All language subtitles for St.Denis.Medical.S01E09.You.Gotta.Have.a.Plan.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX.Hi

[timer ticking]

[bell dings]

Cryotherapy is great
for circulation.

It keeps me in peak form,

which matters just a bit when
your job is saving lives.

The closest cryopod's in
Portland, so I make do here.

It's ironic, really, extending
my own life in a space

reserved for the dead.

The only trick is
ignoring the smell, yeah.

Hey, Ralph, you want
to give it a go, buddy?

Helps burn cals.

Well, it's a pass from
Ralph. Fair enough.

Uh, all right, well, once
more unto the breach, huh?

Whoo!

[upbeat music]

♪

He's been unconscious
since he came in.

We are giving him morphine, uh,
but there is a DNR in place.

So we will let nature
take its course today.

I'm so sorry.

You know, delivering this
kind of news is never easy.

We have to remember that
this is a sacred moment

for these families.

Sometimes it brings
out the best in them.

And then other times...

- Well, I want an autopsy.
- Oh, Jesus, Martin.

He's 96.

His home nurse was
way too comfortable.

She's ready to move in.

Of course you don't trust
the woman that I hired.

- She did something to him.
- Maybe you guys could...

- Do we have to do a morgue?
- My dad hates tight spaces.

He wouldn't even sit in our
tree house when we were kids.

There we go, bringing
up the tree house again.

How many minutes did that take?

I'm going to give you
guys some privacy.

I could also go.

I have been waiting...

waiting for you to
bring up the tree house.

This is why you've
got to have a plan.

They don't have a plan,
and now they're arguing

about where to put the poor guy.

Well, no one's going to
be fussing and fighting

over this old-lady corpse
because I review and update

my end-of-life plans monthly.

I'm ready to die at
a moment's notice.

I just want to be cremated
and then have my ashes

mixed with glitter and
blown out of an air cannon

at a club in Vegas.

On Strip, not off.

I'm staying local.

I already got burial plots
for me and Tim and the kids.

I got four for
the price of three

'cause Costco had,
like, a thing, so...

Yeah, but what if your
kids are married and have

a family of their own?

Maybe they want to
be buried with them.

- Tough.
- I made 'em.

I'm keeping 'em.

Well, I suppose
you're all wondering

what my death plan is.

And the answer is,
I don't need one,

mm-mm, not for another
80 or so years.

In fact, I might even skip the
whole dying thing altogether.

What?

Living forever is
impossible currently.

But, man, are we close
to cracking that nut,

and I'm going to be
around when we do.

Although my chronological
age is 38, my bio age is 21.

Now, that's the result of a
dedicated wellness routine.

53 supplements a day,
daily meditation rituals,

and constant genetic screening.

Is it a lot of work? Sure.

But the reward is a little
something called infinity.

There's an emergency
in my father's room.

OK, I'm coming.

My sister keeps playing chimes.

And I'm stopping.

He hated wind chimes, and
these are his final moments.

It's better than the Fox
News you keep putting on.

Dad would want to be informed!

Man, that guy
really hates chimes.

Listen, I can't with
that family today.

You're going to stay with them
and watch for time of death.

Oh, uh, it's just I've
never actually seen

someone die before.

Well, let me fill you
in on how it works.

When they're dead,
look at the clock.

No, I just mean that moment.

You know, seeing
the lights go out,

realizing a human soul
has left God's Earth.

Serena can you watch for
time of death in 103?

Sure.

But it would be a good
learning experience.

You know, get a big
D under my belt.

I'm going to follow her.

Serena!

Interesting turn of events.

Looks like it'll
just be me and Serena

and the guy's kids
and the guy...

for a while, at least.

You know, all that
talk this morning

got me to thinking about
my own end-of-life plans.

You know, I recently
had to dump my executor,

and I would love it
if you took over.

Wow, Joyce, I'm...
I'm really flattered.

Well, good.

All the details are
figured out already.

Oh, that's very thorough.

Yeah, everything from the
font on my headstone...

Garamond... to the
catering at my wake...

Tex-Mex, tapas... it's all
here and ready to rock.

You know, my boyfriend,
Sanderson, was my executor,

but then we got in a fight,
and I had to get rid of him.

