I spent
some time there.

He kind of started getting
better, came back.

And then all of a
sudden he passed.

So then within a day I
had to leave, which is,

you know it--

Nedra: Did you make it
to the funeral?

Sanaa: I did, well, by the time
I got there they had buried him.

It was the next day, right?

But I was there for the
rest of the funeral.

Because you know how it goes...
Nedra: I know.

-For forty days
-I know.

But you weren't there
for the funeral.

And I wasn't either.

And that's why you say:
What did I miss here?

You know... I didn't make it.

And then you get scared when
you get that phone call in the

middle of the night
telling you that bad news

and you don't know what to do...
You're lost.

It's hard.
It's hard.

Nermeen: There's that
feeling of helplessness,

especially with the distance.

You know, when my
mom got sick...

Yeah... when your mom
got sick too.

Nermeen: And then... at
that time it was Covid.

My siblings weren't...
they couldn't fly in.

And she was by herself.

So, when I flew
back it was...

I kept on thinking about so many
different things Like...

Speaking Arabic
Thank God...

I have the privilege of
being able to just

pick up and go.

That's right.

Nermeen: I thought about a
lot of people here within our

community who just...

-They cannot.
-they can't afford it,

they can't advocate for
themselves...

Aya: Or you have kids and you
can't just take them and go.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Unliveable anymore.

And even to take that trip
was like kind of adventure

and dangerous even.

But I had to do it because
I wanna see my family.

I want to live all the
details that I've missed,

Like during the past
five years or six years.

Speaking Arabic

I tried to
invite my family.

And because I don't make enough
income to sponsor them and to

go through the whole process
it's hectic and it's undoable

and... I am struggling,
seriously.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: And I feel
jealous sometimes.

Let me say it out loud.

I feel jealous
when I see, like,

other nations coming here
easier than Syrians.

So I'm by myself here raising
my daughter and I tried

as hard as possible to
bring someone here.

Still trying, you know?

I don't know.

It's like this topic brings me
lots of memories, and...

Nermeen: Of course
Aya: Yeah.

Nermeen: I'm sorry, Aya. That
must be very difficult.

Aya: It is difficult,
but... You know,

we're not the victims.

We're just trying to change our
destiny and make it happen

and fight for what we
want and move on.

That's what we want.

Nermeen: Right.

As an immigrant it's
like we choose to prove

something or we feel like we
have to prove something

all the time.

We're here, we wanna prove to
the society that we belong here

Nermeen: Right.

Carmen: And we're successful
and we contribute to the

society as everyone else.

But we wanna prove it.

And we wanna prove to our
family back home that we also

are successful and it wasn't a
bad decision to leave there

and to come here.

Nermeen: That's it,
that's the guilt.

Like... Living in a
way that makes sense,

that says that it
was all worth it.

Right?

When you're missing all the
important events in your

families' lives in
your friends' lives.

You can't fail.

-Yeah.
-You can't fail.

Failure is out of
the question.

You have to live well
to justify missing all of that.

Carmen: Yep.

Tereza: So for me, I'm
the first generation.

So I have a little bit of
a different experience

than you guys.

When I came in,
I came as a child.

So, this is my home.

I remember when I came
here I used to cry.

I wanna go back home.

I had no friends, no
people to talk to. So...

So it's the same for us.

Like, for me, being
here over 30 years,

Going back home for the family
and now I still have my mom and

my brothers and my sister but
I don't have friends there.

I lost my friends.

That connection is
gone long time ago.

So, beside my family,
there isn't much.

That's it.

Here is where I
have my friends.

So, here I have my friends
I have my comfort zone,

my home my kids.

And there, I have my family.

So do I feel more
comfortable being home here?

Or do I feel really good
being with my family?

I don't know.

I actually cannot...

They feed different
parts of you.

But that part of identity bugs
me because if I'm here,

I have a good life I have
my children I am home.

But I still have
something missing.

I go there...
It's the same thing.