- OK. Well, um, you know what?
- Yeah, I'd be happy to do it.

- Yes. Slay, mama.
- Oh!

I'm going to go
update these pages.

Oh, you gentle fool of a woman.

What?

I was the executor of
my grandmother's estate.

It was a huge headache,
and she was nowhere near

- as crazy as Joyce.
- Oh, come on, she's not crazy.

She's just quirky.

Besides, who cares?

It's going to be a tiny bit of
work, like, decades from now.

Well, I've known
Joyce for a long time.

Nothing is tiny.
Everything is big.

When she was a
first-year resident here,

she used to wear these
insane magenta scrubs

with two pairs of shoulder
pads on underneath,

you know, to project power.

Even then, I told myself,
that woman is a lot.

Alex?

Hey, keep your lunch free.

Um, I've got a notary
coming this afternoon.

If we don't finish at lunch,

we'll just pick it up
again after your shift.

Excited! [chuckles]

[laughs]

Excited.

- You're taking his ring off?
- Yes, Martin.

- His hands are swollen.
- OK, I can hold it.

Give it to me. I have pockets.

- We all have pockets.
- Give it here.

No, I'm not going
to give it here.

Uh, how about some food?

Not eating can
really raise tempers.

Back home, we call it
getting hungry mad.

Yeah, why don't you go
grab us some food, Martin?

- Oh, you'd love that...
- tell everyone I was eating

a turkey wrap while Dad died.

That's not what
she's saying, Martin.

Stay cucked, Dave!

- I've had about enough...
- All right.

How about I'll get the food?

I'm hearing turkey wraps.

We also have a
great French yogurt.

Yo-plat.

It's good.

Well, my notary is
late, as per youzhe.

I'm looking for a new one, if
you've got someone you like.

Uh, you know, I'm
actually between notaries

- at the moment, Joyce.
- Gotcha.

- Yeah.
- [cell phone chimes]

Oh, I added you to our
family's text thread

so you can familiarize
yourself with everyone.

- Yeah, I saw.
- [cell phone chiming]

They're a really chatty group.

You'll grow to love them.

You should come to my lake condo

this weekend, catalog my assets.

I'll call a few
cousins, have them drive

up to meet us on Saturday.

- Uh, Saturday's not great.
- Hey, guys.

You planning a
little girls' trip?

No, we're not.

Yeah, because your
condo is kind of far.

You may want to make
a weekend out of it.

But, Alex, you hate being home
on the weekends anyway, so...

Ron, that is a great idea.

We'll have the whole Henderson
crew meet up with you

- for a wine-and-ham night.
- Oh...

Most of us are lactose
intolerant, so bring

your own cheese if you
want... we will not take it.

- Oh.
- It'll be fun.

[cell phone chiming] [laughs]

So the new plan is
to die before Joyce.

These are my DNA
screening results.

It's amazing how
detailed it gets,

especially if you do
extremely well financially.

You know, you got
genetic markers

and disease-causing variants.

You know we use this to
print patient charts?

Uh, yeah.

Val, that's right.

Computers can do a lot
of different things.

Uh, ooh, see here,
I'm allergic to birch.

I didn't know that.

I mean, that's helpful.

What's that red flag mean?

Huh, I don't think I've ever...

Well, let me just scroll down.

- The middle wheel scrolls.
- Yeah.

Click it in, it
goes even smoother.

Yeah.

[chuckles] OK.

It says here I got a 16%
chance of getting something

called Hollins Syndrome
in 30 to 40 years.

Doesn't sound like a big deal.

20% mortality.

Oh, God, I'm trembling.

Uh, excuse me.

No, I can't... this
is not a good time.

I need a second here.

Thanks.

How long is the cord?

How long is it? What's
this for, a giraffe?

- Ridiculous!
- I'm going to log you out.

There's my paperwork princess.

No, queen.

- Yas, my queen.
- Hey, Joyce.

My notary just got here,

45 minutes after I
asked him to be here.

There was construction
on the interstate.

- Hey.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

You don't have to be polite
to him... he's just a notary.

OK, so are we ready to
make this thing official?

Um, yeah, I have been
wondering, Joyce.

Are you sure that I'm the right
person to handle your estate?

- What?
- Why?

You don't want to
do it or something?

- No, I want...
- of course I want to, Joyce.

It's just, um...

Ron wants to do it.

- Ron?
- Yeah.

He was pretty upset

when he found out that
you asked me and not him.

It's just because you guys
go way back, you know?

And he kept saying, like, how
well each other from residency

all those years ago.

- He talks about that?
- Yeah, he said that you had

these, like, cool
magenta scrubs, right?

And he was like, wow,
she seems powerful.

That's what I was going for!

- No way.
- Yeah.

And here we are, flaunting
our fun, ham-filled,

lake condo weekend
right in front of him.

- I know.
- I can't believe this.

OK. Thank you for
telling me this.

I will have a chat
with him right away.

- OK.
- You can wait.

You need anything notarized?

Affidavits, custody
agreements, or...

Oh. Uh, no, I'm good.

- Thanks.
- OK.

Well, if you change your
mind, I have my stamp.

Cool.

- [indistinct arguing]
- They're still at it, huh?

It's like, why start
a family if that's

what everyone ends up with?

I still want kids, though.

I think if you're
with the right person,

you can make the
family you want.

That's what I'm looking for.

Matty, that's cute.

I hope you find it.

So do I as... as well.

So who are the contenders?

Are you crushing on
any guys at work?

What?

That new X-ray tech,
his ass in those scrubs?

Oof. I mean, I would,
but he wouldn't want it.

No, no, I'm not, uh...

I'm not gay.

You thought I was...
you thought I was gay?

Yeah, you have that
picture of Shawn Mendes

- saved on your phone.
- That was haircut inspo.

- It was for my barber.
- Oh, my bad.

[arguing continues]

I thought Serena and I
were making progress.

If you asked me this morning,
I would have told you

I was about a third of
the way up this hill.

But it turns out
I am at the bottom

of a giant pit that
is next to the hill.

And in that pit, I'm gay.

OK, the doctor will
be here in a minute.

Did someone have a little
chitty-chat with Joyce?

I don't know what you're
talking about, Ron.

Joyce and I talk about a
lot of things, you know,

because, uh, we're gal pals.

Well, let me fill you in.

Joyce just asked me to be
the executor of her estate

right after she asked you.

What?

Ah, well, I guess if
she wants you to do it,

- then I'm OK with that.
- Yeah, well, I'm not.

But I couldn't say that
because she was crying,

and she told me
she never realized

our friendship
meant so much to me.

- Ugh, the bond you guys have.
- Honestly, I'm jealous.

I know what you did.

- And a part of me respects it.
- [chuckles]

A larger part of me
is annoyed by it,

and an even larger part cannot
wait to teach you a lesson.

And an even larger
part has sympathy

for a working mom who's
just trying to get a break

- from all the nonsense?
- Nope, we're all out of parts.

And how is cremation
going to work anyway?

You get half his ashes, and
then I get half his ashes?

You know what, Martin?

It's controversial,
but I think we should

keep our father in one urn.

Maybe you guys can
hash this out later.

And where is this
urn going to live?

Are we going to mail
it back and forth?

This is technically
a quiet wing,

so if we could just calm down.

- We're not going to calm down.
- We're grieving.

So maybe you could just
mind your own business.

Don't snap at her!

OK, I know emotions are high,
but everybody in this hospital

is dealing with something,
so freaking out on the people

that are trying to
help you is not useful.

And this may surprise
you, but lunch was $85.

And I tipped Peter
at the register 20%,

and I'm not including that
because I am a nice guy.

[indistinct
announcement over PA]

Thanks.

Um, Peter doesn't
make the wraps,

so you don't have to tip him.

He was looking right at me
when I was tapping the screen.

That's Linda's.

What are you, the
iced tea police?

You know, just let
him have it, hon.

OK? Then he'll shut up.

Please. Come on, honey.

- [shouts]
- Oh!

- Matt!
- Uh, it's OK.

It's just my lip and
teeth and tongue.

- Also, I'm dizzy.
- What did you do?

You hit the poor
little boy doctor!

[indistinct
announcement over PA]

[laughing] Yeah, Keith.

She was like a dog with a bone.