You gotta fly back.

Nedra: If I fly back,
I have something missing too.

You have multiple homes.
That's it.

Nedra: Multiple homes!

Aya: Two homelands!
We have two homes now.

Nedra: Yeah.

It's basically that.
And it's gonna stay this way.

There is no way to bring
everything together anymore.

Aya: Once I wrote a poem
about this and I said, like...

Speaking Arabic

Nermeen: Totally.

It's not what you
call when you left it.

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Yeah.

Speaking Arabic

Nedra: You see that you
missed on a lot of things.

You missed on... weddings,
success moments

that your brothers and
sisters had to go through.

You lose your loved ones.

When I lost my dad in
a split of a second.

You see your mom
getting older and frail.

You see your nephews and
nieces growing up

and you haven't been there.

You miss all that.

I still feel Canada
is my home.

I spent more than my...

I didn't spend much
in Tunisia...

I spent only 18
years in Tunisia.

I left when I was 18.

So... but it's
engraved in me,

the love of my
country is there.

The love of my family
is there.

But Canada is also home.

So it took away from me that
family, loving caring time.

But I tried to make it up.

Sorry.

I tried to make it up by
going more frequently.

But I missed a
lot in Tunisia.

So, having said that...

Canada is in the heart
too as much as Tunisia.

So I belong to
both countries.

That's who I am...
Tunisian-Canadian.

Sanaa speaking Arabic: Umm Ali!

Tereza: The "mother of Ali" is
a really, really good dessert.

Nermeen: Don't set the
expectations too high

if they didn't like it.

Nedra: Speaking Arabic
Laylan likes the tea.

Laylan: Speaking Arabic I'm
going to take it with me.

Nedra: Oh, I didn't bring
things for the fruit.

Speaking Arabic

Carmen: Heart attack!

Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Oh, my God.

Having you girls after
all this is just amazing.

-It was very nice.
-Thank you!

Thank you for getting us
together, Nedra, in your house.

You're very welcome.
It was really special.

We really appreciate it.

After all, after two years.
Very special.

Aya: Speaking Arabic

Tereza: I can't believe it!

Speaking Arabic

♪

Nedra: Ohhhh!

Tereza: You know, I just want
to tell you that I'm very

thankful we live all here.

Because it gave us an
opportunity to mix and mingle

with different cultures.

Even within our
own Arabic culture.

Sanaa: Yeah.

Like I would have never--

Speaking Arabic

Aya: Thank you Nedra...
so much. For everything.

Nedra: You're welcome.
My pleasure.

Aya: And thank you for
this gathering

Nermeen Speaking Arabic:
Beautiful gathering.

Aya: Yeah.

Nedra: It's so nice.

Nermeen: You did give us
a little piece of home.

And you grouped all the
uncivilized people together.

[laughter]

Thank you.

Tereza: See?

I'm not the only one
who picks on people.

Nermeen: You can help bring
some of this to the kitchen.

I'm not taking all of that.

Aya: Thank you...
thank you so much.

Nedra: We'll do it
again, God willing.

Aya: Of course.

Aya: Speaking Arabic Thank
you, thank you, sweetheart.

Awaiting your visit.

Nedra: Speaking Arabic: God
willing. God willing.

Nedra: And if you do
something special,

or a concert... let us know.

Aya: Yes, yes.

Nedra: See you.

Carmen: Speaking Arabic

Tereza: Yes. I actually thought
it was gonna be nice and warm.

Nedra: No, it's not.

Tereza: Biggest mistake ever.

I keep forgetting.

Welcome to Canada.

Nedra: Laylan, don't bother.
Leave it like that.

Nedra: I will see you soon.

Sanaa: Thank you!

Nedra: Take care.

Sanaa: You too.

Nedra: I'm gonna miss you.

Drive safely.

Sanaa: Thanks.

Speaking Arabic

Drive safely, ok?

Nedra: Bye, Carmen.
Carmen: Bye!

♪

♪