[laughter]

What's so funny, you guys?

I'm not sure.

Oh, hey, Joyce.

We were just talking about
that time Hector got sick,

and, uh, Alex set
up his meal train.

Yeah, that was rough.

He was touch and
go for a few weeks.

Yeah, I'm telling
the story, Keith, OK?

She'd asked us all to pitch
in, and she remembered his,

uh, food preferences.

And so she had this Excel
spreadsheet and everything.

- She was a real superhero.
- The amazing Alex.

We are not workshopping
this, Keith.

She really could do anything
she puts her mind to.

Oh, yeah.

OK. OK.

Well, what's the funny part?

Well, the funny
part is that somehow

she's not in charge
of everything

and she really should be.

[laughing] Oh, I see.

Well, yeah... I was waiting
for a bigger payoff,

but, yeah, that is funny.

[laughing] Funny.

Hey, remember when
Hector came back from...

[shushing]

I can't get the
number out of my head.

16%, 16%, 16%.

16% chance in 40 years, Bruce.

And the disease itself...

I've never been to Europe
or any of the other places.

Bruce, you're fine.

You're going to die on the same
schedule as the rest of us.

Yeah, that's the problem.

Just think of all I've
done in my first 38 years.

- Really, go ahead, visualize it.
- I'm visualizing it.

Well, now, imagine what
I could do in 100 years,

in 1,000 years.

I'm not worried about
missing out on the world.

I'm worried about the world
missing out on Bruce Schweitz.

Maybe I should have children,
preserve my bloodline.

You should definitely
not have children.

Yeah, probably not.

If there were a nurse
here, you know, Alex...

Hey!

What ya... what ya
doing, friends, huh?

Heard my name.

[chuckles] Best keep
my name out your mouth.

- [laughs]
- Sorry.

Alex, Ron was just
singing your praises...

totally unprompted.

Oh, she's organized.
She's capable.

How sweet is that?

That is so Ron.

You know, he's just
such a great guy.

I would trust him with
my life... or my death...

you know, any major
milestone really.

Well, she really brings
the best out of me.

- Oh. Mm. [laughs]
- Out of all of us, really.

- I think...
- [grunts softly]

Is something going
on with those two?

No. No.

But maybe.

- It's fine.
- I just need to wash it.

Let me help you, dude.

You defended my honor and
got clocked with an iced tea.

I mean, that was some "Real
Housewives" -type stuff.

- You got to change your shirt.
- Oh.

- Yikes.
- How'd you get that?

You fall off a
trampoline or something?

Oh, uh, no.

Back home we were
repairing the grain silo,

and I got got by a
piece of scrap metal.

Wait, that's this one.

Oh, uh, this is actually a
horse we were breaking in.

I got bucked off,
so... klutz alert.

When I first heard we were
getting a nurse from Montana,

I was like, "Montana."

But then Matt showed up,
and I was like, "Montana."

But now I'm sort of
like, "OK, Montana."

She has the natural
warmth of a caretaker

but the mind of, um...

- Not a lawyer...
- Not at all.

- An executor.
- Oh.

OK, well, that is interesting.

You know, did I ever
tell you about the time

that I lost Ella
at the state fair?

Six hours, no contact.
The police were called.

Whoa, where was she?

Uh, on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Wow.

Six hours on a five-minute ride.

That's 140 cycles.

She messed up from that?

No, she's fine.

Although, who knows?

You know, we never
had her tested, so...

OK, Alex, you're
acting really weird.

- What's going on?
- Noth...

OK, what is up with
me, Joyce, is that...

You know, you're...
you're my friend.

We've been getting really
close lately, and I just...

I don't know, I think about
you dying, and I just...

I can't.

- Yeah, me too.
- I'm... I'm sad about that, too.

Oh.

Well, sweetie, I don't want you

to have to feel
all that grief now.

So why don't we just
let Ron do it, OK?

OK, yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's
probably for the best, so...

OK, well, we're going to
change that paperwork.

Ron, why don't you swing
by my office later?

We'll talk responsibilities,
executor fee, all that stuff.

OK?

Wait, sorry, there's
an executor fee?

Oh, yeah.

It's only $50,000,
but I hope it provides

some comfort when
the time comes.

But you don't have to
worry about that now, OK?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

You guys are out of
Cool Ranch, by the way.

OK, your breath stinks.

[whispering] $50,000.

Please just tell Joyce I
should be the executor.

Changing your tune
just because there's

a little money
involved... very tacky.

- Come on, Ron.
- 50 grand is not nothing, OK?

And I've got two kids
to send to college.

And, you know, the
little one eats worms.

He's not going to
get a scholarship.

Your kids are grown.

You don't know that
I'm done having kids.

- I could pull a De Niro.
- Please.

Please?

Fine, I will tell Joyce
to make you the executor.

All you have to say is,
Ron, I learned my lesson.

You are not to be trifled with.

Yeah, I'm not going to say that.

But thank you so much
for telling Joyce.

So the logic is you
two deserve the house

because you gave him
a couple of baths?

Have you ever had to gently
wash your own father's

genitals, Martin?

- Because it's significant.
- He's going.

So is a house.

The house is significant
as well, Linda.

Listen, picture 96 years...

Oh, Bruce, we need you in here.

For a million dollars,
I'd wash 'em right now!

- That's gross!
- Just stop!

It's happening!

[monitor flatlining]

[Dan Reeder's "The
Walk to the God House"]

♪

♪ The walk to the god house ♪

♪ Seems to take forever

♪ People seldom go that way

♪ The path is
like a cemetery ♪

Time of death, 2:01 p.m.

♪ Tend to string
out over miles ♪

♪ 'Cause the people want
to just be left alone ♪

- [sniffles]
- [sighs]

♪ People want to
just be left alone ♪

We love you, Dad.

I'm sorry I didn't come by more.

♪ People want to
just be left alone ♪

I'm so sorry.

♪ People want to
just be left alone ♪

[crying] I am so sorry.

Hollins Syndrome is just a word.

Well, two words, technically...
a phrase, you know?

I've been so focused

on Bruce Schweitz
100 years from now,

but what really matters is
Bruce Schweitz right now.

I'd rather live 100%
with my 16% risk

than live 16% of 100% of life.

You know, because
that's only, what, 84%?

If... no, that's not right.

Um, who's got a pen? Anyone?

- Alex.
- Hey.

I am so pleased that you've
accepted this position.

And, Ron, I'm so proud of
you for stepping aside,

despite how much
you wanted this.

Mister notary, uh, the,
uh, documents, please.

Are you sure about this?

- Well, that's weird.
- [clears throat]

By committing your
name to paper,

you will become my most
trusted friend and confidant.

Well, I'm honored, Joyce.

Where do I... here?

- Just...
- Enough!

Are you really going to go
through with this, Jojo?

Well, you've left me no choice!

Did he call you Jojo?

Look, I am sorry that I
didn't get you a plus-one

to my college reunion.

But that does not mean that
I am not committed to you!

Well, what else could
it mean, Sanderson?

- You wanted to fly solo...
- Sanderson.

So you could flirt
with divorced ladies!

No, no, none of my friends
from home brought dates.

Yeah, because they're
all losers, Sandwich.

They're not worth your time.

- Sandwich.
- Wow.

- So this is your boyfriend?
- Yeah, off-again.

Babe.

Wow, what a cool
and interesting way

for us to meet him.

Joyce, don't give up on us!

Look... [sighs]

I'll start paying rent, OK?

And... and you know what else?

I'll wear the ring you gave me.

On your ring finger?

Fine.

- Really?
- Yeah, I will.

- Already leaving.
- Oh!

You think it's,
like, a promise ring?

[whispering] I don't know.

- [giggles]
- Stop that. Come on.

- I'm not going to lie...
- I thought she was making up

- Sanderson the whole time.
- Me too.

I guess my kid's going to have
to go to a state school now.

But it's fine, you know? He
needs to be close to Mom.

Well, if this helps, I
looked over her plan,

and that 50K was based
on a 1996 valuation

of lots of Sears stock, so
you really dodged a bullet.

Mm-hmm. And you found
this out before or after

you let me take the job?

Absolutely before.

Say it, Alex.

Ron Leonard is not
to be trifled with.

[chuckling]

[bell clangs]